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CNN Live Event/Special
Live From Time's Square: Ringing in 2012 With Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin
Aired December 31, 2011 - 23:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
ANDERSON COOPER, HOST: And good evening, everyone. Welcome, we are live in New York's Times Square.
KATHY GRIFFIN, HOST: And welcome to Honolulu.
COOPER: It's very warm here. Kind of feels--
GRIFFIN: The teleprompter says welcome to Honolulu.
COOPER: Well, I'm not going to read that. I didn't read that.
GRIFFIN: I know, but I'm saying already--
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: We're off to this kind of a start, where we don't even know what state we're in.
COOPER: Yes, unlike some other shows where they've had--probably been rehearsing al day--
GRIFFIN: Yes.
COOPER: --you know, Ryan Seacrest has, we have not been rehearsing.
GRIFFIN: I can't even believe you said his name in front of me. I'm going to jump off this riser right now.
COOPER: We've got a lot of surprises in the hour and a half ahead.
GRIFFIN: Right.
COOPER: A lot of folks performing here in Times Square.
GRIFFIN: Right.
COOPER: Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, Cee lo Green, none of which are on our show.
GRIFFIN: No, but we're going to act they're on our show. And also, this is really live. So any of you that are DVR'ing this, you really--this is the one you want to watch, trust me. Do they replay this all night?
COOPER: Yes, because they will probably replay this. GRIFFIN: Oh, fantastic. Well, this is the one you want.
COOPER: Unless you do something terrible like you have done in past years. And you know what's sad about this year?
GRIFFIN: What?
COOPER: Last year, there was a sign that said no swearing.
GRIFFIN: Right.
COOPER: Look at the sign there, hold up this year. Look, it says both no nudity and no swearing.
GRIFFIN: That's for you. That's for you. You've been--
COOPER: That's not--we know who that--
GRIFFIN: You've been to my hotel room naked and swearing all day. It's not appropriate.
COOPER: So hundreds of thousands--
GRIFFIN: And I don't appreciate it.
COOPER: --of people are here tonight. It may be record crowds, because it is so warm here. It's probably in the 40s, I know.
GRIFFIN: And yet I'm wearing the coat that your mother encouraged me to buy, which I love.
COOPER: A faux fur, I think.
GRIFFIN: Yes, it's a faux fur, because I went shopping with Gloria Vanderbilt. Take that Seacrest.
COOPER: Hundreds of thousands of people here.
GRIFFIN: I'm after you. I see you.
COOPER: Not freezing cold at all, like we have been in past years. Very warm. Feels like the last day in September. The final hour right now--
GRIFFIN: Yes.
COOPER: --in 2011. The first moment--
GRIFFIN: But can you just set the stage for the chaos that's happening behind us? There's someone is yelling in Spanish.
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: You have to kiss butt for the other Hispanic networks, because you're angered them on "David Letterman."
COOPER: No, well, no, I said something maybe on "David Letterman," but--
GRIFFIN: He's going like a $2 whore. I'm not kidding. He will take a picture.
COOPER: Of like a what?
GRIFFIN: A $2 whore?
COOPER: Oh, really, OK.
GRIFFIN: I just called you a $2 whore.
COOPER: OK, thank you.
GRIFFIN: That's right.
COOPER: OK, well, it's 11:00 here. We're very excited--
GRIFFIN: Yes.
COOPER: --to ring in the new year. Has this been a good year for you?
GRIFFIN: This has been a fantastic year. In fact, if I can give you some of my own highlights. Everyone's talking about the usual, the Kardashian divorce, etcetera, Charlie Sheen--
COOPER: Is that what everyone's talking about?
GRIFFIN: (Inaudible) winning. The Kardashian divorce is still very much on my mind.
COOPER: OK.
GRIFFIN: I'm not over it.
COOPER: OK.
GRIFFIN: And to Kris Humphries if you're watching, I'm single. Call me. OK, so some of my own personal highlights were, and I know you've done this too, too, but I was actually spanked by one of the little chocolatiers. Can we see a picture, please?
COOPER: Who are the little chocolatiers?
GRIFFIN: Wow, you know what granny, you need to get out more, because there's a show about little people who make chocolate.
COOPER: Really? That was one of the highlights, that moment right there? Wow.
GRIFFIN: Yes.
COOPER: OK.
GRIFFIN: A little chocolatier came to one of my live shows and spanked me.
COOPER: OK.
GRIFFIN: You're not going to see that on any other broadcast. I promise.
COOPER: Yes, thankfully.
GRIFFIN: Yes.
COOPER: Thankfully.
GRIFFIN: And also, the Nancy Grace nip slip.
COOPER: What?
GRIFFIN: Why are you getting nervous because you work like in the same building.
COOPER: Nancy Grace texted me earlier tonight, wishing me a happy new year.
GRIFFIN: She did?
COOPER: And I'm sure that was--
GRIFFIN: What did her nipple wish you?
COOPER: That--I like that you put Wolf Blitzer's head over that. I like--
GRIFFIN: I want to know what Wolf is doing right now. What is Wolf's drink of choice? I'm just wondering.
COOPER: I have no idea.
GRIFFIN: Is like a highball, or a Manhattan, or Tom Collins--
COOPER: (Inaudible) matching?
GRIFFIN: I'm thinking he's old school. Yes.
COOPER: We'll try to find out. We'll put some of our researchers on it right now.
GRIFFIN: Now what do we--whose face are we going to put on your nipple when you have your nip slip in 20 minutes?
COOPER: So we got a lot--
GRIFFIN: Twenty minutes away from Anderson Cooper's nip slip.
