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Glenn Beck

Richard Simmons: Self-Esteem Key to Weight Loss; Physical Therapist Discusses Helping Kids with Cerebral Palsy

Aired June 23, 2006 - 19:00   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GLENN BECK, HOST: You know, the thing that makes it all worthwhile, really, traveling on the road, being away from the family for so long, is just that one-on-one interaction with the fans.

You need tickets? $500. I got tickets for $500, three of them together. $475.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: From the heartland, we`re here at the Spoons Bistros and Mitchell`s Books in Fort Wayne, Indiana, where I spent two weeks eating my way across the country. They won`t stop with the sandwiches! I`ve had the unique opportunity to eat chalupas in Richmond, chicken a la king in Pittsburgh, and I`ll grown three pants sizes, as the crew here that has made this whole thing possible will tell you and testify to.

So while I go and see if there`s a Rochester`s Big and Pasty in Fort Wayne, why don`t you catch some of the memorable moments from my road show and my journey from fat pig to fatter pig.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

BECK: I mean, I`m not exactly Dom DeLuise, but when I can get so big I can`t fit into my relax fit fat pants, which I have, I get depressed. And then what happens? I start eating more of these, and then it`s just a self-fulfilling shame-spiraled covered in just delicious hot fudge. It is just a horrible thing.

Richard Simmons is here. He`s one of the world`s preeminent nutrition and exercise gurus.

Richard, you actually make a couple of hundred phone calls a day, calling people and just trying to talk them away from the Twinkies. How do I get on your speed dial, my friend?

RICHARD SIMMONS, FITNESS EXPERT: Well, thank you for having me on your show today.

You know, I`ve been doing this now for over 30 years. We still have a population of people who are not willing to walk the line, not willing to cut their portions, not willing to do the exercise, and so I call them, you know. I`ve been doing this for -- since "General Hospital" days when I was on with Luke and Laura. You were watching "General Hospital" back then?

BECK: Oh, yes. Sure. I wasn`t. I wasn`t.

SIMMONS: When I figured out, Glenn, after all these years, you know, life is like a staircase, and your self-worth is up here. This is what`s missing in America today. We don`t know our own worth, and we`re not taking care of ourselves.

We live in the past. We don`t make time for exercise. We`re not patient. We`re not forgiving. And that`s why there`s so many overweight children, teens, and obese people in America today, adults, and so I travel -- like you, I travel 250 days a year. I teach classes. I act silly. I`m their court jester, and some people get it, and some people don`t, so I work harder to get the people who don`t get it to get it.

BECK: I mean, it`s really amazing, what kind of self-hating egomaniacs we are in this country. We are so obsessed with good looks and, you know, being in shape, et cetera, et cetera. Yet, most of us are fat, and you`re at that -- I mean, I got to tell you, it rips my heart out. When I`m making jokes about me and I can see members of the audience that are uncomfortable, because they know -- it`s almost, Richard, like they are afraid to laugh because they`re afraid that somebody is going to look at them and say, "What are you laughing at, fatso? You`re fat." You know what I mean?

SIMMONS: I was 200 pounds in the eighth grade. I was 268 pounds when I graduated high school. It`s very hard to be the brunt of all these jokes. Even though it`s funny, still, they go home and say, "I`m not worth it. I don`t deserve to lose weight. You know, I don`t love myself enough." And you know, that`s the problem.

And now look at our kids. I have been traveling all around the country doing lectures about getting fitness back into schools. Look at our kids. Type two diabetes, blood pressure problems, anti-depressants. These are children, Glenn. They`re children.

BECK: So how do you break the cycle? Because I know it`s true. Honestly, Richard, I don`t know if I`m the only guy that thinks this, but when I was 50 pounds heavier, I was -- there was a point where I`m, like, I mean, why not go for the record? Let`s see if I can put, you know, 300 pounds on. How fat could I get?

SIMMONS: I know. I know.

BECK: You get to that point. How do you break the cycle? I did it through being scared witless of doing national television. If you don`t have your own TV show, how do you do it?

SIMMONS: Is that the reason -- is that the reason that you actually lost 50 pounds in the first place, to be on television?

BECK: No, no, no, no.

SIMMONS: Tell me that`s not true. The thing that...

BECK: No, it`s not true. I lost it because I was getting unhealthy, et cetera, et cetera.

SIMMONS: Things we don`t think about. We don`t think about our health. We don`t think about our health.

BECK: What keeps me from eating this -- the thing that keeps me eating this is the fact that I have to look at myself in a monitor all the time. I`m like, oh, my gosh, look how I look.

SIMMONS: That`s not the only reason do you it. Glenn, that`s the only reason why you take care of yourself. You have a family. You have people that love you. You can count your blessings. All the wonderful things that have happened in your life. And you want to be here longer, and you want to be here stronger, and that`s why the truth is you`re taking care of yourself.

