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American Morning

Are Kids Today Overworked?

Aired September 01, 2003 - 07:40   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


SOLDEAD O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: Millions of American children across the northeast go back to school tomorrow, joining kids in other areas who are already in their classrooms.
That might not take long for those - lots of those - kids to be stretched too thin with homework or activities. According to a poll in this month's "Parenting" magazine, 86 percent of the parents surveyed think today's kids are overscheduled. But, only 34 percent believe that their child is overbooked.

Why the disconnect? I spoke about that recently with Denene Millner of "Parenting" magazine.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

DENENE MILLNER, PARENTING MAGAZINE: Everybody looks at Johnny and says oh; he has football, basketball, baseball, soccer...

O'BRIEN: Too much.

MILLNER: Too much, but can I get my kid into one of those?

O'BRIEN: So you think it's pushy parents, basically, that are responsible for overscheduled kids?

MILLNER: I don't know if it's so much pushy as you wanting the best for your child and so you want to get them into the things that you think will enrich them culturally, educationally and so you tend to put them into things that you think will fulfill that. And sometimes it over - you overdo it.

O'BRIEN: Is there a rule of thumb about how much is too much? I mean, OK, how do you know if my kid is in too many little after school or after playgroup classes?

MILLNER: Well, what you might realize in more extreme cases is they start getting headaches and stomachaches or just getting physically ill. And in less severe cases, they might just rebel.

When you pull out the shin guards for soccer practice they may just go into a frenzy and just decide that they're not going to cooperate right now. My daughter is good for that. If she doesn't want to do something, she will let you know.

O'BRIEN: So you basically say it's not a problem unless your kid starts rebelling?

MILLNER: Right, but I mean you're the adult here, you're the parent, and so you should take steps to make sure that you're not putting them in the position where they have to tell you, look, Mom this is too much for me.

O'BRIEN: I know that you feel that downtime in a child's life is very important. First, why do you think it's so important and, I mean, I get overall why it's important, but why is, like, a scheduled chunk of time during the day really, really important?

I don't remember my parents giving me chunks of scheduled time to do nothing.

MILLNER: Because I think that when we were little we didn't have parents who were sending us to 40 different things during the course of the week. We got to go outside and get on our bicycles and ride down the street, play at the local pool, and play kickball and soccer in the street.

It wasn't organized. And that was a time when we got to imagine and got to come up with things.

My daughter is really good, she - we took her to the beach and she picked a rock, she named it Rocky, and she's been carrying Rocky around for the last week. She's four. Four going on forty. But she - you know - it gives her a chance to imagine what it's like to have this imaginary friend even if it is a rock...

O'BRIEN: If you don't have that scheduled time that you don't - you basically saying you don't allow your child to sort of to have a fertile imagination.

MILLNER: Absolutely.

O'BRIEN: All right, so, if your kid, though, has sports and then Boy Scouts and then as you say - ballet - and then you know this, that, and the other. How do you - and you know it is too much? And they're rebelling. How do you decide what they should do and what they shouldn't do? I mean, how do you pick?

MILLNER: Whatever it is that they like is what you should stick to.

O'BRIEN: Oh, come on...

MILLNER: (UNINTELLIGIBLE)

O'BRIEN: My parents never let me quit. Isn't there a value every so often in saying you know what, I'm sorry, but you committed to doing gymnastics and we're going to see it out at least through the school year.

MILLNER: Sure, and that's fine. But you can't sign them up for gymnastics class again, or sign them up into something that's very much similar to that like karate or ballet. Maybe it's just not their thing. Listen to your children; they're going to tell you. I don't like ballet class.

I've had friends who put their kids in ballet class way too early and they hated it, they would go in, they would cry, they would scream, mom wasn't allowed in the room. And there was nothing that you could do.

You paid all this money but listen to your child. She doesn't want to be there - let her stay home on Saturday and you know play, put her fingers in some paint and paint you something and put it up on the wall so that you can admire it later next week.

O'BRIEN: Why do you think we as parents overscheduled our kids? Do you think it's a working parent guilt thing, do you think it's just that these days it's just not as safe in our neighborhoods as it was when we were growing up?

MILLNER: I think it's a combination of all of those things. We have two parent working families that go out and they work all day and into the night. They come home with their laptops and they need to work some more and they squeeze in an hour to sit down and choke down a meal and then go and get a bath and read a book and put them into bed.

And you just feel completely guilty, like you had nothing to do with this child's day. And so let me figure out how I can be more proactive in getting them that culture, that education, and so you put them into a bunch of different things instead of interacting with them yourself.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

O'BRIEN: Well, it is often difficult to find the time to breathe these days so the experts at "Parenting" magazine offer the following suggestions for parents.

They say give kids your full attention for at least a half an hour when you get home, and also bring your kids into the kitchen and spend a little time helping with dinner and that's a good way to spend time with them.

