Return to Transcripts main page
Showbiz Tonight
Green Day Singer Seeks Treatment; Justin Bieber`s Mom Opens Up about Suicide Attempt; Dina Lohan Demands a Do-Over; Demi Lovato Talks about Bullying; Schwarzenegger Writes Tell-All; The Top Five Best Burnett Moments from the Carol Burnett Show
Aired September 24, 2012 - 23:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
A.J. HAMMER, HOST: Tonight, the "SHOWBIZ Countdown," "True Confessions." Arnold`s affair tell-all. How Maria Shriver really found out about his other child. And Dina Lohan`s new plea after her loopy Dr. Phil interview. Tonight, which star`s story will top the "SHOWBIZ Countdown," "True Confessions"?
Thanks for watching. I`m A.J. Hammer with two big "SHOWBIZ Countdowns" tonight, including the Best Burnett Ever.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CAROL BURNETT, COMEDIAN: Excuse me, are you in the no frills section?
TIM CONWAY, COMEDIAN: Yes.
BURNETT: Well, then get your foot off our rug.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: Tonight we are counting down the top five laugh-out-loud drop-dead funniest scenes ever from, really, one of the greatest shows in television history. And look at this: the legendary Carol Burnett is right here tonight to help us do it, along with her great longtime co-stars, Tim Conway and Vicki Lawrence, but which will be No. 1?
But we begin with our very first top five "SHOWBIZ Countdown" tonight, brand-new "True Confessions," including in just a moment, my headline- making interview with Justin Bieber`s mother and her suicide attempt confession.
Right now, I want to kick off the confession countdown with No. 5, with Green Day lead singer and guitarist, Billy Joe Armstrong. He confessed today he`s getting treatment for substance abuse after an F-bomb meltdown over the weekend at the IHeartRadio concert in Vegas, which happened because he thought that Green Day`s performance was being cut short. Watch this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BILLY JOE ARMSTRONG, LEAD SINGER, GREEN DAY: Look at that (EXPLETIVE DELETED) sign right there. One minute. I`m not (EXPLETIVE DELETED) Justin Bieber, you mother-(EXPLETIVE DELETED). Let me show you what one (EXPLETIVE DELETED) minute can mean.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: OK. Now, as out-of-control as they may have seemed, you know, that Green Day meltdown used to be an everyday rock `n` roll concert moment. You expected that kind of thing.
With me tonight from Hollywood, Darren McMullen. Darren is the host of "The Voice" in Australia.
Darren, there is a long history, as we know, of rock stars getting on stage, smashing guitars and just kind of popping off like that, and it has nothing to do with drugs. So his substance abuse issues aside, was this meltdown really all that surprising to you?
DARREN MCMULLEN, HOST, "THE VOICE" IN AUSTRALIA: Oh, I thought it was absolutely brilliant. I was laughing my ass off there. I was a bit worried he wasn`t going to smash that guitar there for a while. That would be embarrassing. It seems they`re making those things a little bit stronger these days.
But you know, that`s good old fashioned rock `n` roll. I think the artists of today are a little bit too fluffy. You know, I liked the good old days when they came out, had a few drinks, told some cold, hard truths, and smashed up the stage. I thought it was absolutely brilliant.
HAMMER: Yes. Yes.
MCMULLEN: And that`s exactly why he`s been around for almost three decades. He`s the real deal.
HAMMER: Tear some things up, go back to your hotel room, and throw the television out the window. I`m not encouraging anybody to do that.
MCMULLEN: Standard.
HAMMER: That was the gold standard back then.
And listen, I don`t want to make light at all of Billy Joe`s addiction issues, whatever he might be dealing with. That aside, I do need to read the statement that Green Day sent out today after his rant, because it actually kind of makes these guys sound more like partners in a P.R. firm, rather than members of a punk rock band. Here`s what they said: "Billy Joe is seeking treatment for substance abuse. We would like everyone to know that our set was not cut short by Clear Channel and to apologize to those that we offended at the iHeartRadio Festival in Las Vegas."
OK. Let`s go to entertainment journalist Rachel Zalis, who`s also in Hollywood tonight. Rachel, can you just imagine -- I don`t know -- Mick Jagger and the Stones issuing a statement like this 40 years ago after popping off on stage?
RACHEL ZALIS, ENTERTAINMENT JOURNALIST: No way! What`s happening to our rock stars today? I miss the old sex, drugs, rock `n` roll.
I think the most embarrassing thing about this is we expect that on stage. We expect the guitar smashing, but anything to do with Justin Bieber in relationship to that is a little crazy. He`s like, how did I get in the middle of all this?
