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Joy Behar Page
Weekend Round Up; Teaching Tony
Aired October 01, 2010 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
ANNOUNCER: Coming up on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW -- Michael Bolton wants an apology from the "Dancing" judges.
And Tea Partier Christine O`Donnell only wants God to judge her.
Joy recaps the latest pop culture craziness.
Then outspoken host of "Real Time" Bill Maher stops by with his incisive take on all things political.
Plus from "Who`s the Boss?" to high school Tony Danza tells Joy about his new gig as an English teacher.
That and more starting right now.
JOY BEHAR, HLN HOST: Delaware Senate candidate Christine O`Donnell told the Christian Broadcasting Network that God is running her campaign. I certainly hope he`s getting his 10 percent and full dental.
Here to talk about this and all the other stories from the week are Rebecca Dana, senior correspondent of "The Daily Beast"; actor and comedian John Fugelsang; and actress Linda Blair.
Ok. Before I get to that clip of her when you were on it, because I know you were on it, what do you think about her saying that God is speaking to her? Is she mentally ill?
REBECCA DANA, SENIOR CORRESPONDENT, "THE DAILY BEAST": She may well be. But the reality is -- I`m not a professional. But the reality this fall is that God is not just managing Christine O`Donnell`s campaign, he`s got really a lot on his plate with all of these Tea Party candidates.
And so I think it`s really sort of -- it`s a testing ground for God`s political abilities and you know, he hasn`t been flawless in the past. So we may just see God turning into the Republican Bob Shrum here. You never know.
JOHN FUGELSANG, ACTOR, COMEDIAN: God`s got his hands full with football and the hip-hop awards.
DANA: I don`t know how he finds the time.
BEHAR: John, your parents, your mother was a nun and your father was a priest.
FUGELSANG: My father was a Franciscan brother.
BEHAR: If anybody is going to hear from God it`s your parents. Did they ever hear from him?
FUGELSANG: No, they`re not as medicated as Christine. No, I was the child of two ex-clergy so I viewed Jesus the way any guy would view mom`s first husband. But Christine is a very special kind of case because Christine doesn`t think she`s better than you. Christine thinks God thinks she`s better than you.
BEHAR: Which is even more demented.
FUGELSANG: Exactly. But it`s very common. And she`s a one-woman atheist factory. When people say they can`t stand Christians they don`t mean the nice good people out there doing the work of Christ. They`re talking about the fundamentalist hypocrites like Christine. And her platform has nothing to do with the teachings of Jesus.
So if she`s hearing from God that means she`s not listening to Christ because really she`s pretty much against everything the guy stood for. And as a primate, I`m offended that anybody would think chimps would evolved into her.
BEHAR: You look good for a primate.
FUGELSANG: Thank you.
BEHAR: You`re not that hairy.
FUGELSANG: I`m looking.
BEHAR: Let me ask Linda. Are you religious, Linda?
LINDA BLAIR, ACTRESS: I`m very spiritual.
FUGELSANG: The power of Christ compels her.
BLAIR: See? There you go. You.
BEHAR: Because there was a study last week that said that agnostics and atheists know more about religion than religious people. That`s a very interesting study.
BLAIR: They were talking about that in the news the other day that America has become illiterate in religion. People say oh, you know, I`m this, I`m that, and I go to church or I go to temple or I do whatever. But when asked about the subject matter they don`t know, have no idea.
BEHAR: They just find an easy way out; just tell me what I`m supposed to believe.
FUGELSANG: What does my tribe do? What`s the herd doing right now, you know? I mean, Jesus was a peaceful, radical revolutionary who was anti-capitalism, anti-death penalty, anti-public prayer, never anti-gay, didn`t mention abortion, long-haired, homeless Middle Eastern brown-skinned Jew. You think the average fundamentalist knows that?
BEHAR: That pretty much sums it up.
FUGELSANG: Yes. That`s Christine O`Donnell`s base.
BEHAR: Yes. And a mama`s boy too.
FUGELSANG: Well, very -- yes. Until he was 30 he lived at home. I don`t know.
BEHAR: Now, you actually know Christine O`Donnell. I mean, you know her in the sense that you were on "Politically Incorrect" --
FUGELSANG: Yes.
BEHAR: -- with her.
FUGELSANG: I don`t know her biblically, Joy, but yes.
BEHAR: Let me show you a clip from the evolution debacle conversation. Show that.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CHRISTINE O`DONNELL (R), DELAWARE SENATORIAL CANDIDATE: You know what? Evolution -- evolution is a myth. And even Darwin himself --
(CROSSTALK)
BILL MAHER, TALK SHOW HOST: Evolution is a myth?
O`DONNELL: Yes. You know what?
MAHER: Have you ever looked at a monkey?
O`DONNELL: Well, then why aren`t they -- why aren`t monkeys still evolving into humans?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It takes a long time.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Why doesn`t she ask God why monkeys aren`t evolving? I mean - - so what were you thinking when she was saying that? And tell me something else she said that day.
FUGELSANG: Well, a couple things. I was thinking first off, this is why I think Satan -- creationism is a plot by Satan to make Christians look very silly because if you believe Jesus spoke in parable and metaphor, why is it so hard to read the Bible as parable and metaphor?
If you believe in Genesis, you believe God created heaven and earth in six days but couldn`t find two naked people hiding behind a bush. And Christine is someone who, you know, throws around creationism, creationism. It`s got nothing to do with the teachings of Jesus. It`s spiritually insignificant. And it keeps people in a little box where you`ve got to have this fundamentalist literalist belief in the Bible and it makes you a jerk.
