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Dr. Drew
Sex Classes At Our Colleges, Such As How To Be A Gentleman And Get Laid; The Sex Poll That Says Women Over 25 Are Over The Hill; The Sex Scandal Of Craigslist, Women Are Selling Positive Pregnancy Tests To The Highest Bidder
Aired December 03, 2014 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DR. DREW PINSKY, HLN HOST (voice-over): Tonight, 60 minutes of sex. Sex classes at our colleges, such as how to be a gentleman and get laid. Is
this what our children should be learning?
Plus, the sex poll that says women over 25 are over the hill. And, the sex scandal of Craigslist, women are selling positive pregnancy tests to the
highest bidder. But why? Let us get started.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY: Good evening, everyone. My co-host is Samantha Schacher. Sam, tonight, we are devoting the entire show to some of the most outrageous sex
stories we have covered in the last couple of months.
First up, the University of New Mexico caused an uproar when they kicked off the school year with a week of sex seminars. That is, exactly, what I
have said, a week of sex seminars. Have a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
REID MIHALKO, SEX AND RELATIONSHIP ROLE MODEL: I am here to give you tools and tips and tricks, so that you can be a more powerful you and to not be
so afraid and scared and feel so ashamed about sexuality.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE SPEAKER: Reid Mihalko is leading a series of seminars at UNM this week on sex. Tonight, the lecture is on, quote, "how to be a
gentleman and to get laid. Organizers, including a student group at UNM Women`s Resource Center say the talks aim to teach students about healthy
relationships, to reduce sexual violence on campus. But with racy titles for classes on oral sex and group sex, critics say these talks are just
offensive.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY: The University of New Mexico definitely thinking outside of the box and trying to teach students about sexual violence on campus, but they
go too far. Sam, you think?
SAMANTHA SCHACHER, HLN CO-HOST: I think, but listen, I get the titles are very provocative.
PINSKY: Yes.
SCHACHER: If I were the parent, I would scream.
PINSKY: Yes.
SCHACHER: However, I think it is the old bait and switch. Once they are in, they are going to learn a lot more.
PINSKY: All right, well, let us see what the panel`s views were on this. Have a look.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
LEEANN TWEEDEN, SOCIAL COMMENTATOR: Right. Yes. I mean Dr. Drew, I am all about sex education, too, but to me all of these names sound like porn
titles. I do not -- I have no idea what the University of New Mexico is thinking when they have a guy coming in, who was kind of creepy by the way.
I mean if I was taking a class from him, he kind of creeps me out. But this is their plan to prevent sexual assault, how does learning how to have
successful threesomes and, you know, O says, orals and great orgasms have anything to do with that? Not only that, this is on the taxpayer and
student`s dime.
PINSKY: No, no, it is not.
TWEEDEN: I have a problem with that.
PINSKY: I looked at this. Not, Sam, right, it is not the taxpayer money. It is some of the tuition money.
TWEEDEN: It is student tuition money, but I mean that should be -- you should -- I have to opt into that. If you want your money to go there. It
should not just -- If I was a parent paying for that, I would be angry.
PINSKY: Would you be angry, Sam?
SCHACHER: OK, here is the thing. I think people are stuck on the titles. And, here is the idea behind these racy provocative titles and I get it.
It is I think they wanted the students to be enticed to actually take these courses --
TWEEDEN: Oh, my Gosh.
SCHACHER: Because listen, no student is going to go to a course that says "What constitutes as consent for sexual intercourse?"
PINSKY: Yes.
SCHACHER: And, I am sorry. Listen --
PINSKY: You are right.
SCHACHER: I looked at the curriculum, and the curriculum talks about what constitutes as consent, it talks about boundaries, it talks about healthy
relationships, how not to victim blame, how not to slut shame. So, titles aside, I think this type of education is, absolutely, beneficial.
PINSKY: No, wait a minute, that maybe --
TWEEDEN: Why do not they tell to teach self-control and respect of others?
SCHACHER: That too is being taught.
PINSKY: That would be in there, I assume.
VANESSA BARNETT, SOCIAL COMMENTATOR: That too is being taught.
PINSKY: Vanessa, you think so --
BARNETT: Yes, exactly. This is the good old bait and switch.
SCHACHER: Yes.
BARNETT: Get them in the class and teach them the stuff they need to know.
PINSKY: Hang on, now.
BARNETT: But, we need to stop being -- we need to stop being scared of blow jobs and threesomes.
SCHACHER: Thank you.
BARNETT: They are happening, whether you like it or not, and these are --
TWEEDEN: I agree with that.
BARNETT: -- Taking aggressive measures. They are going to continue to rise. And, the other campuses that are doing these modules and all theat
other crap that is not working, they are still having these assaults. Let us try something different. Let us get with the times and let us push
boundaries. We have to do something different.
TWEEDEN: Well, when I learned about threesomes, Dr. Drew, I am sure going to respect the person and it is going to prevent me from assaulting
somebody. Give me a break!
PINSKY: We also, there was a great tweet we have there by Lucia D. that said, "Threesomes, and great threesome -- healthy threesome is not that an
oxymoron?" That was a good comment.
BARNETT: Yes.
PINSKY: But, Tiffanie, you know, listen, you know, I have done a show about sexuality and healthy relations for almost 30 years. And, so I have
no problem with all this stuff.
TIFFANIE DAVIS HENRY, PH.D., PSYCHOTHERAPIST: Yes.
PINSKY: And, you have taught these topics on campuses. It is really hard to get these students in the door --
HENRY: Yes.
PINSKY: Unless you show something that looks like it is going to be provocative, right?
HENRY: Something a little provocative, something a little enticing. But what is apparent to me, in having taught even masters level students human
sexuality is how much they do not know. Abstinence, only education is one of the things that mostly taught in schools, if it is taught at all.
And, so, you do not know how many students, how many adults are coming into college campuses and do not know that you can get pregnant from just
putting the tip in, that you can -- that they do not know how to put on a condom properly either. But what is it --
TWEEDEN: But what is it have to do with preventing sexual assault?