HAMMER: Yes. I`m sure he wasn`t really thrilled to be hearing his name tossed around.
And Billy Joe may have slammed Justin Bieber in his onstage rant, but he better watch out, because Justin`s mom is making some major revelations of her own tonight right here on SHOWBIZ TONIGHT. I can tell you, she is definitely one protective mom when it comes to her son, the Biebs.
Pattie Mallette`s tell-all interview with me is at No. 4 on our "SHOWBIZ True Confessions Countdown." Justin Bieber`s mom is telling all in her new book, "Nowhere But UP." She spoke with me about what it`s like having one of the world`s most famous superstars as her son, why her heart goes out to Lindsay Lohan.
And I started by asking her how she managed to turn the corner on her own drug addiction and troubled past.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: A lot of people, I know, when they`re at that level of despair, think there is no out. You saw it yourself with the suicide attempt. And to talk about it is great, sometimes easier said than done. But it`s always great to hear of somebody else`s corner turning. What was that for you?
PATTIE MALLETTE, JUSTIN BIEBER`S MOM: Yes. I just -- just hold on. You know, for me, it was my -- a combination of my faith and, you know, a lot of decisions. Decisions to forgive, and being able to talk about it was really important. Allowing myself to be angry appropriately but not to stay angry. And, you know, just working through it. Getting -- getting passed it. And knowing it`s a -- it can be a longer process than -- than hoped for.
HAMMER: Justin`s had a pretty delicate time in his life, both you know, in life as a teenager, but also in terms of his career. And I know how important your support has been to him. But his support of you has been really crucial, as well. And I love what he wrote in the forward to your book. And the book, by the way, is so inspiring.
MALLETTE: Thank you.
HAMMER: May I read his words to you?
MALLETTE: Yes, please.
HAMMER: Justin said, "My mom is the strongest woman I`ve ever met. My mom inspires me to be a good man, and she is always pushing me to be better." That`s pretty incredible. You know, more than his success, when you hear those words coming from your son, you have to think, "Wow, I did it right. I actually did OK."
MALLETTE: Sure. I love hearing, you know, just words of affirmation from him, and he just wrote that song, "Turn to You," for my birthday, released it on Mother`s Day. Did you hear it?
HAMMER: Yes. I did hear it. Right. And for you, the idea that he`s this big global superstar, that doesn`t even come into play...
MALLETTE: He`s Justin, I changed his diapers.
HAMMER: When he writes a song like that for you...
MALLETTE: Yes.
HAMMER: ... he`s your kid. That has to be the most amazing feeling.
MALLETTE: It is.
HAMMER: You know, we talk about troubled teen stars. Lindsay Lohan obviously immediately comes to mind. And then we think of Dina Lohan, who has had an active role in Lindsay`s life. What`s actually really interesting to me is the similarities between Lindsay and your family aren`t with Justin, are they? You sort of have more in common with her in the troubled experience you had when you were her age.
MALLETTE: Yes, it`s funny, like, I don`t know Lindsay, but I love her. Like, I have such a heart for her. And yes, I`ve been through a lot of that kind of -- those kind of struggles. And so I can identify.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
HAMMER: That`s something you don`t hear all that often. And tonight Lindsay Lohan`s mom, Dina, reportedly wants a do-over with Dr. Phil. This is after that bizarre interview that she gave him.
That possible Dina Lohan/Dr. Phil rematch No. 3 on our "SHOWBIZ Countdown," "True Confessions."
From Hollywood, I want to bring back Darren McMullen, who`s the host of Australia`s "The Voice," and entertainment reporter Rachel Zalis is with us. So guys, in that now-infamous interview that Dina Lohan gave Dr. Phil, the doc asked Dina about her daughter Lindsay. Ii think that`s pretty fair. But watch how defensive and strange her response was. She really created some pretty unforgettable YouTube moments here. Let`s just check this out.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
DR. PHIL MCGRAW, TALK SHOW HOST: You started out by saying...
DINA LOHAN, LINDSAY`S MOTHER: But I`m certainly being scrutinized by you people. I mean, media. So...
MCGRAW: "You people"?
LOHAN: I mean that hypothetically...
MCGRAW: I`m...
LOHAN: Hypothetically. Not you personally...
MCGRAW: I`m "you people" media.
LOHAN: No, I know what you`re saying, but you know what I`m saying.
MCGRAW: I don`t know at all what you`re saying. I`m not the media.
LOHAN: You so do.
MCGRAW: Dina, I`m a highly-trained professional. I know how to interview people. I`m not bashful about saying that. I`ve been in this profession for 35 years.
