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Connecticut Victims Remembered; Dealing with the Loss

Aired December 17, 2012 - 15:00   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

ANNOUNCER: CNN's special live coverage continues from Newtown, Connecticut.

BROOKE BALDWIN, CNN ANCHOR: Top of the hour here, live on CNN. I'm Brooke Baldwin, in a very gray and rainy and cold Newtown, Connecticut, where today, the new reality is setting in.

Today, parents are living alongside an empty room if a child the lost. Left behind in that room, pajamas, favorite toys, books they had always read together, even the smell of their child's pillow.

Let's not forget the first responders here. They're being called heroes. But they are still living with the images no one could have prepared them to see. Today, families are deciding on coffins, deciding on headstones, choosing songs that will play at the funerals of first graders.

Let me tell you about two little boys here. These two little boys are being remembered right now in Newtown. The funeral for 6-year-old Jack Pinto started just a couple of hours ago. Jack will be laid to rest today in Newtown Village Cemetery. A mourner at Jack's funeral says people sang many hymns. The service emphasized a special message for children and reassuring them you're secure now, the worst is over. We're told little Jack adored football.

His favorite player was New York Giants receiver Victor Cruz. He watches Giants games while proudly wearing Cruz's jersey. Look at that cute cheek. Cruz paid tribute to his young fan by scribbling "Jack Pinto, my hero" on one cleat and "RIP Jack Pinto" on the other during his weekend game.

On his glove, Cruz wrote, "Jack Pinto, this one is for you."

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

VICTOR CRUZ, NEW YORK GIANTS: It was emotional. I was fighting back tears a little bit to do it. And it felt -- you know, it felt good. It felt good to honor a family that was going through so much. They seem look a strong family. I spoke to -- I also spoke to the older brother, and he was distraught as well.

He was -- he couldn't say much. He just said how his brother was -- I was his brother's favorite player. And he was, you know, he was fighting tears. He could barely speak to me.

(END VIDEO CLIP) BALDWIN: Also want to tell you about 6-year-old Noah Pozner. His funeral started just a couple of hours ago in nearby Monroe, Connecticut. His aunt says Noah sometimes batted his long eyelashes. He tried to get what he wanted with his eyelashes and he lit up everyone's heart.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

VICTORIA HALLER, AUNT: Noah was extremely lively. He was really the light of the room. He had a huge heart, and he was so much fun. A little bit rambunctious, lots of spirit. He loved playing with all of his cousins. He loved his twin the most of all, and always said that he was -- you know, that they were best friends.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BALDWIN: Noah's twin sister, Arielle, attended Sandy Hook Elementary School as well. But you see with her story, she was assigned to a different classroom than her brother. Arielle escaped the shooting, along with their 8-year-old sister, Sophia. Outside of Noah's funeral, well-wishers put two teddy bears, a bouquet of white flowers and a single red rose underneath an old maple tree.

Police in Connecticut, they are piecing together clues, trying to find out why, why Friday's shooting happened. A law enforcement official says smashed-up computers were found and grabbed from the home where the gunman lived. Investigators have now gathered up all the broken parts to examine them.

CNN has also learned that the shooter's mother here, her name was Nancy Lanza, she was planning to move. A close friend of hers says Lanza had told her -- quote -- "This would be her last winter in her current home."

And as we continue the conversation, talking about how these families here in Newtown are coping, I just want to also talk about the other folks who are struggling right now, the first responders. They were on the scene. They met these grieving parents in those moments of confusion and shock.

Just a short time ago, after I noticed some wreaths, some 26 wreaths being delivered here in town, one firefighter stopped and spoke with me.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BALDWIN: How many wreaths are there?

JEFFREY THOMAS, FIREFIGHTER: Twenty-six.

BALDWIN: Twenty-six wreaths. So where -- did they get sent to the firehouse?

THOMAS: They were sent to the firehouse through UPS.

BALDWIN: Did you know they were coming? THOMAS: No. No, they were -- the truck pulled up and she says, I have a delivery of 26 wreaths. We unloaded them all. We figured we would come up with a place to put them. Try to keep them all together and they got shipped all the way from Oregon.

BALDWIN: How long have you been here?

THOMAS: Since Friday.

BALDWIN: Where are you based out of?

THOMAS: The Sandy Hook Firehouse.

BALDWIN: How long have you been at the firehouse?

THOMAS: Well, we're going home tonight to sleep, but...

