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Joy Behar Page
Obama Administration Takes on Right-Wingers; Interview With Garry Shandling
Aired October 21, 2009 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
JOY BEHAR, HOST: Tonight, President Obama and the Republicans may be reaching common ground for the common good trying to count the Beck, Rush and the right wing crazies.
Then, I`ll talk to Susie Essman, a comedian, actress and author of the new book, "What Would Susie Say." She`ll be here to discuss among other things: how to tell if your husband is gay.
And in the studio, another very funny man and they are always fabulous, Garry Shandling. All that and more, right now.
It looks like the Obama administration is taking no prisoners. They are going after Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, Wall Street and even the United States Chamber of Commerce. Is this a smart move or merely feeding the media frenzy?
Here with me now is Peter Sagal, host of NPR "Wait, Wait? Don`t Tell Me." Nia-Malika Henderson, White House reporter for Politico and Ari Melber, correspondent for "The Nation" magazine. Welcome to the show, everybody.
PETER SAGAL, HOST, NPR`S, "WAIT, WAIT? DON`T TELL ME!": It`s great to be here.
NIA-MALIKA HENDERSON, WHITE HOUSE REPORTER, POLITICO: It`s good to be here.
BEHAR: Nia let me start with you. Politico ran the first of a two- part series today and it talks about the White House`s attack on the right. What is their strategy at the White House?
HENDERSON: Well, this is a strategy they decided on in August. After a pretty rough summer that they had where Sarah Palin was essentially able to kind of define the health care strategy from using Facebook.
So they essentially decided to get tough on the opposition. It`s very much kind of a continuation of the 2008 campaign where they`re going after Rush Limbaugh and they`re going after Glenn Beck. And really what they`re trying to do is marginalize folks who are -- who are the opposition. And in that way, I mean, the real kind of strategy is really looking to 2010 and 2012.
You know, in kind of marginalizing Rush Limbaugh, they might inflate his ratings or in marginalizing Glenn Beck, they might get more viewers to Fox. But what they ultimately do, at least is their hope, is that they`ll damage the Republican brand with the American people.
BEHAR: Aha, but only 21 percent of Americans identify themselves as Republican -- Republicans. Isn`t this overkill in a way?
HENDERSON: Well, some people certainly see it that way. And you heard, today, for instance, Lamar Alexander on the Senate floor was saying this is reminiscent of the enemy`s list that of course, Nixon had that...
BEHAR: That`s right.
HENDERSON: ...that started with 20 people and it grew to like something like 30,000 people by the time it was over.
So some people are making that argument.
BEHAR: Well, you -- go ahead, yes, we can air that. Let`s show Republican Senator Lamar Alexander who worked in the Nixon administration, he had some advice for Obama. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SEN. LAMAR ALEXANDER, (R) TENNESSEE: I want to make what I hope will be a friendly suggestion to President Obama and his White House. And it is this. Don`t create an enemy`s list.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Doesn`t everybody have an enemy`s list?
SAGAL: I do.
BEHAR: Every administration...
HENDERSON: Yes.
BEHAR: The Nixon administration is notorious for it. But I`m sure Clinton had one. Everyone`s got one, right?
SAGAL: Yes.
BEHAR: Go ahead Peter.
SAGAL: Yes, well, first of all, I always find it -- no offense to Mr. Alexander but I find it hard to take seriously advice from a man whose first name sounds like a Spanish verb.
BEHAR: Lamar.
SAGAL: Lamar.
BEHAR: Lamar, it sounds good, yes.
SAGAL: Remember when he ran for president, his campaign slogan was Lamar with an exclamation point.
BEHAR: Lamar.
SAGAL: It sounded like an order. Everybody, Lamar. I`m sorry this is beside the point.
BEHAR: For example on "Dancing with a Star."
ARI MELBER, CORRESPONDENT, THE NATION: This is exactly the point.
SAGAL: I know...
MELBER: Take it away.
SAGAL: The point is...
BEHAR: Yes.
SAGAL: That we forget Nixon didn`t just have an enemy`s list...
BEHAR: Yes.
SAGAL: Nixon used the machinery of the government, the IRS, the FBI...
BEHAR: That`s right.
SAGAL: ...a hired band of criminals and thieves to actually attack physically sometimes his enemies.
BEHAR: Yes. But let me tell you some of the people on his list. Edward Kennedy -- this was Nixon`s list...
SAGAL: Nixon yes.
BEHAR: George McGovern, Sargent Shriver, Birch Bay.
SAGAL: Birch Bay, Birch Bay.
BEHAR: The Black Panthers, Paul Newman, Barbra Streisand...
SAGAL: Paul Newman?
HENDERSON: Bill Cosby was on there. Joe Namath, yes.
BEHAR: Wait a minute, Carol Channing?
HENDERSON: That`s right.
BEHAR: Come on, hello Dolly, hello Lamar...
SAGAL: At this point we go from fear and anger to pity. Anybody who`s enemy is Carol Channing...
BEHAR: I mean it`s weird, isn`t it?
SAGAL: I know.
BEHAR: But you know the enemy`s list, by the way, Nixon`s enemy`s list did backfire on Nixon. Is this going to backfire on Obama?
SAGAL: Well, as I said, it wasn`t his enemy`s list per se, it was the fact that he sent a group of criminals to break into their offices or steal, or their psychiatrist`s offices.
BEHAR: We`ll deal with that.