LOHAN: I don`t mean to, like, call you on your -- I`ve just been so interviewed, so much that -- I`m a little guarded.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
VELEZ-MITCHELL: All right, Darren, look, Dina Lohan, certainly no stranger to the public eye, and as she said, she`s done lots of interviews, so I don`t really get that she claims she was taken off guard by questions about Lindsay`s addiction problems. Do you think she deserves a do-over, or does this interview just need to stand by itself?
MCMULLEN: Quit while you`re behind. If she`s a glutton for punishment, maybe she should do a do-over. But, you know, I was torn with this one, because when I heard about the interview, I was like, oh, please don`t give these people breath. You know, there`s wonderful, inspiring people out there that should be on the front covers of our magazine, like that lovely little Korean chap that does the horsey dance, for example, but not these people.
But then when I saw Dr. Phil`s interview, I felt he was a little bit mean. And he goes on there about being a professional and working in the industry for "X" amount of years. He`s clearly got a disturbed woman with him there that maybe shouldn`t have been on tape and being filmed. And he`s pushing her and he`s being a little horrible to her. So I think he came off as a little bit of a jerk in that interview.
HAMMER: That`s...
MCMULLEN: She was -- yes.
HAMMER: Well, she did seem blindsided. I just still don`t get why she felt blindsided at all. Don`t get it at all.
As big as those confessions were, I still can`t believe we haven`t revealed No. 1 in our "SHOWBIZ Countdown," "True Confessions." But I am telling you right now, our No. 1 story tonight, a true shocker. So Darren, Rachel, stay right there.
And we move now from train wreck TV to a TV icon that we can never get enough of. Carol Burnett. Her legendary show ran for 11 seasons. It still remains one of the most loved TV shows of all time. Tonight we present "Best Burnett Ever."
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BURNETT: What brings you to Tara?
HARVEY KORMAN, ACTOR: You, you vixen, you. Scarlett, I love you. That -- that gown is gorgeous.
BURNETT: Thank you. I saw it in the window, and I just couldn`t resist it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: Such a classic moment. And where did that gown come from? Well, coming up, it`s a special "SHOWBIZ Countdown," "Best Burnett Ever." I can`t wait. We are counting down our top ten favorite moments from "The Carol Burnett Show." And look at this: the cast is right here, Carol Burnett, Vicki Lawrence, and Tim Conway. This is going to be a blast.
Also some big news from Bethenny Frankel tonight that`s going to give everyone something to talk about.
This is SHOWBIZ TONIGHT on HLN.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
HAMMER: Bethenny Frankel, the new queen of all media? Well, the former "Real Housewife of New York," author, and entrepreneur now has a new full-time gig as a talk show host. The talk show "Bethenny" had a short run over the summer. It was a hit, so now it`s going to be added to the daytime lineup on FOX TV stations around the country next year.
Coming up next, the "SHOWBIZ Countdown" continues. Will Arnold Schwarzenegger`s affair tell-all top today`s top five "True Confessions"?
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DEMI LOVATO, POP STAR: When I started to have body image issues, I remember being 3 years old.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: Wow. That`s pop star Demi Lovato coming in at No. 2 on our "SHOWBIZ Countdown," "True Confessions." "The X Factor" judge just sat down with Katie Couric today, opening up about her struggles with body issues from early on and how she finally took control.
And I`m thinking with her new place in the spotlight now and these candid confessions, Demi will definitely help change a lot of lives. Watch what she told Katie about how she even faced nearly unbearable bullying.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
LOVATO: People, I think, don`t realize how badly that verbal harassment and cyber bullying affects you. It played more of a toll on me than if I was physically abused in school. I kind of always said I wished that they had just hit me in the face and gotten it over with, because what they said to me, it sticks with me to this day.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: Nice going, Demi. I give her a lot of credit for sharing her story. We are, of course, wishing her the very best.
Now it is time for us to reveal on the "SHOWBIZ Countdown," "True Confessions," No. 1. Arnold Schwarzenegger`s bombshell new love-child revelation in an all-new tell-all book. SHOWBIZ TONIGHT with a first look at the book`s trailer.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, FORMER GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA: If my life was a movie, no one would believe it. The directions I`ve chosen, the careers I have conquered.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: For the very first time, Schwarzenegger is revealing how he says soon-to-be ex-wife Maria Shriver blindsided and ultimately confronted him over his secret son.
But tonight, with Schwarzenegger`s new confessions, SHOWBIZ dares to ask, should he have taken a chapter from his movie career and terminated this tell-all chapter in his book?
Here`s Darren McMullen and Rachel Zalis joining me from Hollywood tonight.