BALDWIN: Years.

THOMAS: Years, since high school. I'm 38.

BALDWIN: Since high school. You're 38.

THOMAS: Yes.

BALDWIN: Did you ever in a million years think you would be experiencing this in your little town?

THOMAS: Nobody in this town ever would think that, yes.

BALDWIN: Where were you when you heard?

THOMAS: Working. I work across town. We saw the helicopters.

BALDWIN: When you saw the helicopters, what did you think it was?

THOMAS: Not on the scale it was. One or two. We heard the principal at first, and as time went on, we got the reports. We just didn't believe it. We came down the road. It was just all surreal. Seeing all the cars. All this, it's tough.

BALDWIN: Where did you go once you saw the cars? Straight to the firehouse?

THOMAS: Yes, straight to the firehouse. And from there we just -- haven't left.

BALDWIN: Help us around the world understand what you as a first- responder are going through.

THOMAS: Sadness, anger, guilt in some aspects.

BALDWIN: Why guilt? What could you have done?

THOMAS: Exactly. I mean, we're having counseling as a group.

BALDWIN: Can I get your first and last name?

THOMAS: Name's Jeffrey Thomas.

BALDWIN: Jeffrey Thomas? Since high school.

THOMAS: Since high school.

BALDWIN: Just finally, what do you make of the wreaths, just people you don't know sending you all these wreaths to put up in your town? What would you say to the people of Portland, Oregon?

THOMAS: Thank you. It makes us feel warm to know that this is -- it is amazing that people that far away care about us.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BALDWIN: So many people I know care about these people in the town of Newtown, Connecticut. So many issues that people are working through, in the aftermath here of this tragedy.

I want to bring in psychologist Wendy Walsh, who joins me from Los Angeles.

Wendy, I just want to begin with a point that that young firefighter brought up with me. It broke my heart to hear him say guilt, guilt as one of the emotions he's sort of coping with. How do they sort through these emotions in the days after the shooting?

WENDY WALSH, FAMILY THERAPIST: It is important to remember that survivor's guilt can hit anybody. It is really common, Brooke, in first-responders, but it is even common in all of us.

You know, when I ask people how are you feeling, even my friends and colleagues at CNN when I say how is it going, they say, well, it's terrible, but it's not as bad as those parents, like somehow it is not OK for us to feel as sad as those parents who have felt the loss. Obviously, their loss is more real. It will last a longer time, but this community grieving, we should all give ourselves time for.

It is really important that we allow ourselves time to grieve because that's where the healing work is done.

BALDWIN: Yes, you talk about survivor's guilt. We hear the stories of even parents here in Newtown whose children were in classrooms across the wall or little one played dead amidst the young folks who didn't make it.

And that person survived and these parents walking around sort of with heavy hearts, they feel guilty as well. But also just, Wendy, I know people all around the world, you know, I have family members, people have family members, they haven't had a dry eye in days. How do you advise them as they move forward?

WALSH: Well, you know, we all deal with this kind of emotional trauma in different ways. Some people need to be active. The extroverts in us take to the Facebook and the Twitter and find community there. Others need to distract themselves a little bit and you will say to yourself, why are they being so oblivious, don't they know what's going on and they will busy themselves with other things. That's why around funerals, there is a lot of food preparation and bringing of food because it sort of gives you something to do.

Still, other people will be numb for a while until a tidal wave of sadness may show up. Other people may just feel irritable and angry and not know why. You see those people coming out in the giant debate over gun control. Either side of the issue, they're quite angry right now. So these are all symptoms of the trauma.

And it is important to just sort of allow ourselves to have it for a time, but it is also really important to not act, think or talk out of a place from fear, a place of fear. It is important that we allow our behaviors to be governed by love and good acts and like the wreaths you just showed that were delivered obviously that helped the firefighters and helped the people in Portland, too.

BALDWIN: I always say it is the little things and it was pretty amazing watching the firefighters sort of hanging these wreaths around town and they knew someone, all the way across the country, cared enough about them and you can just tell it meant the world to them.

I want to ask you about something else. There was a pretty stunning piece, it was from "The Blue Review," it was published today in The Huffington Post, written by a mother, and it was titled, "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother," Adam Lanza, the shooter here in Newtown.

Her name is Liza Long. She talks about her bright but troubled 13- year-old son who at times has pulled a knife on her, threatened to kill her, threatened to kill himself. I just -- I want to quote her here.

