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Joy Behar Page

Interview with Dolly Parton; Interview with Valerie Bertinelli

Aired December 29, 2009 - 21:00   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

JOY BEHAR, HLN ANCHOR: I`m excited today because this woman has had an extraordinary career: Seven Grammys, two Oscar nominations, ten Country Music Association Awards and sales of more than 100 million records. The list goes on and on. And it`s hardly over. Her latest a DVD and CD combo platter called "Dolly Live from London" was just released this week.

Dolly, how are you? It`s a pleasure to have you here with us today.

DOLLY PARTON, MUSICIAN/SONGWRITER/ACTRESS: Well, thank you. I was so excited. I love your show. I`ve been watching you and you`re doing a great job.

BEHAR: Thank you. You know, we always get along with you at "The View". We love you at "The View".

PARTON: Yes.

BEHAR: And now you`re here and I have you all to myself without anybody interrupting me.

PARTON: Yes, let`s just do it all by ourselves. We like that.

BEHAR: Ok, so now let me start with the Country Music Awards last night. And we`ll get to your CD and your DVD. Don`t forget. Don`t worry we`ll get there.

PARTON: Oh I know.

BEHAR: But Taylor Swift -- Taylor Swift just made history as the youngest winner of the Country Music Association Awards and as Entertainer of the Year. Now, you won that award. Right? What do you think...

PARTON: Oh, I did. I did long time ago.

BEHAR: You`ve won every award except the Nobel Peace Prize. And I think I`m going to nominate you for that. I`m nominating you.

PARTON: Well, thank you.

I was really so very proud of Taylor. She`s very young and she`s very talented. But she -- she deserved every bit of it. She has had an unbelievable last several months, a year, a year and a half. She`s just killed them. So I wasn`t a bit surprised that she won that last night and all the other things she won.

We all love her. And we think she`s really representing herself as well as Nashville and country music very well. So we were excited for her.

BEHAR: And she`s adorable.

And what did you think of the incident with Kanye West?

PARTON: Oh, I think that`s always silly when people show their butts like that. I feel like he probably was embarrassed about it later.

But anyway, I thought she handled it really well and I think everybody just wanted to smack a knot on his head. But that`s a -- I think it was all -- you know, what can you say? It was what it was. You know?

BEHAR: You know, you`ve had so much success in your career. Do you ever just -- and you made a lot of money at this point. I mean, let`s tell the truth here. Did you ever think of maybe just giving it up and just rolling around in your money?

PARTON: No. I never just wanted to roll around in my money. I always said I`d count my blessings more than I, you know, count my money, but I have had a great career. But I really like what I do. Like you I really enjoy the people, I enjoy the performing. I love making things happen and seeing things happen.

So I`ve been at it since I was a little bitty kid. And I hope to be doing this from now on.

BEHAR: And you...

PARTON: And I have enough money to do what I need and want to do but I still love to work.

BEHAR: What was the first thing you bought when you made money in the beginning because you didn`t start out with a lot of success? What did you do when you first got that big check? I always like that question.

PARTON: Well, actually, I bought a Cadillac. I think every country music star back in those days, back when I started out, I thought if I didn`t have a Cadillac I definitely was not a star. So that was the first thing I bought. And out of -- for myself.

And when my little "Coat of Many Colors" song became a hit, the first money I got from that, I bought my mother a mink coat. That was back when it was still ok to wear it. And my mother didn`t know what to do with it. So I think she probably resold it and used the money on something else.

BEHAR: It`s always interesting to read that in the beginning people were telling you to change your look which you never did. You were always so original in the way you looked and the way you act and it certainly is, you know, something, we always know what Dolly Parton is going to look like and how beautiful you have been all these years.

What did you say to them when they said, "Dolly, you`ve got to change your hair," you look a little bit too, you know, whatever. I don`t know what they said to you.

PARTON: Cheap. Cheap would be a good word.

Actually I really did kind of pattern my look after the town tramp and I always was over-exaggerated. But I always felt like the way I looked -- kind of fit the way I felt inside. Because I didn`t want to just be plain and ordinary. I wanted a little more pizzazz.

And the way I started out looking was a country girl`s idea of glamour. And that`s exactly what I still do. I just feel more like myself. And I just feel happier when I`m overdone.

You see, we have in common that I admire the neighborhood tramp also for some reason. I don`t know why. I just didn`t model myself after her because she was homely; the one in my neighborhood.

PARTON: Well...

BEHAR: Yes. But she was tramping around, believe me.

PARTON: Yes, well this lady, she was -- she wore her clothes, you know, her skirts all short and showed her legs and she wore high heel shoes, red nails, red lipstick and piled her peroxided hair way up high on top of her head. And I`ve thought she was absolutely beautiful.

So that was just kind of the look -- I did and I -- that`s what I said, everybody said she`s just trash. And I always tell the story, I thought when I was little that was I was going to grow up to be trash. And that`s how you and me both look.

BEHAR: Now, you know, that wonderful song that you wrote "I Will Always Love You" that Whitney Houston has recorded and was a big hit for her. I understand that you -- I understand that Elvis wanted to record that. I mean, you said no to Elvis. Why?

