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Tiger`s Affairs; President Obama Picks Up Nobel Peace Prize; Interview With Margaret Cho

Aired December 10, 2009 - 21:00:00   ET


JOY BEHAR, HOST: Tonight on "The Joy Behar Show," as the number of women in Tiger Woods` stable grows, the number of endorsements in his portfolio drops.

Plus, a new video is released that gives a timeline of Tiger`s trysts. We`ll talk.

Then from the "Am I crazy, or what?" department, Obama picks up his Peace Prize a week after escalating a war.

Plus, I`ll be joined by my fellow comedian and social provocateur the fabulous Margaret Cho.

All this and more starting now.

OK. Let`s get right to it. One of Tiger Woods` alleged mistresses is porn star Holly Sampson. I love her work, don`t you?


In a video posted on "Naughty Americas" in May, she was asked if she had slept with any celebrities.


HOLLY SAMPSON, ADULT FILM ACTRESS: Oh, Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods, yes, that was --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: How did that happen?

SAMPSON: He`s like the whitest black boy you`ve ever met.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: His teeth are perfect and he`s like the perfect gentleman. He has beautiful everything, beautiful. I`m sure he would probably die to know we`re telling thing on the internet. But that`s OK. I don`t care. It was fun. It`s not like it`s a big mystery.


BEHAR: Aren`t they cold?


As Tiger`s mistresses scramble for media attention, his managers are scrambling to save his billion dollar brand. Here to discuss this, the Gerald Posner of "The Daily Beast" and the author of Miami Babylon, Bill Bellamy, actor and comedian, and Carlos Diaz a correspondent from "Extra."

First of all, that Sampson woman who said she slept with him, she said he did use a condom in that video, because they say he`s not a role model. So I wanted to put that out there.


But let me talk to you Carlos, because why didn`t anybody talk about this until now?

CARLOS DIAZ, CORRESPONDENT, "EXTRA": That`s the thing. When it happened in May, people blew this girl off as being topless and lying. You lose a little credibility when you`re topless.

But when the whole thing about Kobe came out, you know, and people were like -- because Kobe took Brandi to prom. So if you took Brandi to prom then you`ve got game off the court. But no one ever talked about Tiger ever any kind of game off the golf course at all.

So when you have a porn star talking about having sex with Tiger Woods, you know, people blew it off like she`s lying.


BEHAR: Not Tiger, yes.

Was Kobe Bryant named after Kobe beef? I just thought of it.

BELLAMY: No, no.


BEHAR: Let`s move on for a second. Ms. Sampson isn`t the only one speaking about her affair about her affair with Tiger. Here`s what Jamiee Grubbs said last night when asked about Tiger`s wife.


JAIMEE GRUBBS, WOODS` ALLEGED MISTRESS: I would be deeply sorry for her, never considering her during the whole process. And not -- him not bringing her up was just the way for me to just pretend that he didn`t have one and for me not to deal with it. But I`m not going to ever say what I did was OK.


BEHAR: Do you buy the apology?

DIAZ: I love the look on Bill`s face. It was like, didn`t he see "How to be a Player?"

BELLAMY: What`s crazy is like these girls, are they all telling the truth?

BEHAR: I know.

BELLAMY: And no one is actually saying at what time. You know what I mean? You almost make it seem it`s all during his marriage. But these chicks are coming out like hot cakes right now.

When I saw the Gatorade commercial, is it in you? It`s in everybody. I didn`t know it was like that.


BEHAR: Touche. Let Gerald let me bring Gerald into the conversation. Are you buying the apologies? Does it warm you heart?

GERALD POSNER, CHIEF INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER, "THE DAILY BEAST": Not at all. As a matter of fact, Tiger`s checkbook is supposed to be open right now, he`s trying to silence some of the women. But he`s not doing a very good job of it. They`re telling their stories. One is on "Extra," "News of the World" is hovering around. So he has lots of competition.

And the interesting this is off of what Carlos said a moment ago, I had the same feeling that Tiger didn`t have a reputation, so that`s why nobody was suspicious when any of these girls would come out.

But when I talked to caddies, talked to ex-tour players, talked with people who worked with the PGA, only eight, but those eight all said the same thing to me, which is he had a reputation as a hound. I was surprised by that.

So inside golf, when you talk to people inside the tour, they are not that surprised.

BEHAR: Here`s a text Tiger allegedly sent to Jaimee Grubbs in October. Tiger says "See you at 8:00 p.m. on Sunday at Newport. Don`t text me back until tomorrow morning. I have too many people around me right now."

You can`t say these girls are dumb. They save the e-mails. But how dumb is he that he doesn`t know not to send an e-mail to one of these bimbets?

POSNER: Joy, one of the things I said is that one of the rules is always have your caddie or your bodyguard do the in between. Never give out your telephone number, your cell, anything.

