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Glenn Beck

Boy Considers Suing School Over Banned Prom Dress; Unbridled Glenn Beck; Magazine Features High End Consumer Goods

Aired May 25, 2006 - 19:00   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

ANNOUNCER: Today`s episode of GLENN BECK is brought to you by Ken Lay`s potato chips. Ken Lay`s potato chips, bold flavor for hard time. Bet you can`t steal just one.
GLENN BECK, HOST: I know, I know. You are never going to believe this, but try. When I was in high school, I was a massive dork. No, I was. It`s true. Hard to believe. Every day I`d go to school and I`d be wearing sweatpants or something. I swear to you, at one point in my life, I believe I actually had Mork from Ork rainbow suspenders. Really.

But that is nothing compared to Kevin Logan from Gary, Indiana. Kevin has decided to show up at his high school prom wearing an elegant fuchsia gown and high heels, and here`s a picture of it. Oh, yes, that`s lovely.

The only problem here with this is his school doesn`t allow boys to wear dresses to the prom. Damn those hate mongers. So he was given his money back and told, you know, go home and change, freak boy. But he didn`t really just do that.

Tell me what. Let me play a game here. You tell me. You guess what Kevin did next. Here it is. Did he, A, change his clothes and enjoy the prom? B, skip his prom and watch my cable show and then later cancel cable? Or, C, did he consider suing the school for being antigay?

If you guessed c, you`re exactly right. He`s thinking about suing the school.

Here`s the thing, Dame Edna, you can do whatever you want on your own time, but your school, if they have a dress code, which applies to everyone, you`re not exempt. I`m not a lawyer. I am a thinker.

And let me ask you this. Where were Kevin`s parents when he decided to wear a dress? Why didn`t they say at some point, he`s coming down in the dress. "Hey, Kev, what the hell are you wearing, man? Why don`t you throw some slacks on?"

When I tuck my son into bed at night, I tell him every night, "You can be anything you want to be. You can be a president, you can be a ball player, as long as you work hard and you`re happy. If wearing a dress makes you happy, I don`t get it, but fine. But I`m warning you, son, they might not let you go to your prom."

Bill Handel is an attorney, host of "Handel on the Law" from KFI in Los Angeles.

Hello, Bill.

BILL HANDEL, HOST, KFI`S "HANDEL ON THE LAW": Hello, Glenn.

BECK: Did you see the picture of him?

HANDEL: Yes. It`s -- the color is fabulous. The fuchsia makes it all happen here.

BECK: His skin tones, I think he`s like a six or a seven.

HANDEL: Yes, pretty impressive.

BECK: Until I met my wife, I`m used to two. He`s a pretty good looking -- you know?

HANDEL: You know, the fascinating part about this, and of course, the ACLU lawyer is going to go crazy with this.

BECK: Sure.

HANDEL: And it really has to do with, No. 1, gender discrimination and where that`s going now, Glenn. And the argument`s going to be, you can`t discriminate against gender discrimination, no matter how confused you are with gender.

I mean, when you and I went to high school, I wore a wonderful dress to my high school prom and no one cared.

BECK: Oh, I did, too. Not pumps but flats.

HANDEL: Today`s it`s a different story.

But here`s the problem the school has. This kid for a year is wearing girl`s clothing. A year, he has makeup on. He has earrings on. He has the weave going. He has the nail polis polish.

BECK: Let me ask you this, Bill.

HANDEL: Yes.

BECK: Don`t we as a society, don`t we have the right to say, what the hell is wrong with you?

HANDEL: Yes, unless it discriminates one of the big five: religion, race, creed and now it looks like gender discrimination. And this may fly under the radar. And that`s the part that`s so much fun about this.

So the school is going to argue -- here`s the school saying, "We`ve let you dress like a crazy out of control kid who has no idea what your gender is for a year. You show up in a dress at the prom and we`ve got some problems."

Now, which way the courts are going to go, I have no idea. But I`ll tell you, Mary Steele, who`s the superintendent, by the way, assistant superintendent, who insists it`s the dress code and not the homosexuality part.

BECK: It`s not a gay thing.

HANDEL: Yes. By the way, this may shock you. Kevin is gay.

BECK: No.

HANDEL: What a shocker this one is.

BECK: If you tell me that that guy that I saw on "American Idol" last night. I`m going to be really...

HANDEL: Was that fabulous or what?

BECK: Yes, it is.

HANDEL: The point is that the superintendent is saying it`s only a dress code issue. It`s not. It really is two things. No. 1, gender discrimination is. I think she has a problem with the color, to be honest with you. I think if it had been a different color, she would have let him in.

BECK: Yes.

HANDEL: No. 2, her -- his mom, by the way, is totally backing him up. I`ll bet you they change clothes every day. They go through her closet.

BECK: Bill, I had a lady on yesterday. We were -- we`re doing this piece on unbridled consumption. All week we`ve been doing this series. And we had a mom on and she was saying, "I`ve got to take my daughter into daycare right away."

