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Returning to School after Connecticut Shooting; Blaming Tragedy on Godless Society; NFL Tributes to the Victims

Aired December 17, 2012 - 10:30   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

CAROL COSTELLO, CNN ANCHOR: We're all looking for answers after Newtown. Some people believe tragedies like Sandy Hook are a direct result of removing God from our society. Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee said as much.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

FMR. GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE (R), ARKANSAS: We ask why there's violence in our schools. But we have systematically removed God from our schools. Should we be so surprised that schools would become place of carnage because we've made it a place where we don't want to talk about eternity, life, what -- what responsibility means.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

COSTELLO: So let's talk about that with Father Thomas Reese, he's a senior fellow at the Woodstock Theological Seminary at Georgetown University. Thank you, Father for being with us today.

FATHER THOMAS REESE, AUTHOR, "INSIDE THE VATICAN": Thank you.

COSTELLO: I'm going to ask you the big question first. Why does God allow these things to happen?

REESE: Well, that's -- if I knew, could answer that in a simple sound bite, I would be a genius. This is an issue that people have been struggling with for centuries. All religious believers struggle with this question. I think part of it is what we think about God. Do we see God as this abstract being that is in control, micro manages the universe? I mean, the God of the Greek philosophers?

Or do we look at the God that's portrayed in scriptures where we see a God of compassion. A God that, you know, sometimes doesn't get what he wants. And bad things happen and he -- weeps over it. He weeps over what happens to his children.

This is the God for me. The God that Jesus showed us. A God who is suffering, a God who is compassionate towards his friends, who wept when Lazarus died. This is -- this is the kind of God for me and not this God who micro manages the universe and is in control of everything. In fact he doesn't always get his way and that's when these kinds of tragedies happen. COSTELLO: But let's go back to what Governor Huckabee said. He said removing God from our public schools and society in general, that's to blame for the evil that happens in this world. Do you agree?

REESE: Well -- as a Catholic priest, I obviously believe in the importance of having religion and God in schools. That's why we have Catholic schools. But to think that somehow magically that will solve the problems of violence and bullying or will somehow cure people who have mental diseases and disorders or will somehow deal, you know, take care of dysfunctional families, I mean, that's -- that's totally absurd.

And it also misses the point that, you know, how do we talk about God and religion in public schools, in a pluralistic society where there's lots of disagreement? I mean, it's interesting, over -- almost 50 years ago, in 1963, when the Supreme Court said that public schools should not promote devotion, should not be having prayers, it said we should teach about religion.

And we've been, you know, we had lots of conversations among religious leaders about how to do that and how to do that in a constitutional way. Because we immediate to know more about religion.

COSTELLO: And then, you know, another question I have been wonder being. When people talk about personal liberty, they always say God and guns as if God and guns are synonymous, are equal. Where does that come from?

REESE: Well I mean, I think -- you know, we have liberty but we also have responsibility. With -- with freedom comes responsibility. And as -- as a nation, I mean I personally think, you know, why do we immediate assault rifles? We don't immediate them to shoot deer. We don't need these weapons that are weapons from war as sports weapons. I think we should deal with this in a rational way.

And, you know, but it -- it's all of these things. It's dealing with mental disorders. It's dealing with the amount of weapons that are out there in society. It's dealing with dysfunctional families. All of these kinds of things need to be, you know, part of the solution.

But you know, again, you know, the freedom we have is also the freedom to reject God and to -- and to sin and to do violent acts and that's part of the human condition also.

COSTELLO: Father Thomas Reese, thank you so much important being with us this morning. I could talk to you all day. Thank you so much.

REESE: You're welcome, thank you.

COSTELLO: We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

DON LEMON, CNN CORRESPONDENT: A town and a nation in mourning. But at the same time, a few families here in Newtown are overwhelmed with grief and gratitude. This couple had two children inside of the school and they both made it out alive. The Licatas say their son Aiden ran past the shooter and escaped. But now the couple is grappling with the challenge of telling him his teacher is gone.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DIANE LICATA, MOTHER OF FIRST GRADER WHO ESCAPED: He's reassuring himself that she is going to be OK. He really, really, really cared about his teacher. He was very close with her. She really loved them. And he keeps saying I really hope she's OK. I hope it is not her. He knows that she's been hurt but doesn't know the end result. He knows the kids that he saw getting shot, he doesn't know the outcome.

So I think he's reassuring himself in his 6-year-old mind, I know he is processing it, but -- I think he is reassuring himself. I think he's telling himself that it's going to be OK.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

LEMON: Well Aiden's teacher was Victoria Soto who placed herself in front of her students before the gunman shot her. 27 years old.

So how do you talk to any child who has been traumatized? How do you talk to them?

Let's ask a psychologist, Wendy Walsh. She joins us now from Los Angeles. Wendy good morning to you.

WENDY WALSH, PSYCHOLOGIST: Hi, Don.

