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Joy Behar Page
Lohan in Court; Simon Monjack Found Dead
Aired May 24, 2010 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
JOY BEHAR, HOST: Tonight on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW a judge ordered Lindsay Lohan to wear an alcohol monitoring bracelet. You know that`s why our country is so great. Our legal system comes with accessories.
Also financially-strapped Sarah Ferguson is caught trying to sell access to Prince Andrew. You know, maybe in England this is a huge embarrassment, but here in America, we call it lobbying.
And Sarah Palin comes to Rand Paul`s defense saying that the press is looking for that gotcha moment by asking complicated questions like which newspapers do you read?
All that and more right now.
Big news out of London tonight: Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of New York has been caught on camera selling access to her ex-husband, Prince Andrew. We`ll have much more on this story in just a bit.
But first, Lindsay Lohan finally made it to court today to pressed charges that she violated probation. The judge set new bail conditions including an ankle bracelet to detect alcohol.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MARSHA REVEL, JUDGE IN LINDSAY LOHAN`S HEARING: Do you understand and accept the conditions if you`re remaining out on bail?
LINDSAY LOHAN, ACTRESS: Yes, your honor.
REVEL: (INAUDIBLE)
SHAWN CHAPMAN HOLLEY, LINDSAY LOHAN`S ATTORNEY: I do.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Here now with the latest is "Access: Hollywood" weekend co- host and correspondent Shaun Robinson. Shaun, Lindsay finally turned up in court today. So tell us what happened.
SHAUN ROBINSON, WEEKEND CO-HOST, "ACCESS: HOLLYWOOD": Well, Joy, as you know, she was supposed to be in court last week, but unfortunately she was in Cannes, France, at the Cannes Film Festival. She says she lost her passport. The judge was supposed to be on vacation this week and she postponed the hearing until today and postponed her vacation until today, because she wanted to preside over this hearing. It is the second schedule probation status hearing for Lindsay.
And what the judge said is that Lindsay has to wear now a SCRAM bracelet, as you said. It is this bracelet, this ankle bracelet that monitors alcohol intake. In addition, she has to go to alcohol education classes once a week in addition to doing random drug testing, that she has to actually go in for. That is every single week.
Now the only thing that would prevent her from going to the alcohol education classes is if there is a random drug test that she has to go to. So Lindsay said she is going to adhere to all of these guidelines because she does not want to be thrown in jail, which she could have been last week -- Joy.
BEHAR: Well, she only spoke once. Is she taking this seriously, Shaun? I mean she`s a menace on the road, this girl.
ROBINSON: Well, Joy, you know, let`s hope she`s taking it seriously because, you know, a lot of people do not believe that she`d lost her passport. Whether she did or not or whether it was stolen, you know, we actually don`t know.
But it`s interesting because her attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, said that this bracelet would interfere with her filming in Texas. She has a movie scheduled to film in Texas and also some upcoming photo shoots.
And Joy the judge basically said, that`s too bad --
BEHAR: Right.
ROBINSON: -- because then you could not be monitored for your alcohol intake. So the judge was pretty stern today. So let`s hope that Lindsay knows there is no room for error in this case.
BEHAR: Yes, yes. There`s a certain feeling that I`m above the law in some way because I`m an actress. I`ve got a movie to do.
ROBINSON: Exactly.
BEHAR: You know, too bad about her.
The judge imposed random weekly drug testing and a ban on drinking. Are Lindsay`s partying days over, do you think?
ROBINSON: Well, you know, as you can see on Access Hollywood, there was a stretch, Joy, when she was going out. And I can`t remember the exact number, but, like, 31 nights in a row or something like that. I don`t know the exact number, but we know that Lindsay obviously does a lot of partying. And whether there`s drinking involved in that partying we could probably say yes.
So she`s going to have to go, like we said, to random drug testing -- these random drug tests, and also -- that bracelet, anytime she walks into a club, that bracelet is going to go off if she has a drink.
BEHAR: There`s a certain amount of denial in this whole story, I think.
ROBINSON: Yes.
BEHAR: You know what I mean? Nobody gets pulled over for DUI who is not a menace on the road or who does not have an alcohol problem, in my opinion. So thanks very much Shaun, for the update.
ROBINSON: Thank you Joy.
BEHAR: Ok, I now want to bring in Lisa Bloom, CNN legal analyst and also Michael Lohan`s attorney. Gloria, your client Michael, he says -- I`m sorry, Lisa -- what did I call you?
LISA BLOOM, CNN LEGAL ANALYST AND MICHAEL LOHAN`S ATTORNEY: I don`t know, just don`t call me late for dinner, Joy.
BEHAR: I don`t know why -- Lisa, my dear, I know you.
Anyway, he says he`ll do anything to keep his daughter out of prison. But we keep hearing she`s not interested in this guy`s help. And she`s over 21 now. Why is he in this at all?
BLOOM: Because this is his daughter, this is his flesh and blood and he loves her. And to tell you the truth, Joy, Lindsay does contact Michael from time to time. She calls him, she texts him, they text back and forth.
I would say they have a strained relationship, but I wouldn`t call it an estranged relationship. I know that Lindsay has been very angry at Michael because he`s asked her to go to rehab a number of times. He`s asked her directly through me and through her attorney. We`ve been pressing for that for almost a month now.
And we`ve asked the court, Joy, for stricter controls. We wrote a letter to the court on May 6 and the court today imposed many of the kinds of controls that we asked for, specifically random drug testing. We think that`s very important.
Does Lindsay like that? No. Does it help her relationship with her father that he asked for that? No. But was it the right thing to do? I think most parents would agree it was.