I mean, I`ve had calls from people on my radio show that say they take their daughter in and their son in at four months old, because it`s good for socialization. I don`t see a problem with socialization. I mean, I think our kids are pretty well adjusted. They can, you know, socialize with other kids.

Here`s the problem. How are you -- how are you expected to fit in and be able to, you know, fit in with society and your friends if you`re a guy wearing a dress?

HANDEL: Yes, well, Kevin is not interested in doing anything other but wear a dress. This is a kid who`s very comfortable in his confused sexuality. Here`s a guy who`s going to be a cross dresser, probably for the rest of his life. I have a feeling he`s far more comfortable about wearing a dress. As his mother said, this is who this kid`s been his whole life.

BECK: Look, you know what? I actually got a call from a guy who is a cross dresser. I don`t know if we have it as one of the radio bumps today. Guy was a cross dresser, wears -- is married, has children.

HANDEL: Yes.

BECK: And he told me today, he said there`s no inappropriate time. He would go to his mother`s funeral a dress.

HANDEL: Yes.

BECK: Come on.

HANDEL: Good friends of yours, Glenn?

BECK: No, just a caller. Just one of those whack jobs that listen to the show.

HANDEL: Just wondered.

BECK: Holy cow. Tell me -- let`s go to the San Diego here.

HANDEL: yes.

BECK: We`ve got about less than a minute now. Tell me what`s happening with the cross in San Diego.

HANDEL: OK. Mount Soledad. The cross has been there for 17 years.

BECK: Yes.

HANDEL: An atheist files a lawsuit saying you can`t have a big cross on a public piece of land.

BECK: Yes.

HANDEL: Excuse me. This thing is coming out of my ear, as always.

BECK: It`s all right.

HANDEL: And what ends up happening is the courts over a period of years is saying, "The cross has got to go, the cross has got to go." So they transfer it to federal land. They transfer it back to private property. They`re going back and forth on it.

And here it is, separation of church and state. The cross is going to go. There is no question you can`t have a cross or menorah or a Koran or anything else on public land.

BECK: You know what? I`ve got to tell you. You are living -- you are living in a state that just boggles the mind.

HANDEL: Isn`t that wonderful?

BECK: From California, Bill Handel.

HANDEL: Yes, that`s right. And the dress -- the attorney arguing the case is going to show up in a dress, and it`s a man.

BECK: If you put -- let me tell you something. If you put Jesus on that cross and he was wearing a dress, I defy you to be able to take it down in California.

HANDEL: That`s right.

BECK: Thanks a lot, Bill. Appreciate it. Bye-bye.

ANNOUNCER: This is Glenn Beck.

BECK: All right. I just have to admit, I`m screwed. Now that "American Idol" over, what am I going to do with myself? Read? That`s not going to happen. I`ve said it once and I`ll say it a million times: reading is for suckers and communists.

Spend more time with my family? They`re not very good singers, and I`ve heard all their boring stories. "Here`s when I did at school today, Dad."

Actually, my staff would like your suggestions on how I should spend my time until "Idol" comes back next year. Me? I could care less. But they think they`ll get me a few good laughs coming from you. E-mail GlennBeck@CNN.com with your suggestions.

Now, as you all know, Taylor won last night. Thank you America! As for Katharine? I`m sure that, you know, we`ll be seeing her in the local production of "Beauty and the Beast" very, very soon.

I honestly -- I was skeptical about how they could cram five minutes of entertainment into a two-hour special, but they pulled it off. It was a train wreck. Don`t get me wrong. But I loved every minute of, you know, the about 15 minutes of it that I saw.

My favorite part was when the Clay Aiken, the Clay Aiken look-alike got surprised by the actual Clay Aiken. Roll this. This is great.

Yes. He is -- this is creepy here, isn`t it? It`s just a little creepy.

I got to tell you, man. There were so many layers of weirdness to this. I don`t even know where to begin. Let`s try this.

First of all, Clay Aiken I think has officially morphed into KD Lang. Second of all, the trembling hands-to-the-face expression of utter shock, you know. I mean, dude, you`re meeting Clay Aiken, not winning the showcase showdown.

The pinnacle of discomfort is not just this. I think it`s when the fake Clay and the he/she Clay sing the duet together before being interrupted by Ryan Seacrest, like this.

Ryan is saying, really stop sings. It`s just amazing. Just -- America, just know that some day you`ll be able to sit down with your grandkids and you can say, "I remember when I saw the gayest moment in television history." It was last night. I`m just saying. Just saying.

Back in a minute.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: But I think there are dress codes, and you have a right to enforce those dress codes, you know? Especially in school. Don`t you -- can we stop making school about clothing? Can we stop making school about statements? It`s not about statements, man, you know.

Bottom line is you don`t have to stop a girl from dressing like a guy. But they can, if they want to.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: All right. All week we`ve been doing a special series called "Unbridled Consumption." It`s a look at America`s out-of-control spending, and our insane obsession with all things that are material.

