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@THISHOUR WITH BERMAN AND MICHAELA

Why Has the Weather Been so Extreme?; CNN Hero of Figure Skating; NFL Releases Report on Jonathan Martin Case; How Chores Affect Couples' Sex Life

Aired February 14, 2014 - 11:30   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

MICHAELA PEREIRA, CNN HOST: We've certainly been talking an awful lot about weather lately and really how extreme it's been. From snow and ice, not just in the north but also in the south, too. We've seen it in the Deep South. And the extreme cold from the polar vortex that made Anchorage seem a bit more like a tropical paradise compared to the lower 48.

JOHN BERMAN, CNN HOST: And, you know, the extremes are not limited to the United States this season. You've all been watching the Olympics, right? The winter --

PEREIRA: Spring there. My goodness.

BERMAN: The Winter Olympics in Sochi. Look at this.

PEREIRA: Where's your sunscreen?

BERMAN: This is the Winter Olympics. Where is the luge? Where is the bobsled? Look at these guys. I wish they were wearing a luge outfit perhaps, maybe, instead of what they are waiting right now.

We should also say the United Kingdom has been getting hammered by epic storms and just awful flooding there.

PEREIRA: There is only one man to talk about all this. Chad Myers. We've got to ask you, give us a sense. We've been talking about everything. Extreme drought, extreme flooding, extreme snow, extreme lack of snow.

What's going on?

CHAD MYERS, AMS METEOROLOGIST: We have the jetstream going up too high and going down too high. It's called amplitude. You know, a normal day, the jetstream goes right across the United States, it's called zonal flow, across the time zones. That's when you get a normal day.

How many normal days really do we ever get? Because you get a 70- degree day and a 40-degree day, the next day you happen to get -- average them together and it's 55. But we never did get a 55-degree day. We had 70 and 40. We never really did get normal. So here's the deal. This up and down, is this normal -- a while big difference between the up and down now going to get more and more severe as we move ahead.

So here's what's happened this year. The positive phase of the arctic oscillation. The jetstream should be going around, one of them, the polar jet -- arctic jet, should be going around, across and through the Polar Regions. Well, it has been dipping down. It has -- this is our polar vortex we're talking a couple of weeks ago, way down here.

And so that gave us the cold air. But it also gave the West Coast a very warm year. It's been 10 degrees above normal everywhere across parts of California. There is the next part of the up and down. It's going up here through parts of Europe and then back up to the north here and then back down here. And so Sochi is right there, five to 10 degrees above average.

Now Sochi is the same latitude as Casper, Wyoming, or, you know, I mean, we're talking about the big ski resorts out in Jackson Hole, but they certainly don't have the snow that Jackson Hole does this year.

PEREIRA: No. Jetstream amplitude.

BERMAN: I told you with the amplitude. I told you.

PEREIRA: Chad Myers, you're the man to talk to. You did. You told me.

BERMAN: I told you the amplitude.

PEREIRA: I should have said it.

All right, let me go on to this news that we just got in, we now have the results of an NFL independent investigation into the Miami Dolphins bullying scandal. Let's get right into it.

BERMAN: Joe Carter, "Bleacher Report," joins us from Atlanta right now.

Joe, you had a chance to go over the report?

JOE CARTER, BLEACHER REPORT: Yes, guys. I mean, the report is really long. It's 148 pages. It just came down. But I do have some of the highlights in this. And obviously this is something that the NFL has been waiting to hear from. We've been wanting to know exactly what happened with the Richie Incognito-Jonathan Martin bullying incident. And that what had happened, basically, over the course of 2013, and Ted Wells was assigned to this investigation as an independent investigator by Commissioner Roger Goodell.

And some of the findings he came back with that I think are some of the most surprising is that Richie Incognito did not act alone in this. That Richie Incognito also had a couple other people that were on a consistent basis harassing Jonathan Martin. That was John Jerry and Mike Pouncey, two offensive linemen, in connection with Richie Incognito. But Richie Incognito really in this report is labeled as the ring leader if you will. And it wasn't just Jonathan Martin who is the subject of repeated harassment, who's not just the only being targeted, but it was also an assistant trainer, as well as another younger offensive lineman. They are referred to as player A in this document as well, and there's not a name to the assistant trainer. Just an assistant trainer. But that it said, "Martin was taunted on a persistent basis with not only sexually explicit remarks but also racially charged, racially slurred, racially derogatory language on a consistent basis."

