Return to Transcripts main page

Glenn Beck

Most Wanted Iraqi Terrorist Killed by Air Strike; Father Defends Soldier Who Refuses to Fight in Iraq; Why Don`t Americans Care About World Cup?

Aired June 08, 2006 - 19:00   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GLENN BECK, HOST: Oh yes. Oh, yes, give it to him. Bad Zarqawi. Naughty boy. Man, this stuff is some of the most erotic stuff I think I`ve ever seen.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: Do I need a cigarette now?

Earlier today, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the al Qaeda leader who masterminded several homicide bombings, kidnappings and beheadings, not really a nice guy, darn it, killed in a tragic air strike north of Baghdad. First of all, let me start here. Is it just me, or does he look a little like Pavarotti? Did you see the death photo of him?

I`m actually torn on this story, because I feel really good about it and I feel guilty about feeling good. Here`s where I`ve come to it. We can feel good that we killed not just somebody, but we killed somebody evil. And now, he`s not going to be able to kill anyone else.

To put this in context for us Americans, I think this is akin to the death of Bugsy Siegel. Bugsy and Zarqawi, "heroes" when they were making money for their organizations. But when they started acting like nut jobs and attracting attention to themselves? Their own people started getting a little annoyed, because their true intentions were being discovered and they wanted them gone.

Another reason to celebrate this, is because we have finally reached a day -- drink it in America -- where the press just can`t say anything bad about the war or our soldiers. It won`t last long. Don`t worry. I`m sure tomorrow they`ll find something to complain about. But today it`s all glory. Isn`t it? It`s all glory.

Tomorrow, it will be the smoke from the air strike that`s causing global warming on that several innocent little Iraqi chipmunks were injured in that attack. But until then, rejoice. A dangerous dirt bag is dead, and the world is a safer place.

Fawaz Gerges, he`s the author of "Journey Inside the" -- I`m sorry, "Journey of the Jihadist: Inside Muslim Militancy". He`s an expert the Middle East affairs.

How did we find Zarqawi?

FAWAZ GERGES, AUTHOR, "JOURNEY OF THE JIHADIST": Well, it seems to me, and this is really a very important point, is that one of the leading Sunni insurgents gave Zarqawi away. It`s a major, major breakthrough.

BECK: Now this is, because I`m seeing the future for, as I like to call him, President Tom, the president of Iran, where his own people turned on him because he was exposing the organization for what they are, brutal, brutal killers.

Isn`t this the same kind of thing that you could see happening in Iran where the president who are still nut jobs turn on the president of Iran because he`s exposing them?

GERGES: Well, as you know, I mean, you have a large number of young Iranians who really don`t care for the regime. I mean, there`s a great deal of social upheaval in Iran. The fact is that the Iranian president, Ahmadinejad, was elected by a minority. I mean, a large number of Iranians...

BECK: But to bring this back to al-Zarqawi. I`m not talking about the people who are electing him. I`m not talking about the people in the street, because the people the street in Iran -- in Iraq today are celebrating. I saw them dancing in the streets and shooting the guns, which is insane. But that`s a different story.

I`m talking about the people in the organization who are believers in terrorism, but they say this guy is just too nuts because he`s hurting the movement.

GERGES: I see. But then Zarqawi, I mean, basically made two major blunders. The first blunder, he alienated his own people, as you said.

BECK: Yes.

GERGES: The Sunni public opinion. He not only killed, I mean, coalition forces. He killed thousands of Shias and, in fact, he killed many Sunnis. He, as you know, Zarqawi had no friends in Iraq.

BECK: I like the president of Iran, because I know exactly who he is. He states his intentions clearly. I`m not getting some little P.R. move from him. And that was Zarqawi, too. You knew who this dirt bag was. Who is he going to be replaced by?

GERGES: I don`t think that al Qaeda in Iraq would really replace Zarqawi. Zarqawi was the founding father of the al Qaeda in Iraq. Zarqawi built al Qaeda in Iraq. Zarqawi was the most important senior commander in Iraq for al Qaeda. It`s very difficult to find a person who can really fill his shoes in Iraq. It`s a major, major blow.

BECK: Give me -- give me, on the war on terror in Iraq, and the way the war has been going, et cetera, et cetera. Ten being top of the scale; 10 is man, this is just the best news of all time and this is really good for our side, one being not so much. Where does that fall on the scale for this overall?

GERGES: I think overall, it`s about two and a half or three. Remember, Zarqawi is, even though, I mean, he killed thousands of Iraqis and hundreds of foreigners, remember, he remains a small player in the Iraqi equation. More than 95 percent of the insurgents in Iraq are indigenous, home grown Iraqis, according to American military commanders.

So even if you not only kill Zarqawi, even if you eliminate al Qaeda itself, the insurgency will likely remain vibrant according to American military commanders. And I don`t know if you paid attention to what General Casey today said and the president. General Casey today, George Casey said, "Listen, al Qaeda in Iraq will likely carry out more attacks." And the president said don`t expect violence to end. I mean...

BECK: Right. Nobody -- I don`t think anybody reasonable does. Fawaz, I`ve got to run. But thank you so much. I appreciate it.

