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JOY BEHAR SHOW

Elin Woods Leaving Tiger?; Sarah vs. Arnold

Aired December 16, 2009 - 21:00:00   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


JOY BEHAR, HOST: Tonight on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, with only nine filing days left until Christmas, Tiger Woods` wife, Elin, has reportedly spoken to one of the country`s top divorce lawyers. Will Santa drop down Tiger`s chimney and take away 50 percent of his goodies? We`ll discuss.

Then in speaking about America`s need to fight climate change, Arnold Schwarzenegger throws Sarah Palin under the dog sled.

And from "Saturday Night Live" actor, comedian, my doppelganger Fred Armisen joins me. Now, that is one beautiful woman, huh? All that and much more, starts now.

Here`s a shocking twist in the Tiger tale. A mere 14 women have been linked romantically with the uber golfer. Yet today new reports say Tiger`s wife is planning to head to divorce court. Does anybody believe in the sanctity of marriage anymore besides me?

Here to discuss are Dr. Drew Pinsky, star of VH1`s "Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew" -- I love the title; Janice Min, a former editor at "US Weekly"; and Vickie Ziegler, divorce attorney. Thank you, everybody, for coming. Love to have you here.

Now, "People" magazine is reporting that the wife is out of there. Is she going to leave, what do you think?

JANICE MIN, FORMER EDITOR, "US WEEKLY": You know, now it`s multiple outlets saying she`s done. That she`s meeting with divorce attorneys; she`s had it.

She made a very powerful statement walking out without her ring on the other day. She`s Mrs. Tiger Woods. She usually probably has someone else pump her gas and she went to a gas station not wearing the ring.

BEHAR: Exactly.

MIN: You know, yes.

BEHAR: Which state did she do that in?

MIN: Florida.

BEHAR: In Florida. Who gets out of a car in Florida, it`s so hot?

MIN: Yes.

BEHAR: You have somebody pump for you, right?

MIN: Exactly. And she took the kids out for Thai food. She walked a little bit slowly. She looks proud and pretty.

BEHAR: I know. First I thought maybe she just forgot the ring. But no, she did it on purpose. Are the mistresses out of the picture now?

VICKIE ZIEGLER, DIVORCE ATTORNEY: They`re always going to be in the picture, I think.

BEHAR: But are they out of the picture for him?

ZIEGLER: No, no.

BEHAR: He`s still talking to them? Texting them.

MIN: "US Weekly" has a report this week that Rachel Uchitel, who we all know, she and Tiger are still in communication. And of course, she mysteriously showed up in Florida, her camp is saying her mom also lives there. But it`s also right by his yacht named "Privacy".

BEHAR: It just so happened.

MIN: And he still is in communication.

BEHAR: Vickie, let me ask you because you`re a divorce lawyer. Why file in California when you live in Florida?

ZIEGLER: I don`t think she`s filing yet. I think she is seeking counsel in California. This is her...

BEHAR: Oh yes, she`s got a lawyer; he`s 100 years old. His name is...

(CROSSTALK)

BEHAR: Whatever. I don`t know his name.

ZIEGLER: Sorrell Trope.

BEHAR: That`s it.

ZIEGLER: She`s consulting with him, I don`t know if she`s retained him, this is the reason why. If they can invalidate the pre-nup, we don`t know what the pre-nup says. If they can kick it out and they can file in California because they have a house there, she`s going to get half of what he`s earned during the marriage.

That`s the whole legal strategy at this point versus filing in Florida and say somehow if the pre-nup gets kicked out there, it`s an equitable distribution state, she`s not going to get half. So that`s the whole theory.

And I think originally there were reports that Elin was renegotiating the pre-nup and she was going to stay with him. I think that`s out the window. How many mistresses do you need to determine that it`s time to get divorced from this guy?

BEHAR: I don`t know how many he needs.

Could she file in Sweden?

ZIEGLER: She can. And that`s very interesting. I tried to do some research. I haven`t had a case in Sweden. In Sweden apparently, they don`t adopt prenuptial agreements. They don`t enforce them so that would be good for her. She could get more. And also it`s like the California State...

BEHAR: Would it be valid though in this country if it`s in Sweden?

ZIEGLER: Well, they can adopt a foreign agreement. The question is, I would love to get my hands on that pre-nup because I really want to...

(CROSSTALK)

ZIEGLER: Choice of law, where can you enforce the pre-nup? Where do you file a complaint for divorce? That`s really the operating question right now.

BEHAR: Dr. Drew, I want to get you into this conversation. I have to hear from you about whether the guy is a sex addict or not. You are in the business.

DREW PINSKY, ADDICTION SPECIALIST: Yes, I mean, there are certainly features of sexual addiction here. And one thing you have to say is that it`s not as though the problems in this marriage just erupted at the time of that car accident, we`re all aware of.

There`s no doubt this has been going on for a long time and this is just a severe crisis that is leading to divorce, which is really very sad. I mean, there`s a family involved here, there are children involved. We would normally advise people to stick it out; both people getting treatment. The outcomes can be very good.

But the fact that she`s heading for the hills so fast suggests this has been going on for a long time. And this is the pattern...

BEHAR: She should stick it out?

PINSKY: Well, that`s what we would say.

BEHAR: Why?

PINSKY: Well, a couple reasons. One is whatever the reason why they got married for in the first place and they have a family together. The reality is, the spouse in a situation like this, also have a lot to work on and we bring them together and get both of them engaged in treatment. They end up in a better place than they`re going to be separately re-enacting these same things all over again with more people.

(CROSSTALK)

BEHAR: Well, I gotcha.

PINSKY: You know what I`m saying?

BEHAR: Yes, whatever attracted her to him in the first place she needs to work that out...

PINSKY: Precisely.

BEHAR: But you know what. They`re so interesting. He`s married to a beautiful blonde and he goes out with beautiful blondes. Why doesn`t he try a brunette? Penelope Cruz, I thought today. A little variety.