BECK: No. Yes. Right. No, you are exactly right. That is the reason why I started to lose the weight. I mean, what helps me keep it off is looking at myself on television, and I apologize, America. I really, really do.

Richard, you -- you are such a great guy that you are going around and you are helping people. You are working one-on-one with children, and I just think it`s a tremendous thing. I know you`ve toned it down a little bit. I don`t know if America can notice it. But you`ve toned it down a little bit, and you are really doing some amazing work. And I thank you, sir, for being on the program.

SIMMONS: Thank you so much. Big success, and please give my love to your daughter, Mary.

BECK: Thank you very much, Richard.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: Hey, fatty, is that you? No, I mean, literally, is that you on the screen? If so, good God, are you fat, and I don`t mean the kind with a "ph." I mean the kind like this where they put you on TV with your face not shown. You know, for legal reasons. Man, you are so fat.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: How fat are you?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: How fat are you?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: How fat are you?

ANNOUNCER: Well, you`re so fat that when you -- sorry. Not appropriate. I was saying, if you are one of these people, listen up, because we`re about to whip you into shape. It`s time for the Glenn Beck diet revolution. It`s time to be scared skinny.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: All right. All right. This is exactly the kind of thing that Richard Simmons would not approve of, but I`ve got to tell you, I have literally tried everything, every diet known to man. I can`t keep it off. I have kept my weight off because of this stupid TV show. It`s a miracle drug.

You`re not going to find this in any bookstore, any infomercial. The only place you`re going to hear about it is right here. I invented it. It`s something I like to call scared skinny.

Here`s how it works. First, you send me a picture of yourself wearing something, shall we say, really revealing, in a humiliating position. You know, sort of like this. I mean, do we have a picture? Oh.

Now, I promise -- see? I mean, is that horrible? I promise I will keep the pictures under lock and key unless, of course, you don`t hit your target weight. Then the fun begins. If you fail, you don`t hit your target weight, I show your picture on national television just like that. And trust me, your face will not be blurred out. That`s just for starters.

Then I`m going to e-mail the pictures to my list of over 100,000 subscribers on my daily e-mail. Then I put them on my web site. Then I publish them in my national magazine "Fusion."

There is nothing like the fear of complete public embarrassment to help you drop a few pounds. I`m a helper.

So if you`re up for this, you want to really lose a few pounds, you go to GlennBeck.com and sign up. But, trust me, America, this is a binding contract. If you don`t hit your goal, well, let`s just say you better find a job that lets you work from home.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: So what is it I know? Here in my midlife crisis, what is it I really, really know? Not very much. In fact, the one thing I know for absolute surety, I learned from my daughter Mary.

My daughter Mary, when she was born, she had 13 strokes. They said she would never feed herself; she`d never walk; she`d never talk; she`d never understand speech or be able to speak back. She`s a miracle! Through the efforts of her hero of a mother, she is just remarkable. She`s going to school, to college. What a blessing.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: You know, in Hollywood, people do some charity things and then they like to tell the whole world about it. In the rest of the country, there are people from all walks of life who help others out in incredible ways and never, ever get any attention for it.

Mimi Baker is a physical therapist here in Pittsburgh. She specializes in children with disabilities, something that`s very close to my heart. As I just told you, my daughter was born with cerebral palsy, and she has been the biggest inspiration in my life. That`s why I think someone like Mimi Baker is a real American hero.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

BECK (voice-over): For many people, when they look at kids with cerebral palsy, they can`t help but feel sorry for them. But look at these kids, through the eyes of their physical therapist, Mimi Baker, and instead, what you`ll see is potential.

MIMI BAKER, PHYSICAL THERAPIST: Every accomplishment, whether it`s just being able to sit up for the first time for just a few minutes, is huge. And that`s something that most families don`t have to celebrate.

BECK: For 24 years, Mimi`s been helping the hundreds of children in the Pittsburgh area born with cerebral palsy.

KIM BROZOVICH, MIMI`S FORMER PATIENT: Many, many years ago I was a patient at the Children`s Institute, and Mimi Baker was my therapist. I was her first patient.

BAKER: You can`t help but feel emotion when they have some success. And you just feel so good about it. Or when you know they`re just not going to be able to do that.

BECK: In Kim`s case, what Mimi refused to do was take no for an answer.

BROZOVICH: She actually spoke to the surgeon while I was on the operating table. He was going to make a cut back -- like right back here, my heel cord tendon release. And he said to Mimi, "Well, if -- you know, I`m going to cut it because she`s just going to be wheelchair-bound anyway."

She said, "Don`t you dare." She said, "Don`t cut that muscle. She`s going to walk."

BECK: Nothing could have prepared Kim and her family for the journey that awaited them. In fact, nothing could prepare any family.