BEHAR: I have all guys here. Tell me, what is he -- what is wrong with him?

BELLAMY: I don`t think he ever thought about the ramifications, you know what I mean?

BEHAR: Why not?

BELLAMY: I don`t know. He`s not --

BEHAR: You know when he hits that ball, the ramification is it goes in the hole.

DIAZ: He`s untouchable on the course and thought he was untouchable off the course. That`s the bottom line.

BELLAMY: Exactly.

BEHAR: Is this like Bill Clinton where he thought Monica Lewinsky for once in her life would keep her mouth shut?


BELLAMY: I love that. That was hot.

DIAZ: I got it. I got to move on.

All these women kept quiet until one came out, and you know there`s strength in numbers. Once one women came out. But now all the women came out. But you know this, you have women who know that if they keep their mouth shut, they can go to Tiger six months from now and go "I kept my mouth shut. You can trust me."

BEHAR: They want their palms greased.

BELLAMY: How much hush money can you really have, because there`s so many girls, and the tabloids are going to get to them first. So they`re going to pay them a fee just for the story.

DIAZ: But Tiger can pay them much more. He`s worth more than the tabloids.

BEHAR: He`s worth more than "Extra," believe me.


Gerald, I can`t figure the guy out. I`m beginning to think he`s sociopathic.


BEHAR: Well, because the indiscretions are ridiculous at this point, and the way that he talks to the girls, telling them all he loves them and they`re all his girlfriend and presenting himself as if he`s their lover. It`s crazy. It`s almost like he wants them to love him back or some crazy thing is going on.

POSNER: Yes, Joy, it is amazing, because there`s one thing that`s very clear. To say that he has a problem, no doubt he has a problem --

BEHAR: Its` an understatement.

BELLAMY: Yes, and there`s also an arrogance involved here. It`s a bit of what Carlos was saying a moment ago. Here`s the world`s best golfer, who was raised from the age of three and give by his father to be the best, and he was. He`s a god of golf. And then he carries that over into his personal life. He wants it all.

BEHAR: He`s kind of egomaniacal.

POSNER: Complete narcissism.

DIAZ: There are two things with athletes -- they are ultra competitive, so they cannot turn it off when they come off the court, field, or the golf course. And the second thing is they`ve been handed everything their entire life. They`ve been told you can do no wrong.

That no one ever stood up to Tiger, especially and we`re not talking about the fact that his father passed away in `06. A lot of these transgressions happened after that. The main person in his life who told him no was "no" longer around to say "no."

BEHAR: So the father is like the super ego.

DIAZ: Exactly.

BEHAR: Now, Nike would have no endorsements if it wasn`t for him. Everything he wears is Nike. What is he going to do about that?

POSNER: There`s no Nike golf without it. Did you ever pick up a golf club before Tiger Woods came around?

BELLAMY: I was walking through the airport when I flew into New York. And just walking from the plane to baggage claim, there was about maybe six or seven different products that he was selling. I didn`t even realize it. There`s like financial stuff, Nike.

BEHAR: Do you think that his people can stop the bleeding at all?

He BELLAMY: needs to stay --

BEHAR: Gerald, what do you think?

POSNER: Boy, he does need a statement. He needs to get ahead of this, and the only way is he cannot hope that all of the TV trucks parked in front of his compound in Florida are going to drive away tomorrow if he keeps saying it`s a private matter and stays inside. He has to address it.

Nike is the one endorser that`s really going to stick with him.

BEHAR: He`s made a billion dollars already. Even if he doesn`t make any more money...

BELLAMY: He`s going to make money. He`s not going to stop playing golf, let`s be real.

The first thing he needs to do is make a statement like David Letterman and say "I`m screwing everybody. We`ll be right back after commercial."


Tell the truth, let everybody know he`s sorry and move on and win a couple of tournaments and in a couple of years...

BEHAR: He needs to go on the Oprah show.

POSNER: Yes. You can`t run.

DIAZ: He needs to talk to Oprah, but I ask the question, can he right now? Is his face in the physical condition that it was before the wreck because if he has one scratch anywhere on his face, they are going to freeze frame that and zoom in on that and say how did he get that scratch? He`s got to be the same good-looking guy we saw three months ago.

The whole thing with Gatorade saying they dropped him, that they made the decision. But you can`t tell me you dropped him. He was having one of the best years of his life.

BEHAR: Gatorade is an energy drink. They could use him.


BELLAMY: I`m buying me a bucket of Gatorade.


BEHAR: Thank you guys very much. I love to get the male point of view. Catch Bill Bellamy on the season finale on "Who`s Got Jokes" this Saturday at 10:00 p.m.

Back in a minute with the very funny Margaret Cho.



MARGARET CHO, COMEDIAN/ACTRESS: I don`t understand why people hate gay marriage. Like the people who hate gay marriage would never even know if gay people got married because they don`t know any gay people.