This week, we`ve looked at everything from million-dollar bar mitzvahs to Gucci collars for your dog. And now, I`ve got to tell you. I`ve been dreading this one all day.

It`s apparently time to look at me. To be perfectly honest, I have no idea what to expect from this next package. Only that my producers told me it`s balanced, it`s fair, and I can`t see it before it airs. There you go.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Unbridled Glenn, a Glenn Beck program special investigation. All week, Glenn Beck has been railing against what he called the unbridled consumption of America. On this very program, Beck blamed many, if not all of society`s ills on excessive consumerism.

BECK: We`ll do anything to drive the right war, wear the right labels, watch the right plasma, no matter what the cost. If we can solve this problem, individually, of out of control spending, I`ve got to tell you, I think we solve a lot of our problems.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: A very bold statement, indeed, especially coming from a man whose very life is now spending wildly out of control.

Throughout Glenn Beck`s controversial career, he`s been plagued by allegations of excessive excessiveness. Wild fluctuations of weight gain. Rampant binge ice cream eating and three hours of nonstop immigration talk on his radio show without a potty break.

In fact, just this week, on his TV program, Beck was seen by literally hundreds of viewers accepting a gift from a beautiful super model. The gift, an $11,000 pen, which can now be found on eBay with a starting bid of $49.95.

We tried to reach the Beck camp but were denied repeated requests for an interview. But our investigation did uncover one smoking gun. This homemade video, allegedly produced by Beck`s P.R. machine, in a shameless attempt to portray their client in a more positive light. Let`s take a look.

BECK: Hi. Welcome to my house. This is just kind of a place that I can get away from it all. Just, you know, leave the television behind. Leave the radio after three hours on the radio every day and then an hour on television. It`s a place where I can come and just, you know, not be the TV guy. Just relax and leave it all behind. Leave it at the office.

So this is -- this is our kitchen. And you can really never have enough counter space. Dani, this is about me. We needed a room where we would just keep carpet remnants and so we just keep carpet remnants in here. And it`s working out pretty well for us here.

Just to keep those -- in case we ever need the carpet pieces, we have them here.

This is where, you know, we would have friends over to play pool and just kind of hang out. Unfortunately, I don`t know how to play pool, and you know, we don`t really have any friends. So, but, if I -- I come up here and I imagine having fun with friends and stuff like that.

Do you even know what this thing is? It`s kind of cool.

Yes, I think the premise on this -- I think it comes with balls and -- no, surprisingly enough, it doesn`t.

So these are the four tuxedos that I have. And it`s not -- it`s not that it`s, you know, excessive. It`s that I have such great weight fluctuations that this one is really fat. This one is semi-fat. This one is really fat. And this one is my current weight. And so every time I have to go give a speech -- you know, there should be a place where you can just go and borrow them for an event.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: At this point it`s still unclear what the people inside the Beck camp plan to do with this footage, but several media consultants we spoke with all seem to agree that the best thing Beck could do at this point is come clean and admit he has a problem and stop wearing pink.

BECK: Man, I look good in pink.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

BECK: All right. Bruce Wallin, executive managing editor of the "Robb Report" which is honestly something my producer Stu turned me on to. I like to read it just for the laughs, man.

Tonight, it reviews the world`s best luxury goods and services. And I don`t know how rich these people have to be to afford the stuff in the magazine.

Hello, welcome to the program, Bruce.

BRUCE WALLIN, EXECUTIVE MANAGING EDITOR, "ROBB REPORT": Thank you.

BECK: They tell me you`ve got -- you`ve reviewed some of the big items. What have you got?

WALLIN: Well, every year we do our best of the best issue. It`s an annual issue, and we review the best products across all categories that we cover.

We can start today with the -- our winner in the personal aircraft category, which is the Javelin jet.

BECK: Yes.

WALLIN: This is -- I mean, it`s like the Lamborghini or the Ferrari.

BECK: That`s a bad jet there. That would be a boat that I`m seeing now. I mean, it`s a cool jet if it can also double as a boat.

WALLIN: We`ve got a boat, too. Want a boat?

BECK: There`s the jet. The Javelin jet. Now is this -- because I`ve got to tell you, my jet only goes about 600 miles an hour, and it`s so yesterday. How fast does this go and who buys it?

WALLIN: Well, you`re not going to go any faster than that in this one. This one also tops out at about 600 miles an hour.

BECK: Wow.

WALLIN: I mean, the thing looks like a fighter jet. You pull into a private airport in this thing, you`re definitely going to turn some heads.

BECK: Right, right.

WALLIN: And it`s a $2.8 million jet.

BECK: Oh, well, that`s no big deal. I think I have that in my wallet. Now, all right. One other item and then we have something that I`m actually wearing. Go ahead.

WALLIN: Should we go to the yacht or the...?

