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The Nature of Islamic Extremism; Organization Trying to Limit Television Viewership

Aired June 07, 2006 - 19:00:00   ET


ANNOUNCER: We at GLENN BECK understand that after a long day of sitting through traffic and getting yelled at by your boss, the last thing you want is to be stressed out by some cable news show. Unfortunately, we have ratings to think about. So, the world is ending. We`re all going to die. Stay tuned for details.


GLENN BECK, HOST: I don`t know if you`ve been following the suspected terrorists who were caught in Toronto, but they apparently had planned on beheading the Canadian prime minister, Stephen Harper.

I can`t -- I can`t handle the nuts realm that these people live in. And I don`t care if this is my final broadcast. Bold statement coming. Truth teller. I`m against beheading. Yes, I know, that`s a blanket, hatemongering thing to say. But it`s true. Beheading, not so nice. You know what I`m saying there?

They also planned on taking over the CBC -- the Canadian Broadcasting Company -- in order to spread their message of hate on Canadian TV. You know, I don`t really have a problem with that one. Have you seen some of the programming on the CBC lately? I grew up right across the border in Canada, and it`s really -- I mean, it`s curling. I mean, how much curling can a guy take? I think a lot of people would be, like, is the "all- beheading channel" on? I mean, I wouldn`t watch it. But I`d definitely TiVo that and never -- you know, never the curling thing.

I want to make it very clear. I don`t hate Muslims. In fact, I don`t know anybody who hates Muslims. And I know a lot of conservatives. But the Islamic extremists? They hate us. Here`s an idea. They want to behead us. They`re at war with us and our way of life.

And you know who they`re coming for first? I mean it. Lindsay Lohan. It`s Hollywood that beaming the Gilmore freaking Girls right into the tents in Tora Bora. And Hollywood, whether you like it or not, you`re the main merchant of our way of life, all across the globe.

This is a religious war. Not one that we started. Really, honestly, not one I want to fight. But I`m willing to. The extremists want to behead Christians, Jews, and, yes, Tom and Katie, even the Scientologists. If you don`t band together and realize -- Christians, Jews, Scientologists and Muslims who aren`t Muslim enough for these guys -- we`re going to be doomed.

Melanie Phillips, she is the author of "Londonistan". It`s a non- fiction book which reveals the new generation of Islamic terrorists are not out there, but possibly already here being raised among us.

Melanie, who are these people? And please speak the truth, why are they trying to kill us?

MELANIE PHILLIPS, AUTHOR, "LONDONISTAN": Well, the alarming thing is that in Britain we have home-grown Muslims, and I think it`s the same thing in Canada and maybe the same in America, too. Muslims who have been born and bred in the country but who have been taught to hate it.

Why do they hate it? Well, the whole Muslim and Arab world is currently dominated by a particular interpretation of Islam which believes in waging jihad, holy war against unbelievers.

In addition, the Muslim world doesn`t like the fact that it`s not top dog in the globe, and it has rationalized this by saying to itself, this is a result of a conspiracy against the west.

BECK: But Melanie, isn`t it -- it`s more than that. You know, we say, well, they hate us. We hate our own culture. There are people that are taking our own culture down from the inside, as well. Why wouldn`t you hate us? We`re always apologizing for stuff that -- you know, we didn`t do or didn`t mean to do. You know what I mean?

PHILLIPS: Yes. Well, when the Muslims -- when the Islamists say that we`re decadent, I think they have a really good point. And this is the really terrifying thing and this is why I wrote my book, "Londonistan". Because it`s this combination of this aggressive jihadism on the one hand and the fact that, as you say, our culture is undermining itself from within. And you can`t defend a culture from attack if you don`t know what it is, if you don`t like it very much, you don`t understand its values and if you don`t want to uphold them. It`s just madness.

BECK: So what is the thing that people should take away? When you look at Canada, a country that was not in Iraq, didn`t go to war in Iraq, what is it you should take away from these guys who are now sitting in a jail in Canada?

PHILLIPS: Well, I think the first thing we should take away is that we all have to secure our borders. Canada lost control of its borders, just as we in Britain have lost control of our borders, and I think in America you have something of a similar situation, too. You`ve been convulsed by a debate over your border with Mexico. I think you should look to your border with Canada.

BECK: Oh, yes.

PHILLIPS: That`s the first thing.