SAGAL: Yes, that`s a distinction...
HENDERSON: Yes, that`s a distinction in using the federal government to essentially target folks. And that`s certainly not what anybody thinks that the Obama administration is doing.
But I think the danger here is a kind of slippery slope argument. And also that are you kind of sullying the image of the White House by taking on Glenn Beck. Who, I don`t know how many viewers he gets, but I guess the larger question is how many people actually believe what he`s saying. And essentially, isn`t it just entertainment what Glenn Beck does and Rush Limbaugh?
BEHAR: What do you think Ari?
MELBER: I mean, I think this is working for the White House because they are publicly calling these people out. It`s not a secret enemy`s list. In the case of Fox, they`re driving a wedge between some of the most irresponsible and hateful people on that channel and the others. Greta Van Susteren came out and said, "Hey, I`m not like these guys, my show is different."
BEHAR: Turning. Turning.
MELBER: But what could validate...
BEHAR: I love it.
MELBER: But what could validate the White House message more...
BEHAR: Yes.
MELBER: Than having someone inside Fox, to say I`m not like those other guys. That fits to the fact that Fox has been irresponsible.
BEHAR: Yes.
MELBER: And has been a political opponent and they are being treated like one.
BEHAR: So do you think that MSNBC will be calling Greta Van Susteren?
SAGAL: To lure her back to the poll?
BEHAR: Yes.
MELBER: I don`t know if I can handicap that. But I mean, you have that piece and then also people have to remember President Obama was under fire from his base over Afghanistan and how far he was going on health care.
BEHAR: Yes.
MELBER: This is a win there because he gets to go on offense without doing anything on policy. He`s just taking out these different people, going after the chamber and giving that fight that people we`re missing in August.
So it`s smart politics for his base.
BEHAR: Right.
MELBER: And it`s public. Again, it`s not a secret. People can see this fight.
BEHAR: Well, he`s been seen...
MELBER: ...and make up their mind.
BEHAR: ...he`s been seen as wishy-washy and somebody who`s not really taking on the right in any forceful way. So this is the attack going on now.
HENDERSON: These are -- yes, these are easy targets, too. I mean, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh, I`m sure their favorability ratings aren`t too high. But it`s kind of an easy thing for him to do.
BEHAR: Yes.
MELBER: I disagree. I don`t think they are easy targets.
I think these are very powerful people in our discourse Glenn Beck has targeted people and in short order gotten them removed from the administration.
Sean Hannity has spotlighted certain protest movements like the TEA party guys but then it`s completely ignored what else is going on in the world. You won`t see Fox -- I challenge anyone at Fox -- to show us coverage of larger anti-war rallies and gay rights rallies and other grass roots movements, they don`t cover it.
BEHAR: They don`t cover it.
HENDERSON: But I think the question is, can Rush Limbaugh turn people out to the polls? Can Glenn Beck drive folks to the polls? I mean, I think that`s still an open -- an open question.
I mean, you saw David Brooks do a column early on in the New York Times that essentially said, "Yes, these people have huge megaphones and huge platforms, but in terms of really driving policy or even driving people to the polls, they`re not really able to do that."
BEHAR: Let`s listen to what Dana Perino says, George W.`s former Press Secretary. She said, "They won, why don`t they act like it. The more they fight, the more defensive they look. It`s only been ten months and they are burning bridges in a lot of different places."
SAGAL: Well, I mean, to me that`s a little (INAUDIBLE), I mean, I know Dana, she`s a lovely woman. But she herself got up in the podium and said disparity things about MSNBC.
And if you remember, the Bush White House used to send out these press releases blasting the coverage from "The New York Times." Further, all presidential administrations attack the press. I`ve talked to a reporter the other day...
BEHAR: But is it a good strategy, really? I mean, didn`t Bush look really bad when he sent Helen Thomas to the back of the room? That was bad.
SAGAL: Bad to whom? I mean, this maybe one of his issues in which the average person in America could care less but it`s been going on forever. This reporter told me that he once got a phone call from the Clinton White House, and then Clinton himself screaming at him for his coverage.
MELBER: But it happens all the time.
BEHAR: Yes.
MELBER: But Helen Thomas was asking hard questions about our foreign policy. Glenn Beck is asking stupid questions about birth certificates. So there`s a difference in whether we`re talking about icing out, people doing real journalism or people who are just screaming at the president and stoking in Glenn Beck`s case again, racial hatred which is wrong.
BEHAR: Do you think that there is nobody on Fox that he could talk to? Like I always point to Chris Wallace`s show; I`ve thought Chris Wallace is really, he`s fairly balanced himself. His panel is somewhat balanced. He has Juan Williams as well as the heinous Bill Crystal, but...
SAGAL: I didn`t realize, is that his first name?
BEHAR: No, it`s Lamar Crystal.
Speak to me, Nia, go ahead.
HENDERSON: Yes, even Major Garrett, who`s in the White House Press Corps, I mean, he`s a straight up guy. And he does straight up reporting, but I think -- and that`s the danger here. I mean, if you`re equating that you know, all of Fox News with Glenn Beck, I mean it`s certainly not the case.
And as your other guests said, it looks like folks are trying to distance themselves from other people on Fox News. But also what I think is smart maybe about this strategy is that you are seeing Republicans also start to distance themselves.
MELBER: Correct.
BEHAR: Yes.
