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Dr. Drew
Mental Illness Meets Social Media; People With Mental Illness Shares Their Pain On Social Media; Kelley, Who Is Currently Under Medical Treatment For Bipolar Disorder, Threaten By Her Family To Leave Her If She Does Not Commit To Additional Help; Kelley Has Been Prescribed Medication For Her Disorders, But She Struggles To Take Them Consistently; Andrew Uses Social Media To Vent Out What He Is Feeling Inside; Andrew Is Suffering From Depression After The Suicide Of His Brother; Andrew Warned His Father That He Is At Risk Of Losing Another Son
Aired May 05, 2015 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
DR. DREW PINSKY, HLN HOST OF "DR. DREW ON CALL" SHOW: Good evening. I am Dr. Drew. More than 43 million adults suffer from some form of mental
illness. It is bizarre that we treat brain diseases different than diseases of other organs. It is bizarre that we stigmatize people with
these disorders, and it is wrong that we allow this to continue.
Mental illness is not a choice any more than it is to have any other illness such as cancer. And, of course, like any other illness, mental
health and mental illness is treatable. May is mental health month. As part of HLN`s initiative, we present "#RedFlag."
It is a special one-hour documentary about real people with real problems. And, what happens when mental illness meets social media. And,
we will be live tweeting, using the #RedFlag.
And, as you watch this program, know you are and your loved ones are not alone. There are people and services to help. And that those with
mental illness can and of course do get better. They get better with treatment.
After the show, I will be back with our regulars, and we will answer your questions and tweets and discuss what all of us can do to address
mental illness. "#RedFlag" starts now.
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[The following subjects have agreed to participate in a documentary about mental illness. Like many who suffer today, they share their pain on
social media.]
[Now, it is time they confront their illness in real life]
(END VIDEO CAPTION]
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY, 31-YEAR-OLD FEMALE WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER: There are lots of Klonopin.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: I post all day on my social media. I just want to find other people that are bipolar like me.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: You all are just making my brain hurt.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TERRY, KELLEY`S MOTHER-IN-LAW: You need to get the help and you have to stick with it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GREG, KELLEY`S HUSBAND: If she does not do therapy, I will have to move on. And, I will choose him over you.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW, 21-YEAR-OLD MALE SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION: Five years ago, my brother Michael committed suicide. And, the first thing I wanted to do
is I wanted to end my life.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MATT, ANDREW`S BROTHER: He uses social media to vent out what he is feeling inside. He is sick. He needs help.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ROD, ANDREW`S FATHER: It is not your father`s fault that things are in this situation.
ANDREW: I got to get out of here.
MATT: He is a ticking time bomb.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: Oh my God! (INAUDIBLE)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: My name is Kelley. I am 31 years old.
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Kelley is currently under medical treatment for bipolar disorder.]
[This week, her family will threaten to leave her if she does not commit to additional help.]
(END VIDEO CAPTION
KELLEY: I had a pretty traumatic childhood. My mom was bipolar. It made me feel really scared.
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Family genetics is one of the strongest and most consistent risk factors for bipolar disorder. This contributes to it being passed down
through generations. - Denise P. Federer, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist]
(END VIDEO CAPTION)
KELLEY: And, then when I was a teenager, I was raped. It made me feel detached from my own body. I post all day, every day on my social
media because I just want to, you know, be heard.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: Tell me why you do not look so happy?
KELLEY: Because I just took my medicine and it is not working right.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG, KELLEY`S HUSBAND: Kelley and I, when we first met, we just hit it off. Kelley was just -- she was so outgoing, a magnetic personality. I
fell in love with Kelley almost instantly.
KELLEY: Greg made me feel like I was worth something, you know? I never had that feeling before. Greg is like the ultimate love of my life.
We have two kids, Isabella and J.J.
GREG: Isabella is 10 years old. J.J is 8 years old.
KELLEY: After I had J.J., it is like my brain started slowly slipping away from who I was into this other person.
GREG: There was a change in Kelley emotionally. She was easier to anger. She retreated in. She just was not herself.
KELLEY: I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder.
GREG: Kelley came from a broken home. I know it is one of the reasons that has made the bipolar worse.
KELLEY: Whenever I do not feel anything, you know, I will cut my arm like with a steak knife. I feel a release while I am doing it. But
afterwards, all I will feel is pain. Greg started taking away the knives. He is worried about coming home and finding me dead.