PARTON: Well, I didn`t say no to Elvis. I loved Elvis Presley. And he loved my song and he had intended to sing it. He had been working it up. And I had been invited to the session because Felton Jarvis (ph), a guy that was a friend of mine and he was also a great producer in Nashville at the time.

So he and Elvis loved it and had planned to do it and it was only like the day of or the day before that Colonel Tom Parker, who is a brilliant man, and I don`t blame him for doing it. But he called and said, you know, we don`t record any songs that we don`t -- that Elvis and I don`t get have the publishing on. And I thought, well, that`s already been a hit by me. It`s one of my most important copyrights.

So I just didn`t -- I just didn`t let them have it and it broke my heart because I still think about what it would have been like to hear Elvis sing the song. There`s no work tapes of it anywhere that I`m aware of, but it was just a decision I had to make. One of my first big business decisions I guess and it was only after that Whitney recorded it and it did so well that I was really happy I had made that.

BEHAR: No wonder they call you the "Iron Butterfly". As a businesswoman you`re really very good at that, aren`t you? People don`t know that about you, I don`t think.

PARTON: Well, I love the business end of the business. I had to learn that early on. Because when they say you`re in the music business you have to think about those things, about your contracts, about the money you have to make to keep the band on the road and the expenses and to have a bus or ways to travel.

So you have to kind of start thinking early on that yourself until you can afford to hire people that will help you out with that. But I enjoy that -- that part of it as well.

BEHAR: You know, during your live shows you banter with the fans quite a bit, don`t you?

PARTON: Yes. I love the fans. It feels more like a reunion to me, like a family reunion. They`re out there; I know they`ve paid money to come see me. I appreciate that because they`re the ones that keep me, you know, in cheap clothes and hair.

But seriously, I do have a wonderful, warm relationship and I see in their faces. I sense how people are. I can look out in that audience and see all the different faces and I really feel like I can kind of perceive what their moods are. And I`m out to kind of work with that and to cater to that person.

So it`s a love fest, if you`re a true entertainer and you really like the audience. I`m not afraid of the stage, I`m not stage fright. If I mess up I mess up and try to make that part of my show.

BEHAR: When you were a kid, I`m just wondering, were you -- you grew up with 12 other kids, right? You were 1 of 12?

PARTON: Yes, six girls and six boys.

BEHAR: Wow. So how did you get attention for yourself?

PARTON: Well, I actually learned early on that there was not a lot of attention in that family of that many kids and to have a special attention unless you were in trouble or you were sick or something.

So I learned early on that by playing my guitar and writing songs it was fascinating to my mother and to a lot of my relatives, although we were all very musical. All my mother`s people played and sang. And so -- but I realized early on I was getting a lot of attention and so I thought that was something I wanted to do because I needed a lot of attention.

BEHAR: You do.

PARTON: And I still do so it served me well in my lifetime.

BEHAR: Do you think that talent, kind of talent that you have is genetic?

PARTON: Yes. I know that -- all of my mother`s people are very, very musical. Some of my big musical heroes are uncles and aunts and even my mother was a great singer. They were country people; a lot of them sang in church or just sat around and enjoyed just the music.

But I definitely inherited the music from my mother`s side. I`d like to think I get my business sense from my daddy. Even though he wasn`t an educated man, he was a brilliant, intuitive, wonderful person. And I have his work ethic.

I know most creative people will sleep all day and get up and write songs when they feel like it and sing when they want to. But me, I`m up early, early just like I`m going to work. I never think of myself as a star. I`m still just a working girl in my own mind.

BEHAR: You`re a working girl to us, too, but a good one.

Don`t move. We`re going to come back with more with Dolly Parton.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(DOLLY PARTON PERFORMING "JOLENE")

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(DOLLY PARTON PERFORMING "9 TO 5")

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BEHAR: I`m back with the legendary Dolly Parton. You`ve got me moving over here, Dolly.

PARTON: I know. Are you singing along? 9:00 to 5:00, I can just see you now.

BEHAR: Your music is very hummable (ph). You don`t walk away from any of your shows not humming your tunes. That`s a great thing, I think.

PARTON: It is. It`s always a big thrill to me to be on stage. I used to think early on when I used to work with other people that we`re stars and had hit songs and have a whole audience singing along. I thought that must be the neatest thing it in the world to have the whole crowd singing your songs.

Now when we do songs like "9:00 to 5:00" and "I Will Always Love You" and they sing along, it`s a major, major thrill.

BEHAR: Your grandfather -- I was reading that your grandfather was a Pentecostal preacher and he said to you at some point in your life that you were going to hell in a hand basket. Now, what is a hand basket?

PARTON: Oh, that`s just an old expression. It just means you`re going to hell. It just means you`re going to get there quicker, like Satan`s going to carry you there, I guess, in a basket. I don`t know.

But my grandfather was, like you say, a holy-roller (ph) preacher. It was a very strict religion. It was not in the rules to be wearing makeup and tight clothes and all that. But my grandfather was very, very proud of me. He lived to see me become a big star and see that people really did care about me and that I wasn`t as bad as I looked.

I looked like Jezebel but he got over that after he saw that -- after I wrote a song about him called "Daddy was an Old Time Preacher Man". He was really proud of that. That kind of smoothed it over for me.