COOPER: --a lot of the people in the crowd tonight. The scene at Times Square here, it's always pretty amazing here. I mean, the atmosphere, it's really like no other place. GRIFFIN: But not as amazing as when I visited you in your summer house. And you and I went sunbathing. We have a picture of that as well. Now, how do you feel about your pale skin? Are you embarrassed or do you embrace it?
COOPER: I would prefer--Look, great, I appreciate. Wow.
GRIFFIN: Yes, we look like (inaudible)--
COOPER: You actually brought photos this year.
GRIFFIN: --without the scandal.
COOPER: I know this is--that's why I wore a skirt.
GRIFFIN: Hey, what do you think about Maria Shriver maybe getting back with Arnold?
COOPER: What?
GRIFFIN: Yes. Maria Shriver--
COOPER: You're making this up.
GRIFFIN: --is thinking about getting back with Arnold.
COOPER: You're totally making this stuff up. I don't know why you're making this stuff up.
GRIFFIN: Okay. Did you ever get a maid pregnant?
COOPER: OK, we can take down the picture of you and I sunbathing. I think America's seen the paleness enough.
GRIFFIN: They can't handle that much hotness.
COOPER: They can't handle that much paleness. It's like--
GRIFFIN: Well, I bet if it was a picture of you and Poppy Harlow, you'd love to show it.
COOPER: You're obsessed--
GRIFFIN: CNN correspondent--
COOPER: --with Poppy Harlow.
GRIFFIN: --who I'm a little obsessed with.
COOPER: We're going to be bringing you all the New Year's celebrations, not only from here in New York City, but also--I love--
GRIFFIN: And now, a picture of Anderson Cooper's bed.
COOPER: --around the country, also--
GRIFFIN: I have literally a picture of me in Anderson Cooper's bed.
COOPER: --around the world.
GRIFFIN: And I know a lot of people want to be there, but I was there.
COOPER: Yes, Kathy spent a weekend in my house in Long Island. and sadly, that is actually a picture of her in my bed.
GRIFFIN: OK, but give the back story, because you were actually doing the news--
COOPER: What was sad is I let Kathy go for a day before I actually arrived at the house for the weekend.
GRIFFIN: Because he's a giver.
COOPER: I sent her the key.
GRIFFIN: That's a crime.
COOPER: I trusted her. And while I was on the air that night on the news, she was texting me naked photos--
GRIFFIN: Naked photos.
COOPER: --of herself, sprawled out in my house--
GRIFFIN: In the bed.
COOPER: --in various compromising positions.
GRIFFIN: Extremely compromising.
COOPER: Which didn't want to see. No one wants to see.
GRIFFIN: But what was weird is your reaction was inappropriate. It wasn't, you know, get out, or put your clothes on, you're embarrassing me. It was how is everything going?
COOPER: Well, at that point, I didn't want to make you mad, because I don't know what you'd do.
GRIFFIN: OK, but I thought this next one would affect you. And I thought you'd be worried for my safety, because this is actually me on your bedroom floor.
COOPER: This was the low point, actually, of the year.
GRIFFIN: I had a lot of low points.
COOPER: When you sent me that picture this year.
GRIFFIN: Yes, I wanted you the think I was dead.
COOPER: Let's check it. Gosh. GRIFFIN: And I wanted to know if you cared.
COOPER: Well, I figured somebody took the picture. So I figured it was OK. We got reporters all over the country, all over the world, covering New Year's celebrations, a lot of which have already occurred. (Inaudible) is down here at street level, along with hundreds of thousands of partiers, some of whom have been here since early in the morning. Brooke Baldwin is in Music City in Nashville, Tennessee, where celebrations are going to be around a lot of music, obviously. We're going to check in with her a little bit later on. Also, as always, John Zarrella is in Key West, Florida, where footwear, not music, is the star.
GRIFFIN: No, this is always a highlight. We have a tradition.
COOPER: This is an odd tradition of ours, a giant shoe, size 88EEE or so--
GRIFFIN: A large shoe.
COOPER: Filled with sushi. This is the tradition--
GRIFFIN: (Inaudible) shoe.
COOPER: --in Key West. A hard one to explain. John's going to show us later on.
GRIFFIN: And then, my personal favorite--
COOPER: Gary Tuchman--
GRIFFIN: This is where we get really edgy, when--Gary Tuchman, who unlike you have a genuine correspondent.
COOPER: Gary Tuchman--
GRIFFIN: (Inaudible) actually does the real work. He doesn't model. He does no modeling at all. Actual straight up reporting.
COOPER: Gary Tuchman is back at New York Central Park. He has got his running shoes on.
GRIFFIN: Yes.
COOPER: He is going to--along with his daughter, Samantha, for another New Year's tradition.
GRIFFIN: Isn't his daughter 50 now, 51? I mean, honestly--
COOPER: No, no.
GRIFFIN: How many years are we going to say that?
COOPER: His beautiful daughter is with us. They're going to do the midnight run--
GRIFFIN: Yes.
COOPER: --which is a tradition here in New York. We're also going to show you in Egypt how they celebrated New Year's eve, in London, all around the world.
GRIFFIN: All around the world.
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: That's edgy, but really, especially reporters--
COOPER: But--
GRIFFIN: --and their families running in Central Park.
COOPER: That's--
GRIFFIN: Way to go, Cooper. That's nice.
COOPER: The thing you guys missed already though was Justin Bieber singing "Let It Be" here.
GRIFFIN: I'm still traumatized. Justin Bieber with a skull, a scarf, because I guess he's a little chilly. And then Carlos Santana came out. I don't know if he gave him some weed. I think I saw a transaction. I'm not positive.
COOPER: No, (inaudible) none of that.
GRIFFIN: I just--I don't have my glasses on.
COOPER: Justin Bieber was thinner than I anticipated.