Something tells me that if Zarqawi`s expecting to go to heaven with a bunch of virgins, he`s in for a little surprise. Call me crazy, but if you`ve ever beheaded anyone, I think you`re going to be spending all eternity in hell spoon-cuddling a naked Jeffrey Dahmer. Not so nice, especially if Zarqawi ever ate pork. Big no-no in Islam.

Today -- you know, today I was just trying to see, are we any different than the Palestinians that were handing out cake on the World Trade Center day? The answer is yes, very different. We just nailed a bad guy. We sent Stu, our producer on the radio show, out on the rainy streets of Manhattan to mark the death of Zarqawi with a homemade bacon cake.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

STU, PRODUCER OF "GLENN BECK" RADIO SHOW: I have a cake here, as you know.

BECK: Yes.

STU: It says, "Zarqawi Bacon Cake." And it has a chalk outline, or as you actually. You did it. It`s beautiful.

BECK: Thank you.

STU: It is a frosting cake decorating outline of his body.

BECK: Yes.

STU: And it was very tastefully done. I appreciate that.

BECK: Thank you. No, it was very nice.

Now, you also have a plate of a side of bacon if anybody wants the bacon.

STU: Yes, Kevin is here. He is holding the bacon right now.

BECK: OK.

STU: It`s a steaming pile of bacon for a side, in case someone wants it.

BECK: OK.

STU: Excuse me. Hi. So we have -- as you guys know, al-Zarqawi died?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yay!

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yay! Woo!

BECK: I have a feeling we have some cake takers.

STU: Would you guys like to have some celebration cake?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Of course. Yes.

BECK: OK. All right.

STU: Who`s ready for some cake, everybody?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes!

STU: All right. All right. They`re cutting it now. The cameras are there.

BECK: Yes.

And they`re all hit by a truck.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

BECK: Now, let`s go here.

Lieutenant Ehren Watada of the U.S. Army has refused orders to report to Iraq because he thinks the war is an illegal occupation. I`m going to tell you. We booked this interview a couple of days ago, and I have a very low tolerance for nonsense on this particular story on today.

You know, I think if he doesn`t want to go to Iraq, fine. He`s entitled to his opinion. He has a right to refuse his orders. But soldiers who refuse their orders go to jail, and so should he.

Also, if he was so against the war, why did he enlist in March 2003, the same month the war began in Iraq? I know, I know. He changed his mind. I`m not going to give anything to that crap.

Ehren Watada`s father is with me now.

Robert, welcome to the program. I really do respect your son`s opinion, but shouldn`t he accept the consequences?

ROBERT WATADA, FATHER OF EHREN WATADA: He understands what the consequences are. In Pakistan, they prosecute and they kill people who change from Muslim to Christianity.

BECK: What does that have to do, sir, with anything that is in the contract with your son? We`re not talking about changing to Christianity and chopping your son`s head off. Your son signed a contract, sir. He said he was going to serve. He`s decided not to serve. That`s totally fine, but shouldn`t he go to jail?

WATADA: If his punishment is jail, then that`s what he`s going to accept.

BECK: That`s what the contract says. Let me ask you this, sir. Will you take legal defense funds from Cindy Sheehan and the like?

WATADA: I understand that there are groups out there who have...

BECK: Not the question, sir. The question is will you accept the money from Cindy Sheehan and the antiwar people?

WATADA: You know, I don`t even know who they are. So you`re asking me a question that I can`t answer.

BECK: Yes, you can. You can make the decision. Let me just rephrase it. I`ll boil it down to the real question. Why, sir, do you need money for a legal defense if your son understands the consequence? Your son signed the contract -- excuse me, sir. Let me finish the question. Your son signed the contract. There are consequences. He has absolutely every right to do so.

I personally don`t want your son serving in Iraq because I have a nephew, Beau Meyers (ph), who happens to be in Iraq or will be shortly, and I don`t want your son watching his back. So he has an absolute right, but why do you need a legal defense fund, sir, if he`s going to accept the consequences? Why doesn`t he just stand up, say what he believes, take the pound of medicine that he has signed on to take?

WATADA: Well, because there may be need for legal cause.

BECK: Really? I wonder what that is, sir, and I find it very interesting, also, that you`re giving press conferences out there. Your son has a right to his opinion. Your son also has a duty to his country. He signed the contract. Live with the consequences.

Thank you from Hawaii.

Back in a minute.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: Do me a favor, will you? Would you just reassure me that you are not -- trying to make me see the lighter side of al-Zarqawi today?

CALLER: Oh, goodness gracious. Absolutely not. There`s nothing light about that side identify life. And people really need to understand how serious this situation is. I respect the fact that you believe in something and that you put that truth out there.

So no, I completely agree with you wholeheartedly if I`ve never agreed with about anything else. The al-Zarqawi, the whole al Qaeda is a whole -- all of it -- is a disgusting, disgusting thing to me. I`m completely against terrorism, and I am a Muslim.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: It is good to hear from Muslims like that.

Sports fans across the globe have a serious case of World Cup fever. Who would have known? And if you`re like me, you`re saying, "World Cup? Is that -- what is that, exactly?" Apparently, it`s the biggest sporting event in the world.

