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Glenn Beck

Ask a Mexican about Illegal Immigration; Elliott Yamin Talks about Hometown Support

Aired June 20, 2006 - 19:00   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GLENN BECK, HOST: Oh, no. What did I do last night?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: Life on the road is tough. I`ve already eaten my weight in Virginia ham today.

We`re here in beautiful Richmond, Virginia, the birth state of such American icons as George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Pat Benetar. So I`m here now with my Midlife Crisis Tour. We`ve got a lot of stuff to do today, including the first ever news cartoon, coming up in a second.

First, I want to talk about illegal immigration. Big problem. President says he wants to build a virtual fence along the Mexican border. Love that George. No, seriously. And then we can make a virtual fence around the White House. See how well you sleep at night.

A fence is OK, but if you`re going to build one down south, what do you say we build one up north, as well. Canada seems to be a problem lately. Not only, you know, would it keep the terrorists out. I believe the added benefit is it might prevent Celine Dion from recording yet another horrible album and shipping it down here.

Here`s another thing I`d do. Instead of going after the guy who, you know, is breaking into the country just trying to make a better life for himself, instead of just -- just doing that, what do you say we all go after the companies that are hiring illegals? Yes, that`s right, evil conservative, and I`m going after big business? This guy makes no sense at all.

Gustavo Arellano, he`s the writer of "Ask a Mexican" column for the "Orange County Weekly". Try to find the hate mongering in that one. Will you?

GUSTAVO ARELLANO, COLUMNIST, "ORANGE COUNTY WEEKLY": Congratulations, Glenn. You`re now a dirty hippie. You`re attacking corporations now. We started on -- America was started on exploiting cheap labor, cheap immigrant labor. What are you now?

BECK: I love that. Yes, no, I love that. You know what, it`s a two- part plan. Actually, I have three, but I`m not going to bore you with the second part. Two-part plan. One, you know, let`s -- let`s go after these big companies. That`s part of it. Stop -- build a fence, stop the people from coming in, but then choke the companies off. Why can`t we do that?

ARELLANO: Definitely. I think they`re getting -- a lot of conservatives are getting to that. Its` not the immigrants themselves that`s a problem. Corporations are just exploiting them, and nobody wants to let people exploit it.

BECK: I don`t -- I can`t hear you. You`re just "la, la, la, la." Conservatives are finally coming to that point?

ARELLANO: yes.

BECK: Conservatives have been here the whole time. The president hasn`t been here. Congress hasn`t been here. Us conservatives have been here the whole time. Hello.

ARELLANO: I thought the last -- we`ve been criticizing corporations, capitalism, if you will, for the past, what, 300 years. And now you guys are finally coming to that. It`s great, though. God bless you guys.

BECK: No, no, no. I`m not -- no, no, I`m not criticizing capitalism. Seems to work, capitalism. Abusing people doesn`t work. And that`s what these companies are doing.

ARELLANO: Literally.

BECK: Using workers.

ARELLANO: No, definitely. I`m glad to hear that, that people are realizing that. And it`s gone beyond explaining people to just trying to get, you know, a fair and decent wage for people who are already here in this country.

BECK: So, no. Bye-bye. They`re going home, as far as I`m concerned.

Let me ask you this. This is -- this is a hot button issue with me, and since we`ve already agreed on one, do you believe -- do you say salsa is now the No. 1 condiment in America?

ARELLANO: It`s been there for the past decade.

BECK: Right. Is that some sort of mind control drug, or is that just the Trojan horse?

ARELLANO: Oh, my gosh.

BECK: It`s like Canadian bacon. It is. It`s like Canadian bacon. The Canadians started putting that round little bacon. It`s on all the Egg McMuffins. I know what you`re doing, Canada. I`m on to you.

ARELLANO: You discovered our conspiracy. We`re going to overwhelm you with our population, but we`re going to fry your brain with salsa. We`re not only immune to that, now we`re going to take you back over.

BECK: I know that. Four percent increase of people coming into the country across the border, 4 percent. Gee, what do you suppose that`s from?

ARELLANO: Well, it`s all this talk of amnesty, of course, that we hear -- Mexicans hear about amnesty. But you can even build the fence. You can put the virtual border, which I also like, too, because we`re going to pass it with our virtual passports, and Mexicans will still continue to come as long as the situation in Mexico is terrible.

BECK: Yes, I know. And they`re going to bring their salsa, right, along with them, Gustavo.

ARELLANO: Yes, we`re going to bring our virtual salsa.

BECK: Close the taco hole. I know what you`re saying right now. Gustavo, thanks a lot, man.

ARELLANO: Hey, thanks a lot.

BECK: Bye-bye.