HENDERSON: You have Lindsey Graham come out and essentially say you know something that Beck is a clown.
BEHAR: That`s the key to the whole story.
HENDERSON: Yes.
BEHAR: Right there.
MELBER: And that`s the part of this that I think is good for our debates. Separate from whether it`s good for the Obama administration and even if you don`t like Obama Administration.
BEHAR: Yes.
MELBER: The quarantining of these toxic conservative fringe voices is good. Because I guarantee you the Republicans will do better if we hear more about Olympia Snowe...
BEHAR: Yes.
MELBER: ...and more about even Lindsey Graham who`s not with the president on health care but I think is a much more reasonable voice than these folks who have no constituency, they only have millionaire budgets to offend all of us.
BEHAR: I love the way you use the word quarantine like they all have swine flu. We are not talking to them.
MELBER: It`s worst influenza.
BEHAR: Yes.
SAGAL: I don`t think they`re actually either A, conservatives or B, Republicans...
BEHAR: What are they?
SAGAL: I think they`re conspiracy theorists in the grand tradition of conspiracy theorists. A conspiracy theorist whether they are picking on the Jews or masons or aliens from space or lizards from space, believe there`s somebody out there who`s against your interests and only I know the truth.
In this case, it`s progressives. They used to work on making liberal a bad word, so liberals started calling themselves progressives. Now, they are going after progressives.
Glenn Beck had this amazing thing there today where he equated progressives with tyranny and slavery 200 years ago. It`s as if he`s our weapon against these people.
BEHAR: Well, he just twists everything around, you know. I mean that is his way of doing it. But he has a huge audience.
SAGAL: Does he?
BEHAR: Yes, he does. And he makes millions. We don`t know his numbers exactly but they`re pretty good.
SAGAL: Are they 2, are they 3, are they 4 million?
MELBER: He has one of the highest rated television shows in an early hour -- earlier than the prime time shows. He has a radio show that`s reaching more and then he`s go...
BEHAR: And Limbaugh`s got...
MELBER: He`s got books that are on the bestseller list.
BEHAR: He`s got books and Limbaugh`s got all those ditto heads. There`s a lot of people out there.
Thanks very much. Thank you to my panel.
Up next, Susie Essman explains how you can tell whether your husband is gay or not. It should be interesting.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I know you took the doll`s head, where is it? Where`s the (BLEEP) head?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I don`t know.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The kid is home hysterical because her doll, Judy has been decapitated because you two sickos took the head for God knows what reason.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That is the very hilarious Susie Essman in "Curb Your Enthusiasm". And actress who accepts the fact that she may end up a fat, bald, sweaty, irritable woman with a dry vagina and a full beard. That`s just one of the insights in her new book.
"What Would Susie Say?" That`s her new book, "BS wisdom about love, life and comedy." One of my best friends, Susie Essman, joins me. I have to say that you`re one of my best friends because I have other best friends.
SUSIE ESSMAN, COMEDIAN: I know, I have to say that, too, one, otherwise they call. You know what we do, we say best friend in the business.
BEHAR: That`s right. In the business.
ESSMAN: Right.
BEHAR: Exactly.
ESSMAN: My friend Lisa already called me that I said in the book that you were my best friend. And she`s my best friend.
BEHAR: You know what? Too bad about Lisa.
ESSMAN: Exactly.
BEHAR: I was reading in the book about the comedy days that we went through together in the `80s. You actually used this term, it was quite a romantic time. I don`t see it that way. I saw it as a very, very trying time.
ESSMAN: It was both. It was both. But don`t you -- there was a romance to it. It was hot in those days, in the mid-80s. People were lined up around the block. There was a buzz in every comedy club. We worked until 4:00 in the morning and then go to the diner. There was a romance to it.
(CROSS TALK)
BEHAR: I remember when Chris Rock used to go on stage.
ESSMAN: He was always scared when you and I were in the audience.
He was scared of the police.
BEHAR: Why because He would do like date rape jokes.
ESSMAN: Yes, something like that and we would always -- now one time, we meet one time and do a joke and then he`d stop and said, "Wait a minute, I have to see if Behar is in the room. I can`t do this joke if Behar is in the room.
BEHAR: Yes, I don`t know. He`s scared of me.
Let`s talk about some of the other things that were going on at that time. You were having a very hard time. We`ll get to the funny part in a minute.
The tragic part in the book, it broke my heart at some point because I didn`t know that you were so suicidal.
ESSMAN: That was actually before I met you. I perked up once I met you.
BEHAR: Must have been the drugs I gave you.
ESSMAN: I met you in 1984. It was pre doing stand-up. I was so lost and so in such deep, deep despair, not knowing who I was and what I wanted to do. I knew that there was this person I wanted to be and I had no idea how to get there. I was early 20s.
It`s a very difficult time for people.
BEHAR: You had a miserable boyfriend.
ESSMAN: I had a miserable boyfriend.
BEHAR: What was the matter with him? Being a narcissist like your father?
ESSMAN: In a word, yes. You know what? He was having his own struggles at the time. It wasn`t so much him, it was us together.
BEHAR: Yes, but you talk about a scene where he and your father are talking about you.
ESSMAN: Yes, they talked about me.
BEHAR: Tell me about that.
ESSMAN: I was in a play, and they`re in the living room and they`re talking about me as though I wasn`t there, which is always a pleasure when people talk about you and you`re sitting right there as though you don`t exist. And they were talking about how bad I was as an actress in the play in front of me.
