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JOY BEHAR SHOW

Tiger Apologizes; Interview With Jesse Ventura

Aired December 2, 2009 - 21:00:00   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


JOY BEHAR, HOST: Tonight on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW has scandal got Tiger by the tail? Tiger releases a statement while an alleged mistress releases a sexy text message. What`s next? We`ll discuss.

Then he went from hitting people with a folding chair to sitting in the governor`s chair. Jesse Ventura shares his latest conspiracy theory.

And comedian, game show host and noted germaphobe, Howie Mandel joins me in the studio. He may be in a hazmat suit, but he`ll be here. All this, starting now.

On the golf course, Tiger Woods has won 14 majors. But off the course, he`s in major trouble. He`s reportedly linked to three women other than his wife, and today he`s apologizing for transgressions.

Joining me to discuss the scandal are Countess Luann de Lesseps of "The Real Housewives of New York City", Marvet Britto, publicist and grand strategist, and Albert Lee, deputy news editor for "Us Weekly". Welcome to the show you guys.

The latest issue with all the dirt of Tiger`s alleged affair with Jaimee Grubbs hits newsstands on Friday. Right?

ALBERT LEE, DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR, US WEEKLY: That`s right.

BEHAR: Should we be surprised by any of these allegations? Aren`t athletes just in a special class?

LEE: Well, you know, that`s the thing. That`s what makes it all the more shocking is that Tiger comes from a world, the golfing world. It`s a much more conservative, much more square world. I think if you saw this happening in like basketball world, people wouldn`t be quite as surprised.

BEHAR: That`s interesting. You think so if it`s true, isn`t it?

MARVET BRITTO, PRESIDENT & CEO, BRITTO AGENCY: Absolutely. I mean, it`s more expected because there are more groupies around those other sports, but, you know, sports is sports. They`re the same

LEE: And Tiger himself, you know, has sort of like cultivated this impeccable image as a billion-dollar success story and a straight arrow husband and father of two. So that makes it -- that sort of aggravates the situation.

BEHAR: Maybe these wives should vet their husbands before they marry them.

LEE: Well, you know, someone pointed out to me -- it`s sort of like - - why not like -- if you want to kind of carouse around, why not just be like George Clooney and stay single? Why get married?

BEHAR: Because these guys want everything. They want the wife at home, they want the kids, and they want the girlfriend.

LUANN DE LESSEPS, "REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK CITY": It`s no wonder she came after him with the golf club. I mean I can understand it. First I thought, everybody makes mistakes and this can happen and I believe in the tradition of marriage. And then I started to hear about all the other women -- they were coming out of the closet with these allegations.

BEHAR: Exactly. That`s the problem.

DE LESSEPS: And that`s the problem.

BEHAR: Well, "US Weekly" got this voicemail from Jaimee Grubbs who says Tiger Woods left it for her days before Thanksgiving. Listen.

(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)

TIGER WOODS, ATHLETE: Hey, it`s Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. If you can, please take your name off that. And what do you call it? Just have it as a number on the voicemail. Just have it as your telephone number, that`s it, ok? You have to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. All right. Bye.

(END AUDIO CLIP)

BEHAR: I was told, I`ve been told we have not confirmed that that is, in fact, Tiger Woods. We don`t know for sure.

BRITTO: You would think if they were dating, he wouldn`t say, "Hi, it`s Tiger."

BEHAR: He didn`t say, "Hi, it`s Tiger". He didn`t do that.

LEE: Remember, when we -- because our story came out, we posted part of the story online today. He`s been silent for a whole week about this, all through the holiday weekend. When we posted the story online with a voicemail, hours later that`s when he finally came out with the statement apologizing for his personal sins and his transgressions.

DE LESSEPS: He must have realized I have to say something at this point.

BEHAR: Why would he do that voicemail knowing that that could come out?

LEE: This was two days before Thanksgiving. This was before anyone had heard of this Rachel girl, of Kalika, of Jaimee. And they`re all coming out of the woodwork now but I think, you know, that the real fact was that he knew his wife had found out. His wife found out. He was doing damage control.

BEHAR: Well, take a look at one of the 300 text messages that Jaimee Grubbs says she had with Tiger Woods. She says -- he writes, "Send me something very naughty. Go to the bathroom and take a picture." Of what? The toilet? What does that mean? I don`t even understand.

DE LESSEPS: Take a picture of yourself, I think.

BEHAR: Take a picture -- no, it just says go to the bathroom and take a picture?

DE LESSEPS: Of her, of herself.

BEHAR: Of her in the bathroom? Why not the bedroom?

DE LESSEPS: Doing something weird, I guess.

BEHAR: There`s something strange about that.

DE LESSEPS: I know. Why the bathroom?

BRITO: Maybe they had a special moment in the bathroom.

(CROSSTALK)

BEHAR: That makes him sound a little pervy, doesn`t it?

DE LESSEPS: It does. And it`s a pity because he has such a great image and to see it tarnished in this way is really sad.

BEHAR: Marvet, why didn`t he just come clean after the crash and pre- empt the whole thing? You`re a publicist, you know the answers to these.

BRITTO: The first mistake Joy was in his initial release, it added fuel to the fire because if this was a car accident, why are you saying I`m not perfect? They stopped short of actually, you know, confessing that there was something more.

But he said I`m not perfect so it led everyone else to think, not perfect, you hit a hydrant. Then he went one step further and said "and it will never happen again". How can you ever say you`ll never be in another car accident? So it really just added fuel...

BEHAR: Right. So he`s just not talking about that.

BRITTO: He wasn`t talking about the car accident.

BEHAR: Well, the transgressions indicate sin, right?

DE LESSEPS: Absolutely.