She wrote: "No one wants to send a 13-year-old genius who loves 'Harry Potter' and his snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society with its stigma on mental illness and its broken health care system does not provide us with other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast food restaurant. A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say something must be done."

Wendy, how do you respond to that?

WALSH: You know, she's dead on. As the conversation has been about gun control, and that's a very valid conversation to be having in these times, I think the conversation about mental health reform is equally important here.

Parents, I think about the Arizona shooter, you know, who was exhibiting early signs of schizophrenia. He was over the age of 18, and once you're over the age of 18, nobody can make you go to a psychiatrist. Nobody can make you take your meds. Parents love their child, so the best thing they can do is give a roof over his head and food. And I think that that's the important thing is that we we're so focused on individual rights and freedoms and, of course, denying someone their freedom is a bad thing. And historically we had atrocities happen with locking people up because they had strange political beliefs like maybe women should have the vote or something in the '20s. It's important that we regulate it carefully, but we also need to give tools and access to parents of mentally ill children or mentally ill young adults, more importantly, because our only option is as parents is to keep them and feed them and deal with what they're dealing with, or to put them on the street as homeless, Brooke, I have heard as much as one-third of our prison population are actually suffer from mental illness and are not getting the help they need.

(CROSSTALK)

BALDWIN: That is precisely one of her points. She was talking about, what do I do? My child has to be charged with a criminal act in order for him or her to go to jail. There should be another option is her point. There should be another option and the conversation needs to be had in terms of mental illness in this country. We're having it today. It will continue.

Wendy Walsh, thank you so much.

(CROSSTALK)

BALDWIN: Something to be thinking about here as we move forward.

For more information, I know a lot of you are reaching out, asking how you can help those affected here in Newtown. Go to CNN.com/impact. Again, CNN.com/impact and there are multiple ways where you can help, you can give, et cetera.

Coming up, we will take you into the streets of Newtown including the firehouse, the firehouse where all those parents first heard the news Friday morning and we will show you the funeral home. It is absolutely overwhelmed right now. Plus, we should tell you, take a look at this live picture, the governor here of the state of Connecticut, Dan Malloy, he will be holding a news conference at the bottom of the hour.

As soon as we see the governor, we will bring that to you live, live special here from Newtown, Connecticut.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BALDWIN: Teachers are oftentimes hailed as heroes, but Friday the teachers of Sandy Hook really lived up to the word in a way no teacher ever should have to.

Last night, Anderson Cooper here in Newtown spoke with Janet Vollmer, who read to her class of 5-year-old children as this massacre was taking place somewhere beyond her classroom door. They were at Sandy Hook. Vollmer said about a month or so ago her class had just practiced an emergency drill and then Friday she heard the loudspeaker, she heard these noises, and she knew things were not right.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JANET VOLLMER, TEACHER: So there were noises that didn't sound correct. So there was no anyone telling us that it was a drill, we just thought something was not right.

We sat in the cubby area away from the door so no one could see us and read them a story, talked to them. You know, they kept saying how come we're here for so long? I said, well, it will be a little longer. They're 5, you tell them whatever you do to keep them safe and keep them calm.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN ANCHOR: This is what I have been thinking about all weekend, though. The courage for you to be able to sit there and read a story, and keep them calm...

(CROSSTALK)

VOLLMER: I think the adrenaline kicks in and you do what you have to do. There was two other people in the room helping me with, you know, pulling down the blinds and that. I was focused on the kids and just keeping them safe.

I'm not about to tell them I think something is very bad or very wrong. We waited and waited. And it seemed like a very long time, and maybe it was 20 minutes, a half-an-hour, I'm not sure. There were knocks at the door. It was police, someone telling us we had to leave. Didn't want to open the door at first. But we did. And they said, have the children walk, hold hands, cover their eyes if they could, because -- he didn't say why. He just said have them cover their eyes.

At 5, covering your eyes and walking isn't so easy. I had them look towards the wall and we went down the hall and out of the building and we got on the sidewalk and I said, boys and girls, remember the adventure we had, we all walked to the firehouse? We're going to do that now again.

COOPER: But how are you holding up now?

VOLLMER: How am I holding up now?

COOPER: You knew a lot of these kids.

VOLLMER: I knew 10 of them.

(CROSSTALK)

COOPER: You knew 10 of these children?

VOLLMER: And 10 of the children were in my class last year.

COOPER: Ten of the kids who are dead?

