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Joy Behar Page
Interview With Michael Moore; Interview With Richard Belzer
Aired March 11, 2010 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
JOY BEHAR, HOST: Tonight on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, Michael Moore has ruffled more feathers than the audience at a Liza Minnelli concert. And the Oscar winner will be here.
Then Howard Stern made unflattering remarks about Precious` Gabby Sidibe. That`s so surprising, isn`t it? He`s so tactful and diplomatic usually.
And Kevin Federline, the guy went from Brit to split to getting fit on "Celebrity Fit Club". He`ll join me, too.
That and more right now.
Just when you thought Tickle-gate couldn`t get any worse, former congressman Eric Massa is facing new allegations that years ago he climbed into a Navy shipmate`s bunk bed and tried to snorkel him. Creepy, right? I don`t even really know what it means.
Here to talk about Massa --
MICHAEL MOORE, DIRECTOR, "CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY": Don`t look at me. I went to the seminary. Actually, that might indict me. How did I end up on this show?
BEHAR: Here to talk -- don`t say anything about the seminary.
MOORE: All right.
BEHAR: Ok, you know who he is, Oscar-winning director Michael Moore. All righty.
MOORE: To be honest, I just did come from taking a shower with Rahm Emanuel.
BEHAR: Did you really?
MOORE: Yes. And I want to say there was no finger poking or anything.
BEHAR: Nothing?
MOORE: He was a true gentleman. And he had the kind of soap that have the little speckles in it that gives you kind of the loofah effect while your sudsing so you don`t need a loofah. The guy is way ahead of his time.
BEHAR: Do you know what snorkeling is?
MOORE: I`ve never heard. I think it`s something you do in the Caribbean when you go on vacation.
BEHAR: I don`t think this particular type has anything to do with seeing the coral reef. I think it has some other meaning that people look -- have to look up in the urban dictionary and then we`ll find out what it is.
MOORE: Yes. Have you looked it up?
BEHAR: Someone did. Someone did in the staff.
MOORE: But not you?
BEHAR: No, I have virgin ears.
MOORE: Right.
BEHAR: So what do you make of this Massa mess? Let`s talk about it.
MOORE: Well, you know, I think we`ve all been bored; it`s the middle of winter. We need some entertainment.
You know, honestly, I`ll tell you how I really feel. I feel bad. I feel really bad that we still live in a society where someone who is gay still feels the need to hide as deep in the closet as possible. Even though when he himself is flinging the door wide open, he still feels this need to maintain this -- actually I saw a great documentary this year -- it didn`t get much distribution -- it`s called "Outrage".
BEHAR: I saw it.
MOORE: Did you see it?
BEHAR: It`s great.
MOORE: In this documentary, the film maker actually exposes the members of Congress who are gay but only exposes the ones who have voted against gay or HIV issues, in other words, the hypocrisy, not just purposely outing them to out them.
But it`s a compelling movie, and actually Massa is a Democrat. 99 percent of these closeted gay members of Congress are Republicans.
BEHAR: Yes. They`re the ones who vote against gay marriage.
MOORE: Right.
BEHAR: They vote against gays in the military, all that stuff.
MOORE: What`s odd about Massa is that he`s a Democrat. Democrats and liberals are generally accepted. That`s the definition of a liberal, you know, "I accept you for who you are and I have an open mind." So it`s sad that he has to put himself through this.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: The Republicans sort of embraced Massa for about 24 hours this week.
MOORE: Yes.
BEHAR: But they dropped him like a hot rock right now.
MOORE: Right. Yes, well, yes. But I`m sure during the 24-hour embrace many of those Republicans enjoyed it.
BEHAR: I hope so. I hope they did.
So now do you think that -- just to finish this up -- do you think that Rahm Emanuel really did go into the shower naked and poked Massa and sort of intimidate him? Is Rahm Emanuel -- is that typical behavior?
MOORE: No.
BEHAR: You don`t believe it?
MOORE: I don`t believe it. I don`t know him that well. His brother is my agent --
BEHAR: Ari.
MOORE: -- the famous Ari.
BEHAR: He sounds like he`s notoriously evil also.
MOORE: Oh, no. No, no.
BEHAR: Ari?
MOORE: No. He`s the force of good against the evil.
BEHAR: Is that so?
MOORE: Oh absolutely. Let me tell you this right now, Fahrenheit 911 never would have seen the light of day. It would never have been distributed in theaters had Ari Emanuel not exposed Disney who was going to put it on the shelf -- because they own Miramax, that`s who did the film -- and they weren`t going to distribute the film.
And Ari went public with it on the front page of "The New York Times". They wouldn`t let him on the Disney lot for six months. So this was a -- if you need an agent in Hollywood, call Ari at --
BEHAR: But I was really referring to the massacre at the William Morris office that he took over. It was pretty ugly over there. So that`s an inside thing, I think we probably don`t talk about.
MOORE: People don`t care about any of that stuff.
BEHAR: They only care about celebrities getting their projects done.
MOORE: There was an agent massacred in Hollywood? Oh, the horror.
BEHAR: I was at the William Morris office and my agent got that scoop.
MOORE: Oh, I see. And I was at that endeavor so essentially my agency --
BEHAR: Ate my agency.
MOORE: -- ate your agency.
BEHAR: Yes, that`s it.
MOORE: Oh, capitalism.
BEHAR: You see how it goes.
You know what Michael? We`re going to take a break and get comfortable because we have a lot to discuss. We`ll be back in 60 seconds with more of Michael Moore. Don`t go away.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with Oscar-winning film maker Michael Moore. His most recent film "Capitalism: A Love Story" is out now on DVD -- and this is a fabulous film. People should all rent that movie or buy it at this point.
MOORE: Oh, no. You should have seen it in the movie theaters. I mean we make films --
BEHAR: Don`t, don`t, don`t.