BEHAR: Yes. But she blames him. Some reports are saying that she blames him for losing her passport in London. What is that about?
BLOOM: That`s pretty sad. You know, Michael was here in Los Angeles.
BEHAR: She said that he stole her passport.
BLOOM: Right. She was in France at the time, he was in Los Angeles at the time.
BEHAR: Right. France.
BLOOM: I think that`s very unfortunate that she would blame him when obviously he was on a different continent. Michael would have no interest in stealing her passport.
In fact, behind the scenes through me and contacting her attorney, he was trying to help her get back. He works for a jet company. He would have arranged a jet for her to get her back, a private plane. But unfortunately she didn`t take him up on that offer.
BEHAR: So if they`re in different continents, where did she come up with this one? Is she just drunk? Is that it?
BLOOM: I don`t know. I can`t explain how she would come up with that.
And I`ll tell you something. No matter what she says about Michael, he loves her, he stands by her. He wants to help her. She can lash out at him if she needs to do that. But he loves her and he`ll stand by her.
BEHAR: Does he take any of the blame for the fact that the girl is obviously an alcoholic now and is always in trouble. I mean there must have been some bad parenting down there some where.
BLOOM: He certainly does. And he`s apologized publicly to her many times. He`s apologized privately to her. He certainly is not a perfect parent. He`s made his mistakes as all of us have who are parents.
But right now, the focus is on Lindsay. He wants to help her. He still stands by ready to help her no matter what she says. As I say, we`ve written a letter to the court. He`s worked tirelessly behind the scenes to find a good rehab program for her, to try to urge her, beg her, bribe her, cajole her to go to rehab. And he`s going to continue to do that until she does.
BEHAR: Well she -- she was asked on Sunday if she was scared to go to prison. So listen to what she told Hollywood TV.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
LOHAN: I don`t see what reason I would go to prison for. I`ve been more than in compliance with everything having to do with the court system. I`ve been up to par and I would be done in two weeks and three days.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: She`s missed court days. She didn`t complete her alcohol- counseling classes. What is up with this girl? Is she delusional, is that the issue here?
BLOOM: Well, I`m not going to call her any names, but she certainly has appeared to have violated her parole -- her probation, rather --
BEHAR: That`s not calling her names.
BLOOM: -- by missing --
BEHAR: Lisa, that`s a diagnosis.
BLOOM: Ok, fair enough. Look, she appears to have missed 3 out of the 13. And look Joy, before today, all she had to do, the only term of her probation was to go to those alcohol in-classes once a week. A lot of people who are convicted of DUIs and cocaine, as she was, are ordered to have random drug testing the whole way through, to wear the ankle bracelet.
She didn`t have that order in effect until today. She had it pretty easy. All she had to do was attend those alcohol classes. She failed to do that. She put herself in jeopardy by failing to do that.
Now she has the ankle bracelet, the order of no alcohol, and the order of random drug testing. But she still has a chance to clean up her act if she`s good between now and July 6, the judge may still look favorably on her and not incarcerate. So it`s all up to her now.
BEHAR: Well, good for -- I hope she does it. I mean if she wants to be in the movies she`ll be uninsurable pretty soon. And she won`t be able to even do that, so.
All right. Let`s move on --
BLOOM: You know, people have turned themselves around. Look at Britney Spears. Look at Robert Downey Jr. Michael and I very much hope that she`ll take this opportunity to turn her life around.
BEHAR: Right. Right. Listen, we wish her the best. She`s a confused kid as far as I`m concerned.
Let`s move to another Hollywood story. Brittany Murphy`s widower, Simon Monjack, was found dead Sunday night under almost the exact same circumstances in which Brittany died. Police say it appears that he died of natural causes.
Joining us is Dr. Ian K. Smith, medical expert and author of "Happy: Simple steps to get the most out of life".
Ok. Lisa, let`s start there. This death is eerily similar to the death of his wife, Brittany Murphy, five months earlier. What happened?
BLOOM: Well, you`re right. It is eerily similar. He was found in the same room, the bedroom, the same bed -- their marital bed -- in the same house and by the same person, Brittany`s mother.
They`re both young people in their 30s in seemingly good health. It`s hard to understand. And both times in Brittany`s case and now today with Simon Monjack, the police say they died of natural causes. We know now from the corner`s report with Brittany, in fact, prescription drugs were a factor, as well as natural causes, pneumonia. We can only imagine what`s going to happen when we get the coroner`s report after Simon.
BEHAR: Why was he still living with his mother-in-law? That`s odd.
BLOOM: No. I`m not saying that she was living there. She may have been visiting. I don`t know that she was living there. But she was the one that found both of them after they were deceased.
BEHAR: Ok. Ian, a doctor reports that the pill bottles on the night stand were the same as the ones found after Brittany died. What does that tell you?
DR. IAN K. SMITH, MEDICAL EXPERT: Well, listen, I`ve got to tell you, it`s very suspicious; a 39-year-old gentleman who dies from a heart attack or natural causes, very suspicious. I know they`re saying that there wasn`t any foul play. But you have to -- when you`re investigating a case like this, you have to look at the victim or the person`s history as well as the surrounding circumstances.
And the idea that Brittany died, and it said in her coronary report, from multiple drug intoxication among other things, you have to start asking questions.
One thing Joy that`s become a problem that come to light recently but has been an age-old problem is that prescription medications have now become the drug of choice instead of the illegal black market drugs. And so this is more common than you think.
So I don`t know if this is -- we have to wait until toxicology reports tell us what has happened, but I would not be surprised if someone says that they have found maybe too many of these prescription medications in his system.