BEHAR: He also -- this is another thing that he said in his latest thing, "For the last week, my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives. There is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple human measure of privacy. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn`t have to mean public confessions."

Problems within the family -- doesn`t he have the right to some kind of privacy? Or what?

DE LESSEPS: Of course, I think he should have his privacy. This is a time for him to be with his family. They`re going through a really hard time and this is where he needs to hold the family together and be strong and so does his wife. I mean, I really think it`s important at this point, that they work together keep the family safe and out of harm`s way.

BEHAR: Marvet, do you agree with that? "US Weekly" doesn`t agree. I know they don`t.

LEE: I think there`s some truth...

(CROSSTALK)

LEE: I beg to differ slightly but I think there is some truth to that but I also think that we have to remember this all started with a car crash that happened at 2:30 in the morning with one of the world`s most prominent, wealthiest athletes. And so everyone wanted to know. 2:30 in the morning as everyone`s been joking. I mean, come on the guy wasn`t going out for Black Friday sales.

DE LESSEPS: Yes, but he`s an athlete. He`s not a reality star.

LEE: You follow the trail of bread crumbs.

BEHAR: But there`s something weird about the wife and the golf club and the whole thing. And wait. Let me ask you another question.

Why did he now engage a criminal defense attorney?

LEE: Well, that was what`s strange because -- yes -- what happened was the Florida Highway Patrol sent investigators to question him. He`s not required by law to submit to questioning.

However, they wanted to get to the bottom of it. There were all these sort of strange inconsistencies with the stories. And so he turned them way on Friday, then on Saturday, and he turned them away again on Sunday, promptly hired a criminal defense attorney and then...

BEHAR: But why criminal?

LEE: I mean, like I think he wanted some legal advice. He still hasn`t come out fully and explained exactly what was going on at 2:30 in the morning.

BEHAR: There`s a couple of things that don`t really compute to me as far as I understand the story. There`s no blood in the car, yet there`s blood on him. The air bags did not go off which would indicate that somebody -- no one was in the car. Maybe the car went off by itself and he got possible hit by his wife -- it`s possible she hit him and hard.

(CROSSTALK)

LEE: And Florida has one of the country`s strictest domestic violence laws to the extent where, actually, I read a statistic, something like -- actually you wouldn`t expect it but 20 percent of the arrests related to domestic violence in Florida are women.

BRITTO: Women have had it.

BEHAR: Women have had it.

(CROSSTALK)

LEE: I think that`s -- as Marvet pointed out, when he put out that initial release, the wording was strange. But one of the things that he said in the release was he was very adamant that his wife did not attack him, that those rumors were untrue. He wanted to inoculate her from any sort of charge.

BEHAR: He probably loves his wife. They always love their wives. They just want nooky on the side. Let`s face it.

(CROSSTALK)

BRITTO: And also in this situation, Tiger got two left hooks. Remember, this was supposed to be self-contained. He didn`t expect, I don`t think, his neighbors to call the cops.

So he really got hit with the wife and the public at the very same time. Remember, it was a neighbor that called the cops. Tiger or his wife would have never called the authorities. He would have kept it private.

BEHAR: Maybe the wife was so angry, she -- after he was hurt -- I don`t know how he got hurt, it`s alleged. But maybe the wife said, "Hey, call the police. Call the ambulance."

BRITTO: The person calling never says that. They said he heard...

LEE: He said, yes, he said he heard a crash.

BRITTO: He said I heard a crash. Because trust me, as private and as fiercely private as Tiger Woods has always been and his wife, he would have taken that matter back into his household. He would have never called the police. Clearly he doesn`t even want to deal with the police. He hasn`t dealt with the police.

So this became a public matter while he was dealing with a private matter. He wasn`t ready for either.

BEHAR: Wasn`t he unconscious at one point also?

LEE: Yes, he was unconscious for 6 minutes and he was drifting in and out.

BEHAR: Why was he unconscious?

BRITTO: Why was he unconscious?

LEE: Well, you know, I mean the fact that the air bags didn`t deploy -- so we know he was going at a low speed. It is possible, they didn`t find -- reportedly didn`t find blood on the steering wheel so...

BEHAR: Was there blood on the golf club?

LEE: Well, you know, there`s been speculation that he might have taken Ambien, he might have taken prescription drugs so he might have been a little out of it.

BEHAR: When you take Ambien, nothing can wake you up at 2:00 a.m. Trust me.

BRITTO: But also we have to think about the fact -- we have to think about the fact that this man hit a hydrant and a tree in a yard that he backs out of every day. There had to be something more to -- you know, the tree just didn`t appear that day, that morning at 2:00 a.m. So clearly, there`s a lot more to this story that we`re not being told. And only Tiger and his wife know.

But again, I suspect that at the same time that may be they had their discussion or whatever sparked this or ignited this issue between the both of them.

BEHAR: Yes.

BRITTO: You know, something led him to -- and she -- and where was she? This house is massive. So the fact that she has a golf club and she`s at the car at the same time that he hits it, we don`t know what was premeditated, we don`t know what made -- maybe she was chasing him-- we don`t know it`s all an allegation until he comes forward. And he will never come forward.

BEHAR: Let`s say -- Albert let`s say that she hit him, ok and she`d made him unconscious. He`s not going to say that. She`s not going say that.

LEE: No, no way.

BEHAR: Because they don`t want her to go to jail in Florida.

LEE: Yes.

BEHAR: Isn`t that the bottom line for this?

LEE: That`s the bottom line and...

BEHAR: And is this going to go away and is he going to preserve his reputation all Marvet?