BECK: Yes.

PHILLIPS: The second thing is that we`ve got to tell Muslims that we respect their religion. We have no problem with them practicing Islam, but if they`re going to use the religion to turn against us, we won`t have it. We shy away from doing that.

And the third thing is we`ve got to uphold our own culture again. We`ve got to stop apologizing for it. We`ve got to stop undermining it. We`ve got to stop turning upon ourselves. We`ve got to stop this multi- cultural minority rights rubbish which turns morality on its head and gets rid of truth itself and confuses us even as to who is the aggressor here and who is the victim.

BECK: Right. Melanie, I appreciate your time. Thank you very much.

You know, she says I would -- she says I would really like to have us tell the Muslims that we are -- that we want to be their friends. I`m tired of saying it, man. I`ve never been an enemy of Islam. I`m tired of saying it.

Here`s what I`d like to hear. The Muslims come up and start denouncing these extremists loudly in the street. And by denouncing, I don`t mean, you know, somebody on television saying, "You know, I don`t agree with their tactics, but...". Get rid of the "but" part.

Where is the Muslim Bill Cosby? Tarek Fatah, he is from the Muslim Canadian Congress. He has been speaking out about this.

Tarek, I read an article in the "New York Times". I was about to throw this article across the room, because it would not name these Muslim extremists for what they were. The first time that they were mentioned as Muslim extremists was what you said, and I actually applauded you in my living room on Sunday, when you said, they are doing the Muslim community a great service by arresting these people. Thank you, sir, for saying that.

TAREK FATAH, MUSLIM CANADIAN CONGRESS: Thank you for having me over.

But I mean, you and your listeners should understand that these Islamic fascists, radicals, have been killing Muslims for the last 50 years wherever they could get themselves on. This has been happening in Saudi Arabia for the last 60 years.

The western world has not realized what was happening because these guys were portraying themselves as the anti-communists. So as long as they were killing anyone who would be considered left of center, that was OK.

BECK: But you understand, as a Muslim, that you`re on the chopping block, as well. Sure, you can behead the prime minister, but once you`ve done that, you`re there. You`re next.

FATAH: No. They`re going to chop heads of Muslims before they ever get to the prime minister.

BECK: Right.

FATAH: And this is the thing. The problem with the Muslim leadership, I`ll tell you, there is an American connection to this. This mosque where all this nonsense was happening is owned and directed by an Islamic organization from the United States. Most of the Muslim organizations in Canada are based in the United States.

So if anybody is talking of securing borders, I think the problem is in your court. Honest to God. Eighty percent of the Muslim leadership in the organizations that operate in Canada have their offices in Chicago and New York.

BECK: You know what`s really frightening to me, is these guys were not -- they`re not -- they`re middle class. They`re not underprivileged. You know, we haven`t been peeing all over these people. These are -- these were raised as middle class people.

FATAH: You know, I call them millionaires mimicking misery. There was nothing. They had the best life possible. They are in the world`s top 10 percent of the world`s population. They have never had a day of hunger. They don`t know what it is to live as a homeless person or live in a war zone.

And yet they were -- this imam or these senior predators were able to convince them that the whole word was against them. I think this is a cult sort of a situation, and there is a certain attractiveness. When you tell someone who`s failed that, "Oh, I will get you the real life, and that happens to be just after you die. And the real target of life should be to die in the service of God." That`s a really dangerous message.

BECK: Tarek, I thank you very much, sir. And please keep speaking out. It`s great to speak to you.

Real quick, before we go to break, I just want to show you. The guys are in court now, and there was an artist sketch of one of them. Look at this artist sketch and tell me who this looks like. Is his is phenomenal? I saw this today. It`s Jesus in handcuffs!


BECK: With everything that`s in the news today, it really does come down to one thing, doesn`t it? Our family and our kids.

I don`t know if you feel this way, but I am absolutely terrified to send my kids to school everyday. The violence, the crime, the drugs. Just the general level of education. It seems to me that when it comes to our schools, common sense is dead sometimes, doesn`t it?

Now can you imagine sending your kids to school in Harlem? I fear it is as bad or worse than we could possibly imagine, until one guy decided to make a change.


BECK (voice-over): It`s a typical day for these 4-year-olds, reciting their French grammar. No, it`s not an exclusive private school. It`s public, and it`s happening right here in Harlem, New York, as part of a charter school project.