HENRY: -- anal sex. It is not making you technically a virgin. You still can get pregnant by doing a lot of different things. You still can get
STIs by doing a lot of different things. And, these are things that college students should know. And --
PINSKY: I will tell you what.
TWEEDEN: -- And, they do not put it under that umbrella that this is preventing sexual assaults, Dr. Drew. How about just, "Hey, let us learn
more about sex.
PINSKY: Well, the lead lecturer is a guy named Reid Mihalko. He bills himself as a sexual relationship role model. And, his website, it says,
"My personal passion is to get adults talking about sex and intimacy with less fear, just talking about sex for most people feels like going to the
dentist."
I am not sure that is true. And, people talk, although, Tiffanie, you said that people are still so naive when they get to college, many I suppose
are.
HENRY: For sure.
PINSKY: But, what shall we do? We have a problem. And, by the way, one of the big problems with even these sorts of programs, like the one that we
are talking about, is there are no objective data about what does work. So, what do, you, guys think? Vanessa, what do you think we should do?
BARNETT: I think this is it. I love being provocative and pushing boundaries. And, these courses, they are not teaching people how to have a
threesome. What they are doing is saying, "Look, if you think you are about to be involved in one, here are the parameters, and here is how it
can get out of control. And, if one person does not want to do it, then it ain`t happening." And, they are just trying to educate people and it is a
feisty title with some good substance behind it.
TWEEDEN: Dr. Drew --
HENRY: I think we know that here are plenty of young men that are asking their partners to have threesomes, and how do you say no to that, if you
want to say no?
PINSKY: Well, let us just -- let me do an experiment here.
HENRY: You negotiate that if you do want to do that?
PINSKY: Wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Let us just -- let us take a little poll in the room here. Vanessa, I would like to have a threesome with you,
response --
BARNETT: My God --
PINSKY: No? Tiffanie, your response? No, right?
(LAUGHTER)
HENRY: Well, Dr. Drew -- No, I would not have to say that.
PINSKY: No. No. There you go. Leann?
(LAUGHTER)
TWEEDEN: Dr. Drew.
PINSKY: No, right?
TWEEDEN: I think if we --.
PINSKY: It is pretty easy. It is pretty easy.
TWEEDEN: Yes for no.
SCHACHER: You did not ask me.
(CROSSTALK)
PINSKY: Well, Sam -- I cannot get any of their attention even to talk to me.
(LAUGHTER)
TWEEDEN: I am not even going to justify that with an answer.
PINSKY: Right.
TWEEDEN: But let us talk about it. Even adults that are out of college, I think it is known that a threesome is not a healthy situation for any human
being to be in.
PINSKY: Right. Right.
TWEEDEN: So, why it is even being brought up in sexual prevention at a college --
HENRY: I do not know if I agree with that.
TWEEDEN: -- where your school tuition beings used for that.
PINSKY: Well, Tiffanie, go ahead.
TWEEDEN: That is just wrong.
PINSKY: My fear is they could be intoxicated when they do these things.
TWEEDEN: Right.
PINSKY: And the intoxicated is the problem.
TWEEDEN: Why do not we talk about that too, Dr. Drew.
PINSKY: Well, that is what I am saying.
TWEEDEN: How about --
PINSKY: That is my solution. My solution is you talk about the hookup culture and how fuels that alcohol being --
TWEEDEN: Thank you.
PINSKY: And have them to think about alternative measures -- alternative ways to socialize --
TWEEDEN: Thank you.
PINSKY: -- That are not so intensive require them to get wasted in order to do them.
TWEEDEN: Sounds great, Dr. Drew.
PINSKY: How about having a meal and a conversation across that meal? Tiffanie, can we do that as opposed to the threesome? Would that be more
appealing?
HENRY: You can certainly do that.
PINSKY: Right.
HENRY: And, I would hate to be a 35-year-old woman and not know how to give a proper BJ.
TWEEDEN: I am sorry. I am not going to college to learn that.
HENRY: I mean that is something that you should not want to do.
BARNETT: And, you do not have to go to college to learn that. You do not have to. But some people do want to learn that at some point in their
lives. And, if they can take a workshop at college -- they are not paying --
TWEEDEN: So, my student tuition is going to --
HENRY: -- They are not getting credit for this.
PINSKY: Hold on.
HENRY: They are not getting credit for this class.
PINSKY: Yes, it is a community --
HENRY: This is something they can do voluntarily if they want to.
PINSKY: Right. Community lecture series. But Sam, what are you thinking?
SCHACHER: We are not focusing on the positive aspects of it. The aspects that they talk about, parameters and boundaries and what is consent and not
to victim blame and not to slut shame. Those are really valuable things. Again, people are so stuck on these titles that it is allowing you to
fogyour judgment that there is some actual real education and dialogue happening. And, what else are we going to do to decrease the high amount
of sexual assault?
PINSKY: Well, what -- did anybody -- and when they were in college, have any sort of course or experience -- in Santa Cruz, Sam, did they ever --
did they do anything that got through to you as a college-age kid?
SCHACHER: No, we never -- I went to UCLA. I grew up in Santa Cruz --
PINSKY: Oh, I beg your pardon.
SCHACHER: But no, we did not. There was no courses talking about sexuality. I wish there were.
PINSKY: Vanessa.
SCHACHER: I listen to Love Line.
PINSKY: Real quick. I am giving --
BARNETT: Absolutely. I went to Howard and I did not take one.
PINSKY: Tiffanie?
HENRY: Yes, I took plenty of them.
PINSKY: Yes. It is awesome. Leeann.
(LAUGHTER)
TWEEDEN: I did not, no.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
PINSKY: How dare I, Sam is not Santa Cruz banana slug. Well, shortly after we ran that story, the school was forced to apologize because of all
the backlash.