MOORE: People should go to the theater to see a movie. Unless you`ve just had a baby in the last couple of years and you can`t get out of the house, I understand.
BEHAR: But Michael it`s not playing in the theaters right now.
MOORE: I know. So they missed it.
BEHAR: That ship has sailed.
MOORE: We should just worry about the next film now. Don`t shout any DVD`s.
BEHAR: What is your next film by the way?
MOORE: I don`t have one.
BEHAR: Let`s talk about the Democrats who really are on my last nerve. First of all --
MOORE: That`s generous. They`re on no nerve with me.
BEHAR: I mean they are dropping all over the place and we`re going to lose the whole Congress in November.
MOORE: That is correct, yes. As I`ve said on my Web site, they`re in for an ass-whooping of biblical proportions, absolutely. If they don`t turn this around right now, if they don`t change; they don`t do the job they were sent there to do, it`s all over for them.
BEHAR: So what do they have -- what does Obama have to do? You know this whole thing about, you know, reaching over the other side, that`s really -- who cares?
MOORE: Yes. No more kumbaya.
BEHAR: No. We`re done with that. I don`t know if he has it in his personal character, his personality to be strict like that.
MOORE: Right. Which is a good thing and bad thing because it actually -- because I think he is a decent person; because I think he has a good heart.
BEHAR: He`s a gentleman.
MOORE: Absolutely. And I think he really came in there with one -- he`s not going to give up his own personal political beliefs but I think he really did want to figure out how to work with them. When they come into town, when the Republicans win, they get in their Hummers and they barrel down Pennsylvania Avenue with all guns blazing, get out of the way, we`re in charge. And these are the laws we`re going to pass. And that`s that.
That`s not the Democratic way.
BEHAR: Why? Why can`t we do that?
MOORE: Because we don`t like to start wars -- we`re like a peaceful people.
BEHAR: Well, he`s in Afghanistan, he`s in the war. He`s doing it.
MOORE: He inherited a war that, again, he doesn`t have the wherewithal to say, "You know what? That is a mistake." It wasn`t a mistake to go after the killers of 9/11. But al Qaeda essentially is not in Afghanistan anymore.
BEHAR: I know. Where are they? We can`t catch up with them. They`re moving around.
MOORE: They`re everywhere.
BEHAR: And now -- did you see that thing about "Jihad Jane"?
MOORE: That`s why the war will never end.
BEHAR: Did you see that "Jihad Jane"? She`s a blond with blue eyes type now -- they can`t even stereotype them anymore.
MOORE: I know. Yes. I just think -- look -- it`s best to treat people who commit murder like this as criminals. That was our whole wrong approach as we treated it as a military operation, when it should have been a criminal operation.
You do what the Israelis do, you send in the Mossad, and you grab them and you bring them to justice. That`s the end of that. I mean after a trial, you know, a jury verdict.
BEHAR: Of course. There has to be a trial.
Now, Karl Rove has a book out.
MOORE: Yes.
BEHAR: And he said this, he said Americans are hard to mislead. Do you agree with that?
MOORE: No, actually we`re quite an easy people to mislead in part because this is another reason why people in other countries actually do like us as individuals. We`re a very trusting people. We`re a very kind of --
BEHAR: Is that dumb?
MOORE: No, it`s not dumb. It`s actually -- wouldn`t you rather be a trusting person than not?
BEHAR: Well, there`s a difference between being trusting and being naive.
MOORE: Well, that`s -- I`m just saying that`s the good side of the coin.
The bad side of the coin is we have created a society of ignorant and illiterate people. Our schools have done this; our media has helped to contribute to this. We have 40 million adults in this country right now who are functional illiterates. That means they can`t read and write above a fourth grade-level.
When you have a society that dumb, so to speak, that ignorant --
BEHAR: Well, ignorant, yes.
MOORE: -- that -- well, dumb, I mean, dumb in the sense of --
BEHAR: Uneducated.
MOORE: -- well, they`ve been kept that way.
BEHAR: Illiterate.
MOORE: I mean, it`s an enforced dumbness by a system that doesn`t value education that puts it low on the list of priorities. And I was just watching CNN here earlier today and they had this guy on talking about this in terms of how the college tuition has gone up and kids -- kids who come from the poor and working class, they were told to work hard in school all of these years and the ones who did, now they can`t afford to go to college.
BEHAR: Right.
MOORE: So what`s the message here?
BEHAR: The message is go to a state school. I went to Queens College and Stony Brooke and I had paid nothing for my education practically. And --
MOORE: Well, but that -- but that was you know --
BEHAR: A long time ago.
MOORE: And in California and in New York a long time ago.
BEHAR: Yes.
MOORE: I remember those times.
BEHAR: Yes.
MOORE: I remember thinking people I knew that lived in these two states that got to go to college for free. I mean, you guys were like friends.
BEHAR: That`s true.
MOORE: You know.
BEHAR: And I had it all, $24 a term.
MOORE: Yes.
BEHAR: All right, stick around, more with filmmaker Michael Moore on the way.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with Oscar-winning filmmaker and every Republican`s worst nightmare Michael Moore.
MOORE: No, no, I love Republicans. I, in fact, admire --
BEHAR: Ok.
MOORE: I admire Republicans.
BEHAR: All right, let`s do it again.
MOORE: Yes.
BEHAR: Ok, we`re back with the most charming man in show business, Michael Moore. Everyone loves him, Republicans, Democrats.
MOORE: I love Republicans.
BEHAR: Pinkos, commies.
MOORE: Oh, no those are the --
BEHAR: Right wing -- Glenn Beck, they all love him.
MOORE: Yes, I don`t know about that guy.
BEHAR: Ok.
MOORE: I thought you were just going to refer to those from the planet earth.