BEHAR: The other thing is you have a very big gay following, Dolly. Why do you think that is? What do they like about you so much?

PARTON: Well, I do. I think it`s because they know that I`m different, too, and that it took me a long time to be accepted. And I think that they just kind of relate to that. And plus a lot of my gay guy friends, you know, they love to dress up or they`re very sensitive and very creative. I think they relate to that side of me as well.

But I think they just appreciate the fact I just love everybody for who they are. We`re not supposed to try to change people. We should allow people to be who they are and love them as they are.

BEHAR: So then would you say that you are pro-gay marriage? I`m just curious because your background would say otherwise.

PARTON: Oh, I know that`s true. I always say, well sure, why can`t they get married? They should suffer like the rest of us do.

BEHAR: That`s good to know. What would we do without our gay audience? No back lighting. The studio would be barren. It would be terrible. We need them.

PARTON: That`s true. That`s true.

BEHAR: Here`s a Twitter question for you.

"Dolly has a huge gay following. What are your thoughts on Joel Osteen`s view on gays?" Joel Osteen says that gays are not God`s best work. That was his quote.

PARTON: I don`t get into really talking this issue to those degrees but I don`t want to talk about him, I don`t want to talk about them. Like I say, I think God made us who we are and how we are. And I don`t think that if he was a religious person he would be judging people.

BEHAR: That`s nice. That`s good to say.

You just released your double disk CD/DVD "Live from London". Are British fans different from your fans here in the United States?

PARTON: Oh, we have wonderful fans in the United States. But we do have great, great fans in Europe when we get a chance to go there, especially London we love to play. We had actually been on a whole tour -- a five-week tour and we had just -- we were winding up our tour in London at the 02 Arena and we thought we`re going to film this because this has been a wonderful, wonderful trip. And maybe we`ll come back and put it together.

We had such a great time, such a wonderful audience. And all the songs, of course, that they love and all the popular songs, and then we do a lot of variety of other things. We do some interviews, talk to the band, show the rehearsal, show the town.

This DVD is a wonderful thing to watch. It`s colorful and entertaining, but you can see for yourself on the DVD how involved the audience really gets. They knew all the words and they were swinging their arms back and forth on all the songs, they`re singing along. It made for a wonderful experience for all of us and I`m very proud of the DVD and CD.

It`s all in one package. I have it right here. I`m hawking my goods. It`s like, I call it my double D`s. It`s like double disks here. So on one side you`ve got the DVD and the CD -- it makes a nice little stocking stuffer, too.

BEHAR: Your double d`s. You don`t get tired of those boob jokes, do you? You love those boob jokes, don`t you?

PARTON: Well, I might as well learn to love them. If I`m not telling them, somebody`s telling them about me. It`s not like I`m trying to hide them or anything.

BEHAR: No, you shouldn`t hide them. A lot of people pay a lot of money for those boobs.

PARTON: I did.

BEHAR: That was a good one. Ok.

Now, one more question about the record. You now have your own label. The Dolly Records, right?

PARTON: Yes. This is on Dolly Records.

BEHAR: Why did you do that? Why do you need your own label?

PARTON: Well, because -- well, the music business in general has totally changed since the early days with us and a lot of the major labels are not doing that well. So a lot of the artists are really starting their own labels and, of course, everything has changed since then.

But we just thought it would be a smart move to make. I`ve been kind of putting my own records out for a while now. I always say I will always do that even if I have to sell them out of the trunk of my car, I`ll be writing songs and singing them.

But we`ve had actually three records on Dolly Records. We had the cast album from the "9:00 to 5:00 Musical" from Broadway; that`s on Dolly Records. And of course, we have the "Back Woods Barbie" one of the songs from the "9:00 to 5:00" but it was also a CD of mine, the first one. We`re doing pretty good with our little label.

BEHAR: We`ll be right back more with more Dolly Parton. Stay right there.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

PARTON: Thank you. Any how, thank you for remembering "Jolene". That song is kind of loosely based on a little truth that happened years ago when I first got married. This old redheaded gal who was working at the bank, she decided she was going to steal my husband. Well, she didn`t get him.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BEHAR: I`m back with the beautiful and talented Dolly Parton.

Dolly, I want to read you some Twitter questions because your fans are out there and want to know certain things. Is that ok with you?

PARTON: Oh, sure.

BEHAR: Here`s one. I know you`ve been married for 43 years. This person wants to know, "How has Dolly kept her marriage together for so many years when most celebrities don`t last?"

PARTON: Well, I stay gone.

BEHAR: Stay what? I didn`t hear you. I`m sorry.

PARTON: I stay gone from home. I stay gone a lot. So he doesn`t get tired of me.

BEHAR: You stay gone. I go along with that. I have a friend who says that she and her boyfriend or her husband, whatever he is at this point, they have quality time apart. I like that.

PARTON: Yes. That is good. We have quality time together and quality time apart.

BEHAR: All right.

PARTON: We get along real good.

BEHAR: That`s good. Ok.

"Dolly has a lot of dead people in her songs," it says. "Does she have a morbid streak?"