Let`s just not tell them.


You know, if they can have don`t ask, don`t tell, we can have, don`t invite.


BEHAR: That was from Margaret Cho`s concert special "Beautiful" out on DVD. Here it is.

Margaret is not only funny, she`s American, she`s Asian, she`s bisexual. She`s a one-woman rainbow coalition. Margaret Cho, how are you, doll face?

CHO: I`m doing great. Thank you, thank you.

BEHAR: It`s good to see you. You know, I keep talking about you as a bisexual, people keep saying that. What does it mean to be a bisexual? I knew a guy who said "I`m bisexual. I like gay men and straight men."


CHO: Well, I like gay men and straight men myself as well.

BEHAR: Yes, so do I.

CHO: But bisexual is a little limited for me because I also like people who are transgender. So I am a big fan of that as well. So I think it would be -- bisexual is a little limited because I believe that there are more than two sexes, more than two genders.

So I`m kind of -- I`m very open to this idea of being able to fall in love with people in different bodies, people who are just different. That`s my definition.

BEHAR: But what kind of women do you like?

CHO: I like really butch women. I like them real butch. You know the kind of woman who rolls her own tampons.


BEHAR: That type? That is butch. Give me an example.

CHO: I think my -- well, you know, somebody -- somebody I think -- Rachel Maddow is a good example of somebody who I think is very sexy.

BEHAR: I think she`s very fem, actually, my own take on her.

CHO: Very fem, but very beautiful. That`s my type. That`s definitely my type.

BEHAR: She is beautiful.

Let`s talk about gay marriage. Do you have a cold or something?

CHO: No, I`m all excited about Rachel Maddow.

BEHAR: I hope it`s not swine flu.

CHO: No.

BEHAR: Let`s talk about gay marriage for a second. You know, California missed the boat, New York missed the boat, now Jersey has missed is boat. Is it going to happen or not? Should we put it on the back burner for the moment, or what?

CHO: We cannot put it on the backburner. How can we allow ignorance like this to continue in our country? It`s about putting it on the backburner. It`s about really understanding that we have a problem in this country with ignorance, with hatred, with just a lot of misinformation.

People feel like it`s OK to discriminate against gays and lesbians, and it`s not fair. We are treated like subhuman citizens. It`s not right. This country is not what this is about. We have to be equal. We have to all be equal, and for this to happen we need marriage equality to happen.

BEHAR: Maybe all these heteros who hate gay marriage will put a ban on straight marriage after this Tiger Woods debacle going on. What does that say for straight marriage, this whole scandal?

CHO: I know, exactly. It just magnifies the idea that straight marriage means nothing. People who are straight obviously do not take the vows seriously enough. And we have so many people who love each other who just want to be families.

And this is what all of this gay marriage business is about. Why are we not allowed to create families? How are we not allowed to be a family? This is absolutely un-American, this idea.

BEHAR: Speaking of Tiger Woods -- do you know him at all? Have you slept with him?

CHO: I have not. But I do think that he is much too good looking to be with. And this is the problem. When you have to -- when you have a guy that`s that good looking, of course he`s going to cheat, come on.

BEHAR: There are plenty of good-looking men who don`t cheat.

CHO: Really?

BEHAR: Let`s see, who are they?


That`s the thing about it, Margaret, ugly guys cheat too. They just cheat.

CHO: They do. And nobody cares.

BEHAR: Nobody cares. It`s just because he`s such a great golfer and he`s so famous that everybody is on it. And he`s a good looking guy. He always had such a pristine image, I think. So now --

CHO: I know.

BEHAR: Now it`s tainted.

Let me ask you a question. What did you think of Adam Lambert`s problem with ABC and CBS where they canceled him?

CHO: I thought it was like Jim Morrison. I think of Adam Lambert a lot like he is like the queer Jim Morrison. He`s challenging all of us to realize that sexuality can be beautiful, that we can be different, that we can celebrate his sexuality.

He`s bringing a new kind of male sexuality to music, to rock `n` roll in the same way that Jim Morrison did. I think he`s so electric, so alive, and he is the greatest rock star right now. He`s so exciting.

BEHAR: He`s a very talented guy. Do you think that whole thing was canceled because of homophobia, or was it --

CHO: Absolutely.

BEHAR: Because all of the movements that he was doing in the performance was sexual, it wasn`t just gay simulation. He also stuck his hand up a girl`s dress too.

CHO: I know, which I love. I love how he`s playing with all these different kind of sexualities, and he`s so modern, so new, so unique. And he`s embracing the rock star stereotype, which is about challenging sexuality.

Look at David Bowie, who was doing that in the `70s. Also Jim Morrison was doing that in the 60s. They couldn`t shoot him below the waste because he was making all those gyrations, just like Elvis. He is a queer Elvis, and that`s such an exciting thing.

