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Glenn Beck

Iran: The Puppet Master of the Middle East?; Will Morality of Cast Impact Nativity Film Success?

Aired November 28, 2006 - 19:00   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

GLENN BECK, HOST: Kind of creepy to see the pope in a bulletproof vest today. And there`s a new movie about the Virgin Mary, not so much virgin. Coming up.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: Tonight`s episode is brought to you by the Iraqi tourism board, now with three non-stops daily to Baghdad. Scratch that. Airport closed until further notice. Iraq: come for the civil war, but stay for the fight.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: Well, it`s finally official. On the condition of anonymity, a senior American intelligence officer has confirmed that the Iranian-backed terrorist group Hezbollah has been training members of the Iraqi Shiite militia led by Islamic extremist al-Sadr.

This is echoing a similar statement made before Congress by CIA director general Michael Hayden, who said, quote, "The Iranian hand is stoking violence in Iraq."

Now, I`ve been telling you the same thing for months, and I`ve also been telling you what do I know? I`m a recovering alcoholic, evil, conservative hatemonger. I`m just saying tonight it`s nice to be able to tell you, "Hey, look at that guy. He`s got some credibility, and he`s backing me up."

Here`s the point tonight: if there has ever been any doubt in your mind that Iran is the puppet master of the Middle East, the evidence now is crystal clear and too crystal clear to ignore.

Now that we know these things as fact, I`m even more worried about the safety of pope in Turkey. This is a country that is not beyond the grasp of Iran`s dark hand. This is a crucial moment for Turkey, a time in their history when they have to decide whether they are going to survive as a civilized, rational, and democratic state or if they`ll become yet another insane evil outpost under the thumb of the Iranian fundamentalists.

Here`s how I got there. As strange as it may sound, Turkey and the United States are actually very similar. Remember the founding principles of America. We were -- we`re a nation that is rooted in the ideals of morality and separation of church and state. We`re free of a state-imposed religion, and we can each worship the god of our own choice.

And while America is a young country, as far as the globe goes, Turkey is even a younger one. After the founding of the republic in 1923, the Turkish president insisted that Turkey`s future security and prosperity were required, that the backward Ottoman customs and institutions be shed in favor of more modern, progressive ones.

Islamic law was effectively repealed and replaced with nonreligious civil and criminal codes. They`ve been a stable democracy ever since. And this is in a country that is 99 percent Muslim.

However, there have been some disturbing new trends in Turkey. According to a new Pew poll published in "The New York Times", 53 percent of Turks have positive views of Iran, while public opinion of Europe and the United States has slipped sharply.

Turkey, you are at a pivot point. Will you stick to the honorable intentions in your constitution that have made you a peaceful, thriving democracy for the last half-century, or go over to the dark side and become part of Iran`s axis of evil?

I`d be a lot more optimistic if the pope hadn`t arrived there this morning in a flak jacket under protection of sniper coverage. Think about that. Here`s a universally recognized holy man of peace. He has embarked on a mission of healing, trying desperately to further the goals of harmony, understanding, and communication, while also furthering the growth of his own religion, but he has to do these things in a bulletproof vest. I`m not sure if that fills me with more rage or sadness.

Now, maybe I`m a fool to expect more from a country where Hitler`s "Mein Kampf" is on the best selling list. And oh yes, a year before anything was said about Islam by the pope, copies of the book called "Who Will Kill the Pope in Istanbul" were flying off the shelves of Turkish bookstores, as they still are today.

So, here`s what I know tonight: I know we must start calling evil by its name, which, by the way, is Iran and radical Islam. These religious zealots have a political agenda and won`t be satisfied until they rule at the helm of a global Islamic government.

I also know that you at home, and especially we in the media, have got to get a whole lot better at connecting the dots in this country and start to see what a gruesome picture those lines are starting to form. Whether you are talking about unrest in Lebanon, the constant threat against Israel, the civil war in Iraq, Russia`s exports of weapons and nuclear scientists just this last weekend, safe havens for al Qaeda or the holy war being waged against the west, all these lines lead right back to Iran.

Now, what I don`t know? I mean, I told you, I`m a recovering alcoholic, evil, conservative hatemonger. There`s a ton of things I don`t know. But when Turkey is keeping Hitler`s writings in print and the pope is in radical Islam`s crosshairs, the big thing tonight, I don`t know what it`s going to take for people to stop playing the political correctness game and recognize that we have a huge problem on our hands.