And Rachel, I find this pretty shocking. Obviously, it covers a lot of ground in this book. And people may be interested in this particular part of his life, but what do you think Arnold has to gain by sharing even more of this story behind the family scandal?
ZALIS: I mean, obviously his reputation was damaged a lot through this scandal, but I can`t believe he even says in the book that he was blindsided. I mean, can you imagine how Maria Shriver felt? It`s kind of crazy. I mean, I can only imagine what else he`s going to put in this book, but I think he`s trying to create some sort of damage control and tell his side of the story before more things really start coming out, which I`m sure there are plenty more.
HAMMER: Yes. That was the impression that I got, as well.
The book`s coming out on October 1, so we`ll get to see everything that`s in it. But we do know that Schwarzenegger reportedly shares some very specific details about that big moment when Shriver confronted him in a couples therapy session.
Here`s one of the things he reportedly says in the book: "The minute we sat down, the therapist said to me and said, `Maria wanted to come here today and to ask about a child, whether you fathered a child with your housekeeper, Mildred.` I told the therapist, `It`s true`." Wow. All right. Darren, what do you think? Did he just -- I don`t know -- need to set the record straight to somehow try and help his image moving forward? What do you think is behind the tell-all?
MCMULLEN: I think he wants to -- I think he wants to sell more books. I just don`t understand what is with people. When are they going to get it? You know, having an affair is terrible and horrendous, but if you`re going to do it, as my old granny said, you don`t crap where you sleep. You know, stay away from housekeepers, nannies and pool boys. It`s ridiculous. I mean, as disrespectful as it is, cheating on your partner, never mind doing it with someone who`s an honorary member of the family, is going to be hanging around your kids for the next "X" amount of years. So it`s crazy. I don`t know what that guy`s worse at, acting, governing, or being a husband. Probably the middle, living in L.A.
HAMMER: Yes. I -- OK, I`ll give you that, because you live out there. From where I sit, the husband thing. That didn`t go so well.
I mean, do you see in any way, Rachel, how making a confession like this will make people who are so turned off by his behavior perhaps even like him a little bit once again?
ZALIS: I don`t think so. I mean, basically, from the way he`s writing it, and the perspective, I just don`t think he`s very likable. And then saying he didn`t even realize it was his son until later on in life when saw the resemblance. I think the second that kid opened his mouth and said, "Daddy," he had to have known it was his kid. Come on.
HAMMER: We`ll see if it helps Arnold at all. And if the book sells.
Darren McMullen, Rachel Zalis, thank you both for being here tonight. I appreciate it.
MCMULLEN: Thank you.
HAMMER: We move on from all of that drama to comedy legends tonight. It`s a special SHOWBIZ Countdown. I can`t wait to get to this. Our top five favorite moments from "The Carol Burnett Show."
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
VICKI LAWRENCE, ACTRESS: You are really nuts. You know? One of these days they`re going to come over here and lock you up.
BURNETT: Oh, lay off of me, will you?
LAWRENCE: You ain`t playing with a full deck, Eunice.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: "The Best Burnett Ever." No matter how old you are, you`ve got to have a favorite. And we are counting down our top five with the comedy icons tonight. I can`t believe they`re here. Carol Burnett, Vicki Lawrence, and Tim Conway joining me for a very special "SHOWBIZ Countdown."
This is SHOWBIZ TONIGHT on HLN.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JON CRYER, ACTOR: These things are heavy. There`s a reason everybody says that. It`s because it`s true. But also, at the moment you win one of these things, you`re so stunned that even the envelope is heavy.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: SHOWBIZ TONIGHT caught up with a very excited and apparently very weak Jon Cryer just moments after his first lead actor win for "Two and a Half Men."
Now, Jon had won for best supporting actor back in 2009. That`s when Charlie Sheen was still with the show.
Well, that was then and this is now. Jon`s big win really seems kind of like the ultimate validation that life after Charlie just didn`t skip a beat. The show is also entering its tenth season. Think about it, only a few shows have entered that territory, like "Friends" and "Cheers."
Well, I just sat down with Jon, and he revealed to me why "Two and a Half Men" 2.0 has the right stuff to last for seasons to come.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CRYER: Coming in last year, we were under this incredible microscope. You know, there was so much drama that the pressure was just enormous.
And this year, what`s great is, we just want to make good shows, you know? We just want it to be funny. And that`s actually easier now, because they know Ashton, the writers know Ashton, the audience knows Ashton, I know Ashton. And, you know, we`re able to play off of each other even more.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: They really do such a great show. And even with an Emmy- winning hit TV show, for some, you know, Jon will always be known as Ducky from the iconic movie "Pretty in Pink." It was one of the John Hughes classics that defined Generation X. So would Jon ever consider reuniting with Molly Ringwald for a sequel? Here`s what he told us.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CRYER: I`ve spoken with Molly about this, and we have very different ideas on where the characters would end up. And like Molly was saying, "I think by now Ducky would have come out of the closet" And I was like, "OK, flag on the play."
