Return to Transcripts main page

CNN Live Today

Interview with Heather Kahn

Aired September 05, 2002 - 13:42   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

KYRA PHILLIPS, CNN ANCHOR: Well, the one year anniversary of the September 11 attacks will be known as Patriot Day. President Bush made the declaration yesterday. He wants Americans to remember and honor those who lost their lives and became the nation's heroes. The president is asking all Americans to mark Patriot Day with ceremonies, remembrance services, and candlelight vigils.
Well, with all of the television tributes concerning September 11, kids who watch TV are bound to have questions, and some parents might be caught off guard.

Joining us to talk about that, Heather Kahn of "Parenting" magazine -- good to see you again, Heather.

HEATHER KAHN, "PARENTING" MAGAZINE: Hi, Kyra. Good to be here.

PHILLIPS: Well, let's differentiate -- I understand we have two groups of kids we want to talk about. Kids who lost loved ones, and those who didn't but saw everything on the news.

We are talking about two different needs, right?

KAHN: That is right. Two very different needs. For most children in our country, fortunately, they witnessed this on television. They heard, you know, their parents. They saw their parents crying. It was a terrible day in their home, at their school. It was just awful, but they weren't there to see it. They are doing pretty well. Some of them, up to 5 or 6 years old, don't even know that September 11 ever happened last year. Their parents have managed to shelter them.

But for the group of children who suffered first hand, who perhaps lost a parent or who, Kyra, went to preschool nearby the World Trade Center, and upon being evacuated saw the second plane crash right into the World Trade Center, saw bodies falling from the sky, those children understandably, they are haunted today. There are studies that show six months after the event, the studies down in March, I believe, showed that these children, 15 percent of them, suffered nightmares. They couldn't even talk about the event.

PHILLIPS: Wow. I understand we are going to focus most of our discussion today on the amount of news coverage that the children did see. "Parenting" magazine, I guess, received several letters in the past year about 9/11 and how to help their kids out. I am going to read a sampling from one here, Heather, and get you to respond to this. This coming from Jeff in Ohio. "I used to go on business trips for ten days at a time every few weeks, but when I got stuck in Mexico City for three days after the attacks, I decided to switch jobs. Now I'm home for dinner every night, and have time to throw around a baseball with my girls and read to them, and I put them to bed. Before I'd call my family from a hotel room during dinner and leave my kids cassettes of me reading stories."

KAHN: Now, daddy want to be there, in bed, next to his children, reading stories. I guess the silver lining in all of this is that it has brought a lot of families closer together. It has perhaps made us appreciate each other more, and to realize how fragile life is. And even for some young children, I think you have another letter that is going to talk about how this child saw not the horror in it all, but the goodwill that came from 9/11.

PHILLIPS: That is right. This is Kendra Cohen (ph) from New York City. Here is the letter.

"The day after 9/11, I called the Red Cross to find out where to give blood. When my 5-year-old daughter, India, overheard and asked me about it, I explained that I was trying to help people in need. She saw so many examples of goodwill during those few weeks that she really learned the importance of helping others. In fact, we still can't walk by a firehouse without her wanting to stop in and thank the firefighters."

KAHN: And this is a good time for me to bring this point up. If you have young children at home and, obviously, September 11 is going to be wall to wall coverage. Maybe even more than last September 11. Remembering the event, moving on from the event, and if your child has a lot of questions -- I know I have a 6-year-old. Last year, she was 5. She didn't get it. This year, she is starting to ask questions. It is a good time to talk about goodwill. You don't have to tell them a lot of gory details, and by all means, don't let them watch a lot of unsettling, upsetting footage. You should try to protect young children from that.

But tell them it is a day to honor firefighters and heroes who helped out with all of the tragedy that day.

PHILLIPS: You know, I was reading that a lot of children, of course, want to know the details of experiences like this, and I was reading some of the questions. Did the people in the building, did it hurt really bad? Were they on fire? Did it take them a long time to die? I mean, gosh, such innocent questions, and such real questions from kids.

What about the degree of lingering trauma? I know there is a couple of points you have made about that.

KAHN: That is right. The degree of lingering trauma. That means, how upset is the child? How scarred are they, if you will, a year after the event, two years after the event?

And there are really three factors to look at: duration of the trauma. And this one, if you remember, everyday, we were watching, you know, the wreckage of the World Trade Center being, you know, just completely disassembled. And that took months and months. The duration was long.

The intensity, it is hard to think of anything worse for children who lived in New York of the intensity of this disaster.

And the directness of exposure, and that again is for a child who was directly exposed, who -- whether they lost a parent, whether they had a friend who lost a parent, whether they saw first hand, whether they knew somebody in the building. Those are the children that are most scarred.

But I can't stress enough, because obviously, most people watching today around the country were not in Washington, D.C. that day, or were not in New York City that day.

They are people who have children, who are probably dealing really well, and if they see their parents moving on in a positive way, then they will move on in a positive way, and if your child wants to talk about it, for a child who is of school age or for preteens, be there to talk to them about it. And be honest with them. They need to know that you are there, and this will help to open up the lines of communications in the future with your children.

PHILLIPS: So Heather, how do we prepare our kids for Wednesday, the one-year anniversary of September 11?

KAHN: You know, I was talking about some friends of young children, talking about this very topic, and I think it is a good idea, as do the psychologists that we interviewed at "Parenting" magazine to talk to your children about what is coming up.

Not 4-year-olds, perhaps not 5-year-olds, and certainly not toddlers, but if you have a child who is in preschool and above, you should mention to them that something is happening on September 11. It is a day, again, we are honoring firefighters who helped so valiantly in the tragedy, and we are remembering people who died in those burning buildings in New York City.

Inevitably, they will see, even if it is not on the news, they will see teases coming up when they are watching their kids' shows, and they will see those buildings and they will see that fire, and they will have questions.

PHILLIPS: Heather Kahn. "Parenting" magazine. Thanks for your thoughts, Heather.

KAHN: You are welcome.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com