Next up, one man`s wife gives him every excuse in the book not to have sex. But what happens when every excuse she makes goes viral? And, later why
are some women buying positive pregnancy tests on Craigslist? We will explain and we are back after this.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO TAPE)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Husband does not think he and his wife are having enough sex. So, he e-mails her a spreadsheet. He has kept tabs outlining
the number of times he is tried to have sex with his wife, how many times she is said yes. He has even has her excuses outlined in this e-mail.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I am exhausted. I feel sweaty and gross. I am watching a show.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: She gets the e-mail and then posts the e-mail on her Reddit account.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I am too drunk. I just came back from the gym. You are too drunk. I am trying to watch the movie.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Twenty eight tries, they had sex three times. This is over a month and a half. So, the average, about, a little bit of sex every
16 days.
(END VIDEO TAPE)
PINSKY: The husband was so frustrated about the lack of sex in his marriage that he created a spreadsheet. You just saw it there. He kept
track of every time he attempted with his wife and her excuses.
He e-mailed the spreadsheet to his wife, said, "Hey! Look at this" and she responded by posting the spreadsheet on social networking site, Reddit.
Well, Sam, I do not know. Maybe your husband -- does this sound familiar, those excuses?
SCHACHER: Those excuses do sound familiar.
(LAUGHING)
PINSKY: They do?
SCHACHER: They do. I am sorry, sometimes you are just not in the mood, Dr. Drew. And, I think that is normal.
PINSKY: Well, sometimes.
SCHACHER: The communication is not normal via spreadsheet.
PINSKY: It is --
SCHACHER: What?
PINSKY: It is OK, but --
SCHACHER: Your wife never says, I am sorry, I have a headache?
PINSKY: Yes, I am feeling for all the men out here in what is happening here. And, it is OK to a point -- What I am thinking is it is important to
be emphatic to women and to be respectful to women, but it went too far in that case.
SCHACHER: Of course.
PINSKY: They were disconnected. That is all I am saying.
SCHACHER: Unless you get turned on by spreadsheets.
PINSKY: And, what our panel had to say.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAP)
PINSKY: What is worse, making this spreadsheet or posting it online? Mike.
MIKE CATHERWOOD: I know this is going to surprise you. I actually think making the spreadsheet. I think the husband`s tactics are far more
reprehensible than her posting it.
PINSKY: You do not think it is a good idea?
CATHERWOOD: Listen, if your wife is not going to be intimate with you as much as you would like, maybe the first thing you should do is try to talk
to her.
TWEEDEN: Mike, he probably did try other things.
CATHERWOOD: I think that the first time she found out about this little spreadsheet and him, you know, cataloging all the times that he approached
her and got shot down was when he e-mailed it to her, like a spineless -- what a wimp!
This passive-aggressive smarmy brick, then sends it to her while she is on a business trip. I mean, I think that is the least damaging thing she
could do, by posting it online.
TWEEDEN: I know.
(CROSSTALK)
PINSKY: Hang on. I want to hear -- Laila is just smiling away. I want to hear what she is thinking. What is going on?
LAILA ALI, MSNBC CONTRIBUTOR: I think it is funny.
SCHACHER: Yes.
ALI: Look, first of all, I believe that he probably had been trying to talk to her.
TWEEDEN: Exactly.
ALI: And, I am the type of person, when I have an argument and I want to lay the facts down, you know, she knows what her excuses are, but he was
going ahead and keeping track, so there is no way now she is going to be able to like, "No, I did not say that." You know, but, I think the bigger
problem is that she does not want to have sex with her husband.
PINSKY: Right.
TWEEDEN: Right.
(CROSSTALK)
ALI: That is what we really need to do. No marriage is going to make it if you are not giving it up.
CATHERWOOD: How about all the time that he took to catalog the times he got rejected, maybe invest a little bit of that time in himself and maybe
she would want to bang him.
TWEEDEN: But, Come on -- Wait, wait, wait. Come on, Mike! We have to -- we do not know the back story. I am sure the guy has been trying and
trying and trying and this was a last resort.
Let us face it. Him, you know, writing down and putting into Powerpoint or making this presentation for her and e-mailing it to her, or whatever you
have -- or word or whatever he put it in. It is like, come on. She is not giving it up. Why even be married? I mean, that is part of marriage!
PINSKY: That is right.
CATHERWOOD: It is part of marriage, but, Ms. Tweeden, clearly you do not have a boner, because you would understand that if a guy is not getting
tended to --
PINSKY: Mike. Mike, slow down, buddy.
CATHERWOOD: -- the first thing he should do is go to his computer and start a spreadsheet of sites he can go to --
PINSKY: Yes. That is right.
CATHERWOOD: -- to then release the valve --
PINSKY: He has done that --
CATHERWOOD: And does not have to deal with his Agatha Christi wife.
PINSKY: He has done that, as well. I have no doubt. Let me slip it around -- slip it around to the excuses. Sam, you have never used excuses
like this. These excuses are bazaar. You all seem a little familiar with these excuses.
SCHACHER: Yes. I actually -- I am sorry, when I read this, at first glance, I thought it was hilarious and I thought it was damning, I was
like, "Oh, shoot, I have used that excuse and I have used that excuse and I am sorry.
A lot of couples in long-term relationships can relate. But clearly, there is an issue here, not only the lack of intimacy, but I am with you, Mike,
there is a lack of communication. There is nothing sexier than a spreadsheet. I mean, come on!
PINSKY: Yes. I agree.
TWEEDEN: But look at the wife, she posted it on Reddit. So, obviously --
ALI: Exactly.
TWEEDEN: -- I mean, I would never do that, because, obviously, that shows her not in a good light, not giving it up to her husband.
ALI: Right. At least he sent her an e-mail.
TWEEDEN: Exactly.
ALI: I think that he could have used better judgment than to send her an e-mail.
TWEEDEN: Exactly.
ALI: But at the same time, I understand him wanting to get his point across.
TWEEDEN: He is frustrated!
ALI: He knows she is making excuses.