Walid Shoebat he is a former PLO terrorist and author of "Why I Left Jihad". Walid, how am I wrong here?

WALID SHOEBAT, AUTHOR, "WHY I LEFT JIHAD": You`re not wrong at all. As a matter of fact, you`re going to be blamed as being an Islamophobe like myself. But let`s not worry...

BECK: I`ve been in that club.

SHOEBAT: Let`s not forget the Naziphobes were right. No one argues with them then.

The world is trying to pressure the pope to apologize for some fact of history he mentioned. However, where is the apologies by the Turks for all the churches they converted to mosques?

Twenty thousand were demonstrating in Aya Sofia, which was a church, by the way. Is there any recognition of Cyprus by Turkey, any recognition of the Holocaust and the genocide of, the massacres of Smyrna and the Armenian Holocaust that happened?

BECK: All right. Let me take you here for a second. Let me take you to the prime minister in Turkey because, you know, you can talk about the Holocaust that has happened, but let`s talk about current events right now. This -- this prime minister, this is a guy who`s been in jail relatively recently. Why?

SHOEBAT: Well, he made a statement. His "Mein Kampf". He said the mosques are our barracks, the dorms are our helmets, the minarets are our bayonets, and the faithful are our soldiers. This, by essence, he is trying to plunge Turkey back to the Islamic era of being the Ottoman counterfeit.

Let`s not forget, there is an unrest between Iran and Turkey. Who is going to become the superpower in the Middle East? Iran looks like the superpower right now, and Turkey is not going to stand by, watching Iran becoming a superpower, so it`s going to try to plunge back Turkey into the Islamic fundamentalist.

Eighty-five percent of the Muslim world is Sunni, so the Sunnis are not going to just stand by, as well, watching Iran becoming a superpower, so the competition continues. But the point is who is going to represent Islam?

So, it`s going to go -- have to go to the dark ages because the Ottoman Empire was the wounded head of the caliphate. That`s where it has to start. Let`s not forget, there were demonstrations by the Palestinians in Gaza calling the Ottoman Empire to re-establish the caliphate, as well.

BECK: Some people would say that Turkey and their possible entrance into the E.U. is almost a Trojan horse, because there is some sort of mandate -- maybe you can clear this up -- I was just told this today. There`s some sort of mandate, Glenn, where 20 percent -- if the population is 20 percent of Europe in Muslim, there`s a mandate where they have to try to change the law over to Sharia law. Is that true?

SHOEBAT: That`s very true. Look at what happened in Lebanon. You look at what`s going on in France. You look at what`s going on in Europe.

The pope, the Catholics choosing this pope, and making his statements clear, what his opinion about Islam, is saving Europe from plunging into becoming part of the Islamic empire. He`s taken a good stand. He`s standing for Christians.

Let`s not forget, Glenn. I`m a Christian. I converted from Islam. I have no rights to survive in the Muslim world.

BECK: Right.

SHOEBAT: America and the west is the only place we can survive.

BECK: What happens if, God forbid, something happens to the pope?

SHOEBAT: Well, I think the west will finally wake up. It would be a tragic occasion, but the west will wake up and smell the humus, as I say. If you don`t know what humus is, I`ll give you a great recipe.

BECK: The -- the thing that surprises me is that "Mein Kampf" still a bestseller, last couple of years. Best seller, 100,000 copies sold last year. And I tell that to people, and they say, "Well, it`s just a book."

What should that tell people when you see "Mein Kampf" as the best seller in Turkey? What does that -- what should that say to us?

SHOEBAT: That should tell us that Islamism is on the rise in Turkey, especially when they show movies, as well, "The Valley of the Wolves", portraying Americans as evil and wicked.

The same trend that`s happening in the Middle East is happening in Turkey, and it`s its influence over the CIS (ph) nations is also happening, as well. Let`s not forget, Turkey has pipelines and has control over pipelines. So it has a tremendous clout in the Middle East.

It is the largest country, strongest country in the Sunni world, and the Sunni world is going to look towards Turkey to reestablish a caliphate from there, as well.

BECK: Walid, thank you very much.

SHOEBAT: You`re welcome.

BECK: The teen star of the critically acclaimed Christmas movie "The Nativity Story". Well, we find out she only really played a virgin. It`s called acting. How her personal life may present problems at the box office.

