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What Should the U.S. Do About Iran?; Why the Delay in the 9/11 Memorial?; Fat Man Walking Discusses Journey
Aired May 10, 2006 - 19:00:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
GKENN BECK, CNNHN HOST: Thanks, Judy, now the weather. Geiger 3000 is showing a lot of activity right here in Tehran, and if you look here, you`ll see unseasonable temperatures in the low 10,000s. It will be cooler along the coast as the gale force clouds block back towards the mushroom cloud away from the fire storms. So ladies, you might want to pack your burkas.
Today`s UV index is at a nine to the tenth power. Sports is next.
We`re not going to get an e-mail on that one. The next time you complain about the leadership in our country, just count your blessings that we`re not stuck with this whack job. That`s Iranian president Aberjarbadi (sic) or whatever. I`m not going to lie to you. I have no idea how to say his name. I call him "President Tom."
By the way, if they ever take over the world, I would invest in microphone stock.
President Tom probably is going to get nukes soon, if he doesn`t have them already. This whole situation has brought to mind two things.
First of all, do you honestly think we can negotiate with these guys? I mean, we`ve had dangerous enemies before, but they all seemed to have some degree of good common sense. Even during the Cold War, the Russians kind of felt like, "You know -- you know, we might not want to be vaporized today, Ivan."
The regular folks in Iran? I think they feel the same way. It`s the Iranian leaders who might just totally be up for vaporization, if Allah tells them so.
So second thing that`s got me a little riled up is poor, sweet, naive Condoleezza Rice. Yesterday, she went to the U.N. to -- look at her there. I remember when I was young and naive, and I thought the U.N. could do something.
Yesterday, she went to the U.N. And don`t get me wrong. I mean, I don`t know how to handle Iran. I`m completely bluffing. But the U.N.? Come on, Condi. The coalition of French, Syrian, Russian and Chinese weasels who abandoned Rwanda? And we were there with them. They`re going to clean up Iran?
Look, here`s who I think we should enlist, the Super Friends. Since the 1970s, the Super Friends have been fighting crime and teaching valuable lessons, like why we shouldn`t hitchhike and stuff like that. They stared down the Legion of Doom, which when I was thinking of it earlier today, I actually think would be a good nickname for the U.N., the Legion of Doom.
They should be able to take care of Iran in just under 30 minutes. Condoleezza, don`t waste your time at the U.N., hop on by, hop over to the Hall of Justice. I`m just saying.
But what do I know? We thought from time to time, we should have some sort of an authority on the subject. We found Vince Flynn. He is an international best-selling author, who war games doomsday scenarios, which is honestly what I like to do with my -- my time. He also has been hanging out with President Bush, a fan of his work.
Hello, Vince, how are you, sir?
VINCE FLYNN, INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLING AUTHOR: Good, Glenn, how are you?
BECK: You know, we could go to the think tanks, but honestly, I know several best-selling novelists. And you -- you are one of these guys like Tom Clancy. You know, Tom Clancy in the Cold War, the Russians actually thought that, you know, he was part of the CIA, and he was war gaming. You guys do so much homework, you probably have a solution, and you`re willing to spill your guts on it. How do we fix Iran?
FLYNN: Iran, it`s a complicated issue, so I don`t -- I like your humorous approach to bring a little light to something so tense right now, but the gist is, I think we`re better off treating them like we treat China than like we treat Cuba. I think that if...
BECK: Wait a minute. That means treat them like friends? Get in bed with them? Hang on. Let me just -- OK.
FLYNN: I don`t think we should treat them necessarily like friends. But I think what we`ve got over there is a president, and I have a hard time saying his name, too, Ahmadinejad, is...
BECK: Better than me. President Tom.
FLYNN: President Tom. He and the mullahs, they need us. They need us as their whipping boy, as the evil Satan so they can rally their nation against a cause and deflect attention from them, which they`re doing a horrible job governing the country.
And one of the ways to do this is resurrect Persian nationalism and get them on the track to getting this -- nuclear weapons. Pakistan has got the bomb. India has got the bomb. And you`ve also got Israel, who`s got the bomb.
BECK: We`re trying to -- we`re trying to use their own citizens and, you know, start kind of an insurrection. We`re popular, believe it or not, with the people of Iran, believe it or not. But, you know, we`re running out of time. He is using nationalism.
Is there a chance -- I know this is insane to say, but I mean, worst case scenario, doesn`t using a tactical nuke, which is the only way we could destroy their bunkers, isn`t that -- what would happen? Play the domino game with me.
FLYNN: That -- in my mind, that`s a nonstarter. I don`t think the U.S. is going to do it. Obviously, Britain, France and German are not going to do it. Russia and China are out of the picture on this.
Embargoes are not going to work. They didn`t work in Iraq. You saw people, the French, circumvented it. The U.N. food-for-oil scandal. If we try to do an economic embargo against Iran, India is going to line up to get the oil, China is going to line up to get their oil. It`s going to create a disaster.