All right. Gustavo, illegal immigration. I think that it`s a lot like Jean-Claude Van Damme. You know, big annoying problem, damages our economy. Really -- won`t really leave us alone, won`t go away. Plus, illegal immigration, just like Van Damme, seemingly been around forever. Nobody really knows why. Hmm.

Here now, for educational purposes only, please, our very first news cartoon. It`s the history of illegal immigration.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

ANNOUNCER: And now the history of illegal immigration. In a couple of minutes.

BECK: Illegal immigration is as old as, well, immigration itself. In 1890 the headlines of the "L.A. Times" proclaimed "More Illegal Immigration." So how have we gone 116 years without any progress?

To understand, we`ve got to go, way back, all the way to the war you probably never even heard of. In 1846 the U.S. formally declared war on Mexico under the leadership of a very underrated president, President Polk. It seemed Mexico was hoping to take Texas back, and Polk wasn`t having that.

Texas is mine.

Texas is mine.

Texas is mine.

You can keep it.

Two years and almost 14,000 American lives later a treaty was signed, and the U.S. paid $15 million for the land. It`s now modern day California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas, along with parts of Colorado, Nevada and Utah. Offer not available in Hawaii.

With inflation that`s $279 million. Still, that`s less than the value of the Colorado Rockies baseball franchise. Not a bad deal, huh?

1924. There was barely any border security in place, 89,000 Mexicans come to the U.S. on permanent visas. By 1950 the "L.A. Times" was declaring "Thousands of Mexicans Illegally Cross the U.S. Border Each Month." Sound a little familiar?

A few years later...

ANNOUNCER: Warning, historically accurate, but politically incorrect phrase about to be uttered.

BECK: Operation Wetback. Wow. Imagine using that name now.

Gee, that sounds a little politically incorrect. Operation Wetback was started by the government to round up illegal aliens. Over a million were deported in over a year, but in doing so, agents profiled anyone who looked like a Mexican. Understandably, Mexican-Americans weren`t so happy, and the program was canceled.

Good news for kids everywhere. The Muppet Ernie was eventually returned. Things were pretty quiet for awhile.

Until 1976 when we began an era of caring about immigration only in years ending in a six. That year Jimmy Carter wanted to give legitimate status, a nicer term for amnesty, to millions of, get ready -- you`ve heard this before -- undocumented workers.

Americans just won`t pick peanuts anymore.

The idea never got enough support to pass.

Then 10 years later President Ronald Reagan had plenty of support. He signed an act into law in 1986 that gave amnesty to about 2.7 million illegal aliens. But Reagan thought he was doing the right thing because, in exchange for the freebie, he demanded huge fines, up to $1 million, against the magnet that was drawing people here, the companies hiring illegal aliens.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Right. I think we all know how that idea turned out.

Ten years after that, 1996, Clinton came along and decided that it was time to finally get serious about the border. He bolstered the Border Patrol, installed sensors and even built a fence. Unfortunately, it was only 40 miles long.

I just don`t think anybody would drive 40 miles.

And that`s pretty much where we stand today, in 2006. Yes, another 10 years later, as immigration once again becomes a big story in the year that ends in a six. But don`t worry. In 10 years we`ll bring you part two of this series, and we`ll update you on how what we did in 2006 didn`t work either.

ANNOUNCER: You`ve just heard the history of illegal immigration, in a couple of minutes with Glenn Beck.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: Please don`t let my body continue to decay this rapidly, because man, 80 is going to be a nightmare. I`ll never sleep. I`ll always be peeing. That`s all I`ll do. Eighty-year-olds have just got to be just "Where`s Grandpa?" "In the bathroom."

I go to -- I go pee like 600 times a night, and I don`t know if anybody else does this, but I like have arguments in my head in bed. "I can fall back to sleep. I don`t have to go." Don`t you?

Alas, alas. I swear to you, another year, I`m -- I`m going to the doctor: "Put a catheter in me." Just willing to do it.

I can`t be the only person in America, and I`m destined to find the man. I am determined to find my -- can`t be the only person who has thought, "The hell with it, man. I`m just going to bring a pillow in the bathroom."

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: All right. One of the best things that happened here in Richmond, Virginia, this year was when hometown hero Elliott Yamin made the top three on American Idol.

I got to admit I wasn`t a fan at first, but he won me over with his heart and the attitude. And the story with his mom and everything else. It was great, and the effect that he had on Richmond has been incredible.

These guys were here right in the middle of Elliott madness. Was it nuts here?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes.

BECK: He trained them well. The competition was at an all-time high. It turned this town upside down. The town was behind him 110 percent.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

BECK (voice-over): The show, "American Idol". The voice, Richmond, Virginia`s Elliott Yamin.

MELISSA CHASE, D.J., Q94-FM: We got very lucky the fact that we had such a great Idol from our hometown. Elliott is the nicest guy you could possibly imagine. Extremely talented, and we`re very happy that he`s representing Richmond.