BECK: Well, we saw the yacht. Unless it comes with the chicks on the deck.

WALLIN: That`s the Feretti (ph). That`s the $5.9 million yacht vessel.

BECK: OK.

WALLIN: We also have the Hennessey Ellipse cognac (ph). This is a blend of seven different cognacs from the past 200 years. It`s a special edition.

BECK: How much is it?

WALLIN: This is $4,200 for this special bottle.

BECK: As an alcoholic, I would have been broke in about one drink. OK. And then I`m wearing this watch. This is -- can we put this up here? Yes. This is beautiful. Tell me about this.

WALLIN: You are wearing a $1.5 million watch. It`s the Vacheron Constantine Tordeo (ph), and it is the most complicated watch ever made, which means...

BECK: Got a lot of parts to it.

WALLIN: It has the most moving parts and mechanical movements in any watch.

BECK: Now let me just show this. This should, for $1.5 million. Can you get a shot of this again? For $1.5 million, this should get up and make me breakfast.

It doesn`t. But one thing it doesn`t have that my watch has, a light. My watch has a light. So, just saying.

Thanks a lot, Bruce, appreciate it.

WALLIN: Thank you.

BECK: You bet. Bye-bye.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECK: All right. Every once in awhile we like to check in with those hate mongering whack jobs who are on radio all over the country. Today we check in with Roe Conn to see what`s on the mind of the American public and with the buzz. From Chicago is Roe Conn from WLS 890 AM.

Hello, Roe.

ROE CONN, RADIO TALK SHOW HOST: You sexy beast you. What`s happening in Chicago?

BECK: Well, actually, the first conversation is about Ray Nagin, of all people. Even though that`s a city that`s straight down the street from Chicago

CONN: Sure.

It`s a huge story, because let`s face it. Here`s a guy who screwed up that city and gets reelected as the mayor of his self proclaimed chocolate town, which makes absolutely no sense to anybody. And my favorite part of that story is the people of New Orleans thought he was the better choice.

BECK: How amazed were you when -- I mean, I hate to break it to you, New Orleans, but you get whatever you deserve. You know, you`re in for a living nightmare. But I thank the people of New Orleans, sincerely, for the comedy dollars that are going to be rolling in on my program and yours, I`m sure.

CONN: Here`s the deal, though. Over the weekend, they tried to do a disaster preparedness drill, and they had to evacuate this small little town. And they couldn`t do it.

BECK: Really?

CONN: Because they couldn`t get their communications to work between the state and the federal people, and we`ve got six days until the hurricane season stars.

BECK: Yes. You know, I would make fun of this but then, you know, being here in New York City, God forbid something ever happens here. I bet the communications haven`t been fixed here either.

CONN: I`m sure that`s true.

BECK: Yes.

CONN: All right. Hillary Clinton is in the news. Hillary Clinton, of course, from Chicago, from Park Ridge, Illinois.

BECK: It`s weird. She`s also from New York, too.

CONN: Isn`t that funny?

BECK: Yes.

CONN: Is she a Yankee fan?

BECK: She`s every fan.

CONN: Cubs fan? What is she?

BECK: She`s the common person.

CONN: Here`s what she wants to do. She wants to limit the federal speed limit to 55 miles per hour.

BECK: That`s good because that means we`ll all -- let me do the math. We`ll all be driving 70 then.

CONN: She really knows how to tick off male voters. Don`t you think? Isn`t that what she`s best at?

BECK: Is anybody going to actually drive 55 miles an hour? Have you ever been out west? You know, in these little teeny states here in the east. But I mean, even going out to Illinois. What`s the point of 55? You want to kill yourself, man. There`s nothing around for miles. It should be 100.

CONN: She has the clinical instincts of Nurse Ratchet, I think. Not a chance she`ll ever become president.

All right. How about this. Humanity as a whole, dead in the air.

BECK: Yes.

CONN: The FCC is actually going to sell off two licenses for cell phone communications on airplanes. So now you can sit next to two...

BECK: I will tell you, I`m a little torn on this. I really am. For two reasons. One, it`s a good thing. I`d like to be able to have cell phone service on the plane.

The bad news is, I don`t want to sit next to the guy who has the cell phone service, you know, because it will be four hours in a plane of "Get out of here. No, I`m on a plane ride. Can you hear me? Hello, can you hear me?"

CONN: Yes, sitting next to a sumo wrestler on the plane with a phone is not a very good idea.

BECK: Yes, not a good idea.

CONN: All right. And then finally in Chicago great story. It happened right here on the street in back of me. A couple days ago, Chicago police had got a parking ticket from a meter maid. He calls the meter maid across the street to explain the parking ticket, and then arrests her for jay walking.

BECK: That`s great.

CONN: That`s at greatest story of all time.