For weekends, unplug the phone; turn off the TV, set regular times for meals. All really, really good advice that now I'm trying to do as well.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com







Aired September 1, 2003 - 07:40   ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
SOLDEAD O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: Millions of American children across the northeast go back to school tomorrow, joining kids in other areas who are already in their classrooms.
That might not take long for those - lots of those - kids to be stretched too thin with homework or activities. According to a poll in this month's "Parenting" magazine, 86 percent of the parents surveyed think today's kids are overscheduled. But, only 34 percent believe that their child is overbooked.

Why the disconnect? I spoke about that recently with Denene Millner of "Parenting" magazine.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

DENENE MILLNER, PARENTING MAGAZINE: Everybody looks at Johnny and says oh; he has football, basketball, baseball, soccer...

O'BRIEN: Too much.

MILLNER: Too much, but can I get my kid into one of those?

O'BRIEN: So you think it's pushy parents, basically, that are responsible for overscheduled kids?

MILLNER: I don't know if it's so much pushy as you wanting the best for your child and so you want to get them into the things that you think will enrich them culturally, educationally and so you tend to put them into things that you think will fulfill that. And sometimes it over - you overdo it.

O'BRIEN: Is there a rule of thumb about how much is too much? I mean, OK, how do you know if my kid is in too many little after school or after playgroup classes?

MILLNER: Well, what you might realize in more extreme cases is they start getting headaches and stomachaches or just getting physically ill. And in less severe cases, they might just rebel.

When you pull out the shin guards for soccer practice they may just go into a frenzy and just decide that they're not going to cooperate right now. My daughter is good for that. If she doesn't want to do something, she will let you know.

O'BRIEN: So you basically say it's not a problem unless your kid starts rebelling?

MILLNER: Right, but I mean you're the adult here, you're the parent, and so you should take steps to make sure that you're not putting them in the position where they have to tell you, look, Mom this is too much for me.

O'BRIEN: I know that you feel that downtime in a child's life is very important. First, why do you think it's so important and, I mean, I get overall why it's important, but why is, like, a scheduled chunk of time during the day really, really important?

I don't remember my parents giving me chunks of scheduled time to do nothing.

MILLNER: Because I think that when we were little we didn't have parents who were sending us to 40 different things during the course of the week. We got to go outside and get on our bicycles and ride down the street, play at the local pool, and play kickball and soccer in the street.

It wasn't organized. And that was a time when we got to imagine and got to come up with things.

My daughter is really good, she - we took her to the beach and she picked a rock, she named it Rocky, and she's been carrying Rocky around for the last week. She's four. Four going on forty. But she - you know - it gives her a chance to imagine what it's like to have this imaginary friend even if it is a rock...

O'BRIEN: If you don't have that scheduled time that you don't - you basically saying you don't allow your child to sort of to have a fertile imagination.

MILLNER: Absolutely.

O'BRIEN: All right, so, if your kid, though, has sports and then Boy Scouts and then as you say - ballet - and then you know this, that, and the other. How do you - and you know it is too much? And they're rebelling. How do you decide what they should do and what they shouldn't do? I mean, how do you pick?

MILLNER: Whatever it is that they like is what you should stick to.

O'BRIEN: Oh, come on...

MILLNER: (UNINTELLIGIBLE)

O'BRIEN: My parents never let me quit. Isn't there a value every so often in saying you know what, I'm sorry, but you committed to doing gymnastics and we're going to see it out at least through the school year.

MILLNER: Sure, and that's fine. But you can't sign them up for gymnastics class again, or sign them up into something that's very much similar to that like karate or ballet. Maybe it's just not their thing. Listen to your children; they're going to tell you. I don't like ballet class.

I've had friends who put their kids in ballet class way too early and they hated it, they would go in, they would cry, they would scream, mom wasn't allowed in the room. And there was nothing that you could do.

You paid all this money but listen to your child. She doesn't want to be there - let her stay home on Saturday and you know play, put her fingers in some paint and paint you something and put it up on the wall so that you can admire it later next week.

O'BRIEN: Why do you think we as parents overscheduled our kids? Do you think it's a working parent guilt thing, do you think it's just that these days it's just not as safe in our neighborhoods as it was when we were growing up?

MILLNER: I think it's a combination of all of those things. We have two parent working families that go out and they work all day and into the night. They come home with their laptops and they need to work some more and they squeeze in an hour to sit down and choke down a meal and then go and get a bath and read a book and put them into bed.

And you just feel completely guilty, like you had nothing to do with this child's day. And so let me figure out how I can be more proactive in getting them that culture, that education, and so you put them into a bunch of different things instead of interacting with them yourself.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

O'BRIEN: Well, it is often difficult to find the time to breathe these days so the experts at "Parenting" magazine offer the following suggestions for parents.

They say give kids your full attention for at least a half an hour when you get home, and also bring your kids into the kitchen and spend a little time helping with dinner and that's a good way to spend time with them.

For weekends, unplug the phone; turn off the TV, set regular times for meals. All really, really good advice that now I'm trying to do as well.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com