Young hearts and minds are thriving today in what is historically one of New York`s most troubled neighborhoods, all thanks to one man.


BECK: Jeffrey Canada heads up the Harlem Children`s Zone, the one-of- a-kind program that covers a 60-block area in central Harlem. Its mission? Saving its own 6,500 children, through education, one child at a time.

CANADA: There is no solution for dealing with the issues of poverty, for dealing with the issues of crime in this country except education. If our schools don`t work, then the poor children in this country are simply not going to succeed.

BECK: He says the key is taking an all encompassing approach.

CANADA: Why is it that we think that we can work with children only for a little period of time and then think they`re going to be OK? The truth of the matter is every single age is critical and important, and we have to provide support for this particular group of children throughout all of those ages.

BECK: The charter school is called the Promise Academy. But it`s only one part of the program.

There`s also the Baby College, which offers parenting skills for those who are pregnant or have kids under the age of 3. The Harlem Gems is a pre-kindergarten program with an adult to child ratio of 1-4 that aims to get kids school ready.

Truths and Truths Fitness, the youth development programs, offer free tutoring, regent`s prep courses, karate, dance, aerobics, drama club. They produce a newspaper and produce a cable TV program.

Canada says his drive comes from personal experience. He and his three brothers grew up in the impoverished South Bronx of the 1950s. His father left when they were infants. The boys were raised by a single mom, who at times had to turn to welfare.

CANADA: Part of being in the ghetto meant that you were trapped there. And I grew up wondering why didn`t anybody do anything? Why didn`t the adults come and save us kids? We had done nothing wrong. There was no reason that we should grow up without heat and hot water, with rats and roaches, living in filth and vermin. I just wondered where are the heroes?

BECK: And it`s these first-hand experiences that allow Canada to connect with the kids he`s trying to save.

CANADA: They`re always shocked because before kids know me, when they see me, I`m always in a suit and tie and jacket. And they think, "Oh, yes, this guy probably grew up somewhere."

And when we begin to talk about how we grew up, when I begin to share with them my own life story and I can see the recognition in their eyes, it touches them that I went through that same thing and made it out the other side. They sit there and say, he made it, he actually got out of that and did something.

BECK: And what he did was get himself a first rate education, ending with a master`s degree from Harvard.

CANADA: I never had one doubt that I was going to come back and do this work. An dif you look at my academic career in college and at graduate school, every single course I took was focused on trying to figure out how we could find solutions to the problems of inner city, poor minority children.

BECK: Though some people think his methods are unusual, Canada says he`s willing to do whatever it takes to motivate the kids, even bribing them for incentives, including a small cash prize for accomplishments like perfect attendance.

CANADA: These kids are poor. Their parents have no money. Money really matters to them. I think it`s totally acceptable to say, you know, here`s $10. You`ve really done great. We think that`s good. This is what will happen if you continue to do good. You will be able to legally earn money and have a good life.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Two positive integers.

BECK: And teachers that work for him get motivation of a different kind.

CANADA: I think our teachers are underpaid and I think they`re undervalued. I think the people who are really working with the heart of this problem are some of the -- really, the great heroes and heroines in this country who are uncelebrated.

But we also have a lot of folk who aren`t pulling their weight. And we need to be able to make sure teachers who aren`t doing great things for children get retrained, and if they`re not able to be retrained, that they get let go. Because we`re not going to be able to stay a first-rate country if we give our kids a second- or third-rate education.

BECK: For Canada, it`s about a promise kept.

CANADA: This is a funny thing about my mother, and she`s probably going to beat me up for telling this, but it`s true. When I was about 11 years old, my mother came to me and she said, "Jeff, I believe you have a special talent with relating and connecting with people. And you can use this for good or you could use this for bad. If you decide to use this for bad, I`m going to disown you."

And I thought she was kidding. She was not kidding. I think she`s very proud of the way things have developed.


BECK: You, sir, I have wanted to shake your hands for a couple of weeks now. I asked our staff to look into you and do a piece on you. Somebody who is making a difference, not taking no for an answer.

What is the most shocking thing that you`ve come up against? You know, we`re all trying. We`re struggling with our kids, trying to change the system, and it doesn`t want to change. What were you shocked by?