GRIFFIN: He was closer than I anticipated. And by the way, he was like got the heck out of dodge. I mean, he's now been in his hotel for two hours. So boom, in and out. Same with Pit Bull--
COOPER: But he was singing "Let It Be."
GRIFFIN: Pit Bull's actually impregnated seven women since he did his song four minutes ago.
COOPER: Wait, he what?
GRIFFIN: Impregnated seven women.
COOPER: You cannot say that.
GRIFFIN: He's--
COOPER: It's not true.
GRIFFIN: I'm just assuming.
COOPER: No, it's just not true.
GRIFFIN: Allegedly.
COOPER: No.
GRIFFIN: I plead the Fifth.
COOPER: Absolutely not true.
GRIFFIN: A baby mama on the riser with you.
COOPER: OK. All right. So this is how it is going to be, isn't it?
GRIFFIN: I--by the way, I have brain teasers for you.
COOPER: You have what?
GRIFFIN: I have brain teasers.
COOPER: OK.
GRIFFIN: Because I want to know if you're smart.
COOPER: OK.
GRIFFIN: My first one is, did you just cut one?
COOPER: What is that--how is that a brain teaser?
GRIFFIN: It cracks me up every time. I know it's not mature.
COOPER: It's not mature.
GRIFFIN: Yes. Did you just cut one.
COOPER: It's not (inaudible).
GRIFFIN: But I'm sorry, I'm only human.
COOPER: All right.
GRIFFIN: That's funny, because he just cut one. Get it?
COOPER: That's not funny.
GRIFFIN: All right.
COOPER: Well, let's check in with the crowd in Times Square. Let's check in with Isha, who's down there. Isha, a lot of excited people, hey?
GRIFFIN: Isha, did you just cut one?
ISHA SESAY, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Absolutely, Anderson. Make some noise. They are in great voice, Anderson. And they are super excited to be here, because this really is the ultimate street party. They come here from all over the world. There are people here from Spain, from the Netherlands, from Mexico, people from all around the United States. And they come here to share in the very unique atmosphere. And of course, to see the ball drop at midnight, and usher in the new year.
I've been talking to them. And someone said to me, this is a bucket list item, being here in New York's Times Square. There's no other place to be. This is the place they wanted to come and just share all the festivities, and just really soak in the very unique atmosphere. So it's absolutely fantastic down here. They're dancing, they've got their balloons, and they're just making a lot of noise, but we're having a great time. Keep checking in with us.
COOPER: All right, Isha, thanks very much.
GRIFFIN: I like that Isha's acting like Americans down here. Really? First of all--
COOPER: (Inaudible)?
GRIFFIN: --no New Yorker worth their salt--
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: --would ever be here. My New York friends are not (inaudible).
COOPER: There are not a lot of New Yorkers, that is true.
GRIFFIN: No, it's sweet. Some people from Denmark, those that are Brits. I'm actually a little warm. Would you help me get out of this?
COOPER: It looks very intricate. It looks like a whole system and only weights and pulleys.
GRIFFIN: You're saying you won't help to undress me, Anderson Cooper?
COOPER: No.
GRIFFIN: All right, I'm going to undress myself. Aren't we going to talk about my fancy dress. You--
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: --also worn by--
COOPER: By Madonna, I believe.
GRIFFIN: Thank you.
COOPER: Yes, very similar.
GRIFFIN: I'm practically Madonna is my point.
COOPER: Is your hair real?
GRIFFIN: My hair is the magic hair. Some of it's mine, some of it's magic. All I'm saying is don't pull too hard as my hair personality could unravel. All right, now your turn.
COOPER: OK. No, there's nothing--
GRIFFIN: OK, really?
COOPER: What?
GRIFFIN: What size are your jeans? Did you shrink them?
COOPER: What?
GRIFFIN: What size are the jeans? I get it, you're hot. I mean, why don't you just wear clothes that fit, for God's sake.
COOPER: Like your what?
GRIFFIN: Wear clothes that fit.
COOPER: Aye, ya, aye.
GRIFFIN: Those are a little tight in your nether region.
COOPER: If you want to join the conversation on Twitter, the hash tag to use is cnnnye.
GRIFFIN: That's so edgy that you're doing hash tags. Way to go, Charlie Sheen. That's awesome.
COOPER: Tweet us your questions. We'll try to answer as many as we can a little bit later on in the program. You can--
GRIFFIN: We're not going to take any Twitter questions.
COOPER: As always--
GRIFFIN: In particular.
COOPER: Kathy is at--Kathy Griffin, our producer, on the riser, and Jack Gray (ph). He's doing a kind of a behind the scenes look. So less than an hour to go. A lot to see. What do you--what's on your bucket list? Isha was saying for a lot of people, this is their bucket list.
GRIFFIN: Oh, this moment is a bucket list?
COOPER: Yes, being in Times Square.
GRIFFIN: OK, what I want t see is I want to see you mixing up with the people. I want to see you sitting on laps. I want to see you drunk. I want to see you--
COOPER: That's your goal? That's one of the things you want to see before you die?
GRIFFIN: Well, because I know you're so socially awkward and uncomfortable. COOPER: Right, well, that's true.
GRIFFIN: It's for you to have to be around like civilians, that aren't also models.
COOPER: I'm a man of the people.
GRIFFIN: What was that nervous--nervously, do you think that's it's all going to be better if you just can have a high collar. You're like a freaking royal. Look at this. It's all better.
COOPER: It is true.
GRIFFIN: You (inaudible) safe place.
COOPER: That is true.
GRIFFIN: He just went to the safe place.
COOPER: It's totally true. I feel--
GRIFFIN: Where are you ticklish?
COOPER: I am just going to do the whole show like this.
GRIFFIN: Are you ticklish anywhere?
