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Should Child Molesters Be Allowed in Public Parks, Pools?; Should State Pay for Murderer`s Sex Change?; Prison Radio Calms Listeners

Aired June 1, 2006 - 19:00:00   ET


ANNOUNCER: And now a public service announcement from Glenn Beck.

GLENN BECK, HOST: As some of you may have noticed, yesterday, I was gravely ill. I am one of the millions of Americans who suffer from FSS, fake sickness syndrome.

FSS can strike at any time and without warning. Usually people with FSS start to feel its effects Monday through Friday before 8 a.m. or right before your wife wants you to visit her parents.

Signs of FSS include fake coughing, fake fever and, of course, fake vomiting. If you have any of these fake symptoms, please, don`t despair. Hope is there.


BECK: I mean, what, I`m out for a couple of days and the whole country goes to pot? What the hell is going on?

In Indianapolis a group of six child molesters and child rapists -- building a bridge. Are suing the city over a new ordinance that says pedophiles shouldn`t be allowed in public parks, playgrounds or swimming pools when children are there. Those hate mongers. I guess they think that violates their civil rights to fondle kids. Boo fricking hoo. But wait, there`s more.

Take a wild guess who`s defending them? Yes, yes, the ACLU. Here`s the thing. I`m all about rights and freedoms, but the moment you decide to rape a kid, call me crazy, I think you`ve pretty much given up whatever rights you had. Maybe next time you`ll keep your mitts off the kinder.

To the people who say, "Oh, these people, Glenn, they`re sick. We have to understand them. They need treatment, not punishment." Really? Why don`t you let pedophile Pete take your kids swimming? Me? Not so much.

And for the fine folks at the ACLU, if you had a choice to let your kids either, A, play in the park that didn`t allow child molesters, or, B, play in the park that welcomed child molesters and child rapists with open arms, which one would you pick? Yes. That`s what I thought.

John La Fond, he is a retired professor of constitutional law and criminal law. He`s also the author of "Preventing Sexual Violence: How Society Should Cope with Sex Offenders".

You actually believe, if I`m not mistaken, these freaks had a case.

JOHN LA FOND, AUTHOR, "PREVENTING SEXUAL VIOLENCE": Well, Glenn, I think these laws actually are constitutional. I just think they`re a waste of time and money. They won`t prevent sex crimes and they`ll give the public a false sense of safety.

BECK: Tell me, do you think that they should be allowed around, you know, swimming pools? Why -- why would a child molester want to be swimming in a pool with a bunch of kids?

LA FOND: Well, you know, most child molesters will not commit another sex crime. They have a low rate of recidivism.

BECK: That`s bull crap and you know it is. You ask the people in prison, three out of 10 say -- no, wait a minute, let me make sure. Yes, three out of 10 say that they did it with multiple children.

It`s not just an "Oh, geez, I don`t know what I was thinking. All of a sudden I was having sex with a kid. It was only that one time." Bull crap!

LA FOND: I agree with you. We ought to punish child sex offenders and we ought to punish them seriously. We also have to figure out which ones of them are likely to commit another crime and which ones aren`t? And the fact of the matter is...

BECK: Wait, wait, wait. How do you know that?

LA FOND: Well, there are now instruments that actually will give you a good sense of whether or not a sex offender is at high risk of committing another crime.

BECK: Boy, I`m -- I`m afraid to ask what those instruments are. Because instruments come to mind. When it comes to child offenders, instruments come to mind in my head, too. What instruments will see which ones will recommit or not?

LA FOND: These are actuarial risk assessments, really borrowed from the insurance industry. And they take a look at a person`s record, his history of offending and they can compute a pretty good statement of risk. Also...

BECK: Wait, wait, wait. We`ve taken our children`s safety in your head? You`re in Seattle right?

LA FOND: Yes, I am.

BECK: OK. I grew up in Seattle. I spent many years just doing this to my head to get the water out. Are you telling me that in your mind protecting our kids comes down to stats?

LA FOND: Well, you and I agree on one basic premise, Glenn. We both think we ought to prevent as many sex crimes as possible with the resources available. So we need -- we need laws that are tough and smart, and I`m telling you these laws are not smart.

BECK: OK. Then do this for me, convince me that raping a kid is not a "one strike you`re out" offense.

LA FOND: Well, you know, the fact of the matter is most sex offenders come back into the community after they`re served their prison time. And what we need to do is to identify the high-risk offenders, subject them to intensive supervision, mandatory treatment, lie detector tests and, if necessary, locator technology and focus our preventive efforts on those groups. To treat all sex offenders as equally dangerous is really not smart.

BECK: Again, one strike you`re out with me, John. I appreciate your time, thanks a lot.

By the way, I want to let everybody know, we asked the ACLU to be on the program today. For some reason they didn`t want to come on and defend this one. I don`t know. Maybe our time schedules just didn`t work out.