BECK: And the 27-year-old underdog with a big voice just kept knocking them dead.

RANDY JACKSON, JUDGE, FOX`S "AMERICAN IDOL": Very nice job. Very nice.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, baby!

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I think everybody kind of thought it was just kind of a passing novelty, but it really started to take on its own life every week that he survived, every subsequent round.

BECK: When Elliott Yamin became one of three finalists on "American Idol", all of Richmond came out to celebrate in an all-American way.

A high school dropout, Elliott once had worked as a dish washer at a local restaurant. Owner Richard Melito was amazed his former employee had become an overnight celebrity.

RICHARD MELITO, OWNER, MELITO`S: The surprise to us was that there was someone that had been working with us that was now an "American Idol".

BECK: Elliott`s family was no less stunned by his success.

LOUISE HOFFMAN, ELLIOTT`S AUNT: The Wednesday night was so intense. My husband has a defibrillator and a pacemaker, and he`s afraid it`s going to go off at any time. It is just nerve-wracking.

(MUSIC)

HOFFMAN: What brings chills to all of us, when they play his music. He really is good. I don`t think I`m being a prejudiced aunt. I really believe he`s good.

PAULA ABDUL, JUDGE, FOX`S "AMERICAN IDOL": I think this is the best vocal performance you`ve done this entire season.

SIMON COWELL, JUDGE, FOX`S "AMERICAN IDOL": That was the best performance so far.

BECK: It was a triumph. But for Elliott reaching for fame and fortune on "American Idol" was not the biggest challenge he had to face. He had juvenile diabetes and is almost completely deaf in one ear.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He`s probably had more important priorities in his life up to this point than just singing. Just being alive and hopefully being healthy probably means as much, if not more, to him than the notoriety that he`s received.

BECK: Ironically, as the auditions for the show neared, his father was fighting for her life with complication from gastric bypass surgery.

CLAUDETTE YAMIN, MOTHER OF ELLIOTT YAMIN: I`m hoping. I`m just hoping.

BECK: Elliott`s family was determined not to let him miss his big chance.

HOFFMAN: A lot of the family members talked him into proceeding ahead and just going through the audition. And when he got in, it was just overwhelming, because he had so much pressure on him, with his mother being in the intensive care. It was just phenomenal. And you could see his mother getting better and better and better as he was going along.

BECK: To compete on "American Idol", Elliott had to leave his day job at a pharmacy. But the citizens of Richmond got behind him. They made his quest possible.

HOFFMAN: All the big companies here have been coming out and helping. They`ve put up banners. They`ve made T-shirts. They have done everything that can be done.

BECK: Elliott`s fans started a major get out the vote campaign to help him win the ultimate title of "American Idol".

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I actually just got this phone today just to vote for Elliott and to see him do as well as he did tonight. He was just absolutely phenomenal, and, shoot, I just pressed the wrong button.

BECK: Elliott mania inspired "American Idol" viewing parties throughout Richmond. One of the most popular was hosted by the local radio station, Q94`s morning DJ`s, Darren and Melissa.

CHASE: The parties have just gotten bigger and bigger every Tuesday. We were over 500 people last week, even more so this week. So the support has been amazing.

BECK: And all the attention swirling around Elliott was great for business in Richmond.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, we definitely have noticed on Tuesday nights we`ve been getting more and more business down here. More and more people are asking for us to turn up the TVs, and, you know, recently we turned it into an official Elliott night, and, of course, that has really -- it`s really helped our business.

BECK: But this young performer was having an impact on his neighbors that went far beyond any economic gain.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Elliott`s appearance on "American Idol" has really pulled the community together, the businesses together, and the people together to really come out and support somebody that they really believe in and can be the next "American Idol".

BECK: In the end this working class kid from Richmond wouldn`t be the next "American Idol". But he would forever be a part of the history of his hometown.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

BECK: Joining us on the phone from Los Angeles, Elliott Yamin.

Elliott, I`ve got to tell you, I was actually rooting for somebody else the whole time until it was too late. I found out, I believe, who you are, I think America found out who you are, the night you were voted off. You are a real true American success story, and I think you`re phenomenal. But you`re the whole package. You`re the real deal.

YAMIN: Well, thank you very much. I appreciate that. Yes, you know, I`ve -- this has been a whirlwind experience, and, you know, it`s all been for the positive, and I`m definitely a better man for it.

BECK: You know, it`s interesting that you would say that, because I knew your were going to be voted off the night you were voted off. I played it back on television that night and said, "This is why he`s going to lose because when Simon, I believe, said to, `You need to believe it. You need to start believing that you`re there and you belong there, you responded with something like, `Yes, I do believe it. I`m starting to believe it`."