PARTON: Well, I think -- I think all country people have a morbid streak. I think that`s sort of like country music in general because I know I have this one song that I wrote called "Me and Little Andy". And it`s about a little girl with her dog and the little girl dies and then the little dog dies, too, and somebody said, "I`m used to kids and people dying in these country songs but did you have to kill the damn dog?" So...

BEHAR: There`s a theme for a song.

PARTON: Yes.

BEHAR: Are you writing anything about a dead cat that we can look forward to?

PARTON: No, I`m not. I`m not. I am still writing, though. But anyway, to get back to -- in all sincerity, I think that`s just the way of country music -- a lot of people you just write about things that happen. Yes, we have a morbid side but I have a happy side too.

BEHAR: You know, it`s funny you say that, because, you know, I`m Italian. And the Italians love opera and it`s also very sad and from the guts and morbid in many ways and the Grand Ole Opry. I just realized it.

PARTON: Oh, yes, it is similar.

BEHAR: Here`s one more question before I have to go. "What`s the biggest misconception folks have about you?"

PARTON: Well, Lord, I can`t even imagine. I`ve been so out there. I think people know just about everything there is to know about me.

I always just say I want people to not just see the big hair, I want them to know that there`s a brain under there. And not just to see the big boobs, that there`s also a heart under there. Maybe it`s just to see me and just think that that`s all there is. Hopefully there`s a little more than that.

BEHAR: I think that everybody knows that you`re just as smart as you are beautiful and talented Dolly, to tell you the truth. I think everybody knows that at this point so don`t worry about it.

PARTON: Well, thank you.

Again, I wanted to tell you, I watch your show because I`m usually up that time of night and getting ready to kind do my things. But I think you`re doing a great job and I love your hair.

BEHAR: Thank you, Dolly. It was great to see you.

PARTON: I do.

BEHAR: It was great to see you. Come back again whenever you can, ok?

PARTON: Ok.

BEHAR: All right.

PARTON: All right. See you later, bye-bye.

BEHAR: The CD and DVD, "Dolly Live from London" is available now. Dolly Parton thank you for joining us.

And we`ll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BEHAR: From there to here, it`s been a long, long road and my next guest has certainly navigated it well. I`m happy to have the author of "Finding It With Me" the actress Valerie Bertinelli.

VALERIE BERTINELLI, AUTHOR AND ACTRESS: How did I not win an Emmy for that? Seriously, come on.

BEHAR: You couldn`t have been cuter.

BERTINELLI: Oh my god, that`s all I had.

BEHAR: And I hate to jump to this but I was watching this clip before, and I see that McKenzie was in this clip also and she was very young. Was that whole thing going on with her father during that show?

BERTINELLI: I don`t believe, this is the first season, so I don`t believe then, I think it happened a little after when she was 19 or 17.

BEHAR: Yes.

BERTINELLI: She`s 15 here.

BEHAR: Yes, she`s 15.

BERTINELLI: 15 OR 16.

BEHAR: That was a shocking story.

BERTINELLI: Yes.

BEHAR: To hear that that happened. And I never heard the phrase consensual incest before.

BERTINELLI: I know.

BEHAR: I think there was one woman a few years ago Catherine Harrison, who wrote a book called "The Kiss" where she said she slept with her father as an adult also.

BERTINELLI: Right.

BEHAR: But that was semi fictionalized.

BERTINELLI: Was it?

BEHAR: Yes, but this was strange to hear.

BERTINELLI: Yes, well I`ve known McKenzie for a obviously a very, very long time.

BEHAR: Yes.

BERTINELLI: And I`ve known also that she had been tortured for a very, very long time. You don`t continually year after year treat yourself as badly as she did for no reason. I mean there was something going on and obviously we now know why.

BEHAR: Well it`s so shocking that some people don`t believe her. Some people say --

BERTINELLI: I don`t get that. What in the world could she gain from this by saying something so horrific? No, plus -- plus like I said, I`ve seen her struggle with sobriety for so long.

BEHAR: Yes.

BERTINELLI: There`s some stuff going on. I think we need to be giving her grace and just you know, let her be -- the thing is she`s doing great things for incest survivors too.

BEHAR: Right well her sisters -- half sister, China, believes her and the other one - Bijou (ph).

BERTINELLI: Bijou is too young, you know --

BEHAR: They believe her, I mean there -- don`t they? The mother.

BERTINELLI: You know, I don`t know. I only talk to Mac. I haven`t seen China in a lot of years. I don`t know, you know, why they don`t support her. I don`t.

BEHAR: Well no but China said she believes her.

BERTINELLI: Yes, China does.

BEHAR: It`s Michelle, the -- I guess you would call her the BERTINELLI: Stepmother -

BEHAR: Stepmother, she says she doesn`t believe it because it`s impossible that to be married to John Phillips all that time and to believe he would have done something like that.

BERTINELLI: Well for her to blame McKenzie for being high - I mean Michelle was high a lot of those years too.

BEHAR: Exactly.

BERTINELLI: You can turn a blind eye to a lot of things I know I turned a blind eye to a lot of things. So --

BEHAR: We`re talking about a lot of drug addicts.

BERTINELLI: A lot.

BEHAR: Yes, anyway let`s move on to your diet.

