Return to Transcripts main page
Joy Behar Page
New Developments in Tiger`s Drama; Interview With Levi Johnston
Aired December 11, 2009 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
JOY BEHAR, HOST: Tonight on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, Tiger Woods keeps popping up, so to speak. We`ll take a look at the newest developments in the golf great`s not so great holiday season.
Then Levi Johnston took his clothes off for a lot of money, for "Playgirl" magazine but it seems he didn`t take off enough.
And we`ll go from that boy to that girl, as one of my favorite people, Marlo Thomas, joins me in the studio.
All that and more starting now.
Well, it`s been a rough week for the boys. Tiger Woods has a bimbo explosion on his hands, and Levi Johnston`s playgirl shoot is deemed a bust and Jon Gosselin has some legal trouble.
Here to discuss are comedian JB Smoove -- very funny; Stephanie Miller, host of the syndicated radio show "The Stephanie Miller Show"; and Carlos Diaz, correspondent for "Extra". Could this week have gone any worse for Tiger Woods?
JB SMOOVE, COMEDIAN: Oh, my God, man. Right now Tiger wishes that he could take one good swing and make everything go away. Just like, "Oh, it`s gone, that`s it." Put the green jacket on him.
BEHAR: I think that`s what his wife tried -- the wife tried to do that.
STEPHANIE MILLER, HOST, "THE STEPHANIE MILLER SHOW": The only thing that would have been worse is if we found out the eight kids of Kate`s are actually his.
CARLOS DIAZ, CORRESPONDENT, "EXTRA": See the thing is -- we`re at Christmas season and the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa, Santa stops at three ho`s.
It`s been terrible for Tiger and every day there`s new information. And it`s not just one story. There`s like multiple stories on different levels.
BEHAR: I know.
MILLER: Joy, as a woman, I`m sure this caught your eye. I was going down the list, as we all did of the women. No offense, but no Supreme Court justice is on the list.
BEHAR: He should start dating Sonia Sotomayor to really clean up his image. Or Madeleine Albright -- somebody.
MILLER: No neuro surgeons?
BEHAR: One of Tiger Woods` alleged mistresses is porn star Holly Sampson. Listen to what she said about Tiger in this video posted on "Naughty America" in May.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
HOLLY SAMPSON, PORN STAR: Oh, Tiger Woods. I (EXPLETIVE DELETED) Tiger Woods. Tiger (EXPLETIVE DELETED). Tiger Woods, yes...
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: How did that happen?
SAMPSON: He`s like the whitest black boy you ever met in your life.
(CROSSTALK)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Gorgeous -- I mean you`re gorgeous too.
SAMPSON: Teeth are perfect and he`s like the perfect gentleman. He`s beautiful, beautiful everything. Just beautiful.
I`m sure he`d probably die to know I was telling this on the Internet. But that`s ok. But I don`t care. It was fun. It`s not like it`s any big mystery.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Are we at the point where a topless woman is more credible than Tiger Woods?
SMOOVE: Is that crazy? They`re sitting there topless, right? And then they say that he`s the whitest black guy ever.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: What does that mean? When she says the whitest...
SMOOVE: There are black guys who are white. There are white black dudes -- you know what I mean.
BEHAR: Like who?
SMOOVE: Everybody knows a black dude.
BEHAR: Give me -- what does it look like?
SMOOVE: Everyone has seen a white dude -- white black dude that hangs around with all the white friends. He never had his hair cut nice. His hair is always -- he`s never had a shape up. He never had the bald cool. He doesn`t have that cool look. He doesn`t trim his mustache. He just looks like a regular dude. You know what I mean?
BEHAR: All right.
SMOOVE: White guys don`t cut their hair all the time; they just kind of look kind of shaggy. Ever see a shaggy black dude? Shaggy black dudes hang around with white dudes.
MILLER: You know, I can`t believe we`re even discussing this.
DIAZ: Darius Rucker is really mad right now but ...
BEHAR: Unlike Tiger, his mistresses saved all of the e-mails. Now, how dumb is Tiger that he actually let this thing go this far? And have everything in writing? Even I know better than that.
MILLER: The other thing, you`ve seen his wife, right? So I asked a lot of my guy friends, like why? It`s the same reason a dog licks themselves, because they can, I guess.
BEHAR: Let me read you one of the e-mail messages all right. Tiger: "Do you have a boyfriend?" Jaimee: "I don`t even have someone I`m dating. No, you can be my boyfriend." Tiger: "Then I am." Jaimee goes, "I wish." Tiger says, "Quiet and secretively, we will always be together."
Duh -- quiet and secretively? No, you`re not.
DIAZ: There are athletes all over this country so mad at Tiger Woods right now it`s not even funny. Seriously, he`s blowing the lid off of cheating athletes all over this country because -- and I said it before and I`ll say it again -- 90 percent of all athletes, male athletes who are in marriages, cheat. It`s a fact, and it has happened from Babe Ruth through Tiger Woods.
BEHAR: Babe Ruth?
DIAZ: Oh, yes, Babe Ruth.
BEHAR: Babe Ruth?
MILLER: Are you kidding me?
DIAZ: He was the biggest womanizer on the planet. You look at any biography of Babe Ruth, they talk about his ladies nonstop.
BEHAR: Women will go for anything.
MILLER: How dumb is that message, quietly and secretively, it`s not like I`m famous or like this is being recorded.
SMOOVE: Babe ain`t the most handsome brother.
BEHAR: Who, Tiger?
SMOOVE: No, Babe Ruth. He had the gut, and he had the little stubby thing going on when he ran to the bases. And the dude was always in black and white. Why is the guy always in black and white? Where is this guy`s color? Why was he always in black and white?
BEHAR: I don`t know.
DIAZ: I don`t know JB, I don`t know.
