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Dr. Drew
A Woman Catches Her Husband Cheating With A Man And A Famous Televangelist Says, "That Is OK"; Masturbation Workshop Is Making The Rounds At College Campuses Across The Country; People In Thailand Are Making Ink Derived From Lungs Of Actual Smokers` Lungs And Deriving A Special Ink To Show What It Looks Like The Damage That Is Done To Individuals Who Stops Smoking; A Law Professor Is Under A The Lot Of Scrutiny Because She Accidentally Sent Out Some Anal Bead Porn To Students Of Hers And Other Faculty At The School; New Dildos That Turns To Urns For Ashes Of A Dead Person
Aired May 21, 2015 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
(21:00:13) DR. DREW PINSKY, HLN HOST: Tonight a woman catches her husband cheating with a man. A famous televangelist says, "That is OK."
And the Twitter verse thinks otherwise. Plus, masturbation workshop is making the rounds at college campuses across the country. And, this all
starts right now.
(MUSIC INTRODUCTION)
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
PINSKY: Let us get started with the "Top of the Feed." Women, what would you do if your husband cheated on you with a man? That question was
asked to Preacher Pat Robertson on "The 700 Club." Take a look at this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CAROL: My husband and I are Christians and have been together for 11 years. Recently, I found out he cheated on me with a male Christian friend
in our church. He says it was a mistake that it just happened while they were drunk, and he wants me to forgive him. I do not know if I can. What
should I do?
PREACHER PAT ROBERTSON, "THE 700 CLUB" HOST: You have been married for 11 years, this guy got drunk --
CAROL: But with a male friend from church, that is kind of strange.
ROBERTSON: Well, he did not know what he is dealing with. She says, should I forgive? Of course you should. If he were this way all the time,
if he is a habitual drunk, if he is a habitual homosexual -- or all the rest of it then by all means, take a hike. But one time, 11 years, do not
throw all that away.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY: Joining us Spirit, psychotherapist, Mike Catherwood, my co- host on "Love Line," and Vanessa Barnett from Hiphollywood.com. Mike, I am all for preserving marriage, and the sanctity of marriage, but what do you
think of Pat Robertson`s advice?
MIKE CATHERWOOD, CO-HOST OF "LOVE LINE": Well, Drew, we know, some people are not habitual homosexuals, you know.
(LAUGHING)
PINSKY: Part time?
CATHERWOOD: Yes. Well, listen --
PINSKY: It is what Adam Corolla call, half-mo.
CATHERWOOD: Half-mo, yes. Pat Robertson is a dangerous guy. I cannot believe he is still a alive. And, I cannot believe "The 700 Club"
is still a thing. And, I am being serious. If you are into organized religion, that is your thing. And, if it makes your live better, that is
awesome.
But, for him he is constantly giving out dangerous advice. He has no idea what he is talking about. There are videos of him telling women that
they should not listen to their doctors because God will save them. Who knows what happened to them?
And, this is another example of where he is totally out of touch. Who cares of who he cheated with? The fact is that he got drunk and he
cheated. How many guys have gone home to their wives and they are like, "Honey, I made a mistake. I cheated on you, but I was so drunk." It is
not an excuse.
PINSKY: It is not an excuse.
SPIRIT CLANTON, PSYCHOTHERAPIST: This takes situation in totally different level, Dr. Drew, that it is a man.
PINSKY: Yes.
CLANTON: This is not, "Oh, I went out and I had an affair with, you know, the bible study lady at the church. This is a totally different
issue."
PINSKY: Well, it means that he got some issues with his sexual orientation in addition.
CLANTON: That is another issue. It could just mean that he has not told her about the issue.
PINSKY: Right. And, so, him to say, "Hey, listen. Eleven years of marriage, just stick it out. It just happened once. Keep moving." No, we
got some Houston. We have a problem. What does this mean for us? What does this mean for you? And then let me decide if I want to go forward and
continue to be married.
