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American Morning
'Here's What I Don't Get'
Aired November 29, 2001 - 08:36 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DAVID LETTERMAN, LATE SHOW HOST: Do you know what is the best- selling toy so far this year? GI Joe. That's right. The worst selling toy this year, and you could have guessed this, is Tickle Me Osama.
(LAUGHTER)
Over in Afghanistan, Osama bin Laden stuck his head out of the cave and saw his shadow, and so that means six more weeks of bombing.
(APPLAUSE))
And the Taliban are continuing with their brilliant military strategy, the suicide surrender.
(LAUGHTER)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PAULA ZAHN, CNN ANCHOR: He's good.
JACK CAFFERTY, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Yesterday, he was talking about Osama bin Laden has all these body doubles. He's very tall. He's like 6'10", something like. He's a big guy.
ZAHN: Yes, he's 6'3", 3, 6'4".
CAFFERTY: So now there's a bunch of tall ugly guys to round up over there, instead of just one.
ZAHN: But there is a strategy. They're really having them over there. And then Mullah Omar is also a tall guy. So one would think if you would have to cross into Pakistan on foot that you would be pretty visible.
CAFFERTY: Yes, someone suggested that he's out riding from one place to another like a knight, on a horse. I find that a little hard to believe.
ZAHN: Right, along with many wives and children.
CAFFERTY: First time I was on your program back a few weeks ago, I said I'm looking forward for the day we get Osama's head on a stick. Well, it's getting closer.
ZAHN: It is?
CAFFERTY: Not long, perhaps.
ZAHN: I thought you referred to toast on a stick from...
CAFFERTY: So is that your final answer thing? That Regis Philbin.
ZAHN: The guy saying the wrong answer is, the right answer wasn't on the screen and he's suing...
CAFFERTY: No, ABC is saying they're not sure they're going to the show on schedule next year. It was arguably the most profitable program in television history.
ZAHN: I thought they were talking about the guy that was challenging the four answers about the highest peek in yadi-dadi-da, because he said the right answer wasn't among the four choices.
CAFFERTY: And the right answer isn't among the four choices.
No, ABC is unsure, they say, about whether they're going to put this show on the schedule next fall.
ZAHN: Why? It still has a pretty good audience, doesn't it?
CAFFERTY: The ratings are down from 17 million to 10 million, a decline of 37 percent. More importantly, the demographics have gotten older. They overdid this. It was the cheapest show to do in primetime, and you get Regis and half a dozen clowns who want to make some easy money and 20 people in the audience and you have a show. It's like Mickey Rooney used to do in his garage, and they made fortunes with this thing.
Why are you shaking your head?
ZAHN: Because you're funny. Mickey Rooney.
(CROSSTALK)
CAFFERTY: But it was very cheap to do, and the ratings were phenomenal. Now Regis, who is in his 60s signed up for something like $20 million a year, and then he went and said, hey, funny, my contract's up. How much to resign? So he made himself a small killing. But apparently, they ran four nights a week, the country's taste has changed, times changed. You live by the cheap, you die by the cheap. The show may not be back next fall.
ZAHN: So I just wonder if your a talent, like Regis, you just say, no, don't go to four nights, we'll do it one night a week, I don't want to be over (UNINTELLIGIBLE) nothing to say about, yes.
CAFFERTY: Now remember that bunch of folks down there in that county of Maryland who tried to ban cigarette smoking in your own house. Your neighbor could turn you in if smoke was offensive or drifted over your property line. A town in Montgomery County, Maryland, the same country that passed this stupid smoking ordinance, has banned Santa Claus from the tree lighting, the town of Kensington.
ZAHN: Hello? And why is that?
CAFFERTY: Two families in the town apparently complained that they didn't want Santa Claus, who used to come on a fire truck and light the tree, like they do in 5,000 towns, two families complained, so they voted to ban it. Here's a comment from the Mayor Lynn Ralfast (ph), I think is her name. Listen.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MYR. LYNN RALFAST, KENSINGTON, MARYLAND: This is a part of the American life. And I just think it's a shame that we can't have one in our town this year.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
CAFFERTY: One on the county commissioners voted said Santa can stay home and smoke cigarettes. Now what goes through people's minds?
ZAHN: Who will replace -- who's going to light the tree?
CAFFERTY: Apparently, these two families raised a squat.
ZAHN: Were there religious issue involved? Did they say what the concern was?
CAFFERTY: They didn't say. They didn't say. But one of the officials says we've become a national embarrassment, which I think is an probably understatement.
ZAHN: This is two in a row here.
CAFFERTY: If you don't want to see Santa Claus, don't go to the tree lighting, go somewhere else. Let the rest of the people enjoy the Christmas season. We've taken political correctness to an absolutely absurd level in this country.
ZAHN: Yes, but every time you fall and you make a politically incorrect statement, believe me, you know, you hear it from your e- mail.
CAFFERTY: Every day.
ZAHN: And you are probably proud when you get those e-mails.
CAFFERTY: I try to get at least one done every day.
ZAHN: Well hopefully, you probably generated two this morning from those two families who don't want Santa Claus in the tree lighting.
CAFFERTY: Don't write to me. I don't want to hear from you. ZAHN: You made it clear. You just stopped all those e-mails.
CAFFERTY: Don't call or write.
ZAHN: See you later, Jack.
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