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American Morning

Calming Influence

Aired February 10, 2003 - 09:42   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


PAULA ZAHN, CNN ANCHOR: Listen up parents, you've got questions, he's got the answers. He is one of America's favorite pediatricians, Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, and he's going to be with us all this week, offering advice on some of the most common problems that parents face. In his new book, "Calming Your Fussy Baby," it's part of a three-book series designated for parents of infants and toddlers, and I asked him, what parents can do when all the old tricks for soothing a child have failed.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

DR. T. BERRY BRAZELTON, AUTHOR, "CALMING YOUR BABY": I think then you pick the baby up, and just say, you and I have to settle down together, and when you settle down, and yes, what I'd like to do is say -- is start singing louder than the baby. And then as the baby quiets, then you bring your voice down with him and you sing, and you rock.

ZAHN: You're going to put me to sleep, listening to you.

BRAZELTON: Calm you down.

ZAHN: Where were you when all three of my fussy babies would never go to sleep?

So what do you think of furburizing (ph) the baby, which is walking away from them, and teaching them you're not going to pick them up every time they cry in the crib?

BRAZELTON: I think there are two things I'd add to that. One is the parents' side of it. People don't walk away from a baby these days, and the baby doesn't learn anything when you walk away from them. But people don't walk away unless there's desperate.

Why are they desperate? Because they're working all day and they come home to this baby. They want to be with that baby. So I would say, be with the baby.

But what your job is, is to teach that baby to calm themselves, and it means a separation of a kind, but that's what you're after. If that baby can calm himself or calm herself, she's got it made for the rest of her life.

ZAHN: Let's move on to toddlerdom. There is nothing more frustrating for a parent than the whining stage. How do you stop it?

BRAZELTON: Well, first of all, I try to see what they were whining about. Are they really whining just to get your attention, or are they whining because they're unhappy? Right now, with all of the misery that we're seeing around us, the war, the shuttle explosion and so forth, I think kids are going to do a lot of whining, because they know their parents are upset.

The best thing to do for whining is to say, you know, I can't help you when you whine like that, and turn your back and walk away. And they look at you like, you aren't paying any attention, this is an important thing I'm trying to tell.

ZAHN: This isn't working.

BRAZELTON: This isn't working.

And then they learn that there are other ways to communicate, and I would go right back as soon as they quiet and pick them up, and say, now let's talk.

ZAHN: The other challenge parents face is when there's any disruption in the normal family schedule. How do you change a schedule without making everybody go nuts?

BRAZELTON: Well, expect everybody to go nuts. I call it a touch point, because you know that the child is going to regress. You're going to regress with them. So just plan for it, and then help the child understand why they're regressing, and then you begin to make progress again.

You know, I think right now, with the Columbia thing, that kids are going to be a lot more upset than any of us expect. Children take it personally. They say, were these bad mommies and daddies? Were they bad kids? Was it a bad president that sent them up into the -- and let them get blown up like that? And they take it very personally. So parents need to sit down with them and say, you know, I understand how you feel, I feel that way too, and share your natural anxiety with them, and expect them to go back to whining, to whatever they did just before this, and expect it to be a regression.

ZAHN: Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, too bad you can't be in all of our homes, as we're wrestling with all of these challenges.

BRAZELTON: Well, I am, thanks to you, Paula.

ZAHN: Today you are.

BRAZELTON: That's right.

ZAHN: Take care. Good to see you again.

BRAZELTON: Thank you.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com







Aired February 10, 2003 - 09:42   ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
PAULA ZAHN, CNN ANCHOR: Listen up parents, you've got questions, he's got the answers. He is one of America's favorite pediatricians, Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, and he's going to be with us all this week, offering advice on some of the most common problems that parents face. In his new book, "Calming Your Fussy Baby," it's part of a three-book series designated for parents of infants and toddlers, and I asked him, what parents can do when all the old tricks for soothing a child have failed.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

DR. T. BERRY BRAZELTON, AUTHOR, "CALMING YOUR BABY": I think then you pick the baby up, and just say, you and I have to settle down together, and when you settle down, and yes, what I'd like to do is say -- is start singing louder than the baby. And then as the baby quiets, then you bring your voice down with him and you sing, and you rock.

ZAHN: You're going to put me to sleep, listening to you.

BRAZELTON: Calm you down.

ZAHN: Where were you when all three of my fussy babies would never go to sleep?

So what do you think of furburizing (ph) the baby, which is walking away from them, and teaching them you're not going to pick them up every time they cry in the crib?

BRAZELTON: I think there are two things I'd add to that. One is the parents' side of it. People don't walk away from a baby these days, and the baby doesn't learn anything when you walk away from them. But people don't walk away unless there's desperate.

Why are they desperate? Because they're working all day and they come home to this baby. They want to be with that baby. So I would say, be with the baby.

But what your job is, is to teach that baby to calm themselves, and it means a separation of a kind, but that's what you're after. If that baby can calm himself or calm herself, she's got it made for the rest of her life.

ZAHN: Let's move on to toddlerdom. There is nothing more frustrating for a parent than the whining stage. How do you stop it?

BRAZELTON: Well, first of all, I try to see what they were whining about. Are they really whining just to get your attention, or are they whining because they're unhappy? Right now, with all of the misery that we're seeing around us, the war, the shuttle explosion and so forth, I think kids are going to do a lot of whining, because they know their parents are upset.

The best thing to do for whining is to say, you know, I can't help you when you whine like that, and turn your back and walk away. And they look at you like, you aren't paying any attention, this is an important thing I'm trying to tell.

ZAHN: This isn't working.

BRAZELTON: This isn't working.

And then they learn that there are other ways to communicate, and I would go right back as soon as they quiet and pick them up, and say, now let's talk.

ZAHN: The other challenge parents face is when there's any disruption in the normal family schedule. How do you change a schedule without making everybody go nuts?

BRAZELTON: Well, expect everybody to go nuts. I call it a touch point, because you know that the child is going to regress. You're going to regress with them. So just plan for it, and then help the child understand why they're regressing, and then you begin to make progress again.

You know, I think right now, with the Columbia thing, that kids are going to be a lot more upset than any of us expect. Children take it personally. They say, were these bad mommies and daddies? Were they bad kids? Was it a bad president that sent them up into the -- and let them get blown up like that? And they take it very personally. So parents need to sit down with them and say, you know, I understand how you feel, I feel that way too, and share your natural anxiety with them, and expect them to go back to whining, to whatever they did just before this, and expect it to be a regression.

ZAHN: Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, too bad you can't be in all of our homes, as we're wrestling with all of these challenges.

BRAZELTON: Well, I am, thanks to you, Paula.

ZAHN: Today you are.

BRAZELTON: That's right.

ZAHN: Take care. Good to see you again.

BRAZELTON: Thank you.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com