BEHAR: That`s true. I forgot Elvis got into trouble a long time ago with his gyrations. And you got into trouble too, because I was reading you were kicked off the Obama election team because you trashed Sarah Palin. What did you do?

CHO: I didn`t trash her. I just said I don`t like her politics, but the problem is I want to have sex with her.


BEHAR: Well, yes. A lot of people seem to be attracted to her. Is it just that she`s pretty, is that it, or do you just like women who can`t make a sentence -- can`t complete a sentence?


CHO: I think that`s what it is.

BEHAR: I should talk, right?


All right, Margaret, stay right there. We`ll have more with Margaret Cho when we come right back.



CHO: People like to come to me whenever they have an Asian problem. Like when they can`t finish their Sudokku.



BEHAR: I`m back with the delicious Margaret Cho. Margaret, in your standup show "Beautiful" this one right here I`m showing --

CHO: Yes.

BEHAR: ... you talk about beauty and how women are stuck in these sort of stereotypes about what`s beautiful. Tell me a little about that.

CHO: Well, it just really is about how certain types of beauty are valued more. Like the whole show is sort of based on the -- I did an interview on this radio station where this deejay said, what if you woke up tomorrow and you were beautiful? What if you woke up and you were blond, had blue eyes, you were 17 and weighed 100 pounds and you were beautiful?

And I`m like, why am I not beautiful now? How am I any different from that? Why does skin color or age or hair color make me less beautiful? Why is that a description of beauty? So I took the show from that idea, that`s the sort of departure point, because I`m just sick of it.

BEHAR: I hear you, I hear you. But a lot of people in the beauty business have no imagination. They keep pushing the same type over and over again.

By the way, how is your mother? I love when you talk about your mother. How is your mother.

CHO: She`s doing great. She`s obsessed with this guy -- my friend is not married and my mother hates any young woman who is not married. Her name is Jackie, and she`s like, Jackie, Jackie, I know a dentist, he`s perfect for you. He`s very tall but he is not good looking. But that`s good because you cannot see his face very well.


BEHAR: Your father is writing joke books in Korean?

CHO: Yes.

BEHAR: You come from a wacky group. Your parents are fun.

CHO: I do. They are a lot of fun. They`re going to be singing on my new album. I have an album of comedy songs coming out, and one is with my parents. So that will be out next year. But they are a lot of fun.

BEHAR: I have some Twitter questions for you before we wrap this up, OK?


BEHAR: People are very interested in you. The first one is "Can you ask Margaret if she finds Kim Jong-il attractive?

CHO: Kim Jong-il? Well, uh --

BEHAR: He`s the president of --

CHO: I know who he is. Of course I know who he is. I`m very interested in his pleasure corps. He supposedly has an army of young women to service him. I would be more interested in his pleasure corps more than I am in him.

BEHAR: He`s no beauty. He has to pay for it, right?

CHO: He has to pay for it with the blood of the country, the blood of his people.

BEHAR: This one says "Has she finally just accepted herself for all that she is? She struggled so long with image problems." This is something we were just talking about.

CHO: I just feel gorgeous now. I feel like if I start talking about how beautiful I am, others will follow suit. And I`ve been doing it for the last couple of years and it really works.

BEHAR: Really.

CHO: If you start saying that you`re beautiful, and it works.

BEHAR: This person says "Would Margaret ever consider getting plastic surgery? I ask because so much of her humor comes from her facial expressions and Botox would run that." They want you to stay exactly as you are.

CHO: That`s good. I like it. Thank you. I will, I will.

BEHAR: And congratulations on staying married. I heard it`s to a man, right?

CHO: I`ve been married since 2003. So it`s working out good.

BEHAR: Good for you, girl. Thank you very much for doing the show. The new DVD is called "Beautiful." Thanks, Margaret.

We`ll be back in a bit.


BEHAR: Welcome back. We`re talking Tiger Woods. Because we can. Joining me with news so fresh, it`s actually from tomorrow. It`s TMZ`S Assignment Manager Mike Walters. Mike, where is this story leading to next?

MIKE WALTERS, ASSIGNMENT MANAGER: Well, I`ll tell you what, by the end of today you`ll know who mistress number four is, and that`s the big news. Remember, there`s a girl in Orlando who lives by Tiger who he spent years with, and she`s the only one out of all these women, I can`t even count them with two hands, that hasn`t been named. This girl is coming out today, and she`s coming out strong.

BEHAR: And I think from what I`m hearing, she has the most information that could hurt Tiger. But that leads me to the last part of this, and that is I think that Tiger and his attorneys are trying to stop this, it`s like a leaking sieve, and they`re trying to stop it. And I hear basically they`re now on the prow to get this stuff corralled in and stop it where it is so Tiger can move on with his life from here.

BEHAR: How can they stop it? With more money, that`s all. Just pay them off.