BEHAR: Yes. Right. Now, you know, we`ve heard that the spokesperson said that Monjack had heart trouble but that he didn`t want -- he sort of postponed taking care of that. What do you know about that? Ian or either one of you -- I don`t know who knows that.
SMITH: Well, the report is that he needed bypass surgery which is basically he had at least one blocked coronary artery which feeds the heart. So that was the report. And the report also says that he decided to hold off on it because other things were going on in his life.
If that is true, and once again, this is what`s been reported -- if that is true, then it makes sense that maybe he did die from a heart attack.
Listen, coronary artery bypass graft is a very serious surgery and it`s needed because you`re not getting blood flow to the heart. If he didn`t do this, then hey, maybe that could be the reason why he died.
BEHAR: Right.
BLOOM: And Joy --
BEHAR: Yes.
BLOOM: -- maybe he died from a broken heart.
BEHAR: Lisa, you`re such a romantic.
SMITH: There is a broken heart syndrome.
BLOOM: Well, it does happen.
SMITH: There is such a thing but I doubt it. It does happen but in these days that`s rather doubtful.
BEHAR: That`s not a diagnosis, Lisa.
BLOOM: It does happen.
SMITH: No, it is a real syndrome. Joy, it is a real syndrome. It is a real syndrome. Seriously.
BEHAR: All right, ok.
BLOOM: Thanks, doctor, for backing me up.
BEHAR: Ok. Thank you guys.
Up next, my favorite sparring partner, Ann Coulter stops by to talk tea parties and Sarah Palin, my favorite subject.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Coming up a little later on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, a royal scandal erupts as the Duchess Sarah Ferguson is caught on tape accepting nearly three-quarters of a million dollars in bribe money.
And, rocker Bret Michaels is hired; the latest on the rocker`s heart-warming "Celebrity Apprentice" victory.
Now back to Joy.
BEHAR: According to Miss Sarah Palin, it`s not Rand Paul`s stance on the Civil Rights Act that`s causing him problems. It`s those pesky reporters who had the gall -- the gall, I tell you -- to ask him about it.
Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SARAH PALIN, FORMER GOVERNOR OF ALASKA: One thing that we can learn in this lesson that I have learned and Rand Paul is learning now is don`t assume that you can engage in a hypothetical discussion about constitutional impacts with reporter or a media personality who has an agenda. You know, they`re looking for that are gotcha moment and that`s what it evidently appears to be that they did with Rand Paul.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Here with me are Ann Coulter, conservative commentator; and Bill Press, radio host and author of "Toxic Talk: How the radical right has poisoned America`s airwaves".
Ok guys. First of all, let me start with you. Do you agree with her that the press was out to get him since he has repeated this many times before?
ANN COULTER, CONSERVATIVE COMMENTATOR: Yes, I think she made a good point there. I think this is a tempest in a teapot but I do want to say -- I mean this is the problem with, not a big problem, but this is what`s going to happen with citizen candidates.
A professional politician would know, don`t chitchat like that. What he said is something you and I could have argued about on your radio show but neither you or I will ever run for office.
BEHAR: Why is this a tempest in a teapot? What part is the tempest?
COULTER: He doesn`t want to repeal anything. Libertarians have lots of crazy ideas -- he`s probably written a billion letters to the newspapers calling for about privatizing the roads.
BILL PRESS, AUTHOR, "TOXIC TALK": Wait, wait. Let`s just say here. Look. This is not is a trick question. Do you support the Civil Rights act of 1964? That`s not a trick -- it`s like is the sky blue?
COULTER: No, but he does support it.
PRESS: She was not trying to -- nobody was trying to set him up. As you said, he said this many times, you`re right. That`s the thing. His problem is not the pesky reporter. His problem is that`s just what he really believes. He really believes the stuff that government should have nothing to do with private business whatsoever.
COULTER: But it`s a moot point. He`ll be an interesting voice in 100 senators. It`s not like libertarianism is going to sweep the nation here.
PRESS: No, he won`t. I don`t think so. And the Republican Party is stuck with him. During the primary, nobody bothered to look at what Rand really stood for. They just said he`s the anti-establishment guy.
COULTER: Right.
PRESS: We like him. I liked him. But now you turn around and see he`s kookier than his father.
BEHAR: So when you see the fine print --
(CROSSTALK)
COULTER: These are irrelevant issues. It is a thought experiment.
PRESS: Are we ignoring you? I`m sorry.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: You can`t choose between the two of us.
Let`s go back to Palin, my favorite conservative, besides you. Why is it that she turns everything into victimization, she`s a victim, Rand is a victim. The press is always after her?
COULTER: Well, they are.
PRESS: No, no.
BEHAR: Oh, come on.
COULTER: She`s not turning it into that. She`s just stating facts.
BEHAR: Well, the press didn`t go after her when they asked how many - - what newspapers do you read? That`s a simple question. Suddenly she`s a victim. Go ahead, I`m sorry.
PRESS: No, no. It`s just her schtick. Her daughter is a victim. Everyone is a victim.
(CROSSTALK)
COULTER: You admit --
PRESS: They played victimhood all the time.
COULTER: We were talking in the green room about certain reporters, liberal reporters who had scandals that were completely buried and you admitted if it was an intern at Fox News, it would have made the front page in "The New York Times". So don`t come on air --
PRESS: What`s said in the green room stays in the green room. I thought that was -- wasn`t that a deal?
BEHAR: That was wrong. That was wrong of you. You can`t trust her. Look over here. Either that or -- you know, either look over here or get a room.