Obviously this we know was the subject of him leaving the team abruptly in 2013. And the report also says that Martin -- it was so stressful on him that it was consistent with him -- with contributing to his mental health issues. That two different times in 2013, that he said that he considered suicide. So another important big -- another important point that I found to be important in this that, you know, we had wondered whether or not the Dolphins knew about any of this, whether or not the front office, the head coach was in any sort of position to cover it up or they had even -- had even asked the players, hey, why don't you toughen up Jonathan Martin?

But here it says that Coach Philbin in the front office did not know about the harassment and that Martin never reported the abuse to the Dolphins organization. So two points that got cleared up here. The Dolphins didn't know about it and that Jonathan Martin never reported it to the Dolphins. But as we know, and as owner Stephen Ross said a few months, the Dolphins do plan to improve the team's workplace conduct by putting groups in place like the conduct committee with several former Dolphin greats like Coach Shula, Tony Dungy, Jason Taylor, Curtis Martin, Dan Marino, those guys in place.

PEREIRA: Right.

CARTER: But yes, 148-page document, guys. Trying to go through it all. It's a lot to read but obviously --

PEREIRA: We appreciate it. We know it's a lot to read through.

Joe Carter, "Bleacher Report," thanks for wading through it. We're going to have much more about that right here on CNN.

BERMAN: So ahead at this hour, it was the tights, those super tight high-tech outfits. They were supposed to give American speedskaters an edge at the Olympics but could they actually be slowing them down?

We'll tell you what's causing all the concern coming up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BERMAN: All right. At the Olympics, some of Team USA's brightest stars have faded. But the Americans --

PEREIRA: Absolutely.

BERMAN: Americans are still doing well in the medal count. PEREIRA: This is our spoiler alert. Of course you know the drill. If you don't want to know, mute your TV or turn away. Are you ready? Here we go, here are the standings.

Norway leading with 13 medals. The U.S. and the Netherlands, tied for second each with a dozen. Including four gold. No country has won as many gold as Germany. Props to Germany. Seven gold medals.

BERMAN: Keep that chart up there for a second. Keep it up there. No. Because there was a country that wasn't on there.

PEREIRA: Belarus?

BERMAN: Belarus was not on there.

PEREIRA: Yes. I didn't see that.

BERMAN: Also, the nation of Canada miraculously not there by some reason.

PEREIRA: Curious. Curious.

BERMAN: All right. Incidentally NBC says it will make Olympic TV history tonight when Meredith Vieira takes over the anchor chair in prime time.

PEREIRA: Atta girl.

BERMAN: She will be the first woman to ever solo anchor the games in prime time. As you probably know, regular host Bob Costas is fighting an eye infection. Our heart goes out to him.

PEREIRA: Absolutely.

BERMAN: I mean, this has been going on for a long time now.

PEREIRA: The timing. I'm sure he's just miserable about that.

BERMAN: Tough. Tough.

All right, more Olympic news. Turns out that Team USA might have outsmarted itself.

PEREIRA: How you say it? Well, American speedskaters are wearing these specially designed, high-tech, made specifically for the team suits. They're made by Under Armour. They're supposed to give those skaters a competitive edge. However a design flaw may actually be slowing them down by creating drag.

You probably noticed. No American speedskater has finished higher than seventh. Shani Davis, favored to win, finishing eighth.

Under Armour, for its part, says it is, quote, "committed to providing Team USA with the best possible gear. Mach 39 is the most scientifically advanced and rigorously tested suit ever featured in Olympic competition. It bears noting. They never got a chance to race in those suits." Which is a big deal for those Olympians. That's a tool for them in that sport like any sports.

BERMAN: It seems bonkers to me that they didn't do any competition before.

PEREIRA: Luckily, some of them did ship some of their own race suits. I don't know if they'll be able to use them or what.