SCHACHER: You know what? Men and women are turned on differently, and that is why you need to have communication in your relationship. Women,
you know, we tend to want to be appreciated and adored --
PINSKY: Right. That is right.
SCHACHER: -- and, that gets us in the mood.
PINSKY: No. That is true.
SCHACHER: And, men, they just want to have sex.
TWEEDEN: Wine and dine.
PINSKY: What is that, Leeann?
TWEEDEN: I said wine and dine. I mean, look, I just got a tweet from a woman who was just like, "Oh, women should just be able to give it up on
demand to their husbands? Not!
PINSKY: No. No.
TWEEDEN: Whoever wrote that, I am sorry, I just read it briefly. I am talking to you. I did not mean that in any way that a woman should be
giving it up whenever the man wants. But look, sex is an important part of marriage.
And usually, when you get married, you expect sex, you know? Three times in like a month, if the guy wanted it more, and he was trying, then, you
know, maybe there is an issue there and you guys should work it out.
PINSKY: Right. And, I have now been informed that the woman is 26 years of age. And, my whole lecture about.
TWEEDEN: Oh, her libido should be going off!
PINSKY: Well, it could be medication. It could be hormonal contraceptive. But in any event, it is probably something between them, because as you
say, the intimacy is what is important.
TWEEDEN: Maybe she is cheating on him.
PINSKY: And, as I have tried to tell men -- young men that the foreplay is dinner and you have got to get used to that idea. But, hold on. Mike,
hold on.
CATHERWOOD: Who said that? That she might be cheating on him?
TWEEDEN: I said it!
CATHERWOOD: OK, that is impossible! Because when girls cheat on a guy in a long-term relationship, then they go back and bang you more. It is like
your penis is made out of Christian with a tong.
PINSKY: Hold on. Hold on.
TWEEDEN: What?!
PINSKY: Here is what I want to do. Wait a minute. Sam, you said you wanted some more reenactment.
SCHACHER: Yes.
PINSKY: OK.
SCHACHER: Bring it.
PINSKY: I have not heard from Laila, yet. How about, Mike, you and Laila Ali reenact how this would have transpired.
SCHACHER: What?
CATHERWOOD: Thank you for having Laila on this show, by the way. I like that you guys finally have a girl named, Miss Ali, on the show that I do
not hate. All right, here we go. Laila, let us pretend for a moment that you are this 26- year-old young lady and I am, of course, this prick of a
husband.
Here we go. Hey, baby, I know, you are watching your favorite show there, but what do you say press pause, you know? Because we have got the TiVo,
the DVR. You and I get a little freaky under the sheets, huh?
(LAUGHING)
ALI: Then I will probably going to say, "Look, if you make it worth my time, I will give it up more often. At least three or four times a week."
Look people, at the end of the day, if the sex is good, you are going to get it.
TWEEDEN: Exactly.
ALI: If not, may not. At the end of the day, that is what it is all about. I do not care what is going on.
TWEEDEN: And, I am sorry. She said she felt yucky and gross. I am telling you, sometimes the best sex is when you are yucky and gross after
the gym. That is all I am saying. And, I have been together with my husband for ten years.
PINSKY: The longer we continue to discuss this, the more we are going to learn about our panel. I am just saying, Mike. Let us see what Danine
Manette is saying.
"She should make a spreadsheet of how many times he has helped her around the house. The two lists might be more related than he knows. Another
important thing for men to know that taking the garbage out has aphrodisiac effects."
SCHACHER: Yes. It does.
ALI: I tell my husband that all the time. I tell my husband that all the time.
He says, "What happened, you know, when we were dating, you said, do this, that was before I was cleaning your drawers and your dishes every night.
Help me out and I`ll help you out, brother.
(LAUGHING)
(END VIDEOTAPE)
PINSKY: So, I learned, Sam, that helping out around the house is an aphrodisiac.
SCHACHER: It is sexy.
PINSKY: Rather than spreadsheet -- it is sexy?
SCHACHER: Yes. If you come home and let us say that your man is cooking dinner, very sexy.
PINSKY: So giving, providing to the other.
SCHACHER: Yes.
PINSKY: OK.
SCHACHER: So, sexy.
PINSKY: And, what is the Twitter verse say about it?
SCHACHER: Lot is going on Twitter, Dr. Drew. From Michelle, she writes, "Nothing makes a woman turned on quite like a sex spreadsheet." From Lali,
"He should not have sent it to her work e-mail, but she had no right to air their dirty laundry on Reddit." I agree.
PINSKY: You find everything out on Reddit. I got to spend more time on Reddit.
SCHACHER: Yes. Careful. It can go viral like that. I do not know she anticipated the reaction that this got.
PINSKY: I got to do an AMA on this soon.
SCHACHER: Do it.
PINSKY: All right. Next up, why are women buying and/or selling pregnancy tests on Craigslist? And, later, are women over the hill at the ripe old
age 22, an online dating site owner says, yes. Right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE REPORTER: Plenty of expecting moms hoping to cash in on their condition by selling positive pregnancy tests to anyone, who is
willing to pay up.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE SPEAKER (1): If it is a prank, it would be hysterical. But, it could be really cold hearted and mean.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE REPORTER: Tricking a man into marrying them or at the very least trying to keep a partner in a relationship he no longer wants
any part of.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE SPEAKER (2): I think that would be a level of blackmail.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE SPEAKER (3): That is playing with people`s emotions. That is real life situation. You do not mess with stuff like that.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE SPEAKER: Cons are no good and never results in anything positive.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY: I am back with Sam. Women buying positive pregnancy tests online in order to, I guess trick their boyfriends in staying with them, right?
SCHACHER: It does not get that much more -- or it does not get more manipulative than that.
PINSKY: Than that.
SCHACHER: Yes.
PINSKY: One of my guests did not think -- well, I guess somebody on the panel did not think there was anything wrong with this. You and I
disagreed. But have a look.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
PINSKY: And, Wendy, I am going to you first, because the rest of us are shaking our head. And I heard you think this is an OK idea.