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[For more than five years, Kelley has been prescribed medication for her disorders, but she struggles to take them consistently]
(END VIDEO CAPTION)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: I really just want to go back to the therapist`s office. I do not want to be out here with everybody.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: I like to post my feelings. I hash tag, you know, bipolar and depression and stuff like that, because I just want to find other
people that are bipolar like me.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: If you are happy and you know, take your meds
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: Yehey! It is KTV. It is time for one of you all`s favorite number one hit. The first, let`s take some Klonopins.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: Everything I post affects Greg, because he checks my pages. And, you know, sometimes I will say bad things about him. Sometimes I feel
like my family would be better off without me.
GREG: I feel like I am at my wit`s end where physically, mentally, I am exhausted.
TERRY, KELLEY`S MOTHER-IN-LAW: Greg is mother and father to Izzy and JJ and kind of like mother-father also to Kelley.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: Move, so I can help them out.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Greg told Kelley she needs to start therapy and stay on her medication, since her behavior is affecting their children and marriage.]
KELLEY: My marriage is about to crumble. You know, my kids are hurting. Without Greg and the kids, I do not know how long I would last.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
(BEGIN VIDEO TAPE)
ANDREW, 21-YEAR-OLD MALE SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION: My name is Andrew. I am 21 years old.
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Andrew is suffering from depression after the suicide of his brother.]
[This week, Andrew will warn his father that he is at risk of losing another son.]
ANDREW: Growing up, I had the all American family. I had three brothers. Brian, he was the oldest brother, followed by Mike then Matt,
then me. As I was growing up, me and Mike had more of a closer relationship than my other brothers. Our moods would really effect each
other a lot.
CAROL, ANDREW`S MOTHER: They -- they got along great. They just -- they always did.
ANDREW: Five years ago, my brother Michael committed suicide at the age of 24; by the way of a gun at a shooting range. Ever since then, my
family has just -- it has not been the same.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ROD, ANDREW`S FATHER: This is when the time he needed me.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ROD: Mike was suffering from some physical issues. He had had back surgery, and he had ongoing pain from that. And, so he was on a lot of
pain medication.
ANDREW: There should have been something done way earlier to intervene and give Michael some help. And, I think that my parents did not
pay enough attention. So, you know, maybe the medications he was on or how much he was taking. And, I am on some of the same medications today.
Some of the mental illnesses or disorders that I suffer from have been anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress disorder, back issues.
Definitely chronic insomnia. And, Twitter has been my source of kind of venting and therapy almost in a way these last few years.
MATT, ANDREW`S BROTHER: He uses social media as a platform to vent out what he is, you know, truly feeling inside. Because he does not know
how to communicate it to his parents.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: Hi, mom. Are you ready to take medication?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: Since Mike`s passing, my mom`s health definitely took a turn for the worst. My dad has pulled away more and more over the past few
years. I actually dropped out of college so that I can move back home to take care of my mom. She has anxiety and depression and different physical
disabilities.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: Hey, mom, I know you were not hungry but you want at least a couple of bites of sandwich?
CAROL: Maybe, just put foil over one for now.
ANDREW: Are you sure?
CAROL: I do not feel like eating it right now.
ANDREW: OK.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[People with depressive illness cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last weeks,
months or years. - Psychology Today]
(END VIDEO CAPTION)
ANDREW: Because my mother and I both suffer from anxiety and depression, it is hard when I am trying to be positive with her and take
care of her, and she is just giving me nothing but negativity back. This house is a toxic environment.
MATT: Lately, he is exhibiting even more bizarre behavior.
My friends who follow Andrew on social media and would comment like, you know, "What is wrong with Andrew?"
"Have you seen some of the things he has been posting lately?"
ANDREW: After Mike`s death, all I can think about was that my brother was not here anymore, and that my mom is just like a wreck. And, all these
things have mounted up and I was alone in my thoughts. And, the first thing I wanted to do is I wanted to end my life.
MATT: Andrew`s health is at stake. I am afraid that if Andrew does not seek help, get out of the house that he will fall into the same fate as
Mike. He is a ticking time bomb.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
ANDREW: My brother committed suicide five years ago. This house, it is like a tomb. I feel like I am at a greater risk for suicide. Living at
home, I do not think I am going the make it out of here.