Yes, she wasn`t very good. No, no, she wasn`t very -- really? Thank you. No wonder I feel so confident and just ready to get out there and go get them.
BEHAR: And yet you now do this character on "Curb" which is so empowered and the women just love it, don`t they. The young girls like it.
ESSMAN: You know, women were telling me last night -- I did a book signing last night -- that they come up to me and they say Susie Green (ph) is my idol. And I just find that so hilarious.
This screaming, yelling shrew...
BEHAR: Why do you think?
ESSMAN: Because I think she`s comfortable with her anger. I think that she -- now, you know me very well. Susie Green is all reactive.
You know I`m very analytical. I`m very different from her which people don`t always understand.
BEHAR: You are completely not like here at all, once in awhile.
ESSMAN: Don`t push me. Don`t push me. I could go Susie Green on you.
BEHAR: Yes, you could.
ESSMAN: Susie Green is like she`s just all gut response. You say something to her she responds. She has her rules that she lives by. She doesn`t think about anything and she`s totally secure in herself. She`s totally secure that everything she thinks and says is absolutely correct which is why she can dress that way.
BEHAR: She does do Boca Raton in the outfits.
ESSMAN: She dresses like Brighton Beach, you know. The Russian Ladies in Brighton Beach, she dresses, because she`s so secure, that her taste is impeccable.
BEHAR: Yes.
ESSMAN: She thinks Sheryl has this horrible taste.
BEHAR: And Sheryl actually looks very classy.
ESSMAN: Dresses beautifully, yes, exactly.
So it`s the complete security.
BEHAR: Who did you base her on?
ESSMAN: A myriad, you. I`m kidding. I`m kidding. A combination of people but I basically just made her up. I just kind of made her up but I always thought, you know when you were growing up and there were those girls that were so secure. I was so insecure. I kind of based her on those girls that were just completely sure of themselves and secure.
BEHAR: Yes, but they were stupid.
ESSMAN: She`s not the brightest. Susie Green is not -- she`s no intellectual.
BEHAR: All right. Back to the suicide attempts.
ESSMAN: Yes.
BEHAR: This quote, I can`t get over this. You said, "That night, I took every pill in my medicine cabinet from aspirin to valium to tums.
ESSMAN: I don`t want to have an upset stomach and also be dead.
BEHAR: And then laid down on my sofa, hoping to die.
ESSMAN: Yes. I did that more than once actually. I did it twice. But you don`t want to be redundant in the book. You want of course to get up and move it along.
BEHAR: I know, one suicide is enough.
(CROSS TALK)
ESSMAN: Once is enough. I don`t want people to feel sorry for me.
BEHAR: Tell me about how you got out of that.
ESSMAN: I remember the feeling and it was not, you know, some people say suicide is a hostile act because it`s hostile to people who love you. It is, in a sense. I remember just feeling such depths of pain and despair I just wanted it to be over. Every morning, I would wake up and it would be there. This feeling of...
BEHAR: The black hole.
ESSMAN: The black hole of self-loathing and just despair and it wouldn`t go away all day long. It would be there the day after. It would be there for weeks and weeks.
William (INAUDIBLE) actually describes it beautifully in his book, "Dark is Visible" about the darkness of depression. It`s not like having a bad day. It`s a completely different level. And I was in a deep -- we didn`t have Prozac then and all that stuff.
BEHAR: There was no medication really that would help.
ESSMAN: There were those MAO inhibitors which were really strong. Lithium and Librium and those really strong ones and I don`t know how I got out of it except that I think it was stand-up that saved my life.
BEHAR: I want to talk about that in the next segment.
Don`t go away, we`ll be right back with Susie.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ESSMAN: I have to apologize, I have a soar throat. Jerry knows why, I know why, I know why. Enough said.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: I remember that show. Poor Jerry Stiller didn`t know what hit him in that show.
ESSMAN: He`s such a sweet man. But the amazing thing is how straight my hair was in that clip.
BEHAR: I know but they can blow it out. Which do you like?
ESSMAN: I have come to terms with the curliness. You and I have always said, if we didn`t have curly hair, we don`t know if we would have been funny.
BEHAR: I think that`s true. You need to have something that makes you miserable.
ESSMAN: You felt like the outsider.
BEHAR: Yes, that`s true.
Now, the Rose is really where Larry found you, right?
ESSMAN: Larry used to write on your show in 1987 on Lifetime. We knew Larry from stand-up years which is a whole segment we could do another day. He was very funny on the show by the way.
He saw me on the Rose -- he was casting the part of Jeff`s wife who he wanted to have a certain facility with language in the character. He saw me on the Rose and he called me up gave me the part.
The interesting thing about that is, I almost wasn`t on the rose because comedy, the Friars Club, which I has made my bones at the Friars Club with all their events with all those...
BEHAR: It`s not easy.
ESSMAN: Not easy.
BEHAR: Because you`re really dealing with some very heavy duty comics over there. And they don`t really love women.
ESSMAN: Legends.
BEHAR: Legendary, of course they were all drooling, but still...
ESSMAN: They were still legends -- Alan King, whatever. So, anyway, the Friars Club fought for me to be on the Rose. Comedy Central did not want me on the Rose because I was not their demographic.
BEHAR: Who was their demographic?
ESSMAN: Who knows?
BEHAR: Somebody who`s not funny.