Unfortunately, I think that the only country willing to do something about this is probably going to end up being Israel.
BECK: That`s it.
FLYNN: And there`s a very good case to be made that they have the right to do so, because President Ahmadinejad has came out and said that he wants to wipe them off the face of the map.
BECK: Real quick. I`ve only got 10 seconds, Vince. We`ll spend more time with you on this. I have to ask, even in fiction, does the U.N. ever work?
FLYNN: No, it doesn`t. Yes, it`s simple.
BECK: It doesn`t. I mean, we`d be better off with Wonder Woman and her invisible plane. Vince, thank you so much. I appreciate your time.
FLYNN: Thanks, Glenn, I appreciate it. You bet.
ANNOUNCER: This is Glenn Beck.
BECK: Let`s move on to something else. Ground Zero, it`s still a depressing hole in the middle of the ground. Plans now are in place for a memorial to start being built there real soon, at a cost of $1 billion. I`ll believe it, honestly, when I see it.
It`s been 1,703 days, almost five years, since 9/11, and nothing has been built. Think about that. Five years. It took us four to win World War II. This is a national embarrassment. It`s ridiculous.
The cornerstone for the thing has moved around more like Michael Jackson at a Chuck E. Cheese than an actual cornerstone.
Seven World Trade Center is right next door. It`s been up and running for awhile. You know why? Because it was done by a private developer. We kept the government out of it. Isn`t there anybody who can get it done, get it together, move this thing along?
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. The answer is, yes, Donald Trump. Donald Trump, Don, if watching me, baby, build it, help us. I`ll even sweeten the deal. If you agree to build this thing, we`ll give you the top two floors to do anything you want. You could take floors 117 and 118. You could build a Trump Hooters if you want. Done. Whatever you need. You need to be involved.
You can take this and turn it into this. America needs you. Donald Trump, you`re hired. By the way, you`re free to use that if you`d like. I just thought of it right now.
When I told my crew earlier today I wanted to talk to somebody about this, somebody told me, you should speak to somebody from New York. I think honestly, that`s crap. It`s an American issue, not a New York issue.
Bill Handel is a host from KFI in Los Angeles, and even on the far other reaches of this country, he knows that it`s an outrage.
Hi, Bill, how are you?
BILL HANDEL, KFI RADIO HOST: Hey, Glenn, how are you?
BECK: Good. What`s taking so long? Why -- we should even have a McDonald`s at least.
HANDEL: Sure, sure. Don Trump can also -- don`t forget, Don Trump can put in the -- the skating risk at the bottom, too. He`s the only one that could probably pull it off.
BECK: He did it.
HANDEL: But look at the pieces that are involved, Glenn. You`ve got the victims` families. You`ve got the authorities. You`ve got the federal government. You`ve got the private developer. You`ve got every single interest group in the country, all totally dedicated to having a major piece of this, emotionally.
So of course nothing is being done. And the billion dollars. That just doubled last week. It was half a billion dollars until last week. Now what?
BECK: They haven`t started. Have you ever remodeled your house, man?
BECK: They always say that will be $50,000. It`s 100 once you`re finished.
HANDEL: It was a billion dollars.
BECK: They`re doing a billion dollars before we`ve started. What is it actually going to cost? What kind of sweet museum is costing us a billion dollars before we start?
HANDEL: I don`t even know. I don`t even know what they have in mind. Because think of what we could do. First of all, land there goes by the thousands, hundreds of thousands of dollars per square inch. So why not take like a 50 by 50 plot, put a tree in the middle. Thank you, we`re done.
BECK: Oh, my gosh.
HANDEL: Significant, says it all. Watch the tree grow. What more do you want?
BECK: I think this thing is never going to be completed. I actually read a woman who was in charge of this project. Can you imagine being in charge of the museum in this country? What a nightmare job.
HANDEL: It is -- the problem is that look how at long the World War II museum -- the memorial on the Mall took. The many pieces that was involved in there. That took 40 years to build and tens of millions of dollars and private enterprise and Tom Hanks.
This thing could theoretically go forever. And by the way, no one is going to be happy with the outcome of this. You`re going to see most of America very upset because it isn`t what they wanted.
BECK: Do you think that this thing is ever going to be built?
HANDEL: Yes, yes. Really, not in my lifetime.
BECK: I was going to say, in my lifetime?
HANDEL: Sure, sure.
BECK: Once we get past all of the emotion. Does it really -- does it hack you off that you look over at Dubai, and they`re building the tallest buildings in the world and here we are sitting with a hole in the ground? What does this tell people?
HANDEL: It tells people that this, No. 1, is a very special place. No. 2, I think we have done a huge disservice to ourselves, because the best thing we could have done to tell the terrorists that blew that place up that they can go cram it where the sun doesn`t shine, is to have rebuilt a center of commerce almost immediately, to say this is America, we are in business for business, and you`re not going to stop us. They`re winning -- they`re winning by us not doing it.
BECK: Bill Handel. Bill Handel, I`ve got to run. Thank you very much. Appreciate it. Bye-bye.