BECK: Thank you very much. From Chicago, Roe Conn. WLS. Bye-bye.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: The FBI has conducted a raid of congressional office and confiscated the things that belong to William Jefferson. They went to his house, and they found the $100,000 cash made to look like lasagna, all wrapped up in foil, in his freezer. Even Nancy Pelosi has called for this guy to resign one of the committees that he`s on.

Well, Nancy, I got to give you some credit. I think this is the second time -- maybe the second time in my life that I have actually agreed with something that you`ve said.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: There is a lot of buzz in Washington today about scandal, embezzlement, corruption, and I`m not talking about Mr. Jefferson and the president stepping into that whole mess.

No, I`m talking about a call from some senators who have suddenly concluded that the United Nation needs reform. No, not the United Nations! The U.N. is good. It keeps the world safe, boys and girls. It gives us oil for food.

Think about it. They`re nations, and they`re united. They`re all together. Where would we be without the U.N.?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: This is "News on the March." From the ashes of World War II rises a beacon of hope to world peace. Standing on the eastern shore of Manhattan, it`s called the United Nations.

Outside, each member nation proudly flies its flag, knowing its delegates possess diplomatic immunity to park illegally at any meter in Manhattan without ever getting a ticket.

Inside this peculiar edifice meets the general assembly whose decisions have no legal binding force whatsoever, for it`s on the Security Council where the real work takes place. Five of its members hold permanent seats: the U.S., the U.K., and their good friends, the Soviet Union, China and, uh, France, any one of which at any time can veto any proposal, even though it`s not really called a veto.

And there it is: the Foucault pendulum, a gift from the government of Netherlands, manifest proof of the movement, the rotation of our Earth, whose fate lies with those who meet in this very building to prevent chaos and terror and the outbreak of a really bad war ever again.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: So here we are, 60 years later. What exactly has the U.N. accomplished? Kofi Annan`s son got a sports car out of the deal. That`s pretty good.

David Bossie is here. He produced the documentary "Broken Promises." He makes a pretty strong argument for dismantling the U.N. and throwing it into the East River, which I`m not opposed to.

Hey, David, how are you?

DAVID BOSSIE, PRESIDENT, CITIZENS UNITED FDN.: Good. Thanks for having me, Glenn.

BECK: Let me ask you: The U.N., I`m trying to come up with something that it does that`s good. Help me out.

(LAUGHTER)

BOSSIE: It`s hard. It really is. You have to -- it`s a struggle. Look, there are good people and good countries, like the United States, that want to participate in an organization like the U.N. that wants to help people with feeding the hungry, and education, and health care. Those are good goals. And sometimes the U.N. can do some things right, but the bureaucracy...

BECK: Hold it, hold it, I`ve got one. Angelina Jolie is on television more often because she does, you know, things for the U.N. That`s a positive.

BOSSIE: Well, it is. I agree with you. I like to see her on screen, as well.

BECK: Just trying to be fair and balanced.

BOSSIE: But, look, the United Nations, it`s a struggle to find it. Look, it`s corrupt from the top down. Just in the last recent days, Kofi Annan himself, the general secretary, had to stop funding going from the U.N. to an organization that he is going to head when he leaves the U.N.

The problem is from the top down, oil for food, Iraq, Iran, one problem after another.

BECK: You know what kills me is they`re just useless on anything that really matters. And we just keep giving them more power. You know, one of the things -- and correct me if I`m wrong -- is this true? One of the things that blew me away is when I found out, if we wanted to -- not that we`re going to do, but if ever wanted to tear down the Statue of Liberty, we couldn`t, because it`s now a world heritage park, which is protected by the U.N., right?

BOSSIE: Well, look, you know, American sovereignty is just that. We can do whatever we want. The U.N. is not going to be able to stop us...

BECK: Really?

BOSSIE: ... from doing things. I think a strong president, like this president, who stands up to the U.N. regularly wouldn`t have a problem doing whatever he needs to do. However, that being said, the U.N. has encroached on powers here in this country, trying to go after the Second Amendment, the first Amendments. You know, they know no bounds.

BECK: Yes, well, it`s a good idea in theory, but when you have a Security Council with Russia, China, France, there`s no way -- why aren`t we in Darfur? Why aren`t we in Darfur? There`s too many politics and dirty politicians that just won`t do anything.

BOSSIE: Well, the U.N. was broken right from the beginning, because China and then the Soviet Union were involved at the signing. It was a broken organization right from the beginning. It is broken today, 60 years later.

You know, we, the United States, tried to work with them and try to push them in the right direction and coax them. But, in Iraq, Iran -- in Iraq, the U.N. was completely off track, 16 resolutions to no avail. And then, of course, they`re a toothless tiger.

And Iran, unfortunately, to the detriment of the United States` national security, as well as the world`s, we are again looking at a U.N. doing nothing.

BECK: You know, I think about Iran. And, you know, people are looking and say, "We need to send in the United Nations and inspectors." Have we not learned from the past? That ain`t going to do anything! All that does is slow the process down.