ESSMAN: A 12-year-old boy, I don`t know who their demographic is. And the Friars Club fought for me to be on the Rose. And to me that was all about how -- both of us -- how we did our careers for many years. Which is just -- you keep showing up. Everybody was knocking us down and knocking us down, but you just keep showing up and showing up and doing good work and doing good work.
BEHAR: That is the key.
ESSMAN: And sooner or later...
BEHAR: And that took you out of your depression? Stand up?
ESSMAN: Yes. But that was already 2 years before that.
BEHAR: But still, you had a lot of therapy. So let`s not pretend that didn`t help a lot.
ESSMAN: No, the analysis...
BEHAR: Yes. Both of us have been in a lot of therapy.
And their life opened up for you after years of having difficulties and then you got married recently at the advanced age of...
ESSMAN: 53.
BEHAR: Oh, you`re saying it. Ok.
ESSMAN: 53. That was the whole thing. I have a whole chapter about that in the book. When they wanted to put the wedding announcement in "The New York Times" they said they`re going to have to say your age. I thought about it for a little while and I was like, "You know what? The hell with it, put my age. I don`t give a damn anymore."
And then it became incredibly liberating because it said -- in "The Times" it said -- the bride, 53 is keeping her name. In every story "People" magazine, they all picked it up and they all said Essman, 53. Why was that relevant to the story, I would like to know.
BEHAR: Because "People" magazine is like that.
Now before you go because I promoted this, you must tell people how they know that their husband is gay.
ESSMAN: I have a chapter called, "Gay, Not Gay, Should Be Gay."
BEHAR: Just give us the top three...
ESSMAN: He owns five cats and they`re all named after characters in Barbara Stanwyck movies. He spends an inordinate amount of time worried about pillow shams. He rolls his eyes and says "whatever" on at least three occasion occasions.
BEHAR: What about the pictures -- the photos on the...
ESSMAN: That`s the whole thing. In Hollywood they say if a guy has photos of a family facing in, he`s straight. If they are facing out, he`s gay. I say if he has pictures of family facing the pictures of Mario Lopez and Brad Pitt then he`s definitely gay.
BEHAR: That`s the tip for the day.
ESSMAN: Exactly.
BEHAR: Thank you.
ESSMAN: That`s it?
BEHAR: That`s it. It goes so fast. The book is called, "What Would Susie Say?" She knows everything.
Up next, Garry Shandling. Stick around. What a night.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Well some of you may not know I had a bit of an acting career before I became a talk Show host. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Look, Garry Shandling. You listen to what I`m telling you now. I want you to lay off my relationship with Leonard. He`s not getting married again. What do you know about relationships you yutz?
Oh, Joy and Joy is such a perfect name for you.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Well that was from the classic `80s sitcom, "The Garry Shandling Show." on show time I believe, right. The entire box set is out on DVD this week by the way. And my guest is the creator and star, actor, comedian, Garry Shandling. Yeehay!
GARRY SHANDLING, ACTOR AND COMEDIAN: Thank you. I can`t believe you had to read that. I mean, you know me.
BEHAR: I know but I like to work with the prompter. I`m like Obama. It`s - it`s you don`t forget stuff, you know.
SHANDLING: Oh man you know, you mean like the Supreme Court Justice who had to swear him in? A screwed it up and go back to the swearing in? Talk about needing a prompter. He would have given about 10 grand just to have Clarence Thomas behind him with a cue card - going I Barack Obama do solemnly swear - he couldn`t get that out. You need a prompter sometimes.
BEHAR: You need a prompter - you know you`re just nervous -
SHANDLING: I`d give anything if there was something behind you with jokes.
BEHAR: You have it in front of you.
SHANDLING: I can`t look at you and then look at the notes.
BEHAR: I was going to have to do that. I`m doing that.
SHANDLING: Well that`s cheating but thank you for mentioning the box set. I thought it was sexist and you couldn`t say that.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: It is.
SHANDLING: I never know what`s sexist anymore. I guess it`s all context.
BEHAR: Yes, it`s all context.
SHANDLING: If you`re selling a box set, it`s okay to say.
BEHAR: Yea it is.
SHANDLING: But if you have a box set, hey - hey where you go there, buddy?
BEHAR: Or just the box. Alright, so -
SHANDLING: Boob tube?
(LAUGHTER)
SHANDLING: Let`s go back
BEHAR: Let`s go back to your Show, "the Garry Shandling Show."
SHANDLING: I don`t remember -
BEHAR: Do you remember the whole - anything about the Show?
SHANDLING: Excuse me, I`m sorry? I got excited, it`s so - first of all I love "Sex in the City," you were just great -- oh, wait, that`s "The View."
BEHAR: The View has no Sex in the City.
SHANDLING: No Sex in the City.
BEHAR: Yea.
SHANDLING: So that was in the 85 to 86 to 90, I think.
BEHAR: Yea it was a long time ago.
SHANDLING: Now I upon - now this is really what happened. Upon gathering outtakes, I`ve never said that phrase and I don`t think anybody does, you don`t gather outtakes it`s a show business term. It`s what we do on Christmas at - in show business, we gather outtakes of -- so we`re looking at the tape for the DVD and there you are, then there`s you on the wing and then there`s you in other episodes and I`m going, I don`t remember Joy -- I never made the connection. So, you have to help me because what is your -- obviously, I`m the guy finally who said I`m the Jeff Bu Kus of my Show.