WALTERS: Yes well there`s two ways. One, you get them all in and you settle with them and get them to sign confidentiality agreements or you round up the information and start suing for defamation. Start throwing stuff at them with your big pit bull attorney in Los Angeles saying that`s not true, that`s not true, you can`t say that.

BEHAR: I hear there could be a sex tape coming out now, is that true?

BEHAR: Actually, that story came from wishful thinking of guys like Steven Hursh over at Vivid Entertainment. They wish there was a sex tape and they would pay big money for it, but there is no Tiger Woods sex tape. Believe me; it will never come out because it does not exist.

BEHAR: Ok, I`m glad to hear that. Keep on the story, because we can`t get enough.

WALTERS: I will.

BEHAR: Thank you Mike.

Now in a shocking twist, I have it on good authority people other than Tiger Woods are also making news these days. Seriously, a whole bunch of them. And one of them is actually the President of the United States. Go figure. Here with me now are Stephanie Miller, host of the "Stephanie Miller Show" and Arianna Huffington, co-founder and managing header of Welcome, ladies.


BEHAR: So President Obama picks up his Nobel Peace Prize today and here`s part of his acceptance speech.


PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF UNITED STATES: I come here with an acute sense of the cost of armed conflict. Filled with difficult questions about the relationship between war and peace, and our effort to replace one with the other.


BEHAR: Call me crazy, but war and peace are oxy moronic, if I may say.

STEPHANIE MILLER, HOST, "THE STEPHANIE MILLER SHOW": That`s why they wrote a book about it.

BEHAR: Yes, and so how do you think he did addressing the assembled, since him just, you know, is escalating the war in Afghanistan, he`s picking up the peace prize. I don`t get it.

MILLER: I know. I thought Kanye West might try to interrupt him and take the prize. But that did not happen. I, you know, Joy, to me, you know, I get your point but I just feel like these are two messes that he inherited from Bush. Everybody knows that. He didn`t start these wars; he`s trying to finish them. And I`ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

I understand the arguments against it, but the President has been right I think on a few things so far. The CBO is showing he`s right on the stimulus, I think he`s right on health care and I say give him the benefit of the doubt, and give him the chance to finish this war.

BEHAR: No, I`m a big fan, I`m a huge fan of his Arianna, and so are you I know. But this sounds crazy to me that he`s getting a peace prize for this. I don`t get it. Tell me what you think.

ARIANNA HUFFINGTON: Well, you know, Joy, I think that the irony, the supreme irony of this, first of all it was addressed in his speech when he said he was a product in a way of the moral force of Martin Luther King`s non-violent response to what was happening. But he says then he is the head of state and he needs to address threats to the American people and this is really the problem, Joy. He has not defined that threat. There is no way that he`s actually explained to the American people why escalating the war in Afghanistan is going to make us less safe. There`s absolutely no explanation for that. We are going after the Taliban. We`ve been told that we only have 100 Al Qaeda members left in Afghanistan. The danger is in Pakistan and yet he we`re escalating in Afghanistan. It doesn`t make sense. It`s illogical. And that`s the fundamental problem.

BEHAR: And even - even the Dalai Lama is pissed off at him. He says he`s -- how bad do you have to be to piss of a Buddhist?

MILLER: He`s notoriously catty, the Dalai Lama, you know that Joy.

BEHAR: But I mean he says his advisers are advising him incorrectly, so that leaves him off the hook a little bit. What do you think about that?

MILLER: I think the Nobel is -

BEHAR: Is he right?

MILLER: Let`s face it Joy, it`s the not George Bush prize. And I think frankly there should be a prize for not being George Bush and this is it.

BEHAR: I would go along with that.

HUFFINGTON: I think it`s important for people who obviously supported Obama, like we all did, to actually be really clear cut about what he`s doing right and what he is not. I think this is our job. It`s not our job to be cheering leading. Cheer leading did not work very well in the eight years of the Bush Administration. So let`s not fall into that trap right now.

BEHAR: But you know Arianna, I think he did say during the campaign that he was going to go into Afghanistan. He didn`t pretend that he wasn`t.


MILLER: And by the way Arianna, who are you calling a cheerleader, give me an o, give me a b -- okay. I agree, I agree, I get your point. Look, this is a tough one for me as a Liberal. I`m not a fan of war. As a woman, I`m not a fan of the Taliban. If we could perhaps airlift anything with a vagina out of Afghanistan, I would be fine.

HUFFINGTON: This is not being anti-war, this has something to do whether this is a necessary war, and it is a war of choice. And the wars of choice are by definition immoral. It was a necessary war back in 2001 when Osama Bin Laden --

BEHAR: Yes, but that ship has sailed.

HUFFINGTON: Yes, that ship has sailed so let`s not pretend it hasn`t.

BEHAR: Ok, let`s move on I walk to talk about Glenn Beck. He`s constantly telling his viewers to buy gold and has ads running during his shows. But what`s interesting is that Beck is a paid pitchman for a gold firm called Gold Line. Isn`t this a conflict of interest, ladies? And why do people buy it?