BOSSIE: It is shocking to hear that the French, and the Germans, and the Russians, or the -- you know, want to, once again, let the U.N. lead.

BECK: It`s all about money.

BOSSIE: The U.N. cannot lead on anything.

BECK: No, no.

BOSSIE: And I think that the corruption and, really, the malfeasance that goes on there in New York is, you know, uncorrectable, and maybe the U.S. needs to start a new organization.

BECK: Right. But, you know what, I got to tell you. David, I appreciate your time. Thank you so much. I don`t want to throw the U.N. entirely under the bus. I do -- and I mean this sincerely -- I want to thank them for Angelina Jolie. And if you want to have any more hot stars go to parts of the country and the world that we need to see, you go ahead and send them.

Thanks. David, thanks a lot.

BOSSIE: Thank you.

BECK: Bye.

All right, let`s go "Straight to Hill," Erica Hill, anchor of "PRIME NEWS" on Headline News. Hello, Erica.

ERICA HILL, CNN HEADLINE NEWS ANCHOR: Hello there. How are you?

BECK: Oh, well, you know...

HILL: It`s Thursday.

BECK: Another day, another dollar. What`s happening?

HILL: The big story of the day is the verdict in the Enron case. This is something people have been waiting for, for years at this point. So here`s what went down: Former chief exec Jeffrey Skilling and company founder Kenneth Lay both found guilty of fraud and conspiracy.

BECK: No.

HILL: Here`s the count. Skilling was found guilty on 19 of the 28 counts against him, including one count of insider trading.

BECK: Right.

HILL: Lay was found guilty on all six counts of conspiracy and fraud.

BECK: This is so wrong. He was just -- he didn`t have any idea that this was going on.

HILL: Maybe you should have been on the jury.

BECK: Yes, yes, he would have gotten a worse sentence then he`s already received. Let me ask you this: When do they sentence him?

HILL: Sentencing is set for the week of September 11th, not an exact date yet.

BECK: Is there a chance he could have, like, an 1,800-square-foot cell, one in maybe Aspen and another cell...

HILL: You know, I`m not really sure...

BECK: ... in the Mediterranean?

HILL: ... where he may exactly go. I`m guessing the Mediterranean might be out.

BECK: Really?

HILL: If it`s in, then maybe I should be found guilty on some of these charges, because I wouldn`t mind living, you know, along the Mediterranean.

But, again, sentencing isn`t until September, but what some legal experts have been saying to CNN is basically these guys could be look at decades, 20 to 30 years behind bars. Keep in mind, though, Skilling`s attorney has already come out and said, "Hey, we`re definitely going to appeal this."

BECK: Well, of course. With all the money that he`s stolen, he`s got -- you know what? I saw an estimate of what this trial cost. It was staggering how much money this cost, his legal defense, and they really didn`t seem to be worth the money, did they? Not really good.

HILL: I guess we`ll find out if there`s an appeal or not, and then see what happens, and then, you know, that`ll be the answer.

BECK: Well, of course there`s going to be an appeal. But you know what`s really sad, is you can molest a child here in America and get seven years. You steal money and you get 30. You know, not that I have a problem sending him away for 30, 50, 60 years, but...

(CROSSTALK)

HILL: But you`re saying there`s an imbalance there?

BECK: Shouldn`t it be, if you molest a child, shouldn`t you be away forever? But shouldn`t you be away for longer than five, seven, 10 years?

HILL: I think there are probably a lot of people who would agree with you on that one.

BECK: I caught her again. She has another opinion.

HILL: It wasn`t an opinion. I said a lot of people would agree with you on that one.

BECK: Oh, you carefully crafted that one.

HILL: I only have opinions off the air, my friend.

BECK: Right, OK, next story.

HILL: You know, speaking of which, I should look and see, because I don`t think it`s really the next. OK, we`re going to get to sentencing in just a minute in another case.

Real quickly, though, we want to update you on a story that may have affected you this morning, I`m not sure, but plenty of people probably on your staff. And the good news is it could be a much smoother, faster ride home for rail commuters in the Northeast tonight.

This was a big deal this morning: Trains are now running again. Power is back along the northeast corridor after rush hour outage this morning stranded thousands of people, disabled trains between Washington and New York. Now, Amtrak, which owns those affected rail lines, still not disclosing the cause of the power outage.

BECK: Those are all the little people. I mean, the people who take the helicopters in -- Donald Trump wasn`t affected.

HILL: Like yourself?

BECK: Oh, yes, I take the helicopter.

HILL: Or were you commuting with the Donald today?

BECK: You know? Can I tell you something? The Amtrak thing just kills me. Have you ridden on Amtrak? I`m not going to ask you that, because I don`t want to get you in trouble.

HILL: I have. No, I used to take trains a lot. I grew up in Connecticut and I went to school in Boston, so I would take the train home between school. When I worked in New York, I would take the train to the city. I actually love trains.