SCHACHER: What?
WENDY WALSH, PH.D., PSYCHOLOGIST: I do not say OK, but I want to say this. Are men complaining about being deceived after they pretend that they
wanted to be our boyfriends and husbands just to extract sex from us; after they deceive women by buying fake diamond rings. Why is this so different?
Listen, men are good at extracting sex from women. Women have been good, if they are good, at extracting resources from men. So, this is the dark
side of the mating game. I am not judging it. I am just saying it exists. And, now, women have a prop to go with their words. That is all I am
saying.
ANAHITA SEDAGHATFAR, DEFENSE ATTORNEY: I am judging it, Dr. Drew.
SCHACHER: I will judge it. I am, too, Anahita.
PINSKY: Anahita, I imagine there is some liability in all of this as well.
SEDAGHATFAR: Well, first let me say, how desperate does a woman have to be to engage in this type of behavior, to trap a guy into being with them. I
mean, it is absolutely disgusting. Now, legally speaking, it is not a crime for the women that are selling these fake pregnancy tests or I should
say positive pregnancy tests.
But, it is a crime for those women that are using these pregnancy tests to defraud somebody out of money. Like if they are going to a boyfriend to
try to get money for an abortion, or for some child support payments or even going to the state, to try to get --
PINSKY: Or a marriage, what about a marriage? What about a relationship? What about keeping them in a relationship they might not want to be in?
SCHACHER: Right.
SEDAGHATFAR: Right. But ,that is what I am saying --
WALSH: But, wait a minute, Anahita.
SEDAGHATFAR: -- like how in the world do they think they are going to get away with this --
WALSH: Anahita --
SEDAGHATFAR: Like At some point, is not the guy going to wake up and say, "Wait a minute, you have no belly. You are not throwing up in the
morning."
(CROSSTALK)
PINSKY: Well, in the meantime, they will get pregnant.
WALSH: Well, she is going to have a miscarriage.
(CROSSTALK)
SCHACHER: They actually --
SEDAGHATFAR: You can fake a vomit.
SCHACHER: --But, you can purchase the baby bumps. You can purchase fake DNA tests. You can purchase fake ultrasounds. All of that was on there.
PINSKY: All right. Crazy.
SCHACHER: It is insane.
PINSKY: That is crazy.
WALSH: But, wait a minute --
SCHACHER: Messing with people is lives emotionally and financially.
(CROSSTALK)
PINSKY: Wait. Listen, there is a really good tweet --
WALSH: Wait. But, there is a sexual double standard here.
PINSKY: Hold on, everybody. Quiet! Quiet. There is a really interesting tweet next to you that said oldest trick in the book, new twist, which is
really my point on social media, generally. Social media is just a new way to get the same old stuff out but it is doing it. It is blowing down
boundaries that is making it much more accessible to people.
SEDAGHATFAR: That is right.
PINSKY: Now, before we go on to Segun, and I want to Segun. Maybe he is going to start spitting fire in a second. I want to show you some of the
ads on Craigslist right now. Here they are, put them.
sIn Texas, $20. I do not want to know why you want or need it but if you do, I will make it happen. I am pregnant, so it will be legit. Will mail
to any list or meet if nearby, will not be available much longer. I guess there is a delivery date come.
SCHACHER: Wow.
PINSKY: So, Segun, have at it. Segun, what is say you?
SEGUN ODUOLOWU, SOCIAL COMMENTATOR: Well, first of all, if we thought V. Stiviano was bad like these women win gold in the skank Olympics. And, I
just have to ask you, Dr. Wendy, who hurt you, dear? Because you always come on and you say that it is always tit for tat, and like men do this to
get by on women, and it is only fair.
But, there are some things that are just dead wrong, and faking a pregnancy, selling urine, have we come to that? Is it so bad that we are
now selling urine on Craigslist to trick a man into thinking you are pregnant to keep a man in a relationship. Wow.
WALSH: But men trick women all the time. I will tell you --
ODUOLOWU: Does it make it right?
WALSH: I am not saying anything is right or wrong. I am just saying there is a dark side to the mating game. I am not saying it is good or bad.
ODUOLOWU: No, no, no, but you said you are not going to judge.
WALSH: And, you know what men do when they trick a woman and extract sex from her? They can leave her with an STD, an 18-year case of pregnanthood,
and a pregnant life --
SEDAGHATFAR: Use condoms.
WALSH: -- and a broken heart.
PINSKY: Hold it, hold it. Hold it.
ODUOLOWU: Breathe, Wendy, breathe.
PINSKY: I just want to say, in terms of being surprised about urine being purchased online, believe me, my addicts have been doing that a long time.
They have a whole market of purchasing clean urines and warm urines and all kinds of stuff to use in their whizzinators and things.
SCHACHER: Whizzinators. You used that term.
PINSKY: Look it up if you want to know what it is. I am not going to go any further with it tonight. But I do think that although Wendy is right,
it is built on something in our biology in terms of males extracting sex, women extracting resources.
I refer you to some of the evolutionary psychologists who have worked that out quite nicely, but I still think this is a new low. This is a new low -
-
ODUOLOWU: Thank you, Dr. Drew.
PINSKY: -- where we are taken this and that is where social media is somewhat different. And, that it is, again, blowing down boundaries and
taking us to extremes. Same story, different outcome.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
PINSKY: Next up, a new study says that 50-year-old men want women barely out of their teens. And, later, one university is under fire for acquiring
students to fill up a survey about their sexual history. Back after this.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE SPEAKER: At which age are you the most attractive? Here is what the president of OK Cupid says in his new book. "Women are
most attractive to men their own age until about 40. Then they go for younger men. Men find younger women more attractive." Big surprise.
After women reach the ripe old age of 22, men find them less and less attractive, which explains why 55-year-old guys wants 22-year-old women.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY: Back with Sam. We have devoted an entire show to stories about sex and sexuality. And, now according to this poll, men find women most
attractive at 22. After that, it is downhill.
