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What Can We Do About North Korea?; Teen Without Arm on High School Crew Team; Analyzing Mexico`s Presidential Election; Staying Happy and Healthy While Aging

Aired July 5, 2006 - 19:00:00   ET


ANNOUNCER: Tonight`s episode of Glenn Beck is brought to you by Kim Jong-Il`s Crazy Juice. Kim Jong-Il`s Crazy Juice, the official beverage of World War III.
GLENN BECK, HOST: You know, for a time there I was really looking forward to the end of the Cold War, but now, do you remember when you were a kid and you were underneath the blanket. And you were like, "They`re going to vaporize you tonight." Now, I kind of find myself pining for those simpler times when our enemies were -- sure, they were going to vaporize us. But they were only half insane.

Now, our enemies, like Kim Jong-Il, they`re not just nuts; they are Courtney Love make out with a homeless person nuts, and they have weapons. Of course, Courtney Love has weapons, too, but those are S.T. -- anyways.

It`s kind of like we`re Austin Powers, and he`s Dr. Evil, except I don`t think we`re going to be able to trap Kim Jong-Il in outer space with his hairless cat. I don`t know for sure, but I`m thinking.

I also think there`s some part of him that maybe wants to turn America into East Korea. I`m not really sure.

But the one thing I am sure of is this feeling that I have that we`re the only people on planet Earth that really understand evil. I mean, when did evil stop being evil to people? There are some things in life that aren`t so ambiguous, aren`t there? I mean, we kind of recognize evil. At least we used to.

By the way a special shout-out to these guys for saying that we didn`t need a missile defense program. I mean, look at them patting themselves on the back. Good job, guys. No, seriously.

So if Kim Jong-Il isn`t the definition of evil, what is? I have a little checklist. Evil: first you have to make a giant statue of yourself. Check. Starve your own people. Check. Build concentration camps. Check. Is 5`1" and has a serial killer haircut. Check, check, and check. Add them all together and Kim Jong-Il is, without a doubt, the mayor of crazy town.

So what should we do about this? Honestly, I mean, I`m out. I`ve got nothing. I filed North Korea under the "I have no freaking idea department" in my file cabinet. Oh, really.

For years now, Mitchell Reese was our chief negotiator preventing nuclear proliferation on the North Korean Peninsula.

What is your solution? Please tell me you have one.

MITCHELL REESE, FORMER CHIEF NEGOTIATOR: Well, right now it`s clear that North Korea has thrown the equivalent of an international temper tantrum. But we need to understand why they did this, what they hope to achieve, so that we can counter them and make sure that our agenda is the one that`s promoted.

BECK: So what is -- so why are they doing it?

REESE: Well, I think it serves a number of agendas for Kim Jong-Il. First of all, it`s his way of demonstrating to the world that he is independent, that he isn`t going to cave under to pressure from the United States in particular, but also the regional neighbors that warned him against testing these missiles.

It also is a sock to his military that wanted to test these missiles for many years and a propaganda tool that they can use to rally the people inside North Korea.

I think it may also be true that some people in North Korea hope that this will be used to bring the United States and the other parties back to the negotiating table on North Korea`s terms so that they can reach an agreement that benefits them.

BECK: So you`re in Alaska, California, Oregon, Washington state, are you ducking under the desk and duck and cover? I mean, how real is this?

REESE: Well, it`s very real, but the threat hasn`t quite materialized in all its potential form. This test, fortunately, didn`t succeed fortunately, but we have to recall that a number of U.S. missile tests in the `50s and `60s...

BECK: Right.

REESE: ... also failed on the platform or soon after launch. So North Korea did learn something from this test, and they`re going to continue to develop a long-range ballistic missile capability. Obviously, that`s a great concern for us.

BECK: Have we learned anything from this? Do you agree that he`s the mayor of crazy town?

REESE: Well, again, I think that the North Koreans that I met over the years were -- were almost always very smart. They just weren`t terribly sophisticated. They literally don`t get out a lot.

BECK: I`m asking about him. I`m asking about him. Do you think he`s a stable individual?

REESE: Well, I think what he does is he has a certain set of priorities, a certain set of things that he wants to accomplish, and he doesn`t always recognize that the type of behavior he engages in can be counterproductive.

BECK: Right.

REESE: I think yesterday was a case in point.

BECK: OK, so now are we going to learn from our lessons? I know that China has come out -- is there a chance that they`ll stop sending them food?

REESE: Well, that`s devoutly to be wished, and that`s really the key question along with South Korea`s policy of engagement, also. The challenge for the United States is to translate the current outrage and upset into tangible steps that change North Korea`s behavior. South Korea and China have the most leverage on North Korea, and so that`s really what the focus of our diplomacy has to be.