HANDEL: See you later.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BECK: The president of Iran, the No. 1 cheese, the No. 1 head honcho, he wants to get in touch with the president of United States. How does he do it? He writes a note. I mean, what leader of the free world still even has access to a pen? You write a note? Come on, man, get with the program. I mean, send a text message or something, get on IM. You know, send a video mail. A little higher tech than, "Hey, can somebody grab me a rock and a tablet?"
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BECK: A recent study by the University of North Carolina found that only 15 percent of obese people actually consider themselves obese. Me, I`m just kind of husky.
Now, here`s one surefire way I think you can tell if you`re obese. It`s just -- do what you`re doing now. Watch cable news.
If you come home, and you turn on the TV and a show like this one is doing a piece on obesity in America, and you turn on the TV and you look and you go, "Hey, that`s me." And they never show faces, but you recognize that`s my shirt that hasn`t fit me since 1994. Then, my friend, sorry to say, it`s time to start thinking about Jenny Craig and maybe her whole family.
Or, if you`re completely insane, you can just do what my next guest did. He got his butt and the couch and walked across America. No, don`t think so.
Steve Vaught decided to take his fat and his fate into his hands. He trekked across the country in an effort to lose some weight and regain his life.
Joining me now is Steve Vaught. Steve, you`re sitting down. You`re tired. How many -- how many hours sleep have you had?
STEVE VAUGHT, FAT MAN WALKING: I`ve had about five hours in the last...
BECK: And did we actually pick you up in a car and take you? Or...
BECK: It`s a big budget show.
BECK: Here`s the thing I thought of, Steve, when I read this story about you. To my calculations, it took you 33 miles to lose a pound.
VAUGHT: You`ve got to take into consideration, too, that there`s ups and downs. I actually gained weight and lost weight and went through the whole struggle.
BECK: This isn`t helping. Because I know, a lot of people -- I talked about it on the radio show. A lot of people wrote me, and they`re like, "Hey, he`s an inspiration." Really, come on, 33 pounds a mile. And then you ended up gaining weight at the end. I find that depressing. I may never exercise again.
VAUGHT: Well, the thing is exercise alone is not enough. If exercise were enough, there wouldn`t be any overweight people. You know, this is really about correcting bad behaviors. And there`s no way to quantify that on a per mile basis. It`s a struggle you have to go from beginning to end.
BECK: You started out, you were weighing 410 pounds.
VAUGHT: Four hundred and 10.
BECK: Four hundred and 10 pounds. You walked across the country, and you dropped 100 pounds. But then towards the end, didn`t you just put back, like 15 pounds?
VAUGHT: Actually, I`ve lost 130 pounds. I got down to 282, and in the last -- in the last, probably four or five weeks, I`ve had to adjust my diet because of health issues, and I put on a little bit more weight. But that`s -- that`s not a big deal, because I know I can take it back off in the next couple of weeks when I have better access to food.
BECK: So what were you eating?
VAUGHT: I was eating about 80 percent protein and about 20 percent carbohydrates. And I kind of messed up my innards a little bit and I had to make adjustments.
BECK: Right. Have you ever encountered a moment in life -- this is a yes or no question -- where you found out too much information about somebody?
BECK: That happened to me. I`m looking at your story, I`m reading through your story. And at the beginning of your jury, I found out you were duct taping your underpants in place to prevent chaffing.
VAUGHT: I don`t know where you got that from.
BECK: Really, that didn`t happen?
BECK: No duct taping of your underpants?
VAUGHT: No duct taping of anything.
BECK: I am so -- what else could you duct tape?
VAUGHT: Well, that`s not a bad idea.
BECK: OK. So you said -- tell me if this is right -- you said the worst part of your trip was in Texas?
VAUGHT: Texas was rough. Texas was flat and featureless, the Panhandle, anyways.
BECK: It was your 40th birthday. What happened?
VAUGHT: The days are mixed up a little bit. Actually, in Texas, I was on antidepressants when I started this. I had a really bad struggle with depression. And in Texas I decided that if I was going to fix anything, I had to do it without medication, and I came off of it.
BECK: Good for you.
VAUGHT: And the panhandle of Texas is not the best place in the world to be coming off antidepressants. I`m here to tell you.
BECK: Yes, I understand what you`re saying.
Too much information question again. You went through, what, 15 pairs of sneakers?
VAUGHT: About 15. I believe I`m on my 15th pair right now.
BECK: OK. But I understand only three shirts.
VAUGHT: Yes, three of the outer shirts. A ton of the inner shirts.
BECK: Have you ever considered walking back to California, just to drop a few more pounds?
VAUGHT: Not even for a second.
BECK: Right. Would you ever do it again? If you knew then what you know now, what you ever do it again?
VAUGHT: I would. I would. Because you know, this has been difficult. And there`s been really bad days. And that`s where the growth is. The growth is in the adversity and in the hardship. Had I known this before I left, I probably never would have done it. But now I feel like I`m stronger mentally and physically. Certainly I`d do it again.
