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CNN Live Today

Widow of New York Firefighter Discusses Work Helping Others

Aired September 10, 2002 - 11:26   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


ANDERSON COOPER, CNN ANCHOR: Some of those who lost loved ones on September 11 managed to channel their anguish into activism. David Fontana was one of 343 heroic firefighters who died at the World Trade Center. September 11 was his eighth wedding anniversary.
In the midst of her grief, his wife, Marian, founded the 9/11 Widows and Victims Family Association.

Marian Fontana joins us from New York this morning. We are very pleased to have you here. Thanks for being with us.

MARIAN FONTANA, WIDOW OF NEW YORK FIREFIGHTER: Thank you for having me.

COOPER: Mariane, I think all of us are trying to figure out how to deal with tomorrow, how to memorialize those that lost their lives, how to remember what happened. What do you tell people, what do you recommend people do tomorrow?

FONTANA: Well, I certainly -- it is my anniversary, so I am choosing to do a quieter grieving process. I have been grief publicly all year, so I ready to just be with my family and the firefighters from my husband's house.

But I think it is important. The reason why I am here today is really to talk about not just the people who were lost, but the survivors, the firefighters, who are really struggling, not just emotionally, but financially. They've been two years without a contract. A beginning firefighter makes less than $30,000 a year, and so I am here to let people know we really need to get behind our firefighters and make sure our firefighters and police get the salaries they deserve.

COOPER: Is that what the organization is focusing on now? You were instrumental in recovery efforts, you were working on the redevelopment of downtown. Are you focusing now on the firefighters and their contract negotiations?

FONTANA: Well, that -- yes, we are working on a lot issues. We are also trying to give back. We are holding an event called Stars, Stripes and (UNINTELLIGIBLE) on Madison Square Garden on September 20, at 8:00 p.m., and we hope to raise funds for any terrorist attacks so that the generosity that the families from 9/11 had will be possible for any future -- God forbid -- any future attacks.

So we are trying to do some positive things. One of them is trying to get the firemen the salaries that they deserve. We also want to have a powerful voice in what goes down at ground zero, since so many people were not found; it is the final resting place for so many people, and we really want to make sure what is built there is poignant.

COOPER: Mariane, you are a freelance writer and you wrote in "Parenting" magazine recently that was really very moving. You wrote in back in September. I just want to read a line from it: You said that you and your 6-year-old son, Aden, that you continue to stumble down this road together, we improvise our new life learning how to live with a hole left in our hearts.

How has the last year been for you?

FONTANA: Well, it's definitely been the worst year of my life. And at the same time, it's been incredibly fast in a lot of ways, but also the longest. It's been incredibly painful for so many, and not just myself. But grieving is not linear; it comes in little bits and pieces, as I wrote in that article. My son can go months without talking about Dave, and then, just last night, asking me why he died and why can't I see him anymore.

So I think this is a long process that are going to be going through, and a long painful one. And unfortunately, I have a lot of company with me, but that also helps, to have a lot of widows and family members to hold me up. We hold each other up and try to get through.

COOPER: You know, the last hour we were talking about faith and how this event has affected a lot of people's faith. How it has it affected your faith?

FONTANA: It really shook my faith. I considered myself a spiritual person -- I do not attend church every week, but I certainly spoke to God. And I find myself not really speaking to God anymore as much as speaking to Dave. I know he is in Heaven, I know he's in a better place. But I really feel like I speak to him instead of God.

I also, that being said, I feel that all of that hate that was present on September 11 was met with such incredible generosity. I am still receiving cards from people around the country, and I am so grateful, because I feel like it really helped me get through the year and made this painful and tragic loss bearable.

COOPER: Mariane, we appreciate you taking the time to speak with us today.

FONTANA: Thank you.

COOPER: And we wish you a lot of luck tomorrow. And I hope you have a peaceful day with your son and with your family.

FONTANA: Thank you for having me.

COOPER: Thank you.

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