COOPER: No, no, no. I wore a heavy sweater.
GRIFFIN: You're not ticklish?
COOPER: So that even if you punch me, it won't hurt.
GRIFFIN: Is that your emotional shield? It's just not thick enough. It's got to be kevlar. What should our couple name be? Like Brangelina. Can we have a couple name?
COOPER: Someone actually on Twitter did have a name for us?
GRIFFIN: Coopfin?
COOPER: No, it was like--
GRIFFIN: Griffer?
COOPER: I forgot it. It was like--I don't know. Kanderson.
GRIFFIN: Can I say I'm going to watch your balls drop?
COOPER: What?
GRIFFIN: Can I say I'm going to watch your balls drop?
COOPER: What?
GRIFFIN: It's like a double entendre? COOPER: Yes, not even a double. Let's take a quick break.
GRIFFIN: A triple entendre?
COOPER: New Year's in London is next. Later, in Nashville with-- where they're waiting for a giant musical note to drop. Plenty more from Times Square. We'll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
MATTHEW CHANCE, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Well, I'm Matthew Chance in London. And these are the final few seconds of 2011. You can hear them. The crowd are counting down. Hundreds of thousands of people have gathered here to see in the new year. And here it is! Wow, the crowd have gone wild. The fireworks are coming off Big Ben, the houses of parliament. This is a spectacular London welcome to 2012.
COOPER: That was New Year's in London, site of the 2012 Olympic games. And we are live in Times Square with Kathy Griffin.
GRIFFIN: I went to Buckingham Palace and met Charles and Camilla with Joan Rivers.
COOPER: Why would they allow you in Buckingham Palace?
GRIFFIN: And Windsor Castle.
COOPER: Why would they allow you in either of those places?
GRIFFIN: Because Joan Rivers totally rolls that way.
COOPER: Really?
GRIFFIN: It's like a little known thing about Joan Rivers--
COOPER: Did they know who you were?
GRIFFIN: --besides being bad you know what. The first night he didn't know who I was, but then I was on "Graham Norton." So the second night, he said I think I should be more afraid of you than Joan. And he's a big laugher. And he turns red when he laughs. I dig him.
COOPER: You dig Prince Charles?
GRIFFIN: And then, I slept with him.
COOPER: No, let's not go there.
GRIFFIN: No, but I just thought maybe he'd sleep--
COOPER: There's growing excitement here, I would say, in Times Square. Very excited.
GRIFFIN: But can we--all right, let's just be honest--
COOPER: All right, whatever, go ahead.
GRIFFIN: --because--
COOPER: Yes, just go.
GRIFFIN: So I just think it's interesting. People don't know that you do no prep for this. You don't care about this.
COOPER: Right. No, no, I like this very much.
GRIFFIN: I start writing jokes in July. So last night was the first night he let me go to his house in New York. So what I'm going to tell you is what is in his guest bathroom, because I think it's shame based. Do you want to tell them?
COOPER: What's in my guest bathroom?
GRIFFIN: I think you know. On the walls?
COOPER: What? I don't know. What?
GRIFFIN: Tell them.
COOPER: Some pictures.
GRIFFIN: Oh, yes, Mr. News Man, keeping them honest.
COOPER: I don't know, what is--
GRIFFIN: Your collection of toy soldiers.
COOPER: Yes, from when I was a little kid.
GRIFFIN: I mean, a really large collection of toy soldiers.
COOPER: It's like antique--
GRIFFIN: Someone's got daddy issues big time. And also, they're perfectly lined like he has OCD.
COOPER: From when I was a little kid.
GRIFFIN: Major.
COOPER: What's wrong with that?
GRIFFIN: But they're so perfect. And if I had even moved one, you know, (inaudible) or lieutenant or whatever, I mean, I would have been out of there. He was hardcore.
COOPER: They're antique, the toy--
GRIFFIN: You're nervous. He was like here's my collection, don't touch them.
COOPER: No, I did not say that. GRIFFIN: But I know that when you go to the bathroom, you play more.
COOPER: That's true.
GRIFFIN: And you are always the general that won. And I--you know I was dying to like blow on them and have them go over, but I knew you would freak out.
COOPER: I'm not--well, it is a little thing, no, I don't need to explain myself to you.
GRIFFIN: Oh, yes, you do, because you have a bizarre toy soldier collection in your bathroom that the world needs to know about.
COOPER: From when I was a kid. What's wrong with that?
GRIFFIN: That you kept them and that they're so perfectly aligned.
COOPER: What's the best new year's eve you have had?
GRIFFIN: Well, my New Year's with you cannot be beat.
COOPER: I--
GRIFFIN: (Inaudible) this is true..
COOPER: We've been doing this for five years.
GRIFFIN: It's true.
COOPER: I've been doing New Year's probably here for 10 years. I started doing this because I hate New Year's Eve--
GRIFFIN: Right.
COOPER: --in New York City. You can't find a cab. It's very hard. I think there's so much pressure to have a good time.
GRIFFIN: But that's relatable in this economy that you had to do this crappy job because you couldn't find a taxi.
COOPER: That's not what I said at all. I said I generally do not enjoy New Year's eve--
GRIFFIN: (Inaudible).
COOPER: --but doing this has made me really love New Year's Eve--
GRIFFIN: Now it's joy call.
COOPER: --because love the atmosphere.
GRIFFIN: We should do this for Arbor Day.
COOPER: For me, the most exciting part--
GRIFFIN: We should do this for Arbor Day on (inaudible).
COOPER: Right. When is arbor day?
GRIFFIN: What's happening--we just want you to know what's always happening--
COOPER: It's the Village People--
GRIFFIN: It's more production value.
COOPER: It's the Village People right now over there. I don't know what's going on.