Chrissy is the mother of a child born with C.P.

CHRISSY BARTOLOWITZ, SON HELPED BY MIMI: We just knew something wasn`t right. So it was -- it was scary. It was really a scary thing.

BAKER: If you look at an example of a child with cerebral palsy, and they discover early on it will be with their child for life, they need time to grieve.

BECK: A sentiment Mimi now better understands.

Two years ago, Skyann (ph) was Mimi`s patient. Now Mimi is her mother.

BAKER: Right now I am a working parent. I am taking care of a child with special needs. It certainly has helped me be empathetic to what these families need.

She has touched my life like no one else has. And it`s a lot of work. But you just do it.

BECK: But it`s more than just hard work. Mimi has succeeded, in no large part, due to the kind of patience so rarely found in this day and age. And her patients will tell you, she`s touched their lives in ways small and large that will never be forgotten.

Not only did Mimi make it possible for Kim to take her first steps, but Kim was able to walk down the aisle in her sister`s wedding.

BROZOVICH: I had a strong faith. Jesus and prayer, my parents and Mimi telling me, "Hey, you can do it."

BECK: Kim is now 28. She has a college degree. And she`s just begun a new career, working with special needs kids. And guess who her role model is?

BROZOVICH: That was the thing about Mimi. She made it fun. It wasn`t like -- I mean, it was hard work and I was sweating and stuff. And sometimes I would, "Ow, that hurts," but she just -- she just made it fun.

BAKER: When families say they liked having me as a therapist, I just always tried to see their child as a child and look at what they can do and not what they can`t do.

(singing) Twinkle, twinkle, little star.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

BECK: Mimi Baker, Kim Brozovich are with me now. Hi, guys.

BAKER: Hi, Glenn.

BROZOVICH: Hi.

BECK: Angels come to mind. Angels come to mind. You, Mimi, give people hope, as you do. As you do, as well.

BROZOVICH: Thanks, Glenn.

BECK: My daughter is going to college, and as I said earlier, you know, you don`t know, as a parent, and it takes a miracle worker like you to let parents who are trying to navigate these waters know that it`s just a different struggle, you know? We all have different things that we go through, with all of our kids. It`s just -- it`s just a different struggle. Isn`t it?

BAKER: It is -- it is a different struggle. All parents need help. But having a child with a disability is overwhelming. It`s heartbreaking.

BECK: You know, it`s not -- it`s not as heartbreaking -- yes, it is.

BAKER: Initially.

BECK: It is. It is.

BAKER: Initially.

BECK: But it`s also, it`s the -- you just don`t know what the future holds.

BAKER: Right, there`s a lot of unknowns.

BECK: You just don`t -- yes. And you, you start to think, well, gee, will they be able to do what I did? And I`ve come to a place where I`m not sure that my normal experience is the right experience, you know what I mean?

BAKER: Right.

BECK: Or the better of the two.

BAKER: Right.

BECK: So what -- Kim, how important is the attitude of "I`m just not going to let anybody stop me"?

BROZOVICH: Well, it`s the most important thing, Glenn. I think that, you know, you have a positive attitude and you say, well I can do it, then if you have it in your mind, most likely you`ll do it.

BECK: You`re very religious.

BROZOVICH: Yes, I am.

BECK: How important is that?

BROZOVICH: Well, it`s -- it`s right up there with my physical therapy. It`s very important.

BECK: Right.

BROZOVICH: Yes.

BECK: Is that -- has that gotten you through your toughest days? What are your toughest battles?

BROZOVICH: Well, probably right before I started walking, Mimi and I did physical therapy five days a week, because I started out at the Children`s Institute for school, as well.

BECK: How old were you?

BROZOVICH: When I started physical therapy, I was 5. So kindergarten age, up through second grade. So -- and we worked three hours a day. So it was a lot of work.

BECK: Your parents are, I imagine, amazing people.

BROZOVICH: They`re the best. I have the best parents in the world.

BECK: My wife, who was just relentless. She was a full time job just making sure she was at the therapist all the time and just relentless on making sure that my daughter received the best care and was constantly working. I mean, it`s really a combination of the right therapist, the attitude of the child, and the parents just making sure that they`re the -- that they`re the strongest advocate, isn`t it, Mimi?

BAKER: And the parent, they`re thrown into this role of being -- we`re all advocates for our children, but they are thrown into the role of finding every resource that they can find to try to help the child. And they just love -- they`re so passionate about their love for their child that they do what they need to do.

BECK: What`s the one thing that you`ve really learned through all of this? What -- at the end of your days when you close your eyes, what is it that you will remember most?

BAKER: I think I learned by watching my father over my lifetime that you make a living by what you get, but you make a life by what you give. And that, I try to help, but the bottom line is, they`re doing the work. They`re making the efforts. The families are the ones that are so invested and passionate about helping their child that I`m just there to consult and help and guide. And they, they do it.