BRITTO: It`s going to be hard for him to preserve his reputation because he was the Golden Boy of sports. If there was a Golden Boy, he was the golden boy of sports and a sport that is like Albert said so conservatives. And you know you just wouldn`t expect Tiger to do that. So it`s going to be difficult.

Also keep in mind a lot of the corporate brands that have leveraged his brand equity are really the wholesome American brands. So it`s going to be difficult.

BEHAR: Nike...

BRITTO: Infidelity while it`s accepted and between spouses it`s going to be really hard for him to rebound from this.

BEHAR: It happens all the time.

BRITTO: Absolutely.

LEE: It happens all the time.

BEHAR: So maybe the new slogan is, just do it, but don`t do it in Florida. Do you think they should, they`re going to get a divorce?

DE LESSEPS: No.

BEHAR: Or what do you think, everyone is speculating.

DE LESSEPS: They`re not going to get a divorce.

LEE: Well...

BRITTO: He`s just going to keep her and...

BEHAR: Where is the wife going?

DE LESSEPS: It`s cheaper to keep her.

BRITTO: She was a nanny before. Where is she going?

LEE: Yes.

BEHAR: Does this story have legs or no?

LEE: Yes, yes.

BEHAR: When is it gone, Albert?

LEE: Well, you know there are all these like, there are all these like cocktail waitresses and tarts like coming out of the woodwork. You know I think the next step is like, how is Elin going to react? What if...

BEHAR: Elin is the next -- is the key.

LEE: ... is she going to be able to forget? It`s her decision.

BRITTO: And what it tells you too is he`s not taking care of them because they`re talking.

BEHAR: Ok, thank you all, very, very much.

And be sure to check out the countess` book, "Class with the Countess: How to live with Elegance and Flare." I think, I`ll buy it for myself.

Back in just a minute with Jesse Ventura and lots of juicy conspiracy theories. Stick around.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BARRACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: As commander-in- chief, I have determined that it is in our vital national interest to send an additional 30,000 U.S. troops to Afghanistan. And after 18 month, our troops will begin to come home.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BEHAR: President Obama made that long awaited announcement last night. And today he`s getting flack from both sides of his political spectrums. Surprise, surprise.

And my next guest is ready to jump right into the fray. Former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura is here to talk about that and his new show premiering tonight on TruTV called "Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura". Welcome Jesse.

JESSE VENTURA, TRUTV`S CONSPIRACY THEORY: Thanks Joy, it`s good to be here.

BEHAR: So nice to have you here.

VENTURA: Absolutely and congratulations on your show.

BEHAR: Thank you very much.

You know, you -- I don`t think Obama can get a break. I mean, he gets the Nobel Prize, they attacked him for that. He basically -- I think saved us from financial meltdown, they attacked him for that. He saved those girls, those journalists from Korea, got them out of North Korea, they didn`t like that either. Is he...

VENTURA: Who is they?

BEHAR: The right wing of the party I think.

VENTURA: Ok.

BEHAR: Do you think that if he solves global warming and really brought us out of Afghanistan, they would really hate him?

VENTURA: Probably because I don`t like what global warming is doing. I don`t like cap and trade.

BEHAR: No, but my point is the guy can`t get a break.

VENTURA: I understand that.

BEHAR: Yes.

VENTURA: But cap and trade doesn`t solve the problem it just allows the polluter to buy his way out of it. So it see, it`s a fraud, cap and trade. It`s a fraud.

BEHAR: Oh I see. Well, is that a conspiracy theory?

VENTURA: Oh no, that`s a fact.

BEHAR: It`s a fact?

VENTURA: Yes, cap and trade is a fraud.

BEHAR: Ok.

VENTURA: And if they go ahead with that but any way, I`m disappointed in President Obama.

BEHAR: You are?

VENTURA: Yes, because he told us when run he was going to run on change. I haven`t seen any change. He`s just a regular old Democrat. And he also told us...

BEHAR: What should he have down that would have been change?

VENTURA: Change?

BEHAR: Yes.

VENTURA: Well, he could have done what he said. Pull us out of all for these wars and bring our boys home. That`s what I`d do.

BEHAR: But wasn`t it a campaign promise of his to actually go into Afghanistan? And get the al Qaeda.

VENTURA: Well, he said he was going to focus on Afghanistan rather than Iraq.

BEHAR: Yes.

VENTURA: But the point is...

BEHAR: Yes.

VENTURA: ... Afghanistan is Vietnam. I don`t care what they say.

BEHAR: How do you see that?

VENTURA: We`re propping up an unpopular government. Just like we did in Vietnam...

BEHAR: You mean, Karzai.

VENTURA: Yes and we`re pumping all this in there ---it cannot be solved militarily, I do not believe that, they fought there for a thousand years. You can`t solve it militarily; it`ll have to be solved diplomatically somehow. And let me put it this way. I think we should immediately implement war tax to pay for it.

BEHAR: Who would pay that? Everybody in the country?

VENTURA: Everybody. Because when you go to war, everyone should feel pain -- everyone -- we`re not feeling pain in this country.

BEHAR: No, that`s true we never even felt it.

VENTURA: And in that aspect, ok, we`re sending 30,000 kids over there who might die. And then when they get home, they`re going to have to pay for it, too. Now that`s pretty greedy of us to do, don`t you think?

BEHAR: Yes, well, how do you feel about the draft? I mean, that would also get everybody involved.

VENTURA: I think with the draft should come back immediately.

BEHAR: You do?

VENTURA: Yes and I was in the Stop the Draft Movement back in the `70s. I have a change in position now because when you get a professional military, it becomes far too easy for these politicians to take us to war.

If you have the draft, the war will end because then it comes home. When little Johnny don`t want to go and he comes back a year later in a body bag, that affects the neighborhood.

BEHAR: Well, that`s what`s happened in Vietnam.