Do you believe it now that you can be or that you are a legitimate star?

YAMIN: I don`t really think of myself as one, because I still -- I`ll always be the same person. I`m definitely perceived in a different way than I ever had been before by -- you know, not by my peers, I guess -- well, maybe my by peers, also. But by strangers.

And I do believe -- I do believe that I have a legitimate shot at making a career out of it.

BECK: Right.

YAMIN: And, you know, I definitely feel like I`ve been validated.

BECK: Right.

YAMIN: And I have been getting a lot of love and support from well established artists in the business.

BECK: Have you been signed yet?

YAMIN: No, I have not yet. We have to take care of the tour first, and you know, that`s the next big thing for us. And then after the tour is over, we`ll, you know -- that`s when our 90-day contractual obligations are going to be ending. And you know, depending upon -- depending upon whether I get picked up by the Sheraton (ph) management company and record side of things, that`s still to be determined, but I feel like there is a deal out there for me.

BECK: There is a big deal waiting for you, and best of luck. Believe in yourself, and it`s going to happen. Elliott, thank you. Good luck.

YAMIN: Thank you very much. And I want to say thanks -- I want to say thanks, also, quickly to everybody back home. You know, the love and support back home has just been amazing, and I want to thank each and every one of you and each, and every one of you guys who`s watching the show. And I love all of you. I can`t wait to get back to Richmond.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECK: All right. Tonight we are bringing you the buzz from the Old Dominion State. I don`t even know what the hell that means. We`re in the state of Virginia. Here to tell us what everybody is talking about in Virginia is Mac Watson, host of the "Mac Watson Show".

MAC WATSON, RADIO TALK SHOW HOST: Right.

BECK: Which is clever.

WATSON: Absolutely.

BECK: Did you do that yourself?

WATSON: Yes.

BECK: On 1140, WRVA. Welcome to the program.

WATSON: Thank you for having me. Not to get too "Brokeback", but you look great in that color.

BECK: That`s really disturbing. I`m a little uncomfortable.

Mac, what is -- what is the story of the kid and the cookies?

WATSON: Oh, the cookie caper?

BECK: Yes.

WATSON: Yes, yes, yes. Well, you know, have you talked on your show many times, I`ve talked on my show, zero tolerance policy in schools. They don`t work. They never work.

BECK: Right.

WATSON: Remember the kid who was kicked out for having a butter knife in the back seat of his truck, I think, in Texas.

BECK: Right.

WATSON: You know, the girl who was caught with school -- in school with gum that was laced with caffeine.

So here in Henrico County, here in Richmond, a kid goes in to fill up a water jug because he`s on the baseball team. He and another kid. They discover cookies have spilled onto the floor, and so they take one, and they admit they take a cookie. The kid is suspended and kicked off the baseball team for the entire rest of the season.

Now, Fred Morton IV, who is the Henrico County school board of supervisors...

BECK: Anybody has a name that ends with IV, he must talk like this. He is a IV, you know.

WATSON: Well, thank God he uses it, because there are so many Fred Mortons running around Old Dominion state. But he says this -- if it were just eating a cookie, it wouldn`t be a suspension. So what is it? Nobody is talking. So what the mom is concerned...

BECK: They`re not protecting him.

WATSON: Yes, it is to a point. But Mom says the code of conduct states that under the, you know, zero tolerance policies, this is considered theft, and that will go on his record. So he will go into -- so theft of a cookie, theft of a laptop, the same thing? We don`t put...

BECK: Thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not steal, same thing.

WATSON: But when we jaywalk, we`re not immediately thrown in jail. I mean, there`s got to be some gradation.

BECK: Here`s the thing. We don`t know all of the information about the history of this kid. Here`s what irritates me.

WATSON: Well, I met his mom, and I have talked to his mom. He`s known as a class clown, and a little bit of a trouble maker, but on his record...

BECK: Well. A little bit of a trouble maker.

WATSON: You and I weren`t, I mean, come on. Come on.

BECK: What does that mean? I wasn`t -- you know what? I was in the principal`s office.

WATSON: Right.

BECK: A few times.

WATSON: Right.

BECK: But never for anything serious.

WATSON: Right.

BECK: OK. I don`t know. Was this kid ever in for serious things?

WATSON: That we know of, no. Nothing really serious.

BECK: The thing that bothers me about this is I disagree with you on -- there is no -- wait. There`s no difference between thou shalt not steal a cookie and thou shalt not steal...

WATSON: But does the punishment fit the crime?

BECK: The part that bothers me is, and I think it`s because I`m being a hard ass, because I`m sick of these parents coming out and saying, you know, "Well, it`s different for my kid."

WATSON: Right. And that`s what we suspected at first, but from what we know and we`ve talked to the mom a couple of times, theft is theft. So if you take a French fry off the counter, that`s still considered, like, stealing a laptop.