DANA: You know, God could be talking to Christine now, but she is on record as having slept with Satan in the past. So it would make sense then.
BEHAR: Didn`t you do that, Linda, too?
BLAIR: Joy.
BEHAR: Something like that.
But John, what else did she say that day that you can tell us that we haven`t seen?
FUGELSANG: Well, backstage before the show she had told my girlfriend and me -- and again, she`s a really nice, nice lady with some very not nice, unkind opinions. I want to stress that.
BEHAR: Yes. Bill Maher says she`s very sweet.
FUGELSANG: Very sweet.
BEHAR: And she`s very cute.
FUGELSANG: And she`s very electable. Democrats underestimate her at their own peril. But she said backstage she had just broken up with her boyfriend because he was Catholic and didn`t believe he knew if he was going to heaven until he died. And she said I know I`m going to heaven, I`m saved, I`ve accepted Christ as my savior, I can do whatever I want, I`m going to heaven.
And I thought that`s your deal breaker? He was inadequately spiritually narcissistic and that`s why you break up?
BEHAR: Women are so picky.
FUGELSANG: On the air she said that only Christians go to heaven. And I said, so Gandhi`s in hell? Golda Meir and Malcolm X and all the Indians they`re all living in hell?
BEHAR: Moses is in hell according to her too.
FUGELSANG: If the Jews are in hell, sorry, Jesus. He never quit the tribe.
BEHAR: That`s true.
Ok. Let`s move on to another subject. Carl Paladino who`s running for governor in New York had a heated exchange with a reporter earlier this week. Let`s watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CARL PALADINO (R), NEW YORK GUBERNATORIAL CANDIDATE: You`re his stalking horse. You`re his bird dog.
FRED DICKER, "NEW YORK POST": He made the charge.
PALADINO: You send another goon to my daughter`s house and I`ll take you out, buddy.
DICKER: You`ll take me out?
PALADINO: Yes.
DICKER: How are you going to do that?
PALADINO: Watch.
DICKER: What, are you threatening me?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Now, you know, this guy, do you feel threatened by that at all, that conversation? Do you find it scary?
FUGELSANG: Carl Paladino saying I`m going to take you out? Yes, a little bit.
BEHAR: Linda, do you find it a little scary to hear that?
BLAIR: My response to the whole thing was by law, and the states are all different, but the situations that I`ve had, if somebody says to you, you know, I`m -- they threaten you, if they mean it, by law if they mean it then they can be, let`s say, arrested for something but if they meant it in the heat of the moment, no, I didn`t really mean it, that`s how they get off. That`s California law.
BEHAR: So you don`t see it as a real threat?
BLAIR: It`s hard to say.
BEHAR: You don`t think so? I mean, he is running for governor.
(CROSSTALK)
BLAIR: These guys that are just -- they`re angry. I think it`s the heat of the moment.
FUGELSANG: I think he`s off the racist e-mail Christmas list.
BEHAR: That`s another thing. But go ahead. You`ve been following the story. Tell us.
DANA: This man is richer than God. If he wants to take somebody out, he can certainly afford to.
BEHAR: Maybe that`s why Christine is in love with God. It`s for his money. Go ahead.
DANA: Typical.
BEHAR: Yes.
DANA: This -- every new revelation, every new action by Carl Paladino just like sinks my jaw further to the floor. It begins last spring with these e-mails that you just mentioned with racist content, bestiality, comparing Jews to Hitler, which is a favorite trope of these Tea Party candidates. And now he --
BEHAR: Is that so?
DANA: Yes. Jews to Hitler.
FUGELSANG: Did you see the e-mails?
BEHAR: I saw a couple. They were quite disgusting.
FUGELSANG: They`re precious.
BEHAR: And he says it was bad judgment. Who wants somebody with that kind of bad judgment running the state, for one thing?
FUGELSANG: He said I`m sorry if you were offended by it is how he apologized for it.
BEHAR: The only thing I will say in his defense is that the reporter was taking a picture of his daughter, the child that he had out of wedlock with his mistress. And he felt protective toward the child. I can see that.
FUGELSANG: Absolutely.
BEHAR: So we`ll give him that much.
FUGELSANG: He makes me ashamed to be an adulterous, racist guy who sends bestiality e-mails. He really does.
DANA: My favorite part of the story is the statement "The Post" released today saying that Mr. Paladino exposed his families to scrutiny when he decided to run for public office. And the reality is Carl Paladino has two families and that`s what the "New York Post" was trying to document and trying very legitimately to report on. This is hardly a liberal rag that we`re talking about.
BEHAR: Exactly. "The New York Post" is going after him.
FUGELSANG: Left-wing rag.
BEHAR: I don`t think he`s going to win. I really don`t.
DANA: We can pray.
BEHAR: This is really too much.
Ok. Let`s switch gears to something completely fluffy. After getting voted off "Dancing with the Stars", Michael Bolton is demanding an apology from Judge Bruno Tonioli, who apparently hurt Bolton`s feelings. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(CLIP FROM "DANCING WITH THE STARS")
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You did it all very, very, very badly. I think this is probably the worst jive in 11 seasons.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: I love when he said the worst jive. Is that an Italian word, the worst jive? Did you see the way he danced? It looks like he needs a restraining order. He`s after her in the dancing. Fred Astaire called, he wants his shoes back. Go ahead.
FUGELSANG: I think American music fans deserve an apology from Michael Bolton. Ok. For those Kenny G duets alone we need reparations.
BEHAR: Well, there`s that.