GRIFFIN: I think it's serious. I think it actually is the Village People. You don't know what you're going to see behind us.
COOPER: But at the stroke of midnight, obviously, the giant Waterford crystal--
GRIFFIN: The ball drops.
COOPER: Well, there's one ball.
GRIFFIN: Why can't you say my balls are going to drop?
COOPER: Because there's one ball and it's--
GRIFFIN: Why can't you say I'm Anderson Cooper--
COOPER: All right.
GRIFFIN: --please watch.
COOPER: Let's move on from that joke. I know you've been writing that one since April.
GRIFFIN: But you know like I dig any teeth into a joke like a dog with a bone?
COOPER: Oh, yes, yes, I know.
GRIFFIN: That's one of my favorites.
COOPER: And so, yes, well, we all know what's going to happen behind us.
GRIFFIN: Did you just cut one?
COOPER: Let's move on from that joke as well.
GRIFFIN: But earlier you said, cancel that, watch. And kids love that joke. They really think did you cut one is super funny.
COOPER: We encourage kids not to watch.
GRIFFIN: That's true. COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: Kids go to bed. I mean it. Especially you with the crew cuts. Go to bed. So what other prep did you do today?
COOPER: I did no prep whatsoever.
GRIFFIN: I know.
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: All right, so I have some--
COOPER: OK.
GRIFFIN: --what three dictators died this year?
COOPER: What three dictators died this year?
GRIFFIN: Yes.
COOPER: Kim Jong-Il, Moammar Gadhafi, and that's the only--there's only the two.
GRIFFIN: No.
COOPER: No, there are two.
GRIFFIN: After the break, we're going to tell you who the third one is.
COOPER: There hasn't been a third.
GRIFFIN: Or maybe after the broadcast.
COOPER: The leader of Yemen got very badly injured, but he's still alive.
GRIFFIN: What's his name?
COOPER: Saleh. Anyway, I'm right. So--
GRIFFIN: What's the capital of Yemen?
COOPER: What's the capital of Yemen?
GRIFFIN: Yemen City?
COOPER: Saana (ph), Saana (ph).
GRIFFIN: That's what you said the (inaudible). You can't just say Saana (ph) or Saleh (ph) for everything.
COOPER: The--
GRIFFIN: God, I miss Bill O'Reilly right now. I do. I miss Hannity. I wish I was standing here with Sean Hannity, I do.
COOPER: Have you--
GRIFFIN: And politically, I'm very opposed.
COOPER: For you, what was one of the big events of this year that you observed?
GRIFFIN: Watching you do the Republican debate was fantastic.
COOPER: You liked that?
GRIFFIN: Of course, I did.
COOPER: Yes?
GRIFFIN: You know I'm the big CNN junkie.
COOPER: You--
GRIFFIN: And I have a crush on Jack Cafferty.
COOPER: You have a big--you're kind of torn between your love of Nancy Grace and Jane Velez-Mitchell.
GRIFFIN: Well, I do love Jane Velez-Mitchell, because she's outraged.
COOPER: And--
GRIFFIN: Nancy Grace is a crime stopper, as well as a dancer. Now tonight, Anderson is announcing that he is joining the cast of "Dancing with the Stars."
COOPER: Actually, I got to interrupt. There's some sort of commotion up on the jumbotrons, around the ball. Let's zoom into that and let's see what it is.
GRIFFIN: What is that?
GREEN GOBLIN: Happy new year to all you little bugs down there in Times Square! Cold. Oh, lots of folks from out of town, just like I like it. I hope you all are enjoying yourself, because I'm taking over this party right now. 2012 is going to be the year of the goblin, the green goblin.
I'm launching the www, worldwide web network. And I'm going to need an anchor man, so I have chosen Anderson Cooper. Oh, yeah, that's right. Keeping them honest Cooper is going to be my guy. But first, he'll have to go through a little process I call goblinization. It's not quite the stroke of midnight, but I don't like to wait around, especially when there's partying to be done. So what do you say that we play drop the ball early?
GRIFFIN: OK. All of Times Square is frozen right now with fear. And everyone frankly freaked out. So we're going to have to figure something out. Apparently Anderson Cooper has been abducted. Not by me this time, but we're going to take a short break and I'm going to get to the bottom of this, because people are frightened.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
TIME STAMP: 2324:00
GREEN GOBLIN: Well, hello, all you freaks down there in Times Square and all you freaks out in TV land. I got the star on New Year's eve right here. That's right. The man with the head of hair you'd love to run your fingers through. Well, here he is, the one, the only Anderson Cooper. How you doing, Anderson? You having a good time?
COOPER: Do I look like I'm having a good time? What are you doing?
GREEN GOBLIN: I'm about to make you a star, pretty boy. I'm going to turn you into the first freak newscaster so that you can anchor my newly incorporated WWFN.
COOPER: WWFN?
GREEN GOBLIN: Worldwide Freak Network. You're going to be bigger than Blitzer.
COOPER: Bigger than Wolf Blitzer? No, that's crazy. I'm not going the work for your stupid network.
GREEN GOBLIN: Please?
COOPER: No.
GREEN GOBLIN: Pretty please?
COOPER: No.
GREEN GOBLIN: You can be my co-anchor.
COOPER: I don't want another co-anchor. I got to deal with Kathy Griffin. She's bad enough.
GREEN GOBLIN: Come on!
COOPER: Are you insane?
GREEN GOBLIN: No, do I look insane?
COOPER: Yes, yes, you kind of do.
GREEN GOBLIN: Well, yes, but only in the best sense.
COOPER: I'm not going to work for your network. CNN would sue me for breach of contract. They'd sue you, too.
GREEN GOBLIN: Oh, I am so scared.