BECK: Yes, OK. I`m all right with that. Isn`t that -- doesn`t that teach everybody in school something that we don`t seem to be teaching kids anymore? If it ain`t yours, don`t touch it.

WATSON: Absolutely. But I don`t think you beat a child either verbally or physically for stealing a cookie.

BECK: Now it`s all of a sudden -- now it`s the "Da Vinci Code". Oh, oh.

WATSON: Not to use a diagram (ph) when I use metaphors.

BECK: OK.

WATSON: So basically -- basically, what the mom is afraid of is she can`t get any answers as to whether or not this is going to show up on the kid`s permanent record.

BECK: Right. Right.

WATSON: And if it is, it`s theft.

BECK: Come on.

WATSON: How is that something to affect his perfect record?

BECK: Back in a second.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: Two things that happened on tour. One, we, for some reason, are always late to the airport for the first day. And then, in some city, the limo breaks down. And it`s kind of a tradition. It`s nice.

But the good thing is last time our limo broke down, it was in Oklahoma City, and it was about 12 degrees, and snowy, and icy. And now, you know, it`s only 105 and 100 percent humidity. So one day we`ll break down in San Diego.

This is the backup engine. Not a lot of people have this, but this is -- you know, this is a good American car. You`ve got the backup engine here and then the other engine there, and then all cooling.

But you pop out that defibrillator, we get one in -- you know, we get one in. I think the closest place that really makes them is Korea, but we get one of them Korean defibrillators in here, and this thing is going to run like a top.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: All right. Welcome back to the Can Can Restaurant in Carytown section of historic Richmond. This is a beautiful part of town. This is the city where Patrick Henry said, "Give me liberty or give me death." During the civil war, it was the capital of the Confederacy.

And now, more than history draws tourists to the town. A local race track, host to, I think, two NASCAR cup races. Richmond is also the home of the only urban whitewater rafting in the country. And, of course, to me, you know, what the tour is really all about is food.

Richmond, home of Girl Scout cookies, Ramen noodles, and Oreo double- stuffed cookies. So it`s really all the food groups in the pyramid, right here in Richmond.

The man who leads this historic city has made some history himself. In 1990, he was the first African-American elected governor, not only of Virginia, but of any state in the country. Today, he is Richmond`s mayor, Doug Wilder.

Welcome to the program, sir.

MAYOR DOUGLAS WILDER, RICHMOND: Thanks, Glenn. Thank you so much.

BECK: You have the honor -- I mean, yes, the governor thing is cool, but you are the first politician that we have had on this program.

WILDER: Yes, I heard that. I`m flattered. I`m humbled by it, too.

BECK: We avoid them like the plague because I am so sick of politicians, because I don`t think anybody really says what they really mean anymore.

WILDER: Well, I watched your show, and I`ve heard you say that quite frequently.

BECK: Yes. You, however -- I was talking to the makeup ladies, and they said, "Oh, he`s the best," and I said, "Why?" And they said, "Because on education," they said, "I just heard him speak, and everybody is asking for more money for education," and you said, "The money is there. Let`s move on."

WILDER: Precisely. We spend more money in Richmond on education than the state average. We spend $71 million more per year than the state average, and still people cry. It doesn`t make any sense.

BECK: You used to be a Democrat.

WILDER: That`s right.

BECK: Now you`re an independent. You know, Arnold Schwarzenegger bothered me, as a conservative, because he said, "Oh, I was just on rowdy movie sets back in the day," but he never told me the pivot point. He never said, "This is why I`m different today. This event happened."

Why did you leave the Democratic Party? Why is it not just a shell game that you`re now an I instead of a D?

WILDER: Well, you know, there`s one word that I use to define politics, and it`s money. And I don`t care how you spend it or how you put it out there; you`re talking about money for housing, for education, for health, for transportation.

And the way you spend that money, how you handle that money, in my judgment, measures your accountability. And, in my judgment, I think many who said that I was conservative because I spent money conservatively. Well, I was raised that way. I spend money in the same way I spend it in my own home. And so I think that just the finances of it that, in my judgment...

(CROSSTALK)

BECK: Oh, it`s the same thing, though, the Republicans. I mean, I voted Republican. I`ve voted for Democrats. I`ve voted for Republicans. And I`ve got to tell you, the finances are so out of control. I look at the conservatives and say: What are you doing?

(CROSSTALK)

BECK: Tell me how you are a conservative.

WILDER: If you look in Washington today, if you have to determine who is Republican and who`s Democrat based on spending, you couldn`t tell the difference to save your life. And so there used to be lines of demarcation. Those lines are no longer there. They`re blurred.

BECK: See, I think -- because I`m traveling on this tour, and I talk about politics for about three minutes in a 90-minute show. But the one thing I do say is I think the parties have melded into one. It`s the same stuff.