What about this that Rand Paul canceled his appearance on "Meet the Press"? What`s up with that? How can he consider himself a real candidate?
PRESS: He`s clearly not ready for prime time. He realized, wait a minute, Karl Rove called him and said get out of the media for God`s sake.
COULTER: He should have done that.
BEHAR: So we can train you a little bit like they tried to train Sarah.
PRESS: Like they tried to train Sarah.
COULTER: Yes. He`ll be good. He`ll be a great politician. But the other reason he had to cancel "Meet the Press" --
PRESS: No, he won`t.
COULTER: No, he`s going to be fantastic in the senate. It`s going to be so much fun.
BEHAR: Is there any Republican --
PRESS: He`s never going to get there.
(CROSSTALK)
COULTER: Oh, yes, we`ll go through a list of that. This story had come out in the Kentucky newspapers six months ago. He`s running for senate in Kentucky. He`s not running to be the most favored guest on "Meet the Press".
BEHAR: I don`t think he`s going to win now. I think that everybody knows the real truth now, he`s done.
COULTER: Well, he won`t win --
PRESS: Even in Kentucky, I don`t think they want to go back to segregated fountains.
COOPER: Neither does he.
PRESS: He does so, he said it.
BEHAR: He would if he could.
COULTER: He would not.
BEHAR: Ok guys. We`ll continue this discussion after the break.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with conservative commentator Ann Coulter and radio talk show host Bill Press.
Sarah Palin is a big proponent of "drill, baby, drill", yet she somehow manages to blame Obama for the "spill, baby, spill". Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PALIN: I don`t know why the question isn`t asked by the mainstream media and by others if there`s any connection with the contributions made to President Obama and his administration and the support by the oil companies to the administration. If there`s any connection there to President Obama taking so doggone long to get in there, to drive in there and grasp the complexity and the potential tragedy that we are seeing here in the Gulf of Mexico.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Ok. Let me just throw out one number here. In the 2008 election cycle, the oil companies gave $2.4 million to McCain and $900,000 to Barack Obama. We know she`s bad at history, but math, too, now?
COULTER: Yes. But BP gave the most, not every oil company spilled oil. BP did. BP gave absolutely the most to Obama, she is right about that.
PRESS: First of all, I have to say that I think the word complexity and Sarah Palin don`t belong in the same sentence together.
COULTER: Ok. This is not an answer.
(CROSSTALK)
COULTER: She has a point and all you can do is sneer at her.
PRESS: You have to admit. This is laugh out land funny. She`s the queen of oil. Her job as governor of Alaska was to decide who gets how much money from the oil companies. I think she puts oil in her coffee in the morning.
COULTER: You guys followed the election. You would remember that she went after the oil companies. She`s the one who shook them down in Alaska to get much higher percentage for --
PRESS: Oh, shoot.
BEHAR: You`re like the Texas board. You rewrite history.
COULTER: No, that`s a fact.
PRESS: Wait. Who said "drill, baby, drill"? It was not Barack Obama.
(CROSSTALK)
COULTER: She does want to drill, but she stuck it to the oil companies in Alaska. That is a fact and you people have (INAUDIBLE) during the last election if you don`t know that.
BEHAR: Do you know who Lawrence Wilkerson is?
COULTER: No.
BEHAR: He was the undersecretary to Colin Powell.
COULTER: Gosh, how did I miss that?
BEHAR: I don`t know. Anyway, he was there during the Bush administration.
PRESS: You guys never know your facts. That`s right.
COULTER: You don`t know that she stuck it to the oil companies in Alaska.
PRESS: I wish I didn`t.
BEHAR: Listen to this quote from Lawrence Wilkerson who was there during the Bush administration. Quote, "The whole oil spill can be put at Dick Cheney`s feet," he says. "He deregulated everything and now Obama has to live with it."
PRESS: That`s true.
BEHAR: That`s from the horse`s mouth, one of the horses anyway. We need a little more of that, people on the inside telling the truth.
COULTER: You know what we need a little more of?
Sarah Palin gave that interview. It was, like, a ten-minute interview on Fox News. The only segment you haven`t quoted is where she cites Ann Coulter`s column. That`s what we need a little more of here.
BEHAR: There`s not enough time in this show. Bill --
(CROSSTALK)
PRESS: This is the legacy of having two oil guys in the White House, George Bush and Dick Cheney.
BEHAR: Yes. That`s right.
PRESS: And they took away all the regulations and you get this spill.
COULTER: Oh God. Come on.
PRESS: And now we`re living it.
BEHAR: Cheney, it`s at his feet.
COULTER: And that`s why it`s raining outside.
BEHAR: Along with Abu Ghraib.
PRESS: Exactly. That`s Sarah Palin.
BEHAR: In general, they`ll have to say the administration should deal with people like Palin and Limbaugh and Beck and those people. Because a lot of times like Robert Gibbs said something. He said my suggestion to Sarah Palin would be to get slightly more informed as to what`s going on in and around the oil drilling in this country. Why do they even respond to her?
PRESS: You know why, because -- look, I think they`re so outrageous it`s good of them to take them on and not to ignore them and to expose their lies and tell the truth. The more I think you expose who they really are and what they say, I think the better off he is.
COULTER: But he`s not exposing, he`s sneering.
BEHAR: No, he`s not.
COULTER: That`s what he should do. Stop sneering and give us an answer.
BEHAR: Lawrence Wilkerson is exposing Cheney.
Ok. Ann, Bill. Thanks.
PRESS: All right.
BEHAR: Up next, how Fergie went from Royal to racketeer.