CANADA: Let me tell you the thing that really surprised me the most, Glenn. People always come to me and say, "Boy, isn`t it so hard?" I am shocked by how little it takes sometimes to save a child. Just by paying attention, just by asking the kind of things we take for granted, you know, "How are you doing? How are you feeling? Are you scared? Is someone bothering you? Is there something you need?" That these common things don`t happen to a whole bunch of children in our city.

BECK: But you are taking on a system. I mean, you fired last year more teachers in your one school than the entire city of Manhattan. You`re taking on system. That ain`t easy.

CANADA: No, it`s not easy. And it comes with some risks. You know, I admit there are some risks.

But this is what I think. When you look at what`s at stake. So if you let things continue just where they`re going, where are we going to end up? We`re going to end up spending $60,000 a year to lock these same kids up that we could have educated when they were in the second or third grade. It doesn`t make any sense to me.

So if you know that that system is broken and it doesn`t make any sense, and you just continue doing -- we have -- look, there are schools that were around 30 years ago that are lousy. They were lousy 30 years ago. They`re lousy today. How did we let that happen? How did we let that go on?

BECK: It`s -- it`s the system, man; it`s the system. And you going in and breaking the back of it, God bless you! What can you tell -- somebody`s Watching in Omaha, Nebraska, and they`re looking at a failing school and their kid trapped in it.

I mean, I`m lucky enough to live in a nice suburb, man. I don`t want to send my kids to those schools. You`re sitting there with a trapped kid, what do you tell that parent? How do they break open and start over again?

CANADA: One of the things I think we have to do, and people just have to take this as part of the truth, we`ve got to have politicians that have the moral courage to stand up to these bureaucracies and these systems. We have one in Mayor Bloomberg. You know, it just so happens that he is uncorruptable. People can`t influence him. He`s decided education...

BECK: He`s a billionaire.

CANADA: He`s a millionaire. Education is going to change, and he has taken on the invested interest.

So people thought it could not be done. It can be done. If you don`t sell out, if you`re prepared to be a man of principles, you can do this. And this is the problem. When you look at the hundreds of thousands of children whose lives are wasted because people won`t take a stand and stand up and say no more of this, that`s a sin.

BECK: I could spend an hour with you. I hope to be able to spend some more time with you on the radio tomorrow. Thank you, sir.

CANADA: Thank you for having me on.

BECK: Thank you very much.

CANADA: My pleasure.


BECK: All right. Time now to check on the buzz in Houston with my best friend, Pat Gray. You can hear him mornings on 950 KPRC.

Hello, Pat.


BECK: Did you see the lady we had on a couple of days ago? She was talking about sending bricks to Congress?


BECK: Did -- do you watch the show?

GRAY: I -- every chance I get.

BECK: This guy is my best friend.

GRAY: That particular night I just didn`t have the opportunity.

BECK: You just didn`t see it. Did you see the show last night?

GRAY: Not last night.

BECK: Wednesday?

GRAY: It`s Wednesday now.

BECK: Tuesday.


BECK: That was last night. Monday. When did you watch the show last Pat?

GRAY: I think Friday. I think Friday night was the last show.

BECK: Really? That`s good. A lot of my friends will watch the show. And unfortunately for me, that`s about all that`s watching.

This lady was sending bricks. She has a web site. I think it`s or whatever, and people are actually buying bricks and sending them to Congress, and they still don`t get the idea.

Now we need to build two fences, with what`s happening in Canada. We need a northern and a southern fence, do we not?

GRAY: Yes, yes. We absolutely do. We need to do something with the border on Canada. All you have to do is drive across the border, walk across the border. You show a driver`s license, you come on in. It`s a total mess on both ends of the border.

BECK: You know, you and I were having a conversation on your radio show in the morning a couple of -- what, about a week ago. And you were yelling at me. "I can`t believe you, going after Tony snow, saying that it`s like a driver`s license." Whatever, I wasn`t really listening to you.

The thing that kills me, Pat, is we don`t need really any more laws. We just need to enforce the ones we already have, don`t we?

GRAY: You know, I`d be good with that. I really would. President Bush was in Laredo yesterday talking about this comprehensive plan, how we need the comprehensive plan or nothing at all. No, we don`t.