CATHERWOOD: It speaks to a bigger problem. I am sorry to interrupt. But, I will say that it is guys like Pat Robertson and, you know, you
notice that the young lady she led off her e-mail --
PINSKY: Yes.
CATHERWOOD: -- with, Pat, we are Christians, OK?
PINSKY: Yes.
CATHERWOOD: So, and he met this young man in a church.
CLANTON: Was he Christian when he was drinking?
CATHERWOOD: Was he Christian when (EXPLETIVE WORD)? And, the truth is that most likely he is a gay male who has to live in the closet because
he is scared of what will happen by this incredibly rigid religious right.
PINSKY: Right. That is right.
VANESSA BARNETT, SOCIAL COMMENTATOR: But, I am not shocked that he said --
PINSKY: Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa is bursting out of her leather -- warm leatherette.
BARNETT: Because it is not shocking. Look, if you are a Christian, as I am, forgiveness is what we preach. And, so, God can forgive our sins.
Of course, he is going to say forgive him. Now, you may not want to stay with the man who is obviously gay, but I have known women who stay with men
for far worse things.
CLANTON: I am not saying do not forgive him. I am not even saying break up. That is not what I am saying.
PINSKY: We would agree with you, Vanessa. I think Spirit and I, trying to salvage a marriage is important.
CLANTON: That is right.
PINSKY: You make a vow, till death do you part.
BARNETT: Right.
PINSKY: You commit to this thing. People -- Marriage is way too disposable these days.
CLANTON: Just thrown away.
BARNETT I get the message.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
PINSKY: But, this is something much different.
CLANTON: That is right. That is right.
PINSKY: This is about whether the man should be in a marriage.
BA RNETT: I am not staying with a gay man. Let us just make that argument. I am not staying with a gay man, right? That is not an option
for me and should not be for most women. I think that is a big issue.
PINSKY: I think that is Spirit`s point.
CLANTON: That is the question. That is the question.
PINSKY: Is he gay or not?
CATHERWOOD: It is not fair to him nor is it fair to her. Clearly, with someone who probably biologically does not want to be with you.
PINSKY: And, the drinking, I tell you, the drinking has nothing to do with it --
CLANTON: Right. Great excuse.
(21:00:01) PINSKY: -- Except it is an excuse and, by the way, if anyone is worried about cheating, drinking really increases the probability
--
CLANTON: Exactly.
PINSKY: -- that cheating sessions going to occur.
CLANTON: Lower those inhibitions.
PINSKY: Now, you guys, I get your point --
CATHERWOOD: Drinking does not make you gay?
PINSKY: No.
CATHERWOOD: OK.
PINSKY: It does not do that. But, joining us via Skype, I have Josh Weed. He is gay. He is also married to a woman. So, Josh, explain -- you
have heard this conversation we have been having with this panel. Explain to me how this works for you.
JOSH WEED, GAY MARRIED TO WOMAN: Well, it works well. Part of the reason it works for me, though, my wife and I -- We have been married for
almost 13 years, but she knew I was gay for years before we got married. So, the situation you are talking about I think is very different than our
marriage.
PINSKY: We agree with you.
CATHERWOOD: Yes, totally.
PINSKY: That she -- That is what Spirit said. She has to under -- The wife has to have -- first of all, the guy has to know what and who he
is.
CLANTON: Right.
CATHERWOOD: Right.
PINSKY: And the woman has to know what she is entering into. How does this work for you, though, Josh? Are you sexually attracted to your
wife? Do you have sex with your wife? How does that work?
WEED: Yes. We have a good sex life.
PINSKY: Hold on, stop. How could that be?
BARNETT: Come on!
CLANTON: He is bisexual.
PISKY: Are you bisexual? That is a good question, Spirit.
WEED: No. I am not bisexual. I am gay, 100 percent gay, but we do - - you can choose with whom you have sex.
CLANTON: OK.