SPIDERMAN: You should be scared, goblin. It's spidy time. Sorry, it took me so long, but Times Square is busy.
GREEN GOBLIN: Spiderman! Have you missed me, Spider?
COOPER: You got to get some better lines, goblin.
GREEN GOBLIN: We'll see about that, news boy. You'll be singing a different tune when you're all beautiful like me.
COOPER: Spiderman, would you mind bringing up a little bit?
SPIDERMAN: Yes, no problem. Got you covered. You, too, goblin.
COOPER: Thanks, Spiderman, I don't care what they say about you in the newspapers, you're a real New York hero.
SPIDERMAN: Doing my job, Mr. Cooper like you, which reminds me (inaudible) back in Times Square.
COOPER: Later, Spiderman.
SPIDERMAN: Later. Looks like another win from your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.
GREEN GOBLIN: Not so fast, Spidy-boy. (Inaudible). Well, it ain't over. No more party for New York.
SPIDERMAN: Not if I can help it, gob Lynn, goblin.
GRIFFIN: I'm giving you the slow clap. I'm giving you it's the end of every high school football movie, where the guy with one leg comes out and gets a touchdown. I don't even know--OK, this is--you know what, America, the globe, this is what happens when I take a day off. What--OK. I'm trying to follow the storyline. Are you--have you been abducted by a goblin?
COOPER: I got a question.
GRIFFIN: Have you stopped modeling?
COOPER: I don't know.
GRIFFIN: What--
COOPER: I don't. I don't really know.
GRIFFIN: Because I'm just going to say it right to their faces. He was just standing here the whole time.
COOPER: No.
GRIFFIN: He wasn't really abducted.
COOPER: I was captured by the goblin. Yes.
GRIFFIN: It is like the John Wolf face-off, where--
COOPER: That could have been you.
GRIFFIN: (Inaudible).
COOPER: That could have been you. They said we wanted Kathy Griffin--
GRIFFIN: That harness would hurt my nether regions.
COOPER: --but you weren't available.
GRIFFIN: It would hurt my vagina, I'm just going to say it.
COOPER: OK.
GRIFFIN: My vagina is not (inaudible) at this point.
COOPER: OK. Anyway--
GRIFFIN: Are you here, are you safe? Is Spiderman going to come--
COOPER: All right--
GRIFFIN: --and if you think you're ever going to live this down.
COOPER: No.
GRIFFIN: And don't act like putting your arm around me makes it better, OK, because--
COOPER: I'm going to zip up my sweater.
GRIFFIN: I--between--
COOPER: And I'm going to start rocking.
GRIFFIN: Oh, I thought you were actually having heart palpitations. I really thought you were just going to--and there was like a shooting pain up your left arm.
COOPER: So what have been some of the big moments for you?-
GRIFFIN: No, no, the coughing does not make it better.
COOPER: I'm a little sick. So I want sympathy.
GRIFFIN: Was that your integrity coming up? And now it's gone. Wow. I cannot wait to see your number for "Chorus Line." That's going to be great. Or "Les Mis" or--
COOPER: You know what? You know--
GRIFFIN: Well, maybe the "Rock of Ages" kids could come do a number with you.
COOPER: You know I'm in a Broadway musical? I'm the voice, the narrator in "How to Succeed in Business."
GRIFFIN: Absolutely. COOPER: Yes, have you seen it?
GRIFFIN: I have seen it. And it's fantastic. In fact--
COOPER: Have you ever seen it?
GRIFFIN: --when I was on Broadway on my own show called "Kathy Griffin Wants a Tony."
COOPER: Did you get a Tony?
GRIFFIN: As a matter--I was robbed of a Tony, but the cast--
COOPER: I like how you're now wearing your coat like a European person.
GRIFFIN: Like I'm Myrna Loy?
COOPER: Yes. No, like I imagine you sort of walking around like, who is that original--
GRIFFIN: Oh, after that last bit, I feel above you. OK.
COOPER: Oh.
GRIFFIN: I know, I can't decide if I'm hot or cold.
COOPER: And you're like the guy in "Godfather" who walked around the street. Oh, look, there you--
GRIFFIN: There I am in Broadway.
COOPER: --trying to get a Tony. Yes.
GRIFFIN: Oh, yes, so the cast obviously left me a signed picture.
COOPER: Oh, really?
GRIFFIN: And that's my touch of greatness.
COOPER: So are you going to go for the whole show with this European--
GRIFFIN: No, I'm going to untie my--
COOPER: Why don't you get a little sweater and tie it sweater around your neck, like you're playing tennis or something in the Hamptons?
GRIFFIN: I'm going to untie--I don't know what's going to happen tonight. Here, I'm going to--
COOPER: Where's the sign? Where's the sign?
GRIFFIN: --loosen up a little bit.
COOPER: Where's the sign? Please, just remember. GRIFFIN: I can undo one button. I--there's not nudity. I think I wore underwear. I'm not--no swearing? Oh, should we do the bit about how at midnight--
COOPER: OK.
GRIFFIN: --you're going to--
COOPER: There we go. So--
GRIFFIN: I'm just going to model while you--
COOPER: --I want to thank all of the folks at "Spiderman" the green goblin, all the folks. They actually let me fly around the theater, which is actually really cool.
GRIFFIN: Do you have any idea the amount of jokes that I am choking back right now?
COOPER: It's all going to come--
GRIFFIN: My jokes--
COOPER: Look, there I am flying around the theater. Isn't that cool? That was actually really fun. They let me fly three times.
GRIFFIN: And by the way, how's your infection?
COOPER: How's my what?
GRIFFIN: Infection.
COOPER: That's--I don't have--there's no infection.
GRIFFIN: Did you get a yeast infection or?