BERTINELLI: Yes.

BEHAR: Which I -

BERTINELLI: Speaking of drug addicts.

BEHAR: But you didn`t -- the thing about it, you didn`t take diet pills.

BERTINELLI: No, but food is my drug.

BEHAR: Yes we are Italian. We were talking about this on "The View" today, in the bathroom actually.

BERTINELLI: Yes, peeing next to each other. You are a very quiet pee -- er, too.

BEHAR: Am I a quiet pee-er? I purposely pee very quietly.

BERTINELLI: All of a sudden I realized oh, my god, Joy is there and I couldn`t pee. I`m like okay; I got to get it out now because I can`t just sit here. She`s going to be like why isn`t she peeing? I had to pee. So I finally did pee but I think you had gone by the sink by then. Did you hear me?

BEHAR: I did not hear you. But you have to get over this because - you have to remember the queen of England pees too.

BERTINELLI: And poos.

BEHAR: And does that too.

BERTINELLI: Unless she`s constipated.

BEHAR: I don`t know - that could be a descriptive term -

BERTINELLI: You never know.

BEHAR: You lost 40 pounds on Jenny Craig. I lost 30 pounds on Jenny Craig.

BERTINELLI: Yes, you did. Patty says hello, by the way.

BEHAR: Say hi back to Patty, by the way, whoever she is.

BERTINELLI: I will, I will. She`s the CEO.

BEHAR: Oh that Patty. Okay, I know who she is. But you know I gained 15 pounds back and I`m trying to lose it again. But I have to be paid to lose weight. If they would pay me again, I would lose that 15 pounds.

BERTINELLI: You did you hear that? You hear that? Folks over at Jenny. We would make some fun commercials, would we not, together?

BEHAR: Yes we would.

BERTINELLI: That would be fun.

BEHAR: But you looked great in the bikini shot.

BERTINELLI: Thank you.

BEHAR: Do we have a picture or not? We showed it on "The View" today and you looked gorgeous.

BERTINELLI: Thank you.

BEHAR: And you were really skinny minni there are you worked bay watch off --

BERTINELLI: I worked my butt off.

BEHAR: so that was -- do you still get in a bikini?

BERTINELLI: I was in a bikini all summer and I had a ball because I was in the privacy of my backyard. No paparazzi allowed.

BEHAR: Yes you don`t -

BERTINELLI: Yes, you know, you don`t want the wrong angle being - you know, hanging out.

BEHAR: Well I mean to take a picture in a bikini is very gutsy. I think

BERTINELLI: Well that was different they weren`t taking it out of my behind. They were taking it in front of me, you know, and I was at a good angle.

BEHAR: Yes but you were tight, you were tort. You must have been working out.

BERTINELLI: I worked hard. I worked really, really hard and I`m proud of myself. I set a goal and I accomplished my goal.

BEHAR: Yes.

BERTINELLI: And that is a good feeling for someone who, like me, falls behind on some of the goals they set for myself.

BEHAR: Yes.

BERTINELLI: This is a feel-good experience for me. I gave myself a big pat on the back.

BEHAR: Well I think when you set the goal, people have an easier time dieting than keeping it off. That`s hard, the maintenance.

BERTINELLI: That`s the whole -- the maintenance is this whole other animal that`s really challenging. For the first time -- this is the longest time I`ve ever been in maintenance because I always gained it back.

BEHAR: Yes.

BERTINELLI: So this is a whole new animal for me. And it`s an interesting journey. I`m enjoying it to a certain degree because I don`t want to have to gain the 40 pounds and lose it again. But this is where you get into the nitty gritty of why I gained the weight in the first place.

BEHAR: Well what do you think is the reason? Were you an emotional eater?

BERTINELLI: God a lot of the time. Yes, I still am. I mean I really have to catch myself and watch myself to make sure I don`t fall into that bad habit again.

BEHAR: But I see that some people cannot keep it off. I mean Oprah Winfrey goes up and down. Kirsty Ally --

BERTINELLI: I`ve been a yo-yo dieter all my life too. This is the first time it stuck.

BEHAR: But these girls really have trouble and they`re on television. You know you would think it would be easier to stick your nose to the grind stone.

BERTINELLI: But you know it`s really not -- it`s not. It`s not because we`re all -- that`s Kirsty. We`re all the same when it comes to this. It`s a challenge for all of us, and it`s really not just about will power, it`s about finding out why your life was so chaotic that it manifested itself in over -- in being overweight. And it`s different every day. The stresses are different. The emotions are different. I have good days and bad days --

BEHAR: Well do you eat from depression. Some people eat because they`re happy some people eat because they`re sad. Some people just eat. Which one are you?

BERTINELLI: I`m all of it. I`m Italian, I mean I grew up on food. I mean from the littlest memory I have of watching my grandmother cook you know cook in the basement of my Aunt Adeline`s house. And Uncle Dino so -- and my mom cooked three meals a day.

BEHAR: Did you live in the basement or did you just cook there? The thing is, when you come from a background like ours, the food is good, so you just keep eating it. (video is broken)

BERTINELLI: You ate but you ate three meals and you went out and played and you were outside and when it got dark you went back for dinner, then you went to bed. And the day started off. It wasn`t all this nibbling and eating in front of the television and being unconscious.