BECK: Right, OK. Mitchell, thank you very much.

P.J. Crowley was a special assistant to President Clinton. He`s now a director of national defense for the Center for American Progress.

P.J., no answers brother, none.


BECK: Thank you very much.

Let me ask you this. Does China, when they send them food, is it Chinese food? Do you know?

CROWLEY: I don`t know. A good question.

BECK: Do we send them General Tso`s Chicken? Kind of like with the general in there?

CROWLEY: Sure. We`ve got to separate out, when we talk about diplomacy, who`s got what interests. Obviously, South Koreans have the greatest interest, because they`re sitting south of his border, and he has the capacity to do a lot of urban renewal in downtown Seoul if he chooses.

BECK: Right.

CROWLEY: The Chinese have a different kind of issue. Because if we do handle North Korea badly and at some point, you know, the -- the regime implodes or explodes, you`re going to have a huge population flow of people into Manchuria, China.

So while they do have leverage on North Korea, it only gets you so far. Ultimately, whether the administration says they want a diplomatic solution, there`s only one thing missing for five years, and that`s the actual diplomacy.

BECK: Right. Let me...

CROWLEY: So ultimately, if you want to solve this problem you have to have a conversation with North Korea even if you don`t like them.

BECK: Yes, yes. I`m going to give you a big no on that one. I tell you what, like I said, I don`t have any answers. I have anti-answers, and here they are. The first one would be do we trust Russia and China? Show me Russia and China are our friends? No. Not really, no Russia and China...

CROWLEY: Having them on board at least constructive not destructive...

BECK: Yes, yes. Show me -- let`s go to the U.N.? No. No. U.N. -- you`re probably for a U.N. resolution, aren`t you?

CROWLEY: Well, look, I mean, it beats the alternative. I mean, what are we going to do? We`ve tried ignoring Kim Jong-Il. It hasn`t worked. We`re kind of busy right now in Iraq and Afghanistan.

BECK: What is really -- let`s call a spade a spade on the U.N. The U.N. -- a U.N. resolution is as dependable as my new year`s resolution. You know, my new year`s resolution every year: I`m going to get in shape. Never happens.

CROWLEY: Actually -- actually, U.N. resolutions work with respect to Iraq. We just didn`t believe...

BECK: Wait, wait. We didn`t believe. Nobody believed that he had gotten rid of the weapons.

CROWLEY: Actually, end up containing the guy.

BECK: Nobody believed him. You know why? Because we caught him time and time again lying to the U.N. and we did nothing about it.

CROWLEY: It brings you back to my point. Ultimately, the one thing you`ve got to do here, you`ve got to have a serious conversation with Kim even if you tell him he`s crazy and you don`t like his taste in movies. And I bet he has seen "Austin Powers".

BECK: Yes, I bet he has, too, along with Swedish porno.

CROWLEY: What we really need to do is somehow we`ve got to crack open the door called North Korea. If you get to some sort of reform movement...

BECK: Let me -- let me -- I`ve only got...

CROWLEY: ... it`s going to dissipate, just like the Soviet Union.

BECK: I`ve got 20 seconds. So these are -- these are real quick answers. Is he a good guy? Yes or no?


BECK: Can he be trusted, yes or no?


BECK: Is he starving his people, yes or no?

CROWLEY: Absolutely.

BECK: Why would we get into bed with this guy and trust him on any agreement?

CROWLEY: Because the alternative is that he continues to develop fission material, bombs, and missiles and eventually sells them to terrorist groups.

BECK: Why would we believe him that he`s going to -- I mean, it`s like Chamberlain coming off the plane and saying, "Hey, England, you can sleep well tonight." What are you talking about?

CROWLEY: We get the door open and then reform will take care of the rest.

BECK: All right. P.J., thank you very much. I appreciate it.

CROWLEY: Glenn, always a pleasure.

BECK: All right. Bye-bye.



BECK: Thank God we`ve got these soldiers out there right now. Thank -- thank our God in heaven that I believe our soldiers understand the words of "America the Beautiful": "more than self their country love. The heroes that are being proven in liberating stride. And their success be nobleness."

If that`s not -- if that`s not the quintessential description of what`s happening in the Middle East right now with our soldiers, I don`t know what is. If that`s not the way you describe what`s happening in Afghanistan and Iraq, I don`t know how you would define it.


BECK: Over the weekend, Superman made $104 million at the box office. Tonight I want to introduce you to somebody else who`s kind of a Superman, but he`s never going to make anywhere near that in his entire lifetime.