BECK: Let me give you a comprehensive plan. You tell me where this is wrong. Here`s the comprehensive plan we need. We need a fence in the north and the south. We need to cut the red tape for those people who want to come here to America, make it`s easier for them to get through. Cut the red tape. The third thing? Oh, yes.

GRAY: Enforce the laws?

BECK: No, kill the employers -- I mean, not literally kill them. Fine the living bat crap out of those employers that are hiring these illegal aliens.

GRAY: Absolutely. And we have the laws on the books to do all of those things right now, and we just choose not to, without any comprehensive plan.

BECK: I don`t know why we need the comprehensive plan. Let me ask you the question on Sheila Jackson Lee.


BECK: George Bush, you know, going on and, you know, "Hey, I think we`ve got the right thing." Trying to sell this to conservatives. Shouldn`t he use the Sheila Jackson Lee litmus test?

GRAY: If she agrees it`s wrong?

BECK: Yes. Yes.

GRAY: That would be my litmus test.

BECK: It would be with me. I mean, there are people like Ted Kennedy. If Ted Kennedy is for something, I don`t even have to think about it, I`m automatically against it.

GRAY: Right.

BECK: The same thing with Sheila Jackson Lee. Do you think George Bush rolls around in bed at night? Does it keep him up for at least five minutes: "I agree with Sheila Jackson Lee. This can`t be right"?

GRAY: It should keep him up at night. I had her on the air this morning for about half an hour. She...

BECK: God bless. You need a medal.

GRAY: It was difficult. It was tough.

BECK: So does everybody in your audience.

GRAY: But -- but she referenced her support for his plan at least three times and maybe more than that. And I thought at the time, OK, that`s all we need to know. That`s all we need to know about how far off the mark George Bush is here.

BECK: All right. Pat, thanks a lot. You`ll see Pat tomorrow morning on KPRC in Houston, Texas. Thanks, Pat.

GRAY: Thanks.



BECK: So Al Gore takes you on this cute, little journey. And, you know, the funny thing is, is most of this movie, when you see him, he`s either on stage or on a airplane or in a big, huge car.

I`m thinking to myself, "He`s railing on CO-2 levels, and he`s doing it with the whine of the jet behind him." "Yes, you know, it`s really bad the way we just blow out CO-2 into the atmosphere! Yes, I`m on the road most of the time, flying from city to city, giving this speech." It`s really not helping making your case.


BECK: The other night, my wife said to me that, Raphe, my youngest son, was at home, and he saw me on TV, and he looked up at the TV and he said, "Daddy!" Raphe, I`m coming home soon.

There is nothing better than saying to my son three words, "Sam I am." Wherever he is, I guarantee he`s watching right now, and he`s looking for it. I just have to say "Sam I am," and he reaches up, and he grabs my big finger, and he takes me either to his room or wherever we left it to this.

This is tremendous. Not only does he love the book, I cherish the minute, just the minute of reading this with him. It doesn`t get any better than that, does it?

You know, it`s really hard to be a parent; it is exhausting. By the way, Raphe, I`ll be home soon. Sam I am.

There are times when it`s tempting to leave my son, my kids in front of the tube and just soak up "Spongebob Squarepants" or "My Super Sweet 16." God help us all if you do that.

I read some scary statistics the other day. Nearly half of infants, 50 percent of infants, watch TV every single day. Kids under six? A third of them have TVs in their bedroom.

What are we doing, man? You know, some of these shows and DVDs actually teach something. There`s "Sesame Street." There`s "Blue`s Clues." God help you on "Baby Einstein." I`m trying to figure out what that`s teaching my son. But in too many homes, the TV set has become a virtual nanny.

Robert Kesten, he`s head of something called the TV Turnoff Network that encourages people to chuck the remote one week every year. It`s ironic you`re here on television saying, "Turn the TV off," and I encourage you to do that, but not during this hour of television.

Tell me, why do you hate TV so much?

ROBERT KESTEN, TV-TURNOFF NETWORK: Well, one thing is we don`t hate TV at all.

BECK: Right.

KESTEN: And what we`re really looking for is encouraging balance in people`s lives, and the television and other technologies, the computer games, the iPod, have really started to lead us rather than us taking advantage of them.

BECK: You know, what is frightening to me, I`ve done radio for, I don`t know, 25, 27 years now. And we have our ratings. They`re called 12- plus. It means everybody over 12 that is listening to the radio. In television, it`s two-plus, everyone over two that is watching television.