MIN: He did have some brunettes. We`re just seeing the women who liked to pose in lingerie coming out right now. I think they`re probably 14, 40 more out there.

But I think speaking to Dr. Drew`s point, I think that it would be impossible for Elin to stay. I think the things he related -- we`re living in the digital age, all these women saved their text messages and e- mails. The things he has said to them are unbelievable.

They`re like -- basically that he`s in a business arrangement with his wife. He doesn`t love her. You`re the one -- you, the 14 -- you`re the one for me. And he`s a total narcissist. I don`t really see that changing.

ZIEGLER: We don`t know if that`s true. I mean people that are cheating, we don`t know if they`re just saying. It`s obvious they continued their courtship or now. I think at the end of the day the question is could she ever forgive Tiger Woods for these infidelities and will he stop?

And to Dr. Drew`s point, yes, we hope people can get into therapy but it takes two to really want to make it want to work and I think that she`s probably so far gone that he goes to grab some milk at the corner store. Who knows what he is going to do, he could court the clerk there.

So I think at the end of the she really has to go forward here.

BEHAR: Grabbing some milk, that`s great.

(CROSSTALK)

BEHAR: Whatever.

Listen, Dr. Drew, what is the difference between a sex addict and some loser who has no self-control?

PINSKY: Well, bottom line is the loss of control, shame, and often times you see childhood traumas that is usually the inciting influence. But the issue of loss of control, the desire to change what they have going on, an inability to do so. A guy who`s single acting out a lot, that may be a compulsive thing; that may have features of sexual addiction but you really wouldn`t qualify it as that unless there were consequences -- really significant consequences -- and a desire to change but inability to control, a loss of control.

BEHAR: So like Bill Clinton, was he or is he a sex addict or is he just a dog?

PINSKY: Well, I`d say he definitely had those qualities.

BEHAR: He has. And David Duchovny is another one who came out and said he was a sex addict. And I believe Michael Douglas used to be. He sort of -- Catherine Zeta cured.

PINKSY: But you guys have to remember although you have a chyron up there that says 3 percent of the American population have sexual addiction, the really is drug addicts, alcoholics, most all of them have some form of sexual addiction. So if somebody`s primary issue is chemical addiction, that actually has to be treated first and many times the sexual addictions calm down when the chemical addiction is treated.

BEHAR: It must be harder to treat a sex addiction than an alcoholic addiction or a food or a drug addiction, I would think. Because you can deal with the physiology of alcohol and food and drugs but a sex addiction is really in your head.

PINSKY: That`s right, it`s very deeply embedded in that person`s -- who they are and their emotional lives and the kinds of traumas that incite this are so tender and so painful. If you watch "Sex Rehab" you see it. We get into these major very painful issues.

And that has to be worked through for long periods of time, during which time the addict has to be willing to remain abstinent. Go to 12-step meetings. It takes a lot of work. And if somebody is not willing to work on it or doesn`t want to change, it isn`t going to change.

BEHAR: You know, I think that maybe he can go into therapy. But I don`t know, I don`t even know if it can be cured.

MIN: Why did he get married in the first place?

BEHAR: That`s -- Dr. Drew, why did they get married in the first place? You know these people.

PINSKY: Well, I`ll tell you what. Every single one of them, when you sit down and close the door, they will say, you know what, all I dream of is one day having a family of my own, somebody to really love, closeness, but they have no model for intimacy, they have no capacity for intimacy. When they get into these sort of pseudo intimate situations that establish a family they sabotage, they act out on the side and it`s exactly what`s going on here. But every one of them has a wish -- as every human does -- for real closeness and ultimately as you grow older, you want a family.

BEHAR: He`s a young guy. I asked a lot of the men that come on the show the same question that I`m going to ask you, Dr. Drew. And maybe you ladies can answer the question.

If he`s with a woman, his wife, and he obviously is cheating on her with all these women, so he`s acting out his sexual fantasies all over the place. Now he`s got caught. He got caught. What are you going to do with him, put him in a chastity belt now?

The point is what is he supposed to do for sex now? He`s a young man. He may not want to sleep with his wife and she may not want to sleep with him anymore. So what is he supposed to do now? I asked this to a couple guys on the show before and they never gave me a good answer.

MIN: I don`t think anyone -- I think he`ll just be more discreet. Honestly, I don`t...

BEHAR: He`ll be more discreet?

MIN: I mean, this is a guy who is like -- had women come up to him in clubs in Vegas and they`re nuzzling and being very obvious. And if you`re to believe all these women, he`s having sex in a church parking lot.

So he`ll just be sneakier.

MIN: Exactly.

BEHAR: Wow. Thank you, everybody, for making this a continuing interesting conversation. Make sure you catch the season finale of "Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew" on Sunday at 10:00 on VH1. More when we come back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BEHAR: Well, it`s a war of words between Sarah Palin and Arnold Schwarzenegger. It`ll be over pretty quickly, I guess.

Here to discuss this and more are actor Harry Shearer -- his new DVD is "Unwigged and Unplugged". Also with me are Marina Franklin, comedienne and Beth Fouhy, AP political reporter.

Now, this feud started after Palin questioned science, climate science and said that it`s not just people who do it, ok? And the gover- nator responded like this, he says, "You have to ask, -- is she really interested in this subject or is she interested in her career and in winning the Republican presidential nomination? If she ever gets it."

But -- so Beth, will we see more members of the GOP start calling - calling out Palin? I mean, he`s a Republican.

BETH FOUHY, ASSOCIATED PRESS POLITICAL REPORTER: He`s a Republican but he`s Arnold. He`s his own brand. He`s very moderate. I mean, he`s essentially a Democrat. He just happens to have an R after his name.

HARRY SHEARER, ACTOR: He`s a rhino.

FOUHY: He`s a rhino, there`s very few rhinos left anymore. Republican is a name only.

BEHAR: What`s a rhino?