SMOOVE: No color at all. Why?
(CROSSTALK)
MILLER: Also, he was like the Pillsbury Dough boy.
SMOOVE: No color to him at all. Why?
BEHAR: Let`s talk about a friend of the show, Levi Johnston. He was my guest recently. "The New York Post" reports his "Playgirl" shoot hasn`t raked in too much dough for the magazine. But "Playgirl" says it`s been a huge success because of the publicity. Do you think that his decision to wuss out and not go full Monty has hindered the sales or is it just because "Playgirl" is now on the Internet and you can sort of get those pictures on my show and on the Internet?
SMOOVE: Let me tell you what happens with that. Let me tell you something. When you agree to show your pee-pee in a magazine, right?
BEHAR: Yes.
MILLER: That`s so cute.
SMOOVE: When you got a big mouth, the big mouth is supposed to match your pee-pee, right? Once you open your big mouth and you`re on TV talking about Sarah Palin, you have a big mouth right now and your pee-pee must be shown so that we can match the pee-pee with your big mouth.
BEHAR: Ok. Stephanie, do you think people have reached the Levi saturation point? We haven`t reached the Tiger saturation point but maybe the Levi saturation point.
MILLER: I did want to see the junk, he`s right. Although he`s from Alaska, maybe there was significant shrinkage, it`s cold. If you can`t even see it around a hockey stick it can`t be all that.
BEHAR: You know, he`s writing a book about his life. He`s probably going to throw some more bombshells at Sarah Palin. What do you think about that?
DIAZ: And he`s doing everything he can. It`s no coincidence that Sarah Palin`s big stance was being a hockey mom and he`s got a hockey stick and hockey gloves in everyone of the nude photos he`s in.
So he`s doing everything he can to grab his 15 minutes from Sarah Palin. But I agree with you guys. I`m a straight guy and if I don`t see the junk, I`m not going to pay my $19.95 to playgirl.com.
SMOOVE: You should not be carrying a hockey stick and a puck. It should be a bat and a ball, right? I don`t know. Or bat and balls, I don`t know.
BEHAR: Levi was on my show this week and here`s what he said about being a gay icon. Follow this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: You come from a conservative background, right?
LEVI JOHNSTON, FATHER OF SARAH PALIN`S GRANDSON: Right.
BEHAR: And Alaska is not the most liberal state, yet you seem to be very comfortable being a gay icon.
JOHNSTON: Growing up in Wasilla, it is. I`ve never seen a gay guy in Wasilla, I don`t think.
BEHAR: You never saw a gay guy.
JOHNSTON: I mean, I`ve seen gay guys.
BEHAR: Look around, they`re all over here -- they`re all over the place.
JOHNSTON: Once I started doing all these tours and everything, you know, they`re people too.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Well, gay Alaskans were none too happy for that, so they invited Levi to meet with them. Should he take them up on the invitation?
The blog response from the gays in Wasilla was, we have strong survival instincts. And know better than to look, act or talk queenie in a town like this. They`re scared probably.
What`s the next thing for Levi do you think? What should he do next to keep his face out there?
SMOOVE: Re-shoot. Do a re-shoot, right? Let the junk hang out, right?
BEHAR: Let the junk hang out.
SMOOVE: Let the junk hang out and do your thing.
BEHAR: I think the junk was in the trunk. You`re getting it all mixed up.
DIAZ: For guys, the junk`s in the front.
BEHAR: Oh, the junk`s in the front for the guys.
DIAZ: Yes, exactly yes.
SMOOVE: He got to re-shoot.
MILLER: Maybe with some of Tiger`s girls. They seem like they can have quite the intellectual discussions, the girls in the topless video there.
DIAZ: I think we need reconciliation. I think we need Levi and Sarah to actually come together as one now and put their differences aside. That`s the next thing.
BEHAR: Oh, that`s never going to happen.
Closing out this trifecta is Jon Gosselin. His lawyers faced off in court against TLC Thursday, saying TLC violated child labor laws by filming Jon`s kids. TLC says Jon violated his contract and ruined the show by banning the kids from being on camera. Who`s going to win this fight Carlos?
DIAZ: No one`s going to win this fight. Jon lost this fight the minute he said that TLC should stop shooting the kids. I said it before and I`ll say it again, the minute they said they were getting divorced, they should have put the kids off to the side and they should have had the entire show be about divorce. They gave away the product for free to NBC News to ABC News.
They shouldn`t have done any interviews beyond TLC. That entire fight between Jon and Kate should have been broadcast on TLC for money.
MILLER: I mean, I love the fact that it just occurs to him that maybe reality TV isn`t so good for the kids. I love that. When the checks were clearing he was fine with it.
DIAZ: He`s about to find out that reality TV, when it`s gone and those checks are no longer there and he wants to be a career guy, it`s really tough to make $75,000 a week.
BEHAR: Really? That is true. That is hard.
SMOOVE: Bottom line is, Jon, go home, man. Go the hell home.
BEHAR: You think he`s watching this show?
SMOOVE: Go home, Jon. He`ll hear about this man even if he`s crazy. Go home Jon. Take your ass home Jon.
BEHAR: He`s a bad husband.
SMOOVE: Go home, man.
BEHAR: I understand that his wife might have a little show. But Jon`s girlfriend had this to say earlier this week after finding out he cheated on her.
Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
HAILEY GLASSMAN, JON GOSSELIN`S EX-GIRLFRIEND: He became a monster. Jon got really bad when he met the Hellers. He became a compulsive liar; just a monster after he met the Hellers. He started going downhill.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: The Hellers are his management team and his lawyers and everything. She was very surprised. She`s cheating with a guy who`s married who has all these kids. Now she`s surprised that he`s the dishonorable man. Is that the height of hypocrisy or stupidity, which is it?