BECK: What was the -- what was the hardest thing or the most unexpected thing that you learned from the journey?
VAUGHT: I think the hardest thing was just staying out there day after day. And I think the most unexpected thing was that you do reach a point where you sort of turn the bend, turn the corner and you start to really make, you know, good emotional progress.
BECK: I got to tell you, man. I would start it in California. I`d hit the Sierras and be like, "OK, I`m done." I couldn`t do it.
VAUGHT: When they came over the horizon I seriously thought what the heck am I doing?
BECK: Yes, you had to. Thank you so much. I appreciate it, sir.
VAUGHT: Thank you.
BECK: Thanks, Steve.
All right. Time now for our "Quality of Life" market update. And we begin with the recent headlines declaring that gas prices have fallen one cent nationwide.
Are you kidding me? This is not a story. The real story is how smart the oil and gas companies really are. These guys have figured out a way to make it easier to make a lot of cash not when the price of oil is rising, but when the price of oil is falling.
That`s led to a big jump today in the stock price of "sneaky ways to make a profit," a sector that`s been struggling ever since Attorney General Elliot Spitzer came along.
Consider this. Now listen -- listen to this carefully. Prior to Hurricane Katrina last fall, oil was around $63 a barrel and gas was $2.57 a gallon. Then Katrina hits, panic ensues, Nagin says stupid stuff, and gas goes up all the way to $3.05 a gallon. OK, fine. But, here`s where they get sneaky.
A few weeks after Katrina, everything starts to settle back down. Gas prices do fall, but only to $2.82 a gallon. And oil prices? Less than the pre-Katrina cost, at $60 a barrel.
The same exact thing is happening right now. Oil prices have fallen from their highs, but gas prices -- ha, let`s celebrate -- have come down one fricking penny. I told you on Monday, abolish the penny, America, and stop celebrating every time there`s a one-cent drop in gas. Instead, let`s start figuring out why these companies can gouge our eyes out when their costs are actually going down, not up.
ANNOUNCER: Later on Glenn Beck.
BECK: Coming up in the next half hour, a story you`re not going to believe. Some people say it`s the Minutemen versus the migrants. Guess who`s telling the Mexican government exactly where our guys are.
BECK: Hello, and welcome back to "Masterpiece Theater".
Every weekday afternoon radio listeners in Chicago tune in to "The Roe Conn Show". Why? I have absolutely no idea. Probably to hear Roe`s witty insights about the things that everybody talks about. So we thought, who better to bring us the winners and the losers of the week than Roe Conn? A little segment we like to call "Roes & Conns".
ROE CONN, RADIO TALK SHOW HOST: Hello, Glenn.
BECK: How are you, sir?
CONN: I love the "Masterpiece Theater" thing. I feel very much like Alistair Cook.
BECK: You look like a banker. So who is winning and losing this week?
CONN: All right. Prescott Bush is our first loser. Now the Bush family, they`re kind of used to this by now. You had Bush 41, accused of puking on the Japanese prime minister. You have G.W., who has been accused of fudging the WMD issue. But now Prescott Bush has been accused of stealing Geronimo`s skull.
BECK: No! Not from Skull and Bones?
CONN: From Skull and Bones back in 1917. They think that he went out, dug up the skull and put it in some basement at Yale.
BECK: This darn Bush administration, man. When will the evil stop?
CONN: I think this is something for the Democrats to run on this year.
BECK: You know what? They might.
CONN: No. 2, California Department of Family Services. They`re going to have to add a bunch of people, because now that the Federline-Spears family is expanding, you`ve got to have a lot of investigators, I think.
BECK: Yes. Did you see her on Letterman?
CONN: I have another interesting one.
BECK: Did you see her on Letterman last night?
CONN: She`s something, isn`t she? Look at her.
BECK: You know, I`ve never seen -- I`ve never seen a hot woman that I`ve been less attracted to than Britney spears
CONN: You know what? It will be great when she`s a 33-year-old grandmother, won`t it?
CONN: Just going to be fabulous.
BECK: What a surprise.
CONN: All right. Now George Gudgeon is our third loser of the week. He`s the real Hamburgler. There really is one. And here`s what happened. He was an accountant. He was a finance guy for McDonald`s in Oak Brook, Illinois. stole $600,000 from the company, has to go away to Playland for five years.
BECK: Oh, no. Does he get to play with the little balls and stuff? I hope we have that for Moussaoui, you know? We have the little -- he can say, "Look, I`m going to bury myself in balls." Which probably has never been uttered on network TV. Forget I said that. Go ahead. Move on.
CONN: Let`s. All right. Winners, winners. Lance Burton and David Copperfield. Lance Burton and David Copperfield.
CONN: Do you know why, Glenn?
BECK: No, I have no idea.
CONN: Because -- because they can do a magic trick, unlike David Blaine.
BECK: Holy cow. Was that the worst thing you`ve ever seen? You know, I wondered the other day, does he actually practice these tricks before he does them?