BERMAN: Just imagine, they're frantic now to get this all fixed because the competition is not at all over yet.

PEREIRA: No. Let's go to the other ice-skating sport in a different type. Ice skating is certainly taking a center stage at Sochi Olympics. We want you to meet some really cool girls from Harlem in New York who are just as passionate about the sport.

BERMAN: What they achieve on and off the ice is truly amazing. But they might never have had the chance except for the woman you're about to meet. She's our first CNN Hero of 2014.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I love the crispy feeling of the air. The sound of my skate crunching on the ice. Skating relieves me from everything. I just want to fly. I just don't want to stop.

SHARON COHEN, CNN HERO 2014: I heard that there were some girls who wanted to figure-skate in Harlem. Growing up, I was a competitive figure skater. And I knew that skating wasn't a diverse sport. There was not access for kids in low-income communities. They were so eager to get started. I began teaching them. And it was really inspiring to me. Now we serve over 200 girls a year.

Look at those spins. You did it.

The best part about skating is that it gives you qualities that you use the rest of your lives. They gain discipline, perseverance.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Step, cross, step, cross. Excellent, girl.

COHEN: They fall down and they get back up and learn they can do that in anything. It's a building block.

Skating is the hook, but education comes first.

Before they even get on the ice, they have to get their homework done. They get tutoring the minimum of three afternoons a week.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Algebra was not my best subject. And I failed it. Miss Sharon hired a special tutor for me. It felt like, hey, you have to get back up.

It was that simple?

Now I'm doing way better in school. I'm like yes.

(LAUGHTER) COHEN: We want girls to believe and know they can be anything they put their hearts and minds to.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It's not all about skating. Miss Sharon is teaching us to be the best we can be in life.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PEREIRA: A great lady said the secret to her success was timing and opportunity. Sharon is giving these young women one of those ingredients. Great opportunity.

BERMAN: No, they said it's not all about skating.

PEREIRA: It's not.

BERMAN: It is so amazing what they're doing on and off the ice.

PEREIRA: Every week we're going to honor a new CNN Hero, an everyday person that's doing extraordinary, wonderful things to help other people.

BERMAN: Yes, we should tell you, if you know someone who deserves this kind of recognition, go to CNNheroes.com. Do it right now.

PEREIRA: Yes.

BERMAN: Tell us all about them.

All right, ahead for us next at this hour, if your wife asks you to help out around the house more, could it hurt you in the bedroom?

PEREIRA: We're going there?

BERMAN: We will explain.

PEREIRA: OK.

BERMAN: Plus, how to put the passion back in your relationship. We've got two big names in couples therapy joining us next. It's a Valentine's Day special that you really cannot afford to miss.

PEREIRA: And where are we with our heartbreak mash-up? If you missed it, we're honoring the other side of Valentine's Day. You know, the heartbreak, my friend? Here's our last installment of YouTube sensation collective cadenza with heartbreak from the '80s.

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PEREIRA: All right, ladies, let's talk. OK. So you say you want your man to do more housework, how about the dishes, maybe some vacuuming. I mean, would it kill you to clean the bathroom now and then? Come on.

A new study finds that all of that could actually hurt your sex life just a little bit. BERMAN: So this study is a real study. It actually appeared in the "Sociology Journal," and it is getting a new life in this week's "New York Times" or last week's "New York Times" magazine article written by Lori Gottlieb. She is with us. She is a couples therapist.

Also joining us, Esther Perel, an expert in erotic intelligence. And also the author of the book "Mating in Captivity."

PEREIRA: Lori, let's talk with you, my friend, in Los Angeles. Is this for real? Don't we women want the fellas to help out around the house? And then it goes, happy wife, happy life. Isn't everybody happy?

LORI GOTTLIEB, COUPLES THERAPIST, AUTHOR: Right. We absolutely want them to help out around the house, so men are not off the hook. What the study found was that if men did more feminine chores like dishes, laundry, they had sex 1.5 fewer times per month with their wives than if they did more masculine chores like taking out the trash or fixing the car.

BERMAN: So not only do we need to know more about erotic intelligence, we need to know more about math. This is getting more and more complicated for dudes here.