SHEARER: Republican in name only.

FOUHY: Republican in name only.

BEHAR: Is that like a real term.

SHEARER: Yes.

BEHAR: I never heard that?

FOUHY: Yes.

BEHAR: Ok.

FOUHY: So he`s himself, he`s his own brand and she`s her own brand and they`re also speaking to very different constituencies. He`s speaking to people of California who are very environmentally forward- thinking and conscience and she`s speaking to a community of people that really does question whether man contributes to climate problems.

SHEARER: And he`s also speaking on behalf of a state that`s gone bankrupt in ways that Wall Street...

BEHAR: Right.

SHEARER: ... can`t even imagine. I mean, it`s -- as much as he might have his heart in the right place, I can`t believe that any sane person wouldn`t be saying why don`t you take care of your state first?

FOUHY: Well, she did on her Facebook page.

SHEARER: Yes -- I said any sane person.

FOUHY: She made the point that -- he is -- he is presiding over a state that`s in a horrible economy.

SHEARER: Yes.

FOUHY: So who was he to make charges against her?

BEHAR: Well, she wants the president to forget about climate change and focus on the economy. So here`s how Arnold responded yesterday on "Good Morning America" yesterday.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GOV. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER (R), CALIFORNIA: I don`t think that you have to choose. I think it is nonsense to talk to say first we should talk about the economy. You can do both. There`s no excuse at all to just boycott Copenhagen just because we first have to rebuild the economy.

I think there are people just don`t believe in fixing and working on the environment. They don`t believe there is such a thing at global warming. They`re still living in the Stone Age.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BEHAR: You know, she gets -- she says that Obama can`t do both. He can`t do the economy and climate change. Why not? Other people can multitask, why can`t Obama? And her people -- the Bush administration, they did Iran, Afghanistan and Iraq at the same time.

SHEARER: Well, kind of...

BEHAR: Kind of...

SHEARER: Not really.

BEHAR: Well, half-assed, but still.

SHEARER: Yes, well, that`s the point.

BEHAR: Yes.

SHEARER: And she`s looking at the example of -- I was -- first of all, somebody has to tell Arnie it`s not Copenhagen...

BEHAR: Yes, I know.

SHEARER: It`s Copenhagen.

BEHAR: He should know, he`s German.

SHEARER: Well, that`s why it`s Copenhagen, because we don`t want to be confused...

MARINA FRANKLIN, COMEDIAN: No because she understand they called it wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen.

SHEARER: I know but since World War II, they`ve been insistent that you not pronounce it that way because they don`t want to be confused with the Germans.

BEHAR: That`s Hollywood any way.

FRANKLIN: I thought Arnold was very nice this time as far as speaking to another woman. Like in the past he`s often somewhat sexist...

BEHAR: Yes.

FRANLIN: ... in his attacks. I mean, while I love the fact that he has...

SHEARER: That`s old world, that`s old world.

FRANLIN: Yes, but I love his attack on her, but I thought it was not as genuine as he usually is.

BEHAR: But I mean, I don`t understand Palin. I mean, doesn`t she care? She says she can see Siberia from her kitchen. Does she want Siberia in her kitchen? Doesn`t she care about global warming the way everybody else does? I don`t understand how anybody could not give a damn about global warming?

FOUHY: She has said repeatedly that she does believe that climate change is happening. What she`s questioning now is how much human activity is contributing to it. She`s sort of splitting with this.

BEHAR: But what`s the difference? What`s the difference who is contributing to it? It`s happening.

FRANKLIN: Because she wants to be president.

SHEARER: Well, if humans aren`t contributing to it, then humans can`t do anything to fix it. So, you know, I don`t believe that argument.

But from her standpoint, it`s a huge increase in government power if these changes are made. She`s appealing to a constituency that`s afraid of the government any way. And so that`s her point. Is that we didn`t do it, why should we give government all this power to fix it?

BEHAR: All right, enough about Palin.

SHEARER: Ok.

BEHAR: I`m sick of the topic.

SHEARER: Was it something we said?

BEHAR: No, it`s something she said.

SHEARER: Oh, ok.

BEHAR: Let`s bash "Time" magazine for a minute. Their Person of the Year...

SHEARER: We`re in your building...

BEHAR: So what? So what? It`s Fed Chairman, Ben Bernanke, the leading -- "for leading the most powerful least understood government truce shaping our lives," that`s what`s "Time" magazine said. Was bailout Ben a good pick do you think?

FRANKLIN: Who is he?

BEHAR: You know what, exactamente (ph), who is he? Nobody even knows who he is.

FRANKLIN: I want to be honest like I was like when I read it, I took a really good nap right after.

BEHAR: Did you?

FRANKLIN: Yes, I did.

BEHAR: Because nobody knows...

FRANKLIN: It starts off with this guy who is like got gray hair and he`s got tired eyes. Why do I want to read this?

BEHAR: Well, if he`s an important person in the country, then you might want to. But you don`t even know who he is.

FRANKLIN: I don`t know -- unless he`s had an affair with someone, I really don`t care.

BEHAR: Really, ok, well, I`m glad that you`re expressing yourself so honestly.

SHEARER: Tiger Woods, Man of the Year.

BEHAR: Yes...

FOUHY: Hell, yes.

BEHAR: ... maybe he should pose nude like Levi Johnston and put a little calculator in front of him.

SHEARER: Here`s the thing. It proves once and for all -- it prove once and for all that "Time" doesn`t choose their Men of the Year to sell magazines.

BEHAR: Obviously and the people who -- they can`t even afford to buy the magazine, so what the hell is the difference?

SHEARER: That`s right.

BEHAR: But isn`t he the one -- one of the people who got us in this mess in the first place?

FOUHY: Yes, but they`re -- "Time" -- I`m not here speaking for "Time" but I don`t think they pick the person of the year as being the best person of the year or the smartest person of the year but rather the most influential. And he`s the chairman of the Fed; he arguably is.