ANNOUNCER: And now another great moment in the history of the ACLU!

BECK: There was -- no, I`m all out.

ANNOUNCER: This has been another great moment in the history of the ACLU.

BECK: OK. In other freakishly disturbing sex news, prison inmate Robert Kosilek, who now goes by the name Michelle, killed his wife, got sent to jail and now want the state to pay for his sex change operation.

First of all, the absolute last place -- I mean, call me crazy, just my idea -- that you`d want to prance around with makeup and a dress on is a state prison.

Secondly, why should the taxpayer foot the bill for a convicted murder to get fake boobs? His/her lawyer actually said, quote, "We ask that gender identity disorder" -- makes me want to vomit just there -- "be treated like any other medical condition."

Let me ask you, Perry Mason, any other medical condition? This isn`t athlete`s foot we`re talking about.

Representative Mark Gundrum from Wisconsin, he had a similar case in his district. Convince me that the state should pay for a murderer`s sex change operation, Mark.

MARK GUNDRUM, WISCONSIN STATE REPRESENTATIVE: There`s no way I`ll convince you of that, because I think it`s absurd and ridiculous.

BECK: Thank you.

GUNDRUM: When you start having federal judges rule that this is a constitutional right, that`s when you`ve taken our law to the level of absurd and ridiculous.

BECK: This guy actually says that not helping him get the sex change operation is cruel and unusual punishment, which, I think, his wife might have claimed, you know, the strangling her there in the middle of the night might have been cruel and inhuman, as well.

GUNDRUM: Yes. My understanding of the Eighth Amendment was it was put in there to prevent boiling in oil, burning people at the stake and things like that.

BECK: Sure.

GUNDRUM: Not preventing the taxpayers from having to fund a sex change operation while you`re spending 50 years in prison.

BECK: Right. Hold on. I`m just looking at the picture. He is one sexy dude. I mean, he`s an ugly guy, but man, he makes one beautiful- looking woman.

From what I understand -- wow! From what I understand, we`ve already paid for the female hormone treatment, so he`s growing boobs. We have paid for his laser hair removal, which I think we should have spent it -- you know, as rich as he might be, I`d give him hair removal treatment for free on taxpayer dollars if we`re talking Andy Rooney. Just get rid of the ear hair and the eyebrows. But the guy in prison? How do we spend this without -- I mean, what is the -- what is the case for this?

GUNDRUM: Well, I can`t make one. It is absurd, and that`s why you only see these cases being brought either by the ACLU or other gay activist groups trying to advance an agenda through our courts. They`re doing the same thing here in Wisconsin, and it`s extremely troubling.

BECK: How`d you stop it in your state, or have you?

GUNDRUM: Well, we`re trying to. And what we did was our department of corrections was providing female hormone therapy for gender identity disorder, as some people like to call it. And what we actually had to do was pass a bill and put it on the governor`s desk, which he quietly signed behind closed doors to stop it. And then now the ACLU has even sued in federal court to get an injunction against having that bill go into effect.

BECK: I`ve got to tell you, I am so upset that the ACLU wouldn`t be on today, because I wanted to ask them one question. Has anything ever passed your desk that didn`t, you know, throw stones at Jesus that you said, "No, that one`s just insane! We couldn`t defend that one!"

Let me ask you, if you`re paying -- if the taxpayers are paying for all of this and we go ahead and give them a -- you know, sex change surgery, he said he killed his wife so he could begin his life as a woman. Wouldn`t that make us an accessory to murder after the fact -- after the fact?

GUNDRUM: Well, again, that gets to just how absurd and ridiculous this whole idea is, and the idea that someone might be suicidal if they`re not allowed to change their gender through a sex change operation while they`re spending the next 20 years in prison. I mean, that`s just absurd.

BECK: I mean, I don`t understand this anymore. I mean, we`re defending the rights of pedophiles to go play in children`s playgrounds. We`re worried about if somebody who`s a murderer who strangled his wife, you know, is suicidal.

I say save the state some money. Oh, right, oh, well, he got loose with his belt, too bad for us.

Mark, I appreciate it. Thanks a lot.

GUNDRUM: Thank you, Glenn.

BECK: You bet.

So if the guy does get his sex change operation, I mean, I`m just -- I`m trying to be a helper here, quite honestly, because it`s Massachusetts, I mean -- you know he`s going get it, right?

If he does get it, he`s going to need a new fashion look for the summer. And now here with makeover advice for convicted murder Robert/Michelle is our fashion expert, Adrianne Frost.

Hi, Adrian.

ADRIANNE FROST, FASHION EXPERT: Hi. Could I call you Glenda for this segment? Is that all right?

BECK: Well, the surgery hasn`t been finished yet, but the breasts are coming in nicely, aren`t they?