BECK: I`ve only got a couple seconds left. Message to parents?

BAKER: Accept and respect the differences, but love the child.

BECK: Mimi, Kim, you`ve been the best. Thank you so much.

BROZOVICH: Thanks for having us.

BECK: God bless you both.

BAKER: Thank you, Glenn.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

ANNOUNCER: Coming up on GLENN BECK.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Our carbonated beverage is not soda, it`s pop. Pop.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Soda pop?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No, no, no, no, around Pittsburgh, that`s putting on airs calling it soda pop.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

BECK: All right. Let`s get the buzz now from America`s wettest city, 950 KPRC in Houston, and the morning host, my best friend, Pat Gray.

Hello, Pat.

PAT GRAY, RADIO TALK SHOW HOST: Hey, Glenn. You`re a great American.

BECK: You -- thank you. You haven`t committed to the beard, have you? We had a lot...

GRAY: Commitment? This is my commitment, OK? I`m not going for a ZZ Top look. I`m not going for a Moses feel, OK? I work meticulously to keep it this length. OK? This is my commitment.

BECK: Well, we`re getting a lot of mail.

GRAY: Are you? Yes, me too.

BECK: We`re getting a lot of mail. We`re getting a lot of mail from people who would like you to be less....

GRAY: More committed?

BECK: Yes.

GRAY: I`ll think about it.

BECK: OK.

GRAY: Maybe I`ll go Grizzly Adams.

BECK: So, Pat, tell us -- tell me the latest on Starbucks.

GRAY: Well, Starbucks is under fire from the Center for Science in the Public Interest. You know, first it was soda drinks. Then it was fast food. We can`t have hamburgers. We can`t have French fries.

Now I love these -- the one good thing about this story is it`s liberal organizations eating their own, which is kind of great to see. A little cannibalism among the liberals.

BECK: Wait a minute.

GRAY: But the last...

BECK: You`re right. I never even thought of that. I was going to say McDonald`s, fast food, but it is. It`s Starbucks.

GRAY: Yes. Starbucks and the Center for Science in the Public Interest, both liberal organizations, so it`s great to see...

BECK: Hold it. Hold it. Wait a minute. Let`s just all take a moment and bask into that for just a second.

GRAY: All right. Ah.

BECK: Ah. It`s nice, isn`t it? So anyway.

GRAY: So anyway, unless I missed something and Starbucks has centers in elementary schools and nursery schools, aren`t they mostly consenting adults going in and buying these double mocha choco-lattes?

BECK: Actually -- actually, when I was in Seattle the last time, I went and picked up my niece at high school, and there was a Starbucks in the high school.

GRAY: Really?

BECK: So I mean, it is happening in schools. Yes. It is happening in schools.

GRAY: I mean, high school, you know, by then can you tell your kids to make informed decisions. You can help them. You can -- I mean, you know, they`re not -- I mean, mostly isn`t it adults who are going to these places and making these choices? I mean, don`t we know that there`s not, let`s say, liquefied bean curd in Starbucks` environmentally-friendly little cups?

BECK: Are -- are you actually trying to make a case for personal responsibility?

GRAY: I know. It`s outrageous, and that`s the kind of freak I am, Glenn. But I`m trying to say -- I`m trying to say let us make a decision. Just one. Just one. Even if that`s buying coffee. And you know I`m not even a big fan. I don`t even drink coffee.

BECK: Right.

GRAY: But can we please just make our own decisions as adults here?

BECK: Yes. Well, I mean, it`s worked so well with McDonald`s. I got to tell you, I don`t even go to McDonald`s anymore.

GRAY: I`ve never even seen one.

BECK: Except around lunch or if I`m hungry at dinner or mostly in the morning, but I swear them off other than those times of the day. Yes.

GRAY: Right, right. And you and I, I think, are big enough boys, literally and figuratively, to decide, you know, OK, yes, we`re going on to be on TV tonight. I`m still stuffing this burger in my mouth, right?

BECK: Right, I know. It`s sad and pathetic, isn`t it?

GRAY: It is. It is.

BECK: But I think that`s exactly where America is or should be. Personal responsibility.

Pat from Houston, stay safe, stay wet, or dry, or whichever you prefer.

GRAY: I don`t have much choice.

BECK: I don`t know, webbed fingers, I think, from Pat. Thanks a lot, Pat. We`ll talk to you soon. Bye.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: I`m here in the dressing room, and, you know, a lot of stars, when they travel around and stuff, they ask for things like, you know, no black jellybeans or whatever. And in my rider, I mean, we just keep it to the simple stuff.