BEHAR: Ok, Arianna Huffington was on Bill Maher last week, as were you.
MOORE: Right.
BEHAR: And she said -- I believe it was there, she said your anger reminds her of a TEA partier. Do you see any similarities between you and the TEA party?
MOORE: Well, I think the -- yes, I think the average citizens who are drawn to it, I think are justifiably upset at the fact that they`ve lost their homes and the banks have gotten billions.
BEHAR: Right.
MOORE: That the number one cause of bankruptcy right now in America is medical bills and people are hurting.
BEHAR: Right.
MOORE: And this is not unusual, but they way that -- but those who have really started the TEA bag movement --
BEHAR: I don`t think it`s TEA bagging --
MOORE: The TEA party --
BEHAR: But that`s another --
MOORE: Yes, the TEA Party Movement.
BEHAR: Check that in the urban dictionary.
MOORE: Yes, you started this.
BEHAR: Go ahead.
MOORE: You took my mind into the --
BEHAR: Oh, I`m sorry, it`s my fault.
MOORE: The TEA Party --
BEHAR: I`m Satan`s spawn.
MOORE: Yes, the -- TEA Party Movement is -- look, historically it`s not unusual for those on the right, especially those in power, who hold power and money, to manipulate the working people and the have-nots, the people who have been hurt by the system and take them rightward.
BEHAR: How do they do that? They do it.
MOORE: Fear.
BEHAR: They have people --
MOORE: It`s fear.
BEHAR: -- vote against their own interests.
MOORE: Because they`re more afraid of -- of what could possibly happen and they are convinced that the boogie man is going to get them.
BEHAR: Yes.
MOORE: It`s how they sold they the war --
BEHAR: Fear.
MOORE: -- it`s how they sold all of this stuff.
And the fear seems legitimate because obviously so many people are living from paycheck to paycheck right now.
BEHAR: Yes.
MOORE: They don`t know if they`re going to be able to pay the mortgage next year. They don`t know if their kids are going to go to college.
BEHAR: But you know, Michael, with the bank bailouts and the Republicans started that TARP thing --
MOORE: Right.
BEHAR: -- and then Obama continued it.
MOORE: Right.
BEHAR: And so the wrath is targeted to the Democrats and targeted to Obama.
MOORE: Yes, because they owned it, they owned it, that`s right. He took it over and he owned it. And instead of bringing in a new idea, a new fresh idea, he brings in their ideas and brings back the guys, Summers --
BEHAR: Geithner.
MOORE: -- and Geithner and Rubin who were, in large part, responsible for the best to begin with.
BEHAR: I know, that was -- I don`t understand why he did that. And I`m not happy with that. Are you?
MOORE: No, I wasn`t happy the day he did it.
BEHAR: No.
MOORE: And I tried to rationalize it at the time and thinking well, you know, he`s doing what my dad did, you know, when you make a mess in your room, you have to go in and clean it up. So he`s brought the people in who`ve made the mess in Wall Street --
BEHAR: Right.
MOORE: -- and he`s going to force them to clean it up.
BEHAR: Yes, but they haven`t.
MOORE: No, they haven`t --
BEHAR: They haven`t.
MOORE: -- in fact, not one single -- not one single regulation has been put back in place on Wall Street or the banks and so they`re back to doing their derivatives and your credit default swaps --
BEHAR: Now, why can`t they put the regulations in -- what is holding that up?
MOORE: Because the lobbyists for Wall Street are lining the pockets of the Members of Congress and the White House and they`re not going to allow this thing happen. And so get ready for crash number two. And that crash could be worse than the last crash.
BEHAR: Well, you can see why people are furious.
MOORE: Of course and fearful.
BEHAR: And on both sides. On both sides.
MOORE: Right.
BEHAR: All right, let`s do a Twitter question.
MOORE: Ok, you got you --
BEHAR: I have a couple of Twitters.
MOORE: That people sent in to you?
BEHAR: Yes, about you. What`s up with the baseball hats? Hats, it`s plural.
MOORE: Yes, that`s a very -- I don`t know -- you know, I come from Michigan, I come from the Midwest. We all wear all these things, we have worn it all our lives. But I agree with you, I have a full head of hair.
BEHAR: Yes.
MOORE: This is what guys wear when they don`t have any hair. I got my hair. And I think starting right now on your show I`m going to retire - -
BEHAR: The hat?
MOORE: The ball caps. No I`m --
BEHAR: Seriously? No, no, no.
MOORE: Don`t do that --
BEHAR: It`s part of your thing. It`s part of your head --
MOORE: My thing?
BEHAR: The fabulous (INAUDIBLE) --
MOORE: And what would be the comparable (INAUDIBLE) for you?
BEHAR: For me?
MOORE: Yes.
BEHAR: I don`t have a (INAUDIBLE), so I only have earrings. Did you lose weight? You looked smaller on your last -- you look smaller on your - - this is a tweet --
MOORE: Yes, yes.
BEHAR: -- on you`re last TV appearance. Did you lose weight?
MOORE: I have -- I`ve lost about 60 pounds here in the last 12 months. That`s correct.
BEHAR: Wow. How did you do it?
MOORE: Well, I read this book somebody gave me, it`s called Pritikin --
BEHAR: Well, the Pritikin diet, yes.
MOORE: Yes, it`s been around I guess forever. And so I just tried it and it`s basically eat your fruits and vegetables and go for a walk every day. Move around and you know, just eat enough for the fruits and vegetables that your grandma told you to eat and you`ll be ok, and that`s what I`ve done, it`s very simple, a pound a week --
BEHAR: A pound a week.
MOORE: -- is all I`m trying to lose. Yes very slow.
BEHAR: So like in 100 weeks you`ll lose 100 pounds?