HAMMER: That wasn`t your interpretation.
CRYER: I was pretty sure he wasn`t in the closet, actually. So, you know -- and, obviously, since John Hughes has passed, the only person with any real authority to do it would have been him.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: Well, there you go. Such a cool guy. Don`t miss the season premiere of "Two and a Half Men" Thursday on CBS.
Now, coming up at the bottom of the hour, I cannot wait. It`s a SHOWBIZ Countdown with the cast of "The Carol Burnett Show."
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BURNETT: What brings you to Tara?
KORMAN: You, you vixen, you. Scarlett, I love you. That -- that -- that gown is gorgeous.
BURNETT: Thank you. I saw it in the window, and I just couldn`t resist it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: There was nothing like it then, and it is still the comedy gold standard for TV shows now. Tonight we`re counting down our top favorite moments from "The Carol Burnett Show," "Best Burnett Ever," doing it with the cast: Carol, Vicki and Tim Conway, all right here with me next.
This is SHOWBIZ TONIGHT on HLN.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) BURNETT: What brings you to Tara?
KORMAN: You, you vixen, you. Scarlett, I love you. That -- that -- that gown is gorgeous.
BURNETT: Thank you. I saw it in the window, and I just couldn`t resist it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: Right now on a special edition of the "SHOWBIZ Countdown," the "Best Burnett Ever." The legendary cast of one of TV`s most iconic shows, "The Carol Burnett Show," is right here, including Carol Burnett, Tim Conway, and Vicki Lawrence. We are counting down our top 5 best Burnett moments ever in the "SHOWBIZ Countdown," with Carol and the whole gang, as SHOWBIZ TONIGHT continues right now.
Welcome back to "SHOWBIZ TONIGHT" and thank you for watching. I`m A.J. Hammer.
And you know, it is one of the classic comedy series of all-time. "The Carol Burnett show" ran for 11 years, racked up 25 Emmy awards, and obviously it gave us some of the most side-splitting moments in television history.
Well, now "SHOWBIZ TONIGHT" is counting down our top five favorite moments from "the Carol Burnett Show." And here to help us out, I am so honored to have the cast of that classic television series here with me now. I can`t even believe it. Tim Conway, Vicki Lawrence, and of course Carol Burnett right here in New York. And you can judge for yourself about these particular moments by picking this up.
Time life has released "the Carol Burnett show" collection on DVD with the supposed hand-picked by Carol herself. In fact, I just received my copy. I was just handed, and I just went out and bought a sharpie. If I do well, maybe I`ll get you to sign it. But it is so wonderful to have you here counting down with us tonight.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Thank you.
HAMMER: Let us begin our countdown, shall we?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: OK.
HAMMER: Let`s get to number five of our favorite moments from "the Carol Burnett show." It`s the no-frills airline. I remember this when it first aired.
Tim, you try to save a couple of bucks by taking an airplane ride, but boy do you ever pay the price.
TIM CONWAY, CAST, THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW: I still do.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Excuse me, are you in the no-frills section?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well then get your foot off our rug.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We`re expecting some very slight turbulence and I would like to suggest that you fasten your seat belts loosely. Thank you.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Maybe you better take the food back.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, no, no, that was just a precaution. The captain wouldn`t let us serve if it was anything serious, yes.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: And to this day, that is why I always try to sit in the front of the plane. I mean, how great, not only seeing these clips, but watching you guys laugh, no matter how many times you must have seen these before.
But Carol, sadly, quite a prophetic moment. This is what air travels about these days.
CAROL BURNETT, CAST, THE CAROL BURNETT: Yes, it is. I guess so.
HAMMER: I don`t know if turbulence only happens in the back of the plane. What made a sketch like that so funny to you?
BURNETT: The physicality of it and how this one just played it, you know, that`s what was so funny.
HAMMER: It was just magical like that too.
CONWAY: Well, I`m a natural athlete, so it wasn`t that difficult.
BURNETT: So it works.
HAMMER: So when you got thrown out the plane at the end of the sketch, you were ready for the task at hand.
BURNETT: Exactly.
HAMMER: It really was, though, lightning in a bottle, the three of you and rest of the cast. What made you guys so magical together, Vicki?