One of the reasons I got out of Top 40 radio is because of the way we were using kids to be able to get to dollars. It is really truly obscene, and we do it on television, as well.

KESTEN: Well, even more so on television. A vast amount of advertising dollars is now targeted to the two-year-old, because the two- year-old is the best way to get expenditures from the entire family for outrageous amounts of money. And what was something where the advertising community only spent a million or millions of dollars, they`re now spending billions of dollars reaching the two-year-old market.

BECK: You see it. You go into a toy store. You go into -- I mean, you go to Babies R Us. Raphe`s favorite toys and the toys that I love playing with, Raphe, Tupperware.

We make them into, you know, "Come in, Raphe. Come in, Commander Raphe." We do that, where they`re hats, you know, they`re anything you want to do. But everybody is going out and spending so much money on these wild toys and wild clothes, and I really think part of it is because we see it on television. We say, "Oh, we have to have that. That will enrich our experience."

KESTEN: Well, in the recent report that you referred to earlier, it stated that this one woman, I believe from Colorado, said, if it wasn`t for television commercials, I would not know what to get my kids for Christmas.

BECK: Oh, that`s absolutely unbelievable.

KESTEN: It`s frightening that she doesn`t know her children well enough that she relies on commercials.

BECK: The thing, as a guy who`s been, you know, in advertising and radio and now, for a few weeks, at least, in television, the way advertising works is I either have to create a hole or a need in you or exploit that hole or need in you.

And I fear that`s what we`re doing to our kids at far too early of an age. You know, I think it`s in Sweden, you can`t advertise to kids -- I think, it`s under 12 or 15.

KESTEN: There are a number of countries that limit advertising or ban advertising totally to young people.

BECK: I think that is absolutely tremendous. Robert, real quick, before you go, I gave up television just because I was going back to school for a year when I was 30. I was surprised at how much I noticed violence and sex when I turned it back on. It was a shock at what you`re just used to having spill out into your living rooms.

KESTEN: The truth of the matter is: We need a lifestyle change in this country, where we take control of the electronic media in our lives and stop letting it control us. And that`s the only way we`re going to get a handle on it.

If we don`t want our children doing drugs, smoking, drinking, having risky sexual activity, parents have to turn the TV off during dinner, and turn it off during breakfast, and actually have conversations with their children. It can`t be the baby-sitter, nor can the computer be the teacher.

Parents have to be involved actively in their children`s lives. And we can`t have more parents saying, "You know, excuse me for five minutes, I want to catch this on TV."

BECK: Right. Robert, thank you. I appreciate it.

Now, for the defense, let`s bring in Steve Burns. For six years, he the host of the popular children`s TV show "Blue`s Clues." For the older viewers, Mr. Rogers with stunning good looks and a computer-generated blue dog.

Does your resume say "electronic nanny" anywhere, Steve?


BECK: Really? Now, you left "Blue`s Clues" because you`re in music. I heard you`re actually really good.

BURNS: Oh, thank you. I`ve heard that, too, thanks. I actually haven`t, but thank you.

BECK: So this is the first definitive study that says television is bad. You were part of television aimed directly to kids, but a good one.

BURNS: Well, let me start by saying that I actually agree with a lot of what you and Robert were saying. Television does exploit children.

BECK: Did you have any qualms at all about being involved in a show that was aimed right directly to the youngest?

BURNS: Absolutely. I mean, we took that so seriously. And it wasn`t just aimed at them; we actually tried to reach through the screen in many ways and sort of become a pretend friend.

BECK: Right. Wow, that`s weird, isn`t it?

BURNS: Yes, sure, you know.

BECK: A pretend friend. Have you seen "Baby Einstein"?

BURNS: Sure.

BECK: Do you find any redeeming -- I mean, I just -- every time I see "Baby Einstein," I think to myself those people are genius for the amount - - they`ve taken everyday stuff. They spend about $4 on that, and they`re making millions.

BURNS: Right. Well, I think there`s a lot more research that goes into than that.

BECK: Yes, to "Blue`s Clues," there`s something -- you know what? But I have to tell you. Again, I`m a capitalist. I`d like to show you a little something. I`ve made "Baby Beckstein."

Can we roll that please, Ellie?