COOPER: No, no. And it was a lot of fun. And look, I landed. Look how good I was. Look how--I'm a dork. Yes, yes.
GRIFFIN: Oh, no, that's your life, because everywhere you go, people just clap like you're being potty trained. Yay, good job, buddy. Unbelievable. I wish John Zarrella was here to make it all better.
COOPER: Let's check in with John Zarrella, who's down in Key West, Florida for a very unique American tradition. John, how's the scene down there?
JOHN ZARRELLA, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Hey, Anderson, Kathy, it is amped up here. Sushi arrived on the stage just a few moments ago. There she is up in the shoe.
Now, she's wearing a period dress this year that, of course, she made herself, because in 2012 is the 100th anniversary of Henry Flagler's railroad connecting the mainland to Key West being completed. So sushi's wearing that period dress. And you got to see this crowd. 50,000 people here. Hey, where are you from? FEMALE VOICE: New Brunswick, Canada.
ZARRELLA: Is this a little bizarre?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Different.
ZARRELLA: It's different, isn't it?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Exactly.
ZARRELLA: It is. A little different here?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: A little different here, it's great.
ZARRELLA: Where are you from?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Canada.
ZARRELLA: You guys having a good time?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I am. It's great.
ZARRELLA: Are you having a good time?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Great time. Great time.
ZARRELLA: Wonderful. Where are you from?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Florida.
ZARRELLA: OK. Good. Florida. So we got just a mountain of people, probably more than they have ever had before, all up and down Duvall Street, not just here up at Sloppy Joe's, the conch shell drops at midnight. Down at the wharf on a three masted schooner, the pirate wench drops from the main mast. Of course, what would you expect from Key West. A lot of fun here tonight, Anderson. Beautiful weather, a terrific night, and Sushi 30 minutes away. Anderson, Kathy? Back to you.
COOPER: John, thanks very much. My favorite year was the year that Sushi was being lowered and there was like a technical malfunction.
GRIFFIN: Yes.
COOPER: And all I remember is--
GRIFFIN: Sushi was in danger.
COOPER: We took a live shot as she was like crawling along the roof to the bar. It was like oh.
GRIFFIN: But that is a drag queen in Key West.
COOPER: It's not going to end well.
GRIFFIN: There's a lot of moisture. Your hair frizzes. I'm excited to see the live shot from Tulsa. Are we going to go live for Tulsa or Wichita?
COOPER: No, we're going to be from Nashville.
GRIFFIN: Wow.
COOPER: You probably played Tulsa, though, an awful lot.
GRIFFIN: You darn right, I played Tulsa. They meet my--they--if the check clears, you're darn right I'll play there. In fact, I'm on tour next weekend in Grand Prairie, Texas, New Orleans, and Austin.
COOPER: Are you? Where in New Orleans are you going to go?
GRIFFIN: I'm at the New Orleans--a beautiful iconic theater.
COOPER: OK.
GRIFFIN: I don't know the name.
COOPER: Well, New Orleans is great. I love New Orleans.
GRIFFIN: That's where you're from.
COOPER: I love New Orleans.
GRIFFIN: You love the gumbo.
COOPER: I love everything about New Orleans.
GRIFFIN: I just want to say that I was actually reading Anderson's tweets today. And they were so boring, I can't even--they were like, I guess I should get up now, got to do a show later.
COOPER: Well, we all can't like, you know, throw obscenities around and be crazy.
GRIFFIN: What, because I asked you at midnight, if you're--what was that--
COOPER: I don't know. We're going to take a quick break. Another reminder--
GRIFFIN: Do you some rest?
COOPER: No, I just--I just nervously was trying to zip myself.
GRIFFIN: He's obsessive. OCD.
COOPER: I know.
GRIFFIN: Not appropriate.
COOPER: We're all over the Twitter. If you want to join the conversation, hash tag to use is cnnnye. Somebody said it's just trending. I don't know why that--everyone always gets excited when things are trending like it's that big a deal. GRIFFIN: What should we do to trend?
COOPER: We are trending.
GRIFFIN: We're trending?
COOPER: Yes, I don't know--
GRIFFIN: Well, take your clothes off, let's really trend.
COOPER: Tweet us your questions. We'll try to answer some if we can. You can follow me @AndersonCooper or @KathyGriffin. Use the hash tag, the hash tag cnnnye.
GRIFFIN: Yes.
COOPER: Or @JackRay, our producer Jack Ray behind the scenes look. As well, look at the ball here in Times Square. We're going to be back with Kermit the Frog, Kelly Ripa--
GRIFFIN: What?
COOPER: Kelly Ripa's going to be with us? What?
GRIFFIN: This show is star studded after all.
COOPER: We'll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
TIME STAMP: 2338:35
KERMIT THE FROG: Hello Anderson. Hello there, Kathy. This is Kermit the Frog here. I really wish I could be with you both tonight, but I'm actually taking Miss Piggy to a party. She's the guest of honor. And I'm the only other guest. So wish me luck.
But anyway, on behalf of Miss Piggy and me and the whole cast of our new movie, "The Muppets" happy holidays and a happy new year to everyone. Oh, oh, and Kathy, Miss Piggy said to tell you that you can borrow the gown, but not the tiara, it's hers. Happy New Year.
COOPER: Oh, I like Kermit the frog.
GRIFFIN: Who doesn't like Kermit the Frog. I was in the latest Muppet movie.
COOPER: Were you really?
GRIFFIN: Yes, I was.
COOPER: I didn't know that.
GRIFFIN: Yes, I had a scene with Ricky Gervais and Billy Crystal.
COOPER: We've got a special guest on the phone I'm told. I just learned about this, Kelly Ripa is actually joining us.
GRIFFIN: Rip?