His name is Chris Hayden. He`s a recent high school graduate who honestly when you meet him, he makes ordinary things, when he does them simply extraordinary.


BECK (voice-over): When you first meet him, you can`t help but notice his disability. But spend five minutes with him, and you can`t help but forget about it.

Chris Hayden was born with no right arm and a left arm with no elbow and only three fingers. But that hasn`t stopped Chris. As far as I can tell, it hasn`t even slowed him down.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Two now (ph), every stroke. One.

BECK: He`s the coxswain for his high school crew team, which recently won the New York state championship. Chris came on board four years ago.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I saw this little freshman, no more than just 70 pounds, going through the food line, and he had a tray, a tray of food, a bottle of water, took out his wallet, and didn`t miss a beat. I mean, it was just miraculous. He sat down, and I said to him, "You`re a perfect coxswain."

BECK: You`d think it would be tough fitting in amongst all the jocks. Maybe for some, just not for Chris.

CHRIS HAYDEN, BORN WITHOUT ARM: I`ll take my lack of arm for uniqueness. I love being unique. I love standing out in a crowd, and if it -- you know, if it`s -- my handicap that makes he stand out, fine.

But I think I like the challenges. And with my handicap it challenges me to be a good problem solver and to raise the bar for myself. I don`t get jealous, because I just see it as another thing I`ve got to overcome just to, you know, be up with these guys.

BECK: And his teammates?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I don`t even see the handicap anymore. He`s just a good kid, and he just sticks with it, like he always strives to get on the top boat, and he just pushes all the other coxswains along. He does everything he can every day so I can do the same. So it`s such an inspiration.

BECK: Chris is heading off to college this fall, where he`ll continue to do crew. But before that, he is spending the summer at Shriners Children`s Hospital in Philadelphia. He`s not a patient here this time; he`s a volunteer, spending time with kids like Herman.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: My hips are wrong. They`re going to reconstruct my hips.

HAYDEN: This place gave me a lot. I worked with prosthetics and artificial therapy here from an early age. You know, they took me in right away, and I feel like at this point in my life I`m kind of in a transitional period. And I thought it was a great time that I can share things.

A lot of these kids are close to my age. I went through all the experiences that they`re going through.

BECK: Here at the hospital nobody focuses on what Chris can`t do. When he`s volunteering it`s all about what he can do.

HAYDEN: Hi-five. Give me a hug. Can I get a hug?

HAYDEN: Sometimes if I see someone looking at me differently, I`ll go up to them and talk to them and ask if they have any questions because I have a lot of knowledge that I can share with people. And, you know, I got over it a long time ago. But I think the best way to do it is just realize that they`re just interested in you, you know, and you can either ignore them, which is easy, or you could go talk to them and, you know, talk to them about yourself.

BECK: Whether he`s leading his team to victory or just playing a friendly game of basketball, chances are, Chris is sporting a smile and a winning attitude.

HAYDEN: The greatest compliment I get from my best friends is they forget that I have one arm all the time, you know. They`ll ask me to do -- "Oh, yes, that`s right you have one arm." Like my best friends, they don`t even realize it.

BECK: Proving that spirit is stronger than disability. And at times life`s greatest hardships can also be the most amazing blessings.


BECK: Chris Hayden joins me now. Chris, how are you?

HAYDEN: I`m very well. How are you?

BECK: Very good. What an inspiring story.

HAYDEN: Thank you.

BECK: Have you always had this attitude? Has there been a tough part of your life?

HAYDEN: You know what, I`ve always had a great support system around me, and whenever there is obstacles I think I can -- I always find the right attitude and surround myself with the right people. And I get the job done.

BECK: It`s amazing how -- what a difference being with the right people can make.


BECK: Or being with the wrong people, how it can totally change your life in the other direction. What`s the toughest part of life for you?

HAYDEN: I think the same thing that`s tough for everyone. I think I -- I just have a little different kind of way I have to problem solve. Everyone goes through difficult, you know, things in their life, and I just have to solve the problems a little differently than everyone else.

BECK: So when you -- because a lot of people will look at you and say, "Oh, my gosh, you`ve got it so tough, et cetera, when you hear people say, "Oh, gee, I`ve got the worst life ever. I`ve got it so tough," do you ever want to slap them across the face?

HAYDEN: Yes, you know, I think everyone has problems, and it`s just how you deal with them that -- that makes you stand out. And, you know, everyone`s given certain gifts, and everyone doesn`t have certain gifts. You`ve just got to use what you have.