BECK: I mean, just a short answer would have been OK with me, Erica. I mean, jeez, she just goes on, and on, and on.

HILL: Listen, I thought the deal on your show was there were no such thing as short answers.

BECK: For me, not for you. Here`s the thing. You know, I was...

HILL: Oh, laying down the law on the GLENN BECK SHOW.

BECK: I was on -- I took Amtrak. And, you know, there was a lot of these types that were like, "We`d like more, please. Help us, please." A baggage handler had worked for Amtrak for about 30 years, looked at me, and said, "Man, I wish the government would stop giving them money, because if they would go broke, somebody would actually come in and fix this thing."

HILL: Really?

BECK: Yes, believe it or not, somebody has a job and an opinion, but not a journalist like you, one of real quality. Erica Hill, thanks a lot.

HILL: See you later.

BECK: Bye-bye.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECK: All right. What would you say if I told you that one of your favorite actors from the classic TV show, "Head of the Class," classic, was an immigrant? No! What`s worse, he likes folk music and plays a banjo.

Actually, Billy Connolly is a comedian, an actor, a national treasure in his native Scotland. And, tonight, he`s performing here in New York in a one-man show, Billy Connolly live.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

BECK: So you`ve been -- you`re an immigrant here to the United States?

BILLY CONNOLLY, COMEDIAN-ACTOR: Yes, yes.

BECK: And there`s a great -- as you know, a great debate here in the United States about this.

CONNOLLY: About immigration?

BECK: Yes.

CONNOLLY: I`m legal and all that.

BECK: Yes, no, no, no, I`m not...

CONNOLLY: I didn`t climb fences or anything.

BECK: Yes, that`s what he said. Bring the INS in! No, it`s not that. You know, I was wondering -- you know, one of the big debates that they`re having now in the Senate is, you know, whether we should have English as the official language, and I`m wondering, you know, how have you gone this long without being able to speak English?

CONNOLLY: Yes, it`s kind of weird. I had to try really hard, you know?

BECK: We debated whether we should put subtitles underneath you.

CONNOLLY: Because not only is the Scottish accent kind of peculiar to some people`s ears, but there`s also a Glaswegian thing of not moving your mouth when you`re speaking, you know?

(CROSSTALK)

BECK: I`m just going to smile like I understand what you`re saying.

CONNOLLY: So I had to learn to move my mouth and all that and to communicate.

BECK: Let me ask you, because I don`t think most Americans do know anything about Scotland. If there was like...

CONNOLLY: Geography is not your strong point in America.

BECK: No, it`s not. I mean, it`s all the way over there. The question I have is: Let`s say there was a discount airfare to Ireland, and I went to Ireland and didn`t get a chance to go to Scotland, would I have really missed anything?

CONNOLLY: Massively so, yes.

BECK: Really?

CONNOLLY: Actually, Scotland looks the way Ireland thinks it looks, you know?

(LAUGHTER)

BECK: The Scottish and the Irish, they get so -- if you say, "Hey, you`re from Ireland," you say that to a Scotsman and he`s going to take your head off.

CONNOLLY: We`re the same people. The Scotch were an Irish tribe, actually.

BECK: Really? Now, you wear the kilt, but they don`t?

CONNOLLY: They do. Well, they do when they want you -- they have pipe bands, and they have tartan and stuff.

BECK: Is that why you moved away? Is that why you came to America?

(CROSSTALK)

CONNOLLY: You don`t like it?

BECK: Oh, you know, at funerals.

CONNOLLY: Oh, you see, you`re missing out.

(CROSSTALK)

BECK: ... only like at funerals because you`re, like, praying for death.

CONNOLLY: And for some reason policemen get bag pipes at the funerals, as well.

BECK: I didn`t know if there was something weird with policemen, but it`s always -- they`re always...

(CROSSTALK)

CONNOLLY: They always get bagpipes.

(CROSSTALK)

BECK: No, you know, you don`t ever want to trust a guy with a billy club in a dress in a bag pipe, you know what I`m saying?

CONNOLLY: If a guy is walking the streets in a skirt and you`re wondering if he`s brave or not, my god. We marched up the Khyber Pass in those things.

BECK: Really? You know, the other thing about accents, Scottish accents, it makes it sound like everything you`re saying is a question. Have you noticed that?

CONNOLLY: Do you think so? I thought that`s what Americans did.

BECK: See, that even sounded like a question.

CONNOLLY: I`m serious. No, well, that was a wee question.

BECK: A wee question. A wee question. I hear you live in a castle.

CONNOLLY: Yes, well, it`s a baronial house, really. It`s the kind of house where the lord of the manor would live above the village, you know, the guy who owns all the land. He would live there.

BECK: Where do you -- in Los Angeles?

CONNOLLY: No, that`s my Scottish one.

BECK: Oh.

CONNOLLY: Well, I had a house in Los Angeles until very recently we sold that. My wife bought a yacht to sail around the world. She`s a psychologist, and she writes books, so she`s away doing that. But I have a house in Scotland and a house in the Mediterranean.