BEHAR: He`s the head of Time Warner for those of you who don`t know. But there`s more. They have more footage. See I played someone who was dead. Here look straight ahead, Garry. Look straight ahead -- I was dead in this Show.
SHANDLING: You know that`s cool, you have more than one TV.
BEHAR: I was dead on the Show. But you don`t remember. You don`t have to remember. Maybe you had medication at the time. You know it doesn`t come exact for you.
SHANDLING: I had no --
BEHAR: Let`s move on from that Show.
SHANDLING: Can you imagine if I`m like this, on medication, you can add medication to it - what kind of medication.
BEHAR: I don`t know?
SHANDLING: Some kind of medication that, you know, it was bad to take medication back then, and now, there`s 50 kinds of medication advertised on TV.
BEHAR: I know.
SHANDLING: I can`t tell -
BEHAR: I know -- what`s your favorite?
SHANDLING: Well I like the one where the guy has to go to the bathroom and can`t get through the golf game. I`m sad for him
BEHAR: Do you suffer from that?
SHANDLING: No. I don`t know - I`m suffering from something because they - but I can`t then there`s the one where the guy -- they just fore closed and that`s horrible and these guys melting gold sending in jewelry, he`s sad. There`s a lot of sad people that go --. I can`t tell who has had their house foreclosed. Who`s
BEHAR: No but the Viagra commercials are happy. Viva Viagra, they`re very happy though.
SHANDLING: Yea well that`s the - you mean on the Mexican channel?
(LAUGHTER)
SHANDLING: I had been melting gold.
BEHAR: Yes okay. Let me talk to you -
SHANDLING: You have no interest in the melting gold?
BEHAR: No, not really no.
(LAUGHTER)
SHANDLING: I had my eye on your earrings, I`ll be honest with you.
BEHAR: These are not real. So let`s talk about --
SHANDLING: You seem to be in control. I`m impressed.
BEHAR: Let`s talk about your stand up career. Cause I`m interested in that? Are you interested in talking about that?
SHANDLING: Yes. Can you do ten seconds on - do you remember doing the show and what I was like cause you were fantastic. But you were you came back in different kinds of parts.
BEHAR: I found you to be the star of the Show, therefore not available to me cause I was just a peon and a player. So that`s why you don`t remember me cause I was a shy little girl doing an actress.
SHANDLING: My god, things have really changed.
BEHAR: I know. Well I got into stand-up I was doing stand-up at that time. I don`t know about you, but I had to have a near-death experience, a divorce and I got fired from my job in order for me to do stand up. Did you have to have a traumatic event to throw you into stand-up.
SHANDLING: I had a death experience.
BEHAR: Did you?
SHANDLING: It`s true. That is true.
BEHAR: Death or near death? Because they are different.
SHANDLING: One is on stage. Well -- I don`t know that they are different for one thing because you are going to say near death. Without getting into details because I don`t talk about it to many people let alone publicly, and I`m not kidding. You`ll know when I`m kidding.
BEHAR: Okay.
SHANDLING: I was given - I was hit by a car in `77 or something. I was given a choice if I wanted to live - can you be living in this body or not. No joke. I failed to ask what my choices might be.
BEHAR: What do you mean to live in this body? They had another body?
SHANDLING: Well we`re talking about a death experience.
BEHAR: But did you see a light at the end of the tunnel or just in Jersey?
SHANDLING: I`m hesitant. It`s not something -- it`s too intimate to talk about right now. I would rather come back when you do just a show on death experiences. Then I`ll feel like -
BEHAR: Well we could turn this Show into a death experience conversation. Is that enough? No?
SHANDLING: No because you`re going to have someone either before me or after me and that`s not talking about that. And then they`ll go - my god, they talked about death experiences. But I have one and you had one?
BEHAR: I had one, yes.
SHANDLING: Did you see a light?
BEHAR: No, I didn`t see a light but it did put me into stand up because I was like - what`s the difference, I almost died in real life why not just try it -
SHANDLING: Well there`s a similar circumstance with me. I was writing for "Sanford And Son" welcome back Carter when what I would say I was a boy, I was a young man - I was 23 or 24. I moved to L.A. I was writing shows for "Sanford And Son" and I had this car accident. I was lying in the hospital and I thought wait a minute. I best do what I want to do. So, I did start working out in the clubs and I had no idea what I was doing. I thought, well, boy, this stand-up is impossible. I knew there was something about it that was going to teach me about myself. And that is the parallel path I had.
BEHAR: That`s interesting.
SHANDLING: To be yourself, well you have to find yourself because you cannot not be yourself on stage and be really good, in my humble opinion. I think I admire those who are free enough to be themselves, and so, you know, as you know, you are searching out what your rhythm is, what you want to talk about. I think I`m still going through that process. I think it`s a never ending process but I parallel it to real life itself.
BEHAR: And it toughens you up because it`s you know all those people are waiting for you to make them laugh. If don`t do it and they boo you, or they don`t laugh you get on stage or quit.
SHANDLING: Well you know here we are on TV. And some people say, how do you go on TV? Don`t you get nervous? Of course, I do. But it`s nothing compared to what can happen on the third Show in Cleveland at 1:00 a.m. with 20 people. I remember walking up and all 20 were drunk. And I`m not kidding, 18 or so of them, I remember it, I counted them, were heckling. They started to yell at each other. So you know if your crew starts doing that, I can handle it.