MILLER: I don`t think -- I think a bigger issue is - they might want to look into is if he`s crazy. He is completely crazy.

BEHAR: Well he`s crazy like a fox and he`s a very rich, crazy guy if he`s just crazy. So I don`t totally accept that he`s crazy.

MILLER: Well I love that there`s some sort of implication is that there`s a sort of ethical standard at FOX news.

BEHAR: Well that maybe the mistake. Well Arianna, he never discloses to his audience that he`s a paid spokesperson for Gold Line. I mean, why are his viewers taken in by him?

HUFFINGTON: I know. You`re absolutely right. I actually agree with everything wrong that can be said about Glenn Beck. I cannot imagine why Barbara Walters whom we all love - I cannot understand why she picked him as one of the most fascinating people because I have no F words for him. My only words are d words, despicable, dangerous, and definitely dumb. There`s something about him --

BEHAR: And every d word in the vocabulary. Barbara picks people not because they`re good people but because they`re fascinating.


HUFFINGTON: No, that`s not fascinating.

MILLER: I think men should only cry when something heavy falls on them, Joy.

BEHAR: Yes, and maybe someday something heavy will fall on him. Let`s talk about the Salahis, those crashers. They`re annoying, aren`t they? They got subpoenaed to appear before the House Homeland Security Committee on January 20th. This is an invitation they can`t turn down.

HUFFINGTON: Oh the Salahis.

MILLER: Here`s my idea -- no, they can. My idea would be to put them on an island with the balloon people and, I don`t know, any of the other annoying -- maybe like a sort of the "Lord of the Flies" thing where they get to kill each other with a rock eventually. Something likes that.

BEAR: But what should happen to them, Arianna?

HUFFINGTON: I agree with Stephanie. I think that they should end up in jail and share a cell with the parents of the balloon boy. Because all of them have distracted us. You know not just us, the public, but they`ve also taken away major time from police efforts, secret service efforts and also they need to be punished in a way that makes it clear for others who want to sort of do whatever it takes to get their 15 minutes of fame.

BEHAR: Ok, so the top distracters are the Salahis, Tiger Woods, let`s go to that for a second. I mean, is it annoying to you, all the talk about Tiger or do you enjoy it? Because I`m having a little fun with it, I have to admit.

MILLER: You have to admit, the more and more women there are, was he playing nine holes or 18 holes?

BEHAR: Maybe 36. Arianna, what do you think about Tiger? I don`t know if I ever asked you of this.

HUFFINGTON: Well, my favorite sort of response to Tiger that sums up everything is what one of the mistresses said about how she felt betrayed because she thought she was the only mistress -


HUFFINGTON: And Stephen Colbert`s line about how he violated if sacred contract between one husband and one wife and one mistress. Is really the problem with that?

BEHAR: I know it`s true --it`s sort of sad, isn`t it?

MILLER: Wait Joy, what is with these guys? Like how stupid they`ve got to be. Like the message on the machine, hi, it`s Tiger Woods, you know, the famous golfer. This isn`t being recorded is it?

BEHAR: I know it`s just unbelievable. Stephanie, Arianna

MILLER: Eliot Spitzer, should I just sign the giant check governor of New York? And no one will notice that.

BEHAR: And for a smart guy we don`t know how smart Tiger is. But we know Spitzer was a bright guy. But they -- at the end of the day, you know what they say, when Mr. Happy gets big, the brain gets small, something like that. Stephanie, thank you, guys. Coming up, plastic surgery for kids. That`s the next topic.


BEHAR: One of the little surprises inside the new senate health care bill is something they`re called the bo-tax, a proposal to put a 5 percent tax on elective cosmetic procedures Here to discuss this is are actress, designer, and the fabulous Linda Dano, Dr. Frederick Lukash, plastic surgeon specializing in adolescent, and Diane Archer, Director of the Health Care Project At Institute for America`s Future. Is that how I said it right? I said it right, ok. Let`s start, welcome to the show. First of all, is this a good or bad idea, doctor?


BEHAR: It`s a bad idea? Why?

LUKASH: Total, it`s completely discriminatory. It`s discriminatory against women. 91 percent of all cosmetic procedures are done on women.

BEHAR: That`s right. Is that unfair to women, do you think Belinda?

LINDA DANO, ACTRESS/DESIGNER: I do too, I think so. And I think a lot of the procedures are done, I think I`m right about this, Middle America, middle income women. You know $30,000 to $90,000 a year.

LUKASH: Well as a matter of fact, 71 percent of patients having plastic surgery across the nation earn less than $60,000 a year. So it`s a tax on the middle class, which they`re not supposed to be doing.

BEHAR: Well this is an elective tax, this is an elective procedure, it`s not necessary.