But you know what he said, Linda? This is sad. He said his 90-year- old mother flew to watch him dance. She flies? Should this matter really? Do we really care? If Tonioli says you can`t dance and his poor mother is sitting there. I mean, come on.
BLAIR: But it`s such a fluffy show and everybody wants to get on it. They either do it for charity reasons or whatever and they do it for their mother or their family --
BEHAR: They do it for their careers. Get real.
(CROSSTALK)
REBECCA DANA: Yes but reality television does not exist to boost Michael Bolton`s self-esteem.
BEHAR: And you know it.
BLAIR: Yes ok. But I think in his case it was a bit much. I mean, I don`t think they need to be that mean-spirited.
DANA: No, they don`t.
BLAIR: It is --
DANA: But of course they don`t mean to.
BLAIR: I don`t think Bruno --
(CROSSTALK)
BLAIR: I think he was so stunned by the performance that that is just what came out of his mouth.
BEHAR: He was -- because the jive stunned him.
BLAIR: But I really think that Bruno -- and I don`t think he means to be that mean.
BEHAR: Not.
DANA: No.
BLAIR: Not to Michael Bolton. And Michael didn`t mean to dance that way. But --
BEHAR: Michael will get over it, ok.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: He`ll be fine.
JOHN FUGELSANG: He`ll butcher some Motown classics and feel better.
BEHAR: Ok, thank you, everybody.
Ok thank -- why is Tony Danza headed back to school? He`ll tell me next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: We know him from "Taxi" and "Who`s the Boss" but now Tony Danza has taken on his most challenging role ever, a high school English teacher. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Are you nervous?
TONY DANZA, STAR, "TEACH: TONY DANZA": I`m terrified.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Maybe you should like wear more undershirts.
DANZA: Yes. Yes. I know.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I`m actually like very concerned he is not qualified to be an English teacher.
DANZA: You`re right. How about that, Monty? You`re 100 percent right.
You know, I think you know so much, and then you find out you don`t know nothing.
The end of the semester there has to have been some learning.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: If this doesn`t work, you`re out of here.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Ok. Here now to talk about his year as a teacher, which is documented in the new series "Teach: Tony Danza" is Tony Danza himself.
DANZA: Hi Joy.
BEHAR: Hey, Tony. Why did you do this?
DANZA: Yes, I think -- it`s been something -- well, first of all, I - - I don`t know about you, but they`re talking about a kid dropping out of high school every 11 seconds.
BEHAR: It`s terrible.
DANZA: I mean it`s crazy. And it`s seems unsustainable. And you know, I just think about it a lot. It`s something I went to school for. I had a good teacher. I think also there`s a -- there`s a bit of regret in that I didn`t take it as seriously as I should have.
BEHAR: What, school or teaching?
DANZA: School.
BEHAR: School.
DANZA: And I -- and I -- and you know my own high school and college career.
BEHAR: But you got a degree.
DANZA: I got through. But that -- I did what I had to do. I charmed the teacher and I did as much as I -- and I was trying to explain to these kids that don`t -- don`t do it that way. Get smart early and make the most of this and -- and understand that, you know, you come from a neighborhood where if you get grades most of the colleges will be after you because you -- they need that.
BEHAR: That`s true.
DANZA: They`ve got enough of the private school kids. They need a little flavor.
BEHAR: Yes.
DANZA: And so --
BEHAR: Well, they have to work harder now because the system is worse.
DANZA: Well, they -- you know, the problem is too, Joy, is that we`ve got a culture that`s pushing down on them. You know, remember, when we were kids, the cartoons used to teach us stuff. The cartoons. Now the cartoons sell these -- sell the kids stuff.
BEHAR: Yes.
DANZA: So they`re -- they are the target for marketing. You have that. Then you have -- there`s no doubt about it -- there`s bad teachers. But I think there`s more discouraged teachers. I think that --
BEHAR: It`s a very hard job. I did it too.
DANZA: It`s a hard job. I know you did it.
BEHAR: It`s a real -- it`s almost an impossible job. My theory is you have two teachers in each classroom. That way you don`t have any discipline problems that way, so you can actually teach.
DANZA: Well, you know, I had a teacher with me. And as -- at least the first-year teacher should have somebody watching them all the time.
BEHAR: Exactly.
DANZA: Because at first my ego was like I don`t want this guy in the room. Then one day -- by the third -- by the third week I was struggling and I looked over and I said what do you think, Mr. Cohen? You know, I mean, I just used him as a resource or something.
BEHAR: Well, they have student teachers sometimes, and that helps a little bit. But a real teacher --
DANZA: No but I`m talking about a teacher who can mentor you, who can say to you wait a minute -- this guy told me one day, he says you know, you`ve got to do more with less. And it`s a play on that less is more stuff.
But it made a lot of sense. Because I was jamming up my lesson plans with all this stuff --
BEHAR: Yes.
DANZA: -- and trying to be everything and they weren`t learning anything.
BEHAR: Well, experience --
DANZA: Because you have to -- you have to find a way to -- to get them to -- to do -- the kids are so conditioned that the teacher`s going to do everything for them.
BEHAR: Exactly.
DANZA: They don`t do anything. I had a big sign in the front, "Take part in your own education." You know, and I really tried to send that message.
BEHAR: But there were cameras following you around. Didn`t that upset the cart by having, you know, like cameras?
DANZA: Interesting. First of all, the crew is unbelievable. And I haven`t mentioned the crew. Somebody had to shoot this thing, and they did a job -- they did a great job and the company and everything else.
But -- but they were instructed not to interact with the kids. And they stayed back. And I never played to the cameras. You know, in fact -- and I know that they got mad at me a little bit.