And, get this, the participants kick a little black and white ball around for 90 minutes. It`s something that they call -- and I hope I`m pronouncing this right -- soccer. But I -- you know, I don`t know a soul that gives a crap about soccer, and here`s why.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

BECK (voice-over): Some NASA scientists believe the universe is shaped, of all things, like a soccer ball. Makes sense. The entire universe lives for soccer, excluding the U.S. of A., of course. We don`t even like to call it by its real name, football. I don`t care what you call it. Americans don`t watch it. We don`t play it. We don`t even understand it.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Goal!

BECK: Now that`s the word we understand. Goal!

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Goal!

BECK: All right, amigo. OK. Enough already. What is it about the sport that we don`t understand? Do we lack something? We asked the experts.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Basically, Americans don`t appreciate soccer because -- or football because girls play it, and I think it`s tarnished from day one.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There`s not enough stats in football, is there? Americans are filling out scorecards and counting out little tiny averages.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There`s a lot more to football than just scoring goals. But I think slowly but surely, that message is probably getting across as well.

BECK: That`s true. The message is getting out. In fact, there`s a growing community of fans here in the U.S. Unfortunately, they`re all 9 years old.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I like to play soccer because it`s fun.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I like to play soccer because it`s fun.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Because it`s really fun.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I don`t really watch; I just play.

BECK: Sadly, that`s a motto he`ll stick by.

So what is it that makes soccer unappealing to grown-ups? Well, first we hate fakers. And in soccer, it`s part of the sport. They call it floppers. I mean, come on. Cut the theatrics. Is this a sport or Shakespeare in the park? Wait a minute. Is this guy crying? Buck up! Have some pride, man!

And another thing, soccer doesn`t have a recognizable American superstar. These guys on the U.S. lack that "it" factor. The closest we come is this man, and he`s British. David Beckham. Arguably, the world`s most famous athlete. If you know him, most likely it`s because he`s married to this girl.

So who`s America`s biggest superstar? Yes, that`s right? Sylvester Stallone.

SEAN WILSEY, CO-AUTHOR, "THE THINKING FAN`S GUIDE TO THE WORLD CUP": Sly was in "Victory", right? Which is, like, the movie that most people in America relate to as, the introduction to soccer.

BECK: We also crave contact, real pain, with our sporting. But not in the stands people. Come on. Us Americans are more civilized than that.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He has jumped over the scoring table...

BECK: OK, and that one was a freak accident. So let`s agree on this. It`s a cultural thing. But for the next month, America, let`s give soccer a chance and vote for our mates on Team USA. Lord knows we can`t keep this guy as our most recognized soccer star.

SYLVESTER STALLONE, ACTOR: What, is this game for old ladies and fairies? I quit.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

BECK: All right. Joining me now is soccer commentator Tommy Smyth, with a "Y". And Tommy, that`s really my question for you, why?

TOMMY SMYTH, SOCCER COMMENTATOR: How are you?

BECK: I`m good.

SMYTH: I`m delighted to be here for you. See, I brought a special tie especially for you. Because this is a soccer ball. I know you have to be told what it is. That`s a soccer ball.

BECK: Exactly right. Let me tell you something. Everybody in America, unless you`re 12 years old, you need to be told it`s a soccer ball. Nobody in America gives a flying crap about the World Cup. Why do you suppose that is?

SMYTH: That`s changing, then. I think this time around, you`re going to find out that people are starting to realize that watching a good game of football is watching -- it`s like watching the sun go down with your favorite woman.

BECK: Right, right. And you`re exactly right. A good game of football is. But this is soccer as we like to call it here in America.

SMYTH: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, then. Wait a minute, then. How you can call football something that you spend 90 percent of the game throwing? It should be called throwball.

BECK: Right.

SMYTH: This is real football. You`re talking about football now.

BECK: We should rename boxing soccer.

SMYTH: Yes, maybe.

BECK: If we`re going to play that game, we can play that all day.

You know, when I think of -- when I think of soccer, I don`t know why it is, call me crazy, I think of drunk fans. I think of racists and I think of riots. You know what? I think World War III will start at a World Cup game.

SMYTH: Hopefully, you`re wrong. I mean, there are certain problems within the sport. I mean, there are certainly problems within society. Are you going to say that all of society is wrong because these problems exist within them?

BECK: No, but I think that the soccer crowd has more higher percentage of whack jobs.

SMYTH: I tend to disagree with you. But we can debate that.

BECK: You notice -- you notice -- I just want to point out to America. Tommy said he tended to disagree with me, which doesn`t mean the same thing as disagreeing with me, now does it, Tommy?

SMYTH: Well, I`m disagreeing, but I`m being nice. And I`m going to get on with the interview because I think we could get bogged down with this situation.

BECK: I just -- I just -- I do want to ask you a serious question. But because it is really getting nasty. I read a couple weeks ago about -- I think it was in Germany they were throwing bananas down on the field to black players. What`s happening to the game?

SMYTH: Well, some people, you know. There is ignorance on every level no matter what you`re involved in. And certainly, there is a very small percentage of fans who do get themselves involved in this kind of situation. But the vast majority of fans then are there to enjoy the game.

BECK: Right.

SMYTH: And you`re going to see that at the World Cup.