BEHAR: Oh, them.
SHANDLING: Bring it on.
BEHAR: Okay. I`m going to take a break. And then we`re going to come back with a lot with Garry Shandling tonight. So don`t go away.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
You have got to be proud. She`s in a coma. I know, it`s all our fault. Joy, if you can hear me, we`re sorry, really sorry. Phoebe and I guess things got all out of hand.
HA we win, we win.
You`re not dying.
Hell no. I`ll dance on your graves. You just gave me a little asthma attack.
We beat Garry Shandling.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
I told you, I don`t want to talk to guests before the show.
It won`t happen again.
I`m involved in a conversation about retooling.
Get out there.
BEHAR: That show is the funniest thing. That`s a scene from one of my favorite shows of all time "the Larry Sanders Show."
SHANDLING: That was the show after this. This is the beginning
BEHAR: This is the one we are selling now, the DVD collection.
SHANDLING: The so called you know and the so I came on to plug the DVD and see you. And 8I realized a lot of people come on the show. I have seen you since the beginning of the show and I want to congratulate you with everyone else. You have gotten great guests. And it`s because of you. No one knew what HLN is. I thought it was the home shopping network. I was hoping to buy something. I expected to be -- you can`t buy those earrings?
BEHAR: No, I`m not selling these earring earrings, no.
SHANDLING: So I`m in the waiting room, trying to get in the right mood for this show. And of course, I was in the waiting room here for HLN, is that what it is?
BEHAR: HLN yes.
SHANDLING: Yea and there the TV is on with the news and it`s just the world is coming to an end. I think it seems pretty -- it seems like Jesus was supposed to come by now, wasn`t he? Jesus was suppose to come --
BEHAR: Yeah, he`s very really late.
SHANDLING: He`s really dragging it on. Although when they arrested Roman Polanski, I thought oh no, he`s wrapping it up. He`s wrapping up those loose ends -- we are very close to the end now.
BEHAR: Well now, what do you think is going on -- this week, we had action on the health care bill. The Baucus bill. What do you think of the health care thing?
SHANDLING: I think, that look, this is what nobody talks about. I think some people need health care. Let`s get that out of the way.
BEHAR: Right.
SHANDLING: That`s not the point. The government needs a business. It`s bankrupt. It`s bankrupt. That`s the truth.
BEHAR: Right.
SHANDLING: You know instead of -- I`d rather them say how do you feel than do you want to buy a car. I mean we got to give them something because we didn`t get the oil out of Iraq. Everybody forgets you have
BEHAR: What happened to the oil?
SHANDLING: Okay here`s what it is. The universe is expanding. Eventually, it`s going to collapse on its own and there is going to be nothing.
BEHAR: When, soon? Because I have a lot of things to do.
SHANDLING: I understand it should be a real estate disclosure. So you got to go back, you know. The problem is way before the mortgage crisis. You know, look, I get my eyes checked at the DMV anyway.
BEHAR: Is that how you check your eyes?
SHANDLING: Yes so -
BEHAR: So you don`t have to go to an ocular.
SHANDLING: It`s the government taking care of you anyway. So they could just do it at the DMV and just add another lines where you go behind those orange cones and cough. They are already checking the eyes - how many more, you know, take the blood pressure right here. That`s where it`s going to be the highest.
BEHAR: Why do you suppose the Democrats are so lame?
SHANDLING: No, let`s get to what the problem is. Then we can go name by name, if you want. I cannot watch Barack Obama is Nancy Pelosi is behind -- she`s in the shot.
BEHAR: She`s always in the shot.
SHANDLING: Here we go - and that`s what she`s playing. I`m in the shot. I`m in the shot. At least Biden pretends to listen.
BEHAR: Yeah.
SHANDLING: So - and speaking as comics, I thought when they yelled hey, you lied, as a professional comedian, I thought his comeback should have been "Are you speaking to Miss Pelosi?" Put it off on someone else. But I don`t think --
BEHAR: But he`s a gentleman. He didn`t respond, really. He just kept going.
SHANDLING: No he has coolness about him. He`s going to stick to the material. We know what that feels like. Make that choice
BEHAR: When you are bombing, you stick to the act.
SHANDLING: It`s a tough crowd. But I think that we were talking about something else and it got me to Obama. By the way, look, every minority is reflected in that administration except one and I think Columbus day week is the time to discuss it. Are you aware, there`s one minority not reflected?
BEHAR: Well Columbus was Italian so Pelosi is Italian.
SHANDLING: There`s no Native American in the administration.
BEHAR: Oh, Native American.
SHANDLING: Wouldn`t you at least think at least chief of staff?
BEHAR: You got me there.
SHANDLING: I mean what have we done? What have we done? Think about it. It`s Rahm Emanuel in there. I think that`s a different tribe.
BEHAR: He`s from the other tribe, the Jewish tribe. So Obama, now he has been slammed for Afghanistan and the Middle East. What about that?
SHANDLING: Well you were talking about the Democrats and Republicans. So how do we have time?
BEHAR: We have time.
SHANDLING: We could clear up everything.
BEHAR: You know you could just make the lead to Afghanistan now.
SHANDLING: Well let me say how they tie in. So the partisanship is - the bipartisanship is nonexistent. I can`t - are we agree about the partisanship and how -
BEHAR: Yes we are.