LUKASH: Well that`s a whole other issue. The issues then come to who determines what`s elective, what`s not, what`s cosmetic, what`s functional, who determines what the tax should be? If someone is having a nose, say a nose surgery, part of it is functional, part is cosmetic, what percentage is functional, what percentage is cosmetic?

BEHAR: If it`s about breathing, you don`t get taxed.

LUKASH: But how do we divide that up? But how do we divide that up, Joy?

BEHAR: The old deviated septum routine. Do you know that?

LUKASH: No, I`ve never heard of that before. But How do they figure out what percentage gets taxed and what percentage doesn`t.

BEHAR: Ok Diana, you don`t think it will hurt moderate income people, why?

DIANE ARCHER, DIRECTOR, and INSTITUTE FOR AMERICA`S FUTURE: No, I don`t think it will hurt moderate income people because as you said, it`s an elective procedure. As you said it`s by definition, people don`t need these cosmetic procedures. But what we know people need is access to health care at an affordable price and lots of low and moderate income people can`t afford health care today. So what the senate is trying to generate the revenues that will help ensure that everybody in America can afford health care.

BEHAR: Ok the proposed tax increase will raise $5.8 billion. Won`t some of that go towards helping low income people get health care?

LUKASH: How do we know?

BEHAR: Well we would have to make that happen maybe.

ARCHER: It`s targeted for --

BEHAR: I`m not the president, I don`t have any, - I know how you do that. If I knew -- go ahead.


ARCHER: The subsidies, they`re giving low and moderate income people help paying for insurance premiums with these dollars.

BEHAR: You`re saying this is a lifestyle tax, Diane - it`s kind of like.

ARCHER: It`s a lifestyle tax. It`s like an alcohol tax or a tobacco tax.

BEHAR: Well that`s a sin tax, that`s a sin tax. It`s a little different.

ARCHER: It`s the same idea. It`s for something that people enjoy doing that -- or wants and find beneficial in some way.

BEHAR: Well if you`re a chain smoker and you drink and you have nice cheekbones, you`ll be out of business. You`ll have no money left. Right?


DANO: Exactly. Let`s say - let`s say -- we had a child and she was 14 and she had a large nose and she wanted work done on that. She would have to be charged that 5 percent. And you know what? For her self- esteem, for her confidence. I don`t always think that - I mean I had it done 10, 11, I don`t know, 12 years ago.

BEHAR: What did you have done?

DANO: I had a whole face-lift. I did it for work. I did it so it would extend my life as an actor. And I think it did - it helped. And you know, completely came apart on television like now. And -- But I paid a lot of money.

BEHAR: Is it holding up?

DANO: Yes, yes, but I paid a lot of money. I went to a great doctor.

BEHAR: You might have to do it again, what happens then? You`re not going to do it again.

DANO: I won`t, I won`t, but I`m saying I know what you`re saying that it is a frivolous thing or it`s an elective thing. But in a lot of cases with mostly women, of course, they do it for really personal real reasons, emotional reasons.

BEHAR: I know but you know, doesn`t it feed into the whole looses in the society as it is?

DANO: I know. No, no.

BEHAR: When a girl hates her nose because she`s 15 and --

DANO: Yes, but if everybody makes fun of you and it`s like dieting. You know how you feel when you lose weight?

BEHAR: But we`re in the clutches of this craziness too Linda. So I`m saying maybe it just encourages the craziness.

LUKASH: What about the child whose ears stake way out?

BEHAR: Well that`s different.

DANO: That`s the same thing

LUKASH: The insurance companies consider that cosmetic. So does that mean that now this middle income family that did not create this situation, but pure -- poor little kid who is called dumbo and is being picked on, the parents who want the ears pinned back?

BEHAR: They have to pay for it. And look its being genetic that cause this kid to look like Dumbo.

LUKASH: I understand that.

DANO: Joy Behar! Joy -

BEHAR: I don`t agree with that. I mean why should I --

DANO: I`m embarrassed for you.

LUKASH: That`s your view on it. Then that`s your view on it

BEHAR: I mean why should I have to pay for some kid`s ears? I don`t agree with that.

LUKASH: But you`re not -- I`m not arguing that point. What I`m saying is why that family should --

BEHAR: You`re saying why won`t the insurance pick it up? We`re all contributing to the insurance companies.

LUKASH: But why should they pick up the extra 5 percent on top of that?

BEHAR: Well because it`s like an elective idea. It`s like ear plugs. And John Bono with his tans should he be paying the extra SPF?

DANO: Well that`s the other think; you opened up this can of can worms of tax, any tax on anything. You`ve opened that door and what`s next? When you have your nails done, you`re going to pay a 5 percent surcharge on it?

BEHAR: Listen, I think it`s more important to pay tax on elective surgery than on food for example, things that are necessities. But that`s my opinion; you don`t have to agree with me. Why do celebrities not want to talk about their plastic surgery? You went out there and said that.