Also, celebrity couple news. The blessed union between Pam Anderson and Kid Rock torn asunder. More shocking: Britney Spears has a new playmate. We`ll tell you about that.

And when your kids start clamoring for Elmo TMX and PlayStation 3 during the season of giving, just remember, you have an evil conservative industry to thank. You`re welcome. Details coming up.

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BECK: Shouldn`t the leader of the Catholic Church be able to stand up and say, "My church is right? My church is the best church?" What, does the leader of Catholic Church have to get up and say, "You know what? I don`t know. We`re all alike." Then why should I even listen to you? "We`re like, you know, top five best churches."

Of course he should be saying those things. And any church that couples it with "we`re the best and we`re going to have to kill everybody that disagrees," then we stop those churches, synagogues, or mosques. Good heavens, man.

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BECK: Well, now, just in time for the holidays, brand new movie hits theaters, that is retelling the greatest story ever told. And I`m not talking about "When Harry Met Sally". That was a good story, but this is the greatest. It`s about the birth of Jesus Christ.

Now, not only was the nativity story being hailed as a dramatic and inspired recounting of the courtship between Mary, Joseph, and their journey to Bethlehem, but it was even given the stamp of approval by the pope himself.

With that kind of critical acclaim and the past commercial success of religious-themed films like "The Passion of the Christ", what could possibly go wrong? Besides Hollywood shooting themselves in the foot.

How about the 16-year-old unwed actress, playing the blessed virgin, announcing that she`s pregnant right before the release of the movie? A conception, I`m guessing, was anything but immaculate. That`s a guess, but who am I to judge?

For devout Christians, is there room for this at the Cineplex?

Joining me now is Ted Baehr. He`s the chairman of the Christian Film and Television Commission.

Hey, Ted, big deal or not?

TED BAEHR, CHAIRMAN, CHRISTIAN FILM AND TELEVISION COMMISSION: Well, I think the big deal is that the quality of the movie, the entertainment value of the movie, and the fact that the movie is so clear that this is the birth of the savior of God made flesh. I mean, this is one of the most sacred movies of all time.

Now, that said, there have been 126 movies since 1897 on the topic of Jesus, going from the nativity to the passion. And most of them that I`ve done research on, you know, like "King of Kings" in 1927, there have been moral failings on the part of the people involved as actors, actresses and the rest of it.

"King of Kings," the actor playing Jesus ran off with the script girl. And of course, the Jesus film, the actor was actually as debauched as you can get. And "Jesus of Nazareth," the director.

But the point of all this, and I`ll be very brief about it, is this is why Jesus was born, to save sinners. And so it`s a good example of why Jesus is needed.

BECK: Ted, stop it. How much Hollywood Kool-Aid have you been drinking? First of all, that`s not really what anyone from this movie is saying. Everybody I`ve seen interviews of people from this movie, they`re like, "It is a beautiful thing. It`s -- the birth of that child is going to be beautiful and she`s going to make a wonderful" -- she`s a 16-year-old unwed mother. That would be a tragedy if she were in school.

But she`s from Hollywood and part of this movie, so it`s a beautiful thing, and we support her 110 percent. Come on.

BAEHR: Well, I don`t know who`s saying that. I don`t know who you`re listening to, but...

BECK: Just the producer...

BAEHR: She`s from New Zealand. In the second place, you know, the good news is that she`s decided to keep the child, which is very rare in our society today. And the better news...

BECK: Wait a minute. Hang on. Hold it...

BAEHR: The message of the movie, and that`s...

BECK: I`m not going to let you -- no, I`m not going to let you get away with that. I am a father of an adopted child whose mother was 14. It is not necessarily the best thing for the child to stay with the mother when they`re a young teenager.

BAEHR: No. I meant keep the child instead of aborting the child.

BECK: Well, yes, OK, I`ll give you that. All right. I`m sorry to interrupt you. You were -- you were saying about the message of this movie.

BAEHR: I`m just saying that the message of the movie is underlined by the condition of Keisha. You know, the message of the movie is that Jesus came to save sinners.

BECK: Yes.

BAEHR: No man is righteous, no, not one, and good news is that the movie presents that truth in a very clear way, a beautiful way.

BECK: Right.

BAEHR: In fact, of all the movies that we`ve written about on the subject, this is the best. At MovieGuide.org, you can get all the history of the 126 movies about Jesus. This is probably the best that`s ever been made.