SHANDLING: I really think Israelis and Palestinians look at the Democrats and Republicans and go oh, my god, they are screwed up. We`ll fix our problems first.
BEHAR: Exactly.
SHANDLING: Look. This guy, in Afghanistan, Karzai, is he corrupt or not is the question. They just had the election. You got to remember something that he said. And this is true. He said it to CNN, which is in this building -
BEHAR: It is?
SHANDLING: And I brought it up 5 years ago. Cause he said it 5 years ago.
BEHAR: What did he say?
SHANDLING: Karzai on CNN camera said, "it`s going so well here in Afghanistan, it`s not going to be long before we have tourism". And he said that. Why would I -- I couldn`t make that up. I don`t know how far down your vacation list Afghanistan is -
BEHAR: Right after Pakistan.
SHANDLING: I haven`t been to Vietnam, yet.
BEHAR: Vietnam is now a tourist attraction. People go there all the time.
SHANDLING: Well no thanks.
BEHAR: No it`s supposed to be beautiful there.
SHANDLING: Well, maybe this time a decade.
BEHAR: Is there -
SHANDLING: But I think it`s a pretty big tip that something is wrong, when you are trying to spin it that hard, you have to get a different guy in there. They are spinning, spinning too hard.
BEHAR: Well I mean, don`t you feel that compared to the Bush Administration, he`s doing pretty well - compared to them? They were so destructive.
SHANDLING: I just think the problem started long before that with American and what`s it`s all about. We lost track and we lost track a long time ago.
BEHAR: But as a comedian, do you miss the Clinton Administration cause that was the best -
SHANDLING: No I don`t miss that.
BEHAR: You don`t miss that?
SHANDLING: I don`t think I miss any administration. I think it`s -- Bush didn`t follow hat simple, simple rule that I grew up with -
BEHAR: Which was?
SHANDLING: Don`t invade more than you can spend.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: I know. He never followed that.
SHANDLING: It`s so easy, but, you know, there`s other things involved. It`s about money. It`s the in god we trust is just a spin.
BEHAR: More with Garry Shandling after this.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
Do you know how fast you were going?
(LAUGHTER)
60
Higher
70, 65, 66, 67 - 67
What do we have for him Bob, here you go.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Okay we`re back be the hilarious Garry Shandling. Garry
SHANDLING: Joy, you`re showing everything I`ve ever done. I feel like I`m getting the Nobel Prize for comedy.
BEHAR: Let me ask you something about the state of primetime TV these days just your professional opinion of the move to 10:00 for Leno. What do you think of that?
SHANDLING: I`m debating whether to go on at 8:00. I think they should just go all the way down to maybe 6:00 p.m. should go from news to news and in between it should just be talk shows.
BEHAR: There was an article in the business section of "The Times" the other day that said there`s a boomer -- what to you call it? A domino effect that the whole station is now skewy because of it. And "Law & Order" is having trouble. Which has been a juggernaut, you know for many years because of that move.
SHANDLING: I think after we did a little segment where we talked about the troubles in the world we, I think we can now focus in on the fact --
BEHAR: The real things. Television.
SHANDLING: The entire fact with the Middle East and everything is because Jay Leno moved down to 10:00.
BEHAR: And Jay got "The Tonight Show." How come you didn`t get it?
SHANDLING: You know, well I was guest hosting "The Tonight Show" regularly and then I was supposed to alternate Mondays with Leno back then but I was working on this show, and, you know, I work on all levels of the show, so it`s a lot of work and I didn`t have the time to then devote -- it sounds easy, a Monday to hosting "The Tonight Show." I knew one of them would suffer. I had to call Johnny up. That`s when Joan Rivers left to do her own show opposite Johnny. And I had to call Johnny.
BEHAR: By the way, he was ticked off when that happened because she didn`t call him.
SHANDLING: She also went opposite. She also wet opposite. It would be like me going on PBS opposite you. I couldn`t think of anything less - well you got HLN, PBS. You know, I`m going on the nature channel with a talk show.
BEHAR: Nowadays they don`t have people sitting in, like Conan or Letterman. What about Letterman? By the way what about Letterman? What happened there? I forgot all about Letterman.
SHANDLING: You know, I have nothing -- I don`t think anybody should talk about some of these things until we really know the actual facts.
BEHAR: We know the facts. He was sleeping with some of the people who worked there. He said it. He admitted it.
SHANDLING: Is this your simple way of saying you`re not sleeping with me tonight? What is this? This is now the Letterman --
BEHAR: I only sleep with people I`m working for.
SHANDLING: Nicely done. Nicely done.
BEHAR: Well we`re done now. Are you sad to be leaving me?
SHANDLING: Yes. I`m not -- I`m not pleased. I feel like I -- I wish I could continue on into the news.
BEHAR: I know. I`m sorry. There`s only so much time to spend with you.
SHANDLING: I`m going to go downstairs and find Lou Dobbs.
BEHAR: Find Lou Dobbs. He`s down there in the makeup chair. It was so good to see you, Garry.
SHANDLING: You had to read the opening? Don`t read the closing.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: I`m not reading that part.
SHANDLING: This is what it`s like, Joy. Can I do it for you? Can I do it?
BEHAR: Yeah.
SHANDLING: Joy, can I say how -- what a good time I had tonight?
BEHAR: It`s Garry Shandling`s show, the entire box set is out on DVD. Good night.
END