SMOOVE: Once someone goes too far and call you a monster --- monster is a big word. A monster?
DIAZ: And amazingly, he was saying that they were soul mates -- just months ago, they were soul mates.
BEHAR: Now he`s a monster?
DIAZ: Now he`s a monster. How do you go from soul mates to monster that quickly?
BEHAR: You can do that pretty easily. Have you ever been married? Trust me.
MILLER: Here`s my favorite thing is when the reality people like the Jon and Kates and the Salahis now are just like, "This scrutiny is horrible. It`s scaring us." Do we have a reality show yet?
BEHAR: Thank you, guys, very much.
If you`re in New York, make sure you catch JB Smoove performing at Comics Tonight this Sunday night.
Up next, the rest of my interview with Levi Johnston; I can`t get enough of that boy.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JOHNSTON: Well, they threw me out there and that came out that Sarah really didn`t like me. Todd -- I knew Todd didn`t like me, I mean, so they were kind of trading me at the same time and back-stabbing me, you know, just putting up a front to me to make Sarah look good at the convention and everything else. And so I really don`t care anymore.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Are you hurt by all this?
JOHNSTON: I was, yes. Now, it`s just kind of like, all right, well, now it`s my turn.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That was Levi Johnston on "The Early Show" dishing a little dirt on the Palin family. Levi joined me earlier this week to talk about the in-laws that never were and his decision to strip down for "Playgirl".
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
BEHAR: First of all, you backed out of the whole total full Monty thing, didn`t you?
JOHNSTON: I did. Yes.
BEHAR: Why?
JOHNSTON: You know I just got to thinking, you know, I was just like, I`m only 18 or 19 years old, and I just didn`t really want to get into the whole, like, porno, porn-sex thing kind of deal.
BEHAR: You realize you`re a gay icon now? You realize that?
JOHNSTON: I do. Yes.
BEHAR: In fact someone told me that there`s a gay porno movie with a look-alike of Levi. How do you feel about that?
JOHNSTON: OK, let them do what they`re going to do. But yes, I just didn`t want to get into that kind of thing, so, you know I just didn`t want to regret something when I was older.
BEHAR: What do you mean by that? Did you always want to pose for "Playgirl"?
JOHNSTON: No, I just mean like - I could have done it with underwear, you know, like I did...
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Oh I see you didn`t want to have the regrets that you`ve showed everything.
JOHNSTON: Yes.
BEHAR: But how does it feel to be a gay icon? It`s interesting to me; you come from a conservative background, right?
JOHNSTON: Right.
BEHAR: And Alaska`s not the most liberal state and yet you seem to be very comfortable being a gay icon.
JOHNSTON: Well you know, growing up in Wasilla. It is. I mean, I don`t know, I`ve never even seen a gay guy in Wasilla. I don`t think.
BEHAR: You never saw a gay guy? Look around they`re all over here. They`re all over the place.
JOHNSTON: I mean I`ve seen gay guys but, you know, once I started doing all these tours and everything, you know, I just - you know, they`re people, too. I just you know -- it doesn`t matter to me. I just you know, more fans, that`s great.
BEHAR: Yes. Ok. We have a sneak peek of some of the new Levi "Playgirl" photos the long-awaited hockey pics. Let`s see those. Oh, yes.
They`re going wild at the ramrod right now I`ll tell you right now. I like how they put my name on his behind. That`s very charming.
Now, you know, do you think of this as pornography? Because your faux mother in laws said she sort of knocked you as you sort of in the porn business now.
JOHNSTON: I don`t really see it like that no.
BEHAR: You don`t. You see it as a great art? Michelangelo level?
JOHNSTON: Sure, yes, beautiful yes.
BEHAR: Well you look damn good. I`ll tell you right now. I don`t want to be a cougar all over you.
I have a couple of Twitter questions I want to ask you. People - - you don`t Twitter?
JOHNSTON: I don`t, no.
BEHAR: OK, the Palin house, no, this is not it. This is it. Ask him why he thinks his penis is so special that anyone would want to see it? Well, that`s a crazy question because you already said you`re not showing it.
JOHNSTON: It is yes, that`s quite a question for someone to say, but I don`t know - I just...
BEHAR: Let`s see, if Sarah Palin decided to run for president or some other public office, would you feel obligated to disclose further things about her character?
JOHNSTON: No. I don`t think. You know, what I`ve -- what I haven`t said is going to come out in the book. But some things probably won`t ever be said...
BEHAR: When`s this book coming out?
JOHNSTON: I don`t have an exact date yet. But it will be out soon.
BEHAR: You keep threatening in some of the interviews I`ve seen that you have more and more stuff.
JOHNSTON: Well, I do have things. But I`m not -- there`s some things I won`t say and there are some things that are going to come out in the book.
BEHAR: Just one little tiny one for here.
JOHNSTON: That you probably want, I know.
BEHAR: It`s my show. I need a little something-something here.
JOHNSTON: No.
BEHAR: Nothing.
JOHNSTON: Nothing.
BEHAR: You`re giving me nothing. After all we`ve meant to each other.
All right. Let`s see, Sarah says that she was very controlled by the GOP campaign leaders. You know, in her book. She`s all over the McCain people and Steve Schmidt, you know about that, right? Was Levi given strict rules also during the campaign by Sarah ordered by the GOP?
JOHNSTON: About the only thing I got was a smile, wave, shut up, don`t talk to anyone. Make me look good, basically.
BEHAR: How about the wardrobe they gave you? Did you -- tell me about that. In the "Vanity Fair" article, you say something about how she was delighted with all the clothes. And she was like all excited about getting all these expensive clothes, right?
JOHNSTON: I think everyone was loving it. But yes.
BEHAR: But she kind of plays that down. You know, I`m just a country girl from Alaska.
JOHNSTON: Oh yes, yes. No.