Oh my God.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: A British reporter posing as a businessman caught Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, accepting a deal for nearly $750,000 in exchange for a promise of access to her ex-husband Prince Andrew. Can I just say, for that amount of money, I want Queen Elizabeth herself to come to my house and do a little vacuuming. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SARAH FERGUSON: Five hundred thousand pounds when you can to me .open doors.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: To Prince Andrew?
FERGUSON: Yes.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Is that a deal?
FERGUSON: Yes.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: But I`ve got to give you $40,000. FERGUSON: Yes.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Which I`ve got now as a deposit. Which is in my safe.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: What was she thinking? Here to discuss this latest scandal are Katie Nicholl, royal correspondent, "The Mail On Sunday" and the author of the upcoming book "William And Harry." June Sarpong, Co-host of "CONSPIRACY THEORY WITH JESSE VENTURA" And Rob Shuter, AOL`s POPEATER, columnist. OK, Rob, let me start with you. You know her.
ROB SHUTER, AOL`S POPEATER COLUMNIST: Yes -
BEHAR: What is she thinking? What was the girl thinking? SHUTER: We took this money and Sarah is humiliated by this. I don`t know what she was thinking. I don`t think she knows what is she is thinking. What I do know, this didn`t just happened overnight. It wasn`t like this guy turned up in her hotel room -
BEHAR: No.
SHUTER: And offered her money. He`s been courting her for six months. They met in New York, she thought she established a friendship with this guy, they`ve met several times.
BEHAR: so she trusted him.
SHUTER: She did trust him and then she --
BEHAR: Her mistake.
SHUTER: She made a terrible mistake. But this is a woman that needs money. She`s made it very clear she needs money and suddenly someone is offering her $750,000. And in a moment of stupidity, she said yes.
BEHAR: But I mean, it says she`s drowning in debt.
SHUTER: She has enormous get.
BEHAR: And she only gets $20,000 a year to her divorce settlement. I was married to a teacher and I got more than that.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: But I wasn`t with a prince OK? I mean not really, no prince at all.
SHUTER: The royals want it both ways with Sarah. They want Sarah to make a living but they don`t really want her to work. When Sarah became a spokesperson for Weight Watchers, the palace and the press was very, very critical of a royal working. I have a lot of sympathy here. Yes, she`s my friend. Yes, I know her. I don`t want to let her off the hook and neither does Sarah. She made a terrible mistake, but this is a woman who really needs to find a job and it`s very hard to find a job when you`re a duchess.
BEHAR: Yes Katie, don`t you think the queen should have paid her off? She would have avoided this whole thing.
KATIE NICHOLL, ROYAL CORRESPONDENT, "THE MAIL ON SUNDAY": Well, I do. I think you make a very valid point. I mean 15,000 pounds as a divorce settlement. I mean when you think about what Diana took away from her marriage when it ended in divorce, that was 17 million pounds. It was enough for her to leave a very, very healthy estate to her sons, William and Harry. Sarah walked away with pretty much nothing. And actually in retrospect, the royal family will be looking at the situation and thinking, hmm, I wonder if we paid her a little bit better, perhaps this wouldn`t have happened. And, you know, it is the case that the duchess has found herself in a terrible situation-
BEHAR: Very bad.
NICHOLL: And she`s pretty much bankrupt. And I almost feel a little bit sorry for her, I have to say.
BEHAR: Yes, well, I feel sorry for her, too.
SHUTER: Well I do -
BEHAR: Well I mean I`ve met her several times, she seems very nice but she`s strapped. But, you know, June, you`re a conspiracy person. Do you think she hates the royal family really underneath it all?
(LAUGHTER)
JUNE SARPONG, CO-HOST, "CONSPIRACY TEORY WITH JESSE VENTURA": No, I don`t think that`s what it was. I think it was a moment of madness. But still, I do think, you know, Sarah Ferguson has a lot more options than a your average person. Your average person if you`re losing your home, you don`t have the kind of options Sarah Ferguson has. So I don`t think there`s any excuse for this really.
SHUTER: What Sarah would argue, you know, she`s got the golden handcuffs. She lives in the lap of luxury. But she`s almost a prisoner in here. Yes, you`d think that a duchess would have a lot of options. She can`t go and work at Bloomingdales. She can`t get a job at a supermarket.
BEHAR: Right.
SHUTER: She landed in America, and if she got into a yellow cap, what would we think of her? What would the press say?
BEHAR: Well why doesn`t the royal family give her money?
SHUTER: They don`t care.
BEHAR: She lives in the same house with Andrew, does she not?
SHUTER: Free - she lives there because she can`t afford her own place in London.
BEHAR: OK, why does he live there with her though?
SHUTER: Well I think they kind of have themselves -- this is a very interesting relationship. This is the happiest divorced couple I`ve ever met. She still -
BEHAR: Not anymore.
SHUTER: This might change everything. Sources close to Sarah tell me what is devastating to her is that the e-mails and the phone calls she is left for Andrew, he hasn`t returned.
BEHAR: Well sure.
SHUTER: Like this could be the end of that.
BEHAR: This is the end of that. Well at least he should give her the house she`s living in.
SHUTER: If we clip Sarah off and if we don`t allow her to work, what is she going to do? How is she going to make a living?
BEHAR: OK, let`s listen to her apology. Can we - or read it anyway. I`ll read it for you. She say`s "I very deeply regret the situation and the embarrassment caused." So she feels bad. "It is true that my financial situation is under stress, however, that is no excuse for a serious lapse in judgment. And I`m very, very, very sorry that this has happened. I can confirm that the Duke of York was not aware or involved in any of the discussion that occurred." Now I sound like Queen Elizabeth. "I am sincerely sorry for my actions." OK, Katie, even though she apologized. She gave the impression that Andrew and the royal family can be bought and sold. If so, shouldn`t they be in our congress?