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hi, (INAUDIBLE) Sally. How are things?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, I`m pretty good, but, ah!

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It`s me, Steve the Stapler. I`m going to...



BECK: I don`t know about you -- I mean, you know, that cost me, you know, quite a bit of dollars, but I think the lessons there are quite clear.

Thanks, Steve. Appreciate it.



BECK: I tell you, I have been dreading today for quite some time. I didn`t realize how much until I got up this morning. I shuffled into the kitchen. I dropped my English muffin in the toaster. I opened that refrigerator of mine. I reached in to grab that stuff to smear on it, and then it really hit me: He`s leaving us, America. He`s leaving us for good.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There are only a select few in this world who`s been blessed with the talent to elicit raw emotion in others. Some call them celebrities; others call them role models. We call them legends.

And when a legend retires, the world mourns, not for itself, but because it understands that future generations will be deprived of the experience.

Fabio Lanzoni, though your time to entertain and inspire us may be through, your legacy and your thick, lustrous hair lives on. By being a model, a humanitarian, and a butter derivative pitchman, you forever redefined the term "triple threat."

FABIO LANZONI, MALE MODEL: Better than the original?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The world took notice, Fabio, and it liked what it saw. We like the way you made us laugh. We admired you from afar, while still feeling like you were our best friend. And just when we thought there wasn`t any more of you to give, you got hit in the face by a bird.

Thank you, Fabio. Thank you.


BECK: A moment of silence, please. OK, I think I can go on.

Joining me now, king of romance, actor, model, lover of stuff that`s not butter, Fabio. God, you`re a handsome man.

LANZONI: Wow, that was amazing.

BECK: It is your life, sir; it is your life.

LANZONI: Amazing. Wow. What a montage.

BECK: So what kind of a hell cross do you have to bear?

LANZONI: I`m not retiring. You know, actually, you know, it was like, "You know, I Can`t Believe It`s Not Butter has been like a family to me.

BECK: Bull crap. It`s paycheck. It`s a paycheck!


LANZONI: Yes, no, it`s not. You know, I`ve been with them for 10 years.

BECK: Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Let me see if I can do this. Let me just look straight in the -- CNN is like a family. I can`t do it.


I can`t do it, man, you are good.

LANZONI: Well, you know, no, they`ve been really like a family to me. And they have many different products. And now they come it with a new one is called -- it`s the new and improved I Can`t Believe It`s Not Butter, so they`re looking for a youthful person. But trust me...

BECK: How much money is in the non-butter stuff?


BECK: I bet.

LANZONI: Almost as much as CNN, almost as much.


BECK: It would make you feel like family. "Oh, this family, I`d like to have it all over me."

LANZONI: Well, I tell you (INAUDIBLE) I`m not retiring. Actually, next year I`m going to be back.


BECK: So you`re doing the calendar, still?




LANZONI: I have a clothing line and...

BECK: Really?


BECK: Are you going to do the books still? Do you do the cover of the books still?

LANZONI: Not so much the books anymore.

BECK: Not so much?

LANZONI: Not so much.

BECK: You know what? A lot of people don`t know this about me, but I actually started -- I did book covers for a while, as well?

LANZONI: Did you write the books or were you on the covers?

BECK: No, I mean, I did the covers, you know, a little like you. A little like you.

LANZONI: You know, as a matter of fact, you know, it`s like, when I came in, you looked familiar. I thought you looked like...

BECK: Yes, no, "Lord of the Hissy Fit." That was me. That was me.

Let me ask you something, what kind of a hell life have you had with that head of hair? I can`t tell you how much I hate you.

LANZONI: Incredible. I mean, you know, it`s like I`ve been very blessed. You know...

BECK: You`re a bastard...

LANZONI: I know.

BECK: ... with a head of hair like that. You`re a bastard.

LANZONI: They say life is a bitch, right?

BECK: You know, you are a foreigner? They tell me that.

LANZONI: I`m from Brooklyn.

BECK: Yes, OK. You`re legally here?

LANZONI: I`m very legal.

BECK: Yes, what the hell is up with the World Cup thing?

LANZONI: Legally blonde.

BECK: Yes, I can`t bring myself to care about the World Cup. Do you care?

LANZONI: You know what? My favorite sport is motorcycles and American football. And, yes, you know, I follow a little bit soccer but, you know, it`s not like.