VOLLMER: Ten of the kids who are dead now.

When I heard the names, it is tough. It's tough. I was wanting to attend some of the services. I'm sure some families want privacy. There is a few children who I have had, not just them. I have had their siblings, and in one case I have had all three. So their families were close. At Sandy Hook school, we're a tight-knit group. And we know and I live in the community also.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BALDWIN: You know, something else Janet Vollmer pointed out? She said the students need to come back to school. They need to. At this point, they are excused though until further notice.

And 20 of the lives lost here in the Connecticut school shooting, they were children, just 6- or 7-year-olds. And during last night's vigil at the high school, President Obama, he read each and every one of their names. Take a look.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: "Let the little children come to me," Jesus said, "and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven."

Charlotte, Daniel, Olivia, Josephine, Ana, Dylan, Madeline, Catherine, Chase, Jesse, James, Grace, Emilie, Jack, Noah, Caroline, Jessica, Benjamin, Avielle, Allison, God has called them all home.

For those of us who remain, let us find the strength to carry on and make our country worthy of their memory.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BALDWIN: I'm Brooke Baldwin live in Newtown, Connecticut. We will have much more from here in just a moment.

But, first, John Berman is in New York with some of the other stories of the day.

Hey, John.

JOHN BERMAN, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Hey, Brooke.

We have a big story coming out of the White House right now. The president met again today with House Speaker John Boehner after Boehner made two apparent concessions toward averting the so-called fiscal cliff. The meeting this time was about 45 minutes long. Over the weekend, the speaker proposed raising tax rates on those making over $1 million a year. CNN also learned that he's proposing a one- year extension of the government's borrowing limit and that could avert yet another ugly debt ceiling debate.

A congressional source tells us in exchange, Speaker Boehner is pushing for a trillion dollars in spending cuts, including to Medicare, which the White House has opposed. As for now, the president is holding fast to his desire to raise tax rates on incomes beginning at $250,000.

Overseas now, a veteran Syrian statesman who was rumored last summer to have defected today is proposing a peaceful end to his country's civil war. He's saying government forces can't win and neither can the rebels. We will have the story now from London.

Here's CNN's Nic Robertson.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

NIC ROBERTSON, CNN SENIOR INTERNATIONAL CORRESPONDENT: John, this is pretty strong stuff coming from the vice president.

We haven't heard this language from anyone close to the sort of inner circle. Why should we listen to Farouk al-Sharaa? For 22 years, he was the foreign minister in the country, '84 to 2006, since then the vice president. He's sort of been under house arrest since the summer. There have been reports he was fleeing the country. Those proved not to be true.

So he's not somebody who is right at the right-hand side of Bashar al- Assad right now. But it is absolutely unusual in the circumstances right now to have somebody of his stature saying it is time for unity government. Then he goes beyond that by saying, criticizing Bashar al-Assad, saying Assad only wants to have a political solution after a military victory.

And he says there are people in Bashar al-Assad's Baath Party, his political party, that actually support a political solution now, that party leaders around the country, that government -- that departmental heads around the country only do what Bashar al-Assad says. He blames Assad for that. He said Assad let the economy of the country run down, that that's the reason that these protests began, that Bashar al-Assad ignored the protesters and that's why it turned to violence.

He's laying a lot at the feet of the president here. And this does really seem to be the first time that we're getting insight from somebody in that inner circle, close to the inner circle that is calling out and saying it is time for change. He says that if Assad doesn't change, find some agreement with the opposition right now, it will be taken out of his hands and then the opposition will have their way.

And he also goes on to criticize the rebels and says anyone who sits down at the table now and expects to get everything that they want, then forget it. He said this country will continue to be at war. There will be further bloodshed and further suffering. So he's painting a very dark scenario, but he's laying it at the feet of the president saying that Bashar al-Assad must change and the time to do that is right now, John.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

BERMAN: All right, an interesting development, a crack perhaps inside the Syrian regime. Our thanks to Nic Robertson in London.

Now let's back to Newtown, Connecticut, and all the developments there.

Hey, Brooke.

BALDWIN: John Berman, thanks so much.

Just into us here at CNN, Senator Dianne Feinstein talking to CNN, a pretty poignant statement here, pointed about gun control specifically as she's talking there to Dana Bash. She is pushing for a ban on assault weapons. We will share with you what she just revealed.

Also, Don Lemon, he joins me on his conversation with friends of the gunman's mother. That's next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)