BEHAR: Yes.
DANZA: The show was second -- I really wasn`t that interested in the show. I know I wanted the show to be good, and I wanted -- but I had to be the -- you know, I had to be a good teacher.
BEHAR: Yes.
DANZA: That`s all I had to do. I didn`t want to let the kids down. And let me tell you, Joy. I thought for sure I had made a big mistake.
BEHAR: Really? Why?
DANZA: Because then I thought I bit off more than I could chew. And that I was going to let these kids down. My intellect was going to be on display, which might not be too pretty. And I was going to make a fool of myself. And disappoint -- and you know, somebody said it`s the same thing as performing in front of an audience. Yes, but you have the audience`s future in your hands in this case.
BEHAR: That`s true.
DANZA: Yes, so it`s really different.
BEHAR: But -- but I`m -- I`m curious about the fact that you`re an actor on television, and here you are teaching these kids. First of all, did they ask for autographs?
DANZA: I -- Joy, they`re born -- they are born three years after my show of note.
BEHAR: So what -- they -- they have computers.
DANZA: No, I`ll be honest with you. I`ve been -- I`ve been actually enjoying a level of anonymity.
BEHAR: You like it?
DANZA: I love it. I love it, I mean, it`s -- don`t get me wrong. It`s -- it helps sometimes. But for these kids, for the young kids, the level of anonymity that you can`t believe. I mean, it`s incredible.
BEHAR: They questioned you`re -- you know, ability to do it.
DANZA: Oh yes I know. They -- I think I heard one of the kids by the way, one of the kids in the proof of concept, say I think my mother was a fan. You know that was --
BEHAR: Yes.
DANZA: -- that was the kind of and they sort of knew who I was but --
BEHAR: Did you mark papers?
DANZA: Yes.
BEHAR: So what about what -- they might sell them on eBay, these kids. Did you ever think of that?
DANZA: No. I don`t think, I think the class was really about trying to get through tenth grade curriculum. And the -- the way I tried to do it was try to relate to this great literature, you know, "Of Mice and Men" and "Julius Caesar" and "Mockingbirds."
BEHAR: It`s hard to teach those subjects. It`s very hard.
DANZA: But you -- but you know what if you can tie it to some kind of relatable experience that they can -- that they get, that`s part of their lives all of a sudden it becomes real them.
BEHAR: Yes.
The real tragedy I found when I was -- I taught English for a few years and I taught reading. The tragedy is when they cannot read.
DANZA: Yes.
BEHAR: If the child can read, they will like school.
DANZA: Yes.
BEHAR: If they have trouble reading or if they have real trouble doing math, they can`t -- then they -- then they turn on the whole thing.
DANZA: Yes well, you know, in school we have illiterate, right? There`s plenty of people who can`t read.
BEHAR: Yes.
DANZA: But then you have alliterate, which is you can but you don`t want to. And so you have to, you know, I would tell them and I would say, you know, how much did you practice football or soccer or basketball? It`s the same thing with reading. You have to practice a little bit and once you get it, it`ll get easier.
And one of my greatest things is I had a kid. What`s my greatest -- what`s your greatest, I give an 11-page final. But they don`t even give finals. I gave an 11 page final. The last question was, what was the most important lesson? And then I say three paragraphs.
And a kid wrote, I learned that books were more than books that they were stories too and they were beautiful.
BEHAR: That`s nice.
DANZA: Amazing.
BEHAR: That`s great.
OK, stay right there.
DANZA: Sure.
BEHAR: Well have more with Tony Danza, the teacher, when we come back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Mr. Danza.
DANZA: Yes. I really -- I was here.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Your day begins at 7:30.
DANZA: Right.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And you have to sign in. Do you notice that there are no other registers, that they`ve all been picked up?
DANZA: -- that I had to sign in, 7:38
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Why don`t you? You went to orientation. We had new teachers come in. We explained everything.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That was a clip from the new show "Teach: with Tony Danza" and I`m back with Tony.
DANZA: I forgot to sign in. I forgot - Ms. Spinaples (ph) --
BEHAR: What did you feel was your weakness as a teacher?
DANZA: Well at first you are performing. You got to understand that -- and you come from a place where the teacher used to stand at the board and took notes.
BEHAR: Right.
DANZA: It`s not like that anymore.
BEHAR: Thank God it`s not like that.
DANZA: But you need a little bit of that. You need a little bit of the kids` understanding that that`s part of the deal; that there are times when they just have to listen and take notes and learn. So much of collaborative learning and graphic organizers and all these things we use now and we should use them because they show student achievement percentagewise. They show it. But it goes back to motivating students.
BEHAR: There is something wrong with the fact that I learned more about John Adams from a miniseries on HBO than I ever learned in school.
DANZA: But you were in a different place though. You were in a different place.
BEHAR: No, no. The teachers never taught it. I remember them.
DANZA: Well, I still think it has to do with youth and how you are taking it and your consciousness now as opposed to what it was then. You were 15 years old. You watch John Adams you wouldn`t get that much out of it. I promise.
The problem is, I was saying, I think you`re on to something in a crazy way. You know? I think, you know, I was listening to an interview Letter, Ken Letter and he was talking about Zuckerberg, you know, the guy who just gave a hundred million and I`m glad he did, whatever the reason. But Zuckerberg says, supposedly Zuckerberg is not in it just to make a buck. He wants to change the world.
BEHAR: Yes.