VICKI LAWRENCE, CAST, THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW: Oh, God, I don`t know. We just really lucked into an amazing chemistry. I mean, we were all really good friends. And I mean, I feel -- I was the child on the show. I feel like I got to go to the Harvard school of comedy in front of America, and just have the best teachers in the world. Hard not to learn just by osmosis.
CONWAY: To me, it was the salary. I think, you know, showing up and having a check.
BURNETT: You mean, we paid you?
CONWAY: Yes.
HAMMER: I`m sure you three are eager to see where we`re going in our countdown?
BURNETT: Oh, yes.
HAMMER: Should we move on?
CONWAY: Yes.
HAMMER: All right. Let`s get to number four on our countdown. It`s the best Burnett moments ever from "the Carol Burnett show" out on DVD now. And actually, the truth is pretty much anytime Vicki Lawrence would put on the wig and the pearls and transform herself into the tough-talking Thelma Harper well, better known as Mama of course, you knew the laughs were coming very loud and very quickly. Let`s watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You were really nuts, you know? Nuts. One of these days they`re going to come over here and lock you up.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Lay off of me, will you?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You are not pulling with a full deck, Eunice. I think somebody blew your pilot light out.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That`s a new one, mama.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You`re right, there`s more, Eunice. You know what? You got splinters in the windmills of your mind. You`re playing hockey with a warped puck.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: You know, I never knew what people enjoyed more from this show, the hilarious lines or watching you all crack each other up.
BURNETT: I never knew she was going to come up with a role like that. I had no idea. She just kept going and kept going. And honestly, people said there, you probably broke up on purpose or -- honest to God, we never did it on purpose.
LAWRENCE: NO, we would save surprises for each other.
HAMMER: And you could tell you weren`t forcing it. You were laughing. I mean, it was hilarious.
Why did people love Mama so much? Aside from, I think we all know our moms are right. But really, one of the most beloved characters and iconic characters in TV history.
LAWRENCE: And it actually was written for Carol. She didn`t want the part. She said Eunice spoke to her, and so she gave -- I say it`s yet another gift from Carol.
HAMMER: Could you ever imagine, 45 years ago when we first put the show on the air, here we would be in 2012 and we are laughing about it. And if my understanding of history is correct, you were actually a bit reluctant to even do the show.
BURNETT: No, I wasn`t, CBS was reluctant to put it on.
(LAUGHTER)
HAMMER: Well, didn`t they offer you a sitcom or this variety-type show?
BURNETT: They had to put the variety show on, because it was a contract that I had and they tried to talk me out of it by giving me a sitcom called, "here`s Agnes," can you imagine? And I said, no, I really -- all I know is variety and I want to have music and guest stars and a rep company and do sketches and, you know, all that.
HAMMER: And here we are all these years later, still laughing. How Brilliant is that?
All right. I need you, all three of you, please stay right where you are. We are actually going to seat belt you in, except for you, we are going to put a rope around you, you know like in the sketch.
Our special half-hour "showbiz countdown" best Burnett ever continues. We are up to our top three favorite moments from ""the Carol Burnett show"."
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: See, this elephant had this little dwarf trainer and --
(LAUGHER)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: She used to put a little ballerina skirt on that elephant.
(LAUGHTER)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There`s a rumor going around the circus that that dwarf and the elephant were lovers. The elephant squashed the dwarf.
(LAUGHTER)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Go, Mama.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You see that little (bleep)
(APPLAUSE)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: It`s the famous ad lib that literally had "the Carol Burnett show" cast on the floor in laughter.
We are counting down the top five best Burnett moments ever. Our top three, coming up next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
HAMMER: Welcome back to this very special edition of the showbiz countdown as we are counting down or top five best Burnett moments ever from ""the Carol Burnett show"" which is now available on DVD from Time Life.
Joining us, we are so thrilled to have Carol Burnett, Tim Conway and Vicki Lawrence. And we move on to number three on out countdown, the late Harvey comment just unbelievable in this thing rather unlucky patients, Tim Conway playing, shall we say a rather incompetent dentist who`s having a little trouble administering Novocain. Let`s watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I`ll just give you a little shot here. I`ll be right with you.
(LAUGHTER)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: Tim, I think about this every time I go to the dentist and I`m sure I`m not alone. The beauty is, you didn`t have to say a word.
CONWAY: That`s right.
BURNETT: And poor Harvey, he had not seen the Novocain bit until we were doing it.
HAMMER: Perfect.
BURNETT: When Tim was doing it. So he didn`t know what he was going to do. Harvey -- tell him what Harvey did.
CONWAY: Wet his pants.
BURNETT: Yes.
HAMMER: Literally?
BURNETT: He did.