CONN: All right. Be honest with me, Glenn. Were you praying for his death? Be honest.
BECK: Well, let me check the bracelet. Jesus tells me that I should say no, I wasn`t praying for his death. But yes, I was.
CONN: All right. Numismatics are winners. Numismatics.
BECK: I don`t even know what numismatics are?
CONN: Those are people who collect coins. And here`s why. And I`m going to differ with you on this.
CONN: It`s because the Abraham Lincoln coin, the Abraham Lincoln penny. Now, as you know, the anti-Lincoln forces are out here trying to get rid of the penny. I think you`re one of them.
CONN: The deal is, the minute that they ban the penny, it will be worth $40 on eBay.
BECK: Good, I`d like to have them. I`ve got a lot of them in a jar.
Roe Conn from WLS, Chicago, thanks. See you next week.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BECK: Stop the music for a second, please. There is something very important that we need to share with you.
ANNOUNCER: The H5N1 flu virus is currently infecting wild birds and poultry...
ANNOUNCER: ... in 48 countries in Asia, Europe, the Middle East, and Africa.
BECK: Freak out!
ANNOUNCER: Human cases have been very limited and have resulted in approximately 125 deaths.
ANNOUNCER: According to experts, the avian flu cannot be contracted by eating properly cooked poultry. So far, there has not been a known transmission of the disease in the form which can fuel the pandemic.
BECK: What are you not telling us?
ANNOUNCER: However, scientists continue to debate the potential for this or another influenza virus to mutate and then be easily passed among human beings.
ANNOUNCER: This film is a fictional examination of the question: What if?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BECK: From the flu virus to the Minutemen, it`s a happy, happy, happy day here on the GLENN BECK program. I want you to know right up front, I love the Minuteman project. You know, the guys and grandmothers in lawn chairs who, you know, are doing the job our border security isn`t doing and calling it for what it is: an absolute joke.
Civilians who care enough to keep our country -- keep it safe, keep watch on a thousand or so miles that our own U.S. Border Patrol can`t or won`t do. You know, you would think that we would want to help the Minutemen keep their locations secret, right?
Guess what? A U.S. customs spokesperson has acknowledged that our Border Patrol is required to disclose the location of groups like the Minutemen when they participate in apprehending an illegal immigrant. In other words, we phone up and call the Mexican government and tell them exactly where some of our civilian patrols are looking for illegal aliens. The whole deal has been formalized in a "cooperative agreement."
We found a quote on the Mexican government`s own Web site today. Fortunately, somebody on our staff knows how to speak Spanish. Here`s what it says.
Apparently, we`re sharing this information so the Mexicans can, quote, "monitor activities of vigilante groups like the Minutemen that could interfere with the rights of our citizens." Their rights, on our land? They don`t have any rights on our land.
I want to be very, very clear here: I am not a journalist. This is not a news show. I want to be fair, but I`m going to be honest. My spider senses are tingling, man. There is something here. I`m going with my gut.
Let me translate this into my English: I think this deal, what it really does, is betray the secret location of our civilians protecting our borders and endangering the lives of American patriots who are doing the job our government won`t.
Let`s connect the dots here: Stephen Eichler, he`s the executive director of the Minutemen Project. Even before this story broke, he saw firsthand how this wonderful little agreement actually impacts the works of civilian patrols on the ground.
What did you see, Stephen?
STEPHEN EICHLER, MINUTEMAN PROJECT: Well, we saw a number of times where we would go to a location. And all of a sudden, there was no illegal aliens. And it wasn`t because we simply showed up, but it`s as if they had advanced notice. And we couldn`t figure that out.
And as we would go to location to location, the first thing we would do is we would call the Border Patrol. We say, "Well, we`re at station 144 or 145. There`s 10 of us or there`s 30 of us." And we did not know that that information was being telegraphed to what we consider the enemy.
And, all of a sudden, we find out that we`re being betrayed. You know, it`s like Judas betraying for 30 pieces of silver. We feel betrayed...
BECK: I bet you do.
EICHLER: ... and we feel the knife still sticking our backs, absolutely.
BECK: I am aghast at this whole thing.
EICHLER: Look, we go down on our own dime, our own expense. Nobody pays us to go down there. And we`re there to do one thing: protect the sovereignty of America. And for our nation to be disingenuous, that smacks of treason.
BECK: Let me ask you this: Why do you think that, you know, the United States is ratting on the Minutemen to the Mexican government? Let me ask you this: On their own Web site in Mexico, it says, you know, to protect their rights. What rights do they have? And has there been a single incident with the Minutemen and illegals?
EICHLER: No. No, matter of fact, we get out of the way. What we do is take the cell phone, call the Border Patrol and say, "There`s suspicious activity." It might be a troop transport coming across the border filled with illegal aliens, or it might be 500 illegal aliens. We don`t want to interface with them at all. We get out of the way, let the Border Patrol do their job. So there`s not even been an incident.