SCHACHER: Dr. Drew --
PINSKY: I beg to disagree.
SCHACHER: OK. I am so glad you will said that.
PINSKY: Yes.
SCHACHER: That would make me --
PINSKY: Way gone.
SCHACHER: That would make me a senior citizen.
PINSKY: Yes. You are gone. You are out.
SCHACHER: Unless I can get discounts at the movies then I am good.
PINSKY: I think the way he broke down the study was, you know, just sort of pure attraction as opposed to somebody they really would like to be
with, you know what I mean?
SCHACHER: Yes. That makes sense.
PINSKY: I think that is what he was looking at. But, it needs a little more explaining. So, take a look at this.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
PINSKY: If you look at motivational priorities, and you give males free reign, it is not really they are looking for a relationship, they are
looking for a hookup. This is what you see. Let us do our own little objective test here. Let us take a look at Sam at the age of 22.
(LAUGHING)
SCHACHER: No.
SEDAGHATFAR: Oh, my God!
SCHACHER: What do you see? What do you have?
PINSKY: There you go.
SCHACHER: Oh, my God!
SEDAGHATFAR: Sam, you are so cute.
SCHACHER: My purple eye shadow, how embarrassing.
(LAUGHING)
PINSKY: Heather at 22. Got Heather in there. Come on, now. What is taking so long.
HEATHER MCDONALD, HLN CONTRIBUTOR: Come on.
PINSKY: Oh, I dream of Jeannie. Heather, well done.
MCDONALD: That is at the USC Beta party, OK?
(LAUGHING)
JASON ELLIS, SIRIUSXM RADIO HOST: Are you wearing that before we came back on?
PINSKY: Jason, we will not leave you out of this.
SCHACHER: Where is Anahita?
PINSKY: Here is Jason at 22.
ELLIS: Oh, come on man, really?
SEDAGHATFAR: Oh, my God!
SCHACHER: Topless.
PINSKY: All right. So, let us get to the topic.
SCHACHER: Wait. Did you break in to our MySpace Account?
PINSKY: There is Anahita. There is Anahita.
(LAUGHING)
SEDAGHATFAR: Oh, my God. That is my graduation party.
SCHACHER: Oh, my God. I think you hired Evy Pompouras. How did you get a hold of these photos?
PINSKY: Well, we have connections because of Evy as a matter of fact.
ELLIS: How about you, Drew?
PINSKY: I am afraid, you are going to call for somebody who is going to throw something up there. I do not know.
MCDONALD: I feel like we all look very similar, but only better.
PINSKY: There is me at 35 with Adam Corolla.
SCHACHER: Oh, my Gosh. You so look much better now.
SEDAGHATFAR: Oh, my God.
(LAUGHING)
ELLIS: Everybody looks way better now.
MCDONALD: I know. Everybody looks way better now.
PINSKY: Yes. I agree with you.
SEDAGHATFAR: I think too.
PINSKY: I, absolutely, agree with you. And, that is why this whole thing is a little bit flawed.
MCDONALD: Yes.
PINSKY: But, Heather, your thoughts on the fact that in your organization of online dating, should women -- maybe not be spending any time in the
online world if that is the way men are playing it out?
MCDONALD: I mean I do think you could of have to do the online dating now, I guess, if you are out there, but obviously, it is awful. I mean, that is
why I stayed married. I am also expecting my husband to upload my pictures into Match, So, I do not do anything. But I think it is gross, it is a
nightmare. I mean, when I was 22, I did get a lot of guys in their mid 40s. I would go out with them because I was starving and I wanted a meal.
I just think, of course, that might be the ideal, but I feel like guys are hitting on me now that I am older, like the 27-year-old guys hit on me,
maybe because they know a woman my age is DTS because she is got to go carpool the next morning, I do not know. But, I feel like it is the
younger guys coming off the older women. I think they realized we are desperate.
PINSKY: She said that, A.J.
SCHACHER: DTS, that is a New Jersey Shore reference.
ELLIS: You are just lanky and sexy, everybody is thinking getting the freeway. You are just like hot and nobody cares anymore about the age
thing. I do not know why a guy would want to go out with a 20-year-old. No disrespect to a 20-year-old, but you guys are gross and you know
nothing.
SEDAGHATFAR: Look at the source of the study, you guys. It is OKCupid. This is not like a Yale scientific study, or a Harvard scientific study.
So, I do not really agree with it, but if the point is guys like hot women, duh. It did not take a brain scientist to tell us that. Of course, guys
like pretty women. I do not think it has so much to do with age, other than looks. It is more looks.
ELLIS: I am attracted to, Drew, because of his looks.
PINSKY: I am attracted to Jason because for the same reason.
HEATHER MCDONALD: But, when you are the younger woman going out with the older guy, you are just telling yourself, oh my God, I am so intelligent, I
can carry on this conversation.
PINSKY: Right.
MCDONALD: He is so interested in me.
(CROSSTALK)
SEDAGHATFAR: No, you are doing it for money.
MCDONALD: Yeah. But--
SEDAGHATFAR: I think it is like a sugar daddy situation, when you have a 20 something with a 50 something, it is usually because they are getting
money or --
(CROSSTALK)
SCHACHER: Hey, Anahita, what about a 30 something with a 60 something.
SEDAGHATFAR: I do not know who you are talking about.
ELLIS: Oh!
PINSKY: But maybe the resources maybe--
ELLIS: Oh!
PINSKY: But there also might be some trauma stuff. You have got to worry there is something wrong.
(LAUGHTER)
SEDAGHATFAR: You guys --
ELLIS: I am having so much fun tonight.
(CROSSTALK)
SEDAGHATFAR: I do not know what you are talking about.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
PINSKY: I do not know how to respond to that. But, Sam, tweets have responded.