MOORE: Well, that`s well, I`m --
BEHAR: That`s two years.
MOORE: I`m -- I`m -- yes and so I`m ---
BEHAR: Not that you need to lose that much but a person could?
MOORE: No, but I didn`t -- I`ve been doing that for about 60 weeks now I`ve lost 60 pounds --
BEHAR: That`s good.
MOORE: And I want to lose another 60 pounds. I mean, so --
BEHAR: No, no, no.
MOORE: Yes, yes, yes. It`s -- yes.
BEHAR: You know, the obesity crisis in the country is the new crisis, now. We did smoking, now we`re going the obesity crisis.
MOORE: Well, the sad part of it is that the fact that so many of our kids are obese now and getting diabetes --
BEHAR: I know.
MOORE: -- that we would do this and talk about child abuse. I mean, and I would say again to my Republican friends, you should see this as a national security issue, because we`re raising a generation of overweight, diabetic kids and they`re not going to be able to defend you.
Hey -- I got -- I asked my Twitter people.
BEHAR: We have one tweet -- we have to extend this segment.
MOORE: I told them that you were tweeting about me, so I tweeted about you and they want me to ask you a question.
BEHAR: What?
MOORE: The first question is, how was it to be acting in Manhattan Murder Mystery with Woody Allen?
BEHAR: It was great, I loved it.
MOORE: And Alan Alda, great man.
BEHAR: I love Alan Alda and Woody Allen did not come on to me because I was over 15. Thank you, Michael, so much.
"Capitalism: A Love Story" is out now.
MOORE: He`s one of our great directors, Woody Allen.
BEHAR: He is but he`s still a bit of a perv.
MOORE: Well --
BEHAR: Oh, come one.
MOORE: Well, we can check in to you too, you know. I mean --
BEHAR: No, no, no, no, no.
MOORE: We`re all -- we are all flawed people.
BEHAR: Who marries their daughter, come on? Get over it.
MOORE: Stepdaughter, sort of, kind of.
BEHAR: Now on DVD and Blu-Ray.
MOORE: Ok, you`re right.
BEHAR: Up next, an Apple employee has claimed "Law & Order" star, Richard Belzer, choked her. My pal Richard will give me his side of the story.
So stick around.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Richard Belzer has spent a decade playing the role of a New York City police sergeant, much. But yesterday the tables were turned after an employee at the Apple store here in New York called 911 claiming that Belzer choked her.
Here to tell his side of the story is Richard Belzer. Richard, tell me what happened.
RICHARD BELZER, ACTOR: Hi, Joy.
BEHAR: Hi, darling. What happened?
BELZER: Well, I was in the Apple store, which is a beautiful store here in --
BEHAR: It`s gorgeous.
BELZER: -- in Manhattan and I go there a lot and the employees there are fantastic, they all love their job. They`re all very open and friendly and ready to smile. And I was standing by the genius bar, because I can`t hang out at a normal person`s bar. I have to be at the genius bar.
BEHAR: What`s a genius bar?
BELZER: That`s where all the geniuses are who help you with your computer -- it`s called a genius bar.
BEHAR: Oh, I see. Ok.
BELZER: So I was at the genius bar, maybe I was delusional thinking I was a genius. So I was waiting for a while. And then an employee from the store came over with a clip board and said, can I help you and I`ll show you what I did. Can I get up here?
BEHAR: Yes.
BELZER: And this is -- care to swivel towards me a little bit. So this is literally what I did. And it`s on tape at the store. I said, "Yes, I need somebody to help me." She said "I know who you are, sir, don`t touch me."
BEHAR: So you touched her body?
BELZER: Just the way I did to you. So she said, well -- I said, just get someone to help me. And I was in this tone of voice, I wasn`t yelling or anything. I was actually smiling.
BEHAR: She said -- "I know who you are," she said?
BELZER: Sir.
BEHAR: Sir.
BELZER: Yes. And I said could you get somebody to help me? And she did. About ten minutes later, I was upstairs at the store and about five or six of New York`s finest came in because they got a 911 call that there was an assault at the Apple store.
So apparently this girl thought about it for a while and said, well, that`s Richard Belzer -- so the police came. Let me just say about the New York police department. As a rule, they`re the most gracious, best cops in the world consistently. And they were a little kind of embarrassed that they had to be there.
I mean there`s real crime going on in the city and somebody calls up and says they`re being attacked in the store. They had to show up. So they looked at the video to the security tape and they said Mr. Belzer, Richard, whatever, your version of the story is obviously correct and we`re sorry about it and this girl clearly had some kind of agenda.
BEHAR: I see.
BELZER: But she said I was choking her and screaming at her.
BEHAR: So do you want to apologize to the girl at all --
BELZER: Do I?
BEHAR: Yes, you know, for scaring her maybe?
BELZER: I didn`t scare her. She said that later. No, I told the officers there, who were great, I said tell the girl I`m very sorry.
BEHAR: So you did apologize?
BELZER: Yes. It was the most innocuous, non-threatening gesture you can possibly imagine. And I`m known for choking and screaming.
BEHAR: I know. I`ve known you for many years and even though some people think you may look scary with your black outfits, you know, and your dark glasses and your -- you know, you`re very -- but you`re not. You`re a very gentle soul. You love dogs.
BELZER: My dogs are here who you won`t let on the show -- kidding. No my dogs are under the table.
BEHAR: My eyes tear when your dogs come near me because I`m so moved and touched by them. And I`m allergic.
Thank you Richard for coming on --
BELZER: Well, thanks Joy for helping me.
BEHAR: -- and sharing your story with us.
BELZER: Yes. And I hope that girl gets help.
BEHAR: Yes, I do too.
BELZER: No, I`m not being facetious.
BEHAR: Yes. Ok.