FROST: I know. They look lovely.

BECK: Yes. So what are the hot locks for gangly transsexual wife stranglers this summer?

FROST: Well, I think he`s already got kind of a Lindsay Lohan, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen look with the hair and the sunglasses.

BECK: Very nice.

FROST: So that`s good. I think once he, you know, starts going, maybe rip out some mattress foam and pad the butt and the hips to get, like, a J. Lo thing going. That might work.

BECK: Yes, but you wouldn`t want to advertise something that you couldn`t actually sell. You know what I`m saying?

FROST: OK. Well, maybe he can feminize the orange jumpsuit with some beading and sparkles.


FROST: He could go with, maybe, the honey-glazed carrots that they serve in the cafeteria.

BECK: Very nice. Very nice.

FROST: And I think he`s really going have to soften up his shiv.

BECK: How do you mean? Oh!

FROST: You know, paint some flowers on it.

BECK: Oh, that`s very nice.

FROST: You know, paint it pink, maybe.

BECK: Sure. I mean, if you really want to go, you might want to go the Hello Kitty route.

FROST: Absolutely. Maybe put a little bit of a Chococat on there.

BECK: That`s great. Adrianne...

FROST: And I think the other inmates are going to have to realize that this is a man who would kill for those pumps.

BECK: That`s great. Adrianne, thank you so much.

FROST: You`re welcome.

BECK: I appreciate it. Bye-bye.



BECK: Capitalism works. I hate to break it to all of the liberals, but capitalism works. What do you say we stick with it for awhile? You know, give it a whirl. I`m just saying.

By the way, percentage of people actually earning minimum wage, is it 20 percent? Actually earning minimum wage, 15 percent? Say 10 percent, 10 percent. Seven percent?

Five percent of our population is actually earning minimum wage. Five percent. That would be great. No, actually three percent.


BECK: Hey, when you -- when you listen to the radio do you enjoy good Christian-themed programming? If the answer is yes, the next time you`re down in Louisiana, check out KLSP, 97.1 -- 91.7 FM on your dial. In addition to gospel, they also play a wide variety of music and best of all no annoying commercials. And the DJs? They know a little something about "records."


SIRVORIS SUTTON, A.K.A. DJ SHAQ: Thank you so much for tuning in to Fearless (ph) 91.7.

BECK (voice-over): It`s a typical day at KLSP, 91.7 FM, a radio station that caters almost exclusively to an audience made up of the highly-coveted 18- to 45-year-old male demo.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Running real good here. I think they`re really good.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: KLSP Radio, the station that kicks behind the bricks.

SUTTON: My audience range from athletes to just average guys who just like to lay back in the dorms.

BECK: As general manager of KLSP radio, Burl Cain knows his audience better than just about anybody.

BURL CAIN, WARDEN: Murderers, rapists, armed robbers, convicted felons. The average sentence is about 88 years, and there`s 3,200 of them with life sentences.

BECK: Did I mention that Burl Cain is also the warden?

KLSP broadcasts live from the notorious Louisiana State Penitentiary in Angola, making this the only prison in the country with its very own radio station.

As far as business models go, KLSP seems like it can`t miss. There`s a captive audience, more than 5,000 listeners, with no competition from any of those morning zoos or those annoying talk radio stations.

In fact, here it`s pretty much just Christian-themed programming with a wide variety of music. Just no gangsta rap, heavy metal or sleepy elevator music.

CAIN: The kind of music we play reflects our culture and has a very calming effect on them.

SUTTON: We`ll do some jazz, some soft R&B. We`ll do some country, some rock, but primarily throughout the week continuously, you`re going to get the gospel.

91.7 Angola, the incarceration station.

BECK: As KLSP`s program manager it`s up to DJ Shaq to spread Warden Cain`s gospel.

SUTTON: Honestly, in terms of being a big gospel music fan, I wasn`t.

CAIN: Well, it grows on you, you know? They even got the rap gospel, and they play that and that`s cool. I like that.

BECK: Most of the DJs here are convicted murderers, making them uniquely qualified to preach to these inmates.

ROBIN POLK, A.K.A. ROCKIN` ROBIN: I can play that song for that guy and give him that comfort zone or relaxed state of mind to get away from all of the pressures of the mental weight of this prison.

BECK: And with song requests and shout-outs, KLSP shamelessly caters to its most loyal listeners, the men on Death Row.

SUTTON: We don`t call it Death Row here.

BECK: Oh, sorry, Life Row.

SUTTON: Guys on Life Row are some of the most faithful listeners to the radio station. I mean, a number of them, any given day, I might get anywhere from five to six letters.

What I can play for you?

BECK: And just like their fellow DJs on the outside, when it comes to payday, radio guys never seem to get the respect they deserve.