BEHAR: You don`t buy it.
JOHNSTON: No.
BEHAR: What do you think about this other allegation that she`s been flying all over the place in a private plane? And then she shows up in the town that`s she`s signing books for and then gets on the bus.
JOHNSTON: I`ve seen all that, yes. She`s got a little gig going. She`s got her own picture on the bus and everything, yes.
BEHAR: Does it bug you that she`s so popular? She`s very popular, she`s got a high approval rating and they just went up again.
JOHNSTON: Well, that`s good for her.
BEHAR: I think she`s more popular than you are...
JON: Well, she won`t be...
BEHAR: ... but you`re more popular in the gay community.
JOHNSTON: That`s right, that`s what counts.
BEHAR: That`s what really counts.
JOHNSTON: Yes.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
BEHAR: The Palins may not want him, but maybe a gay couple will adopt him.
Coming up, comedian Mo Rocca tells us why there`s no I in glee. Ok. Stick around.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MO ROCCA, CONTRIBUTOR, CBS SUNDAY MORNING: There`s a reason it`s called show choir.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Five, six, seven, eight.
ROCCA: If it looks like hard work, it is.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That was Mo Rocca, contributor to CBS "Sunday Morning with Charles Osgood" exposing the dark underbelly that is the glee club in America.
Hi Mo.
ROCCA: Hi, how are you?
BEHAR: How are you?
ROCCA: Good.
BEHAR: Why glee clubs, is it a dangerous assignment? I mean...
ROCCA: A little bit, because it is very hard. We had to do pushups, crunches and lots of stretching and then we actually did our vocal exercises. There`s a show on Fox "Glee" that has a lot of buzz...
BEHAR: "Glee", big popular show.
ROCCA: It`s very popular...
BEHAR: Yes.
ROCCA: I always wanted to be in show choir and my high school didn`t have one. I`ve now become something of a show choir activist. I think that it should be compulsory.
BEHAR: Yes.
ROCCA: I think, you`ve singing and dancing is not only fun, it`s as hard as team sports, it doesn`t get the respect but you really have to operate as a team. There is no I in glee.
BEHAR: That`s adorable. But in the show, there`s a football player on "Glee" who is in the glee club.
ROCCA: Yes.
BEHAR: He`s a jock, and he`s sort of ashamed being in the glee club.
ROCCA: And Joy this still exists today.
BEHAR: Why is he ashamed of it?
ROCCA: Because, let`s face it, the guys that do glee club and show choir in many parts of the country are still considered sissies -- they are treated pejoratively and it`s -- I mean, it`s very hard and you have to have guts to do it if people are going to make fun of you.
At this high school in Ohio that I went to...
BEHAR: Yes.
ROCCA: ... there was a football player...
BEHAR: Right.
ROCCA: ... who was not letting his teammates know that every week he was going to show choir rehearsal.
BEHAR: Yes.
ROCCA: They all found out now...
BEHAR: Right.
ROCCA: ... because it was on CBS.
BEHAR: But it seems like the jocks hate the glee club.
ROCCA: Yes, yes.
BEHAR: Is it that...
ROCCA: Well, they`re like Sunni and Shia. It`s terrible. And the cheerleaders are like herds, I guess.
BEHAR: Yes, yes. But why do they hate them? I mean, it`s hatred you`re talking about.
ROCCA: Because when you sing and dance and one of the cast of "Glee" told me, and I thought she was right, you show a certain vulnerability. When you learned -- you express yourself when you were singing and when you`re learning to dance, you can look sort of silly.
BEHAR: Yes.
ROCCA: While you`re trying to get the steps right. So it`s a kind of vulnerability.
When you`re playing football, you`re wearing all this armor, it`s a costume, I supposed you`ve call it. And then -- and you just bump into each other like bumper cars, right?
BEHAR: But -- I guess.
ROCCA: I`m going to get my butt kicked after this.
BEHAR: You`ll get your butt kicked. But I mean, how do the comedians in school take it? Are they annoyed with the constant, the relentless smiling and perkiness of the glee club? No...
ROCCA: I can tell that you have an anti-glee club past.
BEHAR: No, I don`t but I could just see my group in high school making fun of the glee club because there`s the -- it`s like the Osmonds on steroids.
ROCCA: Right, it is, or yes, you can think of like the Jacksons. I`m trying to think of something good. No -- yes, I think probably individuals make fun of it, because it`s all about, you know, being in lock step.
BEHAR: Yes.
ROCCA: Like salmon going up a stream.
BEHAR: I see.
Now, you also actually performed something called Doodie-- the character Doodie in "Grease"...
ROCCA: Oh yes.
BEHAR: In the touring company in the southeast. What was that about?
ROCCA: In Southeast Asia.
BEHAR: Oh in Southeast Asia.
ROCCA: Yes.
BEHAR: It says the southeast...
ROCCA: No, no, no. I`m only...
BEHAR: That would be Florida.
ROCCA: Yes, no, Florida. No, Indonesia is far more interesting.
BEHAR: "Grease" in Indonesia.
ROCCA: Yes, yes standing room only in Jakarta. I played Doodie the youngest of Greasers we had to edit it. Because remember Rizzo in "Grease"?
BEHAR: Yes.
ROCCA: I think she might be pregnant and in this Islamic country that`s a little bit racy.
BEHAR: Oh they don`t get pregnant in Islamic country?
ROCCA: Well, not in their Islamic musical theatre. Their version of "Grease" is very, very short. And they could void singing and I mean, you`re going to be messed up.
BEHAR: Ok.
ROCCA: Right in Indonesia.
BEHAR: Well, thanks, Mo. It`s lovely to talk to you as always.