BECK: Excuse me ignorance. But to the Americans, are we any good?

SMYTH: Yes, the Americans are good. I mean, the fact that you made the last 32. You remember, at this competition, there started out 194 teams in this competition. There has been over 800 games played in this competition.

So you get down now until you have the best 32 teams representing the countries in the world who have gotten to the World Cup final.

BECK: All right. Tommy, I appreciate it. Thanks a lot.

SMYTH: Take care.

BECK: Bye-bye.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECK: Well, we could be elitist and just talk to people here in Manhattan, or we could check with one of my friends in Chicago and find out what`s happening in the rest of the country. Roe Conn, he`s from WLS, 890 AM in Chicago.

Hello, Roe.

ROE CONN, RADIO TALK SHOW HOST: Hello, Glenn.

BECK: So it looks like you have a beautiful day in Chicago. We`ve got rain here in New York.

CONN: Yes, I know. It`s absolutely amazing here. I think that weather`s coming your way.

Let`s get started on something very, very important. I know the big news today is all about the Middle East. But let`s go to Heather Mills for just a second. You know Heather Mills.

BECK: Sure.

CONN: She was the soon to be ex-wife of Paul McCartney. She`s the one who claims she didn`t really quite know who Paul McCartney was.

BECK: Sure.

CONN: She was photographed in 1988. She was photographed in what she`s calling a "lover`s guide." Everybody else is calling it just flat porn around the world.

BECK: It looked like a lover`s guide. I mean, it is. You can be lovers and have her in a leash, I suppose. But it does strikes me as a little pornographic.

CONN: Yes, just a little bit. There`s no text in this lover`s guide, by the way. I think in terms of, like, it`s a how to. You know, flap A, slot B, whatever that is.

BECK: Attach leash here. That doesn`t seem very hard.

CONN: Well, anyway, she says it`s a lover`s guide. I think this is just another case of the lawyers getting out there trying to get her to knock her number down.

BECK: Sure. Sure.

CONN: We`ll see what happens there. Speaking of divorce lawyers, let me lead you on this one for a second.

BECK: She sounds naughty and might need a spanking later.

CONN: Yuk.

You know, the Defense of Marriage Act that was shot down in the Senate.

BECK: Yes. What a surprise.

CONN: Well, you know what I think? You know what is the story behind this? I think the divorce lawyers are behind this. I think they`re the ones who have the most to gain from that going through. Here`s why.

Do you know that the divorce rate is not 50 percent? Everybody says it is 50 percent, but it`s a flawed number. It`s really closer to 38 percent and declining. So if you want to be in the growth industry of divorce law, what better way than to get gay people to get married?

BECK: You need more people. You need more chances, more opportunities.

CONN: Absolutely.

BECK: Yes. You know, when you look at the numbers on marriage, it is stunning. You know, people say, if everybody is getting divorced, why should I get married? Actually if you are educated, if you don`t sleep with the person prior to marriage, there`s a couple of things. Your odds of staying married are about 70 percent in America.

CONN: And the divorce lawyers don`t like that.

BECK: I know.

CONN: They need more divorces.

BECK: I know. Cha-ching.

CONN: All right. Let`s talk about what happened in Florida. Sort of very, very weird. Just one of these high school groups is learning crime scene investigation forensics.

Well, teachers went out in a field, get to a bunch of stuff. Kids had to go out and figure out what it is. They run across a dead body. Now, the assumption here is not that the teachers placed that. But it`s a homeless guy who dropped dead in the park. Still trying to figure out exactly what that was.

But the kids weren`t sure it was real. I think they should fail the class for that. Don`t you?

BECK: I think yes. If you`re not really sure. It looks real, but I ain`t going to touch it. You probably shouldn`t be in that class.

CONN: Probably not. Probably not.

BECK: Just saying. Just saying.

CONN: Now, finally, remember here in Chicago, a couple months ago, the city council actually banned foie gras, because they were afraid about the ducks, the ducks were suffering. It`s the liver.

BECK: Yummy.

CONN: Well, now they want to ban -- listen to this -- cooking oil, because cooking oil can make you fat.

BECK: Everything can make you fat except the stuff that I don`t want to eat.

CONN: Yes.

BECK: Cut me some slack.

Roe, we`ll talk to you soon on WLS in Chicago, 890 AM. Thanks a lot.

CONN: Thanks, Glenn.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CALLER: Hi, Glenn. I`ll tell you what. I`ve been a listener to you since right after 9/11. And hearing you talk about wanting to hand out cake and celebrating Zarqawi`s death, I`m very disappointed, Glenn. I`m just really disappointed.

BECK: You are? Really?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes. Well, see, because you`re in New York and I`m in Ohio, and I can`t get any of it.

BECK: OK, there`s one. I`ll take that as one vote, no, we`re not above the Palestinians. That`s one vote for that -- well, nobody -- you know, now he`s gone. Shoot, I should have asked him. We have to cancel that, because I didn`t ask him the follow-up question. Are you just a lover of cake? Maybe he`s just an enormous fat man that wanted cake.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: Bacon cake.