SUTTON: It`s one of the more higher-paying jobs at 20 cents an hour. It`s probably the highest pay that you can make as an inmate.

BECK: And one more thing that`s no different inside these walls. No matter how much you try, you can never please anybody.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: More rap, you know? It`s just something that`s going to pull people into it. But rap is really on the incline.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: They say music really changes your moods and they play just the right type of music to put you in the right type of mood.

SUTTON: On Saturdays I have a slow jam show. There are a number of songs I`ve scrapped from my repertoire simply because of maybe the content. It could be just a beautiful love song, but by nature, listening to it in an all-male maximum security prison. So I don`t want to move anybody in the way of, you know, something negative.

In terms of music calming the rap of an angry beast. I don`t know how true that is, but I do know that music here in Angola has proved to be a mechanism that actually works.

CAIN: It`s going to be cool and we`re just going to keep rocking and rolling.

SUTTON: God bless you and God keep you and thank you for tuning in to KLSP, 91.7 Angola. The next song on air is "I`m So Satisfied".



UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Come on, gator! Here, boy! Gator boy!


BECK: All right. Time to check the buzz from around the country. Today we`re getting the buzz from Chicago. Roe Conn, who is a radio talk show host and fellow hate monger from WLS, 890 AM.

Hello, Roe.


BECK: You know, you look a little like Charlie Sheen. Has anybody said that? I mean, less hooker-ized than Charlie, but you do kind of look like Charlie Sheen.

CONN: I am dating Denise Richards, by the way.

BECK: Oh, yes, really? In your dreams. And I`ll bet your wife appreciates that, too.

So what`s happening? What are people talking about in Chicago?

CONN: Let`s talk about the hot new Hollywood thing to do.

BECK: Yes.

CONN: Which is to not rent a casita somewhere in Bali; it`s to rent an entire African nation, Glenn.

BECK: I love this.

CONN: That`s the hot new thing.

BECK: Really? That`s what happened with -- that`s what happened with Brad and Angelina, right?

CONN: That`s exactly what they`ve done.

BECK: Yes.

CONN: Here`s what they`ve done. They rented for about $2 million and $300,000 of that went to charity, but $2 million, they rented Namibia for a month to have their baby. Think about this.

BECK: Which I always -- I always that Namibia, I thought that was Nambia and just people saying it wrong. I didn`t know that was an actual country, quite honestly. But...

CONN: I`m going to run something past you here, Glenn.


CONN: President Hifikepunye Pohamba.

BECK: I love him.

CONN: Sure.

BECK: Yes. Yes.

CONN: He is for rent, Glenn. He is for rent. And here`s what they did. They actually spent this $2 million. Now this about this. That would have been three percent of the entire military budget of Namibia. And they did that in just a month just to avoid the paparazzi? I don`t get that.

BECK: Now, let me ask you, do you get the lions with that? Because I know they went over -- they wanted the lions -- the wild lions to protect the child. Can you ask for extra lions if you`re giving them that kind of cash? I`d like some extra lions and preferably the ones that weren`t on stage with that, you know, Siegfried and Roy, the one that ate the other -- anyway. Go ahead. Next story.

CONN: This is why they hate us, Glenn.

BECK: Yes.

CONN: This is why they hate us. We`re over there. We`re in Afghanistan. We`re in Iraq and trying to save the world and -- at least in my opinion. And the rest of the world thinks, well, the hot Hollywood A- listers can now rent me as a backdrop for having their children in pretty pictures?

BECK: Sure. Sure.

CONN: Let`s talk about Matt Damon for a second. Here`s another goof who has decided that he wants to go to Zambia.

BECK: Who doesn`t?

CONN: Now this is an interesting deal. He was going to Zambia and had his pregnant wife. He was very concerned about what was going on there.

Now, this is an interesting country, because here`s a country that is one of the top copper producers in the world. And yet they`re losing money in an industry where there`s double-digit returns. It`s an unbelievable story.

BECK: So he`s going over for what reason? Why is he?

CONN: Because I think he`s looking at the place to see if he can rent it. I think that`s what he`s doing.

BECK: Really? Sounds like -- no, seriously, that sounds like a lot of fun.

CONN: Now think about this. I ran some numbers here for you, Glenn. "Ocean`s 11" and "Ocean`s l2" made about $1.2 billion. The debt in Zambia is $5.5 billion. They need to make four sequels and a direct to DVD and they`re done. They`re done. They can buy the whole country.

BECK: All right. And one last story. We have 30 seconds, go!

CONN: All right. Well, it`s still paparazzi. Here`s the thing you`ve got. Vaughniston. That`s Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston in Chicago for the weekend.

BECK: Yes.

CONN: Refusing to answer questions about the Brangelina baby and refused to answer questions about Shiloh, queen of Namibia.