DANZA: He said that the only way to social revolution is through software now. Software. Some kind of connectedness. Well where`s that software for education? Where is it? I don`t care if the kids think it`s noble or not. I just want them to go, wow. That`s fun. Let me study. Let me try that again. Why aren`t we finding a way to do that?
BEHAR: Some schools are doing a very good job. That school up in Harlem, that charter school up in Harlem, is really doing great.
DANZA: Why though, Joy.
BEHAR: Well they have smaller classes, they pay attention. They go from when they are very, very young, take them all the way through.
DANZA: Yes, that`s right, you get them early.
BEHAR: Teach them to read.
DANZA: And then, what else do they have? What else do they have? What`s the difference between a private school and a public school?
BEHAR: You tell me. You`re the teacher.
DANZA: Ok so private school, I asked somebody this the other day. They said, well, you`ve got smaller classes, you got better teachers.
BEHAR: Not better teachers. Just smaller classes.
DANZA: Wait a minute, this is what she said. This is what she said.
BEHAR: Yes.
DANZA: Better teachers, better facility.
BEHAR: Right.
DANZA: I said that`s not what you pay for. You get all that stuff but that`s not what you pay for. You pay for the like-minded parents.
BEHAR: That`s true. DANZA: You pay for the parents that all have skin in the game and all have motivated kids because of that. I`m telling you, that`s -- we need the kids, the families, and everybody that -- to get involved in this. You know we got to look at ourselves a little. We can`t just keep blaming everybody else all the time.
BEHAR: When I was teaching the kids who were doing badly in school, those are the kids whose parents did not show up on open school night. The kids who were kicking butt, all their parents were there to get all of the flowers grown.
DANZA: That`s the bottom line.
BEHAR: I know.
DANZA: This "Waiting for Superman" everybody is talking about, it`s a great movie and it breaks your heart.
BEHAR: Yes.
DANZA: Breaks your heart and the statistics are there but with all the parents in the country, if they did what those parents are doing, I`m not sure.
BEHAR: Well maybe there`s --
DANZA: And not to say all of them aren`t. There are a lot of great parents.
BEHAR: Yes, I`m thrilled you did this. It is a terrific idea and I see that you fulfilled a lifelong dream. So thank you, Tony for coming on.
DANZA: Thanks for having me Joy. Appreciate it.
BEHAR: "Teach: Tony Danza" premieres Friday at 10:00 p.m. on A&E. Stay in school.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: He hates hypocrisy, he hates religion but most importantly he hates stupidity. And we love to listen to him. He`s Bill Maher and he`s got something to say about everything. Good thing because there`s a lot of news today I want to ask him about. So welcome to the show Bill Maher, host of HBO`s "REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER." Hey, Bill, how are you?
BILL MAHER, HOST "REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER": Joy, how are you?
BEHAR: I`m good. You know, let me start with a little politics. Vice president Biden said yesterday that Democrats need to stop whining. And he`s not the only one who said that. Obama said that Democrats should stop seeing the glass half empty. President Clinton said the Dems need to stop their whimpering. Is this a way to fire up the base or is it going to drive the base away?
MAHER: Well, if it drives the base away, then who`s going to suffer? You know, if they don`t go to the polls. Oh, they`ll show that Obama.
BEHAR: Right.
MAHER: But who suffers? They do. I think they`re all right. I mean, there is a place for criticizing the president. I do it all the time. It is our job as journalists, quasi-journalists as we are, comedians --
BEHAR: Pundits.
MAHER: But we have a microphone. And we like the president, but we want more. It`s our job to hold his feet to the fire. But when it comes time to vote, OK? That`s the time when you say, look, the talk is over, talk is cheap, now we have to make a choice. We only have two parties in this country. So we have to grow up and realize there is a difference between a disappointing friend and a deadly enemy.
BEHAR: Right.
MAHER: And when you look at the accomplishments, you know, of the administration, they`re actually pretty impressive. It`s really been a better year or two for liberals since the `60s. I mean, they did get health care through. It`s not the perfect bill. But it is a start. It`s about as much as I guess we could do in this climate. I mean, they`ve got banks from -- to stop being the middlemen in student loans. They got a credit card bill of rights. They pulled out of Iraq. They had a flat- lining economy that they at least have up and running again. There`s a lot of stuff to be happy about. And the Democrats are just awful at bragging about their own accomplishments. the Republicans run on their screw-ups, and the Democrats stay quiet about their accomplishments.
BEHAR: That`s true. that`s true. Now, what do you make of Rahm Emanuel stepping down? You often talk about the wussy behavior in the Democratic party. But Rahm was hardly wussy. Are we losing one of the tougher guys in the administration here?
MAHER: I guess so. But our loss is Chicago`s gain.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: Right. All right. Well, who`s going to be the tough guy in the White House now? Hillary? I mean, who have they got?
MAHER: Well, I don`t know if -- I don`t know if you need a tough guy. I think you need a guy like Bill Clinton, who can make the argument. That is what they`re so bad about doing, is making the counterargument. Jimmy Carter, you know, who was always portrayed as this weak, ineffectual present. You know, he`s out plugging that book, so I see him all around. You know, he was a better proponent of what Democrats actually believed in. He was saying the other day, I heard him on "60 MINUTES," say that during his administration they never fired a shot. Not a bullet, not a missile. He said you know what? I thought as the world`s superpower we had the obligation to be the peacemaker. I think that`s fantastic. what a choice that would be for a voter. Because we don`t have that kind of choice. People say there`s not enough bipartisanship. there`s too much bipartisanship. If both parties are for using the army in Afghanistan to fight terrorism, that`s not too much bipartisanship. That`s not enough.