SHEARER: I think that the most damning quote about him came from Alan Greenspan...

BEHAR: Which was...

SHEARER: ... which was, as long as I`ve known him he`s never been wrong; this is from a guy who`s been wrong every time.

BEHAR: Greenspan...

SHEARER: Yes.

BEHAR: ... is another one.

SHEARER: Yes.

BEHAR: As my friend Pat Cooper says, he`s another bargain.

SHEARER: Yes.

BEHAR: All right. Alan Greenspan could be the sexiest man alive according to this mindset.

SHEARER: That`s right.

BEHAR: All right. Let`s move on to Rush Limbaugh, ok. Reportedly he set the date for his fourth wedding, July 4th -- how patriotic of him. Isn`t he patriotic? And the lucky lady is named Kate Rogers. Isn`t that -- so are you happy for him? I guess anyone can find love, right?

FOUHY: Sure. Mazel tov. Hope it works out.

FRANKLIN: Honestly at this time, like for me any way, any man is attractive.

BEHAR: Really?

FRANKLIN: Seriously. It`s been such a rough year for me I would look at Rush Limbaugh sideways just a little bit.

BEHAR: Really? Why has it been such a rough year?

FRANKLIN: For me?

BEHAR: Yes.

FRANKLIN: Well, it`s a hard time. I`m a comic. You know, you do good...

BEHAR: Men are not attracted to comedians -- women.

FRANKLIN: No, they`re not.

BEHAR: No, they`re not.

FRANKLIN: You know. So you end up looking at someone like Rush Limbaugh with a wallet and go, "You know what? Not so bad."

BEHAR: It`s interesting that this is his fourth marriage -- will be his 4th marriage -- and yet they talk about he`s like against gay marriage. I mean, set the tone.

SHEARER: I think as with gay people, so with rush. Why should they be denied the burden of marriage?

BEHAR: Exactly. My sentiments exactly.

More with my panel when we come right back. Don`t move.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BEHAR: I`m back with my panel, my lovely panel. John Edwards, remember him?

SHEARER: Yes, with the hair.

BEHAR: There`s a report out of the "National Enquirer" that he just bought a house in North Carolina, Charlotte -- was it -- Charlotte, North Carolina, for his mistress, Rielle Hunter. Remember the girl?

SHEARER: Sure.

BEHAR: The woman one that allegedly has his baby.

SHEARER: With the love child?

In the hallway of the Beverly Hilton Hotel, isn`t that where she showed it to him?

BEHAR: I don`t remember that. Is that what happened?

SHEARER: Yes.

FOUHY: "The National Enquirer" caught them in the basement running to the hallway.

BEHAR: Ok. Now the "National Enquirer" broke the story. So let`s take it for what it is. They also -- you could say they`re not legit it`s just red (ph). They also broke the Tiger Woods story and they broke the John Edwards story when it first happened. So we have to give them a little credibility.

FOUHY: They`re getting good.

BEHAR: They`re getting good. They`re doing what the news media usually does especially a political guy.

(CROSSTALK)

FOUHY: Well, they pay for stuff, yes.

FRANKLIN: Is that a good sign though that we`re starting to listen to the "National Enquirer" for our facts?

BEHAR: I don`t know if it`s a good sign or a bad sign. There`s so many bad signs, that`s just one of them.

SHEARER: It`s the apocalypse, what`s the problem?

BEHAR: Why did he buy her the house, is it hush money?

FOUHY: That`s what you do for your mistress, right?

BEHAR: He`s still married to Elizabeth Edwards.

SHEARER: Well, what time is it now?

BEHAR: I think they`re going to stay married.

SHEARER: Really?

BEHAR: Well, she`s ill, for one thing. Maybe she`s better now. I hope she is.

SHEARER: That didn`t stop Newt.

BEHAR: Well, what do you think is going through Elizabeth Edwards` mind? I remember Newt Gingrich. He told his wife bye-bye while she was recuperating from cancer. Yes, he`s another bargain.

SHEARER: He was reading (INAUDIBLE). One woman at a time.

BEHAR: Go ahead.

FOUHY: Let`s say that the best way one can look at this is that John Edwards wants to ensure that his baby, his daughter, if indeed she is his daughter, is being taken care of in a nice environment where her mother can live comfortably and not have to worry about money. That would be a nice way to view what he`s doing as a magnanimous gesture.

SHEARER: Magnanimous.

FRANKLIN: I thought you said monogamous.

FRANKLIN: Magnanimous gesture -- Elizabeth Edwards, who seems like a very classy, honorable person who has talked a lot about protecting the poor and helping people who are disadvantaged, you know, would hopefully like her husband to step up and do the right thing by his daughter.

FRANKLIN: Help out that ho.

I mean I personally, I`ve never got anything out of an affair, ever. You know, you don`t have to work that hard with me. I get a flat screen TV, I`ll be happy.

BEHAR: You`re what they call a cheap date.

SHEARER: Start dating politicians. The payoffs are much better.

BEHAR: Before we go, let`s get this little test going. This is multiple choice. Who is sleazier? I`m going to name a name and you can decide at the end of this who the sleaziest is. All right.

Edwards, who we just discussed who cheated on his cancer-stricken wife; Gingrich who cheated on his cancer-stricken wife; Mark Sanford, who had an Argentinian soul mate; tiger woods, who has 14 skanks; Jon Gosselin who...

FRANKLIN: I love how you looked right at me when you said skank.

BEHAR: I did not, I looked at him.

Jon Gosselin who left the wife with eight kids or Eliot Spitzer who went to hookers. Who is the sleaziest and then we`ll go?

Your vote Harry.

SHEARER: Tiger woods.

BEHAR: Your vote.

FRANKLIN: Eliot Spitzer.

BEHAR: Your vote.

FOUHY: The ones with the cancer in those cases.

BEHAR: So Edwards and Gingrich.

FOUHY: I`m not making a vote.

