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American Morning

Intimate Portrait

Aired November 04, 2003 - 09:50   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


SOLEDAD O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: It's a fitting tribute to a legendary woman of letters. The daughter of the late Ann Landers published a memoir made up of the letters that the world-renowned columnist wrote when she needed some personal advice. It's called "A Life in Letters: Ann Landers Letters to Her Only Child." And that child, Margo Howard, joins us this morning.
It's nice to have you.

Lots of personal revelations in this book. What would your mother say if she knew -- if she were alive to read it? Or would you never have written in if she were alive?

MARGO HOWARD, "A LIFE IN LETTERS": I haven't the faintest idea. The woman who was closest to her in her office said it gives her one last dance on the stage, and it shows her as a mother, and a friend and a wife and a newspaper woman. And it almost has a novelistic arc, because it goes for 44 years.

O'BRIEN: What did you learn about your mother? When you sit down and read a bunch of letters together, you really do sort of get the story of someone's life over a long time. What did you learn about your mother as a person and not sort of as the mother who raised you?

HOWARD: You are right about reading letters as a continuum. The letters struck me entirely differently when I was putting the book together. And one thing I learned was that she really was giving me more advice than I ever dreamed. People would say to me, does your mother give you advice? I would say, no, she's very sparing with it, she wanted to keep me separate from the work. And then when I started to read the letters, I thought, my God, almost every letter, there is a suggestion, there is something she'd like knee do.

O'BRIEN: She thought the cumulative effect to it overall kind of helped you out. She asked for a lot of advice in her letters too.

HOWARD: She did ask me. When I was a grownup, she would ask me occasionally what do you think I should do, how shall I do this, is this the right decision?

O'BRIEN: You reveal your mother's affair with a married man in this book, after she got divorced from your father, which was something she revealed in her column. Let's talk about those two things. Why would you go ahead and something so personal in such a public manner? HOWARD: Well, I'll tell you, I wanted the book to be honest, and that was a big part of her life after my father. That went on for a couple years. She was in her late 50s, however. She'd been married for 36 years. And truth be told, a lot of my younger girlfriends divorced and widowed did a turn with a married man. I think in this day and age, it's not such a big deal, you know, terrible thing. She knew that it wasn't a good thing to do, and ultimately, she ended it, because it didn't go where she wanted it to go and she felt she could not continue. I think it's interesting.

O'BRIEN: It's interesting to read her -- how she sort of goes back and forth in her letters about the right thing to do for herself, what to do about the affair. When she ended -- when the marriage with your father ended, she went public with it in her column.

HOWARD: She really had to. We talked about. She said I cannot have a lawyer announce it the way the Rockefellers did, because of my work and my readers, and she read that letter to me. I went to her house on a Saturday, and she said, I want you to listen to something. And she read me the, we are divorcing column. I was weeping. And she said, shall I run it?

O'BRIEN: Did you know? I mean, you knew.

HOWARD: I knew before she did. And...

O'BRIEN: You didn't want her to run it?

HOWARD: No, no, I did. I said, it's fine. She said, all right. Daddy and I thought if we could get it by you, that it was fine. People to this day -- and I am 63 years old. People still come up to me and say, I remember that column, how moved I was, and I remember the white space. And it was a very famous column.

O'BRIEN: Big dispute between your mother and her twin sister. Has that continued on? I know that when your cousin, the daughter of "Dear Abby," as those of us who are readers know her, sort of created a memorial for your mother who did not want memorial at all, made it very clear. It was completely against her wishes.

HOWARD: Nobody created a memorial.

O'BRIEN: She wrote a memorial column.

HOWARD: Oh, yes, I see what you mean. Yes. Well, that's what she did.

O'BRIEN: Have you buried the hatchet at all?

HOWARD: There is no hatchet to bury. I'm out of that discussion.

O'BRIEN: All right. Well, the book is a very, very interesting read. Margo Howard, thanks for joining us this morning. Nice to have you.