BECK: Let me ask you, isn`t it a little tasteless to go up to the ex and say, "Hey, so -- so your old flame up in baby town, huh? With some tramp." I think it`s a little tasteless. They probably did the right thing.

Roe, thanks a lot. Talk to you next week.



BECK: Batwoman will be the first lesbian, apparently, which, you know, I mean, are we really going out on a limb? And I never really thought about it with Batwoman, but with Batman and his Ward? Come on. I mean, it`s Robin. What were they doing in the cave? "We`re just down here in the cave trying on our tights. Ooh, that gun looks good with you." "Put it in my utility belt, Robin." Come on, we didn`t know? Of course, we did.


BECK: I did say it: We did know!

All right, panic, everybody! It`s the first day of hurricane season. If you live in Florida, seriously, a lot more frightening things to worry about this summer than, you know, Hurricane Nevaeh -- which is "heaven" spelled backwards, I hear -- or there`s gay day at Disney, or really any chance encounter any day with Katherine Harris on the -- I mean, that`s just an unflattering picture of her, isn`t it?

Really, Florida, this is what you should be scared about, I mean really scared about: Yes, gator attacks! I`m sorry, but the state of Florida simply no longer safe.


BECK (voice-over): These cold-blooded killers are everywhere, crawling out of lakes onto people`s porches. Think you can flee Florida by car? Good luck. Stop for even a second, and this is what happens.

Ray, want to see the mermaids in Weeki Wachee Springs? This is definitely not a mermaid. And oh, and meet Jasmine. She`s a six-month-old golden retriever who went out for a run with her owner and wound up in the mouth of -- yes, we`d hoped to show you a picture, but for some reason Michael Rubin thought it was more important to savor than take one, jerk.

MICHAEL RUBIN, SAVED DOG FROM ALLIGATOR: I had my dog like this, and I was hitting the gator on the top of the head. And I don`t think I did that more than three or four times. I wasn`t get anywhere. And then I tried to pry its mouth off, and I just gave him one big yank and the dog came loose. At that point, I think he decided we were too much of a hassle.


BECK: I`ve got to tell you, I`m the biggest wuss in the world. The last thing -- it would take my child. It would. It would have to take my child to be in the mouth of the gator for me to start hitting the gator on top of the head and pry its mouth open.

I know, I know, please don`t write me. "Glenn, dogs are like our children." Eh, kind of. Not enough for me to wrestle an alligator.

We decided to get to the bottom of the gator scare, and we actually went to a place called Gator World.


BECK (voice-over): Welcome to Gatorland, alligator capital of the world, a place where the tourists watch the gators and the gators watch the tourists. The smell of fear is in the air, and the fact that three people died from alligator attacks in five days, well, it just feeds the fear even more.

But go backstage and what lurks is a different kind of Gatorland, a quiet, "Jurassic Park" kind of place, one that looks like it must have looked 20 million years ago, a place where the gators lays around, bask in the sun, and even make a little sweet, tender love.

TIM WILLIAMS, ALLIGATOR EXPERT: Come on, gator! Get her boy! Get her boy!

BECK: Tim Williams is the guy who makes Gatorland tick. You might say he`s an alligator whisperer, although he doesn`t really whisper. People around these parts called him the dean of alligator wrasslin`. He`s been working at Gatorland, suffice to say, a really long time now.

WILLIAMS: I started wrestling alligators in 1972. And I think I`ve gotten to a point in my career where I`m at an age where I can get down on an alligator, I just got to get three or four people to help me get back up.

BECK: Tim has got a pretty interesting background. Growing up in Florida, he spent most of his time outdoors with his parents. As a matter of fact, his mom held the record for being the longest continuous Girl Scout.

WILLIAMS: Good boy.

BECK: So, needless to say, getting into the gator business just sort of made sense for Tim. And I`ve got to tell you, he does stuff with alligators nobody in their right mind would do.

WILLIAMS: Good boy. That`s my boy.

BECK: And he also says the recent attacks in Florida are incredibly unusual. Oh, it`s like fate played a cruel joke or something.

WILLIAMS: I call it the perfect reptile storm. All of the conditions were right. We`ve been in a drought. The ponds and the lakes have dried up somewhat. It`s mating season.

BECK: Yes, sure, it`s rare, but if a gator does attack, you`re probably not going to survive.

WILLIAMS: These two animals right here, behind us here, this is Rufus and Buddy. They probably have close to 3,000-pounds-per-square-inch biting power. If either one of these animals were to grab me, bite down, you`re not going get their mouth open, and it could very easily just drag me out there and drown me, and they start tearing you up and eating you. I`m aware of that.

BECK: And so is our photographer who, I have to tell you, got closer to those gators than I would. Luckily, Tim has state-of-the-art technology to fend off those 12-foot monsters.

WILLIAMS: Pete is our backup. He has a stick.