VENTURA: That`s right and it would end the war. Bring the draft back. And not only ---here`s a bigger reason. We have military guys that are going on their sixth, seventh, eighth tour.

BEHAR: I know it`s terrible.

VENTURA: Isn`t it about time we relieve them of their duty? They`ve done it.

BEHAR: And...

VENTURA: The only way you do that Joy is with a draft.

BEHAR: He also says that they`re only going to be there for 18 months. I mean, you barely have time to learn what you`re doing in 18 months, right?

VENTURA: Well, you know what it tells me when I look at all of these. Does he really run the country? How can he go adverse to everything he talked about in the campaign? Now who is really calling the shots? Maybe, I don`t know.

BEHAR: Well, that was true certainly in the Bush administration. I mean, they got us into this mess...

VENTURA: Yes.

BEHAR: And now he`s trying to dig us out and nobody really is giving him any credit for anything he`s done.

VENTURA: I got an easy way to dig us out bring them home. That will dig us out.

BEHAR: Well, you know what about the fact? This is the only issue I have with Afghanistan because I`m not an expert, obviously on the war.

VENTURA: Ok, sure.

BEHAR: But if the Pakistani government is in control of nuclear weapons and the al Qaeda and Taliban people take over the nuclear arsenal, isn`t that a threat to the world? And if it is a threat to world, shouldn`t every country in this world be over there? Or is that, right?

VENTURA: You are, I would think yes.

BEHAR: That`s how I see it.

VENTURA: But see not everybody wants to go over there, and do they so? Is it really that threat?

BEHAR: Well, that would be the question I would like to ask General McChrystal.

VENTURA: Sure.

BEHAR: You know.

VENTURA: And like I said, I find it interesting that for the most part, on the talk -- for lack of better term, the talking heads, the media and all these people that say we should go fight the war, I always find it interesting that they never did it.

And they`re so quick to send everybody else`s kids off.

BEHAR: Cheney and Bush, they never went.

VENTURA: Cheney, Bush, never want.

BEHAR: The biggest warmonger.

VENTURA: Cheney had five deferments -- I call him the coward Dick Cheney -- because he had 5 deferments from Vietnam. And here`s what I`d like to know. How does somebody with five deferments end up the Secretary of Defense?

BEHAR: Because he was in the Bush administration? That`s that.

VENTURA: No, no. He was vice president then.

BEHAR: Oh, he`s vice president. Right. Right. That`s true.

VENTURA: But I mean, how does one end up the secretary because that`s the top liaison between the military and the civilian? You should have at least served in the military so you know both sides of the picture.

BEHAR: That would have helped. We`re going to come back with more with Jesse Ventura. And all about his new show, "The Conspiracy Theory Show". I love that.

Stay there.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Get up here. This is what they don`t want me to see.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BEHAR: He was a Navy SEAL, a professional wrestler and a governor. And now he`s the host of TruTV`s "Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura".

So Jesse, you look at a lot of different conspiracies like...

VENTURA: Yes. We do 7 of them and they`re all within the last decade. We don`t go back to John F. Kennedy. We don`t go to Dr...

BEHAR: Well, those have been done. Those have been done.

VENTURA: Yes. We do all modern ones within the last decade.

BEHAR: You do -- well, global warming, you touched on that before...

VENTURA: Yes.

BEHAR: Big brother, secret societies. Does that include the Friars` Club?

VENTURA: No. Not quite. It`s the Bilderbergers.

BEHAR: The Bilderbergers?

VENTURA: Yes.

BEHAR: What are those?

VENTURA: Well, that`s a society, it`s named after the Bilderberg Hotel in Holland in 1954 when all the supposed power guys of the world, they meet every year.

And imagine this, our president goes every year. You know what he has to do when he gets there? He has to sign a thing that he won`t talk about anything that is discussed there.

BEHAR: It`s like that Opus Dei.

VENTURA: Yes. And now, who has the power -- who has the power to make our president do that?

BEHAR: Well, that`s interesting.

VENTURA: Yes, very interesting.

BEHAR: That`s interesting.

I mean, are you a conspiracy theorist?

VENTURA: Yes. And I`ll tell you why.

BEHAR: Speak a little closer.

VENTURA: I`ll tell you why. Because my government in my 58 has lied to me so often they have no credibility. The last time was 2004 when I was teaching at Harvard McNamara comes through and now admits the Gulf of Tonkin incident never happened. 58,000 of my generation killed in Vietnam, a million Vietnamese over an event that never happened apparently.

And then look what they did to Pat Tillman. Here`s a guy that quit football, a hero to go to war for his country. He gets killed by friendly fire which we in the Special Forces know that`s always a risk. As tragic as it is, it can happen.

What does our government do? Lies to his family, lies to the American people. Does a political spin to try to make him something that didn`t happen and tried to make us hate these Taliban. They killed Pat Tillman when the reality was, he was killed by friendly fire.

So tell me Joy, how can I believe my government when all they do is lie to me? Weapons of mass destruction, ties to al Qaeda; I can go on and on and on.

BEHAR: Right. A lot of people feel that way too.

You were not able to ask the government the questions, were you?

VENTURA: No. That`s what was interesting.

BEHAR: That adds fuel to the conspiracy theory.

VENTURA: Well, yes.

BEHAR: That they won`t answer.

VENTURA: And what we initially set out to do is tell both sides and then allow you the viewer to determine which side you want to believe. But that becomes difficult when one side, the government won`t cooperate on anything.

So now we tell only the conspiracy side and we leave to it the viewer. Does this conspiracy have merit? Could it be real? And I`ll tell you this Joy. You can discount and not believe any of these 7 conspiracies I do. But if you pay attention and watch the show, I guarantee you, you`ll be frightened and scared.