SCHACHER: Oh, my gosh. Yes. OK. A couple of tweets from Maria Gonzalez. "Let me guess, a man runs this dating site, #ageofattraction. And, from
Robin Lynn, "I am 42 and damn proud of my age. I am stronger and more confident. This dating site owner is so wrong."
PINSKY: I like older women, just for the record.
SCHACHER: All right, Dr. Drew.
PINSKY: For sure. That is what I am saying. Next up, college students were asked intimate -- were asked intimate details about their sex lives in
a mandatory college survey. Let us see what happens with that. And, later, what the heck is the Scroguard? We will explain, back after this.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ALI KERNS, FRESHMAN STUDENT AT CLEMSON UNIVERSITY: It definitely made you feel kind of awkward that they were asking this question.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
EMILY PACE, WSPA, 7 ON YOUR SIDE, HOST: The online course is part of a Title IX training module to help prevent sexual harassment.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KERNS: It would ask us how many times like we had participated in like drugs, alcohol, sex?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PACE: New students were required to complete the interactive survey before classes started back in August. But, Clemson has now suspended the program
after complaints from students calling it "A sex survey."
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SHANNON FINNING, CLEMSON ASSOCIATE VICE PRESIDENT OF STUDENT AFFAIRS: No, it is not a sex survey. This is an online training module, very much
focused on addressing issues of sexual harassment.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY: Back with Sam. Clemson eventually suspended the so-called sex survey after all the students complained, reasonably so.
SCHACHER: Yes. It is mandatory. It is not OK.
PINSKY: Take a look at this.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
PINSKY: The intent was to inform and educate, but some of the sample questions seemed to go a little too far. For instance very simply, "How
many times have you had sex (including oral) in the last three months?" "And, how many different people have you had sex (including oral) in the
last three months?" "How many people you had sex with?" Leeann, what do you think?
TWEEDEN: I mean Dr. Drew, I understand sort of their need to try to do something about the problem with sexual stuff that is happening on campus
and you know schools are being involved --
PINSKY: Abut what. What sexual what. I mean remember we did the story about the girl in Columbia with the mattress.
TWEEDEN: Right. She carry it --
PINSKY: I mean that story did catch attraction now that things happen on campuses that sort of go, "Oh well. Kids will be kids."
TWEEDEN: Right.
PINSKY: But, these are really serious health problems.
SCHACHER: Right.
TWEEDEN: Yes. It is a very serious issue, but I think they went about it all wrong.
SCHACHER: Yes.
TWEEDEN: Because really what does asking a student if they are having sex and how many times they have sex and if it is oral, what does that have to
do with trying to prevent sexual assault.
This has nothing to do with that invading their privacy, making students feel uncomfortable. How about we start with things that parents should
have started with, respecting other people. Maybe if you want to go a step farther.
And, I am not blaming victims, but maybe trying to say, "Hey, be more aware. If you are going to a party, try to not get blacked out drunk, so
may be you are not going to put yourself in that situation." But, asking them their sexual questions has nothing to do with helping them in their
sex survey.
PINSKY: All right.
SCHACHER: Yes.
TWEEDEN: That has nothing to do with anything.
PINSKY: OK. But, Sam, I heard you saying yes when I was saying this is a serious health issue.
SCHACHER: Well, yes. It is definitely serious health issues. I mean sexual assault and sexual violence is pervasive all over college campuses,
so as rape culture. So, I do like the idea that they are trying to --
PINSKY: Do something.
SCHACHER: -- gain some --
PINSKY: They are trying to do something.
SCHACHER: -- but, I agree with Leeann. No. Dr. Drew. I agree with Leeann. Why not have education about what constitutes consent. Why not
have -- make it not mandatory. I mean that is so --
PINSKY: But, you know what, though. The school colleges have been trying to educate about that kind of thing for the last decade. But Mike, they
are trying to collect some data now, so they understand what they are working with, at least. Maybe they can change things objectively to have a
data what they started with.
CATHERWOOD. Listen. Dr. Drew, no one is more of a supporter of like a scientific method applying that to social issues. I hear you. But, how
does knowing the amount of someone`s sexual activity and the amount of partners they have, how does that in any way predict whether or not they
are going to engage in sexual depravity or sometimes sexual --
PINSKY: Well --
CATHERWOOD: -- because, Dr. Drew, I mean, frankly, I know at least from an anecdotal sense, the guys that I know that have the most sexual experiences
were least likely to enact some type of sexual assault on people.
PINSKY: But, if this was a health survey, they were also -- look at yourself, man, they could have picked -- you know, found -- I am not saying
that you are a bad student, but they could have helped you from a health standpoint, you know what I mean?
CATHERWOOD: Yes. But, I mean I would still be filling that thing out if I had to take it back in 1998 when I was going in college. I mean that is
insane. But, I am also an extreme example. I feel like this is just another way of kind of ensconcing shame and ridicule about sex.
PINSKY: OK.
TWEEDEN: Right.
PINSKY: All right.
(CROSSTALKS)
TWEEDEN: I mean bottom line every college knows that kids are having sex and they know they are drinking and they are probably doing some drugs.
That is a fact.
PINSKY: But, Vanessa, every single adverse outcome you want to measure with kids. If they measured all these things, what they would have found,
they asked some appropriate questions along with all the sex question, which is such as "How often do you use alcohol." "How often do you use
drugs recreationally?" You know?
And, identifying scenarios that could be sexually coercive. So, they were, again, trying to measure their understanding of these things. And, the
fact is and every adverse outcome you could measure you find alcohol.
BARNETT: Right.
PINSKY: So, it is important for them to make that point.
CATHERWOOD: Did they ask --
BARNETT: The issue I have, though, is we want to applaud them for doing something to help with, you know, spreading awareness and prevention of
sexual assault. I do not think believe we should be applauding them doing the bare minimum.
They phoned it in. This is like a form, like a form you Google online and you give to people, that module. They could have really set aside some
time and made a test that had questions that were pertinent to the situation, not gynecological questions. What does that have to do with
anything?