WILDER: Well, you can use the word morphed.

(CROSSTALK)

WILDER: And I don`t disagree with you, and that`s the problem that the national Democrats are going to have trying to find a replacement or to take the presidency back from is George Bush.

BECK: Same thing on the other. Do you think that there is -- that we`re entering a time where you`ll see a third party actually -- a sane Ross Perot on one side or the other step up and be able to win a national election?

WILDER: I heard you say "sane." I looked at you...

BECK: He`s not sane.

(LAUGHTER)

WILDER: The difficulty there, again, is money. It`s very difficult for a third-party candidate to be a Ross Perot if you don`t have the independent wealth of a Ross Perot, and most people just don`t have it.

And so they have to rely on that party affiliation for their money and, consequently, that causes them to have to (INAUDIBLE)

BECK: You know, the problem with television is we never have enough time. We had a conversation off air about Bill Cosby that I want you to hear. We`re going to talk to the mayor tomorrow on the radio show. Don`t miss it.

Mayor, thank you very much.

WILDER: My pleasure.

BECK: Time now, let`s go "Straight to Hill," Erica Hill, the anchor of "PRIME NEWS" on Headline News.

Hello, Erica.

ERICA HILL, CNN HEADLINE NEWS ANCHOR: Hello, Glenn. We`re going to stick with your midlife crisis theme here for just a minute and word that it could actually happen a little bit later in the coming years for men. That`s because the male lifespan expectancy is increasing, according to the CDC.

Women have been outliving men for centuries now, in some cases by as much as eight years on average, but you men have now narrowed that gap to just five years, putting the average lifespan at 75. And the catch-up is apparently thanks to healthier lifestyles.

And get this one. An ingredient in beer could help fight prostate cancer. That`s according to a recent study from Oregon State University. But before you race to the fridge, keep in mind you`d actually have to drink more than 17 beers to get the benefit fit, and that could really hurt tomorrow morning.

The possible cancer-fighting compound is found in hops. Now, researchers say it basically acts like a signal switch which can turn a variety of cancers on and off. Scientists in Germany have developed a beer with 10 times the normal amount of this compound, and, while it`s being marketed as a healthy beer, still no evidence yet that the beer actually does help to prevent cancer.

There is some more promising news, though, for another popular brew, coffee this time. That morning cup of Joe may actually help cut your risk of cirrhosis of the liver caused by alcohol. That`s the word from researchers at Oakland`s Kaiser Permanente Medical Care Program.

There`s no word on just what it is in the coffee that could offer the benefit, but other studies suggest caffeine may play a role here. Researchers stress, though, this is not a call to drink more coffee, noting the best way to protect yourself from alcohol cirrhosis is to avoid heavy drinking.

And finally, real quickly, a new way to keep track of your kids: Just track your cell phone. Verizon launching the chaperone service. If your child leaves a predetermined area, you`ll get a text message. It will cost you an extra $10 to $20 a month, and your child does need to have a GPS- enabled phone for it to work. Parents can also track their kids whereabouts online, and you can get a similar service over at Sprint.

We`ll have more in a moment when Glenn returns.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECK: All right. I mean, I don`t think that`s necessary. That is one sexy dancer right there, I`m telling you that.

You know what I miss most about my weekly fix of "American Idol"? Really it`s not the show, as much as it is arguing over who`s going to get voted off each week with former "Idol" finalist Kimberly Caldwell. Oh, she thinks I`m hot.

The good news is we found another excuse to bring her back. Apparently, she`s now hosting something called "Reality Chat" for the TV Guide Channel, which, I mean, really, what, you get to predict who gets kicked off "So You Think You Can Dance," is that what that is?

KIMBERLY CALDWELL, HOST, "REALITY CHAT": Don`t say apparently. You know you`re a big fan and you watch all the time.

BECK: I know. Me, what are you talking about?

CALDWELL: Yes.

BECK: Would a guy wear this sweater watch that show? I don`t think so.

CALDWELL: No, I would have told you not to wear the sweater, period, but if you`re going to wear the sweater, watch "Reality Chat." It`s on the TV Guide Channel on Sundays.

BECK: OK.

CALDWELL: And we, you know, just focus on all the reality shows that are going on. We have all the guests from the reality shows on the show, and we chat with them, and, yes, talk about who`s going to get voted off or what it was like on the show.

BECK: So the "So You Can Dance" thing, I mean, it just hacks me off.

CALDWELL: Have you been watching it? Have you been watching?

BECK: Oh, no, no, not at all.

CALDWELL: I`m a big fan.

BECK: You know why? Because dancing just hacks all guys off. Women always say, "Oh, come on, you got to dance." And you`re like, "I can`t dance." "Oh, yes, you can." And then you dance, and then they make fun of you. That`s what it`s all about.