BECK: Well, I`m glad to hear that. I`ve been begging for a rated "G" movie, where -- I mean, "Curious George" was the last movie I saw that didn`t have any kind of messages in it that you didn`t expect when you walked in, and it was great. And it was a sweet film.

I`m glad to see this movie. I find it just -- it`s almost predictable that Hollywood would shoot themselves in the foot with -- I mean, you wouldn`t have Mel Gibson, you know, starring in "Schindler`s List". True.

BAEHR: It reminds me of last year when "End of the Spear" came out and the star was found out not to be as pristine as they wanted him to be.

BECK: Right.

BAEHR: And "Chariots of Fire", the star died of AIDS. You know, this problem has been going on for an awful long time.

BECK: Sure.

BAEHR: And today, what happens? The city of Chicago bans "The Nativity Story" from a Christmas festival.

BECK: Amazing.

BAEHR: Because they think that it`s too Christian.

BECK: Yes. Too Christian. It`s the Christmas story. It has Christ in the name.

BAEHR: Right.

BECK: Ted, thanks a lot.

BAEHR: You`re welcome.

BECK: You know, believe it or not, as he was just pointing out, not the first scandal to rock Hollywood. There is a new documentary premiering tonight, dares to rip apart the very fabric of Tinseltown. Here`s a quick preview.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: Tonight on "Sideline", "Hollywood: Land of Make Believe, Land of Lies".

He claimed to be the 40-year-old virgin. In reality, he was already 43 and apparently not a virgin.

Plus, was the death of Bambi`s mother actually the result of friendly fire or perhaps a self-inflicted gunshot wound triggered by postpartum depression? "Who Killed Bambi`s Mommy", tonight on "Sideline."

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: Lock the doors, hide the children because, yes, Virginia, Christmas is already here. Luckily, Glenn has just the recipe you need for keeping Santa at bay until Christmas Eve. Find out how by going to CNN.com/podcasts or iTunes. Then download Glenn`s podcast, "Sick, Twisted Freak."

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECK: Every day you can hear my radio program on stations all across the country including 830 KLAA in Los Angeles. And if you can`t find an affiliate in your area, sign up, listen online at my web site, GlennBeck.com.

Michael Graham is in Boston at 96.99 FM Talk.

Hello, Michael.

MICHAEL GRAHAM, RADIO TALK SHOW HOST: Hello, Glenn. How you doing?

BECK: Very good. You know, I`m actually going to be up in your area doing our Christmas comedy stage tour, I think, in two weeks.

GRAHAM: I know that, and the Massachusetts state police know that. They`re already prepared.

BECK: Yes.

GRAHAM: By the way, your show tonight, you`ve got -- you`re touching all the bases of evil: Iran, Iraq, Islamic radicalism, Britney Spears.

BECK: Yes.

GRAHAM: What`s left, genocide and female mutilation?

BECK: So let`s start -- let`s go to -- let`s start with Britney Spears. Britney Spears, apparently partying with Paris Hilton. And I heard this -- this talk today of, well, I don`t know if that`s good for her career. I`m thinking what?

I mean, she`s fallen off the wagon. She wants everybody to know she`s not a fat mother of two. That`s what she`s trying to do, sell CDs. Isn`t this good for her career?

GRAHAM: There are so many bizarre aspects to this story, one of which is that here we are, two semi-adult men, talking about a 24-year-old trailer trash chick...

BECK: I know.

GRAHAM: ... with two kids and a bum husband who`s, you know, going to be on a street corner soon selling apples out of a tin can.

But here`s the deal. It`s Britney, it`s Paris Hilton and it`s Lindsay Lohan in the pack thing. Because you know, Glenn, they always travel in packs.

BECK: Yes.

GRAHAM: You get the smart one, you got the fast one and you got the fat one. And what is scarier, that Britney is the fat one or that Paris is the smart one? That`s what I`m trying to figure out. What is more frightening? Who`s the wing person here?

BECK: I don`t -- you know, I don`t know. And anybody who thinks -- I mean, this is kind of society we`ve turned into.

GRAHAM: Yep.

BECK: To where she can sell more CDs -- she`s hanging out with Paris Hilton to be able to get her street cred back, and when I say street cred, probably poor choice of words.

GRAHAM: I`m sorry, Britney never had street cred. She had trailer cred, OK?

BECK: Yes, she did.