BEHAR: so if you work out, you lose weight.

BERTINELLI: If you move your body, yes.

BEHAR: But also when you get over 35 it`s harder because your metabolism slows down. That`s just a fact.

BERTINELLI: So you have to work harder.

BEHAR: Let`s look at this. The Jessica Simpson weight issues.

BERTINELLI: She doesn`t have a weight issue. Man, I still can`t believe Tony dated Jessica Thompson, even after she blew up.

BERTINELLI: How brutal can the media be about press and these people making fun of Jessica. The poor girl, she doesn`t even look heavy to me. Maybe five pounds. I don`t get it. She`s a very beautiful young woman and by the way, I guess that thing about Tony Romo not being good when he was with her, well, he still sucks. Can I say that? He`s not having a very good season, so you can`t blame it on Jessica anymore.

BEHAR: The girls are sticking together over here.

BERTINELLI: I`m sorry, I`m a Saints fan. We`re having a great time. 4-0. They`re playing the giants this weekend and I`m a little scared.

BEHAR: In New York?

BERTINELLI: I don`t know, are they playing in New York or New Orleans? I know I`m not going to be at the game.

BEHAR: The Giants respect from New York, are they?

BERTINELLI: The New York Giants.

BEHAR: I`m terrible.

BERTINELLI: I`m feeling so terrible right now. Tony Romo, I guess you`re a nice guy.

BEHAR: That`s fine. He`s not watching the show any way.

BERTINELLI: Yes, he doesn`t care. I wouldn`t care if I were him.

BEHAR: In the book, I want to talk about the book. You have stuff about your marriage, I love that stuff. I`ll be back --

BERTINELLI: That was a long time ago.

BEHAR: I`ll be back with Valerie Bertinelli in just a minute.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BEHAR: Okay, I`m back with Valerie Bertinelli. Now let`s talk about your new book "Finding It." what did you find, first of all?

BERTINELLI: I`m still finding it.

BEHAR: What is it?

BERTINELLI: Exactly. I`m just -- that whole weird thing about maintenance and finding what caused me to put the weight on, what I`m going to find to help me keep it off. Just finding it in my weird, bizarre life which probably isn`t weird because I think a lot of people have the same story going on.

BEHAR: Oh yes, it`s highly relatable, are you kidding me?

BERTINELLI: Yes.

BEHAR: But you talk about your marriage to Eddie Van Halen, who is a great rock star and a cute guy and everything. How long was that marriage?

BERTINELLI: Well, I think we were married for 20 years.

BEHAR: Wow.

BERTINELLI: But we were separated for some of it. I don`t know. I`ve known him for almost 30 years.

BEHAR: Wow. I can`t believe it`s that long.

BERTINELLI: August of 1980 we met.

BEHAR: Time goes by so fast. It was just yesterday Monica Lewinsky was a little girl under the desk.

BERTINELLI: I just want to know why she didn`t clean the freaking dress. Really are you discussing or what? Clean the dress.

BEHAR: But -

BERTINELLI: Golly I send my clothes in to be cleaned if they get dirty.

BEHAR: Because she`s looney toones you know -

BERTINELLI: Disgusting.

BEHAR: But let me ask you something -- there`s a little bit of a discussion about extra marital affairs in this book. Which usually is the reason people break up --

BERTINELLI: Yes.

BEHAR: It`s not the baloney, Oh my husband -

BERTINELLI: By the time, no -

BEHAR: I need my space, that`s a bunch of baloni.

BERTINELLI: Right.

BEHAR: Somebody is waiting in the wing.

BERTINELLI: Right.

BEHAR: So what happened there?

BERTINELLI: Well I think by the time you start having affairs, something is obviously quite broken in the marriage. So obviously something was quite broken in our marriage early on, but we kept up the good fight and we didn`t quite make it.

BEHAR: But who was cheating on who?

BERTINELLI: You know do you have to know who, when, where, why? We have a little thing going. Ed thinks I did first, but I think he did first. But we don`t know all about the timing.

BEHAR: But I`m interested in it, it`s almost like the same conversation why we eat. People stray in a relationship for an emotional reason usually.

BERTINELLI: Exactly yes because you`re not being emotionally fulfilled in whatever relationship you`re in.

BEHAR: Right well yes. Either that or you`re just a horny dog.

BERTINELLI: That, too. And when you are in your 20`s you know - -

BEHAR: I refer you to Governor Spitzer for example and some of these other dogs that we keep reading about you know.

BERTINELLI: Edwards, yes.

BEHAR: They`re out there hounding it up. But with women, it seems like there`s --

BERTINELLI: We know how to hound it up once in a while too unfortunately.

BEHAR: But we usually have a reason, not just --

BERTINELLI: So we`re given a get out of jail free card? No, no, no.

BEHAR: You think women cheat in the same way men cheat?

BERTINELLI: I think cheating is cheating and it`s wrong and you shouldn`t do it. And I can speak from experience from having been cheated on and having had cheated, and I got to say, I think the feeling, it feels worse for me to have cheated, because that feeling of the pain I inflicted on somebody I don`t ever want to do again. The good thing is that now I`m in a relationship that I know I don`t want to hurt that man ever like that.