Up next, has Tiger Woods hired Bush PR flack Ari Fleischer to help with his comeback or does he need Dr. Oz to fix this spin? I`ll have details.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: According to "The New York Post," former George W. Bush adviser Ari Fleischer is helping Tiger Woods navigate his return to the golf course later this month. That actually seems a bit excessive. I mean the course is usually outside the clubhouse door. Does he really need that much help?
Joining me to discuss this and other silly stories are comedian and managing editor of bestweekever.tv, Michelle Collins. Cast member on "Celebrity Apprentice" and lead singer of "Poison" Bret Michaels. And host of WNBC`s "Talk Stoop With Cat Greenleaf", Cat Green lee. Okay this guy - okay let`s start with you, Cat.
Bush`s former secretary Ari Fleischer is being hired to resuscitate Tiger.
CAT GREENLEAF, HOST, WNBC`S "TALK STOOP WITH CAT GREENLEAF": Yes.
BEHAR: Now given that Ari Fleischer was the front man during the Bush Administration when they were pushing the war in Iraq.
GREENLEAF: Yes.
BEHAR: Would you believe anything that he said?
GREENLEAF: A, no. But B, I think it was a genius hire for something a little bit more recent than Bush. It was Fleischer who orchestrated Mark McGwire`s apology on January 11th, okay that was a day before the Haiti earthquake. The biggest natural disaster ever, genius move right? McGwire apologizes out of the news because Haiti takes over. So I think Tiger thought, this guy has something, I`m going to go at it.
BEHAR: Don`t you think people could turn on him for picking Ari? People who hate Bush.
GREENLEAF: I know, yes.
MICHELLE COLLINS, MANAGING EDITOR, "BESTWEEKEVER.TV": And hate Jews. People who hate Jews are furious I know. Ari Fleischer, oh you can`t go wrong. As a Jew, I mean he is like the perfect man to bring home.
BEHAR: Really?
COLLINS: Jewish liar, my mom has been dreaming of me to find one Joy for years now, yes.
BEHAR: Well Bret, you`re a guy`s guy. What would you advise Tiger?
BRET MICHAELS, CAST MEMBER, "CELEBRITY APPRENTICE": Well there`s a couple things going on here. First of all, I would say this, Tiger should have said as I said when this unfolded, he should have said look, honey - now a singer in a rock band because then no one cares. And immediately it goes away, the whole situation, they expect. I tell something I did this, they couldn`t care less. We expect that, it`s in the contract.
BEHAR: Yes, you have a few little things in there -
MICHAELS: Yes, you`re a complete screw up from the beginning -
BEHAR: Yes.
MICHAELS: And nobody expecting anything from you, a lot like "Celebrity Apprentice" it is the same premises.
COLLINS: (UNINTELLIGIBLE).
MICHAELS: Thank you - I thought that I should.
COLLINS: Yes.
MICHAELS: And but what I was going to say is I think in this situation, I think honesty, literally at this point is it is what it is. And I`m saying this and I`m going to get sincere, not funny for a second. I think that a lot of people got hurt, obviously his wife, his children, this kind of stuff. All I can say is I think you step up to the plate and you say, this is what happened. This is what I did. I made a mistake. I know this has come out, but you`re not going to navigate. You`re in it now.
BEHAR: Well I saw a picture of him and his wife, Elin, Elin and his wife and they were all wearing Nike. Does that sound cynical? They`re back together but wearing Nike?
GREENLEAF: Were they drinking Gatorade?
COLLINS: Elin is like shaving with Gillette.
(CROSSTALK)
COLLINS: Yes, I think his mistake is not hiring a spokes person who has slept with more skanks than Tiger. Like he needs to hire -- I didn`t want to say it, but Bret right here.
MICHAELS: Wow.
COLLINS: He can make a point at Tiger right now.
(CROSSTALK)
MICHAELS: Who said anything about fixing his problems. Tiger says I didn`t do anything, it was Bret Michaels, and he is my buddy, and he was covering for me, he was my wing man. Tiger was my wing man and he did none of this.
COLLINS: Right.
MICHAELS: It wasn`t Tiger, it was me.
(CROSSTALK)
MICHAELS: Yes, yes, yes.
BEHAR: Now, a lot of people have been asking the question, change of subject, can Oscar nominee Gabby Sidibe find work again because of her size? We even talked about it on this show, but nobody talked about it the way Howard Stern did. Listen.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
HOWARD STERN, HOST: And there`s the most enormous fat black chick I`ve ever seen, --
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh my goodness.
STERN: Gabrielle Sidibe. Everyone is pretending she`s --
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And she`s going to be around.
STERN: And she`s never going to be in another movie. And she really should have gotten the best actress award because she`s never going to have another show. What movie is she going to be in?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Okay what do you think about this? Calling her a fat black chick is obnoxious.
COLLINS: Well, I do condone the way he was speaking I do think he kind of has a point just about this phenomena with her. Like, I think it`s hard enough for most black actresses to get work in Hollywood as it is. Like Gabrielle Union has trouble. But all of a sudden people are writing these parts for Gabby right now because she`s like trendy, she`s so different. You know what I mean?
GREENLEAF: Well, right because a lot of people -- she`s having her moment and she`s enjoying it. Is she going to go on and on and do great films forever? Probably not, like so many actresses. But this is her moment, she`s grabbing it -- why not?
BEHAR: Do you think Howard should apologize, Bret?
MICHAELS: You know what I say this, again --
BEHAR: Because he also - could said that she was a size of a planet, he was nasty.
MICHAELS: I know - the world. Here`s the thing with Howard Stern, you know, as you said, Howard Stern is what he is. He`s going to say what he wants. The beauty of American is the freedom of opinion.
BEHAR: Yes.