COOPER: The voice of "Live with Kelly." Kelly, are you there?
KELLY RIPA: Hi, Anderson. Hi, Kathy, how are you guys doing? Happy New Year.
COOPER: Happy New Year.
GRIFFIN: Happy New Year.
COOPER: My God, that's so nice of you to call in.
GRIFFIN: We're texting buddies.
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: That's true.
RIPA: I wouldn't miss it, are you kidding? You know, it's so funny, first, I had to follow the green goblin and then Kermit the Frog. So I'm going to change my whole outfit tonight.
COOPER: Well--
RIPA: Green.
COOPER: --just mention the goblin thing again, appreciate it.
RIPA: I just want to say on behalf of everyone in America--
COOPER: Yes.
RIPA: --Anderson, is loving you tied up in green (inaudible) is wrong, I don't want to be right.
GRIFFIN: I don't want to be right. I hear--I am with you. Guess what--
COOPER: Where are you celebrating, Kelly?
RIPA: Oh, well, we are in Colorado. We're here with our friends, Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld, who also say hello.
COOPER: Oh, wow, very nice.
RIPA: And we're all watching you. And especially Lola and Sasha want--they wanted to hear their names mentioned on TV. So we have to mention them.
COOPER: Oh.
GRIFFIN: Are they minors?
COOPER: Yes, they are minors, yes. GRIFFIN: Oh, they can watch the balls drop.
COOPER: (Inaudible) ignore--
RIPA: Yes, they are going to watch the ball drop.
COOPER: That's very nice. That's--well, we wish them both a happy new year to all of the kids.
GRIFFIN: I'm just saying that's how Anderson says it.
COOPER: And have you been like skiing? What's your wish for the new year?
GRIFFIN: Yes.
RIPA: Yes, you know, it's I think more of the same. I'm--I just feel very fortunate, very lucky. We've had a great vacation. We've been snowshoeing and hiking and just enjoying the beauty and the nature of the mountains out here. And I wish that for you and for you Kathy, just like--just great year for everybody.
COOPER: And have you ever been to New York's Times Square?
RIPA: Yes, I have when I was, you know, in my early, early 20s. But I haven't, you know, since we've had kids, we've always sort of faked New Year's like a few hours early. But now that we're on mountain time, we're actually going to get to see the ball drop with them and not have to lie and pretend that it's, you know, later than it is.
COOPER: So you used to lie to them and pretend that it was actually New Year's, that it was 12:00?
RIPA: We would pretend it was New Year's.
GRIFFIN: I think that you should lie to your children as much as possible.
RIPA: We would pretend that it was midnight at 8:00 p.m.
GRIFFIN: I think lying to children is important.
COOPER: That's great. That's a very good idea. That's a clever idea.
RIPA: Yes, exactly.
GRIFFIN: Absolutely. It's one of the tenets of raising your children is to lie to them, and tell them box wine is milk.
COOPER: Well, it's--Kelly, we wish you the best and to you and Mark, to your family, and to Jerry and Jessica, and their kids as well.
RIPA: Thank you so much.
COOPER: We want t wish you all the best of the New Year. Happiness and health.
RIPA: Thank you so much. We're having so much fun watching you.
GRIFFIN: Happy New Year!
COOPER: All right.
RIPA: Happy New Year, guys. Happy New Year.
COOPER: All right.
RIPA: Bye.
GRIFFIN: Good. Bye.
COOPER: Bye.
GRIFFIN: OK, let's just talk about that.
COOPER: What?
GRIFFIN: They are so much more famous than we are.
COOPER: I know.
GRIFFIN: And they're all like in a famous coven. I'm stuck with you.
COOPER: A famous coven?
GRIFFIN: Like witches?
COOPER: Like they're witches?
GRIFFIN: Yes, they're probably casting a spell on us.
COOPER: No, I imagine--it sounds very glamorous.
GRIFFIN: Do you know how much money was in that room?
COOPER: Well, it sounds very glamorous.
GRIFFIN: They can buy and sell you 15 times over. You know, I could be with Suze Orman. I don't need to be with you. I can maybe assist in counting her money. A real celebrity.
COOPER: A real celebrity, well.
GRIFFIN: If you were going to be--
COOPER: I would not want to be anywhere else in the world other than with you right now.
GRIFFIN: I--no, the minute we go to commercial break, you're going to start to text them and be like, oh, I wish I was with Kathy Griffin.
COOPER: I actually already did text an hour before we went on.
GRIFFIN: (Inaudible).
COOPER: I just (inaudible) for hours already. Yes, they have a jet standing by. I'm hoping to get out there--no--
GRIFFIN: I thought you said that they had the Judds standing by.
COOPER: Yes, the Judds are on later on.
GRIFFIN: Did you watch the Judds on the OWN Network?
COOPER: I--no.
GRIFFIN: Who's the mother, who's the daughter? It's a fantastic struggle. It's about their struggle getting along as a mother and the daughter. And then they--
COOPER: Hasn't it been going on for years that struggle?
GRIFFIN: Yes.
COOPER: That we know?
GRIFFIN: But I feel like, don't get me started on the O'Neals--
COOPER: All right.
GRIFFIN: --or Shania Twain. Why not? You know what? Shania Twain has asked why for so long, it's time she asked why not?
COOPER: Let's check in with Brooke Baldwin, live in Nashville. Brooke, how is the big celebration down there in Nashville?
GRIFFIN: And have you seen the Judds?
BROOKE BALDWIN, CNN CORRESPONDENT: It's huge, I got to say, you guys. We don't have the green goblin. No Spiderman, but I felt like I couldn't really ring in Nashville without my cowboy hat, my cowboy boots. We're kind of learning how to do it southern style here in Nashville. Check it out.