BEHAR: So you learned -

BERTINELLI: Yes, I`ve learned my lesson. Monogamy is in my life and if I think I can`t be monogamous with this man, which I seriously doubt because really, okay I`m not going to go there -- well, he`s really good in bed.

BEHAR: Better than Van Halen was? You don`t have to answer that.

BERTINELLI: Oh, my god, my parents are watching this. Oh, I`m sorry, pop. I love you. Hi, mom. I`m still a virgin, right?

BEHAR: Well, you`re like a virgin.

BERTINELLI: Right. I had a child 18 years ago.

BEHAR: But what was I saying?

BERTINELLI: I don`t know. Let`s go get a drink.

BEHAR: The thing about monogamy when you`re younger, like under 40, monogamy is monotonous is really the truth. And when you`re young -

BERTINELLI: Well I guess it depends on who you are being monogamous with.

BEHAR: Well it is difficult to stay monogamous when you`re young I think.

BERTINELLI: Oh absolutely.

BEHAR: You`re still finding "it" -

BERTINELLI: You are still finding it, yes, whatever that it may be.

BEHAR: You know.

BERTINELLI: Right.

BEHAR: You know so that`s the real reason.

BERTINELLI: That`s why I think getting married at 20 was stupid and I don`t suggest anybody do that.

BEHAR: No.

BERTINELLI: I think more mature love that I`m going through right now, I`m with my buddy. I really enjoy his company. He`s my best friend. I don`t want to hurt him.

BEHAR: First of all, you named your son Wolfgang William Van Halen. You left out the Bertinelli, fortunately for him. It could take a year to say his name. But you really named him after Mozart, didn`t you?

BERTINELLI: Amadeus, yes.

BEHAR: Were you lying in bed close to very post orgasmic one night and listening to Mozart and said you know what, Wolfgang, that`s the name for this kid.

BERTINELLI: No I love the movie Amadeus.

BEHAR: Oh it`s a great movie.

BERTINELLI: And I love the way Elizabeth Berige (ph) say Wolfie, Wolfie. And I thought that sounds really cute. And trying to come up with a name that goes with Van Halen wasn`t real easy. His father`s name was Jan. But it`s spelt Jan. So I didn`t want - if he was going to be a boy to be called Jan.

BEHAR: Yes.

BERTINELLI: Because I`d just sit and think that it would cut it in the -

BEHAR: How about Robert Van Halen, that works.

BERTINELLI: No.

BEHAR: Tom Van Halen?

BERTINELLI: no.

BEHAR: Frank? How about Sal -- Salvatore.

BERTINELLI: Salvatore Mazzarino (ph) Van Halen.

BEHAR: I think Wolfgang determines that the kid had to be in the business with your husband though - and he is right?

BERTINELLI: Luckily he got dad`s gift. He`s very lucky he got dad`s gift and not mine.

BEHAR: Why - you have a gift too -

BERTINELLI: A vomit mouth?

BEHAR: But what instrument does he play?

BERTINELLI: Oh, he started on the drums when he was 9 and he picked up the guitar when he was 12 or 11 and his dad asked him to play the bass and he plays the bass.

BEHAR: Talented.

BERTINELLI: He`s very talented. He has a beautiful singing voice. There`s my boy.

BEHAR: Which one is he?

BERTINELLI: That one.

BEHAR: Oh he`s cute.

BERTINELLI: He`s a cutey pie.

BEHAR: Very cute.

BERTINELLI: Big boy. And he is now teaching himself the piano. And he kicks ass in rock band.

BEHAR: He`s teaching himself - really. Does he sing, too?

BERTINELLI: Yes, he does. He sings very, yes.

BEHAR: And what was that whole thing today about him being a virgin. You think he`s a virgin.

BERTINELLI: I mean really seriously?

BEHAR: Yes.

BERTINELLI: We`re going to talk about that?

BEHAR: It`s funny today.

BERTINELLI: I just got a text from my son too and he says we are watching the View now. And I got it a couple of hours later, and I said, are you still speaking to me? --

BEHAR: Well you were teasing about it.

BERTINELLI: I was.

BEHAR: I mean he`s now 18 years old.

BERTINELLI: He`s 18. So he`s a virgin, right?

BEHAR: Yes, whatever. He might be, he might not. It`s none of your business now.

BERTINELLI: It`s none of my business.

BEHAR: Let go.

BERTINELLI: As long as he is protected -- I don`t want to talk about it.

BEHAR: All right, never mind. This happened today, also you didn`t want to talk about it. But is it in here, in the book?

BERTINELLI: Well I talk about the sex talk and the sex talk that Ed had with Wolfy.

BEHAR: You were listening to it.

BERTINELLI: Yeah, it was on the road and we were listening in the dressing room. And I could hear Ed talking to him. And he has this gravelly voice and he was saying, you know, be careful with what you do with your heart and protect her heart and be careful of the skanks and whores and bitches that will want to date you because you`re in a rock band.

BEHAR: Well, he should know.

BERTINELLI: I would not put it exactly that way. But, it`s good information for him to have. Because I have ran into some skanks and whores in my lifetime.