(LAUGHTER)
NICHOLL: Listen, I think, in terms of buying the royal family, in terms of buying access to the royal family, I mean it is a big no-no. I mean you remember what happen to Katie Wessex (ph) of course. And this was why she couldn`t continue working with her PR company. You remember that episode? She was basically cashing in on her royal connections. Oh, yes, you do business with me, you come work on my PR company and I can open this door and that door. Now as you know and you just mentioned I`m writing this book about William and Harry. One of the big things I go into detail is Kate Middleton because we`re obsessed with Kate Middleton over here in the U.K. as I think guys are in America as well. And -
BEHAR: No, we are not.
NICHOLL: Kate got a lot of criticism, oh she`s had a lost of criticism for not working and having a full-time job. But you see this has come right, from the top. These are the queen`s instructions. She shouldn`t work. She shouldn`t be out there where she can be attacked. She can be exposed and Kate works for her parents. Now, that opens her up to all sorts of criticism because she`s seem to be a nonworking royal or royal in waiting. Sarah Ferguson has the opposite problem. She`s gotten into all sorts of business deals. Problem with Sarah is they`ve all ended so badly.
BEHAR: Yes, maybe she just isn`t a good business woman.
SHUTER: I don`t think she is a good business woman.
BEHAR: She`s not good.
NICHOLL: I think we can conclude that.
SHUTER: And she can`t afford to have people around her to make good decisions. She doesn`t have the money to hire the best medium.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Let`s talk about her relationship with the royal family. Queen Elizabeth doesn`t like anybody. She doesn`t like Camilla, she hated Diana. We saw the movie. Fergie was never one of her favs. Who is good enough for her precious boys?
SHUTER: I don`t think anybody.
BEHAR: Nobody.
SHUTER: That`s why she`s got to stop -
NICHOLL: Let`s hope Kate Middleton is.
SHUTER: At the moment -
BEHAR: What about Kate, tell me about her. What?
NICHOLL: Well, they -- they have met. The queen likes Kate. Kate is suitable. You have to remember that both Diana and Sarah Ferguson, they were never retiring wall flowers. They spoke out. Diana created chaos for the royal family, as did Sarah. Kate hasn`t put a foot wrong. So she`s the golden girl of the royal family at the moment. We`ll see and wait what happens.
BEHAR: You know what, she is the golden girl, de jour -
NICHOLL: She is.
BEHAR: As soon as she does something like become popular with the Brits, they`ll turn on her, too.
SHUTER: Off with their heads. Absolutely.
BEHAR: I saw that movie.
SHUTER: Absolutely.
NICHOLL: that`s very true.
BEHAR: Now she`s had a very, you know, again, the Andrew and living under the same roof and all of that, when she says access to the guy, she means access.
SHUTER: Right.
BEHAR: I mean, she`s talking, he`s in the kitchen, I`m in the living room. That`s access.
SHUTER: She can`t - I mean the question is -- it`s great access, but what really does access get you? I really don`t know what she was being set up to do here. It shows you how naive Sarah can be. Because it`s not the sort of access that`s going to change somebody`s business. Meeting prince Andrew is very nice. I`m sure it`s a lovely hour or so, but he`s not going to change your life. So a red flag should have gone off to Sarah, knowing this guy and this British reporter that nobody has ever met him. He`s like the most mysterious man in Britain. People at the news of the world where he works have never met him.
BEHAR: Uh huh.
SHUTER: He`s a very mysterious guy. I think flags should have gone off. And you know bells should have gone off to tell Sarah, this is too good to be true.
BEHAR: But she`s down and out, I mean the woman needs money.
SHUTER: She needs money.
BEHAR: She`s desperate.
SHUTER: And it`s almost like deal or no deal. He put $40,000 in front of her on the table.
BEHAR: And we`ll find out right after this commercial. You know, June, Fergie went from Naomi Campbell`s birthday party in the south of France to L.A. last night to accept an award at a black tie dinner. She faced a crowd like that.
SHUTER: She did.
BEHAR: She didn`t mention anything about it. Is this an example of her being in denial? What`s going on there? I would have stayed home.
SARPONG: No, I think actually she handled it as best as you can in a situation as bad as this. You know, she issued a statement to express her remorse and then she went back out there. If she didn`t turn up, she would be saying she`s admitting her guilt. You know she`s running away from the press. Her going out was the best thing she could have done. BEHAR: Right I got to go -
SARPONG: That was the only thing she could have done.
BEHAR: Yes, I mean you know she should have made a joke like I can buy all of you. I can make money out of all of you here. All right, up next, Bret Michaels caps off his recovery by winning "CELEBRITY APPRENTICE." I`ll have the story in just a minute, we love him.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back talking about the big royal scandal involving the Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson. And joining me now to discuss that and all things pop culture are Jim Florentine, comedian and co-host of "THAT MEDDLE SHOW" and Ali Wentworth, comedian writer and correspondent for the "OPRAH WINFREY SHOW." So guys, Ali, let me ask you, you`re married to George, has anyone offered you a bribe in return for access to George?
ALI WENTWORTH, CORRESPONDENT, "THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW: No, I`ve tried to bribe people to have access to George and give me a night off. No, no one has tried to bribe me for anything. BEHAR: Really, I`ve been offer thousands for access to Nancy Grace.
WENTWORTH: Have you?