BECK: Yes. And if the stick doesn`t work, I hear you`re supposed to run away in zigzags. Turns out that`s a myth.

WILLIAMS: We tell people, if a gator starts to chase you, the best thing to do is trip somebody and walk off. They don`t want to run out here in this heat.

BECK: By the way, he`s joking. And Tim just wants to make sure that everybody knows that gators aren`t the human-hungry, evil reptiles we think they are. Even in the light of the recent deaths, he says they`re just trying to survive.

WILLIAMS: We`re in their backyard. You know, they were there before we were. They are truly the last of the dinosaurs; 20 million years ago, these things were crawling around.

BECK: And now the fact that tourists are crawling all over Florida, scuba diving and snorkeling, sooner or later they`re bound to make a meal out of one of us. So how do you avoid becoming gator bait?

WILLIAMS: Don`t swim at night. That`s when the animals like to hunt.

BECK: OK, good tip. And take heart: Tim says you can avoid being eaten by an alligator pretty much by just not being a moron.

WILLIAMS: Stay away. Be careful. Watch what`s out there around you.

BECK: Because even though Gator Tim seems to have a serious affection for alligators of all shapes and sizes, he`s only too aware of what they`re capable of.

WILLIAMS: I don`t trust them. I don`t want to give anybody any false impressions. Ow, ow, ow, ow!


BECK: I mean, I honestly do not know what is wrong with that guy. Here he is out feeding chicken to alligators. "Here, little alligator!" What is wrong with people?

ERICA HILL, CNN HEADLINE NEWS ANCHOR: It seemed like a good idea at the time.

BECK: I mean, all right, he ate three of my children. Who would have seen that one coming? Have you ever lived in a place with alligators, Erica?

HILL: I haven`t, and I think I`m OK with that.

BECK: Yes, you know, I lived down in Tampa. And the alligators are, you know -- you would be driving, you know, home and there would be a giant alligator sunning himself in the middle of the road. You`d be like, "Hmm, not going to go chase him with a stick."

HILL: Yes, I mean, I know they were there first, but still not so much.

BECK: Yes, not so much. All right, so what`s happening in the real world?

HILL: OK, starting off with Department of Homeland Security. This one causing a little bit of a stir around the country. The antiterrorism grants for 2006 are out, causing major backlash, especially in New York and Washington, because both cities are going to get about 40 percent less money this year while other cities are seeing a boost, Louisville and Charlotte getting about 40 percent more.

Representatives for New York and Washington, as you can imagine, say this money is crucial to their cities given that they are considered high- risk zones.

BECK: Sure.

HILL: Department officials say the criteria for who gets what though has changed. So, instead of looking at population, they`re focusing more on sending their money where they see the biggest risks to be. They say they`re also taking into account how well states have used past grants. Probably not the last we`ve heard of this.

BECK: Yes, I will tell you, I mean, as a resident now of New York, you know, I think that there`s probably a lot to protect here in New York. You know, call me crazy.

But I`ve got to tell you: The way to handle this thing -- well, first of all, New York, you know, start profiling people. You know, stop just random searches in the subways and let`s start looking into people that we think actually might be terrorists. There`s one way to save some bucks.

The second thing is: Anybody who`s upset with this, why don`t you, instead of complaining and saying I want the money, why don`t you call your congressperson and say, "Hey, you know what I`d like you to do there in Congress? I`d like you to take the bridge from nowhere, those kinds of projects, cut those and transfer some of the funding, you know, to homeland security." Call me crazy.

HILL: There you go. Getting the people involved. I like it.

BECK: That`s right. That`s right.

HILL: Let me know if you hear any feedback on that.

BECK: I will. No feedback, I`m sure.

HILL: This next story, much more serious. It`s just a tragic story of joy and heartbreak for two families due to a mistaken identity.

An Indiana coroner`s office confused the identities of two college students who were involved in a traffic accident in April. They told Whitney Cerak`s family she died, while Laura VanRyn`s family thought their daughter was actually in a coma.

Well, it`s because the two women looked remarkably alike. The survivor had a lot of facial swelling after the accident. Well, it turns out the girl in the coma was actually Cerak, not VanRyn.

BECK: Can you imagine what the parents...

HILL: I can`t.

BECK: ... when the girl woke up and said, "Mom, Dad," and they said, "Yes, we`re here for you." An she said, "No, who are you?"

HILL: Yes, apparently at one point, some of the folks at the rehab facility had asked her to write her name, and she wrote her name was Whitney Cerak. And they said, no, wait a minute, that, no, she passed away. She`s had a funeral. Her parents buried her. It`s just terrible.

Finally, they were identified through dental records. What`s amazing is a spokesman for the rehab center has said that both the families understand how this could have happened.

BECK: Oh, yes, but, wait, there will be an attorney at some point that is going to weasel his way into the family circles and try to convince them you should sue.