We`ll be back in just a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: That was a clip from the classic sitcom "Roseanne." Earlier this week, creator and star Roseanne Barr stopped by for a little chat. My bosses were especially happy about her first comment; see if you can tell why.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
BARR: I`m thrilled to be on your show. I stayed longer so I could be on your show. But I just want to say I love your show so much.
BEHAR: Thank you.
BARR: I love the block of you three women, Jane, Nancy, and Joy. I watch it every single day of my life. I watch it multiple times in multiple rooms. I watch it when it comes on and I watch it when I go to bed for the things that I missed.
BEHAR: Wow.
BARR: I want to say as a woman, I am just thrilled to hear these three strong women`s voices talking about things that I care about and I just, you know, I`m thrilled.
BEHAR: And you have a radio show. You must be doing the same thing, right?
BARR: Well I have two radio shows. One of them is you know a great, public, what do you call it, free speech radio KPFK on Tuesdays.
BEHAR: Like an NPR thing.
BARR: Yes. Like an NPR thing.
BEHAR: It doesn`t pay much
BARR: No, it doesn`t pay anything, but I`m trying to help them raise money because I believe in that free speech radio. The other one I pay to do. And I buy my own radio time on Sunday for two hours on a station called KCAA radio.com. Because nobody wants to hear it, so I`m going to force it down their throat.
BEHAR: So this is not exactly a money making operation. But you`re out there doing your thing.
BARR: I`m rich. But this is a way for me --
BEHAR: How rich are you exactly?
BARR: not as rich as people think I am.
BEHAR: I mean it`s a sitcom that`s very successful. You were the creator of it.
BARR: I only own a fraction of it. I only own a fraction of it. But the sitcom itself made something like a billion dollars for Viacom and ABC and I received a tiny fraction that. But it was enough.
BEHAR: But it was enough. And you got all these kids to support.
BARR: I have five kids, five grand kids.
BEHAR: You gave birth to all five of them?
BARR: I sure did.
BEHAR: They popped out of you, all five.
BARR: The last one they had to remove.
BEHAR: With what?
BARR: I had to get a c-section for my last kid, because I was really old.
BEHAR: How old were you?
BARR: I was like 44. I was like, it will be all right. I`ll be 60 when he graduates from high school, not knowing, here he is 14 and I can barely wake up for any of that - and just laying in bed.
BEHAR: It was shocking to me to see you with gray hair, because we were looking at some pictures before you were blond, and a friend of mine, my friend Donna was in Los Angeles and she has gray hair. And she said, a woman at one of the hotels said to her friend, look, and gray hair. Yes, like it was so -- such a phenomena it was gray hair. Do you experience things like that?
BARR: Yes, like I went and pitched some stuff at networks and all the women were like this.
BEHAR: Staring at you.
BARR: And then down to my turkey waddle neck and back up. It`s kind of like, how dare you. That`s what I thought.
BEHAR: It`s like against the sisterhood someway.
BARR: This is the most radical thing you could have ever done. But I like it, because I know it makes people mad, so I like it.
BEHAR: But you have had plastic surgery. I remember in the old days when you had a lot of stuff done.
BARR: I had the vaginal rejuvenation.
BEHAR: The vaginal rejuvenation.
BARR: Now I`ve got the junior.
(LAUGHTER)
BARR: No, I didn`t get that one yet.
BEHAR: What else did you get?
BARR: Well, I got a nose job. I had no eye lids. I got eye lids. You got to do it all when you`re 39. I did it when I was 39.
BEHAR: Is that when you do it?
BARR: That`s what they say, because then it takes you to the rest of your life. So I`m like 57 now. It`s been a while.
BEHAR: It`s been awhile. You`ve had an interesting lifestyle. This Tiger Woods story let me ask you about it. How far down the driveway would he have gotten if you were married to him?
BARR: Well you know, Joy, there was a time in my life where I was physically abusive to my husbands and threw things at them while they were asleep and put things in their food like Exlax and stuff like that.
BEHAR: Really which husbands are those?
BARR: Every one of them.
BEHAR: Tom Arnold?
BARR: Yes, all of them. Yes but then I realized it isn`t domestic violence is not right when women or men do it, so you know I.
BEHAR: That`s right.
BARR: So like it was. Right that I threw things at any of them.
BEHAR: No, that wasn`t right.
BARR: No.
BEHAR: But what would provoke it, I`m just curious?
BARR: There were a variety of things. I`m a moody person. Believe it or not, I`m not an easy woman to live with.
BEHAR: No really?
BARR: No, I`m not. But I infidelity I can understand where Elfin -- infidelity is the thing that provokes a lot of people, male and female to violence.
BEHAR: So you know what it is, it`s betrayal.
BARR: It`s total. Yes.
BEHAR: you feel like how come he`s not picking my storm windows up? It`s a detail I recall.
BARR: Storm windows?
BEHAR: The little details of fixing things around the house. Once he`s gone with somebody else, now you`re stuck with all the little things in the house that you can`t do and he doesn`t fix them for you and that`s the betrayal that you feel.
BARR: I just think it`s like the lowest thing anybody can do. It`s just a low, lying -- it`s just a --
BEHAR: It`s an epidemic.
BARR: If he had any -- he would say I`m bored about you and move on. But it`s always about money. That`s what`s sickening. I`m going to get to do this and not get caught. Because if I get caught it`s going to cost me some money. I think that`s what people think, male and female.
BEHAR: Well he`s offering her, the wife Elin, a lot of money, to stay with him for seven years.
BARR: I hope she doesn`t do it. Aren`t you sick of hypocritical women just going like, hey you know, it`s like just above street whore. She should leave him kick him to the curve. She has her own money - she doesn`t need anything from him, she should just be like I`m not one of your whores--
BEHAR: I don`t know that she has her own money.
BARR: She does. She`s an international supermodel. Are you kidding?
BEHAR: Well, not his kind of money, he`s worth $1 billion.