BECK: Right. What an amazing team you have around you at school. How do you feel about leaving them and going to college?

HAYDEN: I`m going to miss all of them. We spend so much time together because we practice together. We all go to school together. And then we travel together. All of our races are mostly out of state, some upstate in upstate New York. But we travel every weekend together, spend nights in hotels together, you know. We`re like kind of like a close knit family. So, yes, it`s going to be tough leaving them all, but I`ll see them at races, and...

BECK: Right. Where are you going to school?

HAYDEN: I`m going to Holy Cross in Worcester, Massachusetts.

BECK: OK. Great town. You`ll love Worcester.

HAYDEN: I`m very excited.

BECK: Who inspires you? Who do you look at and you say, "Wow, that person really has it down?"

HAYDEN: My grandmother. My grandmother, she raised eight children basically by herself, and she`s just such a great inspiration. She`s upbeat, she`s hilarious. And it`s her positive attitude I think kind of rubbed off on me, and that`s what gets me through every day. She had -- she had eight kids at the age of 28.

BECK: Holy cow.

HAYDEN: And she got -- yes, she got through it.

BECK: She knows what caused that, didn`t she?

HAYDEN: I think so. She was a player in that.

BECK: She was a player in that. That`s great.

HAYDEN: But you know, the way she problem solved, she had it -- I think she had it much tougher than I did. I`m just, you know, missing a limb.

BECK: So what do you want to do with your life? You`re going to college. What do you want to do?

HAYDEN: I`m going to study political science at Holy Cross.

BECK: Holy cow, you`re going to be a politician?

HAYDEN: I might be.

BECK: They crush your spirit; you know that, don`t you?

HAYDEN: Yes, let them try. Let them try.

I could go into politics. That`s something I`ve always thought of. My dad works on Wall Street. I`ve always thought about maybe going into business. I`m really open to anything. I`m ready to go out, have new experiences, and try different things.

BECK: I`ll tell you -- I`ll tell you, the one reason why I like so much -- I think most of Americans liked Ronald Reagan was his optimistic attitude, and I see it in your eyes. You have the same kind of attitude.

HAYDEN: Thank you very much.

BECK: I wish you the best of luck.

HAYDEN: Thank you. And good to meet you.

BECK: You bet. Nice to meet you.



BECK: All right. Welcome to today`s "Quality of Life Market Update."

Today we start in New Jersey, where the stock of democracy is in trouble after Democratic Governor Jon Corzine shut out the -- shut down the state after a budget argument.

Now, normally, at least on this program, a governor taking a stand against some money hungry legislators hell-bent on spending the state in oblivion would be a good thing, but in this case, not so much. See, the reason Corzine won`t approve the budget is because he wants to raise the state sales tax. Funny, Jon, but I don`t remember hearing that pledge during your campaign last fall.

Unfortunately, this little state shutdown is only the latest step in what I like to call the Jon Corzine reelection plan. Now, if you follow this plan step by painstaking step, you can, if you`re a candidate, absolutely, positively guarantee that you will lose by a landslide in the next primary election. So here we go. If you`re thinking about running for office or if you`re already one of the other 49 governors and you want to retire early, get a pen and paper handy, because here comes Jon Corzine`s test.

Step No. 1. You propose a new hospital tax. Yes, Corzine wanted $1,500 per bed per month from every hospital. And why not? I mean, health care is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of underpriced services.

Step 2. Propose a new water tax. Really, a water tax. Corzine wanted to start taxing everyone who uses the public water supply which is, you know, just about everyone, especially the rich. Taxing things like air and water are key parts to this plan.

Step 3. Propose raising the state sales tax. I mean, really, who buys stuff in stores anyway? I mean, you buy everything now from overseas or on the Internet. I mean, this doesn`t really even apply to you.

Step 4, propose lowering the speed limit. Really, when you`re done raising taxes, turn your attention to making people`s commutes even longer. Oh, they`ll be very happy.

And finally, step 5, shut down the government. After you`ve completed the previous steps, you`re ready to shut down the entire state, including the Motor Vehicles Department, which actually is a plus, the state beaches, and the casinos and lottery during a holiday weekend. After all, why not close down the only services that actually make money for the state?

It`s a long way to the 2010 primary, Jon, but I`ve got a feeling you might want to start working on your golf game now.

The market on chocolate chip cookies rising sharply, thanks to one remarkable new devise. Now I don`t know about you. Have you ever wondered why nobody`s ever invented a way to dunk cookies in milk without getting your fingers all wet and sticky? Yes, I mean, me neither.