GRAHAM: Lipstick with this stuff. She`s 24 years old. She`s always moaning -- she`s already moaning, "I`ve wasted so much of my life having children. I`m 24."

BECK: I`ve wasted so much time of my life.

GRAHAM: She`s nuts. Not that -- to become profound on you, because I don`t want to ruin your show.

BECK: Yes.

GRAHAM: I mean, just avoid profundity at all costs. But "The New York Times" this weekend had an extended article on how adults are all listening to their kids` music.

BECK: Yes.

GRAHAM: I don`t mean kids 13, I mean their kids, 3. They`re listening to kids bop. They`re listening to "Conjunction, junction, what`s your function?"

BECK: Yes.

GRAHAM: And one of the record producers pointed out that America`s 30-year-olds and 40-year-olds have never grown up, and they don`t want to grow up. And we are such a juvenile society. And Britney Spears is the perfect poster child -- person, semi-adult -- for this attempt to avoid reality and avoid adulthood at all costs.

Meanwhile, we have overgrown children following Britney Spears around at the age of 35 and listening to kids bop. Over in Afghanistan and Pakistan, they have 7-year-olds wearing a strap-on C-4 and heading to a bus.

BECK: I know. It`s amazing.

GRAHAM: I wonder who`s going to win this fight, Britney Spears or the bomber?

BECK: Coming up in just a second, we have "The Real Story". We`re going to kind of further this conversation in a while. Here we are at the Christmas season, and you are not going to believe how they are marketing these toys to your children. It will -- it should -- I hope it does -- scare the living bat crap out of you.

Michael, we`ll see you soon up in Worcester for the Christmas show.

GRAHAM: Absolutely.

BECK: Thanks. Michael Graham.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECK: All right. Welcome to "The Real Story."

Yesterday, NBC News decided to start referring to the violence in Iraq as a civil war. They even trotted Matt Lauer out to make the announcement. He said, "NBC News has decided to change its terminology, and it is warranted. The situation in Iraq can now be characterized as a civil war." Well, if Matt Lauer has decided, it must be true.

Last night, I even joined in. I called it a civil war on this very show. Now, today the press is all over the president that he still refuses to call it a civil war, instead saying that Al Qaeda was actually responsible for the rising violence. What, you disagree with Glenn Beck and Matt Lauer? That`s an outrage.

The real story is: It doesn`t matter what any of us call it. Are we really so easily distracted that we actually care whether this is officially called a civil war or a conflict or escalating violence? It`s like the entire country is just like me, riddled with ADD. And every time we see something shiny over here, we go, "whoop," and lose focus and forget that the whole idea is to win this war.

It`s exactly the same road that we`ve already been down with the war on terror. Remember this? They debated in Washington -- actually debated -- whether they should call it from the war on radical Islam, to the war on militant Islam, the war on Islamic extremism. Hey, I know. How about the war on Islamofascism? Come on. I don`t care. You can call it the war on stale sponge cake if you want. Just win the damn thing.

This country has got to wake up and understand this is the thing you should be pulling this week. Have you noticed the less resolve we show the stronger the insurgency gets? Hello? The more we debate and wordsmith, the more the enemy plots and plans and gains confidence. By our actions and our words, words that we broadcast right to our enemies daily, they believe they`re winning.

But losing is not an option. That is the lesson we should have learned in the war in Vietnam or, well, it wasn`t really -- it was more of a conflict, wasn`t it? Or was it a police -- never mind. You know what I mean.

Now, next, the holiday shopping is in full swing. I`m sure by now you have seen the video of people lined up outside of the stores rushing in like a bunch of cattle just to buy discount stuff. The day after Thanksgiving, with all of the shopping mayhem, is actually called Black Friday. That`s because historically this is the day that retailers finally made a profit or "entered the black" for the year.

This year, despite the media focusing on Wal-Mart sales being off by .1 percent, the season`s off to an amazing start. People spent an average of 19 percent more than last year. That`s kind of important to the health of a lot of industries but none, perhaps, more so than the toy retailers. They count on this season for 50 percent of their sales for the entire year.

But the real story is how those toy retailers drive their holiday sales, man. To keep those machines turning, marketers spent $1.4 billion just on advertising to your children. That, by the way, is a monthly figure, $1.4 billion a month, over $16 billion a year just to try and influence what your kids ask you to buy them.