WEED: So, I am not actually physically attracted to my wife.
CLANTON: Wait. Drew is confused. Wait. Stop.
BARNETT: I am confused.
CLANTON: No. This is it. This is it. This means -- remember, we talked about sexual orientation is different. So, what he is sexually
attracted to is men, but he is engaging in heterosexual sex. It does not mean that, that is the attraction.
PINSKY: This is another layer of this --
CLANTON: This sexual fluidity thing.
PINSKY: This is another layer of this that I get my head around.
CLANTON: Yes.
BARNETT: This spitting on the sanctity of marriage. I am confused.
CLANTON: Oh, please. People get married for all different reasons. Sometimes, they get married for business reasons, for health reasons.
BARNETT: And, that is not why it should be done.
CLANTON: I would agree. I would agree.
PINSKY: Vanessa, you have a question. She seemed very spun by this?
BARNETT: Why get married? Why cannot she just be your friend and why do not you go and date the men that you are so obviously attracted to?
CLANTON: Great question?
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
PINSKY: Go ahead, Josh.
WEED: OK. It is a valid question, but I love her. She is the person that I love with all my heart, and so I chose to be with the person that I
love and make it work.
PINSKY: She entered into this with full, I think, maybe she was in denial or something, Spirit. I do not know. You know, people are -- you
know, the gay man is a better form of the male, Mike.
CATHERWOOD: Well, I could do anything to wake up gay.
PINSKY: We will get into that and more. We need to take a quick break. Stay right there. We will be right back.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(21:11:40) PINSKY: We are continuing with the segment we call, "Top of the Feed." We are talking about Pat Robertson, "700 Club" host, who
told a woman to just forgive her husband, who admitted to having had a drunken one-night stand with a man.
Back with Spirit, Mike, Vanessa, and Josh on Skype. Vanessa, given Pat Robertson`s stands on homosexuality generally. Do not you find the
whole thing kind of surprising? He takes the position he takes?
BARNETT: In the sexuality department, yes. But, in the forgiveness department, which kind of trumps that if we are having a hierarchy of
beliefs here, I kind of understand where he is coming from.
PINSKY: Now he - so, he is trying to protect the sanctity of marriage. Now, you could understand these days with marriages are breaking
up so often, just pushing to stay in the marriage, I get that.
CLANTON: But, that is an archaic thought process.
PINSKY: And, this has been a weird situation to insist upon.
CLANTON: Absolutely. I mean come on how many times have you seen that back in the day, you know, "He is hitting you or he is a closet
alcoholic.
PINSKY: Right.
CLANTON: But just stay.
PINSKY: Yes.
CLANTON: This is a different age. And, he did not say stay and get marriage counseling, stay and go see the pastor. He say just forgive it.
PINSKY: A few years ago, Pat Robertson was criticized when he gave the following advice to a woman who asked how she should get over her
husband`s infidelity. Look at this one.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ROBERTSON: Stop talking about the cheating. He cheated on you. Well, he is a man, OK. Does he provide a home for you to live in? Does he
provide food for you to eat?
You are praying, "Oh, God, keep me not to hate him for what he did when he was with that stripper in that hotel room ten years ago and I will
never forgive him kind of thing." Males have a tendency to wander a little bit. And, what you want to do is make home so wonderful that he does not
want to wonder.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(LAUGHING)
PINSKY: See that, Vanessa, Mike has turned around completely. He is now his new idol.
CATHERWOOD: No. That guy he was talking about is my idol. I want to hang out with him with strippers in a hotel room.
PINSKY: Vanessa, go ahead.
BARNETT: He is 109 years old. I think everything in his head is cloudy. I do not think he understands what he is saying most of the time.
I am not even trying to be shame towards what he do, but he is not making sense at all.
PINSKY: But, spirit, it is actually egregious.
CLANTON: Beyond egregious.
PINSKY: Yes. That is what I though.