Great movie that is coming out this weekend, one for the whole family. It`s, you know, a real-life lesson. It`s about a hotshot who thinks he`s living the dream life, until he gets lost, winds up in a sleepy, little town where everybody could really care less about who is he, finds out maybe he`s not such a big deal after all. The only thing is: He`s a car.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You`re in Radiator Springs.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Just great.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, you think that`s great? You should see the rest of the town.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You know, I`d love to see the rest of the town.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: (INAUDIBLE) what did I tell you about talking to the accused?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: To not to.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, quick your yapping and toe this delinquent road hazard to traffic court.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We`re going to talk later, mater.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Later, mater. That`s funny.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: "Cars" is from the same people who made "Finding Nemo" and "The Incredibles." Christy Lemire is the critic for the program and she`s also with the Associated Press.

It looks a little better than David Hasselhoff`s talking car in "Knight Rider," Christy. What did you think of the movie?

CHRISTY LEMIRE, MOVIE CRITIC, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS: I loved Kit. They show old "Knight Rider" reruns all the time on TV. They`ve aged beautifully.

BECK: Really?

LEMIRE: Really. You know what? The problem with "Cars" -- you know what "Cars" is? It`s an animated, automotive version of "Doc Hollywood." Remember "Doc Hollywood," 1991? Michael J. Fox is a hotshot doctor on his way to Los Angeles, has a crash, gets stuck in a small town, has to do community service. And while he`s there, he learns the value of family and friendship. And this is just like that.

BECK: I`m not remembering "Doc Hollywood" fondly.

LEMIRE: It`s a gem. It`s a gem in the Michael J. Fox canon.

BECK: Is it now? Yes.

LEMIRE: You know, I`ll tell you what. It`s still better than most animated films, like "Shark Tale," like "Madagascar," where they just throw a bunch of pop culture references out there and they call it a script. Having said that, it`s probably the weakest Pixar film ever. I mean, you mentioned "Finding Nemo." You`ve also got the "Toy Story" movies. And I loved "Monsters, Inc." Like, I cried at "Monsters, Inc." I`ll admit it.

BECK: Yes, I did. I`ll tell you, one of my favorite lines of any movie of all time is "Kitty?" I loved the ending of "Monsters, Inc."

LEMIRE: Yes, no, it`s really good.

BECK: I have been looking forward to, you know, taking Raphe to see this, but I hear it`s like the Peter Jackson of Pixar films.

LEMIRE: Yes, it`s two hours long. And I went to a screening of it, and there were little kids running around toward the end. Maybe some kids can sit still for that long. I don`t know.

BECK: Two hours? I can`t sit still for two hours.

LEMIRE: Right, it`s long.

BECK: Will the kids like it?

LEMIRE: I think so. It`s fast; it`s colorful; it`s funny. So kids will like it, yes. DVD rental, definitely.

BECK: OK, what else is coming out this weekend?

LEMIRE: All right, the other thing you`ve got is "A Prairie Home Companion," which is based on the NPR radio show by Garrison Keillor.

BECK: Hmm. Love NPR.

LEMIRE: Yes, so this is very much catering to that audience.

BECK: OK, so it`s slow, just drive-you-out-of-your-mind slow? I actually like "Prairie Home Companion." I think Garrison Keillor is great.

LEMIRE: Well, then you`ll love this movie.

BECK: Really?

LEMIRE: And also it`s a Robert Altman movie, and so it is slow and meandering. You know, draggy, like little nuggets of greatness in between there, but you`ve got to wait for them.

BECK: Wow.

LEMIRE: And typical of Altman, it has a huge, all-star cast. You`ve got Meryl Streep, Lindsay Lohan, Kevin Kline. Virginia Madsen wandered around backstage in a white trench coat as the angel of death.

BECK: It`s amazing how many people are in this movie. It`s got everybody in Hollywood.

LEMIRE: Yes, Altman gets huge casts. And so I think if you love him, if you love this radio show, it`s very faithful to the show, really silly songs and corny ads.

BECK: OK, good. And do we have anything that`s coming that`s good coming out on DVD?

LEMIRE: I don`t know if it`s good, but it`s a family-friendly thing. It`s "Glory Road," which is based on the true story of the 1956 Texas Western University basketball team, that now is University of Texas at El Paso. And the coach, Don Haskins, started five black players, unprecedented. It`s a great story; it`s a true story. Has enough innate drama in it.

BECK: Saw "Hoosiers." Do I need to go any deeper than that?

LEMIRE: No, it`s not "Hoosiers." It`s really good. But it`s also -- it`s a Jerry Bruckheimer production and so there`s no such thing as subtlety, so they can`t just like let the drama play out for itself. They have to, like, hammer you over the head.

BECK: Right, it`s a Bruckheimer film. There`s got to be somebody grappling down the side of the building and then blowing cars up.

LEMIRE: Noisily. Noisily.

BECK: I appreciate it, Christy. Thanks a lot. See you next week.

LEMIRE: Bye.

BECK: You bet.

ANNOUNCER: This is GLENN BECK.

BECK: Now, we`ve got our good friend, Brian Sack, who`s here. I mean, movie critics, OK, I`m alright with that. Someone who critiques me? Not so much, especially when they`re claiming to be, you know, "objective" and "independent."

And, Brian, I don`t think you are.

BRIAN SACK, PUBLIC VIEWER: I am objective. I am independent...