That hasn`t stopped David Freedman. He`s a computer salesman from Florida creating an invention that is sure to alter the act of cookie dunking forever. May I introduce to you now Mr. Dunk. The invention is quite simple. You just put your cookie between Mr. Dunk`s cute little arms and then you dip it into milk. According to the packaging, Mr. Dunk makes drinking milk fun.

Which you know for me was Kahlua, but now if you don`t feel like shelling out the $4 to keep your hands dry, may I suggest another new invention I like to call Mr. Napkin.



BECK: Global public opinion surveys regularly put Americans at the top of the patriotic index. Good. The U.S. flag is a visible symbol of that strong sentiment. Even their national anthem is about the flag. Wow, we`re number one in patriotism. We`re number one in patriotism?

If that`s true, wouldn`t you hate to be in any other country? My gosh. Think about how they tear their country down. Holy cow. I just realized something. I was just being patriotic about being in the most patriotic country. I`m such a jingoistic fool.

Do you remember when the president went back on prime time TV and he said, "Congress, you need to pass tough immigration plans?" Yes, that worked out great, didn`t it? It`s almost like someone on this show predicted that it wouldn`t work.

Now we have Mexico`s presidential election. The conservative candidate claimed victory, then late today, his left wing opponent -- socialist, I love that -- pulled slightly ahead in the official count but still insists that thousands of ballots were tampered with or missing or, you know, the chad, "Whoa, what happened there?" Sound familiar.

This is a great opportunity. Think of this as the next big U.S. export. Yes. Election recounts. You`re welcome, rest of the world. Actually, this isn`t really as humorous as that chad count was down in Florida. First, whoever becomes Mexico`s next president is going to have to work with our president to stop the insanity along our southern border. And I, for one, hope it`s the socialist.

Second, the clock is ticking on passing any new immigration policy before our midterm elections. Yes, not going to happen. So what did the house and Senate do today? They started public hearings to try and reconcile the differences between the competing bills. Yes, sure.

The head`s going to explode. There it is. President Bush needs to pull this one out. And he can. Over the weekend, he reportedly agreed to postpone his guest worker and citizenship program and focus on one thing, border security. Everybody can agree on that, right? We can, can`t we? We should be able to. I mean, if you have a leek in your basement, you don`t really spend all the time with a bucket bailing out the water. You fix the leak first, don`t you.

Juan Hernandez just got back from Mexico. Juan, who is going to win?


BECK: Oh, I love him. Which one is he?

HERNANDEZ: He`s on the right in many respects. He is a gentleman who`s been very pro-creating jobs in Mexico, very pro-globalization. He`s even pro-United States.

BECK: Yes, so is Vicente Fox, and that`s not helping us.

HERNANDEZ: Yes, it is helping.

BECK: Is he the guy who`s like the man of the people?

HERNANDEZ: No, the other guy has shown himself to be more of the people, especially of the poverty stricken people in Mexico. And Felipe -- that`s a good point. My friend, Felipe, is going to have to listen to the 40 million poverty stricken people in Mexico in his six-year term and make sure that he`s able to bring opportunities to them. If not, they`re going to have a big surprise six years from now when they have their new elections.

BECK: Let me ask you when a president down in Mexico is going to listen to the sounds of handcuffs on all the people that are taking bribes?

HERNANDEZ: Well, let`s put it this way. It took 71 years for Mexico, for the Mexican people, to get rid of a one-party system. That`s longer than communism. Vicente Fox and the Mexican people brought in democracy, so democracy is really very young in Mexico.

I think that there`s been a lot of people saying, "Well, it`s not right what`s going on in the elections in Mexico, that it`s very, very confusing." Well, that`s democracy, and we`ve seen it, as you said, in this nation, too. It`s a good thing of what`s going on in Mexico.

BECK: Well, there`s a difference here. Because Jimmy Carter is down there, and he says these elections were fair and square.

HERNANDEZ: Yes, he did.


BECK: I`ve learned, whatever Jimmy Carter says, the opposite is true.

HERNANDEZ: No, no, no, no.

BECK: Check it historically. I`m right on that. How bad can things get if the conservative wins? I mean, is it going to get ugly? It felt ugly here, but thank goodness we`re America, and so we don`t feed on ourselves all that much.

HERNANDEZ: No, in the sense it`s very similar to what went on in Florida. Many have said, including the Jimmy Carters, that really the elections in Mexico of this year of July 2nd and now the counting, which is -- by the way, it`s not a recount. This would have happened anyway. It has been very, very technologically advanced.