HILL: Could be.

BECK: And, finally, last story?

HILL: All right, last story for you, today, it`s, of course, the first day of June, that means the first day of hurricane season, which means everybody at CNN is on high alert. It lasts through November, remember.

All up and down the Atlantic and Gulf Coast, people are bracing for the hurricane season. And the prediction from the National Hurricane Center, it`s going to be another rough one.

BECK: Great. Thanks, Erica. I appreciate it.

HILL: Have a good night.

BECK: By the way, I saw in the newspaper today that New Orleans is sinking which -- great -- at a faster rate than we thought it was. Hey, again, I ask: Please, why are we spending all that money in New Orleans? The city is sinking anyway!

Back in a minute.


BECK: All right. A couple of weeks ago, "American Idol" finished its season and my producers made me ask for suggestions on what I should do now that I`m watching, you know, 15 hours a week of "American Idol." So, I mean, the truth is, I use TiVo a lot.

Anyway, for some reason, you actually sent some suggestions in. Brian suggests I buy an "American Idol" microphone so I can sing "Leave On" in the shower. Thanks, Brian, but my two-month-old cries enough as it is.

Cindy in Edmonton -- which I think is some place in Canada -- says their version of "Idol" starts this week and also insists on telling me that there`s never been a scandal among any of their contestants because they`re all so clean-cut and wholesome. Yes, I want some grittiness to my "Idol," all right? And, by the way, thanks. They`re Canadian.

Summer tour starts on the 5th of July. Their CD is already out. And if you`re wondering why you`re watching Katharine McPhee singing, you know, "Without You," it`s because, not only is it being released as her first single this month, it`s because she`s also here in the studio with us.

Katharine, thanks so much for coming on the program.


BECK: How are you? You`re the first person that`s actually stood up. That`s so unnecessary and so nice of you.

MCPHEE: Oh, well, thank you.

BECK: Well, thank you. So let me ask you: What`s it like? I just read a survey that 50 or 56 percent of teenagers want to be famous. They think that`s the American dream.

MCPHEE: Really?

BECK: Which I thought was a little frightening. What`s it like to be overnight famous?

MCPHEE: It`s exciting. It`s also very stressful.

BECK: Yes.

MCPHEE: You definitely feel a big burden to just be -- you know, you feel like you`re being watched every second. You are, really.

BECK: Yes.

MCPHEE: And, you know, it`s difficult because people -- they see you 15 seconds, you know, interacting with the judges and they make a judgment on who they think you are as a person.

BECK: So who are you?

MCPHEE: Who am I?

BECK: Who are you?

MCPHEE: I still feel like I`m the same girl that walked into that first audition with the judges. I just get to do cooler things now. I get to meet cool people. I get to sit in the...

BECK: Who`s the biggest -- who`s the person that you met and you were like, "Shut up, you`re not a fan"? Have you met anybody like that, that you were surprised that they were a fan?

MCPHEE: Well, I mean, any time like a celebrity, because I don`t really think as myself -- I don`t think of all of the other idols as celebrities. It`s kind of a weird thing, because it just happens so fast. And even, like, a celebrity that comes up to me and they`re like, "Oh, we watch you all of the time."

BECK: Like who?

MCPHEE: Like Donald Trump, for instance. I was on the Kelly and Regis show, or "Regis and Kelly" -- I don`t know which order it is -- and it was just like so weird that he was a huge fan, you know?

BECK: Sure.

MCPHEE: Because you just don`t think that someone like Donald would have time in his day to...

BECK: Is it true that Tom Cruise asked you to sing at his wedding?

MCPHEE: I get that question non-stop. And you know what? I have no idea where that rumor came from.

BECK: Really?

MCPHEE: And I have not gotten any confirmation from any kind of management camp, so...

BECK: Are you a Scientologist?

MCPHEE: No, I`m not a Scientologist.

BECK: Really? Both of those things are rampant on the...

MCPHEE: Both of those things are false.

BECK: Really? So you haven`t met those guys?

MCPHEE: I have not met -- no, I`ve not met Tom Cruise or Katie Holmes. I`d like to.

BECK: You have actually -- and I don`t mean to embarrass you here -- but you`ve inspired me. May I show you a clip of something -- that, after your performance, you inspired me...

MCPHEE: Sure. No way!

BECK: ... yes, to go the extra mile. Let`s play the clip back from the day after the "Idol."


BECK (singing): Somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow...


MCPHEE: That`s pretty good.

BECK: Yes, isn`t it?


BECK: ... why or why can`t I?


MCPHEE: It`s a little dramatic, but I like it.

BECK: Isn`t that beautiful?

MCPHEE: That note is actually higher than what I hit.


BECK: That`s beautiful. I hope you are inspired back the same way.

MCPHEE: I didn`t know you were such a goofball. I didn`t know.