BEHAR: Jim, was it unfair for the newspaper to set her up that way?
JIM FLORENTINE, COMEDIAN: I don`t condone what she did. But if someone offered me $750,000 to meet you, I would do it in a second. I would bring them in.
BEHAR: You would.
FLORENTINE: No, it was unfair. They set her up, it`s not right. But this could be like her sex tape. It could make her into a celebrity. I mean nobody really wants to see her naked at this point. But --
WENTWORTH: But everyone wants to watch this tape.
FLORENTINE: Watch the tape and they`re going to feel bad for her. I think everyone is going to feel bad for her. I guess.
BEHAR: You think, so that`s an interesting twist. I mean she looks like a desperate woman. So people will forgive that. You know how much she gets in alimony? She gets $21,000 a year. From the royal family.
WENTWORTH: A year?
BEHAR: Yes.
WENTWORTH: That`s like sushi in one night for us, right?
BEHAR: Where are you eating? At Nuvo every night?
FLORENTINE: You`ve got to feel bad for her. She went from royal family to a spokesperson for weight watchers.
BEHAR: Yes.
FLORENTINE: She needs the money.
BEHAR: She needs the money.
WENTWORTH: Can`t she become her own charity. Can`t she just have like - just a sad bitch face with a poster and a thing of coins by the cash register. I mean if you had loose change, wouldn`t you give it to her?
BEHAR: I would. I would, you`re right.
WENTWORTH: Look at her being bribed and talking about her fatness.
BEHAR: She`s not fat anymore cause now she lost all that weight.
WENTWORTH: But now she`s got to get fat again to go back and join another weight watcher situation.
BEHAR: What about the kids, Beatrice and Eugenia? Will they still be like --
WENTWORTH: Well Eugenia is still just trying to get over her name.
BEHAR: Eugenia, I know.
FLORENTINE: Yes.
BEHAR: I know it`s like a Macialada -
WENTWORTH: Yes.
BEHAR: Just shoot me.
WENTWORTH: Yes, conception.
BEHAR: Conception and Macialada, we`ll get letters everywhere now.
WENTWORTH: I know I think they`re great.
BEHAR: They`re all in Arizona, believe me, they`re angry. FLORENTINE: I think the kids at this point are like, damn, we were set up for a nice vacation. Now we can`t go anywhere.
WENTWORTH: Right, right.
FLORENTINE: You got busted, mom.
BEHAR: But those two girls are heir to the throne, fifth or sixth numbers.
WENTWORTH: What throne? It is like a motel six at this point. What are you really going to inherit.
BEHAR: But I mean what about some more shilling for other products. I feel like an employment counseling for the girl. You know, what else can you do? I don`t know.
WENTWORTH: She`s written books, right. She`s done the - you know -- maybe there`s a red hair rinse. You would buy it. BEHAR: I would buy that in a minute. What do you mean? This isn`t natural? You`re such a bitch, Ali.
WENTWORTH: It`s as natural as the gray roots staring me right in the face, missy. No, it`s real hair.
BEHAR: No but she did apologize.
WENTWORTH: What are you going to do? What are you going to say? You can`t go into rehab for that.
BEHAR: She should check into rehab maybe -
WENTWORTH: For what?
BEHAR: With everybody in this country goes to rehab and everything is forgiven, right?
FLORENTINE: Bribery rehab, is there such a thing?
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: OK, Bret Michaels, remember him?
WENTWORTH: Yes.
BEHAR: Fabulous guy. He recovered from both an aneurysm and a stroke to win "CELEBRITY APPRENTICE." I really feel sorry for next year`s contestants. They`re going to have to overcome pleurisy, carpal tunnel syndrome.
WENTWORTH: Yes, no limbs.
BEHAR: Gout.
WENTWORTH: Yes.
BEHAR: Let`s take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DONALD TRUMP, HOST: Holly, I have to tell you, we all love you. And Bret, I have to tell you, you`re hired.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: OK, all right, you know, I mean, he tried to make it dramatic, the Donald, but everybody knew who was going to win, right?
FLORENTINE: I really thought Donald would give it to Holly, just more publicity for the show like how could he have done that? I really thought he was going to go that way because everybody is going to be waiting, oh, he`s got to give it to Bret and give it to Holly. And people would freak out and they couldn`t wait to watch next season.
WENTWORTH: By the way, guess who`s going to be on the next "APPRENTICE?" Duchess of York, yes, and she`s going to win because she`s got no money.
BEHAR: That`s right, but, you know, that`s a very -- you know, you should have a P.R. person and you should be his agent.
WENTWORTH: And I should be his assistant.
BEHAR: Exactly -
WENTWORTH: Is that what you are saying?
BEHAR: Yes. And I could just go in and look at you both.
WENTWORTH: Here`s what I find disturbing. Bret Michaels was literally on death`s door -
FLORENTINE: Yes he was.
WENTWORTH: And his doctor told him to stay in bed and stay quiet and yet he hoped on a plane to do his reality show.
BEHAR: I know what about that? Why would he risk his life to be on a reality show?
WENTWORTH: Should I name some people? Should I throw out some names?
BEHAR: I mean this guy had an emergency appendectomy. He had a near fatal brain hemorrhage.
WENTWORTH: Yes.
BEHAR: A suffered a warning stroke and diagnosed with a hole in his heart. Was there anything Holly Robinson Peete could have done to win this thing?
FLORENTINE: This guy is like superman. I get the sniffles and I don`t want to do anything for a week. This guy, he`s doing a Lionel tomorrow night, he`s all over the place.
WENTWORTH: By the way -
BEHAR: Yes.