BECK: You`re an American then. Are you an American?

LANZONI: Oh, yes. You know, I`ve been in this country for, you know, a long time.

BECK: You ever thought about running for president? Oh, I forget, you can`t. All right.


LANZONI: I think Arnold is before me.

BECK: What country are you from?


BECK: Italy, the people that brought us the Fiat.



BECK: I have some yes or no questions for you, OK? Kind of get to know you.

LANZONI: Yes, yes.

BECK: You`re a nice guy.

LANZONI: Thank you, man. You, too.

BECK: Do you mean that?


BECK: Yes or no question.


BECK: Good. That`s the way we play the game. Here we go. You ready?


BECK: Chest waxing?


BECK: I can`t tell you how many women right now are going, "Oh, show it to me, baby."


BECK: No, no, please. Attack Iran?

LANZONI: Attack Iran?

BECK: Attack Iran. You know, lob some missiles their way, yes or no? Iran, the country.

LANZONI: Oh, attack Iran? Right away.


BECK: Wow. Nipple rouge?

LANZONI: Nuke `em.

BECK: Nipple rouge?

LANZONI: I don`t know what it is.

BECK: Yes, right. Border fence?

LANZONI: Definitely.

BECK: Gay marriage?

LANZONI: You know...

BECK: Whatever?

LANZONI: Whatever.

BECK: You`re nuke Iran, but whatever.

LANZONI: The world is beautiful because it`s colorful, you know?

BECK: All right. Butter?


BECK: Al Gore in `08?


BECK: In `08?

LANZONI: Hillary.

BECK: Wow, really? Metric system?


BECK: $2.50 a gallon gas, yes or no? Going to ever see it again?


BECK: Drill in the ANWR?

LANZONI: Alternative cars.

BECK: Really? Lather, rinse and repeat?

LANZONI: What was that? Can you repeat the last question?

BECK: Well, we`re out of time now.


Fabio, it`s been great.

LANZONI: Oh, please, it`s my pleasure, man. It was great. That was fun. This was fun!


BECK: Hi, I`m television`s Glenn Beck, and I`m sitting down to make you more comfortable. And in a soothing tone, it`s time for today`s "Ask Glenn."

"Hey, Glenn, why are there so many polls about everything? And what do they really prove and mean anyway? Unless they start polling everybody in America, maybe they should stop the poll mania. Mike, Ohio."

Great question, Mike. And the funny thing is, even if they did poll everybody in America, it still wouldn`t solve the problem.

Let me paint the picture for you here. Let`s say George Bush has ditched his SUV to save the environment, and he`s walking next though a 12- lane highway, and there, in the distance, he sees a litter of puppies in a paper bag, lying in the middle of the road.

He runs full speed, dodges 12 cars, and safely rescues the puppies. Then he stops and hands the puppies to a bunch of needy orphan children. "Thank you, Mr. President." He catches his breath and then rattles off the cure for cancer.

Then, some TV network calls everybody in America and asks this question: "Was George Bush right to save the puppies and cure cancer?" Do you really think that Cindy Sheehan is going to say, "Yes, I might have been wrong about him"? No! In fact, at this point, this guy might not even clear 50 percent.

No, he has. Wait a minute, congratulations, elephants, he has cleared 50 percent.

Here`s problem number one with the polls: People lie. They sometimes vote for who they want to win or sometimes they just, you know, answer for the way they want it reported. It`s human nature.

The next problem is sampling error. For a poll of 1,000 people to work to project the entire country, it has to be truly random, which opinion polls never are. Just a few years ago, about 6 percent of people didn`t even have phones. How do you call them? Then, also, people that are left out, people who work at night, people who screen their calls, and people who actually have what I like to call "a life."

Problem three is the way you ask the question. Let me show you the difference. It just is in tone. "Hey, did you try that pizza over there?" Or, "Hey, did you try that pizza over there?" I mean, there`s differences in the wording, too. "Did you try that pizza over there, the one that`s infected with the smallpox and covered in yak skin?"

You see? Ask the same question, do it in a different way, and you get a completely different result. So when you see a poll, remember that big pile of B.S. that goes into making every single one, just for you.

All right. Out of time. We`ll see you tomorrow. You know, unless a poll tells us we shouldn`t come back, then, you know, we wouldn`t be here, you know. We`ll watch the polls.



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