BEHAR: I`m scared already just talking to you.

VENTURA: Joy, I got scared doing them and I don`t scare easy.

BEHAR: Aren`t you scared that they`ll come after you? You know, every time...

VENTURA: Who is they?

BEHAR: I don`t know. The people that you`re accusing of certain things.

VENTURA: I would like to see who they are.

BEHAR: They`re out there Jesse and that`s not paranoid.

VENTURA: Whatever. But I have a passion for it. It`s going to be great show I think. And...

BEHAR: Sounds very interesting. I look forward to it.

VENTURA: Yes. And I think people are going to enjoy it if they pay attention. But you know, we live in a world full of lemmings today.

BEHAR: Ok. Jesse, thank you.

VENTURA: I didn`t say you were.

BEHAR: "Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura" debuts tonight at 10:00 p.m. on TruTV.

Back in a minute with the very funny Howie Mandel.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BEHAR: Howie Mandel, host of "Deal Or No Deal" is an impulsive, colorblind germaphobe with an insatiable appetite for practical jokes who needs to be the center of attention at all the times. As we learn in his new memoir, "Here`s The Deal: Don`t Touch Me," he also suffers from ADHD and OCD. I`m pleased to be joined by Howie Mandel, but I will not shake his hand. Welcome, Howie.

HOWIE MANDEL, HOSE OF DEAL OR NO DEAL: I love you for that. Don`t touch me.

BEHAR: I know.

MANDEL: What a gracious introduction. All my problems is like a litany of issues.

BEHAR: Is there anything that -

MANDEL: If you want people to stay tuned, this guy is an idiot, he needs to be the center of attention. He`s a mental case.

BEHAR: People can relate -

MANDEL: You want to stay tuned?

BEHAR: Hundreds of people who watch are relating to you. Everyone has ADD these days.

MANDEL: Hundreds of people are watching - that is amazing.

BEHAR: At least a hundred.

MANDEL: Thank you - hundreds. Wow.

BEHAR: That`s just my family.

MANDEL: That is amazing. To be on the show now that you`ve pointed out that hundreds are watching, I`m nervous. I didn`t think I`d be in front of that size audience tonight.

BEHAR: I know but some of them are deaf. They won`t even hear a word we are saying. You know.

MANDEL: Deaf people, we`re selling. This is closed captioned. Do you have closed caption on the show?

BEHAR: Yes, I think we do.

MANDEL: You don`t do you?

BEHAR: I don`t really know. Do we have it?

MANDEL: So we should just talk - you know what, you don`t know, so we should just talk louder just in case.

BEHAR: Is there anything not wrong with you, Howie?

MANDEL: I am the biggest mess you ever want to meet. I didn`t realize it until I, well I knew it, but I didn`t realize it until I wrote the book and saw it in front of me. How much of a mess I am. Thank you for holding it up. Boo "Here`s The Deal: Don`t Touch Me." I am a mess. But I think a lot of people are a mess. I didn`t realize how it affected every waking moment. I do realize that and now I`m having a discussion with myself. But I am. I do a lot of therapy. I do a lot of -- I see a lot of people. I get a lot of help. And I`m medicated.

BEHAR: You`re medicated as we speak.

MANDEL: Yes.

BEHAR: What kind of medication are you on?

MANDEL: I can`t say. I`m not suppose to say. Tom Cruise told me just don`t mention it.

(LAUGHTER)

BEHAR: He did not.

MANDEL: No, he did not. No but I --

BEHAR: Which is worse, the OCD or the ADD?

MANDEL: You know what, I know I have OCD and when I`m trying to fix it I lose focus. What is worse. And then I go on to something else. I want to deal with the OCD but the ADD, I just I`m on to something else so I --

BEHAR: Yes how do you do "Deal Or No Deal"? You have to touch people all the time over there.

MANDEL: Well touching is not the issue.

BEHAR: Oh so it`s not? So if I

(CROSSTALK)

MANDEL: No don`t - you wanted me to be comfortable you have no idea before people that are just joining us now, they spent 20 minutes adjusting my chair so I`d look comfortable. And now you are reaching for me? No if you touch me, probably nothing would happen. But the thought that something might happen --

BEHAR: Like what?

MANDEL: I`ll get triggered.

BEHAR: Into what?

MANDEL: Are you doing that to me? It wasn`t a touch. It`s the cough. Why did you cough? And coughing - hundreds of people out there -

BEHAR: Well you know the cough could be like the nervous action to the OCD.

MANDEL: Well I`m having a nervous reaction to your first reaction. Do you have a cough? Are you sick?

BEHAR: No, I`m not sick.

MANDEL: Why did you cough?

BEHAR: I`m not sick, stop it. It`s an allergy?

MANDEL: It`s an allergy? Well I have many issues. You have an allergy?

BEHAR: I see that you have an issue.

MANDEL: But I would think that maybe I have a germ and then I would go in and wash my hands. And I would scald my hands and like a normal person would probably leave and think they have cleaned, they`ve cleansed. I would go back again and keep going back. And it would -- my day would stop. My life would stop. And it`s a never ending dark circle that I can`t break.

BEHAR: But you`re married guy with children.

MANDEL: Yes, I am, thank you.

BEHAR: Let`s just -- I want to ask you about the courtship section. Like when you were dating your wife -

MANDEL: Right.

BEHAR: You would be in the bathroom washing your hands all the time. Wasn`t she curious -- did she think you left her?

MANDEL: She knew. She`s a very tolerant, wonderful woman.

BEHAR: She must be.

MANDEL: Yes, she is. And she deserves an award. I hope there is an award for her. But she knew. A lot of our - and maybe that`s why I lasted 30 years. Because I spent a lot of time away --I`m on the road or I`m washing my hands.