BEHAR: I bet you have.

BERTINELLI: Oh, yes.

BEHAR: But, you are happy with the way he spoke to your son?

BERTINELLI: I am. You know what? I may joke around but he`s a really good dad.

BEHAR: Are you friends with Eddie now?

BERTINELLI: Well, I don`t know, we`re friendly. I don`t know if I would ever call him my friend or my buddy the way Tom is my buddy, but I like him again and I fell out of like with him for a long time. I have always loved him. But I like him again. And I like his new wife. They are good people.

BEHAR: He got married again, too.

BERTINELLI: Yes, I was at the wedding.

BEHAR: Oh, that`s so nice.

BERTINELLI: So was Tom. Tom was with me.

BEHAR: You know, once you have a child, you never really separate 100% from your husband. It`s impossible.

BERTINELLI: No. So you must treat each other with kindness and you must love your children more than you hate your ex.

BEHAR: I am not letting you go yet. More with Valerie Bertinelli when we return. Because I won`t shut up. We have many more things to discuss.

BERTINELLI: Can somebody please have Tom come in here so I can make him see the look on her face.

BEHAR: Let`s put Tom on camera.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BEHAR: Valerie Bertinelli and her boyfriend Tom Vitale are sitting across from me. We have been discussing Valerie`s new book, Finding It and a Lot More. Welcome to the show, Tom. We dragged you in here from the green room. Now you two are an item for how long?

TOM VITALE, BOYFRIEND: Five years.

BERTINELLI: Five years next week.

BEHAR: So you have been dating for five years. Are there wedding plans?

BERTINELLI: We are living in sin.

BEHAR: I know, me too for 27 years.

BERTINELLI: What did you call him the other day?

BEHAR: Spousal equivalent.

BERTINELLI: I love that, you`re my spousal equivalent, honey, because I don`t want to do the seating chart.

BEHAR: You are not going to get married?

BERTINELLI: I don`t want to do the seating chart. Everyone gets mad at you. Nobody wants to be a table at 17. I don`t know why.

BEHAR: How about you? You want to get married, Tom?

VITALE: I don`t know. She hasn`t asked me yet.

BEHAR: So if she asked you, you might say yes?

VITALE: I might. I might.

BERTINELLI: I didn`t say that.

BEHAR: Where did you two meet?

BERTINELLI: At my brother`s house in Scottsdale, Arizona. My brother, Patrick and his wife, Stacey, we were going to a wine event and I keep my wine in the freezer, especially in Scottsdale.

BEHAR: In the freezer?

BERTINELLI: No, but then you get it out before it gets too cold. I know, I bruise my wine all the time. That`s the way I like it. So I take it out before it gets too frozen and he was in front of the freezer. And I saw this guy in a tux that looked like that.

VITALE: It was a black tie event.

BERTINELLI: Yes. So I said, hello, I`m Valerie and you are -- I`m tom.

BEHAR: So what did you think about a big star coming onto you, Tom?

VITALE: It was difficult. I had to get used to it.

BERTINELLI: At event he kept -- every time my champagne glass would go down to here, I would have another one in my hand. I was like -- what the -- that was before Jenny Craig.

BEHAR: Oh, he met you and fell in love with you before --

BERTINELLI: When I was big.

BEHAR: I love that.

BERTINELLI: Yes.

BEHAR: See, that`s a keeper. That`s a keeper.

BERTINELLI: Yes. He`s a keeper.

VITALE: I was big, too. I was 220

BERTINELLI: Yes, he lost a lot of weight too.

VITALE: They criticized the women.

BERTINELLI: Look how big your belly was. Look, it`s not big anymore.

BEHAR: You know, we have a couple of e-mails for you. You want me to - questions for you from e-mail. There was a question from --

BERTINELLI: You can read that without glasses?

BEHAR: Yes. I know. I`m older than you, believe me. The people magazine prints it every month.

BERTINELLI: Yes, but if they didn`t put your birthday, wouldn`t you be offended?

BEHAR: No. I would not. I mean they do it like glassy, 12, I mean, they are ridiculous. So this woman, she writes, I`m on a very low calorie program now. And I am worried about when I get back to real food. How did you handle that and are you still on Jenny Craig?

BERTINELLI: Yes, I am still on Jenny Craig. She has to turn her head around because if it`s a super low, I don`t know how much weight she has to lose, but maybe she`s on a too low of a program. But as you -- as with jenny, as you start to incorporate other food into your program and as you get to a maintenance level, you can up your calorie count but you don`t up it to a point where you go back to your bad behavior.

BEHAR: But you`re off of the food that they packaged for you at that one point?

BERTINELLI: No, I still eat it.

BEHAR: But not 100%?

BERTINELLI: Some days I do eat it 100%. I just want to have a nice, clean day and know what`s going into my body. I`ll just do Jenny and my two snacks.

BEHAR: You know, Valerie, I just love you. I think you are just adorable, you are my kind of girl.

BERTINELLI: Yes, you are my kind of gal.

BEHAR: I just love it. Tom too, I think you are just a wonderful little couple. I love this. Thank you Valerie and Tom and all my guests for joining me tonight. And thank you for watching. Good night, everybody.

END