BEHAR: Thanks, everyone. Up next, the Madame behind the first male brothel in Nevada; I can`t wait to hear this.

Stay right there.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BEHAR: Like O.J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods is an all-time great. Or so I`m told. Personally I don`t know a 3 iron from a curling iron. But I do know a good scandal when I see one and these star athletes have all been at the center of a big one. Here to discuss this is l`affair Tiger as we call it here at the ranch, is Stephen A. Smith, columnist for the Philadelphia Inquirer, and syndicated radio talk show host.

STEPHEN A. SMITH, COLUMNIST FOR PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER: Hello, Joy.

BEHAR: Hello, how are you?

SMITH: You don`t know how happy I am to talk with you. It`s nice to finally say hello. I love you. How are you doing?

BEHAR: That`s so sweet. Thank you.

SMITH: Ok.

BEHAR: So what do you make of this Tiger scandal, Stephen?

SMITH: Well it`s trifling on his part. He`s mishandled the entire situation, not just because of his behavior, but the PR man in which is handling. He`s either been getting absolutely horrific advice or he hasn`t been listening to anybody and has made an absolute fool of himself.

He`s come across as a bit disingenuous, to say the least. Considerably more concerned with his image than really, really addressing the issue. And even if you`re not going to address the issue, you at least come out from jump street and tell everybody, you know what? I have a situation with my wife. It`s entirely my fault and of my doing. I`m trying to save my marriage here.

Outside of that, anything about this matter is none of you all`s business. Speculate away but I`m not commenting on it anymore. And leave it at that but he did not do that. Because of that, his image is taking a big-time hit, and rightfully so.

BEHAR: Yes, he seems to be in hiding. I want you to listen to a clip from HLN`s "With All Due Respect." Apparently Tiger`s famous friends can`t get in touch with him, listen.

SMITH: No -

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: If Charles Barkley and Michael Jordan can`t get to him -

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Right, that`s inhalation because you have his number.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And those are his boys.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You have his number, right?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh he changed his number.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He changed his number

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: If Charles and Michael can`t get to him, then these other people are making bad moves.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I think when you have these fires in your life, as I call them; you need to talk to somebody else who is famous who have been through things in their life.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BEHAR: You can see more of that interview on "With All Due Respect" on HLN this Sunday at 10:00 p.m. Ok Stephen, should he be talking to other famous people or should he be talking to a shrink?

SMITH: Well in my particular -- opinion, both, to be quite honest with you. Because he seems a bit clueless at this moment. But especially somebody likes Charles Barkley. Because I`ve known Charles Barkley for years. He`s as honest as they come. And Lord knows he hasn`t done everything right all of the time. But Charles Barkley is as authentic as they come and as real as they can. And when you have somebody who is supposed to be a member of your inner circle, who has been in the spotlight for less than favorable things who is reaching out to you and you`ve changed your number and even he can`t reach you, then it just not only shows that you`re hiding. But it also shows who you really consider a friend and who you just labeled a friend just for public consumption. That`s my opinion about it.

BEHAR: What do you think is the obsession with Tiger? I mean we talk about it every night on my show here.

SMITH: Right.

BEHAR: People can`t get enough of it. Is it the sensationalism, is it the -- it`s a good thing my husband is like that, what is it about that people are so interested in?

SMITH: Well you have to consider the fact if you want to be successful in this world, you got to have mass appeal with that female audience because that`s the major consumer in the United States of America. And the reality is you have an abundance of women out there that want to know about this because women have an insatiable appetite for trying to figure out why men can be as trifling as we can be.

You know, you`ve got people that explain it as a sex addiction and all of this stuff. I never buy into that nonsense.

BEHAR: You don`t?

SMITH: We are men. We covet what we see. We see a nice shapely voluptuous woman, we covet her. And we work to try and not pursue her. A lot of people wouldn`t want to admit that. They certainly wouldn`t come on "The View" especially with the lovely Whoopi and Cheryl Shepherd, all that. They wouldn`t admit that publicly. But that is the reality of the situation. And - and --

BEHAR: But what happened to "thou shall not covet they neighbor`s bimbo?" Whatever happens to that?

SMITH: Well - men -- men have never listened to that. They`ve never read anything about that. As a matter of fact, I`m 42 years of age and that`s the first time I heard that because I`ve never listened to such nonsense. I mean something, you know, it`s a constant battle and men are in constant rehab and we don`t want to admit it to the women because we don`t want to alienate that female audience.

BEHAR: Any hope for your gender at all, Stephen?

SMITH: No, no.

BEHAR: Okay, well you know --. Just as an end to that conversation, the AP voted Tiger the athlete of the decade. Is that going to help him at all?

SMITH: No, that`s not going to be helpful But he is worthy of the award. But it`s not going to help his image. It will remind everybody he`s the greatest golfer in the world and he`s a tremendous winner. But that doesn`t make you a great man and it certainly doesn`t make you pure as snow. Well, I can tell you that.

BEHAR: Well thank you, Stephen. You know, in search of an honest man, I think I found it in you.

SMITH: Thank you.

BEHAR: Ok, thank you for doing the show. Moving on from professional athletes to the world`s oldest profession, the owner of a Nevada brothel is planning on hiring that state`s first legal male prostitutes but will she attract any customers other than gay men and the occasional congressman? Here to talk about it is the owner of that brothel, which is called Shady Lady Ranch, Bobbi Davis, and Dr. Drew Pinsky. So our VH1 sex rehab with Dr. Drew. Hello, everybody.

BOBBI DAVIS, OWNER OF SHADY LADY RANCH: Hi Joy.

BEHAR: Hello Bobbi. So you`re planning to be the first person to ever open a brothel that hires male prostitutes?

DAVIS: That`s right.

BEHAR: Now didn`t Heidi Fleiss try to do that one time?

DAVIS: She was going to do that. She never got it off the ground.

BEHAR: She didn`t?