Now, I`m no toy industry executive, but I am a thinker. And if I wanted to sell more toys this time of year, I`d probably start shifting some of my advertising dollars from, let`s say, "The Golden Girls" over to the Cartoon Network. That`s exactly what happens.

In fact, real toy industry executives call these weeks leading up to Christmas "the hard eight," because prices for commercials on children`s programming jump up to record highs. When I first started doing television -- what was it, like, six months ago -- I got a primer on how the ratings work, and I was shocked to find out that they use a number in this industry called "two-plus."

What it does or what it means is it measures how many viewers aged two years and older your show has, two, age two. We`re measuring the viewing habits of two-year-olds. And you know why? It`s because the industry knows that kids, even as young as two, can actually influence what their parents buy for them. In fact, some say that children under the age of 14 influence as much as $160 billion in holiday spending, $160 billion.

By the way, it creates a lot of greed in a lot of people, and that`s why it`s up to us as parents, you and me, to make sure that that greed doesn`t translate into full-fledged exploitation.

Gary Ruskin, he is the founder of Commercial Alert, a group that tries to prevent marketers from taking advantage of children. What is the worst thing that you have seen?

GARY RUSKIN, EXEC. DIRECTOR, COMMERCIAL ALERT: Well, there are just so many. Probably the worst thing that I`ve seen is how companies actually compel children while they`re in school to watch and listen to advertising. There`s a company called ChannelOne that forces seven million kids each school day to watch and listen to ads. And there`s another company called Bus Radio that plays eight minutes of ads on school buses while kids are going to and from school in 11 states.

BECK: OK, now, Gary, what is the difference between, let`s say, commercial radio that has been played on school buses for years and Bus Radio? Why is one worse than the other?

RUSKIN: Well, certainly, some kids are listening to commercial radio. What`s different about bus radio is the amount of ads that are directly targeted the kids. As you know, most commercial radio doesn`t target kids with ads, but Bus Radio has ads that absolutely targeted right at kids, kids as young as elementary school kids. We`re talking about 5-year-old kids, 6-year-old kids.

BECK: OK. Product placement is now becoming a big deal. Did we do a real story, or we`ve one coming up on product placement and the way it`s being hatched now at NBC, that television is about to change. How is that being handled with children?

RUSKIN: Well, increasingly, both in movies and TV, we`re having product placement that targets our very youngest kids, and there`s cross- licensing deals with products that kids are very familiar with. I mean, the most amazing example, I think, was how Teletubbies did cross-licensing deals with both Burger King and McDonald`s. And so we had a program that was designed for kids, two years old, one year old, teaching kids to nag and whine their parents to go to Burger King and McDonald`s to get junk food.

BECK: I`m doing a special hour on the radio program tomorrow about this. We`re going into some of the details. One of them is Wal-Mart. They`ve got this amazing Web site -- have you seen this -- where you click on the little elf. And if you click on a toy, the little elf starts to say "yay," and there`s applause, and then they send a note, right, to your parents? Is that how it works?

RUSKIN: Yes, that`s basically exactly how it works. I mean, when you click on the little elf and like the toy, then, you know, there`s applause that goes up. And basically it`s just -- this is a strategy by Wal-Mart to get kids to nag and whine and throw tantrums -- you know, create tension and strife and stress and misery in homes across the country in millions of homes. I mean, this is a company that has no respect for American parents.

BECK: So what is the difference, though, between this, what`s going on now, and me screaming for Froot Loops when I was a kid?

RUSKIN: Well, the difference is that 30 years ago we had some advertising to children, but what was a trickle back then is now a flood. And parents are simply inundated in this culture that`s trying to shake them down every time that they turn their head, and it`s absolutely wrong.

You know, we ought to have a culture that supports parents. Being a parent is a really hard thing to do. And instead, we have a culture where, you know, companies like, you know, Wal-Mart and Fisher-Price are just trying to shakedown parents, and it`s just wrong. And so we need to, you know, change that.

BECK: Great. Gary, thanks a lot. That is the "Real Story" tonight. If you`d like to read more about this or if you`ve found a real story of your own you`d like to tell us about, please visit glennbeck.com and click on the "Real Story" button.

And don`t forget. Our Christmas comedy stage tour kicks off this weekend. We have two sold-out shows in Salt Lake City. Then it`s on to Denver, and Omaha, Akron, Worcester, Toledo, Oklahoma City, and many others. If you want a great night out that is family-friendly, lots of laughs, then please go to glennbeck.com, and see the full schedule, and reserve your seats now before they`re gone in every single city. Back in a minute.

