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CNN Live Today

Interview With Child Advocate Gail Gross

Aired July 24, 2002 - 11:19   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
LEON HARRIS, CNN ANCHOR: You know, when all of the high-profile kidnapping cases and the headlines that we have been reporting here, and have been reported across the media, many parents were wondering just what to do to keep their kids safe. How do you warn children about dangers without frightening then unnecessarily? And how much should you tell them?

Well, joining us now from Denver to talk about that is child advocate and education expert, Gail Gross.

Thank you very much for your time today. We sure do appreciate it, Ms. Gross.

First of all, let me ask you this. Really, is there an age group that you shouldn't be talking with about these sorts of things? Because we have seen all of these stories, they have all been young children, 5, 6, 7, that sort of age.

GAIL GROSS, CHILD ADVOCATE: Well, you know, everything is age- appropriate. If we give information to children honestly and within the category of their own age, then it's important always to prepare them. That's what parenting is about. We have to teach our children, protect our children, and guide them through the mine fields, really, of childhood.

HARRIS: Yes, but see, and that's the tricky part. I mean, how do you tell an uneducated or a parent, say, who is not a professional in your field, what exactly is age-appropriate? Or how do you have an age-appropriate discussion? How do you teach a parent to do that?

GROSS: You know, little children, like 0 to about 10, are in a place we call concrete operations. They think in images very concretely. So if they were grabbed, we tell them in images to windmill, swim, rotate their hands so they are hard to grab, yell, scream, bite, anything they can do to make a lot of commotion, because you know, that intimidates the intimidator.

HARRIS: Yes. How about the next age group above say age 5 or 6?

GROSS: Well, even then, they are still in concrete operations. It's a good thing to put a little whistle around your children, partner with your school, so that all of these children are issued a little whistle. Blow that whistle if they can. We say Velcro, grab onto something, whether it's a bike or a tree -- it gives a whole new meaning to hug a tree -- or anything nearby. Yell "stranger," so that when that perpetrator comes near them, people know it's not their parent.

HARRIS: All right. As a matter of fact, we have jotted down some of these notes that you have given us. And then, I want to go to the next one, because the next screen I'm looking at here is you say a child -- if a child is thrown into a car, they should stick a pencil in the ignition or remove the wires in a trunk. Why that?

GROSS: An older child can have -- just like this little girl, Erica, an older child has more critical thinking, and that's about 10 up. And so that child can learn and be practiced and rehearsed at home so that if they're put in a trunk, they can take that panel off, know it's not dangerous to touch those wires, remove those wires. Then a policeman might stop if the lights are disengaged or the brake is disengaged. If they are thrown in the front seat, they can put bubble gum or a pencil even in the ignition. If they are thrown in the back seat or even in the front seat, they can open a door.

You know, the first choices of the first few seconds can save their lives. If we practice and rehearse our children vigilantly, and parent them in a very adult way...

HARRIS: Yes.

GROSS: ... that could save their lives, because they react in a very prepared way and they don't have to really think.

HARRIS: Well, let me ask you this one final question, Ms. Gross, because I have talked to a lot of parents, like at school and picking up my kids, and it seems like a lot of parents are afraid to even broach these kinds of topics with their kids. You know, a lot of parents may have -- I don't know -- misperceptions or their own perceptions about what a kid is able to handle without being afraid or without being scared to death of even watching the news or leaving the house in the first place. What should a parent know about what a child is actually able to process?

GROSS: You know, we have to approach this new world the way we did telling a child when they cross the street, stop, look and listen. As they get older, we give them sex information and education. And now, we have to give them abduction education. And we have to sit and give age-appropriate information, older children are more critical in their thinking, they can trust their intuition. If a car is driving nearby and slow, they can move away. They know not to talk to strangers and not to go to strangers and not to get into a car. If an adult asks for help to find a puppy or says your parent is dead, don't expect that that stranger has your best interests at heart. And define a stranger as an acquaintance, anybody that we don't know well.

So it's a whole new approach that we have to give our children about being polite to adults, and what is a stranger, a whole new communication.

HARRIS: Boy, I never dreamt there would be a day where that would be a sad thing to talk about like that. Boy, that you even to realize that you have to discuss these kind of things with your kids. Gail Gross, thank you very much.

GROSS: Thank you.

HARRIS: We appreciate your advice, and we sure hope parents who are listening this morning actually will take it to heart.

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