In many senses, it`s the best it`s ever been done in the world. They`ve already done 98.6 percent of the quick counts. Felipe comes ahead by less than 1 percent, about 0.6 percent. But that`s democracy. You have two different visions, two different groups of people. And thank goodness we have a democracy south of our borders.

BECK: Wouldn`t that be weird if the socialist guy made a film of him giving a slide show on global warning?

HERNANDEZ: He`s not socialist really. He`s a gentleman that I think has promised too much. He`s a populist. But we`ve had those before. You know, one thing that I think we should worry about, we should worry about creating a better relationship with Mexico, not on your show, my dear friend, but on some of the others. All of this Mexico bashing, what do we want south of here? Do we want, really, a country like Cuba, like Venezuela? No. We want to continue with a partner and friend family member.

BECK: Next time you`re on, Juan -- next time you`re on, we`re going to talk about my Mexamericanada theory. All we`re doing down there is developing one giant European Union for this hemisphere. I`m telling you, it`s happening.

BECK: But I think that`s a good thing.


BECK: Juan, my head will explode. I`ve got to run.

Let`s go straight to Hill now. With Erica Hill, the anchor of prime news here on "Headline News." Hello, Erica.


BECK: How are things?

HILL: Things are not bad. How are things on your end?

BECK: Hey, I could be Ken Lay.

HILL: That`s true. Yes. That is actually getting a lot of attention today. You`re talking about the, of course, founder of Enron, Ken Lay, who we learned today passed away early this morning.

BECK: Oh, that`s what they`d have you think. No, I`m just saying -- no, I`m just -- it`s big oil. They`re faking his death just like Walt Disney, and he`s someplace...

HILL: So he`s cryogenically frozen somewhere?

BECK: I don`t think so. I think he`s got a frozen drink in his hand, and he`s somewhere on the island or something, spending all that dough that they claim to have taken away from him.

HILL: Well, that`s the Glenn theory. We should say, though, according to a family spokesperson, Lay died early this morning of a massive heart attack in Colorado, outside Aspen where he...

BECK: May I ask you this question?

HILL: You may.

BECK: You`re not going to answer it. You`ve got that news journalist integrity thing. This is really the way you would want to go, though. If you were facing prison, wouldn`t you just go to like the ski slopes of Aspen and just have as much sex as you can, hoping that you`d die of a heart attack?

HILL: I didn`t realize sex was involved.

BECK: Well, I mean, it`s not like he was skiing in the summer.

HILL: I want to go peacefully in my sleep. That`s how I want to go.

BECK: Right.

HILL: When I`m at a ripe old age, where I`m not suffering.

BECK: Yes. Not in jail. All right, I`ll stop with the uncomfortable situation. Next story.

HILL: OK. Real quickly, a new pill for anybody trying to quit smoking. It doesn`t have nicotine in it, but they`re saying that it may actually work better than some of the other antismoking drugs out there. It`s called Chantix. It was approved in May. It should go on sale next month. If you want some more information, there are three studies that are out in this week`s journal of the American Medical Association.

BECK: Sure. So it`s another drug to get you off the other drug?

HILL: Yes.

BECK: I like that. I like that. That`s why when I wanted to get out of alcohol, I just went right straight to cocaine. Erica, thanks a lot. Appreciate it. Bye-bye.


BECK: You know, up until about eight weeks ago, I could walk down the street unshaved, ketchup oozing out of my hot dog onto my Evel Knievel shirt and not have to worry about people saying "Oh, look, it`s Glenn Beck." Then, you know, they gave me this dumb TV show and, well, that still happens to me.

But Stephen Tobolowsky has kind of the same problem, except nobody says, "Hey, it`s Steve," because they can`t pronounce his last name. He`s got a harder name to pronounce, and he`s got one of those faces that you absolutely know. He`s been in over 200 films and TV shows. And I`ll bet you he always gets the same thing. "Hey wait a minute. I know you."

A couple of his friends, I think took pity on him, and decided that they should make a film about his life, some of the best stories, put it on film, let you watch it, kind of like the time when he was swimming in the ocean and wound up staring at a very, very big fin.


STEPHEN TOBOLOWSKY, ACTOR: When you`re in the water, you have no momentum to really get a good punch into the nose of the shark. Just forget about that one. So I`m floating, waiting to die. When suddenly, up from the water comes this creature, and it`s not a shark, it`s a dolphin.


BECK: Ned? Ned Ryerson? I know you. How sick of that are you?

TOBOLOWSKY: I love it.

BECK: You`re a liar.

TOBOLOWSKY: Look, Ned Ryerson is so much better than, "Hey, you`re unemployed." Ned is good. Ned is a good thing.