(NEWSBREAK)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: So I get in the car today, and I was following -- you know, I`m following the news on the Drudge Report, but, you know, really not clicking on the majority of the stories like, huh, the Middle East is on fire. Another 400,000 dead found in shallow graves. Hey, honey, can we heat up some more turkey?

Anybody have those frustrating conversations? I just shut down. You know, people who start -- "Hey, you know that you say things are connected, and I just don`t think they are." Yep, yep. More turkey, anybody?

That`s just the way you have to do it. Did anybody else do that this weekend? You know, everybody at the table, you want to say to them, "Hey, by the way, you`re about to burst into flames," but instead it comes out, "Could you pass the stuffing?"

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: There are guys that they think they`re funny, like me, and then there are guys who are actually funny, like me. And my next guest -- actually, a huge, huge fan of Jim Gaffigan. Welcome to the program, sir.

JIM GAFFIGAN, COMEDIAN: Thanks for having me.

BECK: And this is your second appearance.

GAFFIGAN: I`m a "friend of the show."

BECK: You are slumming it.

GAFFIGAN: I`m a friend.

BECK: And you`re actually starting a new show on TBS, situation comedy. What`s the name of it?

GAFFIGAN: It`s called "My Boys."

BECK: And it is?

GAFFIGAN: It`s an ensemble comedy about a woman who`s a sportswriter and the five men in her life. And I play her very handsome, attractive, model brother.

BECK: Right. So now let me look you in the eye, because, now, if my fans could have done this to me, they would have known, when I said, "Hey, you should tune into my show, because it`s really good." They would have looked me right in the eye and went, "No." Now, I`m a fan of yours.

GAFFIGAN: Right.

BECK: Look me in the eye. Show good? You proud of it?

GAFFIGAN: The show is good. Well, you know the thing that`s so different...

BECK: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

GAFFIGAN: Great. Now, we`re all part of the Turner family. I`m not getting you a Christmas gift now.

(LAUGHTER)

No, the thing is, it`s like -- you know, when people ask me that question, I don`t ever want to be put in a position, even if I do like something or if I don`t like something, I always go, "Read the reviews." I mean, "My Boys" is getting fantastic reviews. And it`s also then I can be like the fake modest guy that I am.

BECK: So you have a clip. What`s the clip?

GAFFIGAN: This is a clip of -- I play the brother who`s married and kind of on a relatively short leash. I get kind of a lost weekend where I get to go out with the gang that are mostly single people, and I kind of tend to overdo it. We go to a Mexican restaurant.

BECK: OK, here it is.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GAFFIGAN: Happy (INAUDIBLE)

(CROSSTALK)

GAFFIGAN: Una mas.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I can`t. I can`t. I`ve got a double-header tomorrow.

GAFFIGAN: Well, then you should be drinking twice as much.

(CROSSTALK)

GAFFIGAN: Come on, people.

(CROSSTALK)

GAFFIGAN: ... going to let me out of the cage? One more drink.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I can`t, Andy.

GAFFIGAN: Una mas!

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No mas.

GAFFIGAN: Por favor? Por favor?

(CROSSTALK)

GAFFIGAN: Yes! Put them up!

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: She plays a hot chick that has no game with guys, right?

GAFFIGAN: Well, she plays a complex -- she`s obviously very attractive.

BECK: Right.

GAFFIGAN: It`s not like one of those things where it`s, you know, a supermodel that can`t find guys that are interested.

BECK: Sure.

GAFFIGAN: There are men that are interested, but she`s kind of a complex woman who`s a bit of a tomboy and kind of identifies a lot with men.

BECK: Here`s where I`m going. She hangs out with the guys.

GAFFIGAN: Right.

BECK: And they`re all friends. I believe guys cannot be friends with women. It doesn`t matter, because at some point they`re going to need comforting, and you can be there for that.

GAFFIGAN: Hey, I`m as big of a scumbag as you, but I do think that -- I do think that you can be friends with women.

BECK: Really?

GAFFIGAN: Yes. I mean, you know, there might be some -- well, I think that some of it is -- I think men are pretty kind of basic, kind of like, "Attractive woman? Me want."

BECK: Right.

GAFFIGAN: But I do think that like once we, you know, get beyond the superficiality and we see the individual and the crush wears off...

BECK: Sure.