BECK: Come on.

SACK: ... and I`m like -- think of me as a therapist to you.

BECK: No, I appreciate that.

SACK: I guide you. I tell you what you`re doing right, what you`re doing wrong, and I can prescribe medication if you ask me.

(CROSSTALK)

BECK: Sure, OK, good, I`m about ready to have some. Go ahead and tell me what we did wrong this week.

SACK: What you did wrong this week. Well, I`m a little concerned about the speed, the pacing of things, because I think, you know, this could lead to health problems, this hectic schedule you have. And I`ve prepared some video to show you what I mean to kind of highlight the potential problems...

BECK: Yes, go ahead.

SACK: ... when you`re constantly rushing.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We won`t be able to do our job, which is to secure our country and secure the integrity of our religion, which is what we consistently do.

BECK: Ahmed, I`ve got to run. Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: ... normal sexual development.

BECK: Right. Roger, I`ve got to run. We got another guest waiting. I appreciate it. Thank you very much.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: ... because the family really didn`t want him to get life...

BECK: Yes, that`s insane. Judge...

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Thirty years is not a walk in the park, either way.

BECK: I`ve got to run. Thanks a lot. Appreciate it.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: Brian, this is the only time that I do run.

SACK: Why don`t you take some time with these guys? Give them a little...

(CROSSTALK)

BECK: I wish I could. You know what? I can`t get enough stuff in to this show.

SACK: You`re cramming too many people in the show.

BECK: Holy cow.

SACK: Give them a couple of minutes.

BECK: You know what? Then we could just move on from you.

SACK: Oh, hey, let`s keep going then.

Moving on, with the exorcism piece that you had on 6-6-06...

BECK: Hurry, because I`ve got to run.

SACK: ... the big nothing day. Well, first of all, I`m going to show you a clip here, which I thought was really interesting. This falls under the "obvious questions you should have asked" department. What we`ve got here is the Web clip.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, I`ve looked in the eyes of evil many a-time. In that particular videotape, that person was involved with an ancient form of Makumba.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

SACK: OK, now, you know, Makumba, is that familiar to you? Because I don`t think anybody in the country knows what Makumba is. You didn`t ask any questions.

(CROSSTALK)

BECK: I was going to, but I thought, "I`ve got other questions I got to ask him."

(CROSSTALK)

BECK: I could have spent 20 minutes on Makumba.

SACK: No time to go into Makumba. Let`s keep going.

BECK: I know. I said to him, "I hate when they get into that." I did say that.

SACK: More interesting than that was the actual exorcism here. Now, you know, he`s performing this in an Olive Garden, apparently. And you don`t even notice -- you don`t ask any questions about the bottle of olive oil that`s sitting there on the table. What does that have to do with an exorcism?

BECK: I think that`s for the holy anointing.

SACK: The holy anointing.

BECK: I think that`s what it is.

SACK: But you didn`t feel like asking why that was there?

(CROSSTALK)

BECK: No, he spooked me a little bit, you know.

(CROSSTALK)

SACK: OK, a little Caesar salad?

BECK: Anybody who`s doing like -- "Hey, by the way, this weekend, I`m doing some exorcisms, as well."

SACK: Have some Caesar salad and get rid of a devil? All right.

Moving on with Erica Hill, the lovely Erica Hill, who I get lots of e- mail on.

BECK: Love her.

SACK: People adore her. She`s gorgeous, and friendly, and nice, and sweet.

BECK: Yes. She hates me, I think.

SACK: Well, you know, that`s -- I just want to -- does your wife punch you during these segments, by any chance?

BECK: Yes, actually, she does. But why do you say that she does?

SACK: Well, I`m going to show you this one. This is from the other night. It`s you and Erica.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: Where are you going?

ERICA HILL, CNN HEADLINE NEWS ANCHOR: I`m heading home to Connecticut for my cousin`s wedding.

BECK: Really?

HILL: Yes.

BECK: I live in Connecticut. Maybe you can swing on by and...

HILL: We`ll see.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: Here`s the thing. Here`s the thing.

SACK: You know, it didn`t work in high school. It`s not going to work on national TV.

BECK: I know. I know. I know. Here`s the thing with Erica. I adore this woman. She is just so great.

SACK: Oh, yes, she is.

BECK: But she`s a journalist, so they`ve said to her, "Don`t move your eyes. Don`t do anything."

SACK: Don`t show any emotions.

BECK: I absolutely -- it is my mission to make her laugh. It`s my mission to have her move her eyes from time to time.

SACK: Well, I feel sorry for her.

(CROSSTALK)

BECK: Can`t get it done yet.

SACK: And moving onward. I`m a little concerned we might be running out of guests if you continue to abuse them.

BECK: What do you mean? Only today.

SACK: Well, I -- you know...

BECK: Today is the first day that I think I`ve abused...

(CROSSTALK)

SACK: Oh, really? Really?

BECK: Yes.

(CROSSTALK)

SACK: Well, I have a videotape that may prove otherwise.

BECK: OK.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: I think you are a nut job, but, strangely enough, a serious nut job.

You`re a bastard with a head of hair like that. You`re a bastard

FABIO, MALE MODEL: They say life is a bitch, right?