DANO: I know, when I had mine, I blurted it out that I was going to have work done. Because Kathie Lee -- I was on "Regis And Kathie Lee" that`s how long ago this was and I just said it, oh, yeah, I made an appointment. And everyone went berserk. I said to everyone, the only reason I came out with that comment was I knew that if I ran into you on the street of New York and you said, Linda, my god, you look great. BEHAR: You look gorgeous.

DANO: Did you go to a spa? What did you do? I would have said without even batting an eye, I would have said to you know I just had my face done, because that`s who I am.

BEHAR: But doctor, you must come across a lot of people who refuse to admit t you know, why don`t they admit it?

LUKASH: It`s a privacy issue; they don`t have to talk about anything that they do.

BEHAR: That`s true. That`s true. But a lot of movie actors and actresses --

LUKASH: That`s one fringe area n point of fact; I do a loft adolescent plastic surgery and teenagers the reality they don`t want to discuss it with anyone. They want to get it done - they want to feel good about themselves-

BEHAR: They want everybody to think they are natural beauties?

LUKASH: Well they just want to fit in. They don`t want to discuss it with anyone and I think that that`s actually the best way to be.

BEHAR: Ok. Thanks very much to Diane and Linda. Be sure to look for Linda Dano`s Home Collection on QVC in January.

DANO: Oh thank you.

BEHAR: Right back with more. Don`t go away.


BEHAR: Back with more of our conversation about plastic surgery. Now, we have been talking to Dr. Frederick Lukash and joining our conversation now are Lynne and Raquel Curtin, mother and daughter from "The Real Housewives of Orange County."



BEHAR: Hi. Hi, girls. You had the plastic surgery together. What exactly did you do?

LYNNE CURTIN: Well, I had the facelift and the upper neck lift and Raquel had her nose done.

RAQUEL CURTIN: I had a nose job.

BEHAR: How old are you?

R. CURTIN: I`m 19.

BEHAR: Well, you know, I guess you are of the age where you can make that decision yourself -- so?


BEHAR: So did you enjoy being together, like a mother and daughter bonding thing?

L. CURTIN: Yes. I loved it I`m so glad that we did it together.

BEHAR: See, in my time, you just had a manicure with your daughter. This is a little excessive, in my opinion. But whatever.

L. CURTIN: Hey, you know what she actually -- this is the nose she would have been born with because she actually had a little accident happen when she was 14, she got hit in the face. So, she did have a little bump on her nose.

BEHAR: You know I use that excuse also. I got hit in the face, `cause I have a bump, I never took it out.

L. CURTIN: Well, you are beautiful.

BEHAR: Yes, whatever.

CURTIN: Oh, come on.

BEHAR: You know a lot of -- doctor, a lot of younger girls, Raquel is 19, but a lot of younger girls, 1413, 12 are having plastic surgery. Do you advise that? I mean what is the cutoff age for that?

LUKASH: Well, different procedures are done at different times. And tough look at different procedures for what they are. There is no set cutoff; you look at each person as an individual. But obviously, there has to be emotional maturity, physical maturity, and a family agreement plus a sense of realization that the doctor has to be part of the concert with --

BEHAR: What about the pain involved? Ladies, there was a lot of pain for you?

R. CURTIN: I didn`t have any pain. Like, I mean, yeah, I mean a little bit, but not -- not what I was expecting, you know sniffs expecting to be like, oh, my gosh, but no.

L. CURTIN: She didn`t have -- I don`t think she had any bruises.

R. CURTIN: I hardly any bruising.

L. CURTIN: Me, too. I didn`t have --

BEHAR: You didn`t have any bruising either, Lynne?

L. CURTIN: No bruising. I thought I was going to look like a train wreck victim or something. I looked -- I was fine. I was just a little swollen for about three days and I was in Florida in a week.

BEHAR: Did you have any concerns that your teenage daughter electively going under the knife, Lynne or did you just feel ok let her do it?

L. CURTIN: Well we had one of the best doctors in Southern California, we had Dr. Millen Onbay. And he was remarkable. I was totally confident with him. One of the women on the show, Tamar, her mom went to him and when I saw the results and I saw his booklet and I just was amazed. So definitely I felt very confident that she was in good hands.

BEHAR: Well we touched on this before, but don`t you think it gives a bad message to kids they have to fix themselves over and over again, just really --

LUKASH: I think that is part of an issue, but I think if there is an issue, plastic surgery, at least the way I view it is one part of the wheel of self-esteem, one spoke, one arrow in the quiver and something we look at if there is a structural issue.

BEHAR: Ok, thanks very much. Thanks to my panel for joining me tonight. To see more of Lynne and Raquel`s plastic surgery, tune into "The Real Housewives of Orange County" this Thursday at ten. And thank you all for watching. Good night, everybody.