BARR: She has enough money where she doesn`t have to stay with a guy like that who has gone with every waitress he ever met.
BEHAR: And a couple of porn stars now.
BARR: She needs to move on. I hope she doesn`t stay with him like all of these women milly mouth women that stay with their cheating. I never stay if somebody cheats on me. I never stay if someone cheats on me.
BEHAR: No, you stab them.
BARR: I didn`t go so far as to stab --
BEHAR: No, just the Exlax.
BARR: I could pick up a dresser.
BEHAR: An angry woman could pick up a dresser. Your name changed quite a bit. You were Roseanne Arnold, now you`re Roseanne Barr again and you had another name in between there didn`t you.
BARR: Yes, yes, yes. Kentland Thomas.
BEHAR: Are you still friends with that husband?
BARR: Yes, I`m friends with every husband that I`ve had children with.
BEHAR: Oh so you and Tom Arnold?
BARR: No, we`re not friends.
BEHAR: He got married again.
BARR: I heard that he did. Wish him the best, wish her the best.
BEHAR: Yes, that was a bad time, I think, for you wasn`t it?
BARR: It was the worst time of my life.
BEHAR: Really?
BARR: And all -- I was getting all of this fame too. So it`s like you lose your balance and you`re like -- it was like being in the -- in a hurricane.
BEHAR: Yes. I can imagine. But people were criticizing him more than you at that time. Because they were saying he was on your coat tails, but he`s done well for himself, thanks to you. I don`t know that he would be famous without you.
BARR: Who knows.
BEHAR: I don`t think so. You know you have some quotes on your blog that interest me. You`re very radical in some of your thinking, which I like. Pedophiles need to be euthanized like mad dogs. I agree with that.
BARR: Yes. The first time -- the first time they`re caught. Don`t give them a second chance. You don`t give a rapid dog --
BEHAR: You would kill them. The lethal injection?
BARR: Yes, whatever it takes.
BEHAR: You rape a child, you`re dead.
BARR: You ran over a child, you`re dead. Drawn and quartered or whatever. And I think when men decide that they`ve had enough that they`ve seen their kids abused enough that I think men will do it. That`s one thing where I think it`s cool when guys get together and protect the community they`re supposed to protect.
BEHAR: Uh-huh. Now, what do you think of Sarah Palin?
BARR: Well I think she`s really likable. And I think that`s a little scary because the stuff she says is half nuts -- she`s half crazy and out of her mind, but she`s likable. And a lot of us know people like that. But I have this feeling. If you and me took her out and we got her, you know, drinking and talking we could turn her.
BEHAR: You think so?
BARR: I do. I do. Because I think she`s like a slave to these, you know, Right Wing men that -- that`s like the only way a right wing woman can make it, you know.
BEHAR: Really, you think so?
BARR: The only way a woman can make it in the Right Wing or the Conservative, whatever the hell you want to call it, Republican, is to be against all other women. And that is what she does.
BEHAR: I see.
BARR: So if I and you got her, and we`d be like telling her the truth, and we take her out to drink and we go like this - no, you got to be for women. See -
BEHAR: I`d say.
BARR: No, you got to be for women. And I think we could turn her. I think she`s never really talked to a real feminist.
BEHAR: Let`s call her.
BARR: And I think that -- I think she`s not happy in her marriage.
BEHAR: How do you know?
BARR: Because you can tell.
BEHAR: Well, her faux son-in-law says they have separate bedrooms. I don`t know if it is true or not. Levi.
BARR: Did you love the interview in Vanity Fair?
BEHAR: He told a lot of stuff. But you don`t know if it`s true or not.
BARR: No, you could tell she goes in her bedroom with the "Star" and the "Enquirer" for hours. She`s that kind of woman. That`s why she`s likable.
BEHAR: Yes.
BARR: That`s like us.
BEHAR: We can relate to her.
BARR: Yes, but we have to go, dude, you`re on the wrong side of things.
BEHAR: But you know I don`t like what happened to her at a recent book signing. A man threw two tomatoes at her and missed.
BARR: That`s disgusting.
BEHAR: That I don`t like. Because if they`re going to throw tomatoes at her, me and you and any woman.
BARR: Well, any woman.
BEHAR: Yes, any woman -
BARR: I don`t like where she is treated badly because she`s female. I think that`s so wrong. And I think that the lesson --
BEHAR: Yes but we`re not going to vote for her until she becomes a true feminist, right?
BARR: We`ve got to wise her up and take her out.
BEHAR: We got to wise her up. Let`s go moose hunting with her.
BARR: I don`t - like -
(END VIDEOTAPE)
BEHAR: I kind of like that moose hunting idea. Then again, do I really want to be around Sarah Palin when she`s packing heat? I don`t think so.
Coming up, the actress and social activist Marlo Thomas.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That`s Marlo Thomas from her ground breaking TV special "Free to Be You and Me." She also, of course, played the role of Ann Marie on "That Girl" and is currently the national outreach director for St. Jude`s Children`s Research Hospital. Did I say it right?
MARLO THOMAS, ACTRESS, AND NATIONAL OUTREACH DIRECTOR FOR ST. JUDE`S CHILDREN`S RESEARCH HOSPITAL: You did it beautifully.
BEHAR: Oh get - You know people don`t know that you also -- you have a tremendous resume, it`s not just those two things. You played that mentally ill woman, what was the name of that?
THOMAS: Oh, Nobody`s Child.
BEHAR: Marie --
THOMAS: Volter. Did you know her?
BEHAR: Yes -- no, I didn`t know her. I`ve known other mentally insane people.
(CROSSTALK)
THOMAS: All our friendly director heeded it.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: But not that one. But the director is Lee Grant.
THOMAS: Right, right.
BEHAR: I know. But before we go any further, how is Phil?