BEHAR: It`s a busy day.

MANDEL: We don`t spend time.

BEHAR: What about public restrooms when you`re away?

MANDEL: I try not to go. When I do --

BEHAR: So that gives you another disease? Backed up bladder.

MANDEL: No, I have a catheter. But the thing is that I - when I do go.

BEHAR: He does not.

MANDEL: How do you know? Why do you know? You don`t know. You just met me now. And the desk is coming to here.

BEHAR: Well I noticed that you move further away from me.

MANDEL: I did. I move close to you -- I don`t want to ruin the angle.

BEHAR: Don`t be afraid of me.

MANDEL: I don`t want to be a space between my back -

BEHAR: Just because I like you, I am sympathetic to your plight. I have all sorts of things here. To clean the studio and everything because of you.

MANDEL: To me, the sounds of Lysol are like porn to me. You just caused thank god the desk is to here. But -- the thing is, that, you know, and I laugh about it. And there are very serious parts in the book. It`s hard for me. But making fun of it allows me to survive.

BEHAR: Well it helps to be a comedian when you have all these disorders.

MANDEL: Do you have a disorder?

BEHAR: Just the coughing.

MANDEL: Is this for real? Is she sick?

BEHAR: Howie -

MANDEL: Oh she`s sick -

BEHAR: No, I`m fine. Howie, this was a big secret until the Howard Stern Show.

(CROSSTALK)

MANDEL: Well you know, I grew up the same time as you. We`re about the same age. And the thing is there`s a stigma attached to mental health issues. Going a therapist or being medicated, you don`t tell people. And then Howard, I was locked in his --

BEHAR: Embrace.

MANDEL: Well, no. We were just spooning. In his studio. And I didn`t want to touch the door because a guest before me touched himself and touched the door. He thought it was funny, I thought it was funny. I got worn down. I said this is serious. It`s OCD. I`m going a therapist. I thought, what have I just done on national?

BEHAR: No you opened the Pandora`s box.

MANDEL: Hundreds of -

BEHAR: Hundreds of fans -

MANDEL: Hundreds of listeners. And I thought I just shamed my family, I`ll never work again.

BEHAR: You got over that. What happened?

MANDEL: I went to the street and thought of maybe running into traffic. Some guy came up to me and said, I heard you, me, too. I thought, I`m not alone. That was a little more comforting. I still didn`t know what I`ve done. And throughout the years as I`ve talked about it and become more vocal about it.

BEHAR: I`m sorry.

MANDEL: Why do you -- are you serious?

BEHAR: I`m allergic to this maybe.

MANDEL: Why are you coughing? You don`t start with a cough. Did you get a shot? Not like shots, not like rabies. Did you have the H1N1 shot?

BEHAR: No, just the regular flu shot. I haven`t had the -

MANDEL: You can`t. I want one - I won`t go.

BEHAR: Why because you`re afraid of needles.

MANDEL: No, because - no, I`m not afraid of the needles. I`m not going to where they have that? There could be sifty (ph) there.

BEHAR: What if you go to the hospital?

MANDEL: I have been to the hospital. I freaked. I had a heart thing. I had to go to the hospital.

BEHAR: That must have been terrible for you.

MANDEL: Horrible. Horrible. But it was. I would not let them undress me. I was on the gurney dress. I wouldn`t touch that - and then I threw out the clothes I wore that night. I didn`t even get a private room I had a semiprivate room. With an older man who wore a gown and stared at out the window with the back opening -

BEHAR: The flab -

MANDEL: No but I was looking out the window at the moon on in the room, looking at his moon. It was horrible. Not a joke, it`s true, I had a -

BEHAR: Is this a genetic disorder?

MANDEL: I don`t know. You know, I don`t know. They are doing research now. I don`t know if it`s genetic, you know my kids are showing signs, but I don`t know if it`s because they copy. I told them, don`t copy me. It`s really hard. It`s torturous.

BEHAR: How old are the kids?

MANDEL: 25, Not all of them. They are 25, 20, and 17.

BEHAR: So are they all showing a little OCD tendencies?

MANDEL: Not all.

BEHAR: How about your wife?

MANDEL: No. She doesn`t show any. She`s normal.

BEHAR: It`s not just --

MANDEL: She married me, how normal could it be?

BEHAR: She`s been with you so many years.

MANDEL: No, no, my mother, you know what, OCD, people say I`m a bit of a germaphobe. I`m not as much of a germaphobe as much as if I get a crazy thought in my head, I can`t get it out. My mom with thee Lysol on the side of the crib. My grandmother was waxing the curb. You know how many people broke their neck in front of her house. Not one cold in the house. A lot of people with broken next out in the front yard. But not one cold in front of her house. There was no dirt in the house. We just had a lot of people with broken necks lying out in the front yard.

BEHAR: Now I have to ask you though you are married. And you obviously have sex with your wife.

MANDEL: I have sex with my wife.

BEHAR: You have three children.

MANDEL: She frowns upon me having sex with others.

BEHAR: But how do you work that out?

MANDEL: Pardon me?

BEHAR: I have to ask you this question, how did you have sex when you are afraid of -

MANDEL: I don`t shake her hand.

BEHAR: But there are so many germs when you`re having sex.

MANDEL: No not my wife. My wife has no germs. I have a special -- no, I don`t have anything special.

BEHAR: Do you do through the sheet like some religions do?

MANDEL: Yes, I know. What do you mean some religions? The orthodox Jews. They lived down the street from us. And then I remember on Halloween their kid came as a one-eyed ghost. that really bothered me. Because that`s not the sheet you want him to use, right?