BECK: You know, it`s funny because you`ll see these actors that you have seen since you were a little kid, and they`ve been in a bajillion movies, and you`ll see them, and you`ll be like, "Hey, I know" -- but you don`t know their name. You`re kind of like -- I don`t mean this to be offensive, I hope you`re not taking this offensively.

TOBOLOWSKY: I`m hurt. I`m hurt deeply.

BECK: But I mean, people -- You know, I could say, "Hey, look who we have on tonight," and people wouldn`t have any idea until though saw your face.

TOBOLOWSKY: I had a great interview a couple days ago, and I have to just tell on the guy because it was too funny. It started off like, "You know his face, but you don`t know his name. Well, actually, I know his name, and I`m so pleased to be talking to Stanley Tobolowsky."

We had to work on the name a little more before we continued with the interview. And I tell you, it`s odd with me because when I was in Canada, people didn`t know I was an actor but they thought maybe I played hockey with them, and...

BECK: Because if I saw you, I would absolutely -- I wouldn`t come up to you and say, "Steven!" I would come up to you and say, "Ned?" I mean, I`d at least know where I know you from.

TOBOLOWSKY: Yes, yes. You know, a lot of people now know me from Deadwood. And because I was in Freaky Friday and Garfield like every 5 to 12-year-old in the country has seen me. Consequently, their parents have. So those two films do it for me now. I remember, the weirdest one -- my wife and I were lost in Reykjavik, Iceland, and we were on this...

BECK: Happens to me all the time.

TOBOLOWSKY: Happens to you in Iceland?

BECK: Yes, all the time. I get lost in Reykjavik. I can`t tell you how many times. They go, "Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck." Yes, that`s me.

TOBOLOWSKY: We were on the loading docks where all the big ships came in, and we had no phone, no taxi, no nothing. And this security guard came over and he saw me, and his face blushed and he goes, "Garfield! Garfield!" So, you know, he became my best friend for the next 20 minutes because he got me to the hotel.

BECK: So the movie is "Birthday Party," and it`s Steven Tobolowsky`s birthday party.

TOBOLOWSKY: Try Googling that one.

BECK: It`ll take me forever just to try to spell it. How did this come about?

TOBOLOWSKY: Well, you were right. A couple friends took pity on me. I think, about 15 years ago, I was telling stories in the kitchen, and one of those friends who took pity of me was my German cinematographer friend Robert Brinkman. He says, "You know, your stories are so weird and so unusual. What if we just put a camera up and you talk into the camera?"

And I thought, "Well, yes, that`s great. Sure. That`ll work." So we both forgot about it for about 15 years. And then last year, we actually had the time and energy to do this. So this is a cautionary tale. Don`t do this, Glenn.

Without a script, without rehearsal, without preparation, we basically set a camera up, and I talked for two straight days from dawn to midnight telling stories about my life and from the movies and somebody at HBO saw it and they said, "You know, this is a hoot. Can you premier it at the comedy festival in Aspen?"

So we said, "Yes, like poke me in the eye with a sharp stick. So, yes, we`ll do that." And then later, we ended up in Austin at South by Southwest, and then we just did in London and Montreal, then Buenos Aires. So this is like the little engine that could.

BECK: Yes.

TOBOLOWSKY: This movie now has been all over the world, and I`m so thrilled. It`s somewhat amusing.

BECK: Stephen, do you feel that you`ve made it?

TOBOLOWSKY: Oh, gosh. I felt like I made it when I played bellhop on "Crazy Like a Fox" 20 years ago.

BECK: Isn`t that a great thing? I`ve got to tell you, I feel the same way. I kind of hit kind of a midlife crisis, if you will, over the last couple of years, and it has really nothing to do with my job at all because I feel the same way. It`s kind of like, "Yes, I mean, who`s got a better gig than this, man? I never thought this. It`s great stuff."

TOBOLOWSKY: How old are you now?

BECK: I`m 74, but I go to the same doctor as Joan Rivers, so I`m good. Stephen, thank you so much. Appreciate it. Best of luck with your film.

TOBOLOWSKY: Thank you.

BECK: All right. Now, we have a guy on who can actually help a little bit with midlife crisis. Believe it or not, there are 8 million baby boomers potentially in the same boat if you`re having a midlife crisis.

So how do you stay happy and healthy as you get closer to the tombstone? Oh, yes, and that`s what`s coming for you. Dr. David Niven actually has some cold, hard scientific answers, or so they tell me. His book, "100 Simple Secrets of the Best Half of Life."

David, welcome to the program. There are a hundred secrets?