THOMAS: He`s wonderful.
BEHAR: Phil`s good.
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: And how do you and he see the Oprah thing? She`s leaving the show.
THOMAS: You know - we haven`t really talked about it.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Because he -- you haven`t discussed it.
THOMAS: No.
BEHAR: What do you think of that?
THOMAS: Well, I don`t -- I`m happy with her. If that`s what she wants to do, that`s fine with me. I`m glad you have a show.
BEHAR: I`m glad I have a show, yes.
THOMAS: Good.
BEHAR: Well she`s going over to do her own network -
THOMAS: Well, that`s nice.
BEHAR: It`s just that you know Phil and Oprah were on at the same time.
THOMAS: Right.
BEHAR: We watched both of them. We loved both shows.
THOMAS: Right. Yes.
BEHAR: So, I was just wondering -
THOMAS: No, we didn`t have much of a comment. You can take a life line and call them.
BEHAR: So - no, that`s all right. I`m sorry we don`t want to call them now.
THOMAS: Ok.
BEHAR: So let`s talk a few hot topics.
THOMAS: Ok.
BEHAR: Like Sarah Palin, she was on book tour. She`s on a book tour. What do you think of her book, did you read it?
THOMAS: No.
BEHAR: No one has read it.
THOMAS: No.
BEHAR: Everyone talks about it but no one has actually read it.
THOMAS: I read the Andre Agassi book. Now, that`s a great book.
BEHAR: Really, why?
THOMAS: Oh, yes. Well because you really see what motivated this guy and it`s loaded with passion and obsession and wanting to do well and wanting to win. And in many ways, it`s a lot like Tiger. He had a father who made him hit 2,500 balls a day. And by the time he was 16, you couldn`t beat him. Then all his demons came in.
BEHAR: That`s what happened to Tiger I think.
THOMAS: I really do. I think Tiger is a guy who didn`t have a childhood, didn`t have an adolescence. You know I`m a Hollywood baby, I grew up in Hollywood, and this is very much what happens to child stars.
BEHAR: Did you not have a childhood?
THOMAS: I was a normal kid. I didn`t have a career. I`m saying child stars, the kids who grow up from 5 years old and they`re in the shows and stuff.
BEHAR: It`s very difficult.
THOMAS: They never -
BEHAR: They all turn out a little demented I notice.
THOMAS: They never grow up.
BEHAR: None of them are exactly --
THOMAS: I wouldn`t go into demented.
BEHAR: Well not demented, that`s an exaggerated word,
THOMAS: Right. Right.
BEHAR: But it`s a fun word. But I want to talk about Sarah for a second because she calls herself a feminist. Now you`re a feminist.
THOMAS: Right.
BEHAR: You know I`m a feminist. Did natural childbirth, no eye makeup, no lipstick, and you know you married a feminist, Phil Donahue?
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: And my Steve is a feminist. We`re all feminist. Do you think Sarah Palin is a feminist?
THOMAS: I don`t know what Sarah Palin is, I really don`t.
BEHAR: Well what is the definition of a feminist?
THOMAS: A feminist is someone who believes that everyone has the right to live their own life openly and it`s a humanist. A feminist to me is a humanist. That`s what you and I are about. To say to boys and girls, you can be anything that you want to be. But so I don`t think being a feminist is what`s off-putting about Sarah Palin. I think the fact that she`s very rigid in what she believes and seems to be not very inclusive of other people`s feelings and what they want out of life.
BEHAR: Well I would think if you are a feminist, you believe in gay rights -
THOMAS: I would think. I do.
BEHAR: You believe in civil rights.
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: You believe in women`s rights.
THOMAS: Right, yes.
BEHAR: And children`s rights.
THOMAS: That`s right.
BEHAR: And animal rights.
THOMAS: Right.
BEHAR: Right.
THOMAS: And does she?
BEHAR: I don`t know. I haven`t really interviewed her. For some reason, she doesn`t want to come on the show.
THOMAS: And no one has read her book so - BEHAR: I don`t know why.
THOMAS: And no one has read her book so, no one knows what she really thinks.
BEHAR: We just talk about the book. Now Barbara Walters, our pal, she had the most fascinating people thing this week.
THOMAS: Right.
BEHAR: And she said that Glenn Beck was one of the most fascinating. Do you find him fascinating?
THOMAS: No, I don`t.
BEHAR: You don`t?
THOMAS: No, I don`t.
BEHAR: Do you think he`s interesting in any way?
THOMAS: No, I don`t.
BEHAR: You don`t.
THOMAS: I mean isn`t he the man who called for the murder of Michael Moore on television or radio?
BEHAR: I wouldn`t put it past him.
THOMAS: Yes he did.
BEHAR: Well he called Obama a racist.
THOMAS: Well anybody who calls for the murder of somebody probably shouldn`t be on the airwaves.
BEHAR: Really?
THOMAS: Well, I don`t think so. The murder of someone?
BEHAR: I agree with that. But listen --
THOMAS: So don`t do that, Joy - that`ll get you --.
BEHAR: I won`t. I won`t. I take back the demented word also, in case anybody is listening. Which I don`t even know if they are. You know, Molly, you`re writing a book about comedians, is I right?
THOMAS: I`m writing a book about my life.
BEHAR: Yes.
THOMAS: It`s called "Growing up Laughing"
BEHAR: And your father was the great Danny Thomas.
THOMAS: Yes he was.
BEHAR: Very funny man.
THOMAS: And I wrote about all these comedians that I grow up with. And then I interviewed a few comedians that I really admire, like Chris Rock, Jon Stewart and you.
BEHAR: And me, yes you did.
THOMAS: And wanted to see well, how did you grow up laughing? You know, how did - why did you think you think you were funny? You said you thought you were a whack job as a little kid.