BECK: I have to tell you, I think it is such an outrage. This is how out of control and out of touch this government is, when we have everyday citizens going and setting up a lawn chair and sitting in the middle of the frickin` desert to watch for people coming across. That`s how out of touch our government is.
And then to rat on you, what kind of danger does this put your people in?
EICHLER: Well, it`s huge. If I could address two questions -- first of all, why is this happening? Well, because we embarrassed the White House. it`s very simple. When Jim Gilchrist went to the border about a year ago, he was called a vigilante, because, what did he have, a Big Gulp that he got from the 7-Eleven?
BECK: Well, you`re a vigilante. Have you noticed, you`re only M away from having Eichmann as your last name, sir?
EICHLER: Well, you know, it`s unfortunate that there are people in history who have done bad things, but the Minutemen don`t do bad things. And what it`s done is created a real danger situation for the Minutemen and Minutewomen.
We`ve discussed this on our Web site at MinutemanProject.com, and the danger that we are now in, knowing that the government on both sides of the fence, our government and their government, is out to get us. What`s that all about?
BECK: I only have 30 seconds. Do you think that it is the White House? Or do you think there`s a possibility that maybe there`s some sort of sibling rivalry between the Minutemen and the Border Patrol? I mean, didn`t you think you guys worked together?
EICHLER: Oh, the Border Patrol actually loves us, because we`re their eyes and ears. No, we`re embarrassing the White House. We`re embarrassing Capitol Hill, because we`re doing work that they`re refusing to do, and yet they sit back and say, "Give me your votes." Well, not this time.
BECK: Stephen Eichler, thank you so much, sir. And best of luck. Stay safe.
EICHLER: Thanks for having me.
BECK: All right. Time now to go "Straight to the Hill," Erica Hill, the anchor of "PRIME NEWS TONIGHT."
ERICA HILL, CNN HEADLINE NEWS ANCHOR: Hello, there.
BECK: How are you?
HILL: I`m doing well. How are you this Wednesday?
BECK: I`m doing pretty good. I`m doing pretty good. I will tell you that it`s a little embarrassing, sitting there, watching your program at night with my wife. And she says, "Look at the way that Erica is looking at you." And I say, "I know, honey."
HILL: Don`t try to drag me in this one, my friend.
BECK: I know...
HILL: I am nothing but professional.
BECK: It`s a hostile work environment for me. Erica, tell me about the news.
HILL: So first thing we`re going to start off with -- and I know you`ve been seeing this today -- there is some crazy weather out there. And it just seems to be getting worse every year.
Grabbing a ton of headlines today, residents from Louisiana to Kentucky now under severe thunderstorm warnings, which could develop into violent tornadoes. In northeast Texas right now, rescue teams are looking for possible victims from last night`s tornadoes.
We already know an elderly couple and a teenager were killed, 10 were others hospitalized. Several homes in the area completely leveled. All that was left: chunks of debris.
BECK: I have to tell you, that I -- the first time I was in Kansas, I came from the airport, and I drove through a town where there had been a tornado the night before. It is the spookiest thing I have ever seen.
BECK: I`ve got to tell you, I would never -- California, if you ever get earthquakes and tornadoes, I`m not even -- not that you want me there, but I`m not even coming to visit.
HILL: That would be a little scary. Actually, though, having lived in California, I wasn`t as scared of earthquakes after I`d been through a small one. It didn`t really bug me as much, so I think I`d be more afraid of a tornado.
BECK: Yes, the small ones aren`t really the ones that should bother you.
HILL: You still feel them, my friend. When they wake you up in the middle of the night the first time, it`s a little freaky.
BECK: I know. I know.
HILL: Let`s move on. All right, so there we go, weather. Everybody keep an eye on weather.
Also this one, boy, I know you`re going to like this one. Somebody on the president`s staff in big trouble tonight after somehow they left a rather detailed paper trail. A complete itinerary of President Bush`s trip to Florida, including a list of who was going to be traveling on Air Force One, found in the trash.
BECK: Hey, let me ask you, is FEMA keeping the president`s schedule?
BECK: How is this happening?
HILL: Now, here`s what we`re (INAUDIBLE) it was actually found by a sanitation worker, found the documents near a garbage truck. He brought them to the local TV station, because, you know, what else do you do when you find what looks like -- it could be a top-secret document.
BECK: Absolutely. Bring it right to TV.
HILL: Turns out, according to the Secret Service, while the documents are from the White House, they`re not classified.
BECK: OK, good.
HILL: There you have it.
BECK: Well, it`s good that we`re not classifying that kind of stuff, nuclear football in the top drawer.
HILL: All right, this next one maybe your wife can relate to.
BECK: All right.
HILL: Believe it or not, Glenn, you, Mr. Glenn Beck, may be just the type of guy the ladies are looking for.
BECK: I know. It`s a cross I bear.
HILL: It`s not about the looks, I got to tell you: It`s the kids.
BECK: Really? No. It`s what?