(END VIDEOTAPE)
PINSKY: And, that is that. Next up, this video has over 1 million hits on YouTube. What in the world is a Scroguard? I will explain.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE SPEAKER: Scroguard. Because protection is everything. Part of the skin of your genital area has a cover. But most is still
exposed to your lover. Not anymore. Now there is scroguard.
A powerful new product that you can wear with any condom. The secret is the high quality premium latex that is thick enough to cover your genital
area but thin enough to feel like a second skin.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY: My favorite part is the explosion. I am back with Sam. Yes, that is a real thing. That is a real commercial. It is just too many
questions. So, I am just going to toss this to the panel. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
ALI NEJAD, HLN CORRESPONDENT: This is --I have so much to say about this. First off, how about that guy is voice that they are using. It is not a
390x infomercial. They are trying to make you feel like a bad-ass when you are wearing a latex girdle. Are you kidding me?
(LAUGHTER)
PINSKY: Yes.
NEJAD: They say it is reusable and re-washable. What else do you put in that load of laundry? And did you see the size of the hole? Are you
kidding me? I thought it was a kuzi (ph). What, are you supposed to put a Pepsi through there? What kind of girth are your working at --
PINSKY: And it is supposed to be used with a condom, right? Ali, is that how it works?
NEJAD: Yes.
PINSKY: And --I mean the idea --Emily, you and I have spent a lot of time talking to young people about STDs and about health risks of sexual
behavior.
EMILY ROBERTS, PSYCHOTHERAPIST: Yes.
PINSKY: It is a legitimate concern this thing is addressing.
EMILY ROBERTS, PSYCHOTHERAPIST: Yes.
PINSKY: I am trying to make this OK. And --
ROBERTS: The skin to skin contact, right?
PINSKY: There as well, there are virus in fluids, if you get what I am saying. And, so where fluids contact skin, the virus can get through. So,
it is herpes virus, HPV, human papilloma virus, even syphilis, these sorts of things. Although, the syphilis is more skin to skin.
And how do you talk to young people about these sorts of issues? Do you say -- there is a list of contagions. And, that is another thing that you
can get --it is a very serious condition. Is this where we are going? Is this legitimate? You help me, Emily.
ROBERTS: But with the rise in HPV, right, and the rise in cervical cancer, we are seeing a lot more people who are being a little bit more protective,
right?
PINSKY: Why are not they taking the vaccine? And that prevents it completely.
ROBERTS: That is a great question, and I agree with you on that, I absolutely agree with you on that, and there is a lot of people who would
want to hook up and they do not want to take the ramifications or they do not think it is for them.
But we have to have the conversation about, OK, if you are going to hook up, can we at least protect each other a little bit more? Even if you look
kind of ridiculous wearing this adult diaper?
At the end of the day, what is it doing, it is keeping you from going to Planned Parenthood or going to have a baby, essentially, well --but let us
be honest here, by yourself. You do not know everyone -- I mean they do not know everything about each other. Until there is an app out there that
can at least tell us, what is going on, let us wear these adult diapers, come on.
(CROSSTALK)
PINSKY: There is a ton packed into what Emily just said. Now, Vanessa, first of all, get your --put your mouth back --up again, your mouth was
dropped a bit in this. Go ahead, what are you thinking?
BARNETT: There is nothing sexy about this. Nothing about this screams, let us get it on. First of all, it is a thong that is going up that man is
butt.
ROBERTS: But there is nothing sexy about herpes.
BARNETT: There is nothing sexy about herpes, so if you think the person you are about to get with, if you even think like there is a millimeter of
thought that this man might have it or this woman might have it, let us just not sleep together. Let us go get some --
(CROSSTALK)
ROBERTS: It is happening. Let us think about that.
(CROSSTALK)
BARNETT: I can guarantee you, I put money on it.
PINSKY: Sam? Sam, they can also take anti-viral medication.
SCHACHER: Yes.
PINSKY: They could take the HPV vaccine. They could --you know, there are things to be done other than wearing some --
SCHACHER: It looks like partly, like something that is a sumo wrestler would wear. And --
PINSKY: Yeah, something --it is made out of rubber.
SCHACHER: Yes, and then like that mask that Hannibal Lector wears, but instead it goes on the penis area. I am sorry. It is scary. I like the
idea of added protection.
I like the idea --I think that if you are in a long-term relationship and maybe somebody has genital warts you would use this, because you love them
and you would not care. --
PINSKY: No, no.
SCHACHER: But what do you mean? You would be more open to it. But if it was a fling, it is atrocious, and I think it will scare people.
PINSKY: You get the vaccine. Ali. Ali --
BARNETT: I blame Ebola for this.
(LAUGHING)
(END VIDEOTAPE)
PINSKY: Ebola will be blamed even back then.
SCHACHER: Yes. What did Ebola do? Geez.
PINSKY: You have got tweets.
SCHACHER: Yes. I do. OK. So, coming in from Kristen. She said, "You can hardly get guys to wear a condom. They definitely not going to wear a
scroguard." From Karen, "Scoguard should be named "It. Wear this and never get laid. Perfect birth control. Wear and no women will ever sleep
with you."
PINSKY: There we go.
SCHACHER: Ouch!
PINSKY: That is how to control pregnancy and STDs all in one.
SCHACHER: Yes.
PINSKY: Plastic disgusting underwear.
SCHACHER: And, how do you know it really works, though, Dr. Drew?
PINSKY: It is a great point. It has probably not been studied.
SCHACHER: Oh, great.
PINSKY: I know of no safe sex studies that use a Scroguard. No, that I know of any that are planned. So, Sam, thank you for joining me on this
journey. This was fun and interesting.
SCHACHER: Thank you.
PINSKY: Finally, we dedicated a show to sex.
SCHCHER: It is good. It should not be taboo.
PINSKY: No. It should be easy for us to talk about, though it is entertaining at the same time.
SCHACHER: Yes.
PINSKY: DVR us right now then you can watch us anytime. Thank you for watching. Have a good night.
END