BEHAR: Well, the tragedy is that Jimmy Carter has been vilified as the worst president in the United States history practically besides George W. Bush, of course, and it`s really not very nice for people to say that. But you know, let`s talk about Christine O`Donnell for a second. First of all, there`s something new apparently that I just learned besides the fact that she just believed in evolution and she did some witchcraft, which I think she was kidding about that. Do you? The witchcraft on "POLITICALLY INCORRECT"?
MAHER: No, she wasn`t -- no, no. She wasn`t kidding. But she was young. And it should not be held against her. I think she said she was in high school. I think what`s indicative about her is that she`s always dabbling in something, and to my view when someone is very devout it means in some sense they`re lost, they`re looking for something. I mean, she dabbled in witchcraft and then by her own admission she became kind of wanton and she dabbled in sex and booze and then she became a Catholic and then she went to the Evangelicals and then she went back to the Catholics. You get the feeling if the Mormons knocked on the door, you know, in two minutes she`d be out there wearing the magic underwear.
BEHAR: She`s there. She`s there. You know, today we just found out that on her Linkedin page, is that it, she says she went to Oxford. Now, this is new. We found out that she actually was taking a course at Oxford from another school, so she was actually in the building. So she says I went to oxford.
MAHER: Yes, that`s the -- yes. That`s the Oxford tailoring school. It`s right next to Yale, the Yale Locksmith Company. Well, she`s played a little fast and loose with the facts about her education before. So you know, for someone who`s so adamant that lying is never OK, he had has a little problem with mendacity.
BEHAR: Yes. Now, I`ve been very interested in the fact that you`ve been releasing these clips like a contact time release capsule. I love it. Tell me what`s coming up. Do you have more?
MAHER: I mean, I definitely have more. She was on "POLITICALLY INCORRECT" 22 times. And I`m apparently the only one who has every episode of "POLITICALLY INCORRECT." it`s good to be a hoarder. You know, we released the witch one the first week, and last week the one where she says that, you know, come on, why don`t monkeys evolve right before our eyes? Like you can sit at the zoo and watch the chimp become a human. You know, whether -- I have more. You know, we could put together a montage. It`s funny stuff. But I don`t want to make my show the Christine O`Donnell show. So I don`t know what we`re going to do this week. We might show one. We might not. I just think it`s important for people to assess that this person could be in the senate. You know, there`s only 100 senators. Those votes count.
BEHAR: Right.
MAHER: And I need someone in the senate who believes that global warming is real and the earth is not 6,000 years old.
BEHAR: I know. It`s true. I mean, maybe they should be given an IQ test before they can even run. Now, this other guy, Carl Paladino, what do you know about him in he`s sent some really racist e-mails. He forwarded these hideous -- I read Bob Herbert today. Unbelievable stuff. What do you think -- I mean, where do they come up with these people? Go ahead.
MAHER: Joy, he was -- he was in the construction business. That`s his excuse. "I was in the construction business." of course we`re going to send racist e-mail. As a woman have you ever walked by a construction site? Of course you`re going to be accosted with all sorts of horrible things coming out of the mouths of construction people. And his other thing is "Yeah, I admit it, bad judgment." So here you have a guy running in New York State, which is supposed to be one of the most sophisticated states in the nation, saying "I`m in the construction business and I use bad judgment. Vote for me. These are my qualifications to be the governor of the second largest, most populous state in the country." It`s just insane.
BEHAR: And you know, I got into a big tiff with him the other day because I said he could win if all his illegitimate children voted for him. And I got this really nasty response. He got from his people. "That`s catty, it`s pissy, and strikes of something that someone would say when suffering from a sudden hot flash. Joy is off Carl Paladino`s Christmas card list." Can you believe that these idiots are actually turning on me, a comedian, for a comment like that?
MAHER: And to play the hot flash card, Joy.
BEHAR: It`s so wrong.
MAHER: Really low.
BEHAR: It`s so wrong.
MAHER: It is so wrong. But also, you know, it`s fair game for one reason. He`s running for office. This guy isn`t in a beauty contest. This is serious stuff. And this is fair play. And also, he`s one of those politicians who says things like, "yes, I support judges who, you know, back my idea of what are traditional values." I guess it depends on what your meaning of tradition is.
BEHAR: Uh-huh. Well, now you have him, he`s opposing abortion, even in the cases of incest and rape. You have this other one who doesn`t believe in evolution. This guy`s sending racist e-mails, has an illegitimate kid, the whole thing, and yet they could win. They could actually win.
MAHER: He also said something about how we can`t build a mosque in New York anywhere within the radius of where the dust cloud of human remains went. Which is -- that`s what I call owning it as far as an issue goes.
BEHAR: Thank you, Bill. Always a pleasure to hear from you. Keep up the good work.
MAHER: OK, Joy.
BEHAR: All right. His HBO comedy special "Bill Maher: But I`m Not Wrong" is out now on DVD. And be sure to catch "REAL TIME" Fridays at 10:00 p.m. on HBO. We`ll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We are never coming here again! Come on, Roger.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh!
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And that goes for us, too.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That`s fine with us. We wouldn`t let Susie go out with Jerry again if he were the last man on earth.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hi, everybody.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Guess what?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We`re engaged.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That was a scene from the class IX `60s sitcom "THE MOTHERS- IN-LAW," starring Kaye Ballard and Eve Arden, which is finally, finally available on DVD in its entirety. And can I just say it`s about time. With me now is one of the stars of that show, my good pal Kaye Ballard.
KAYE BALLARD, ACTRESS: Thank you.