"Celebrating Mike`s birthday today. Keep watching over us. Love Andrew."
Mike had left behind a suicide note. "Dear family, I am so very, very sorry. It was no one`s fault but mine. Please forgive me and pray for my
soul. Take care of mom when she is sick."
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[SURVIVOR`S GUILT: Survivors of suicide loss experience additional challenges, such as shame. guilt over being unable to prevent the death,
and a preoccupation with understanding why the death occurred. - Harvard Health Publications]
MATT: My relation with Andrew, I compare it more to a father-son relationship than brothers. So for Mike`s birthday, I wanted to, you know,
talk to Andrew about how to move on.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MATT: Are you feeling just like mentally -- like everything is OK?
ANDREW: Sleeping was kind of weird. Just anticipating the day, you know?
MATT: I had a hard time just going to group this last Wednesday. It was a heavy one, because --
ANDREW: Survivors group?
MATT: Survivors group, yeah. The whole idea is to get people just talking and to open up and communicate.
ANDREW: First ever.
MATT: It is the first step in the grieving process. It is the first and third Wednesday of each month.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Group therapy can be valuable to some people as a form of treatment who are learning more effective coping skills by sharing their feelings
with others who have had a similar trauma. - Denise P. Federer, Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist]
(END VIDEO CAPTION)
MATT: Andrew has been hesitant to get therapy. He needs to learn how to let go of any guilt he has in regards to Mike or our mom.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: We pushed Mike away. And, I think that if mom were to be like taken care of by dad, like what if dad, you know, decides "All right,
I cannot do anything for mom," like when he pushes her away?"
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: The status of my parents` marriage is -- it is almost like they are separated but live in the same house. I am constantly reminded
that I got to be the caretaker of my mom, and my dad is not going to accept that responsibility.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MATT: I think it is best for all of us, you know, to have a sit down, talk about this. I think the best gift we can give for Mike today on his
birthday is showing that we are progressing as a family.
ANDREW: Yes. Whether it is happy or sad, we need to address some issues.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: So, I woke up this morning, and the first thought in my head was I want to die, which is weird, because I went into bed last night
feeling OK and happy.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: Getting Kelley to interact with the kids can be a fairly hard thing sometimes. It is never an easy process. And, now it is getting to
the point where it is unbearable. I am frustrated with her because we can get a handle on this if we work together. It is slowly tearing the family
apart.
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[One of Kelley`s biggest triggers is when her children are loud and acting out, so she struggles to play with them.]
(END VIDEO CAPTION)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: Well, why will not you talk to me?
J.J.: Because I just want to be alone.
KELLEY: You do not want me over here with you?
J.J.: I want to be alone.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: Knowing that I affect my kids in such a horrible way, it does push me over the edge.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: See, he keeps running to me.
KELLEY: I do not see what you freakin` want from me.
GREG: All I am trying to show you is he keeps running to me.
KELLEY: OK. Well, what am I supposed to do about that?
GREG: In all honesty, if you were in it more, you know.
KELLEY: Oh my God. I will (EXPLETIVE WORD) leave.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: I just feel like I am not good enough. I feel like they just do not want me there.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: You get what I was trying to say with that, right?
KELLEY: I get what you were trying to say.
GREG: All I am asking is you to be there more. You know what I am saying? That is really all I am asking.
KELLEY: But when I am feeling like I want to hurt myself, do you really think I want to be like pushing them on a swing or getting too close
to them? So, I mean how am I supposed to be like this perfect mom? Something as little as my son not wanting to have nothing to do with me is
going to make me want to go into the bathroom and cut myself.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(ENDV IDEOTAPE)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: Something as little as my son not wanting nothing to do with me is going to make me go into the bathroom and cut myself, because I am
going to feel like a horrible mother.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: The kids have a tendency that they can trigger some of the bipolar and the mania. And, Kelley will take herself out instead of trying
to sit back and deal with it or talk to us. You know, that is when she kind of bolts.
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Being rejected by her children is another trigger for Kelley.]
[In the past, this has pushed Kelley into a deeper depression causing her to self-harm.]
(END VIDEO CAPTION)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: You know, I cannot promise what the future is going to bring. I mean, if I do not know who I am whenever I wake up, how can I promise you
anything?
GREG: But you are not even giving yourself the opportunity to, you know, prove yourself.