BECK: I don`t know what that -- I was dead serious. I don`t even know what that means.

MCPHEE: No, you weren`t. Did you just do that right now before I walked in?

BECK: No, no, no, that was on, I think, the day after "Idol," the day after you did it.

MCPHEE: That`s pretty.

BECK: Which, by the way, the reminds me, get off the floor. Once in a while, you should get off the floor.

Taylor just signed a big deal with Clive Davis. Who`s beating your door down?

MCPHEE: Clive Davis.

BECK: Really?

MCPHEE: I`ll be signing with RCA Records, yes.

BECK: How cool is that?

MCPHEE: Yes, isn`t that great?

BECK: Yes.

MCPHEE: Top two actually, I think, is pretty much guaranteed that they get a record deal. So that was part of the reason why I was just so, like, at ease the top two finale.

BECK: You know, Ryan Seacrest said, "You know, you`re both winners tonight," and usually that`s a load of crap. You`re like, "No, one of us is a loser."

MCPHEE: Right.

BECK: But in this particular case, if you make it to the top two, even Chris. Chris is going to have a huge career in front of him.

MCPHEE: Chris is going to do really well. I think that he is talking to, you know, RCA, as well.

BECK: Can you talk about behind the scenes at all? Can you talk about what it is like with the judges? Do you interact with them at all?

MCPHEE: There`s very little interaction with the judges. People always ask that question. "How`s it like? What are they like?"

And, you know, we see the judges pretty much as much as America does. I saw Randy Jackson a little bit more. Simon, the only time you saw Simon was when someone got voted off, and he would come up on the stage and say, you know, "Farewell," or, "You know, you`re going to be fine," and stuff like that.

BECK: Well, that`s nice of him.

MCPHEE: And Paula would give us a lot of her jewelry, which I`m actually wearing this afternoon.


BECK: Right.

MCPHEE: So we saw her, but she was always, like, you know, the cameras were always on her trying to promote her jewelry and stuff like that. She`s pretty much the same from what you see on TV, and Randy is just like this cool dude who just can`t stop talking.

BECK: Hey, I understand what you`re saying, dog. A little pitchy for me at first, but I get it. Congratulations, and best of luck for you.

MCPHEE: Thank you. Thank you so much.

BECK: I`ll look for you on the radio.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You want a hot dog, miss?


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You can have one. You can have a hot dog.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No, thank you. No, I don`t want one.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Excuse me, sir, do you mind passing the lady one of the hot dogs?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I`m good, thanks.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That`s really nice of you. I really don`t -- OK, give me a hot dog.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Can somebody give her a hot dog?



BECK: All right. Time for hate mail, where people actually take the time to write e-mails to a host that they not only profess to hate, but usually profess not to watch, which is weird when they talk about both the TV and radio show, like this one.

Neil writes in. "Hey, Glenn. I never listen to you, but I happened to turn on 570 KLIF when you said Wal-Mart shouldn`t have to pay their employees more than other companies simply because it`s not capitalism. Why is it you`re always whining that we`re turning socialist? There are a lot of countries like France" -- I mean, I think he`s actually serious here -- "that are doing fine as socialists. I`d like to see you answer that one on TV. Neil, Dallas."

Neil, I`m nothing if I`m not a grantor of wishes. First of all, France really isn`t doing fine with anything. I mean, they`re a mess. You`ve heard about the people whining about our economy, right? The unemployment rate here is 4.7? France unemployment: 9.3.

They have absolutely no backbone, and the world knows it. If you want to talk about immigrants running all over a government, even more than here in America, it would have to be France.

Have you seen a country that has done a better job of making sport out of car-torching than the Frenchie Frenchman? "Heh, heh, heh, le Peugeot is on fire, eh?"

I mean, and it`s great to be old in France, too. No, it is. Without even talking about the wonders of a socialist health care system where you can depend on that kidney transplant in about 2027. Oh, that`s nice.

You also have about 30,000 people dying every time the temperature is over 80 for a week. And I hate to go back to the cars, but do I have to mention the quality of automobile that is the Renault? I mean, le car, it makes me want to crash into "le bridge abutment," you what I`m saying here?

But beyond that, remember what socialism is: It`s not intended to be a long-term form of government. In Marxist-Leninist theory -- and look it up; we did -- socialism is defined simply as the step between capitalism and communism.

So unless you feel like sucking the white and the blue off the flag, adding just a hint of yellow and maybe a hammer or a sickle over here some place, I`d whine right along with me.

If you hate me or just want to inspire some pointless rant on governmental philosophy, like the one you just heard, write me at or, better yet, call the radio show tomorrow on "Clothesline Friday," you freak. Any topic, as long as it`s not as boring as, let`s say, governmental philosophy, because I`m riddled with ADD, you know, really?


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