BEHAR: How many years?
BALLARD: Oh, don`t ask. Don`t ask.
BEHAR: I mean --
BALLARD: It`s over 30 years. Almost 40. Why am I lying? Who`s counting? Forty-one.
BEHAR: Forty one. Before I talk about this, though, I just found out that you had sex with Marlon Brando?
BALLARD: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. First of all, I`m alive. I`m alive. I`m on television. You know, when you`re not on television, they think you`re dead. I told you that.
BEHAR: I know. I always quote you. What is this about Marlon Brando?
BALLARD: Why are you so interested about what Marlon Brando was like?
BEHAR: Because you and I have been friends for a long time and I never heard this.
BALLARD: I didn`t tell you?
BEHAR: No. How was he?
BALLARD: What can I say? It was bad, it was terrible. It was awful. Great! Of course. But I adored Marlon, and I knew Marlon from the very beginning. Even before he did "Street Car." As a matter of fact, he told me to come to Boston to see "Street Car" and I did. And even on that opening night, and very few people know, he`s so terrified of the stage that Elia Kazan had to push him on.
BEHAR: Really?
BALLARD: That`s true.
BEHAR: But was he a method shtupper? That`s what I want to know.
BALLARD: You want to know something? I don`t think he was a method actor. He wasn`t a method -- that`s something else.
BEHAR: Let`s talk about --
BALLARD: Don`t make me go to confession. Please.
BEHAR: I`m sorry. Desi Arnaz, who was married to Lucille Ball.
BALLARD: Yes.
BEHAR: Was the executive producer of "THE MOTHERS-IN-LAW."
BALLARD: And a brilliant man.
BEHAR: And now you live in his house.
BALLARD: What do you mean?
BEHAR: You live in his old house.
BALLARD: That`s -- well, I didn`t make much money then, you see. And he said, well, I tell you what, I`m going to give you nothing for Christmas, you can use my house in Palm Springs. And I fell in love with it. And instead he let me buy that house with no down payment.
BEHAR: Oh.
BALLARD: And it`s adorable. You`ve been there.
BEHAR: Yes. It`s adorable, that house. What do you think of the marriage that he had with Lucy?
BALLARD: I think he loved Lucille Ball until the day he died, and I think she loved him till the die -- you know, she died.
BEHAR: Yes.
BALLARD: I mean, they really were -- but they couldn`t live together because he had to service every woman in the world. For five years after he -- after he died I`d get knocks at the door, "Is Desi home?" I said Desi doesn`t live here. Desi is not here. It`s true.
BEHAR: I know. He was -- she couldn`t take it anymore.
BEHAR: No.
BEHAR: But I wonder if this kind of a show could even make it these days. Who do you like now?
BALLARD: Who do I like now?
BEHAR: Yes.
BALLARD: Well, I like anything that Christopher Guest does.
BEHAR: Hilarious.
BALLARD: And the day that I met you I met two of my favorite people on that show, the Steve Allen show. My favorite actress, comedienne is Catherine O`Hara.
BEHAR: Wonderful.
BALLARD: And my favorite stand-up comedian is Joy Behar.
BEHAR: OK.
BALLARD: No, that`s the truth. You won me over when you said "I`m on a diet," and the Madonna comes to me on the refrigerator every night. Well, then you won me over. And when you said, "My family`s taking me out to the country," and it was a cemetery.
BEHAR: They used -- that`s a true story. They used to take us to the cemetery and say it was a trip the country. They say, let`s go visit grandma and grandpa. I said they`re dead, what are you talking about? Don`t bring us down, get in the car. Off we go, off to St. John Cemetery. It`s a fact.
BALLARD: I know, but see, that to me is real humor. I think the comics today are great, but some of them just don`t draw the line where I`d like them to draw the line. I know you very well.
BEHAR: Now, you have a great sense of humor.
BALLARD: I`m sick of the f word and the mf word. I`m sick of it. Go ahead.
BEHAR: But your sense of humor is also risky. You`re not exactly safe. I want to show a picture that I took of you when we were --
BALLARD: You`re cruel.
BEHAR: -- when I was visiting you in Palm Springs, where you live. Where you live -- sort of live.
BALLARD: I love.
BEHAR: Somewhere near Palm Springs. Look at this picture. This is a picture of Kaye Ballard acting like she`s drunk in front of the Betty Ford Center.
BALLARD: Was I wearing the same outfit?
BEHAR: But I mean that shows you how whack job -- what a whack job you are.
BALLARD: That`s true. And that was mean humor. I didn`t mean to do mean humor.
BEHAR: Oh, it`s not mean. It`s hilarious. It`s ironic. It`s funny.
BALLARD: All right. That`s ironic. But I don`t like some of the humor. Like when they make fun of Kirstie Alley and even Lindsay Lohan. I don`t like that. Hilton, yes.
BEHAR: Paris Hilton. Oh, she`s OK but not Lindsay. Why not Lindsay?
BALLARD: I feel sorry for her.
BEHAR: Yes.
BALLARD: Because I think she`s really talented.
BEHAR: I know. And you love talent.
BALLARD: I do.
BEHAR: But you know, I found out --
BALLARD: Wait a minute, we didn`t talk about the rest of the comedians I like.
BEHAR: Go ahead.
BALLARD: All right. I love Jane Lynch, who should be on this show because she`s very --
BEHAR: She will be someday.
BALLARD: -- honest and very open. And I love -- get a load of this. What`s her name? Parker Posey. She was wonderful. I saw her in a film called "Broken English" that nobody saw. She was so brilliant she took my breath away. and I love Eugene Levy and Fred Willard OK. You love all the people in Christopher Guest`s movies.
