Return to Transcripts main page

American Morning

The Art of Regifting

Aired December 26, 2003 - 09:22   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


DR. SANJAY GUPTA, CNN ANCHOR: Well you won't find it in Webster's, but you don't need a dictionary to define the art of regifting. So how rude is it to take an unwanted gift and pass it along to another giftee as an original? Lots of people are thinking that question today, are asking that question after receiving gifts over the past couple of days.
And Randy Cohen is just the man to help us answer it.

So is regifting, as an ethicist, is it an unethical thing to do?

RANDY COHEN, "NEW YORK TIMES" MAGAZINE: No, I think it's a fine thing do, and the ultimate ethical reason is that it spreads joy, that by passing along something you yourself don't want. That I, for instance, I'm not an opera fan, and if I receive another copy of "La Traviata (ph)" this year, rather than having it sit on the shelf, I can give it to the person who will genuinely enjoy it.

GUPTA: So it's good for the person who gets the gift and gives it to someone else, but what about the person who gave the gift originally, if they find out that, in fact, their gift was given to someone else?

COHEN: Right, it may hurt their feelings, and it's a case where enormous tact is required, that you have to make sure that the person who sent you the gift doesn't know you're doing this, and the person who receives it doesn't want to feel that they're getting a pass-along present, but something from the heart. I think that's quite right.

GUPTA: Two questions out of that. How do you keep the person who gave you the gift from ever finding out about it?

COHEN: Right, It's the "I Love Lucy Problem," my wealthy aunt who's given me the ugly vase is coming over for dinner? What will we do? We'll have to go get another ugly vase. Yes, or they come over to your house and go, let's put on "La Traviata." That's a risk, and you have to be mindful of that when you pass a gift along. That's true.

GUPTA: So you have to try and use your own strategies so they don't find out?

COHEN: Yes.

GUPTA: If you are found out, though, because this is the thing I'm worried about.

COHEN: You've been caught?

GUPTA: I've been caught.

COHEN: That's terrible.

GUPTA: I'm not saying I have been, but if I did get -- but I don't regift, which I'll talk about in a moment, but let's say I did, and I got caught.

COHEN: Apologize immediately, and say what you were doing, that you acted only from benign motives, that your motives were to make as many people happy as you could, and that's a lovely thing.

GUPTA: You think that will work?

COHEN: No, it won't, not a chance. You'll hurt their feelings if you know, so you really have to be tactful.

The other guideline is the more intimate the gift, the more reluctant it should be to pass it along. If it's a gift from your boss at work. Does your boss give you anything? Should your boss give you something, that's kind of an impersonal, business-related gift, that, pass along with a clear conscience. But if it's something quite intimate and personal, you might want to think twice about passing that along. There's nothing more heartbreaking than going to a bookstore and finding an ascribed book, you know, "To my beloved, I will think you of forever, you will always be in heart," and it's dated like 2002. I weep.

GUPTA: But some people just consider it cheap, though. I mean, some people say I'm going to save a buck by taking a gift that someone gave me and regifting it. Is it considered cheap?

COHEN: It might be, yes. But I think if your motive is to save a buck, look deep into your heart. That's not so great. But I think it's a benign thing, that why should a gift you will not use that will give you no pleasure sit in your house? And you know, today is considered to be the biggest shopping day of the year. I put shopping in quotation marks, don't you? I think a lot of that shopping is a lot of exchanging.

COHEN: Returning and exchanging, yes. So ethicists have lines. Where is your line in terms of gifts that you absolutely should not regift?

COHEN: Something truly intimate and truly personal. The more genuine feeling that's conveyed by the gift, the more it comes from someone's heart to my heart, that's something I would be very reluctant to pass on to another person, because it's that intimate. The more impersonal the gift is, give it to someone who will enjoy it. Everyone's happy.

GUPTA: Are you going to do that this year at in all?

COHEN: Like anyone gave me anything.