CALDWELL: You know what you should learn to do? You should learn to two-step. It`s so easy. It`s just one, two, step, one, two, step. It`s really easy, and that`s what guys do in Texas that can`t dance.

BECK: Yes, I know. My wife has tried to teach me, and I can`t count to two. I really can`t. She tried to teach me the two-step. She does it; I can`t. Nicole Richie and...

CALDWELL: I actually really enjoy "So You Think You Can Dance." There was a girl on there in the beginning auditions, like, you know, on "Idol," where there`s like the bad auditions and the good ones, you know, at the end? They have the top 20 now, but in the bad auditions there was a girl that, like, wrote graffiti all over her that would, like, run around crazy. There was a girl that puked. There was a guy, a break dancer that forgot to put his hands down that smashed his face into the floor.

(CROSSTALK)

BECK: What?

CALDWELL: I mean, it`s good stuff. I`m telling you.

BECK: Why do I want to see somebody puke on national television...

CALDWELL: It`s good, I`m telling you.

BECK: ... when you can watch this lovely face?

(CROSSTALK)

CALDWELL: And the sweater.

BECK: While we`re here -- I mean, while we`re here on this topic of puking and, quite honestly, skanks, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie...

CALDWELL: Don`t call me a skank.

BECK: Not you, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie. I mean, come on. How do you disagree that it`s skank city? That`s what it is.

CALDWELL: Well, this is the thing.

BECK: It`s Skank Town, USA.

CALDWELL: The rivalry is definitely apparent. It`s very in-your-face on the new "Simple Life: `Til Death Do Us Part." And, you know, Nicole does one day, and then Paris does the other day.

And Paris, which is so funny, is actually coming across as, like, the sweet, kind, considerate guest at these people`s home, and then Nicole is coming off as, like, the conniving, scandalous, crazy, party girl. So I was actually a little surprised that...

(CROSSTALK)

CALDWELL: ... I would have guessed it would have been the other way, but, yes, there are some...

BECK: No.

CALDWELL: ... scandalous stuff going on.

BECK: No, I wouldn`t have guessed that at all.

CALDWELL: And what`s so funny is this show, Nicole is even skinnier than Paris, like, skinny-skinny. They`re both so skinny.

BECK: Let me tell you something, Kim, she is frightening looking right now.

CALDWELL: They`re so thin.

BECK: Kim, I thank you very much. We`ll talk to you again soon.

CALDWELL: Bye, Glenn. Have fun in Richmond.

ANNOUNCER: This is GLENN BECK.

BECK: I remember, when I was growing up, one of the big shows on television was a uniquely American kind of TV show. It ruled television. It was the Western. It was "Gunsmoke."

This weekend, the Western is back. Academy Award-winner Robert Duvall and Oscar nominee Thomas Haden Church team up now in a movie called "Broken Trail." It`s about a couple of cowboys -- it doesn`t end that way -- on a horse drive. When their paths cross a slave trader about to sell five Chinese women into prostitution, and they do the decent thing. You want action? You got action.

Joining me now from New York, Thomas Haden Church. Thomas, last time we saw you, you were in "Sideways" chasing wine and women. Now it`s horses. Which is better? Which do you prefer?

THOMAS HADEN CHURCH, ACTOR: I can still hear gunfire in the background, Glenn.

BECK: Really?

CHURCH: Glenn, are you at the Olive Garden in Fallujah, Glenn?

BECK: Yes, are you there? Thomas, are you there?

CHURCH: I am.

BECK: The Western, what rating is this movie? Do you know -- what did it get as a rating?

CHURCH: Well, it`s a miniseries for American Movie Classics, for AMC, so, you know, it probably would be a PG-13 if I had to guess, because there`s a little bit of violence, there`s a little bit of bad language, and there`s one areola. Not a whole nipple, Glenn, one areola.

BECK: Really? Good. I`m glad to hear it. I`m glad to hear it.

You actually started -- you started your career in a Western. Weren`t you in "Tombstone"? Wasn`t that the first movie we saw you in?

CHURCH: That is correct, sir. I was cast in the movie. I was on the -- I was working on a television series "Wings" in the early `90s, and it was the first movie that I was cast in.

BECK: Now, when you were on "Wings," I mean, you kind of -- you played the goofy mechanic, if I remember right.

CHURCH: Correct.

BECK: And, you know, whenever you`re playing an iconic role kind of like that, I mean, you can be typecast, like Kramer, and you never, ever get out of that. You went on to then be nominated for an Oscar. That doesn`t happen very often.

CHURCH: Well, there was a considerable span of years between my leaving...

BECK: Yes, Bob Denver could have -- Bob Denver could have gone to the movies at any time, and it wouldn`t have happened for him.

