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CNN Live Today

Interview with Dr. Nadine Kaslow

Aired September 06, 2002 - 10:27   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

DARYN KAGAN, CNN ANCHOR: As we approach the anniversary of September 11, a lot of parents are still trying to help their children cope with fears about terrorism. We have been taking your e-mails the last couple of days.
Joining us to talk about that and answer some of your questions, our medical correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta -- and why don't you introduce our guest, Sanjay?

DR. SANJAY GUPTA, CNN MEDICAL CORRESPONDENT: Right. Nadine Kaslow, child psychologist at Emory University.

And I tell you, one of the things we have been talking about a lot, a lot of people have been asking about -- especially with the anniversary coming up, about what is OK in terms of how kids are reacting, and you and I were talking about that.

DR. NADINE KASLOW, CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST: Sure. I think a broad range of reactions are OK and are normal. Some kids are very interested in this, want to talk about it, want to watch TV, have lots of questions. Maybe crying about it, other kids are saying I have had enough, I don't want to see that plane flying into that building one more time. That happened last year, I don't want to deal with it. And I think there is a broad array of reactions that are normal. They depend on the child's history, how closely connected they were to the events that occurred, their age and just their personality style.

KAGAN: So listen to your kids. We have a lot of e-mail coming in, so let's go ahead and get to them. This first e-mail coming from Sera in Washington, D.C.

She writes, "Like many American kids these days, my son worries that the 'bad guys' will hurt them. We can't pretend that the bad situation doesn't exist, since he hears people talking about it. How do you suggest calming the fears of children who have such a direct relationship to places in the news?"

She is in Washington, D.C., so clearly her son probably has had a chance to go by the Pentagon and see that big hole in the side.

KASLOW: Sure, and that is a very good question. I think what is really important is to give our children perspective on this, to acknowledge, yes, bad things do happen. There are some bad people in the world. To talk to them about that, and why that might be, but also to give them a perspective that most people are good, most people are kind, and that we are doing the best we can to protect our families, our children, and our country. GUPTA: Lots of e-mail questions, and one of the things coming up, obviously, is the remembrance and this next question is something along those lines.

"We live less than a mile away from the Pentagon. The plane flew directly over our house. Our daughter remembers it vividly. We have a chance to go to the one-year remembrance event at the Pentagon. Would it be helpful for her to see the reconstruction? She is now 5, and talks about it every time we drive by. We have to drive by it to get just about anywhere."

KASLOW: I think that if somebody is talking about it, it often is helpful to go to such an event. Rituals are very helpful to all of us with healing. But one of the things I think it is reasonable to do is to ask her whether or not she wants to go, and to talk to her about her thoughts. She can have some say and some control over this.

KAGAN: Debbie has a question about a slightly older child. She want so know about her 12-year-old.

And she writes, "Is it OK for my 12-year-old daughter not to show much concern over the events of September 11? Even on that day, she showed little concern. Could this be her way of dealing with it?"

KASLOW: Yes, I think absolutely. There is a group of children as well as adults who didn't appear to show that much concern. That doesn't mean they are not feeling it. They may have been so overwhelmed with the images and the pain that they shut down some.

GUPTA: One of the things that strikes me is a lot of kids are dealing with this very differently. We had a chance to actually go to one of the schools around here and talk to kids specifically about what they were experiencing, and some of their remarks were pretty poignant. Let's listen to one of them now.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED CHILD: I think he should, like, open his eyes and be like, Oh, my God, I've done something terrible, and now -- soon I'm going to die because these people want me dead.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUPTA: She is talking about Osama bin Laden. You know, she is young, young kids like that talking about the fact that they want to see someone dead, as tragic as the situation may be, is that OK?

KASLOW: I was really struck, talking to the children at the school, how much they know, how much they understand. How many questions they have, and how many very thoughtful reflections they have. And absolutely, it's OK. It is all over the news, and they have concerns and they want to talk about them. And they are angry and they are frightened.

PHILLIPS: All right. And one more from a teacher in Charlotte, and she has a question as a teacher, "How do I handle the issue with my classes?" She teaches middle school, so I guess 6th, 7th, 8th grade.

KASLOW: Well, one of the things that I discovered talking to the children at the school is that they asked, could I come back next week and talk about this more? That they really relish the opportunity to be able to discuss this. But I think teachers need to appreciate that some kids are going to want to talk about it, and other kids are not going to want it talk about it, and there needs to be flexibility in the classroom around that.

KAGAN: Just like adults. We all have different ways of dealing with it and how much we really want to watch on September 11. Dr. Nadine Kaslow, thank you so much. Sanjay, thank you as always.

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