BEHAR: People used to think that I was crazy because I used to imitate Jerry Lewis.
THOMAS: Well that will do it.
BEHAR: For the full of rush man. That was my only audience.
THOMAS: You were desperate.
BEHAR: And what about Chris Rock, how did he grow up, do you remember what he told you?
THOMAS: Yes, it`s interesting thing I said with all your foul language, I watched all your specials in a row, because I had seen them before, and he`s talking about be responsible for your children, don`t cheat on your woman, you know, don`t steal, go vote, give a damn about your society. I said to him, you`re kind of a preacher, aren`t you? And he said, well actually my grandfather and great grandfather were preachers.
BEHAR: So you see it`s genetic.
THOMAS: So there it is.
BEHAR: It`s right there.
THOMAS: It`s right there. Everything we do comes from our childhood.
BEHAR: But were you laughing as a kid all the time?
THOMAS: Oh, god, yes. That`s why I called it "Growing up Laughing." our house was hysterical. And you know my father`s barber was funny. He had a barber named Harry Gilbart. Who turned out - he had this son, 16- year-old son, he said to my dad, Ray, I think he could be funny. So this kid comes around at 16 years old and sits in the writing room and throws in a few jokes and finally he gets a few more jobs and he became Larry Gilbart who created -
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Larry Gilbart -- the great Larry Gilbart.
THOMAS: The great Larry Gilbart.
BEHAR: Well I didn`t -
THOMAS: Yes, yes.
BEHAR: That`s a great story.
THOMAS: Yes read my book.
BEHAR: I will when you finish writing it. When is that going to be?
THOMAS: I turn it in the end of January. I`m so superstitious about talking about it because it isn`t finished. Like - I`m still -
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: You finish it because now you have to finish it because you said it on television.
THOMAS: Right.
BEHAR: We`ll be back with more from Marlo Thomas. Stay right there.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
THOMAS: Amber is the only girl on her tee ball team.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And I`m better than the boy.
THOMAS: I bet you are.
Amber has a rare cancer that only 18% of children survive. But St. Jude Children`s Research Hospital helped discover a bold new treatment and today her cancer is gone.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And I can play tee ball again.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: I`m back with the lovely and talented Marlo Thomas. You know Marlo; your father started St. Jude`s Hospital.
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: And what was that like for you? I mean, it`s a very, very, you know, wonderful thing to be doing, giving to take care of these children who are in terrible condition.
THOMAS: Right. The most important thing is that no child is ever turned away if a family can`t pay. So what I`m doing is trying to raise the money to help so that we can always keep that promise. My dad made that promise that no child would ever be turned away and that all of our research would go directly to the scientific community worldwide. That`s made us the leader in leukemia and brain tumors and on and on.
BEHAR: It`s all children, right?
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: What`s the cut-off age there?
THOMAS: 18. But we`re seeing them in their 60s because we follow them the rest of their lives.
BEHAR: Oh that`s wonderful.
THOMAS: It`s important for us to know, can they have children, how`s their kidney, how is their eye sight. But St. Jude is very different. I think the reason we get so much attention is because we`re not just a hospital. We`re a research center and a treatment center. So every child has a scientist and a doctor, which gives them a chance of really saving their lives.
BEHAR: Your father said something wonderful. He said quote, "there are two kinds of people in this world, givers and takers. The takers sometimes eat better, but the givers always sleep better."
THOMAS: Right. It`s true, too.
BEHAR: It`s so true.
THOMAS: It really is true. And it`s amazing. Just the other day I opened up my mail and there was a check from David Geffen for $1 million.
BEHAR: Wow.
THOMAS: Yes. He said I`m proud of you and what you`re doing.
BEHAR: Now you see, Tiger Woods should send you a check for $2 million now. That would help his image.
THOMAS: He`s already built the pavilion at St. Jude`s.
BEHAR: Ok well we need more.
THOMAS: He`s built the library.
BEHAR: Really?
THOMAS: Oh yes.
BEHAR: Good for him.
THOMAS: Yes, he`s been very good to St. Jude.
BEHAR: That`s something people should know. We`ve been making fun of the whole thing and trashing him because of his behavior, but that is a great thing to put out there, that Tiger Woods -- he gives money to St. Jude`s.
THOMAS: Oh absolutely. He built the library. The Tiger Woods pavilion. He`s been very active.
BEHAR: What other rich people shall we shame now? Bill gates? Does he give you money?
THOMAS: No. We haven`t asked him for money.
BEHAR: He`s the richest man in the world.
THOMAS: We have all these retailers. If you go to Kmart or William Sonoma, CVS or Pottery Barn, Domino`s Pizza they`re going to ask you money for St. Jude and I`m going to raise $702 million this year.
BEHAR: Wow, good for you.
THOMAS: We all are. It`s a big team.
BEHAR: What do you learn from the children?
THOMAS: What I learn from the children is the total face of humanity. You look at these kid whose are fighting for their lives and what you see is strength, you see compassion. Compassion even for their parents. I`ll say to a little kid, how do you feel today? He`ll say, I don`t feel so good, but don`t tell my mommy. I don`t want her to worry. That`s like a 6 year old kid.
BEHAR: Breaks your heart.
THOMAS: Oh, yeah. They take care of each other. One little bald kid will be taking another little bald kid over to show him where the candy is or the toys are. You really do see who we could be if we just wanted to take care of each other and just be very, very real.
BEHAR: You do a great job, Marlo. I have to tell you.
THOMAS: I`m happy to do it. I`m in between everything else, I`m doing Elian Mace a new play.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Oh that too - oh you`re busy all the time. But the St. Jude`s thing --
THOMAS: It`s wonderful. I`m very proud of it.
BEHAR: Thanks for doing my show.
THOMAS: Thank you.
BEHAR: Thank you all for watching. Good night, everybody.
END