LEMON: Where do you begin?

WALSH: Well, you begin, of course, by doing the -- the obvious physical things, which is keep them safe in their surroundings, as safe and normal as possible. Letting them have free play. Letting them play in a familiar surroundings in their home and you let them lead.

Now remember, kids aren't verbal. They are not going to suddenly turn did and go mom, I have fears at night and some slight panic attack so I may need an anti-anxiety drug no they don't say that. They -- you will watch how they play with their toys, you will watch how they do artwork.

Remember, children are less verbal than adults when expressing things you have to give them all of the tools possible. And it's got to be about gentle reassurance and the most important piece is that parents have to contain themselves, Don, because if we're -- you know, sobbing in a pool of tears, that's the cue to them that they should be feeling more distressed than they are.

So it's really important the parents contain themselves.

LEMON: Wendy how do -- how does a parent especially the parents here say -- if a kid says mommy, is Bobby going to come back? Or what do I do with Jane's Christmas present? I went and bought it and she's not here. I mean, how do you -- what do you do in that particular situation?

WALSH: Every family is different in how they explain death to a child. And depending on the age of the child, they may only have a slight ability to understand really what death is and what permanent is. If they're under the age of six it's very difficult for them to understand.

So parents are going to have to think, you know these are -- these are the really prickly times of parenthood where you have to explain death to your child. And death of someone is who very close, maybe even a family member, can be very, very difficult.

Don, as you know, I have two daughters myself. I had to explain this to them. I'm -- I'm following the large group on Twitter that are doing 20 acts of kindness as a family, as a way to honor the spirits of each of the 20 children who died.

So therefore, yesterday we bought some things for foster children for Christmas. We made a toiletry kit for a homeless man. We did a -- food drive and donate to a food bank. So we've got three down and we've got 17 more to do. But this is a way to allow my children to grieve and to take positive steps at the same time toward healing.

LEMON: Yes. I have to say and I'm sure, you know, these are remarkable parents, Wendy, but it would be hard to be -- I would imagine a good parent and take care of your child when you are trying to take care of yourself, no parent wants to lose a child. So how - how do you balance that as a parent?

WALSH: Look, right now most of those parents are still in complete shock, Don. This trauma is going to work its way through their body and through their brain and in many different ways. The thing about post-traumatic stress disorder, whether it's in the children or the parent or anyone who witnessed or even people watching it on TV, it's for everybody, it is different.

Some people become very active. They take to Facebook and Twitter and try to solve problems. And -- and that gun control law. Other people get very distracted they try to avoid the feelings and get busy doing a lot of other things. Some other people, the lucky artists in the world, can create some very provocative, compassionate art.

We all deal with trauma in different ways. And it's really important to remember that because of neuro plasticity children's brains can heal very well. Not all of these children are going to have post- traumatic stress disorder. And in fact many of them may heal very well maybe even easier than the parents and the adults.

So we don't know what the outcome is going to be in the short term, though, we want to be calm, reassuring, and loving.

LEMON: You're absolutely right. When I was younger, it was much easier to get over things. Now you realize that, you know, life is short. And it's tougher sometimes to really get over it. And you realize someone is never coming back as an adult. Thank you, Dr. Wendy, we appreciate it. WALSH: Thanks.

LEMON: We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

COSTELLO: Today will not be an easy day in the classroom. Across the country, students return to school as parents worry about their safety. Casey Wian is in Phoenix and I know Casey you spoke with several parents who were taking their children to school this morning. What did they tell you?

CASEY WIAN, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Yes, Carol. I'm actually at Sandra Day O'Connor elementary school in Mesa, Arizona just outside of Phoenix. There was a lot of concern by parents who are bringing their kids to school today. The first day of school after that tragedy in Connecticut.

This is a very middle-class community. It is also a community that's not that far away just a year ago from Tucson where a mass shooting happened. Six people killed. Congresswoman Giffords injured.

So these folks have some experience with these mass shootings. We asked them what their thoughts are on gun control. And just like the rest of the nation, parents here are very divided.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANA CASTAWAY, MOTHER: There should be more gun control, yes.

WIAN: Why do you think that?

CASTAWAY: Well, you know, guns are -- guns are in the wrong hands, very dangerous.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Guns don't kill people. People kill people.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Definitely there should be a gun control issue. Should be no guns out there. Lot of crazy people don't know how to handle guns.

GEORGE MONTENEGRO, FATHER: I don't think that taking guns out of civilians who are good contributing members of society are the answer.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WIAN: And that father you heard there, Matthew Plant, he's actually an assistant pastor at a local church. And he says the answer, he believes, is that more people should be armed. And that's something that you hear a lot from gun advocates here in Arizona and in other places. That if that teacher or school officials in Connecticut were armed, that maybe so many children would not have been killed.