WENTWORTH: I don`t know what happens when he takes that bandanna off.
BEHAR: I don`t know. But he called me over the weekend. Just, you know, I know people, and my phone rang, and there it was, Bret Michaels to thank me for being so nice. Because I really like the guy, he`s a very sweet guy.
WENTWORTH: Sure. Oh is this your way of saying change of subject and we`re going to be friendly and nice?
BEHAR: No, I do like him.
WENTWORTH: He`s terrific.
FLORENTINE: No, he is a nice guy. I`ve been on the tour bus before. There were like 30 women.
BEHAR: Do you know him?
WENTWORTH: How would I know him? He never paid me for access to George.
BEHAR: But he`s a sweet guy. He told me he would come on my show and talk about the near-death experience. I`ve had one too and we can compare notes, it would be so fun.
WENTWORTH: It would be great.
FLORENTINE: What was yours?
BEHAR: All right, guys, stay right there, we`ll be back after a short break. I`ll tell you some other time.
FLORENTINE: All right.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Last week the Texas State board of education led by Christian conservatives voted to rewrite history books to reflect their personal views. For example, they`re going to delete Ralph Nader and add Stonewall Jackson, one of the heroes of the Confederacy. And they`re changing the name of slave trade to Atlantic triangular trade. Remember gone with the wind? Turns out all those black people weren`t slaves. They were triangles. Who knew? You know, I was a teacher. If I knew I could make up stuff like that I would have saved myself a lot of trouble. I could have taught my students George Washington didn`t cross the Delaware into New Jersey for freedom but because he wanted to go clubbing with Snooki. They say history is written by the winner. What they don`t tell you is it`s rewritten by the Texas board of ed. You have children.
WENTWORTH: Yes.
BEHAR: Who don`t live in Texas.
WENTWORTH: No.
BEHAR: Where? They`re going to be living in New York very soon because of George`s job.
WENTWORTH: Yes.
BEHAR: How would you like it if the New York City board of education changed history? And said that Thomas Jefferson was a communist? How would you like that?
WENTWORTH: How much is the tuition? No, I --
BEHAR: The public schools.
WENTWORTH: I like to think of this as a Texas problem but I think it is going to affect all of us. And I`m -- you know, I`m completely against it. We didn`t rewrite history.
BEHAR: Yes, they`re trying to do it. Right, Jim? You know this story.
FLORENTINE: They revise the books every ten years. I don`t know, I got my first kid on the way and hope I`m not a parent down at town hall saying you can`t change this. How much information do you retain when you`re older? I was thinking before coming here, I don`t know the three ships Columbus came over. Nina, Pinta, Royal Caribbean?
WENTWORTH: That`s right.
(LAUGHTER)
FLORENTINE: Or was it Carnival? I don`t even know, so does it really matter?
BEHAR: Well they`re trying to, for instance, they want the kids to learn less about Thomas Jefferson and more about Ronald Reagan. That`s a fact.
WENTWORTH: Well that makes sense.
(LAUGHTER)
WENTWORTH: You know, I understand having a review. Here`s the thing, no matter what textbook you have, and like to stay with the traditional ones, your teacher is going to give it a slant anyway, but I don`t think that we should have board of education in Texas rewriting what we should and shouldn`t teach our kids.
FLORENTINE: Well I went to catholic schools all the time. History was all just catholic. Just about the religion. They said, look, Jesus died for your sins, you know, he cured lepers, he walked on water. And like, be like him. I`m like, I`m 12 years old. That`s a lot to live up, that`s a lot of pressure. I don`t even swim. How am I going to walk on water?
BEHAR: Step on the rocks.
WENTWORTH: I went to fashion school so we didn`t --
BEHAR: I don`t think during Jesus` period --
WENTWORTH: Just about beauty and --
BEHAR: Do we have time to do "LAW AND ORDER?" I`d like to do the story.
WENTWORTH: Yes, let`s do "LAW AND ORDER" that`s an interesting story.
BEHAR: Now for the past 20 years the actors have been working in New York saw on "LAW AND ORDER." it`s been fabulous. I mean you were shot, stabbed, and it was great. Now you`re going to have to be groped an "SVU." Because they`re staying.
WENTWORTH: Yes.
BEHAR: What do you think about?
WENTWORTH: To get a job on "SVU?"
BEHAR: To get the job, yes.
WENTWORTH: This is what I have to say about "LAW AND ORDER." First of all, there`s so many off-chutes of it. "CRIMINAL INTENT," "SVU" and now, "LAW AND ORDER LOS ANGELES."
BEHAR: Los Angeles?
WENTWORTH: Which means young, tan, perky breasted cops. Let`s face it.
BEHAR: Right.
WENTWORTH: Anything in L.A. is that. I think they`re getting rid of "LAW AND ORDER" because they`re old and their contracts are too expensive. That`s my theory.
BEHAR: You think that`s the real reason?
WENTWORTH: Yes, I do.
BEHAR: Not that they`ve run out of story ideas?
WENTWORTH: No, one of it`s stories are going to be in L.A.? New York always - and by the way, I`m about to move to New York in a month -
BEHAR: Yes.
WENTWORTH: And I had already talked Mericha Hargate about being a crack whore and now what?
FLORENTINE: They take all the headlines from "New York Post" and "Daily News" and make news. I use to make $100 doing extra work, struggling comic on that show every week, it was great.
BEHAR: Yes, right, and you know what, Ali, to me you`ll always be a crack whore.
WENTWORTH: Thank you Joy Behar.
BEHAR: Thanks for joining me guys and thank you for watching. Good night, everybody.
END