DR. DAVID NIVEN, AUTHOR, "THE BEST HALF OF LIFE": Well, there`s a hundred ideas that scientists have unearthed.

BECK: No, no. The name of the book is, "100 Secrets." What, do you work for "The New York Times?" Not quite so secret if they`re in a book, now are they?

NIVEN: Well, that`s a good point. But they are economically priced at only 10 cents a secret. So we`ve got that, at least.

BECK: So give me the biggest secret. First of all, you say that people are happier in the second half of their life than the first?

NIVEN: They are. And that`s actually one of the biggest secrets. We tend to think that happiness sort of runs out, that 20-year-olds and 30- year-olds have the lock on happiness and that as we age, it just gets grumpier and more unpleasant over time. And the truth is that 60-year-olds are every bit as happy as 25-year-olds?

BECK: Yes, I`m a recovering alcoholic. The only thing really I miss are the blackouts. I mean, I just wasted some great -- because now, I really think what, you know, what daddy can`t remember daddy won`t get crazy over. I really think so. But other than that, I like the second half of my life. I know I`m early in it. Why do you think that the second half is better?

NIVEN: Well, one of the things the second half offers is freedom. You know, when you were in your 20s or 30s, you don`t make a decision, "Should I retire or not." You don`t make a decision, "Should I try a new career and go in this direction or that direction?"

But as we age, you know, in some sense, the expectations change or the expectations fall away, so we have a chance to redefine ourselves and really get closer to what inspires us, what really motivates us instead of just following the path that we see everybody else following.

BECK: Right. I saw -- one of the things that you wrote in your book was that you should marry someone you respect. And then I looked down at the little scientific note and it said it increases your odds of having a lasting marriage by 2 percent. And I thought, "That`s it? Wow!" That`s not real good.

NIVEN: Some of these things, you know, they`re little pieces that add up to a very happy life. Little pieces that, in terms of what you do on a daily basis and your outlook, they`re really going to contribute to being able to sustain happiness. And the part about marriage, what`s most important is having some sort of sense of mutual goals, not being adrift at cross purposes.

BECK: All right. David, thanks. And the name of your book is -- what is it? It`s secret again.

NIVEN: "The 100 Simple Secrets to the Best Half of Life."

BECK: Yes. Secret. Interesting. Thanks a lot, David.


BECK: I was reading this weekend -- I found an article about our patriotism here in the U.S., an actual headline from some Frenchy-French news source. And I kid you not, "U.S. Flag Epidemic Reaches Peak on Fourth of July." Flag epidemic? Seriously, that`s nice, comparing our people showing our patriotism with an infectious disease.

Then they go on to quote some Frenchy-French author who says, "It`s a little strange, this obsession with the flag. I spit on you lowly American stars and stripes." He`s French, so I`m not exactly stunned that he wouldn`t understand our culture.

It`s kind of like how I don`t understand women with underarms that look like Loofah sponges. I mean, that`s your thing, France. I guess the flag is ours. Now, this weekend, I had several flags hanging outside of my house for the holiday, one flying on top and another right underneath. It was the Iraqi flag, and I was proud of it.

You know, I`m an evil warmonger, what can I say? I also heard "The Star Spangled Banner" about every 30 seconds during, you know, the one weekend where you`re allowed to openly like our country. But while I was at church, I heard something else.

And I want you to know, I`m not anti-"Star Spangled Banner." It`s a great national anthem. You know, "The land of the free and the home of the brave." You know, it`s tough to get better than that.

But as I was listening to the words of "America the Beautiful," I heard a message that I think our country needs now more than ever. And it`s not the spacious skies and purple mountains or fruited plain part. It`s the third verse, that I bet most people have never heard.

"O, beautiful for heroes proved in liberating strife, who more than self their country loved and mercy more than life. America, America, may God thy gold refine, till all successes be nobleness and every gain divine."

On the day where Enron is back in the news, is there any better goal than all your successes being noble and every gain divine? "Star Spangled Banner" focuses on mite and bravery and resilience, and certainly traits that are still vital today. But in our every day life -- at least in mine -- it`s nobleness and divinity that we need to be reminded of at the beginning, quite frankly, of every sporting event.

Don`t get me wrong. If you screw with us -- I mean, France, going to be lots of rockets red glaring. Oh, yes. And our bombs? Bursting on ground level now, not in the air unless we want them to. And if I were you, I wouldn`t test the rockets red glaring. I wouldn`t. I guess I`m just being a little jingoistic.

You can email me at but please, please be noble and divine while you do it. See you tomorrow on the radio show, you sick, twisted freak.



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