MOLLY SIMS, MODEL: I got you one.

BECK: Shut up, it`s an $11,000 pen.

SIMS: Very beautiful. You should...

(CROSSTALK)

BECK: Shut the hell up. Is it really?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

SACK: Shut the hell up, Molly Sims.

BECK: Well, you know, I`m not afraid to say it, "Shut the hell up, Brian."

SACK: Are you talking to me?

BECK: I`m talking to you.

SACK: And, another thing, if we have a little time for this, this would be -- Pat, we got some e-mail on this, Pat Gray. And folks would like him to commit...

BECK: What do you mean?

SACK: ... to either shaving or growing the beard out, but they cannot have the 50-50. He cannot be libertarian on this issue. He kind of has to pick a side.

BECK: All right. I`ll let him know. He appreciates this moment, I`m sure he does.

SACK: I`m sure he will.

BECK: Yes, that`s great.

SACK: Well, that`s all I`ve got, actually, unless you want me to make stuff up.

BECK: No, no, and you`ve got a Web address.

SACK: PublicViewer@GlennBeck.com.

BECK: I`ve got one, too. It`s me@GlennBeck.com. Send your critique of Brian to me@GlennBeck.com.

SACK: Kirk out.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECK: If the war on terror is never going to end, and sometimes it doesn`t feel like it`s going to, the best way to deal with it is with a little humor. My next guest does it better than most.

You`ve seen him on Comedy Central. He`s back together one last time for the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Their show, "One for the Road," is out on DVD this summer. And, just like Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy, Ron White doesn`t really pull any punches.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

RON WHITE, COMEDIAN: I get chastised publicly and in the media for my position of the death penalty. They don`t even know the half of it, because in the Moussaoui case, I`d want to be the guy that set the execution date, and I`d set it for 1:00 a.m. the day they set clocks forward.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

Just so I can walk in there and go, "Well, it looks like you got about another hour, Moussaoui. Nope, spring forward, ass(bleep).

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: Joining us from Philadelphia, scotch-drinking, cigar-smoking, laugh-evoking, gun-toting, I would imagine, comedian Ron White. His book, "I Had the Right to Remain Silent, But Not the Ability," in stores now.

Ron, happy death-to-al-Zarqawi day to you.

WHITE: Hey, listen, thanks a lot. And I wanted to say this before we go any further: If Tom DeLay thinks there`s a heated battle for his seat now, wait until he gets to prison.

(LAUGHTER)

BECK: I mean, I don`t think this is necessary. I mean, I don`t think it`s necessary. Are you celebrating tonight with al-Zarqawi?

WHITE: Yes, you know what? I am celebrating. That guy needed to go, and we got him. So I am celebrating, yes, I am.

BECK: The war on terror, man, I mean, it doesn`t seem like it`s just ever going to end, but it`s great, when you`re in the comedy dollars, there`s a lot to pick on, isn`t there?

WHITE: Well, yes, there is, you know, but I`ve got a kid, you know. I`ve got a boy, so it`s hard for me to find much fodder in that.

BECK: Well, now wait a minute. You`re telling me that you`re not just a little sad that you got to cut that great Zarqawi joke now from the routine?

WHITE: I`d already kind of -- I already milked it for all it is worth. I was done with it. It didn`t matter what happened to him.

BECK: This is so weird, because yesterday -- was it yesterday, were you on the...

WHITE: It was absolutely yesterday. It seems like a month ago.

BECK: I know. Yesterday, you were in New York, and I had you on the radio show. And we were hanging out a little bit yesterday. And now you`re in Philadelphia, my old stomping ground, and...

WHITE: Right, and you`re in Manhattan, and we`re still trying to work together.

BECK: You know, the thing that I was interested to ask you yesterday, because, you know, I`ve seen you, and you`re just historical, but I wondered if it was a Dean Martin kind of thing, where they say that was apple juice in Dean Martin`s glass.

WHITE: Well, let me tell you a little something. We did a Foxworthy roast last year, I believe, in Manhattan. And to get ready for that, you could still get those old Dean Martin roasts. So I just wanted -- you know, just to kind of get a frame of reference for how it`s done, because I`d never really seen it. That man was drunk. Dean Martin was never that good an actor. This was a drunk man.

BECK: I`ve got to tell you, I was -- you know, I`m a recovering alcoholic. And I was drunk for a long, long time. And no matter what I thought on drugs and alcohol, my performance level went down. Are you telling me that your performance level goes up, because it really is booze in your glass on stage?

WHITE: Yes, it really is booze. Some people say I`m an alcoholic, but I only drink when I work, so I`m actually a workaholic.

BECK: Right. Right, I got it.

WHITE: And I`m looking for work now.

BECK: I`ve got to tell you, for a long time, you know, when I was drinking, I was living the code, man. I was only drinking one day at a time.

WHITE: Well, there you -- no, actually, when I look at myself on stage, I can tell -- I mean, if I look at tape and I think I`m doing a great job, but I`m actually a little too baked, I see it. And my fans, though, luckily forgive me in advance for any transgression I might make on stage. I think most of them do.

BECK: Are you baked now?

WHITE: Absolutely not. I`m not even smoking. I`ve still got that thing with my voice going on that you were helping me with.

