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CNN Live Today
Interview with Alan Cohen
Aired July 01, 2002 - 10:54 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
DARYN KAGAN, CNN ANCHOR: Well, every once in a while, a book comes along and it's so in your face, you have to stop and say, "Well, what's up with this book?" This one is called "Why Your Life Sucks and What You Can Do About It." It's just such a book.
Author Alan Cohen joins us to explain the substance behind the provocative title. He has written 20 inspirational books. He's a contributor to the popular series, "Chicken Soup For The Soul" -- good morning, thanks for joining us.
ALAN COHEN, AUTHOR, "WHY YOUR LIFE SUCKS": My pleasure.
KAGAN: Now, before my mother starts e-mailing me and saying, Why are you saying bad words on national television, explain the word "sucks" in the title.
COHEN: You know it used to be a bad word, but it's very descriptive because when something sucks it zaps your energy and you feel worse after you've done it and you feel like you're less than you were. So a lot of us walk around with holes in our bucket. And this book gives a lot of techniques to plug them up.
KAGAN: Very good. Well, first, let's look at why people think their life sucks. There was an interesting list that people came up with and we made a little graphic here. Twenty-five percent said the boss or the job. Nineteen percent say family. Eleven percent say getting older and four percent say their sex lives.
COHEN: Right.
KAGAN: When I look at that list, it seems to me almost everybody who is saying they're unhappy with their life is pointing fingers at somebody else not at themselves.
COHEN: And that's a big problem because the first chapter of the book is called, "You Give Your Power Away," which means that you place a source of your happiness or unhappiness and people and places and stuff outside of you. And a lot of us live irresponsibly in that we want to blame everybody for our problems. And the successful people, they want to want live from inside out.
KAGAN: And so, there are choices that we make for ourselves. And you're not just out there pointing fingers at people saying, Look at all the bad lives and bad choices. You had to make some decisions too.
COHEN: Oh, yes. Well, everything I to in here, I did myself. And I had painful relationships and financial fears and health scares. And one day, I realized this can't be it. And I figured if I haven't made it by being afraid by now, I may as well take another attitude.
KAGAN: And that led to a great book career and living in Hawaii.
COHEN: Yes, it works for me.
KAGAN: And that does not suck, let me tell you. Some tips you have for some people. You're talking -- you mentioned relationships. Get out of bad relationships.
COHEN: Yes. One of the chapters is "You Waste Your Energy on Things That Suck" and sometimes, bad relationships suck. And people have toxic relationships where it just gets worse and worse and worse. And I'm not counseling people just to run away. I'm saying to try to get different attitudes first, work with this from within the relationship out first. And if that's doesn't work, then you leave.
KAGAN: But realize -- and this is the one I think a lot of get stuck in -- you can't fix other people. You can just fix yourself.
COHEN: Oh, God. You know we spend so much time trying to change people who aren't ready to be changed. And it just backs up on you. If somebody is not ready or willing to be helped, you're not going to help them. So you may as well take your energy home and work on yourself first.
KAGAN: And one more quick one, enjoy the ride. So few of us do that. We're always looking what the next stop might be, but we don't enjoy where we are right now.
COHEN: Yes, you know, I was on CNET last week and when they lay off people, they have the custom of writing an e-mail to everyone in the company. And they'd say, "You know now that I'm laid off, I'm going to spend some time with my 2-year-old daughter. And I wish I would have done that when I was working."
KAGAN: Yes.
COHEN: Yes.
KAGAN: So remember where you are right now? Plenty of good stuff.
COHEN: If it isn't happening now, it isn't happening.
KAGAN: That is so true. Alan Cohen, "Why You Life" you knows what. Thanks for the tip and thanks for stopping by.
COHEN: My pleasure.
KAGAN: Enjoy your book tour.
COHEN: My pleasure.
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