BEHAR: Every one of them.
BALLARD: OK. And the negatives, nothing?
BEHAR: No.
BALLARD: OK. Great.
BEHAR: Sorry.
BALLARD: I wish I could talk to you for another hour.
BEHAR: Oh, really? But it`s television.
BALLARD: We went through already? I`d like to do a medley of every song that was ever written. Are you stopping right now?
BEHAR: I have to stop. But people can get -- you can get this on Amazon, right?
BALLARD: I came all the way here for two minutes on JOY BEHAR`S SHOW.
BEHAR: I know.
BALLARD: We`d better talk about the --
BEHAR: I hope the sex was Marlon Brando was longer than this.
BALLARD: Well, just about that time. Listen, first of all, I must mention the animals.
BEHAR: OK. Mention the animals. And then we have to go.
BALLARD: I was in retirement and they called me and said would you do a show about animals and I said yes. Abused animals, absolutely. So now I`m doing a show in Santa Fe, New Mexico. December fourth. And with Lilia Montevecci and Donna Mckechne and it`s going to be a thrilling show, but it`s professional people that don`t use one f or mf and do a great show.
BEHAR: All right, Kaye. Darling, I love seeing you.
BALLARD: Do you know how thrilled I am for your success?
BEHAR: Maybe we can get a couple drinks --
BALLARD: Too bad you drink.
BEHAR: OK. We`ll be back in a minute.
BALLARD: This is it?
BEHAR: That`s it.
BALLARD: Oh, my god. I`m off television already.
BEHAR: That was it.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: When "The Exorcist" first hit theaters almost four decades ago, some moviegoers were so frightened they got up out of their seats and ran. The head-turning star of that film Linda Blair was only 13 years old when she scared the wits out of us. And she is here with me now. Welcome to the show, Linda.
LINDA BLAIR, ACTRESS: Joy, my pleasure. Thank you so much.
BEHAR: OK. You know, this movie, "The Exorcist," has been called the scariest movie of all time. Obviously, they never saw my honeymoon footage. But if that is not the scariest movie, what is? I mean, it really is scary. Did you realize it at the time?
BLAIR: I think one of the things, the misconceptions over the years, is that many people see it as like a horror film when we look at it as a theological thriller. I had the great pleasure the other night of seeing the movie in the blu-ray version at the museum of modern with Billy Friedkin, with Bill Blat.
BEHAR: That`s nice. The director.
BLAIR: Billy Friedkin, who directed the film and Bill Blaty when he wrote it when you hear their side of it it`s completely different than how the public thinks of it.
BEHAR: They see it as a religious experience.
BLAIR: They intended -- Billy`s Jewish and they approached it in a whole different way. Bill Blaty, he knew about this story. He was a comedy writer, and that`s what a lot of people don`t realize. Like if you write way back when, I remember way back when. If you did comedy you couldn`t do drama and if you did drama you couldn`t do comedy. So Bill was a great about comedy writer and he said I`m going to write something dramatic and they said you can`t, Bill. And he goes, oh, really?
BEHAR: But did you know at 13 that this was a theological thriller?
BLAIR: Nope.
BEHAR: You didn`t know anything about it, right?
BLAIR: Here I am reading this book, la, la, la, la, la, and I said oh, how does she spin her head around? How does the bed move all around? The same questions everyone has. And they said oh, those are called special effects. "OK, fine, whatever." Kids don`t care. And what the Blu-Ray does finally is allows the people to see there`s a dummy whose head spins around, not mine.
BEHAR: Oh.
BLAIR: There`s a bed. There`s a whole thing.
BEHAR: Of course.
BLAIR: Pea soup.
BEHAR: Now they would computerize it and it wouldn`t be as interesting --
BLAIR: You couldn`t make that film today. And with that you think it`s freedom but it`s so incredible. It`s very intellectual what they`re showing people. And yet they would still enjoy the film forever. I`m just looking forward to people seeing this. It`s really good.
BEHAR: -- was saying here was saying it`s one of the best movies they`ve ever seen.
BLAIR: No, but the Blu-Ray, the behind the scenes, where we all sit and talk about it but we show the audience.
BEHAR: Yes.
BLAIR: The dummy. There`s a dummy right next to me with the eyes going back and forth. It`s not me.
BEHAR: So fans are still coming up to congratulate you on this, huh?
BLAIR: Well, they -- the fans like it. They do like it.
BEHAR: OK. So before we go, because we don`t have a lot of time, I want you to tell me about the world heart foundation that you`re fronting right now.
BLAIR: Thank you. I got involved with animal welfare maybe 30 years ago, and I`ve always given -- we were talking about different issues. But my tithings were working because sometimes we`re not near where we live. So when I work I would give -- volunteer. I would give and donate my time.
BEHAR: It`s for animals.
BLAIR: So the -- through the years I did the children, I did the animals, or the seniors, elderly, and then finally with -- after hurricane Katrina I had started my own foundation, the Linda Blair World Heart Foundation, found at lindablairworldheart.org. It`s for animal and human welfare. I`d love if people come and visit. Here`s a special hat for you.
BEHAR: Thank you. That`s so nice. Because I have two dogs.
BLAIR: I know you do.
BEHAR: And we love the puppies.
BLAIR: Yes, we do.
BEHAR: And you`re doing a nice job. Thank you for showing up today.
BLAIR: I love you.
BEHAR: Thank you. And you can get "The Exorcist" on Blu-Ray on October fifth. Good night, everybody.
END