HILL: It`s the kids. A new study finds women can tell if a man likes kids just by looking at his face.
BECK: OK. OK.
HILL: So, they ask...
BECK: Look at my face. Do I like kids?
HILL: Well, I know you have four of them. Whether or not you like them is another question.
BECK: No, I love my kids. It`s other people`s kids I`m a little iffy on.
HILL: So there you go. Apparently, they look at the picture. They showed pictures to men of -- they showed men an adult and a picture of an infant, and then took pictures of their reactions. And then the women judge those reactions.
BECK: OK, this story -- this is becoming a little disturbing, too. I mean, we`re showing pictures of children to men. What kind of weird research is that?
HILL: That might be a little kooky.
BECK: Yes, I don`t think I would do that. If somebody came up to me in the mall and said, "Excuse me, sir, we would like you to look at these pictures of children," I wouldn`t be comfortable.
HILL: It was a little more controlled than that.
HILL: It was a little more -- it was a college study, I believe, out of the University of Chicago. It`s a much more controlled environment.
BECK: Oh, well, if it`s happening on a college campus, then it`s totally fine. Erica, thanks a lot. Check her out on "PRIME NEWS," that`s on CNN Headline News, at 6:00 Eastern time. See you tomorrow, Erica.
HILL: See you then.
BECK: So did you catch "American Idol" last night? Of course you did, right after me, or before me. Not really sure, you know, depending what time zone you`re in. I have no idea what time this show is even on.
But you know what? Simon`s right, as always: Elliott came in the underdog. And I got to admit it: He is growing on me. I don`t know what happened. He was great last night.
This week, it was all Elvis in Memphis, greeted by Priscilla. And did Ryan actually call her the first lady of rock?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PRISCILLA PRESLEY, FORMER WIFE OF LATE ELVIS PRESLEY: I think that, you know, if Elvis were alive today, he would certainly cheer you on. I think it would be one of his favorite shows.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BECK: No, I`m sure it would be. He`d be lounging around, a 71-year- old 300-pound body in that room in Graceland with all of the TVs. They`d all be on. He`d be watching "American Idol." Sure.
Can you play back -- in the control room -- can you put her back on the screen for a second? Was that frightening? I think she looks like Christopher Walken`s and Joan Rivers` love child, if they both had a baby at one.
Joining me now from Los Angeles is former "Idol" contestant Kimberly Caldwell.
KIMBERLY CALDWELL, FORMER "IDOL" CONTESTANT: You are a disaster.
BECK: What does that mean, a disaster?
CALDWELL: You are so rude, I love it.
BECK: You are so hot, and I mean that. Look at you, all...
CALDWELL: No, you actually mean H-O-T, is what you said earlier.
BECK: Yes, you do. Yes, you do, looking all jingoistic in red, white and blue, and everything else.
CALDWELL: Yes, I guess I`m representing.
BECK: You`re the TV Guide Channel idol tonight, you host that thing. And I contend that that`s not really even a channel, but...
CALDWELL: Yes, it is a channel. And if you want to fight, you can fly out here and flight.
BECK: Look, I`m on Headline News. I know channels and non-channels.
CALDWELL: It is a channel. Maybe you don`t have time to go home -- you`re on TV. You should know what the TV Guide Channel is, right?
BECK: I do, I do. Listen, let me ask you this: Do you think that Taylor last night looked -- you know, I said to you last week that I thought he was a cross between Ray Charles and Joe Cocker, with a touch of Madeleine Albright. If you looked at him last night, did you not think that he looked a little like Jay Leno singing?
CALDWELL: No, I don`t think he looks like Jay Leno. No, he doesn`t.
BECK: That`s Jay Leno.
CALDWELL: Everybody says everybody looks like Jay Leno. But I think that Taylor actually did awesome last night. And it was good to see him, like, dancing around and everything. But I don`t think that it was night; I think that it was Elliott`s night, for sure. He came in as the underdog.
BECK: No, no, no, I agree with you. I thought he was great last night. But, you know, he`s not going to win. Do you think he`s going to win?
CALDWELL: Listen, this is the thing, is that, last night, he changed everything. If you would have asked me during the day yesterday who was going to go, I would have said Elliott is going, bottom line.
BECK: Me, too.
CALDWELL: I mean, no discussion about it. He changed the entire competition.
BECK: Say it with me, on the count of three, say it with me. Who do you think is going to be kicked off, one, two, three, Katharine.
CALDWELL: I don`t have anybody.
BECK: Katharine`s gone.
CALDWELL: See, I don`t know. How do you let go of Katharine and how do you let go of Taylor? I think Chris is going to probably go to the finals.
BECK: Oh, I saw it at the end of "Titanic." You just let it go. You let it go.
CALDWELL: You`re so silly. No, you know what? This is the thing, though. Katharine actually had two good performances, but one of them she forgot her words, and that`s really all you think about, instead of thinking about the great performance she just gave...
BECK: Who is going to go? Who is going to go, then? It`s not going to be Chris.