GUPTA: Randy Cohen, the ethicist from "New York Times" magazine.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com







Aired December 26, 2003 - 09:22   ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
DR. SANJAY GUPTA, CNN ANCHOR: Well you won't find it in Webster's, but you don't need a dictionary to define the art of regifting. So how rude is it to take an unwanted gift and pass it along to another giftee as an original? Lots of people are thinking that question today, are asking that question after receiving gifts over the past couple of days.
And Randy Cohen is just the man to help us answer it.

So is regifting, as an ethicist, is it an unethical thing to do?

RANDY COHEN, "NEW YORK TIMES" MAGAZINE: No, I think it's a fine thing do, and the ultimate ethical reason is that it spreads joy, that by passing along something you yourself don't want. That I, for instance, I'm not an opera fan, and if I receive another copy of "La Traviata (ph)" this year, rather than having it sit on the shelf, I can give it to the person who will genuinely enjoy it.

GUPTA: So it's good for the person who gets the gift and gives it to someone else, but what about the person who gave the gift originally, if they find out that, in fact, their gift was given to someone else?

COHEN: Right, it may hurt their feelings, and it's a case where enormous tact is required, that you have to make sure that the person who sent you the gift doesn't know you're doing this, and the person who receives it doesn't want to feel that they're getting a pass-along present, but something from the heart. I think that's quite right.

GUPTA: Two questions out of that. How do you keep the person who gave you the gift from ever finding out about it?

COHEN: Right, It's the "I Love Lucy Problem," my wealthy aunt who's given me the ugly vase is coming over for dinner? What will we do? We'll have to go get another ugly vase. Yes, or they come over to your house and go, let's put on "La Traviata." That's a risk, and you have to be mindful of that when you pass a gift along. That's true.

GUPTA: So you have to try and use your own strategies so they don't find out?

COHEN: Yes.

GUPTA: If you are found out, though, because this is the thing I'm worried about.

COHEN: You've been caught?

GUPTA: I've been caught.

COHEN: That's terrible.

GUPTA: I'm not saying I have been, but if I did get -- but I don't regift, which I'll talk about in a moment, but let's say I did, and I got caught.

COHEN: Apologize immediately, and say what you were doing, that you acted only from benign motives, that your motives were to make as many people happy as you could, and that's a lovely thing.

GUPTA: You think that will work?

COHEN: No, it won't, not a chance. You'll hurt their feelings if you know, so you really have to be tactful.

The other guideline is the more intimate the gift, the more reluctant it should be to pass it along. If it's a gift from your boss at work. Does your boss give you anything? Should your boss give you something, that's kind of an impersonal, business-related gift, that, pass along with a clear conscience. But if it's something quite intimate and personal, you might want to think twice about passing that along. There's nothing more heartbreaking than going to a bookstore and finding an ascribed book, you know, "To my beloved, I will think you of forever, you will always be in heart," and it's dated like 2002. I weep.

GUPTA: But some people just consider it cheap, though. I mean, some people say I'm going to save a buck by taking a gift that someone gave me and regifting it. Is it considered cheap?

COHEN: It might be, yes. But I think if your motive is to save a buck, look deep into your heart. That's not so great. But I think it's a benign thing, that why should a gift you will not use that will give you no pleasure sit in your house? And you know, today is considered to be the biggest shopping day of the year. I put shopping in quotation marks, don't you? I think a lot of that shopping is a lot of exchanging.

COHEN: Returning and exchanging, yes. So ethicists have lines. Where is your line in terms of gifts that you absolutely should not regift?

COHEN: Something truly intimate and truly personal. The more genuine feeling that's conveyed by the gift, the more it comes from someone's heart to my heart, that's something I would be very reluctant to pass on to another person, because it's that intimate. The more impersonal the gift is, give it to someone who will enjoy it. Everyone's happy.

GUPTA: Are you going to do that this year at in all?

COHEN: Like anyone gave me anything.

GUPTA: Randy Cohen, the ethicist from "New York Times" magazine.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com