CHURCH: No, I actually -- when I left "Wings," I chose -- I quit the show when my contract was up, but before the series had ended, and I chose to find something that was kind of diametrically opposed that character. And I went out to star in a series for FOX for a couple of years called "Ned and Stacey," which it was about as opposite in the pantheon of characters as you could get, and I think that it really -- it served me well with the industry.

The show was never a ratings hit, but in the industry people saw me in a much -- you know, in a very diverse character.

BECK: You kind of live a normal life, don`t you? You`re from Texas. You don`t live in Hollywood, right?

CHURCH: I am. No.

BECK: And, yes, and you have a ranch out there?

CHURCH: And I did -- go ahead. No, go ahead, Glenn.

BECK: What is your life like? You have a ranch out there? What is your life like?

CHURCH: Well, I want to clarify the prior point. I did live in L.A. for about 12 years, but as soon as I could afford it, you know, I got a house in Texas and I would travel back and forth as much as I could. And then I bought a ranch in the late `90s.

And in 2001, I just decided I really didn`t need to live in L.A. I could commute. Because more often than not -- and you probably know this - - the chance you`re going to actually shoot a movie in L.A. are not even 50-50. You could shoot anywhere in the U.S. and Canada, overseas.

So I sold my house in L.A., and I moved to Texas full-time. And my life in Texas is very normal. I -- go ahead.

BECK: I am traveling the -- I`m traveling the country, doing what I call the midlife crisis tour, and it is amazing, when you get out of New York or -- I`m sure it`s the same in Los Angeles -- you get into the middle of the country or you get out of just those two cities, and everything becomes more real. It`s just different, you know what I mean?

CHURCH: Oh, absolutely.

BECK: In a real positive way.

CHURCH: Well, you know, the thing -- and I`ve been in New York for about a week, and I hadn`t been around New York since we were promoting "Sideways" at the beginning of last year.

And, you know, I mean, I love certain things about New York, but there`s such a crush of civilization that clearly people -- they accustom themselves to and they just adapt to the environment, whereas in Texas I`ll see more people on a city block in New York than I would see in probably a month if I sat at the gate of my ranch.

And I`m not kidding. I`m not exaggerating.

BECK: I know. I know it`s...

CHURCH: You never see anybody where I live.

BECK: Yes, it`s really nuts.

CHURCH: And I like that.

BECK: And we`re going to have to cut you loose here, but we`re going to see you on AMC, and then you are playing the chief villain in "Spiderman" coming up. Thank you very much, Thomas Haden Church, you...

CHURCH: Good luck with your midlife thing.

BECK: Thank you.

ANNOUNCER: Tomorrow on GLENN BECK...

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECK: And finally tonight, if you are a curmudgeon in training like me, you probably have a kid that has a cell phone that`s really, really small, really colorful, and beeps all the time. It probably can take pictures, shoots video, performs laser surgery.

I`m not really sure I have a phone. You know what my phone does? It makes and receives telephone calls; that`s what it does. At least I think that`s what it does.

I mean, I get a text message once in a while, but I don`t know how to read them. Occasionally, I`ll stumble across a text message, you know, and it says stuff like, "Honey, please pick me up. The car broke down." That one actually was from a woman I think I dated in high school, God rest her soul.

Well, anyway, if you think technology is reversing on us and eventually leading us to baby-harvesting farms -- oh, yes, it`s happening - - we`ve seen the first step in that process. It`s a Dutch security company who`s trying to get teenagers to stop loitering in front of the store without affecting adult customers. They created what they call a mosquito. It`s brilliant.

They found out that, as people get older, they get something called aging ear and they lose the ability to hear certain high-pitch sounds. So this company finds a frequency that irritates the crap out of teenagers, but adults can`t hear it. Then the mosquito blares it out in front of the store.

How do I get a portable one of these things to bring to a movie theater on Friday night? I mean, really.

But these evil teens have once again found a way to turn the technology around on us. Now they`re downloading a ringtone off the Internet that uses this frequency so I can`t hear it when they receive a text message. Oh, no, and neither can their teachers, the evil bastards.

So let`s do a test. Are you old? Did you hear it? If not, you`re old enough to join me on my midlife crisis tour.

But forget the beeps. What I`d like to see is, can we make their conversations inaudible? I believe that cell phones only really cause brain cancer when you`re standing near a teenager who`s talking, you know, on a cell phone for, like, six hours, and at that point I`m praying for a tumor.

Look, remember that messaging, kids, during class takes away from your time for learning, learning about, you know, how George Bush is really Hitler and there is no God, and a brain that`s thoroughly washed is a terrible thing to waste.

That`s all the time we have now. You can e-mail me at GlennBeck@CNN.com. We`ll see you tomorrow, you sick freak.

END