(LAUGHTER)

You know, Esther, I get mixed messages here, speaking on behalf of all men everywhere. What are we supposed to do then?

ESTHER PEREL, AUTHOR, "MATING IN CAPTIVITY": Look, I think that your point about not just getting seduced by the statistics of sex is actually a very good idea. And sex does not just get measured by frequency. It also gets measured by quality in terms of connection and pleasure. So what I would say for men is that in the realm of the domestic, keep doing more. Keep going toward this more egalitarian idea, toward more shared household, shared child-rearing. Allow yourself to have fatherhood in a way that most of -- your fathers never had.

In the realm of the erotic, know that what ignites desire is not the same as what fuels love. That the domestic and the erotic are not one and the same, and they play by different rules.

PEREIRA: Well, maybe there is something to that, Lori. You can sound off on this. The separation between church and state. You know, let's try and keep things, you know, divided. We don't worry about trying to be sexy when we're vacuuming to begin with. If we just separate these things and find equal ways to contribute to the household, and then we also keep things healthy in the bedroom, then everything works out.

Or am I just looking through rose-colored glasses here?

GOTTLIEB: Well, I think you're right. I think that people need to have equal respect and equal power in a relationship. But how that plays out doesn't need to be the same. So equality doesn't necessarily mean sameness. And especially in the bedroom, a lot of people, as I talk about in the article, are a little bit confused about well, if we're going to be in a 50/50 marriage, what does 50/50 sex look like?

BERMAN: Esther, let me ask you this because I'm extremely uncomfortable talking about this right here.

PEREL: Welcome to America.

(LAUGHTER)

BERMAN: Welcome to America, thank you. Are we all better off talking more about this?

PEREL: Look, I do think that we're better off having healthy, rich, complex conversations about sexuality that don't just turn into smut or sanctimony. I do think that within the couple, many people do not talk much about sexuality and especially with the person that they're having the sexual relationship with.

I think that if we don't look at sex just as something we do, but as a place we go, inside ourselves, with another, then you begin to look at sexuality as an expression of who you are. And then it becomes a very different way of talking about sex than what do you want to do, where do you want to touch.

PEREIRA: Right. The specifics.

PEREL: Yes.

PEREIRA: Ether Perel, thank you so much for contributing to this conversation.

PEREL: Pleasure.

PEREIRA: Lori Gottlieb from Los Angeles. Seems a perfect conversation for Valentine's Day, no?

BERMAN: And it is Valentine's Day so we want to leave you with a final thought here.

If you watch cable TV, which by definition you do, don't make me get all meta here, you've undoubtedly noted this commercial on TV, including on CNN.

PEREIRA: Which one? Let's see.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Guys, this Valentine's Day, size really does matter. So if you want to score big points with your valentine, go big with the big hunk of love bear from Vermont Teddy Bear. This guy is a four and a half foot tall pile of awesome.

(END VIDEO CLIP) BERMAN: All right. This is the Vermont Teddy Bear Company trying to sell Vermont teddy bears for Valentine's Day. Now see if you can understand what their message is here, right? Subtle, right? Wrong. It's not subtle at all. It's like what I like to call a single entendre. The clear pitch is that if you give the gift of Vermont Teddy Bear that equals sex, either for you, the teddy bear or maybe both.

(LAUGHTER)

I'm not judging here. Advertising is a very good thing for our business and I would not look a gift horse in the mouth or in this case a gift bear or perhaps a gift porn bear.

PEREIRA: Oh, my goodness.

BERMAN: I'm just wondering what's behind you're supposed to be left with as viewers. Is this weird, is this sexy, or, again, both? Not judging.

PEREIRA: I think you might have checked off all of the boxes, as did your commentary and cable rage.

BERMAN: Let us know. Tweet us @thishour.

PEREIRA: Thanks so much for joining us AT THIS HOUR.

BERMAN: I'm John Berman. This is Michaela Pereira.

PEREIRA: And I'm Michaela Pereira. Sure.

BERMAN: "LEGAL VIEW" with Ashleigh Banfield starts right now -- or after this.

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