I do like to have a Steinway, you know, wherever I`m at. And it`s, you know, great. I don`t play a lick of music, but it`s just, I mean, it`s cool to be able to ask for one and they deliver it.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: From Spoons Cafe and Mitchell Books in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Looking back over the last couple of weeks, it`s been a little humbling to realize how many thousands of people have come out to share the misery that was my midlife crisis tour.

I`ve eaten my way across eight states in two weeks and, at every stop, we met some amazing people. And I want to acknowledge a few of them, beginning with a man who has made history as the nation`s first African- American governor. His name is Douglas Wilder. Today, he`s the mayor of Richmond, Virginia.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

BECK: Welcome to the program, sir.

MAYOR DOUGLAS WILDER, RICHMOND: Thanks, Glenn. Thank you so much.

BECK: You have the honor -- I mean, yes, the governor thing is cool, but you are the first politician that we have had on this program.

WILDER: Yes, I heard that. I`m flattered. I`m humbled by it, too.

BECK: We avoid them like the plague because I am so sick of politicians, because I don`t think anybody really says what they really mean anymore.

WILDER: Well, I watched your show, and I`ve heard you say that quite frequently.

BECK: Yes. You, however -- I was talking to the makeup ladies, and they said, "Oh, he`s the best," and I said, "Why?" And they said, "Because on education," they said, "I just heard him speak, and everybody is asking for more money for education," and you said, "The money is there. Let`s move on."

WILDER: Precisely. We spend more money in Richmond on education than the state average. We spend $71 million more per year than the state average, and still people cry. It doesn`t make any sense.

BECK: You used to be a Democrat.

WILDER: That`s right.

BECK: Now you`re an independent. You know, Arnold Schwarzenegger bothered me, as a conservative, because he said, "Oh, I was just on rowdy movie sets back in the day," but he never told me the pivot point. He never said, "This is why I`m different today. This event happened."

Why did you leave the Democratic Party? Why is it not just a shell game that you`re now an I instead of a D?

WILDER: Well, you know, there`s one word that I use to define politics, and it`s money. And I don`t care how you spend it or how you put it out there; you`re talking about money for housing, for education, for health, for transportation.

And the way you spend that money, how you handle that money, in my judgment, measures your accountability. And, in my judgment, I think many who said that I was conservative because I spent money conservatively. Well, I was raised that way. I spend money in the same way I spend it in my own home. And so I think that just the finances of it that, in my judgment...

(CROSSTALK)

BECK: Oh, it`s the same thing, though, the Republicans. I mean, I voted Republican. I`ve voted for Democrats. I`ve voted for Republicans. And I`ve got to tell you, the finances are so out of control. I look at the conservatives and say: What are you doing?

(CROSSTALK)

BECK: Tell me how you are a conservative.

WILDER: If you look in Washington today, if you have to determine who is Republican and who`s Democrat based on spending, you couldn`t tell the difference to save your life. And so there used to be lines of demarcation. Those lines are no longer there. They`re blurred.

BECK: See, I think -- because I`m traveling on this tour, and I talk about politics for about three minutes in a 90-minute show. But the one thing I do say is I think the parties have melded into one. It`s the same stuff.

WILDER: Well, you can use the word morphed.

(CROSSTALK)

WILDER: And I don`t disagree with you, and that`s the problem that the national Democrats are going to have trying to find a replacement or to take the presidency back from is George Bush.

BECK: Same thing on the other. Do you think that there is -- that we`re entering a time where you`ll see a third party actually -- a sane Ross Perot on one side or the other step up and be able to win a national election?

WILDER: I heard you say "sane." I looked at you...

BECK: He`s not sane.

(LAUGHTER)

WILDER: The difficulty there, again, is money. It`s very difficult for a third-party candidate to be a Ross Perot if you don`t have the independent wealth of a Ross Perot, and most people just don`t have it.

And so they have to rely on that party affiliation for their money and, consequently, that causes them to have to (INAUDIBLE)

Mayor, thank you very much.

WILDER: My pleasure.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

BECK: All right. To sports fans, Pittsburgh means the Steelers, the Pirates, the Penguins. Me, it`s the frickin` food, man. It is the birthplace of the Clark Bar, the ever-loved Klondike Bar, Heinz ketchup, and, if you visit Pittsburgh -- yes, I know, I didn`t -- I loved the ketchup until that woman got involved.

(LAUGHTER)

And if you visit here, there is something different about the way people speak. It`s its own dialect. It`s Pittsburghese. Dorothea Coelho, we sent her out to give -- how do you say "you guys" here, "yunz" -- to give yunz a personal tour of the city.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

DOROTHEA COELHO, COMEDIENNE: We`re at a store in Pittsburgh called "Who Knew," right behind me. And this is one of the owners, Jeff. Since you`re retro, and you`re a Pittsburgh native, we wanted to talk about Pittsburghese.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yunz guys came to the right place.