KELLEY: Because I just want to run away from it. One second, I might feel OK, and then the next second I am flipping the freak out. So, it is
like my mind is going a million miles a minute.
GREG: These kids need you now. They need you to give it everything you have. Give them the childhood that you did not have.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: She did not have two loving parents that protected her. I know with that and the bipolar, it makes it really hard.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: You are slowly abandoning your children.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: J.J. and Isabella do not deserve to deal with, you know, the bipolar side of things. I cannot be, you know, everything that everybody
wants me to be because I do not even know myself anymore.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: Maybe I feel like they are safer with me kind of at a distance.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: I am tired of seeing the kids hurt. I am tired of being hurt. She needs to realize what is important, and you know, and I am sick and
tired of it.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
ANDREW: My brother committed suicide five years ago, and we never moved on from it as a family at all.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ROD: It is your brother and our son --
CAROL: Happy birthday to Mike.
ROD: Happy birthday.
ANDREW: 30th birthday.
ROD: You are 30 years old, Mike.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Andrew has been his mother`s main caretaker, but now he wants a break to treat his own depression.]
[Today, Andrew is going to confront his father to help, or risk losing another son.]
(END VIDEO CAPTION)
ANDREW: For me to get better, I need support from my parents. So, I am extremely nervous going into this dinner, but I have a hope that my dad
might hear me for once.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ROD: You know, it would be a good idea to go ahead and to talk a little. Talk about some good things.
ANDREW: Like remembering Mike?
ROD: Yes.
ANDREW: I remember just when he first got his license, we were in the old 1988 Acura.
ROD: Yeah.
ANDREW: And we were on our way home, like he was trying to play like the -- you know one of the rock songs he always liked to listen to. And,
then the radio broke, and it was on full blast the entire way home. I was crawling in my skin like all the way home, just like yelling in your ears.
It is funny when I think about it.
ROD: Carol, can you give us an example of a memorable moment?
CAROL: No.
ANDREW: Why not?
MATT: Why not?
ROD: We had plenty of them.
CAROL: I just do not want to now.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Stages of grief could be prolonged when losing a loved one through suicide. But when a person has not returned to normal activities after one
year, they may be experiencing Persistent Complex Bereavement Disorder. - Denise P. Federer, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist]
(END VIDEO CAPTION)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ROD: We cannot change how he died. We cannot change how what led up to that.
MATT: What I am afraid of is that his death is going to define what the remainder of this family is.
ROD: That is a good point.
ANDREW: I guess one thing that has kind of been bugging me and I have been holding back, I want to make it clear that if I am going to get
better, I mean it has to be a positive environment. It has to be more of a home. And, I know that starts with me, but it also starts when we got to
get mom healthier. And, I want you to be a role in that.
ROD: What are your plans?
ANDREW: I cannot stay here 24/7 for the rest of my life until she gets better.
ROD: No --
ANDREW: We need to approach it, though --
CAROL: (Sobbing)
ANDREW: Are you all right?
MATT: Ok, mom?
ROD: You all right?
MATT: The bottom line is let go of Andrew and let him pursue his life because you guys are eventually at the end of the day are going to have to
take care of each other and hold each other accountable.
ROD: I am being parented here a little bit here.
MATT: But you are going to have to learn how to live together, though, and be able to take care of each other.
ROD: So, how do we end our dinner?
MATT: How do we end our dinner?
ROD: Yeah. I mean this dinner on. What do we end it up? What is the note to end this dinner on?
MATT: I think it is a promise to one another what we ended up. Mom?
ANDREW: Mom?
MATT: Mom.
ROD: I figured this was going to happen.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: I do not know if I am going to get the support that I need from my parents. I do not know how much longer I can take it.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY (singing): It`s raining men. Hallelujah! It`s raining men!
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
J.J.: Hello.
TERRY: Hello.
GREG: Oh, God, that looks good.
KELLEY: It does?
ISABELLA: Hey.
TERRY: Hey.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
TERRY: Greg, Kelley and the kids are coming over for lunch today, and hopefully I can talk to Kelley about getting help for herself.
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Kelley knows her bipolar disorder is affecting her children and tearing her marriage apart.]
[Today, Kelley will be given an ultimatum, to seek therapy or risk losing her family.]
(END VIDEO CAPTION)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TERRY: How you doing?