DAVIS: Well, her background kept her from doing it. She had too many felonies.

BEHAR: What makes you think that women are going to pay for sex? We don`t have to pay for it. They`re all over - they just want it. We can get it if they want it.

DAVIS: We have -

BEHAR: You know how easy it is, Bobbi.

DAVIS: Guys, Joy doesn`t you -- I know, I know. But you know what? There are also women that don`t want to go out and expose themselves to diseases. There are women that don`t want a relationship. There are women that are -- wanted to do a couple`s thing. We have couples, we`ve been doing couples for years where men would come in with their wives, girlfriends or significant others. And we could provide a woman but we couldn`t provide a man if they wanted that mix to it.

BEHAR: What kind of guys are you going to have? Like studly types or schlumpy guys like accountants with like you know really strange-looking schlumps? Because you never know - women are not like men. Men, they like a certain curvaceous blond --

DAVIS: That`s right.

BEHAR: There`s a certain type that they go for.

DAVIS: That`s right.

BEHAR: But women, we like, you know, Woody Allen, for example.

DAVIS: Yes, you`re right. We`re going to have all types.

(CROSSTALK)

DR. DREW PINSKY: And Joy, let`s be fair. We`re not -- you guys aren`t inventing male prostitution. I can walk down the Santa Monica Boulevard and there are male prostitutes all over the place there.

DAVIS: That`s true.

PINSKY: At least there has been historically. Or the fact is the primary customers are not females. There are just not females.

DAVIS: That`s true.

PINSKY: That`s the reality here. And I`m all for equal protection under the law and god bless you for providing equal opportunity here. But do we need more places for sex addicts to act out? I just wonder.

DAVIS: Oh come on, Dr. Drew, not everybody that comes to places are sex addicts. Some people just - you know what, there`s some people that don`t want the relationships, Dr. Drew. They don`t want that hassle.

PINSKY: Absolutely and they`ve invented a term for that, it`s friends with benefits. That`s absolutely the case and you know if people can avoid --

DAVIS: And there`s some men that don`t want that either. They want to come to a place, they pay what they want. I have men tell me is that what they pay for is for her to leave.

BEHAR: Really?

PINSKY: Well, but then that`s the ultimate objective of a human being and it`s using a human strictly as a sexual object. That`s what that is.

DAVIS: Oh come on, come on. Doesn`t Dr. Drew, please, please?

BEHAR: Don`t you think, Bobbi, though you`re going to get a lot of men coming? You know, gay guys coming and maybe some trays?

DAVIS: Yes, you know what, I can`t discriminate under the law.

BEHAR: So anybody?

DAVIS: Yes, for anybody. So that`s against the law.

BEHAR: I`ll make a bet with -- I`ll make a bet with you now, Bobbi. You`re going to get more men coming than women.

PINSKY: I`ll take that bet.

DAVIS: If that happens, that`s the way it goes.

BEHAR: Yes.

DAVIS: You know what I`m not going to discriminate. It`s going to be up to the workers to decide. Nobody in my business has to do anyone they do not wish.

PINSKY: How are they testing for the human papilloma virus? Are they just making sure that all the men are vaccinated for that? Or how are they being screened?

DAVIS: You know what; I`m not sure what they`re going to do with the men yet. That`s still being discussed. The women are tested -- not tested but are examined.

PINSKY: I understand, but there are a lot of things you can`t test for in a man and I understand the --

DAVIS: That`s right.

BEHAR: Yes like mental stabilit -- stability.

(CROSSTALK)

PINSKY: State as like before but (UNINTELLIGIBLE) what the tests are.

DAVIS: Yes, but here`s the other thing, Dr. Drew, you can`t test but we have had male clients for years.

BEHAR: Drew, Dr. Drew --

DAVIS: And we don`t test our clients that come in at all.

BEHAR: Isn`t this just a male fantasy, Drew, where men dreaming that women will pay to sleep with them? It`s kind of a male fantasy. She wants me so much she`ll pay for it. I mean it`s really --

PINSKY: To be a male prostitute? Well, yes, in a way. Well, men want to believe they`re just desired no matter what. So once money is exchanged it sort of loses its appeal a little bit.

BEHAR: Well, according to Ashley Dupree, who I had on here last night, Elliot Spitzer`s girlfriend there, she says, that you know, that they think it`s romantic. They like it.

DAVIS: Yes.

BEHAR: Like they don`t say to themselves, hey, I`m paying for this therefore she`s probably is not in love with me. They make up a fantasy for themselves.

PINSKY: Well listen. It is a fantasy. I mean that is a stripper fantasy really is. I mean she`s there for me. She wants me. She wants your money. And the fact is that`s all that is. But men build this fantasy, that yes, that`s why she`s paying attention to me. She`s attracted to me and that`s not a real relationship. That`s kind of sad.

BEHAR: When are you opening up this brothel, Bobbi? When is this starting?

DAVIS: We`re hoping to hire men after January. January, the county commissioner is meeting to decide on what rules they want to put on this. And so January 5th and from then on we`ll see what happens.

BEHAR: I want you to call me February 5th and tell me how business is. I`m really interested to find out. And Dr. Drew, I`m going to report back to you. Because we have a bet. But you and I agree on that, so I need somebody who disagrees. Bobbi, ten bucks -

PINSKY: Bobbi disagrees -

BEHAR: Bobbi, ten bucks -

DAVIS: All right, ten bucks.

BEHAR: Ten bucks more men and trannies will be coming than women. That`s all I`m saying.

DAVIS: You know what; I`ll say you`re wrong.