We also talked to the principal at this school about any security measures that he may be taking in the wake of what happened on Friday. He said nothing special but they did go through and review their security procedures here at the school, found some doors that maybe that were open that should have been locked. The parents we spoke with said they are not concerned about security here at this school today but they are very concerned about the issue of gun control nationally -- Carol.

COSTELLO: You talk about the desire for guns. I would -- I would think gun shows across the country, maybe they canceled some of them?

WIAN: Well, that's not exactly true. As a matter of fact, my colleague producer Sarah Weissfeld (ph) was at a gun show in Ventura, California, over the weekend. And we'll be bringing you a report that includes some of the folks who were attending that gun show a little bit later in the day on CNN. They were telling us that this was about as busy as they had ever seen that gun show. Obviously some of these gun enthusiasts and people who believe in gun ownership wanting to get their hands on more weapons because they fear that tighter gun control regulations are coming in the wake of the shooting -- Carol.

COSTELLO: Casey Wian reporting life from Arizona this morning.

We'll be back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

COSTELLO: Lot of you watched football this Sunday while the NFL marked the deaths of the Sandy Hook victims with a moment of silence before each game. I'm sure you saw. This is from Green Bay, Chicago.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: At this time please stand and join in a moment of silent reflection for the victims, their families, and loved ones.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

COSTELLO: But there were other much more touching tributes. Bleacher Report's Vince Cellini is here to tell us about Victor Cruz. I mean it just breaks your heart.

VINCE CELLINI, BLEACHER REPORT: I know. It is a heartbreaking story. You know, a couple of teams in close proximity to Newtown, the Giants and the Patriots offering tributes as well.

I want to start with a very poignant moment, though, that took place in St. Louis. This was prior to the Vikings/Rams game. You see the players in a giant circle. Inside the circle, the two head coaches and two number 26es from both teams holding hands in prayer, of course, representing the number of school victims.

Sunday night at Gillette Stadium in Foxborough, Massachusetts, it is the Patriots, New England's only NFL team, paying tribute by lighting 26 white flares. You see the black ribbon on the helmets. That's Wes Welker's helmet of the New England Patriots.

Newtown is roughly about 60 miles north of New York City and this is the story you are talking about, Carol. It involves the Giants. They wore the letters SHES on their helmets -- Sandy Hook Elementary School. The most personal tribute, it involved Giant wide-receiver Victor Cruz. The favorite player of one of the murdered children, 6- year-old Jack Pinto.

Cruz has been in contact with the Pinto family and he spoke following the game along with his head coach. Let's listen.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

VICTOR CRUZ, NFL PLAYER: They seem like a strong family. I spoke to -- spoke to the older brother and, you know, he was distraught as well. I just told them to stay strong and I'm going to do whatever I can to honor him.

TOM COUGHLIN, NEW YORK GIANTS' COACH: We felt terribly about it. I'm sure the whole nation does. It is not just us. But being close to home, it did -- the players were greatly upset about it. And -- many of the players have young children so they can empathize parents of the young children that were killed.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CELLINI: Jack Pinto's funeral is this afternoon. And according to Victor Cruz, the family is considering burying the child in Cruz's Jersey.

COSTELLO: So will Victor Cruz go to the funeral?

CELLINI: That's -- that was the plan. I would imagine if possible he is going to attend.

COSTELLO: Just really heartbreaking. It really is. We are all trying deal with it in our own way. Victor Cruz trying to deal with it in his way and maybe give, I don't know, some comfort to the family.

CELLINI: Right. And you know, athletes grieve like everyone else. This is their expression of that grief over the weekend.

COSTELLO: Vince Cellini, thanks so much.

CELLINI: Thank you.

COSTELLO: We will be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

COSTELLO: "Talk Back" question today a tough one. What can be done to prevent another Newtown?

This from Corey: "We need a ban on assault weapons and more restricted handgun use. No self-respecting hunter worth his salt needs an AK-47- type weapon nor does anyone for self protection."

This from Mario: "We need to have a physiological test for everyone that buys a gun. People that are unstable and have mental illness should be banned from getting guns." I think he meant psychological. Maybe I read that wrong.

This from Noreen: "Maybe we should be talking about all the violent video games our children are watching. They go on to these games, they start people start shooting people with the game. When they play these games they become numb to the value of real life."

This from Kathy: "We immediate better security at any location where we leave our children. Keep the classrooms separated from the administration. Maybe by secondary security doors, with swipe cards to open, enter and exit."

This from Nancy: "There were no assault rifles when the constitution was written and I can't imagine the writers intended to defend the right to bear guns that can now mow down hundreds of people down at a time."

This from Charisse: "A combination of addressing this nation's failed mental system and gun laws. While many states cut their funding of state mental institutions, society has to reap the repercussions for that."

Facebook.com/carolCNN. Thank, you so much for joining the conversation. More than a thousand of you responded today. Many more looked at the post. I really appreciate that. And I appreciate you for being with me today.

I'm Carol Costello. NEWSROOM continues right now with Ashleigh Banfield.