KELLEY: I am all right. I mean I am on that new medicine. And, I feel a lot better than I did.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
TERRY: My husband and I have been financially supporting Greg and Kelley for about a year because Kelley is always calling him at work,
threatening to kill herself.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TERRY: You know we all want you to get the help that you need. When you are on some of the medicines, you are a lovable person. But when you
are off of it, nobody wants to be around you.
KELLEY: Because I do not think you know exactly what bipolar is.
TERRY: I do not mind helping out financially, so he can find a job. But these two are the innocent ones in all of this.
GREG: Isabella is strong, you know that. Look at how she bottles up her emotions. I do not know how many times you have come in and said,
"Mommy got a knife." do you want to have to say that to me?
ISABELLA: No.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
J.J.: I worry about my mom really much. Because when she tries to hurt herself, die, I just start getting mad and start getting sad too.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: J.J., you know, you have seen him hitting himself and pinching himself.
(ENDV IDEO CLIP)
GREG: When he gets angry, it goes towards violence.
ISABELLA: My mom and my brother have some similar personalities.
J.J.: We have the same brain because we both want, like kill ourselves.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE PRODUCER: What does that mean?
J.J.: When she says that, it just makes me want to. And, it makes me like I have to pass out.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
J.J.: I just really do not like my life.
GREG: Why?
J.J.: It just makes me just want to hurt myself.
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[When diagnosing a child`s behavioral disorder, one cannot underestimate the powerful impact of negative parental role-modeling or
self-destructive behavior. - Denise O. Federer, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist]
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TERRY: J.J., you want to tell me why you hit yourself in the head?
J.J.: I think there is something wrong with me.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: As his father, it scares me to death. I want to get him help now.
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Greg is confronting Kelley about how her bipolar behaviors are affecting their children. He is ready to deliver his final ultimatum.]
(END VIDEO CAPTION)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: I mean, I do not ever want to be without you. But these kids are my life. If it got to that point, I would choose them over you.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: If she does not do therapy, I would have to for the kids, you know, move on.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: I feel like I need to apologize for myself, but it is like I am apologizing for somebody else at the same time.
TERRY: That is why you need to get the help and you have to stick with it.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MATT: Air ball.
ANDREW: Wow. Can two guys be this bad at basketball?
MATT: Oh, it is possible.
(END VIDEO CALIP)
MATT: Because things have been so hard for Andrew lately, I have been wanting to spend more time with him, step in and just get him out of the
house.
MATT: Aw, just the wind.
ANDREW: All right. Awesome together.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Last night at the family dinner, their parents would not agree to family therapy.]
[Matt is pursuing his own therapy and has asked Andrew to join him.]
(END VIDEO CAPTION)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MATT: What do you think about the dinner last night?
ANDREW: Yes. I do not know where we go from here. I mean I think it might have gotten to dad a little bit. But I do not -- maybe. But, I do
not really see mom -- I do not see her taking any of that in.
MATT: I literally plead to dad, it is like you need to step up. And, it is just -- there has been too many times, you know, where he just has
not like delivered.
ANDREW: Yes.
MATT: You have to find -- search deep down within yourself, Andrew, and really at this point get the hell out of the house.
ANDREW: I do not know. I think about the note from Mike, like. I just have to "take care of mom" line.
MATT: I have seen what has happened to you in the last year. And, let me tell you something. A lot of it reminds me so much of Mike in his
last year.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
MATT: I think Andrew uses social media to express how he is feeling because he does not know how to communicate it to our dad. It is part of
his fear of being -- feeling shamed or judged. And, I believe that comes from the stigma that is still attached to mental illness and in particular
suicide.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MATT: The day he died and stuff, and I remember, like, being there at the range. And I was just going to wait for him until he was done
shooting. I could hear from the (EXPLETIVE WORDS) clerk behind the counter that he had committed suicide.
And, I go in there and I see his body like lying there. There is literally a softball-sized wound in his forehead, you know. And it still
stays with me. I lost my big brother, you know. And, I do not want to see it happen to you. You know I do not.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: Hearing that, it really -- it really bothered me, but it woke me up.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MATT: If we are going to make it through this, we have to be together, man, you and I.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: I know the only way out of this is together. If I am going to set deadlines and goals for me to get better, then my dad has to take
some accountability for my mom`s health, so I can move out and go to group therapy with Matt.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: I hope to have a happy time with mom and dad again. But, I know that is not guaranteed. I understand that.