BEHAR: Ok, darling. Dr. Drew, Bobbi, thanks. The season finale of "VH1 Sex Rehab" with Dr. Drew is this Sunday at 10:00 p.m. back in just a minute with "Saturday Night Lives`" star Fred Armisen. So what who cares?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

FRED ARMISEN, COMEDIAN: I`m grateful to have the opportunity to speak to you today about our economy. And I`m also grateful for the chance to get away from Washington and its many distractions. I just came from Allentown Metal Works where I had the chance to visit with workers there, and like so many others across America, these workers have been doing the very best they can to stay afloat. And the recession has hit folks like them the hardest of all.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BEHAR: Fortunately for comedians, including the cast of "Saturday Night Live," there`s never a shortage of ridiculous things to make fun of in Washington. With mow now who plays the most powerful man on the free world for "SNL" actor and comedian Fred Armisen. Welcome to the show Fred.

ARMISEN: Hi Joy. How are you?

BEHAR: I love your work.

ARMISEN: Likewise. I love "The View" and I`ve been watch thing show as well.

BEHAR: Thank you. Now, you poked fun at Obama quite a bit these days. Is it hard to poke fun at him?

ARMISEN: Yes, in a way it`s hard. I think there`s still -- we`re still trying to find all the right subject matter and he`s someone who we`re getting to know a lot. So, it might take a while.

BEHAR: He`s hard to do, because Bush was easy. Everything he said was a joke.

ARMISEN: Yes, yes. We -- the writers, a lot of the stuff is done by the writers. Seth Myers and Jim Downey - we still

BEHAR: Jim Downey, you have him back now. He`s been there forever.

ARMISEN: Yes, he does a lot of the political stuff.

BEHAR: let`s look at another clip of you playing the president.

ARMISEN: Sure.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ARMISEN: Take a look at this checklist. Now on my first day in office, on my first day in office I said I`d close Guantanamo Bay. Is it closed yet? Nope. I said we`d be out of Iraq. Are we? Not the last time I checked. I said I`d make improvements in the war in Afghanistan. Is it better? No, I think it`s actually worse. When you look at my record, it`s very clear what I`ve done so far. And that is, nothing.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BEHAR: Well, you`re a little rough on the president in that sketch. You agree with all the Republicans who were downers on his case, don`t you think?

ARMISEN: I don`t know if -- I think the goal of every sketch is for it to be funny. So we don`t think about rough or fair. It`s just what is going to work? You know the show changes from the dress rehearsal to the air show that same night and we judge everything on how the audience reacts and what`s working and what`s not.

BEHAR: So you have a dress rehearsal for this and they laughed at certain things and you kept it in.

ARMISEN: Yes, yes. And more than things being rough, it`s more about things being relevant or timely.

BEHAR: There`s no Michelle Obama. Does anybody play Michelle?

ARMISEN: No, Mia did it for one show - she came back -

BEHAR: Mia Rudolph.

ARMISEN: Yes, she --

BEHAR: She`s very funny.

ARMISEN: Oh, she`s brilliant.

BEHAR: Yes.

ARMISEN: So she did it one time, and then - yes.

BEHAR: Is it hard to do Obama because he`s black? You`re afraid of being construed as racist, is that one of the problems?

ARMISEN: I don`t think any of us have put that much thought into it. It`s like what is going to make this sketch work. I just think of the person and the way he talks.

BEHAR: Yes, you have that down. That cadence.

ARMISEN: That very interesting cadence. I think we just go from there. And we don`t get weighed down too much on what`s what --.

BEHAR: But you put makeup on. You sort of go on black faced, don`t you?

ARMISEN: I suppose that would an issue, yes.

BEHAR: Where`s the line, where is the line do you -- well, you know, it`s supposed to be funny. So there`s no line, you just do whatever you think is funny.

ARMISEN: Yes, I don`t know where the line is.

BEHAR: What if you didn`t agree with the concept? You felt that it was politically, completely incorrect or it was racist or something, would you speak? Would you open your mouth or just do it anyway?

ARMISEN: Wow. If I wasn`t comfortable with something, I think I wouldn`t do it. But I trust everyone there a lot. I trust Lauren and I trust --

BEHAR: You do? Well Lauren knows what he`s doing. He`s been doing it long enough.

ARMISEN: Yes, so I just trust everyone and I can`t remember a time at the show where I`ve gone, like, yes, I`m not comfortable with that. I always think, oh, that sounds great. Let`s do it.

BEHAR: Now the other guy that does the Tiger, what is his name? Keenan. He`s hilarious.

ARMISEN: Keenan. He`s great. He`s a genius.

BEHAR: But I think that you actually would be more in the body type of Tiger. But you don`t do Tiger. He`s -- Tiger Woods says he`s a Cablacasian. He`s Caucasian, Black, and Asian.

ARMISEN: Right.

BEHAR: Now you`re German, Venezuelan, and Japanese. Does that make you a Gervenese?

ARMISEN: I`m a gervenese.

BEHAR: You`re a gervenese, aren`t you?

ARMISEN: That`s where I grew up.

BEHAR: Well, why aren`t you playing Tiger?

ARMISEN: Oh because Keenan did it great. I mean he kills.

BEHAR: But he`s more of a robust, how shall I put this? Chubby version of Tiger.

ARMISEN: He was funny. That`s all that matters.

BEHAR: Yes, I guess. But don`t they want you to look like the person more over there?

ARMISEN: I mean, I think all that matters is who does it the best. And I thought Keenan was great.

BEHAR: OK, now let`s talk about comedians in the show. A lot of comedians say that women are not funny. What do you think about that?

ARMISEN: Who says that?

BEHAR: Oh Christopher Hitchens, although, he`s not funny himself. He`s not a comedian.

ARMISEN: My favorite comediennes are women. Yes, I mean -- Growing up, I remember Catherine O`Hara was -

BEHAR: Yes, hilarious.

ARMISEN: She was the greatest. Katherine --

BEHAR: She was.

ARMISEN: The greatest. Yeah.

BEHAR: She was and also the whole Second City people were great.

ARMISEN: Brilliant.

BEHAR: Andrea Martin very funny also.

ARMISEN: Andrea Martin incredible.

BEHAR: Yes, so you don`t agree with that? Is your wife funny? She`s wonderful.