MICHAELS: However, my thing about it, forget all of what Howard said for a second. Here`s the thing. Being a life-long type one diabetic, right, four shots a day and all that. I feel that forget about work for a minute, she obviously wants to get a hold of herself. Forget about the size, I`m not talking about the size.
BEHAR: Yes.
MICHAELS: Get a hold of her health. I mean she`s not going to be doing any films if she --
BEHAR: You get four shots a day and all that sex, too? How do you pull that together?
MICHAELS: Yes, I never said -- I didn`t say it was insulin, all of it. Hey - did I tell you I`m on "Celebrity Apprentice?"
(LAUGHTER)
MICHAELS: No, I`m just kidding.
BEHAR: Just FYI, Sidibe has a Showtime show, they picked up 13 episodes, she`s in a movie. I believe she`s in another movie, she`s got a lot of stuff.
COLLINS: Modern Family is writing a part for her I think on ABC.
BEHAR: I mean, you know, and also, I think you know maybe at the size she is now, she`s too specific. But if she lost some of it, then she would just be a full figured gal. I think that would fit her into more parts.
COLLINS: I think the opposite. I think if she loses weight, she won`t get any work. I think part of the thing with her is that she`s like a big girl. She is a really big girl. I mean --
BEHAR: But you`re not allowing for her talent. She`s very good.
COLLINS: How many talented actresses? I mean, I could Joy be, if they allowed tall Jews in movies, tall Jewish women, I would be the next "Precious". I would have been --
BEHAR: They don`t allow tall Jewish girls in movies?
COLLINS: That`s finished, it`s finished, that`s why I have to write some "Precious" jokes before I came here, based on a novel -
BEHAR: What do you think, Cat?
GREENLEAF: Look, I think the health concern is a real one. And I think it`s a little strange. Everyone is like it`s so great that you`re getting recognized, even though you`re fat. You go girl. Well being fat is unhealthy. Being fat as she is.
BEHAR: Well that`s another story. I mean he did backtrack on it by saying I don`t want her to die and have problems because of her health. But you know, does he really care about her health? Let`s get real here.
COLLINS: He does not care. Anything for a fat joke, let`s be honest. I think it was a cheap shot on Howard`s part.
BEHAR: Fat jokes are really quite passe, in my opinion. I think it`s over with that, that`s just me.
MICHAELS: I agree.
BEHAR: Okay let`s move on to this other one, ageism. 88-year-old Betty White is heading to "Saturday Night Live" and she`ll be the oldest host the show has ever had. I hope those kids can keep up, because she is funny. How did it happen? Does anyone know how this happen?
GREENLEAF: Yes she did the Snickers commercial for the Super Bowl and a guy named Dave Matthews in Texas became such a fan that he started a facebook group that then had 500,000 followers. Somehow they petitioned "Saturday Night Live" and Lorne Michaels went for it.
BEHAR: Wow.
GREENLEAF: And here she is, she`s booked on May 8th. She`s going to be the host. What`s funny is Michaels is saying, I don`t know about her stamina, she`s really old. But I worked out some (UNINTELLIGIBLE). She goes to the early bird special at 4:30, then gets into bed by 7:00, by the time show time rolls around, she can have a full night`s sleep and hit it.
BEHAR: Well I mean the thing about her that I love is that there are a few people that are older these days, over 75 who are on television. And doing quite well. Regis Philbin, Larry King.
MICHAELS: Myself.
BEHAR: But I mean, --
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: A tall Jewish man on television.
COLLINS: Don`t tell me twice.
BEHAR: And you know, the networks are constantly about the 18 to 49. You know why they say that Bret why they only want that audience?
MICHAELS: Yes, the demographic -
BEHAR: The demographic, because they say that after you`re 49, you decide what toothpaste you`re going to use the rest of your life, what car you`re going to buy, unless you have a Toyota. I mean, it`s like, is that true? That`s not even true, is it? Why don`t they get with the program and understand that the baby boomers are coming up en masse and people over 50 should be everywhere.
GREENLEAF: Well they are the ones with the money to spend. You know that`s when you have the money to spend.
COLLINS: Well Betty White`s talent I think overtakes her age. Because she`s truly, just her timing, her whit. I think that the smartest thing a female could do is write a sketch where she drops in the middle of it, like she should pass out and they should call the EMTS.
BEHAR: You think that would be funny?
COLLINS: I think that would be hilarious, ratings wise. And then she`s fine. They had that thing in "The Proposal" where she pretended to die.
BEHAR: Uh huh.
COLLINS: In "The Proposal".
BEHAR: Yes.
COLLINS: Big ratings. Or like in "Golden Girls"
BEHAR: Here`s the other thing about Betty. She posed for a nude photo from 70 years ago. Do we have a shot of the nude picture? There she is. Look at her. She was a hot number.
MICHAELS: Was she in "Rock of Love?"
(LAUGHTER)
COLLINS: Next season Bret.
BEHAR: And they posted it in the Inquirer. And I heard she was not happy about it. I would be thrilled.
COLLINS: Do me a favor.
BEHAR: I would love it if they had one of me.
MICHAELS: Let me just say this, first of all, that picture - that picture is hot, right?
BEHAR: Yes.
MICHAELS: She pushed women`s lib, everyone talked about women`s lib, in the 60s and all that in the Revolution and all this stuff. I think she was pushing it at what 40s, I think Betty White, first of all, she`s funny, I think she`s sexy. I think demographics are the stupidest thing I ever heard of in my life.
BEHAR: They are.
MICHAELS: People you know all of a sudden that at 49 1/2 years old, it`s over, you can`t be on ratings --
BEHAR: It`s ridiculous.
COLLINS: Yes.
MICHAELS: I`m like at 18 you`re not worth anything.