MATT: It is really going to be really hard letting go like that. We are doing this to like get ourselves healthy.
ANDREW: I know. You are right.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: I do not know why I am afraid to be myself sometimes. It is because I cannot stand up for myself sometimes. Sometimes, I feel alone in
a crowded room.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: The kids, they have a lot of energy. And, one thing that I do with them is we horseplay.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
J.J: Attack the monster!
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: Some of my triggers are loud noises, screams, normal everyday kids can trigger me. My bipolar will not let me be the mom that they want
me to be.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
J.J.: Stop doing that. It is not hurting you, though.
GREG: What is wrong?
KELLEY: I do not know. You all are just yelling and fighting and stuff. And, it is just making my brain hurts.
J.J.: Do that.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: Watching Kelley get to that point, I know it hurts the kids, because they know part of the reason she is triggering because they are
just being themselves.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: I will be back.
GREG: Where are you going?
J.J.: I think she is going to get into a car accident.
GREG: Do not say that.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: It is terrifying that she will jump in the vehicle and just drive off while when she is not in her right mind.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: My family needs me. They deserve a better mom. I do not want them to turn out like this. I need help. I want somebody to help me.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: I need to be a strong mother for Isabella and J.J. I do not want to lose them. I am willing to do anything to make it better for them.
So, I need therapy. It is going to be hard to say goodbye to the old Kelley, to the one that had the bad past and everything. But, in order to
have a better future, I need to say goodbye to her.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: Watch out for that. Watch out for that.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: I just want my family to know, you know, that I love them and that I am going to try as hard as I can.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: I just need to get help.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: I need to work out all these things that happened to me to be able for the medicine to work too. I need to tie in the therapy with the
medicine for it to work.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: I love you.
KELLEY: I love you too.
GREG: She is the love of my life. I go with her to counseling, get the kids into counseling. Because I know all they have seen, they are
going to need something. If she does do therapy and, you know, like she says she wants to, I have nothing but hope for the future for us and for
this family to survive.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: Comfortable?
ISABELLA: Uh-huh.
KELLEY: I love you.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: I think by seeing my kids have a better childhood, I can kind of experience what a good childhood is like because I never had one. And,
I think by them being happy and them having a mom that really loves them and a dad that really loves them, I am going to get to see something I
never had a chance to see.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: Today we had a pretty serious conversation about my bipolar disorder and the effects it has on my family, and I have learned a lot of
stuff. And, I need to change right now like immediately.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(END VIDEOTAPE)
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
ANDREW: It is very difficult to stand up for myself to my dad, but I do not feel that I am capable, especially right now of taking care of my
mom anymore. I do not see myself getting better if my dad keeps putting this responsibility on me and I cannot get out of here.
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Andrew and Matt are having a family dinner and will confront their parents about Andrew`s moving out.]
(END VIDEO CAPTION)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MATT: So, I was talking to Andrew earlier today. He does want to start going to the Survivors Group Therapy sessions with me.
CAROL: Oh really?
ANDREW: I was just wondering if I can find someone that would also be open to doing like a group session.
CAROL: No. No.
ANDREW: I think it would be good for us to go together.
CAROL: That will be good for you guys. It just did not work out for me.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: My mom shut me down pretty instantly. She does not even want to hear what anyone was saying. She just wanted to close herself down and
not be a part of the conversation.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: Obviously, I am trying to get better right now. So, I need that support.
MATT: So, the thing is he is not going to be around 24/7 to be able to help you out all the time.
CAROL: I know. I know.
MATT: But, in that meantime, dad, what are you going to do as far as helping out when we are unavailable?
ROD: Well --
ANDREW: I want, like, a firm commitment that even within a couple of weeks from now, like let us at least try to explore those options of an
assisted care of something available.
ROD: We just started talking about this. So, that is not exactly what I expected to hear. You are moving from -- let us get on the same
page to I am moving out to I am not going to be comfortable unless you have got something in place in two months.
MATT: Bottom line, he needs to get out. He is sick. He needs the help and he needs to take care of himself.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
MATT: My dad needs to recognize the situation that is at stake right now.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MATT: Let me be honest.
ROD: All right.
MATT: I have had thoughts about taking my life, you know. I still do.
ROD: And, why is that?