CLANTON: But, he really believes that. And, I do not think that he just started believing that at 70 or 80 years old. He was preaching that
same doctrine when he was 20 or 30. And, that is a lot of the same things that men think. That whole misogynistic. "Oh, you know, it is in our
nature. Accept it and just deal with it. Sorry."
PINSKY: And, by the way, it is in our nature to throw our poo food and stuff, too. And, we have nothing to do in either of it.
CLANTON: Hello. Hello.
PINSKY: Do you know what I am saying?
CATHERWOOD: Drew!
PINSKY: Their thoughts are being -- nature that we need to learn to contain for health --
CLANTON: Come on get it together.
PINSKY: -- for the good of children, for the good of society, for good of our marriages --
CLANTON: For yourself.
PINSKY: For ourselves. Thank you, Spirit.
CLANTON: Yes. Control the monkey. Come on.
PINSKY: There you go. Mike, got that?
CATHERWOOD: Literally.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
PINSKY: We have questions --
(LAUGHING)
CLANTON: We got that. We got that.
PINSKY: We have questions from our audience. Yes, ma`am?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE AUDIENCE: My question is they say that being drunk does not make you gay, right? I just want to know why it is socially
acceptable for girls to go to college and get drunk and then have that experience but if guys do it they are definitely gay.
PINSKY: Mike, this is that question of female sexual fluidity versus men and the commitment required to do it, to be with a penis.
CATHERWOOD: I mean I think the scientific answers are way above my pay grade but it does seem like -- just from anecdotal experience like
women definitely have a much more --
(21:15:00) PINSKY: Fluid. Fluid.
CATHERWOOD: -- kind of liberal view of what their sexuality is.
PINSKY: Fluid.
CATHERWOOD: Yes.
PINSKY: It is fluid.
CLANTON: Oh, bull crap. It is because men like to see women have sex and you guys decide that it is OK and so, go, experiment and explore in
college.
CATHERWOOD: Yes and no. I mean yes and no.
CLANTON: Tell the truth.
CATHERWOOD: That is certainly --
CLANTON: Tell the truth.
CATHERWOOD: No, no, no. That is certainly -- That is certainly an aspect of it that guys -- Women in general too find the idea of two women
together much more appealing the idea of two men. But on top of it, I just do not think heterosexual males have the same kind of margin to work in
that heterosexual male than women do --
PINSKY: It is funny --
CLANTON: But that is socialization.
CATHERWOOD: I do not think --
PINSKY: No, but Spirit. There is a weird thing --
CLANTON: That is not biology.
PINSKY: There is a weird thing for men. Men always -- I have talked to many men over the years on "Love Line," who say, you know -- back in the
day when there were video stores they would be in the porn section, looking what they like. If they came on to man and man, they have like a reaction.
And, the only thing they can associate with would be the same as like walking in on your parents having sex. It feels like -- it just feels so
funny to me because --
CATHERWOOD: Unless you are a homosexual male.
PINSKY: And --
BARNETT: Women are sexually --
PINSKY: Hang on. Listen. And, FMRI data -- I actually went into an FMRI scanner myself and they show you all these images. You will see what
your brain does. I have no problem with the homosexual behavior as well as sexual images, I have none. I did not think. Well, my brain, my Amygdala
fired --
CLANTON: The aversion. Yes.
PINSKY: The Amygdala fired like crazy and I did not experience anything consciously. They were actually nice pictures.
CLANTON: Yes. But, they were kind of nice.
PINSKY: No. But, my amygdale fired like as though I was seeing somebody come at me aggressively.
CLANTON: Yes.
PINSKY: It was crazy.
CLANTON: So, I get you. But, see, you are talking about, still, if you talk about brain function. You are talking about getting the stimulus
from the outside and going to the brain and then the brain making a decision about those things.
PINSKY: Yes.
CLANTON: We are conditioned to say two men together is absolutely not acceptable. But two women, "Hey, hey, that is more fun at the party."