CALDWELL: I don`t know who`s going to go.
BECK: Let me tell you something...
CALDWELL: OK, it`s not going to be Chris, and it shouldn`t be Elliott.
BECK: Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait.
CALDWELL: It shouldn`t be Elliott.
BECK: Let me ask you this: Chris doesn`t -- ever since I saw Chris, I thought, "He`s going to be the winner." But you know what? I think most people feel like I do, that you look at him, "He`s the winner, he`s great," but you don`t have real passion for him.
CALDWELL: Oh, I do.
BECK: Taylor, people have -- well, I don`t want to talk about that.
BECK: I think people have...
CALDWELL: Chris Daughtry, are you joking, people don`t have passion for him? The women in America have fallen in love with a married man. It`s really quite strange, actually.
BECK: Come on.
CALDWELL: I think they have very much passion for him.
BECK: I had a lady call me on my radio show last week from Japan. And she said, "Oh, I got to tell you, I`m part of the Taylor fan club, and I`m"...
CALDWELL: The Soul Patrol?
BECK: Yes. "I`m flying in from Japan to Oregon so I can cast a vote." I said to her: You`re a loser.
CALDWELL: That`s so nice. Oh, that is a little crazy. Sorry, honey, it is weird.
CALDWELL: But, Taylor, you know what? He is the only one who hasn`t been in the bottom two or the bottom three. He`s never been in the bottom, because his fans, the Soul Patrol, they`re crazy and they love him. And, you know, he deserves all the love he gets.
BECK: All right. Take a stand. Come on. Take a stand. Who`s going? Who`s going tonight?
CALDWELL: I don`t know. OK, it`s either going to be Taylor or Katharine. That`s what I think. And I think it would be a shame if...
BECK: Oh, look at you! You`re a Democrat, aren`t you?
CALDWELL: It would be a shame if -- would you let me talk ever? You never let me talk.
BECK: You`re a Democrat. You can`t make up your mind.
CALDWELL: Do you want me to come and do interviews?
BECK: Little Miss France, I see you. Take a stand.
CALDWELL: I think it`s either going to be Taylor or Katharine, because Elliott changed the entire competition last night.
BECK: All right. All right.
CALDWELL: I wish I was in studio with you, because I`d just pop you right upside the head.
BECK: I do, too. It would be fun. It really would. We should meet next week in Omaha and do it together.
CALDWELL: A little violent. A little violent in Omaha. That`s where my grandma grew up, was in Omaha.
BECK: Oh, I wish we had time for you to tell us the whole grandmother story, because it would be fascinating, especially when you told it.
CALDWELL: Well, I know you are fascinated by me, so it happens.
BECK: Kim, thanks a lot. We`ll see you next week.
CALDWELL: Thanks, Glenn. See you. Bye.
BECK: You bet. Bye-bye.
Tomorrow on the show, a D.C. steakhouse giving free Friday night dinners to some of the war`s worst wounded is forced to shut its doors. Oh, this is nice.
BECK: All right. Welcome to "Ask Glenn," where you can ask me anything about anything. And I`ll then struggle through a pretty mediocre and uninformed answer.
John writes, "Why are we pushing math and science education when there are no jobs in the U.S. in those fields? I worked on the space shuttle, the Hubble, the Trident II" -- which I`m pretty sure is gum -- "and had to follow the jobs from state to state. What careers should our kids follow in the years to come?"
John, the actual rocket science, John, I don`t really know too much about math, but if I may talk down to a rocket scientist just for a minute, it`s because this is America. We don`t teach our kids how to invest or balance a frickin` checkbook.
It`s all part of the ACLU`s official policy to electrocute anyone who says "God" in the schools.
Yet we shovel on in education about the sine, and the cosine, and the isosceles triangle. Who uses that stuff, I mean, unless you`re a rocket scientist? Apparently, not too many people on the list of best jobs in America, according to CNN Money, and Salary.com.
Number three is financial adviser. There`s a fun job. Number two: college professor. Weasels. And number one is the software engineer.
Yes, the number-one career is the guy making computer programs that are supposed to help but then wind up crashing, then you lose all your files, and you eventually go crazy, set your office on fire. Then right before you go to jail for arson, you get fired in a meeting by the number four guy on the list, the human resources manager.
May a take a quick ADD moment here? With all of the lawsuits, if you want to fire someone, you have to go to your human resources manager and create a paper trail of all of their mistakes, right? So how would you go about creating a paper trail to fire your human resources manager? Probably, you know, at "Ask Glenn" for another day. I`m just saying.
Look, the jobs are fine and everything, but the way this country is heading, I have my own top jobs for the list for your kids. Here it is. Number three: anorexic socialite with rich parents who have sex in night vision. And two: baseball star, who hits over 700 homeruns because his ability is 100 percent natural.
And number one: dumpy, aging talk show host with very little education and even less talent. I`m just saying, that`s where I would focus your kids.
That`s all we have for you tonight. We`ll see you tomorrow. See you tomorrow, you sick freaks!
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