COLLINS: I know but that was - listen if that was my card, I would be in a hot air balloon right now throwing aces to the sides all over --
BEHAR: Okay thank you everybody she was way ahead of her time. I mean she was like the Paris Hilton of the day.
(CROSSTALK)
COLLINS: Oh I love -- I love Betty White.
BEHAR: Wait a second around the Marilyn Monroe time when she was naked. Okay, thank you, everybody. And please don`t forget, catch Bret on "Celebrity Apprentice."
MICHAELS: I wasn`t here to promote that at all.
BEHAR: No, not at all. Premiering Sunday at 9:00 p.m. on NBC. Up next, Kevin Federline tells me about life after Britney.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Kevin, the weight loss for the week was three pounds. And your weight tonight is -- 218 pounds. You lost four pounds.
KEVIN FEDERLINE, VH1`S "CELEBRITY FIT CLUB": That`s great. I mean, it`s incredible. Thank you guys, already. My whole attitude toward healthy food has just changed.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Well that was Kevin Federline, the ex-Mr. Britney spears who has slimmed down with the help of VH1 "Celebrity Fit Club." joining me now is Kevin Federline. How do you do, Mr. Federline?
FEDERLINE: I`m good, how are you doing?
BEHAR: All righty now you put on a lot of weight after you slit up with Britney. Was that depression or doughnuts?
FEDERLINE: Probably both.
BEHAR: Tell me about the depression part.
FEDERLINE: Well, I mean, I went through a very public divorce and it was tough. Any divorce, I think, especially when kids are involved, is -- it was hard on me.
BEHAR: Yes. Were you prepared for the instant celebrity of being with Britney and then losing it like that?
FEDERLINE: I don`t want to say I was prepared for it. But I took it in stride.
BEHAR: You did?
FEDERLINE: Yes.
BEHAR: But you were sort of beaten up by the press, they said that you were an opportunist. Is that a fair thing to say? Do you think they were unfair to you?
FEDERLINE: No, I mean, fair or not fair, it was what it was. I was with the person that I loved at the time and all things happened the way they did.
BEHAR: And what is your relationship with Britney right now?
FEDERLINE: We`re good. A lot better. A lot better.
BEHAR: Really? Do you see her?
FEDERLINE: Rarely, yes.
BEHAR: How often do you see her?
FEDERLINE: I don`t know. I probably could count on my fingers, you know, this year.
BEHAR: On one hand?
FEDERLINE: Four or five. Yes, definitely.
BEHAR: Let`s talk about the eating issue. When did you realize that your eating had gotten out of control?
FEDERLINE: I saw a picture of myself actually when I was in Miami, I was out at the pool and I just looked huge and I realized I let it get away from me.
BEHAR: You didn`t notice it about yourself until you saw the photo?
FEDERLINE: Well I mean I think I did but I kind of ignored the fact. You know once you get into a weigh gaining situation and being lazy, it just all added up and really hit me all at one time.
BEHAR: Yes, I noticed the media was calling you k-fat. That must have hurt.
FEDERLINE: I mean it`s not very nice.
BEHAR: No it isn`t but the media is not that nice sometimes.
FEDERLINE: That`s right.
BEHAR: Uh-huh. Now you were a professional dancer. So what happened there? Dancers usually can maintain their weight.
FEDERLINE: Yes, well I hadn`t been dancing for a few years. So it was -- it all began to take its toll. I think, and then hitting 30, my metabolism started slowing down, being lazy, eating pizza all the time.
BEHAR: Yes.
FEDERLINE: Every other day. You know it doesn`t help. Drinking a 12 pack of soda a day doesn`t help.
BEHAR: And what was your weight at your heaviest then?
FEDERLINE: I was around 240 at my heaviest.
BEHAR: And now?
FEDERLINE: I can`t say what I`m at right now but I`ve lost a lot of weight.
BEHAR: Why can`t you say it?
FEDERLINE: Because we still have the show going on. So I can`t really reveal how much I`ve lost.
BEHAR: Oh, it`s a big secret.
FEDERLINE: Well supposedly, yes.
BEHAR: Well did you really want to go on a show to lose weight, to lose the weight or because it would resuscitate your career or it was good publicity?
FEDERLINE: Well I mean, there`s not too many bad things that come from weight loss. I`m pretty sure a lot of American people are overweight. And you know it didn`t really -- it didn`t bother me to be on TV losing weight. I looked at it as a good opportunity for me, you know, and being in the right hands I had everything that I needed.
BEHAR: Okay. There was a little bit of a controversy, a little accusation that maybe you put on extra weight before the show for the more dramatic effect. Any truth to that?
FEDERLINE: Right, no, actually none at all. Whenever I found out like a Friday or Thursday or Friday that they wanted me to do the show and I had to make up my mind over the weekend. So unless I could gain 40 pounds in four days.
BEHAR: Oh, I could do that. Now your ex-girlfriend and mother of two of your kids, Shar Jackson, is on the show with you. Let`s take a look at that.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SHAR JACKSON, MOTHER OF FEDERLINE`S TWO KIDS: The past five years, I`ve seen every relationship he`s been in. I`ve seen way more than I need to see. It`s never going to be easy, because I was so in love with him, and I got hurt and whatever and this is a new person that he`s giving all of the love that I used to have too.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: She`s not happy.
FEDERLINE: No, it doesn`t sound like she is.
BEHAR: Was it a publicity stunt to have both of you on the show?
FEDERLINE: You know, I found out at the same time they asked me to do the show. So I don`t think it was a stunt. I just think it worked out, you know, to their benefit, I`m sure.
BEHAR: Let me ask -
FEDERLINE: You know it was great. We`re good friends, you know, obviously there`s emotional baggage there for her. And you know, I think going through this process with me, it really helped, you know. I think that if she can move on, then I think it`s really good for our children, it`s good for our lives in the future, you know. It`s all positive.