HOWARD: Thanks, dear.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com







Aired November 4, 2003 - 09:50   ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
SOLEDAD O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: It's a fitting tribute to a legendary woman of letters. The daughter of the late Ann Landers published a memoir made up of the letters that the world-renowned columnist wrote when she needed some personal advice. It's called "A Life in Letters: Ann Landers Letters to Her Only Child." And that child, Margo Howard, joins us this morning.
It's nice to have you.

Lots of personal revelations in this book. What would your mother say if she knew -- if she were alive to read it? Or would you never have written in if she were alive?

MARGO HOWARD, "A LIFE IN LETTERS": I haven't the faintest idea. The woman who was closest to her in her office said it gives her one last dance on the stage, and it shows her as a mother, and a friend and a wife and a newspaper woman. And it almost has a novelistic arc, because it goes for 44 years.

O'BRIEN: What did you learn about your mother? When you sit down and read a bunch of letters together, you really do sort of get the story of someone's life over a long time. What did you learn about your mother as a person and not sort of as the mother who raised you?

HOWARD: You are right about reading letters as a continuum. The letters struck me entirely differently when I was putting the book together. And one thing I learned was that she really was giving me more advice than I ever dreamed. People would say to me, does your mother give you advice? I would say, no, she's very sparing with it, she wanted to keep me separate from the work. And then when I started to read the letters, I thought, my God, almost every letter, there is a suggestion, there is something she'd like knee do.

O'BRIEN: She thought the cumulative effect to it overall kind of helped you out. She asked for a lot of advice in her letters too.

HOWARD: She did ask me. When I was a grownup, she would ask me occasionally what do you think I should do, how shall I do this, is this the right decision?

O'BRIEN: You reveal your mother's affair with a married man in this book, after she got divorced from your father, which was something she revealed in her column. Let's talk about those two things. Why would you go ahead and something so personal in such a public manner? HOWARD: Well, I'll tell you, I wanted the book to be honest, and that was a big part of her life after my father. That went on for a couple years. She was in her late 50s, however. She'd been married for 36 years. And truth be told, a lot of my younger girlfriends divorced and widowed did a turn with a married man. I think in this day and age, it's not such a big deal, you know, terrible thing. She knew that it wasn't a good thing to do, and ultimately, she ended it, because it didn't go where she wanted it to go and she felt she could not continue. I think it's interesting.

O'BRIEN: It's interesting to read her -- how she sort of goes back and forth in her letters about the right thing to do for herself, what to do about the affair. When she ended -- when the marriage with your father ended, she went public with it in her column.

HOWARD: She really had to. We talked about. She said I cannot have a lawyer announce it the way the Rockefellers did, because of my work and my readers, and she read that letter to me. I went to her house on a Saturday, and she said, I want you to listen to something. And she read me the, we are divorcing column. I was weeping. And she said, shall I run it?

O'BRIEN: Did you know? I mean, you knew.

HOWARD: I knew before she did. And...

O'BRIEN: You didn't want her to run it?

HOWARD: No, no, I did. I said, it's fine. She said, all right. Daddy and I thought if we could get it by you, that it was fine. People to this day -- and I am 63 years old. People still come up to me and say, I remember that column, how moved I was, and I remember the white space. And it was a very famous column.

O'BRIEN: Big dispute between your mother and her twin sister. Has that continued on? I know that when your cousin, the daughter of "Dear Abby," as those of us who are readers know her, sort of created a memorial for your mother who did not want memorial at all, made it very clear. It was completely against her wishes.

HOWARD: Nobody created a memorial.

O'BRIEN: She wrote a memorial column.

HOWARD: Oh, yes, I see what you mean. Yes. Well, that's what she did.

O'BRIEN: Have you buried the hatchet at all?

HOWARD: There is no hatchet to bury. I'm out of that discussion.

O'BRIEN: All right. Well, the book is a very, very interesting read. Margo Howard, thanks for joining us this morning. Nice to have you.

HOWARD: Thanks, dear.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com