BEHAR: Well maybe they were not orthodox, religious orthodox. Maybe they were germaphobes.

MANDEL: I don`t know. The pink eye. All the crust and everything. That`s hobble.

BEHAR: Stay where you are.

MANDEL: Where am I going to go?

BEHAR: No, stay right where you are.

MANDEL: Yes, take care of your cough. We`ll be right back.

BEHAR: More with Howie Mandel, don`t go away.

(CROSSTALK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MANDEL: Maybe I should make fun. It could be a problem. I don`t know. What is your name?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Christian.

MANDEL: Christian. I`m Jew. We`re all here together. See that`s the good thing. Getting along.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Don`t try this at home.

Howie Mandel.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BEHAR: Well, Mike Douglas. That`s 100 years ago.

MANDEL: I brought a clip with me. I want to promote that I was on Mike Douglas. Where did you get that clip? Wow, you`re digging things up here. I was looking at that and --

BEHAR: Hundreds of people. We wanted to see your other hair. What happened to it?

MANDEL: I have it. Not on my head.

BEHAR: Did you lose it or shave it?

MANDEL: I shaved it. And once I shaved it you lose it. right, so you - falls of the -- no I shaved it for a part in a movie. And then - and then it feels clean. And I keep it and it`s real easy.

BEHAR: It feels clean. Oh this is more of the OCD.

MANDEL: It feeds into my -- and plus being shaved cuts 2.5 seconds after my time.

BEHAR: Yes, do you gate Brazilian wax also?

MANDEL: You know what, it`s funny you should ask because I talk about it in my book also. I don`t. But there is, not here -- when you watch he on deal, I have a little goat here. The soul patch? You know, I do that. I have like that. I`m walking out, have the little soul patch. OK. And I think this is one of the biggest honors is there is a Brazilian waxing place in California, Southern California and they you can order the Howie Mandel. The ladies can order that.

BEHAR: Oh, god.

MANDEL: That`s not a joke.

BEHAR: I prefer Hitler`s must attach. That`s just me. Let`s talk about -- let`s talk -- Howie, focus.

MANDEL: I`m a Jew. That`s -- that`s -- Hitler. Can you imagine Hitler?

BEHAR: Just that little bit there. Let`s talk about the comedy career.

MANDEL: You tell people it`s Charlie Chaplain. If a Jew is in that area, it`s Charlie Chaplin.

BEHAR: Of course, the comedy career. How did you -- we`re both comedians, we get on stage, we`re out of our minds to be comedians. How did you start?

MANDEL: On a dare. I went to Yuk Yuk`s in Canada, the `70s.

BEHAR: Oh Toronto

MANDEL: Yes.

BEHAR: Are you Canadian?

MANDEL: Yes, no, I flew there because I heard it was the Mecca.

BEHAR: Yuk, Yuk`s in Toronto, you can`t miss it.

MANDEL; I was in New York City and I heard if you want to make it comedy, Toronto. That`s what I did. So I was living there and the comedy boom was beginning. And I went to see a comedy club and they said, if anybody - if you want to come back on Monday nights, we have amateur nights. My friends dared me to go up and I did. And Mark Resa, who`s the owner there said, come back next week. It was a great hobby. I didn`t like disco, I`m not a dancer. And it was great - I don`t play sports. So it was my hang out, like guys get together and you know do - play one on one. I loved the camaraderie. I love the -- it was like a bunch of goofballs like us. Were you at Catch?

BEHAR: I started with Catch. I was with Gilbert and all those people.

MANDEL: He was one of the funniest men. I love him. I just loved hanging out there. I went to California. I went up on the comedy store. A guy producing a comedy game show called "Make Me Laugh." Do you remember Make Me Laugh? He hired me right there on my vacation to do Make Me Laugh. And I did that. And I got seen on that and Dick Shawn called me. Do you remember Dick Shaw?

BEHAR: Also the dear departed - very funny, died onstage in the middle of an act.

MANDEL: His son was doing the lighting.

BEHAR: Oh really? do you think the son electrocuted him?

MANDEL: no, no, no - he started - you know, it was in San Diego. And he use to start his act like a homeless guy, he`d be lying on the stage covered in newspapers. And then that`s how the act was suppose to start. And the lights went down, the son put on the spotlight. And newspapers were there. And he never -- he didn`t -- the act didn`t start.

BEHAR: Oh, god.

MANDEL: The son`s got the light on him. It`s horrible, tragic.

BEHAR: Tragedy plus time the comedy.

MANDEL: If you`re just tuning in now, we`re talking about great man who died.

BEHAR: Dick Shawn. One of the funniest.

MANDEL: What are they laughing about? What did I miss? Somebody died.

BEHAR: We laugh or we cry. Are we going cry? No.

MANDEL: That`s exactly what I say that in my book.

BEHAR: But you know what I`m impressed with your confidence. I have to say in reading those chapters about the comedy career and how you. You didn`t think twice. Oh they`re doing Make Me Life, I`ll get on stage. Most people are a little more scared than that.

MANDEL: Right. I don`t know if it`s confidence of I`m just an idiot. I don`t think things through. You know, I don`t think of the ramifications. You know I never did. That`s why I don`t have a GED. You know I got thrown out of school. Because I always just act on impulse.

BEHAR: Oh, I see. You don`t have a high school diploma?

MANDEL: That`s what a GED is.

BEHAR: I taught GED, you never got that or high school diploma or anything? Why don`t you go back and get it?

MANDEL: I am. I`m being homeschooled.

BEHAR: I can teach you, grammar. You have to know grammar, you have to know -

MANDEL: Were you a teacher?

BEHAR: I taught, yes, I use to teach -

MANDEL: My daughter is a teacher.