COELHO: Oh, goodie.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Some of the words I want you to practice are Iron City Beer.

COELHO: Iron City -- Iron.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Iron. Iron.

COELHO: I am here at Iron City Brewing Company, which I`m very excited about, and I`m with the assistant brewmaster Dave Markle.

DAVE MARKLE, BREWMASTER: One of the main important things about beer is keeping everything clean so you don`t get any kind of contaminations.

COELHO: I think I lost my watch in there. Oh, are we rolling? And when no one`s looking, do you ever go in swimming in there, maybe a little skinny dipping with the girlfriend?

MARKLE: Oh, no. And then we`ll add the yeast, which ferments the beer.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I actually put the yeast into the beer, which gives it the alcohol.

MARKLE: It takes over a month, from the time we brew it to the time we can put it into a package.

COELHO: So you`re kind of like God turning water into wine?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, I wouldn`t say exactly God, but maybe, you know, one of the apostles.

COELHO: All right. They`ve made me a bottler for five minutes, and they`ve taught me basically how to do it. The beer`s been in the bottle for like a minute, right?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: About 30 seconds right now.

COELHO: It looks delicious.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It can`t get any fresher. The best part about it, it`s 33 degrees right now in the bottle.

COELHO: Oh, really? Oh, here we go, bottoms up!

We`re at Wholey`s Fish Market, one of the most famous places in Pittsburgh for the fish. And I`m here with Scott. Scott, what do you do here?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I`m the store manager.

COELHO: So, Scott, we`re in line right now to get a -- what do you call it, a whaler?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: A whaler, a 16-ounce whiting sandwich.

COELHO: So is this all your four food groups?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We do have a fruit bowl that we sell that`s missing. Everything else is here, I think.

COELHO: Is it deep-fried fruit? This is absurd. Look at -- it`s crazy. I mean, how do you tackle this? Like, "Hey."

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, I usually start about right here.

COELHO: Right, OK.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And then work my way to the outside round, and then I don`t set it down until I`m done.

COELHO: Oh. I`m an official Steelers fan.

All right, so now I`m inside Primanti Brothers, the most famous sandwich in the world. Tell me how the history of the sandwich and how all of a somebody somewhere down the line decided to put everything, everything you eat in one bun?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: There was a truck driver sandwich, so they can eat and drive at the same time they could drive the truck.

COELHO: Now, do you drive a truck? And do you eat the sandwich while you`re driving...

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No, I can`t. No.

COELHO: No? Tell me about the sandwich.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Our sandwiches are made off the grill with Italian bread, French fries, coleslaw, and tomatoes.

COELHO: So, tell me, how many calories are in this sandwich?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Probably 5,000.

COELHO: Oh, my goodness. This is unbelievable, and so light. Not heavy at all. I think my favorite part is the coleslaw, too.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It is good, isn`t it?

COELHO: Yes, because it makes you think that you`re eating something healthy. It`s the cabbage.

All right, I`ve spent an amazing day in Pittsburgh. I`ve learned how to eat like a Pittsburgher; I`ve learned how to drink like a Pittsburgher; I`ve learned how to work like a Pittsburgher; and I`ve become a Steelers fan. I love Pittsburgh!

(END VIDEOTAPE)

BECK: Oh, yes. Dorothea, I mean, is this the greatest sandwich of all time?

COELHO: And it`s kind of small.

BECK: It is small.

COELHO: Yes, it`s a snack.

BECK: Here, you need a...

COELHO: Thank you so much.

BECK: ... because I`m not having to sit here -- in fact, here, wipe this up for me, will you?

COELHO: Yes, yes, excellent.

BECK: Yes, good, you can put it back down.

COELHO: Perfect.

BECK: There we go.

COELHO: Can you smell that?

BECK: Now I`m ready to go. Yes. So what exactly is in this thing? This is...

COELHO: Well, first of all, as you notice, it`s humongous. It`s kind of like Tom Cruise`s ego.

BECK: I`m not waiting.

COELHO: Yes. And you have pastrami, melted provolone, French fries, tomatoes and coleslaw. And the coleslaw`s the kicker, because it`s the vegetable. It`s the healthy part. And it`s unbelievable. And, basically, it was invented for truckers who -- this is the first meals on wheels.

BECK: God bless truckers!

COELHO: So you just dive in and go.

BECK: We love you. But what is it -- I mean, because you`re from L.A.

COELHO: Yes.

BECK: OK? What is it -- why do people from L.A., New York, why do they come here and talk down to the people in the middle of the country? What is it that they`re missing?

COELHO: Well, first of all, their football teams aren`t as good, yes?

(APPLAUSE)

But, seriously, I think L.A., New York -- I`ve lived in both places. I know I`ve got more food in my mouth than I do on Thanksgiving. I think what happens is, on the East Coast, everyone`s very narcissistic in the big cities.