BECK: Could you work the word "wee" into more sentences. Because, I mean, you don`t hear that very often, and it works for you. It works.

CONNOLLY: Yes, it`s a funny little word, isn`t it, "wee"?

BECK: Yes, it is. So you`re doing kind of a one-man show. It`s not really stand-up; it`s more like a show?

CONNOLLY: You know, I`m a comedian, and I just stand up there. So I suppose I`m a stand-up comedian. And there`s no one else on, so I suppose it`s a one-man show. I don`t know. Some American comedian said a one-man show is a stand-up with furniture.

BECK: How true it is.

CONNOLLY: I don`t really have furniture. I have a stool.

BECK: Oh, then you`re a stand-up comedian.

CONNOLLY: So I guess I`m a stand-up comedian. And I`ve lived in America for 15 years, but I`ve performed everywhere else in the world. I came here to do a sitcom, "Head of the Class." I replaced Harold Hesseman for a couple of years. And so I just lived here, and my kids went to school here and all that. They still live there in Los Angeles, my children.

And so I`m going to -- Most of my work came all over the rest of the world, Australia, New Zealand, Britain and Ireland.

BECK: What`s the most perplexing thing and the best thing about America?

CONNOLLY: The best thing about America is the wee bit of string you get on a tea bag.

BECK: Wee, yes. That`s the best thing?

CONNOLLY: Oh, that`s a fantastic idea. And people filling their bags in the supermarket. You have to do that yourself in Britain.

BECK: Really, it`s the small things about America.

CONNOLLY: You`re looking for your money.

BECK: Sure.

CONNOLLY: America likes to hit -- they like to make your life easy. I suppose it`s good commerce. If your life`s easy, you`ll pay better and quicker...

BECK: And the most perplexing thing?

CONNOLLY: The most perplexing thing is the geography, the attitude to geography.

BECK: Congratulations. Oh, I thought you meant it was perplexing like you didn`t know where everything was. I was going to say congratulations, you`re officially an American.

CONNOLLY: Oh, no, I just -- Americans don`t know where anything is.

BECK: Really. OK, let`s see, North Dakota and South Dakota, which one is on the top?

CONNOLLY: South Dakota.

BECK: See.

(LAUGHTER)

Thanks a lot, Billy. I appreciate it. Best of luck to you.

CONNOLLY: Thank you very much, indeed. What a pleasure.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I mean, something`s wrong.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What`s wrong is I can`t touch my boyfriend without killing him. Other than that, I`m wonderful.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, I don`t think that`s fair. Have I ever put any pressure on you?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You`re a guy, Bobby...

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECK: All right. Welcome to "Ask Glenn," where you can ask me anything about anything. And instead of just e-mailing you back like any normal person, I`ll answer it on TV with absolutely no regard as to whether you`re actually watching or not.

Greg from Philadelphia writes in, "Glenn, big fan of `Lost` and loved Michelle Rodriguez, but I hear she`s going back to jail for a DUI. I saw her mugshot. And, in my opinion, it`s the best-looking mugshot of all time. Am I wrong? Greg, Philadelphia."

Greg, thanks for the e-mail. Yes, Michelle Rodriguez is going back to jail, this time for 60 days. But what`s really nice to see is that, while some people focus on the crime or the potential effects on society, you go straight for the hotness of the mugshot. Nice, brother. No, it is.

So does Michelle Rodriguez have the world`s sexiest mug shot? Bring it up. Yes, brother, that is a good candidate. She`s looking pretty good, fit, trim, sober-ish.

But, honestly, there are other nominees. There`s not like there`s that much competition. First, there`s James Brown and his classic mugshot. But not surprisingly, not the worst hair of all time. That goes to Nick Nolte.

Plus, you have to love the shirt here that I think he stole right directly from Magnum P.I.`s dead grandfather.

My favorite, though, is the underrated James Traficant. You remember this guy? You should, at least, remember the hair that doubles as a hat in the winter.

Then there`s the late Andre the Giant. I love this one, because of the mutton chops here. I mean, he`s making a statement, you know? If you`re going to go with sideburns, you commit to them, brother. You don`t stop when convention says so or when nearby children start to look terrified and run in horror.

Here`s a brand new nominee, Linda McBride (ph). Look at her. Oh, sexy? You bet. And I love the touch of several Band-aids on the glasses, which is always nice.

Oh, and, by the way, for all you people who call me up on the radio show and say, "Hey, don`t worry about these hot women having sex with students," Linda was arrested for having sex with a 13-year-old. Not quite as charming when she doesn`t look like Deb LaFave, huh?

But with competition like this, give the sexiest mugshot award to Michelle Rodriguez. No, our winner is -- we`re going to leave you with it -- Glen Campbell, brother. Oh, yes, sexy Glen. We`ll see you tomorrow, you sick, twisted freak.

END