PINSKY: All right. Let us get more questions. What have you got?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE AUDIENCE: So for the man that is still married and he is gay, do you think that is one of the reasons why so many couples
are having open relationships? And also --
PINSKY: Wait. Hold on. I am not sure I get the question. So, Josh who is still with us on Skype. Are you asking is his marriage open?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE AUDIENCE: Open. So, does he accept for his wife to have relations with other people?
PINSKY: OK. Great question. Josh, what do you say?
WEED: Excellent question, no. My marriage is monogamous --
BARNETT: What the hell?!
WEED: -- which is why I feel like the comment Pat Robertson said was so problematic. That is a situation -- I am a therapist as well. And, I
specialize with people who are experiencing infidelity. When there is infidelity, there is extreme trauma. So, the woman in question has been
traumatized.
PINSKY: Josh -- we are all sitting here trying to follow you, and we seem all very confused. Your wife -- you do have sex with men or you do
not?
WEED: I do not. I am in a monogamous marriage.
PINSKY: OK. But you identify gay but you are sexually active with your wife.
WEED: I am sexually active only with my spouse.
PINSKY: Got it, got it, got it.
WEED: Sorry. Yes. So --
PINSKY: So?
CLANTON: Do you feel like either of you are denying yourselves? That is my question?
WEED: There is a level -- yes. There is a level to which both of us have had to sacrifice something in order to be together for sure.
PINSKY: She has had to sacrifice being with other guys and he is had to sacrifice being with other guys.
(LAUGHING)
WEED: Right.
CATHERWOOD: Mr. Weed, I am curious. Do other homosexual males look at you in some way as like kind of a sellout, as if you are, you know, not
representing yourself as a homosexual male in a proper way?
WEED: Some do. Some are very, very open and just say whatever life choice you make is the life choice that you make and that is how life
should work. There are some -- there has been some feedback that I have gotten that people have thought that, that was, I do not know, maybe, like
you said, maybe being a sellout. For the most part people are accepting of the fact I have made a life choice.
PINSKY: Josh, thank you very much. Mr. Wed, thank you. Panel, thank you. We are going to take a quick break. Be right back.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(21:23:10) PINSKY: Time for a segment we call "Sexting." It is your chance to get all the answers about sex and relationships, the questions
you might have on anything for me and my guests, Spirit, Mike and Vanessa.
Of course as a warning here, we will be discussing adult content. We are going to start with Alexis on Facebook. "My boyfriend would rather
masturbate than have sex. He even does it when I am home. How can I get him to choose me instead?"
Yes, I hate to -- I keep to hate to reference Adam all the time here, but we spent so many years together. Adam will always say, "You know, sex
is good. It is just not the real thing." So, Mike, what does she do?
CATHERWOOD: I think that the problem lies in their relationship more so than like -- I think a lot of times --
PINSKY: Or could he be sex porn addicted.
CATHERWOOD: Definitely. And, I am not saying this like as a punchline. Porn nowadays is almost too good. And, it is so available and
it is so easy to get access to these really beautiful people with great lighting and stuff. No, it becomes a lot more alluring and it is a lot
more after draw.
PINSKY: It is a crack pipe now.
CATHERWOOD: Yes.
PINSKY: It is a crack pipe and everyone --
CATHERWOOD: But, I will say that if they have been dating for a good amount of time and he has gotten to the point where even when she is home
he would rather masturbate than have sex. I do not think the problem lies exclusively in the bedroom. It probably developed somewhere else.
PINSKY: I agree.
BARNETT: This thing is over. It is over. Just walk away. You are not married. You are just dating. He does not even want to have sex with
you. I do not know why we are trying to figure this out.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
CLANTON: No, no. Do not walk away. No, no, no, no, no.
PINSKY: It is not a bad idea. It is not a bad piece of advice.
CLANTON: I would not just walk away. If it is worth it, I will go pull up a chair next to him, "What are we watching? What are we watching?"