HAMMER: He genuinely did.
CONWAY: Yes.
BURNETT: Genuinely did.
HAMMER: Wow. All right. Those pants available on e-bay or somewhere. I don`t know. Harvey, sadly, passed away in 2008.
BURNETT: I know.
HAMMER: But it really is immeasurable what he brought to the show. And people will see that when they watch these shows.
BURNETT: He is so brilliant. He is a consummate comedic actor. He could do everything. He could do all kinds of voices, all kinds of accents, all kinds of -- and he really prided himself on being so with it, you know. But the only time he ever really lost it when he was doing a sketch with Tim.
HAMMER: It`s a badge of honor you wear proudly, I`m sure.
CONWAY: And I do, yes.
HAMMER: Let`s keep this train rolling, shall we?
BURNETT: OK.
CONWAY: OK.
HAMMER: We`re continuing with our countdown of the best Burnett ever from ""the Carol Burnett show"."
Number two, a moment that didn`t actually air on the show, but thanks to blooper roles, you tube and the like, it is now one of the most popular moments in the show`s history. Tim, hard at work hijacking a Mama`s family sketch with a little adlibbed elephant story. The cast was just in stitches when this happened until of course, Vicki`s Mama got the last word. Let`s watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: See now, this elephant had this little dwarf trainer and he used to put a little ballerina skirt on that elephant. There`s a rumor going around the circus that that dwarf and the elephant were lovers. And the elephant squashed the dwarf.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Go, Mama.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Sure that little ant (bleep)?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: Now Vicki, I heard that before the sketch, Carol would say to everybody --
LAWRENCE: When he got written in --
HAMMER: Would say, focus!
LAWRENCE: When he got written into the family as Mickey Hart, we got the lecture from Carol, that how we will not break that fourth wall, we will be disciplined, I must really serious about it. And who`s the first to lose it? The first one.
And so, we do the dress rehearsal, and in between shows we used to have a little time to get a little snack, get your nose, get your make-up touch touched up. That night the director knocks on my door. He goes, I`ve got only one note, the elephant story will be different and good luck.
(LAUGHTER)
LAWRENCE: And I said to my husband, Al, who is the makeup man on the show, because he was sitting in the dressing room, he is sitting right there, I said, how does he get away with it? And Al looked at me and said, get him. And I think that`s when the monster was unleashed, that night.
(LAUGHTER)
HAMMER: And I would guess, if Carol starts laughing, all bets are off. It`s a green light.
BURNETT: Listen, he was looking at me, right in the face, in the eyes, and talking about this elephant. Nobody could keep a straight face.
HAMMER: Where did you come up with this story?
CONWAY: Well, the director said, just say elephant. We`re very long in this sketch. You know, we`re trying to tighten it up, just say elephant and get off. So I had to go into a couple of minutes about the elephant, for those who didn`t know the elephant was --
BURNETT: We had no idea he was going to do that.
CONWAY: Nor did it.
HAMMER: And if I remember how it worked correctly, you would tape the show twice, and basically, if this is the kind of thing that happened, it was going to wind up on the show.
CONWAY: Yes.
BURNETT: Yes.
HAMMER: It wasn`t as if you were going to redo it because everybody lost their cool.
BURNETT: It was gold. It was gold, because it was honest.
HAMMER: It was honest. And you could tell that and still feel that to this day. I have so much fun watching. I can`t even, believe I`m sitting here with the three of you fine people, watching these fine moments.
But please, I`m going to strap you to the chairs once again. We are going to check out our number one favorite moment from ""the Carol Burnett show." We reveal it next on our countdown, best Burnett ever.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
HAMMER: Tonight in the "showbiz countdown," we are counting down the best Burnett ever. Our top five favorite moments from ""the Carol Burnett show"" collection, which is out now on DVD from time life.
And look who I`m sitting with. Unbelievable to me. We are now at the moment that everybody has been waiting for, and really, it`s no surprise at all.
Carol and company, their big spoof of "Gone With The Wind" aptly titled "Went With The Wind." This is number one on our showbiz countdown.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What am I going to do? Captain Butler is coming over and he`s got money and I`ve got to get it and look at me. I look like the inside of a goat`s stomach.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Miss scarlet, the Yankees done stole all your clothes.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I know that, stupid.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Isn`t that captain butler`s carriage now?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, Lord, what am I going to do?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well, I got an idea, when he comes in, why don`t you hide behind the drapes.
(LAUGHTER)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Help me take these down! What brings you to Tara?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You, you vixen, you. Scarlet, I love you. That -- that -- that gown is gorgeous.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Thank you, I saw it in the window and I just couldn`t resist it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMER: How do you go wrong wearing a curtain and a curtain rod.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well, I have to say that that being number one, we have to give credit to our costume designer. It was not planned to be the curtain rod.
