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CNN Sunday Morning

Interview with Shirley Washington, Anne Dunnewold, Elizabeth Gambrell

Aired May 12, 2002 - 08:56   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
KYRA PHILLIPS, CNN ANCHOR: All right, as we celebrate Mother's Day, it's especially poignant for new moms. But even with the joys of new motherhood, there's also worry and uncertainty. The book "The Motherhood Club" gives help, hope and inspiration for new mothers from new mothers.

Joining us is author and mom, Shirley Washington. She's an anchor for Dallas station KDFW. Also with us, her co-author and psychologist Anne Dunnewold and new mom Elizabeth Gambrell. She's an attorney.

Good morning, ladies. Happy Mother's Day.

SHIRLEY WASHINGTON, AUTHOR, "THE MOTHERHOOD CLUB": Good morning.

ANN DUNNEWOLD, PSYCHOLOGIST: Thank you.

ELIZABETH GAMBRELL, ATTORNEY/NEW MOTHER: Good morning.

PHILLIPS: All right. Well, Shirley, why did you write this book? What triggered this whole effort?

WASHINGTON: Well, Dr. Ann Dunnewold and I decided to write "The Motherhood Club" to be able to help new moms settle into their most important role. And we wanted them to be able to do that as smoothly and as easily as possible.

So what we've done with "The Motherhood Club" is to dispel several mothering myths. And we also tell the moms about various emotional, physical and psychological effects of mothering so that they won't be surprised.

And, of course, what triggered it is because of my own personal experiences. I mean when I was carrying my son, all I heard was how wonderful mothering is -- and it is. And I heard about how you're going to be so exhausted. But no one told me about the mood swings. No one told me about the feelings of irritability. No one told me that I would feel guilty, for example, if my baby was crying and I didn't know why.

I can remember one night my son was crying and he's looking at me with pleading eyes saying do something. And I'm crying looking at him going I don't know what to do. And as it turns out, he actually had the colic, you know? But as a new mom when you don't know the symptoms, when you don't know the various ailments that can actually impact a child it can be very overwhelming and very frightening. And I went through that so that's why I wanted to write "The Motherhood Club," to help other moms.

PHILLIPS: It is the biggest emotional change a woman will ever go through. Ann, I know you attest to that. Where do you start? I mean I'm sure there are a lot of new moms watching this thing saying yes, I relate, help me. Where do you begin? Because you can't always depend on the husband or the parents or the friends. There's got to be other things you can do immediately when you start feeling that way.

DUNNEWOLD: Yes, I think that you have to know, first of all, that it's normal and that there's nothing the matter with you if you have some negative feelings in the adjustment to parenthood. It is, as you said, the most major life change an adult will go through. So it's OK to feel a little upset at times. And secondarily, the most important thing that you have to do is you have to take care of yourself, which we make the point in "The Motherhood Club." You have to take what Shirley calls mommy moments. You have to have some time for yourself. And we need more than just Mother's Day each year to take a little time for ourselves.

PHILLIPS: Yes, and Ruth Ann, you're a stay at home mom now but you were a big executive with an ad agency. I see you have twin daughters ages two and a half. What did you have to overcome? What would be your best piece of advice here?

GAMBRELL: Ruth Ann, Ruth Ann isn't here right now. My name is Elizabeth.

PHILLIPS: Oh, Elizabeth. I'm sorry. Ruth Ann had to go. I apologize.

GAMBRELL: That's all right. That's fine. I do have a little girl. She's two and a half now. But I agree with what Ann has had to say. It is very difficult when the new baby arrives for a new mom. People can tell you what's going to happen but until you're actually in the experience, it just doesn't really connect to you.

The sleep deprivation, the overwhelming need to have to care for your child 24 hours a day just takes a huge toll. And if you can't get help from your family -- and luckily my family was great, very supportive -- you've got to get help somewhere. And local hospitals or La Leche for nursing or a local PTA group -- you've got to get help.

PHILLIPS: Or this book, "The Motherhood Club," of course.

GAMBRELL: That's right, "The Motherhood Club."

PHILLIPS: Written by Shirley Washington. That's right. All right, Shirley, Ann, Elizabeth, and I know Ruth Ann had to go, but we got the three of you. We got to talk about an important subject. Happy Mother's Day to all three of you. Thank you so much. WASHINGTON: Thank you.

DUNNEWOLD: Thank you.

GAMBRELL: Thank you.

PHILLIPS: All right.

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