MATT: Because I was right (EXPLETIVE WORD) there when he shut his (EXPLETIVE WORD) his damn head off. And, I am so terrified sometimes I am
going to -- that I am going to go down the same road as Mike.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(END VIDEOTAPE)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Andrew has challenged his father to join family therapy to elp cope with depression, following his older brother`s suicide.]
[Just now, Andrew`s brother, Matt, has revealed he also has suicidal thoughts.]
(END VIDEO CAPTION)
MATT: I am so terrified sometimes I am going to that I am going to go down the same road as mike. Because what I saw when he died that day, like
how (EXPLETIVE WORD) easy it is.
ROD: Oh, it is easy.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: Hearing that Matt has suicidal thoughts, I want to be stronger for him, so I can help him deal with that and go through these
sessions together and heal each other together as brothers.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: We all need to be able to let go. Let us take care of the sons that we have now and let us take care of mom.
MATT: I am not trying to put anybody here on the spot. Have some sort of unity again or at least come close to it, you know?
ROD: I think that this is not do or die tonight, all right?
ANDREW: So, what is your plan?
ROD: If it is about excuse finding or being accountable for some past actions, we are not going to get anywhere. It is not your father`s fault
that things are in this situation.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: My dad did not even acknowledge that Matt had thoughts of suicide. That killed me inside. It made me realize that when I have my
thoughts of suicide, he is going to brush it off too. And, I am not going to get help from him.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ROD: I just do not believe in going back and figuring out who wounded who?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: I guess I am worried that none of this is going to come true.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ROD: Well, that means this past is something that we have to get over, is not it?
ANDREW: Yes, it is. But we are not going to get over it if next week nothing (EXPLETIVE WORD) happen.
ROD: Well, that is the thing that I think you have to hold out for.
ANDREW: Again, if we do not get this unity, I have got to get out of here. I am sorry.
ROD: I understand that. I think that is been made clear.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: Suicide is not the option for me. That is not the way out I am taking out of this life. I realize it is not going to change at all in
this house. And my dad and my mom, they are not here for me. The person that is here for me is Matt.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MATT: We tried. It is not over.
ANDREW: I am not going to let myself slip because of them.
MATT: Just hold on with me, man. OK? I am concerned about you. And, I want you to get therapy with me, OK? Just like myself, still.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: What is next is that I need to make the initiative to get myself help for me to get better and to go to group therapy with Matt.
I know it is not going to happen overnight. But mentally and physically I need to be strong enough. And, I am going to.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MATT: I love you, brother, I really do.
ANDREW: I love you, brother.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Two months later.]
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: We can take, like, I guess one, two -- at least three of them.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: I feel that I am, you know, maybe a little bit better, but it is still a battle that I have to maintain with myself every day.
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Andrew opted out of the care of a clinical psychologist, and his parents have not voiced a desire to partake in family therapy.]
MATT: Thank you. I appreciate it. OK. Go ahead. Grab it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW: The thing that scares me the most is I do not -- I do not want to end up with a gun in my hand like Mike did. And, I want to prove
to people that I am not going to.
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Andrew is taking steps to move out of the house and return to college to finish a degree in business.]
(END VIDEO CAPTION)
ANDREW: I started to tweet more in a positive light. I could say most of the reception that I get is people that are actually generally
supportive of me getting better because they know that I am going through a lot. Anyone has with mental depression or illness and I just kind of use
that to help others.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: OK, so I am heading back from my psychologist appointment. We sat there and thought about different ways to handle my thoughts. I
feel good.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Kelley is currently stabilized on her bipolar medications and is under a psychologist`s care.]
(END VIDEO CAPTION)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: I just wanted to send a shout out the to the bipolar community on Instagram, "Hello." I just want you could to know I am here
to talk if you need me.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: Come on, JJ. You cannot get me!
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: I guess I kind of see myself today is I am not a lost cause. There is still good in me. I feel like a healthier person.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ISABELLA: Mommy go!
GREG: Let them go at it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG: My relationship with Kelley is stronger. I do see those glimmers come out of, you know, that loving carefree Kelley shows she is in
there.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: I love you, Ba.
J.J.: Love you.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CAPTION)
[Kelley has taken a break from social media to spend more time with her husband and children.]
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KELLEY: Can I tell you something?
J.J.: Yeah?
KELLEY: I love you!
END