GAFFIGAN: ... there can definitely be a friendship there.

BECK: Right. Sure. And if there needs to be a comforting at some point, you`re there.

GAFFIGAN: Yes, I`m not talking about me meeting Angelina Jolie wanting to be her friend. I`m talking about, you know...

BECK: But you`re willing to.

GAFFIGAN: The women you work with on the sound stage, I`m sure you`re friends with them.

BECK: Yes.

(CROSSTALK)

GAFFIGAN: ... shy, Midwestern Glenn Beck. "I don`t know what you`re talking about."

BECK: OK, so you`re going also on a comedy tour.

GAFFIGAN: Big comedy tour starting in January 19th in Baltimore at the Lyric Opera House. My aunt, Katie, is going to be there.

BECK: Hi, Aunt Katie.

GAFFIGAN: She`s a huge fan of yours, Glenn.

BECK: She`s nuts then.

GAFFIGAN: She`s not nuts. She`s the number-one aunt in the world.

BECK: Really?

GAFFIGAN: She`s amazing.

BECK: And completely sane?

GAFFIGAN: No, she`s very sane.

BECK: Really? But a fan of this show?

GAFFIGAN: She watches it every night.

BECK: Makes no sense.

GAFFIGAN: A lot of people watch this show. They love it. Take that in, fellow. We love you.

BECK: Thank you. If you`ve never seen Jim Gaffigan on stage, you have to. I`ve seen him a couple of times on stage, would pay anything to see him again. He`s really, really funny, and he`s paying me currently to say that. And when does the show debut?

GAFFIGAN: The show debuts the 28th, which...

BECK: If I had my calendar, that would be...

GAFFIGAN: That would be tonight.

BECK: Wow, that would be great.

GAFFIGAN: At 10:00 Eastern, 9:00 Central.

BECK: TBS.

GAFFIGAN: TBS.

BECK: Thank you, sir.

GAFFIGAN: Thanks, buddy.

BECK: Bye-bye, Jim Gaffigan.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECK: All right. Let`s gets right to the e-mails.

First one comes in, "Glenn, saw you on `Good Morning America` with Diane Sawyer today. My review is, is you made good points, but you looked like you haven`t slept since Black Friday. Am I right?"

No, Terrance, you`re not right. I slept for three hours on Saturday and I believe 23 minutes last night. But I`m glad you at least listened to a bit of what I actually had to say. Here is a clip.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: If we don`t act now, we`re going to repeat the exact mistakes that we made in 1938.

DIANE SAWYER, HOST, "GOOD MORNING AMERICA": But act, all of us collectively, to...

BECK: To crush the enemy that is...

SAWYER: Crush how? Crush how?

BECK: I think you need to go in and -- for instance, al-Sadr. Why that man is still walking among us is beyond me. It was through our political correctness of trying to be peacemakers -- and I understand that, and that`s great -- but if the man was hiding out in a mosque, you`ve got to kill him in a mosque. And I know that`s politically incorrect, but you`ve got to target the enemy and call him by name.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECK: Honestly, our resolve to be unrelenting on people like al-Sadr is just part of it. The other part is the majority of Muslims that aren`t extremists. They need to stand up, unequivocally, speak out loudly and fight by our side to help us find these people, who, by the way, are killing other Muslims at a far greater rate than they`re killing Americans.

Ed writes in on this one -- and this is sure to wake up the censors in the control room -- "Glenn, why is the n-word any different than the p- word, or the k-word, or the w-word, or the s-word, or the g-word, et cetera? Tell me what is the difference. Why is the n-word so special? I`m a Polish-American, and I`ve been called "Polack" many times. I tell a lot of Polish jokes. None of them bothers me. They`re a derogatory slang. Ed, the Polack."

Ed, I don`t even know what I can say and what could even be on the screen from that e-mail, quite honestly. Great question, and it`s going to receive one really crappy answer: because it does. I`m your father, and it does. That`s about it.

It`s a horrible word. That`s it. You know, I don`t think anybody should want to use it in any context. Black leaders like Al Sharpton has said on this program he agrees. That`s the solution. Don`t use the n- word, or the c-word, or anything that starts with a letter and ends with "word." Then the world will live in harmony, and we`ll all spend time, you know, together, holding hands, waiting for the Earth to be destroyed by a giant asteroid.

By the way, on Friday, special guest for the full hour, Dan Rather. E-mail your questions.

END