BECK: No!

COELHO: I know, it`s shocking. We think we are the center of the universe.

BECK: Right.

COELHO: But people forget, like, kind of the heart of the country is in a city like Pittsburgh. And I`ve got to tell you, I`ve lived in a lot of places. I`ve traveled a lot of places. It`s one of the greatest cities I`ve been to.

BECK: It`s great.

COELHO: It is, because the people are very real here.

BECK: You know what -- exactly.

(CROSSTALK)

BECK: I was just in Columbia, South Carolina, felt the same way. It`s just real. That`s the best way to describe it. Dorothea, I`ve got to run, but thank you so much.

Oh, by the way, it`s an Oprah moment. Sandwiches for everybody!

(APPLAUSE)

COELHO: Cheers!

BECK: It`s better than an Oprah car. Oh, Oprah gives you car; I give you food.

(CROSSTALK)

COELHO: Look at me. I`m Oprah. Big earrings.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECK: All right, when it comes to technology, I`ve got to be honest with you, I can barely work the light switch. I am a complete moron. This is serious. Is TiVo driving you nuts? If you record this show, it records three times a night and I can`t make it stop!

Here`s what I would like: a remote with just one button that just says "get her done." There is a new movie out Friday that takes that technology one step further. It`s universal remote. It actually controls the universe.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ADAM SANDLER, ACTOR: Are you playing some catch?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Actually, we`re playing some drop, because Ben hasn`t caught one yet.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Darn it!

SANDLER: Ah.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Ah!

SANDLER: Oh. You`re making a Derek Jeter yourself, O`Doyle.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: "Click" reunites Adam Sandler with his co-star in the comedy "Waterboy" and "Little Nicky" a few years back. Henry Winkler now joins me from New York.

I got to tell you -- may I call you Henry?

HENRY WINKLER, ACTOR: You know what? I wish you would.

BECK: It`s a little weird. I`ve got to tell you, I can`t believe that I get an opportunity to meet Henry Winkler and I`m in a bowling alley. It`s just not right.

WINKLER: I flew to New York to be with you, and here you are in Indiana.

BECK: Yes, please.

WINKLER: Can I ask you a question? Could you please ask the people that are with you in the bowling alley -- can we have a show of hands of everyone who is going to this movie on Friday?

BECK: Who`s going to "Universal Remote"? Oh, wow. Wow.

WINKLER: It`s called "Click."

BECK: That`s good. Oh yes, "Click"! Yes, now let me ask you this question: Who`s going to "Click"? Nobody`s going to "Click." They`re all going to "Universal Remote."

I`m a putz. Henry, I don`t know if you know this, but I`m a total clown on TV, man. I know, I mean, they`re giving shows out at CNN like they`re candy.

WINKLER: Is that true?

BECK: If I can get a show, anyone -- oh, yes, I got a show. Have you seen the show?

WINKLER: Yes, but I have to say -- I have to say, you are a very -- I don`t have a show anymore. Mine was cancelled. But the thing is that you`re very entertaining.

BECK: Thank you. Wow, that`s praise. And if you only meant that, that would mean an awful lot to me.

WINKLER: No, no, the thing is, I`m known for lying.

BECK: All right. And by the way, I`ve got to tell you, I absolutely loved you in "Arrested Development."

WINKLER: Thank you.

BECK: Just what a tremendous show. How bummed were you that that thing was cancelled?

WINKLER: Well, you know what? It was amazing, because I was asked to do one episode, and then I was invited to do eleven.

BECK: Well, you were great.

WINKLER: And the creator, Mitch Hurwitz, is brilliant.

BECK: I have to tell you, I don`t know -- there`s some crappy show on HBO. Does anybody know the name of that show that`s -- it just came out on HBO.

WINKLER: "Lucky Louie."

BECK: It`s some comedy -- oh, have you seen that?

WINKLER: I have.

BECK: It`s the only show on television worse than my show, and that`s saying something. It`s just -- it`s horrible, and I don`t know how "Arrested Development" wasn`t picked up by somebody like HBO.

WINKLER: You know what? That is a very good question. It`s a question that so many people ask me, but all of the people that have asked me about "Arrested Development" are going to see "Click," starring Adam Sandler.

BECK: So now if you saw -- I mean, if you had, you know, a remote control, like they have in "Universal Control," or as you like to call it, "Click," what part of your life would you skip past?

WINKLER: You know what? The first thing I would do would -- I would end the war in Iraq. I`d just kind of click it.

BECK: Oh, no.

WINKLER: And the second thing I would do, I would mute Ann Coulter.

BECK: Really?

WINKLER: Yes.

BECK: Do we have to go down this road?

WINKLER: No.

BECK: I`ve made a policy on my show that I don`t -- you know, may I call you Henri?

WINKLER: Yes, you may.