BECK: So do people really tell you that you`re an alcoholic or is that just a joke?

WHITE: No, they don`t tell me I`m an alcoholic. They...

BECK: What is the Tater Salad thing? Where`d that come from?

WHITE: Years ago, I was walking into a bar in New York, and I had a hat on. And the guy told me to take the hat off, and I asked him what the deal was. And he said, "Gay people in this area wear hats, and we`re trying to keep them out of our club." And I said, "Oh, really? Because the only way we can tell in Texas is if they have their hair cut like yours."

And I eventually, to make a long story short, I got thrown out of the bar and beaten up. Or, I wasn`t beaten up. I just got beat up in the process.

And 17 years earlier, in my own hometown of Rich, Texas, (ph) I was arrested for being drunk in public. And the arresting officer, who I had literally known all my life, when we got there, he said, "Do you have any aliases?" when we got to jail. And I said, "Yes, they call me Tater Salad." And I was just jacking with him.

Seventeen years later at New York City, I`m handcuffed on a bench with blood coming out of my nose, and this cop goes, "Are you Ron "Tater Salad" White?" And I`m like "You caught me. You caught the Tater. You can take down those roadblocks."

BECK: So what`s the history of you? Where did you come from? What`s your background? When you were growing up, what did they -- I know they probably said you would do -- what did you want to do? Is this it?

WHITE: You know what? I don`t think it was really ever offered to me on career day as an option for me to be able to work an hour a day and drink free and...

BECK: Right. No, but I mean, what were you thinking -- when you were growing up, what did you think you wanted to be?

WHITE: You know what? Do you remember what you thought you wanted to be? Glenn, I had no idea.

BECK: Yes. Really? Eight years old, I wanted to be in radio, eight years old.

WHITE: Oh, you did not, eight years old?

BECK: No, I did. I swear to you. Eight years old. On my eighth birthday, my mom gave me an album. I have it on my wall in my office. It`s the golden years of radio, and I was a weird kid, man. I would listen to Orson Welles and all that stuff. At eight, I wanted to be on the radio. At 13, I was.

WHITE: See, I didn`t know that. I didn`t know you`ve been on the radio for...

BECK: No, absolutely.

WHITE: ... 54 years. That`s a long time.

BECK: I don`t think that`s necessary.

WHITE: Actually, it didn`t dawn on me. I came out of Vietnam with a drug problem I would have put up against anybody that wasn`t in rock `n` roll full time. And I ended up probated by the courts to a drug abuse program. Then I went to work for the drug abuse program as a counselor, and it was also a 12-step program. And I needed to be there, also, much more severe than what I do now. Now, I`m just keeping my demons in check with a little scotch.

BECK: Good for you. You know, Ron, I`m out of talent -- time. I would love to continue the conversation. Best of luck, and your book is great.

WHITE: Glenn, thank you.

BECK: Thank you. Bye-bye.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECK: I mean, sure, we could talk the entire show about, you know, how we killed the biggest terrorist in Iraq. But why would we, when we have two attractive people who are famous and they`ve got a child? And, you know, the parents are important, because the media has taken time to give their relationship a fancy combination of their names.

No, no, it`s not Bennifer, the ill-fated Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez coupling. It`s not TomKat, the Scientology twins, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. And it`s not even Greenspandrea, you know, those are the hot lovers Alan Greenspan and Andrea Mitchell.

What we`re talking about is Brangelina, all right, our favorite non- married-parental-semi-union between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. They`re on the cover with a new kid in the tabloids here in New York. I love looking at the loving gazes here, Angelina staring lovingly at Brad, Brad staring lovingly at baby Shiloh. It`s great.

Except this isn`t real life. In real life, the baby is looking here. Brad is looking here. That`s it; that`s real life. And on the inside, if you open it up, there`s this picture.

Am I the only person thinking that maybe they`ve already injected collagen into the lips of the child? And how happy is Kingsley? Can you zoom in on this? How happy is Kingsley? Did they pay for this? It`s a close-up of their logo. Their logo is in focus, but Brad Pitt isn`t? Come on.

We just combined the massive journalistic power of CNN Headline News, CNN International, and Yahoo! Search, and we found the t-shirt that is probably sold out of every store in the universe right now. Here it is. This is the t-shirt baby Shiloh is wearing. It`s a boy`s t-shirt -- but, hey, it`s a Hollywood. You know, I mean, what would you expect?

Brad and Angelina reportedly received $4.1 million from "People" for the U.S. rights to those photos, another $3.5 million for the British rights from "Hello" magazine, which, by the way, is my favorite magazine named after a greeting.

They supposedly are giving most, if not all of it, to African charities. Here`s my prediction: Shiloh, born in "Nanibia," she`s a citizen. She`ll be president of "Nanibia" by the age of 13. No, I mean it, for no other reason, you know, than they know her parents will probably visit a lot. Angelina Jolie can come in and she can have a massage, and protein shake, and triple the country`s entire GNP.

So congratulations to the happy parents. And give me the Greenspandrea picture again, will you? There it is. Wait a minute, I`m the only one that`s seeing this? Look at that. I thought so. See you tomorrow, you sick freak.

END