ARMISEN: She`s really, really funny. I think yes, she`s really, really funny.

BEHAR: Tell us who your wife is.

ARMISEN: Her name Elizabeth Moss.

BEHAR: Elizabeth Moss and she`s one of the stars of "Mad Men."

ARMISEN: That`s correct

BEHAR: There she is. Now you guys just got married didn`t you?

ARMISEN: We did.

BEHAR: She`s wonderful on that show too.

ARMISEN: She`s great. She`s great.

BEHAR: I`m so full of compliments tonight, aren`t I?

ARMISEN: She`s great, she`s great. I think she`s really funny on that show too.

BEHAR: She`s - on what on Mad Men?

ARMISEN: Yes. I think there`s a - I think Mad Men has a lot of humor to it. I see is sometimes as a comedy show.

BEHAR: You know what is really terrible about "Mad Men," it`s not coming back for about a year and a half. I can`t wait that long.

ARMISEN: Yes, I know.

BEHAR: That annoys me. They need to get to work.

ARMISEN: You know what you could -- you can do sort of like an imaginary "Mad Men." just sort of like --

BEHAR: I live through that - I live through that period so I recognize every crazy thing about it.

ARMISEN: Do you feel like as a female comedian that you went through a lot of things that you thought were sexist? I mean did you --

BEHAR: Who`s doing the interview here? More with Fred Armisen when we come back.

ARMISEN: No fair.

BEHAR: No I did -

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ARMISEN: You know, the only shot I want is a shot of Kahlua after looking at my neck wrinkles. It looks like I have Frisbees around my neck. Who cares?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Joy you got a lot of jokes on there. But this one is not going to tell by the look on your face.

ARMISEN: Ok, thanks Whoopi, ok, here we go.

The only shot I want is a shot of David Caruso getting out of the shower. Who cares, so what.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BEHAR: That was my - my doppelganger. Saturday Night Live stars Fred Armisen doing his best impression of moi.

ARMISEN: Yes.

BEHAR: You know, at first I thought, wow, he`s making fun of me. And then I thought, so what, who cares?

ARMISEN: I think -- but the Joy from this show is a little different from the Joy of "The View."

BEHAR: Oh really, how?

ARMISEN: A little bit. I feel like - you know on this show, you`re a little bit more calm.

BEHAR: I`m calmer here.

ARMISEN: Yes, you are a little quieter. You`re a little bit just like --

BEHAR: Well, I`m the host here. And I`m the guest there.

ARMISEN: There`s not so much yelling, I guess.

BEHAR: Yes. There`s no yelling or like a cacophony around me. Yes.

ARMISEN: Yes. What`s that like? Do people just shout over you?

BEHAR: Yes. Do you like playing me?

ARMISEN: Oh, it`s great. You know, the fun thing for me is, and it sounds like a showbiz thing, but being around the other comedians is great. It`s fantastic. It`s great. Kristin doing Elizabeth. And --

BEHAR: Oh yes, she`s hilarious.

ARMISEN: Keenan doing Whoopi is like -

BEHAR: I love Kristin`s impression of Kathie Lee Gifford. The is the funniest - oh my god, the little twitches that Kathie Lee has -

ARMISEN: Yes.

BEHAR: She does even know she had it. I never noticed that I did all this. I`m like so twitchy. So what who cares.

ARMISEN: It`s just a little bit.

BEHAR: I mean you do it really - you got me down.

ARMISEN: You`re nice to say that.

BEHAR: But you need some more material, I`ll help you later with it.

ARMISEN: Please do, yes.

BEHAR: Ok. Now you know you are the oldest person on the cast now? How old are you now?

ARMISEN: I`m 43.

BEHAR: Wow, for that show.

ARMISEN: Yes.

BEHAR: How does it feel to be the elder states man? Daryl Hammond is not older than you?

ARMISEN: He`s not on anymore really.

BEHAR: At all?

ARMISEN: He comes in once in awhile to do -

BEHAR: He needs to be there all the time - he`s definitely hilarious.

ARMISEN: I think Phil Hartman was up there -

BEHAR: He`s passed away.

ARMISEN: Well I`m saying that during his tenure at "SNL."

BEHAR: I got you, but he`s no longer with us.

ARMISEN: Yes.

BEHAR: But when he was there, he was the oldest.

ARMISEN: I would say, yes.

BEHAR: Now do you think that Keenan does a better impression of Whoopi than you do of me?

ARMISEN: Oh, wow.

BEHAR: These are deep questions.

ARMISEN: Yes, they are deep.

BEHAR: Try to go with me.

ARMISEN: I think Keenan`s is wordier and, therefore, better. Because he has this long run of like these little speeches that -

BEHAR: Well Whoopi does talk - she does more of an in-depth conversation than I do.

ARMISEN: Yes.

BEHAR: My boy friend Steve, my spousal equivalent, he says you`re a jabber. He say`s you jab and come out. Jab and come out.

ARMISEN: Yes, yes that`s great.

BEHAR: I don`t like -- That`s why I`m quieter here than there? No. It`s impossible. Is your wife funny, too?

ARMISEN: She`s hilarious.

BEHAR: At home I mean do you two keep each other laughing?

ARMISEN: Yes.

BEHAR: Do you do an impression of John Ham just going around looking gorgeous all day?

ARMISEN: What`s he like? He`s sort of like --

BEHAR: He`s good to do. And also the one with the big roll.

ARMISEN: Oh, John Slaughter.

BEHAR: no, not him. The woman with the big roll. Joan. Thank you.

ARMISEN: Yes, yes.

BEHAR: Anyway, thanks Fred. It`s always a pleasure to talk to you. Keeps it going, you`re very funny?

ARMISEN: Thank you. Thank you.

BEHAR: Thanks to all of my guests. Good night, everybody.

ARMISEN: Good night everybody.

BEHAR: Good night.

ARMISEN: Good night.

END