BECK: I mean, it sounds like a little French here. Let me call you Henri.

WINKLER: Call me Henri.

BECK: I made a policy: I don`t care what people in Hollywood think, whether you`re for the war or against the war. I want to like you for the character that you play on television and movies.

WINKLER: OK. All right, you know what?

BECK: Does that make sense?

WINKLER: Absolutely. I`m not thinking anymore. I`m just going to answer your questions.

BECK: No, no, no, I don`t mean it that -- oh, now it`s turned ugly, hasn`t it?

WINKLER: I`m having a great time!

BECK: I get the name of your movie wrong like four times...

WINKLER: I don`t care.

BECK: ... and all of a sudden it gets ugly.

WINKLER: I don`t care, because, Bob, let me tell you something, I think you`re adorable.

(LAUGHTER)

BECK: I don`t think that`s -- OK. Let me see, what else do we have?

WINKLER: Hello?

BECK: You are actually -- you are one of the inventors of one of the biggest things in television. Everybody says -- like, for instance, this show a couple of weeks ago, I sang on the air, and that`s when we like to say we jumped the shark.

WINKLER: Right.

BECK: That actually comes from you.

WINKLER: Yes. And I am the only actor on American television, probably anywhere in the world, who has jumped the shark twice. I jumped the shark on "Happy Days," and then I jumped the shark on "Arrested Development."

BECK: I don`t remember that episode on "Arrested Development." Actually, the crowd, they knew you were on, they wanted to know if you actually did strap on the water skis and jump the shark?

WINKLER: I did everything but the jump. They wouldn`t let me do the jump, because you can`t do your own stunts, but I was a water ski instructor in camp.

BECK: Right. OK, good. That helps.

WINKLER: Thank you.

BECK: I guess.

WINKLER: Thank you.

BECK: You`re also -- your production company, real quick...

WINKLER: Yes.

BECK: You are a guy that just thinks that there should be more good quality shows, something the family can sit back and watch, and you`re actually one of the good guys in Hollywood...

WINKLER: Thank you, but you don`t care what I think. OK.

BECK: ... that is relating to families. No, not really, no, sorry to say. I think we`re done. OK!

WINKLER: Is that it?

BECK: Henry Winkler...

WINKLER: Oh my goodness.

BECK: I think that`s it.

WINKLER: Can we just say "Click" again?

BECK: "Click"! Go see "Click." It looks really great, it does. And I mean that from somewhere deep inside.

WINKLER: You know what? I feel it.

BECK: Henry Winkler, thank you so much, sir.

WINKLER: I feel it.

BECK: You`re the best.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECK: All right, it`s time for "Ask Glenn," where you can ask anything about anything and then I ramble on with an answer that`s both uninterrupted and unquestioned, which is the way us hatemongers like it.

Dan in Columbus writes, "Gee, Glenn, you`re always talking about the wonders of capitalism and how it works. It works for the `haves,` but it doesn`t work for the `have-nots.` Ask a black person in the slums if they think capitalism is such a wonderful thing."

You know what I like about this e-mail is the way you brought race right into it. That`s great. Poor way to argue a point, sure, but who am I to say? I`m a hatemonger.

You know, you can find some people who aren`t going to succeed in the world of capitalism. You can even find some individuals who won`t like it even if they do succeed. Michael Moore comes to mind.

But it`s the best system in the world. Look at the alternatives. Do you really want to screw with socialism? Even the relatively stable socialists like France and Germany have unemployment rates that are double ours.

How about the crazy fascism? Sure, worked well for Hitler and Mussolini. I look back on those years with such fondness. Eh, not so much.

Communism? Remember all the holidays with revolution in them? You know, from your high school history books? Well, advance to 2006. Now there are only five legitimate communist states on Earth. Tell me if you`d want to live in any of them.

There`s beautiful China, tropical Laos, gorgeous Vietnam, bountiful Cuba -- which I hear is beautiful this time of year -- and, of course, the paradise that is North Korea. Ah, imagine stretching out on the beautiful North Korean shore next to Kim Jong Il in a beach towel. Oh, nothing like that real communist tan.

Here`s a little GLENN BECK rule for you. If you`re in a system with a government that kills 100 million people in 100 years, you`re going to have a hard time getting positive press. I`m just saying.

With capitalism, just like anything else, the media always focuses on the few people who buck the trend. You`re going to find the hard worker that gets laid off, the person who hasn`t slept with Paris Hilton -- he exists somewhere -- the lottery winner that doesn`t end their life hanging in a lonesome trailer.

Instead of looking at the people who live in the slums and don`t make it, maybe we should focus a little more on the ones who do make it. Capitalism allows for the biggest successes and the most incredible failures, just like me, five nights a week.

From Fort Wayne, we`ll see you tomorrow, you sick freaks.

END