BEHAR: How old are you, Kevin, 32-ish?
FEDERLINE: I`m going to be 32 in a few days.
BEHAR: So you`ve got four kids. Can I ask you a two with share. Can I ask you a question, where is your income? Where is the money?
FEDERLINE: Well, I mean, I`ve saved a good amount of money. I make good money here and there. So I get jobs where I can and I make it all happen.
BEHAR: It`s expensive to raise children.
FEDERLINE: Yes.
BEHAR: And now you have another girlfriend, Victoria Prince.
FEDERLINE: Yes.
BEHAR: Who is a very fit volleyball player. Are you going to have more kids with her?
FEDERLINE: I wouldn`t rule it out. I wouldn`t rule it out.
BEHAR: Really?
FEDERLINE: Uh huh. I mean I love being a father. I love children. I -- it`s the highlight of my life.
BEHAR: But you must be giving some consideration to the fact that you have to put them through college, they get colds, they have to go to the doctor, they need clothing and shoes and the usual.
FEDERLINE: Yes, right, right, I`m not saying -- sorry to cut you off. I`m not saying that I`m running out and trying to have more kids right away, you know. It definitely would be a thought out decision.
BEHAR: Now, Britney has some cash, so you don`t have to worry about those kids, right?
FEDERLINE: Of course.
BEHAR: Yes, okay, Kevin, thanks for coming on. Good luck with your weight loss.
FEDERLINE: Thank you very much.
BEHAR: Your welcome, catch Kevin Federline on "Celebrity Fit Club" Monday`s at 9:00 p.m. on VH1. We`ll be back in a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Mom stop dancing, you are embarrassing me.
RACHAEL HARRIS, ACTRESS: Oh come on, I`m just keeping time to the music.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I`m begging you, please stop.
HARRIS: Okay, okay.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Once again I`m the only sane person in the room.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That was a scene from the new movie "Diary of A Wimpy Kid" which opens Friday, March 19th, and the very funny star of the movie Rachael Harris is here with me. Welcome to the show with me, Rachel. I`m a big fan of all those movies that you`ve done with Christopher Guess and "Best In Show", "The Mighty Wind", "Most Of Your Consideration"
HARRIS: Yes.
BEHAR: That was a very funny movie.
HARRIS: Thank you very much.
BEHAR: And this one, real I haven`t seen this one yet but it - from that clip it looks hilarious.
HARRIS: It`s so funny my dance moves. I really crush it with the dancing. No it`s very sweet and very fun and it just with all the awkwardness that you go through from grade school to middle school.
BEHAR: Oh yes, I think anybody can relate to it as a kid. Were you that kind of kid as that kid or were you more accepting of your mother`s and father`s stupidity?
HARRIS: Oh, no. I was mortified on a daily basis by my mom and dad.
BEHAR: Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
HARRIS: Yes, and my dad would drive me to school and I`d have him drop me off two blocks from the high school because he drove a big truck. He was a blue collar worker and I went to school with a bunch of white collar kids and --
BEHAR: Oh you were ashamed of him.
HARRIS: I was ashamed of him.
BEHAR: Wasn`t that awful?
HARRIS: I`m so sorry dad.
BEHAR: When you look back on that, don`t you feel bad?
HARRIS: Oh, it`s heart crushingly bad but it`s the truth and I think that`s why people can relate. Because we all had this horrible, horrible feelings about our parents.
BEHAR: Yes and well the way they stoop - their underwear was always raggedy and awful - oh that`s just my father -
(LAUGHTER)
HARRIS: No, no but - that`s just funny. Yes they had big underwear, I just remember my mother with huge - oh you`re welcome, mom. Old lady underwear. Yes.
BEHAR: So this is a departure from your potty mouthed "The Hangover" which was pretty (EXPLICATIVE DELETED) funny.
(LAUGHTER)
HARRIS: Thank you. It is a departure. It`s so weird, you know. It`s that crazy thing where people always ask me, how did you play that mean of a woman? And I`m like, oh, she`s in there. I just don`t let her out very often. Because I would -- I`m single now and it would -- I really -- it`s been a disservice, I think.
BEHAR: Are you divorced?
HARRIS: I`m divorced, yes.
BEHAR: How long were you married?
HARRIS: Five years, together seven.
BEHAR: And it`s over?
HARRIS: It -- yes, sadly, it`s over.
BEHAR: Oh well onto the next.
HARRIS: All right.
BEHAR: You are still beautiful, and young, and gorgeous and so fine.
HARRIS: Thank you.
BEHAR: I know, the thing also that is interesting to me, your parents are these Conservatives from Ohio.
HARRIS: Yes.
BEHAR: So they must be so relieved to see you in this children`s show.
HARRIS: They are.
BEHAR: Which is based on by the way, I didn`t say, a series of books.
HARRIS: Right.
BEHAR: That kids in their tween years, right.
HARRIS: Right, Jeff Kenny wrote four books, it`s a series and he`s - it looks like a real journal, the books, and they have animated characters, like stick figure characters. And so it`s throughout the story, too, like you see the stick figure characters and then we sort of meld into the real people. So it`s a great way of combing the book and making it into --
BEHAR: And the parents will be proud?
HARRIS: And my parents will be so proud of me. I mean my mother has gotten good at saying to her - they`re very - I mean they go to this beautiful Presbyterian church in Westerville. I probably shouldn`t say that.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: It`s all right.
HARRIS: But you know, my mother has gotten very good at saying, but we just separate the person from the characters.
BEHAR: I think that`s a wonderful idea. Thank you so much for joining me, Rachael. "Diary Of A Wimpy Kid" hits the shelves March 19th.
HARRIS: I like you better that way - I like you better right there.
BEHAR: 9 -- Good night, everybody.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: I feel like -
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
END