BEHAR: Oh yes, what does she teach?

MANDEL: Where does she teach?

BEHAR: What does she teach?

MANDEL: She -- first grade and second grade.

BEHAR: Oh that`s so cute.

MANDEL: It is cute. To 40-year-olds at night who don`t speak English.

BEHAR: Now, deal or no deal, I heard that you almost under the down the gig.

MANDEL: No I did turned it down. I turned it down two or three times.

BEHAR: Why?

MANDEL: Because number one, I didn`t see myself nor did I want to be a game show host. It didn`t make -- I think in our profession, the irony of -- game show host was something you made fun of and you worked. I didn`t. And when they explained the game. It doesn`t makes sense because you see the game. But there was no game. There was no stunts, there was no trivia, there`s nothing --

BEHAR: It`s based on greed, isn`t it?

MANDEL: But, you can`t, I don`t know if you can fathom somebody pitching me the idea we`re going to spend on entire hour, you know, just choosing cases, opening the cases and offering people money for -- that`s the hour.

BEHAR: Yes, yes, yes.

MANDEL: We`ll have, like, bikini models holding the cases. The description was so cheesy and so weird and so bad --

BEHAR: It`s a huge hit.

MANDEL: My wife -- my wife --

BEHAR: Hundreds.

MANDEL: Hundreds. My wife saw the tape of it and said, you idiot, take the deal.

BEHAR: Take the deal.

MANDEL: I said, it will ruin my career at that point. She said, you idiot, what are you doing? You don`t have much of a career at this point. She`s very honest. Honesty is the best policy when it comes to marriage.

BEHAR: Well I love these people come on and say I`m out of work, I haven`t worked for ten years. I have no money. I owe a million dollars and then they`ll turn down $750,000.

MANDEL; Not only turn it down. They`re adamant. I`ll show the banker, no deal with pride. You see the kids sitting in the audience, three kids who haven`t eaten for days, mommy, what are you doing?

BEHAR: More with Howie Mandel when we come back in just a minute.

MANDEL: You cleared out the cough.

BEHAR: Yes, I did just for you.

MANDEL: I like that.

BEHAR: Just for you.

MANDEL: Thank you

BEHAR: Because I don`t want to scare you. (COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BEHAR: I`m back with OCD sufferer and host of "Deal Or No Deal," a very funny guy Howie Mandel.

MANDEL: Can I ask you a question just before we came to air, coming out of break, you said Howie this is a very short segment. What do I do to adjust for that? I don`t know why I need that information.

BEHAR: You need that information.

MANDEL: I`ll say good bye and I`ll be gone.

BEHAR: Because I don`t want you to think I`m rejecting you after a few minutes.

MANDEL: Is that it?

BEHAR: It`s not over yet. People want to know some things about you. On twitter.

MANDEL: Who are these people?

BEHAR: Twitter.

MANDEL: I`m Twittering now. Howie M. Mandel. Will you twitter me?

BEHAR: Sure. I`m Joy V. Behar.

MANDEL: V.?

BEHAR: V. As in Victoria.

MANDEL: Is that your middle name? M. As in Michael. Howie Michael Mandel. You follow me, I`ll follow you.

BEHAR: Sure, whatever. I don`t know if I feel like following anybody, but -- who are you dying to work with? Is there anybody you`re dying to work with?

MANDEL: Alone.

BEHAR: What do you want to do next in.

MANDEL: I want to work alone. I`m not a people -- I don`t touch -- I`d die to work with myself. There`s enough voices and crap going on in here -- can I say that? Stuff going on in here that I don`t want to -- I would love to work with anybody. Anybody who offers me a job -- to be honest with you.

BEHAR: But when you watch a movie when people are kissing and are in bed together in films, don`t you think to yourself I could never do that?

MANDEL: I`ve done movies and had to kiss people. I don`t shake hands. It doesn`t make sense. I have children. I`ll have sex. I`ll hug.

BEHAR: But you won`t touch?

MANDEL: No, I --

BEHAR: You`ve never copped a feel?

MANDEL: Hands. I do, I have. I -- I will.

BEHAR: You have to feel.

MANDEL: Are you offering?

BEHAR: No, no, no, it`s all right. Somebody wants to know, you are color blind.

MANDEL: Yes.

BEHAR: They found out. How do you pick out your socks when you get dressed?

MANDEL: How do I pick out my socks?

BEHAR: How do you know what socks to wear? Just black or white?

MANDEL: Usually black or white. These are white. There`s not much of them. They`re a little short sock. Would that be a hard thing? In one word, granimals.

BEHAR: So whoever wrote that question, there. Let`s see. Will you do the voice of Miss Gismo the Gremlin for us?

BEHAR: What is that from? The Gremlins?

MANDEL: Good. There`s a movie in the `80s called the Gremlins. Gismo was -- you never saw gremlins? It`s a classic thing, not a big thing. I played a gismo. We he got wet -- it`s not really English. Just noises. You know, little noises like that. But they had me record it in every language for the different countries.

BEHAR: how do you do Italian?

MANDEL: Italian they would go -- whatever it was. Germany -- like --

BEHAR: Like Sid Caesar.

MANDEL: Or, you know, every language I spoke nothing. So they --

BEHAR: Can you do it in Swedish? That`s good. That`s very impressive.

MANDEL: I`m very -- it is very impressive. What is it? It`s just impressive. I don`t know what it is.

BEHAR: It`s impressive.

MANDEL: I am, like -- talent --

BEHAR: That is beyond.

MANDEL: People don`t even realize.

BEHAR: Yasha highfitz.

MANDEL: You know who my cousin is? Proman (ph).

BEHAR: Stop it. His new book is "here`s the deal: don`t touch me."

END