HAMMER: No?
BURNETT: No, I was just supposed to come down with the curtain kind of hanging, which would have been OK, but when I went into costume fittings that week, Bob Mackey said, I have an idea that might be more fun for that drapery dress. Come here. And he -- I went into the fitting room and there it was, on the curtain rod -- and I fell on the floor --
HAMMER: You must have just started laughing.
BURNETT: I said, this is going to be the greatest sight gag I`ve ever seen.
HAMMER: And I think it`s wild for a lot of people hearing that Bob Mackey was your costume designer.
BURNETT: He designed everything that all of us wore, sometimes went up to almost 70 costumes a week, he designed.
HAMMER: Unbelievable. Watching Carol walk out and then fall down the stairs like that probably never gets old, does it?
CONWAY: No.
LAWRENCE: It doesn`t.
CONWAY: We pushed her down once in a while, just to --
BURNETT: And my neck still talks to me to this day.
HAMMER: One of the most fascinating parts sitting with the three of you right now watching these sketches together is again, I said this when we are starting out, as many times as you have seen them, it`s remarkable to me, you`re not only laughing me, but turning to each other as if you`re seeing a knew a nuance for the first time or remembering --
BURNETT: Maybe we are!
LAWRENCE: Maybe.
CONWAY: Yes.
HAMMER: It is just amazing. All right.
Well, it`s been great fun sharing these clips with you, but I`m not going to let you go just yet. Because I need to know, were the show around today, if there is anybody in particular you would be very eager to spoof. You think about that. Don`t move. Stay right where you are, we`ll get your final thoughts as we continue with the legendary cast of ""the Carol Burnett show," coming up next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
HAMMER: Well, I`m exhausted.
We have just counted down our top five moments ever from "the Carol Burnett show" with Carol Burnett, Tim Conway, Vicki Lawrence. Time life has just released "the Carol Burnett show" on DVD, which is so terrific you`ve put it together, your favorite moments.
Now, were you around today as a show, there`s such great fodder for you out there. What in particular would you like to spoof? Because you guys always classically spoofed what was current at the time.
BURNETT: What would we like to spoof? The Kardashians.
HAMMER: I imagine they would give you a little bit of material.
All right, what we would like to see that actually. Can you put us on the spot and just get the sense of how that might go?
BURNETT: It`s going to be the Kardashians when they are really old.
HAMMER: Actually, I was also thinking "Jersey Shore" would be great fodder for you guys.
LAWRENCE: Snooki!
HAMMER: No, no, the situation. Flash your abs to everybody.
Tim, is there any show that`s on the there today that you think even comes close to doing what you do? Certainly, "Saturday Night Live" might come to mind, but I don`t think there`s anything out there that does what you --
CONWAY: I don`t think either. I think the test pattern would come to about as close to what we were --
BURNETT: Do they still show that?
CONWAY: No, I don`t think there`s anything in that vein.
BURNETT: Because it couldn`t be done, I don`t think today, because of the money involved. We had a 28-piece orchestra, maybe 70 costumes a week, guest stars, a rep company.
LAWRENCE: Just one of your gowns now would cost --
BURNETT: What would that cost? Just one.
CONWAY: Tim`s salary alone, I would imagine. The demands that you would make.
BURNETT: Well, we gave them car fare and lunch money.
CONWAY: I would be a holdout. No question about it. Yes.
HAMMER: Send him on his way. And now he`s going to be on the corner pedaling DVDs. And it`s all working out. But it is clearly, to me, sitting with this half hour with you guys, nothing but fond memories.
BURNETT: Thank you.
CONWAY: Thank you very much.
LAWRENCE: Very fond.
CONWAY: Delightful being here.
HAMMER: It`s been extraordinary for me having the three of you here.
CONWAY: I`m going to come in every day.
HAMMER: Yes. Would you, please? I can use all the help I can get, Tim.
Seriously, Vicki, Tim, Carol Burnett, what a pleasure. I`m going to encourage everybody to go out and pick this up as soon as you can, the incredible "Carol Burnett Show," the whole collection is available on DVD. And maybe one day, I will convince you guys to come back and hang out sometime.
CONWAY: Terrific.
BURNETT: Thank you, A.J..
CONWAY: Thank you.
HAMMER: That is it for "SHOWBIZ TONIGHT." Be sure to tune in tomorrow when former ER star, Maura Tierney tells us about her incredible battle with breast cancer.
HLN continues right now.
END