And, try to figure literally and see what is it about this that turns you on. And, how do we incorporate and bring this into the bedroom?
PINSKY: Unless. Unless, he is porn addicted.
CLANTON: Then that is a totally different issue.
PINSKY: Yes. And, by the way, we are seeing now more and more sexual dysfunction in young men because of this.
CLANTON: Absolutely.
(21:25:00) PINSKY: So, it is a real thing. So, let us keep going --
CATHERWOOD: Or unless, Drew -- also to point out. Unless, he just likes any other girl better than her. You know?
PINSKY: No good.
CATHERWOOD: Sometimes guys are just not into a relationship though where it is like anything else but --
CLANTON: That is probably not what it is.
PINSKY: Then Vanessa`s point applies.
CLANTON: Exactly.
BARNETT: Keep it moving, girl.
PINSKY: Audience?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE AUDIENCE: My fiance and I have been dating for seven years and he recently became a police officer. And, we already put
money down on a venue and I bought my wedding dress. And, he recently just broke off the wedding engagement.
PINSKY: Why?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE AUDIENCE: To focus on his career.
PINSKY: Whoa.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE AUDIENCE: So, I am wondering, are we doomed?
(LAUGHING)
BARNETT: Well, it is over, right?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE AUDIENCE: Yes, but we still talk, but --
PINSKY: Wait. You deserve a much better explanation than I am working on my career.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
BARNETT: Yes!
PINSKY: That is B.S.
BARNETT: I broke up for my job?
CLANTON: Why are you still talking to him is the question?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE AUDIENCE: I mean, it was like a good like -- I mean I do not know if I could say good breakup, but I mean we have been
together for so long that --
CATHERWOOD: That is a good enough reason. You do something terrible for a long enough time, you might as well stick with it.
(LAUGHING)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE AUDIENCE: Yes.
PINSKY: Did he just get scared of marriage? Did he just get cold feet?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE AUDIENCE: Well, I mean he is 30 and I am 25. So, I figure like, you know, we are at the age but he wants to wait. He wants
to wait another year. So, I feel it is always waiting like, "Oh next year, next year."
PINSKY: You know what? You find somebody else and he will magically be ready. I am just saying. Right? Vanessa?
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
CLANTON: Stop sleeping with him.
(CROSSTALKS)
PINSKY: Yes. Do not sleep with that guy anymore.
CLANTON: No more sex with him.
PINSKY: Stop that.
CLANTON: Stop sleeping with him.
PINSKY: No sex with that guy. We are all saying that. Tony on Twitter, "Just broke up with my girlfriend of three years. Should I cut
off communication cold turkey or still text her once in a while?" He just broke up. What do you guys say?
CLANTON: I said cold turkey.
CATHERWOOD: Absolutely.
CLANTON: You broke up, that is it. Stop trying to keep it going. You are never going to mend your heart that way.
BARNETT: It is an ex for a reason, unless you are trying to make your ex your next, but why continue this communication. I did it with all my
exes. They never see me again. They probably have never seen me since the day we broke up.
CLANTON: They are watching you now. They are watching you now.
BARNETT: Why keep it going? You are blocking the next guy or girl.
CLANTON: They still believe that they are going to get back together.
BARNETT: But he dumped her.
PINSKY: Or they keep having sex.
CATHERWOOD: I was going to say, or guys try to prolong booty.
PINSKY: Yes.
CATHERWOOD: While they go date the next girl.
CLANTON: Find the next one.
PINSKY: Another studio audience question.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: Hey, guys! So, I am a registered nurse. I have a lot of friends who work in the E.R. and increasingly we find a the
lot of people coming in with weird stuff kind of stuck up their butt.
PINSKY: I got to stop you. That has been going on when I was in training.
CLANTON: A long time.
PINSKY: That has been going on forever. It is just you are in an E.R. or when that is where people come.
CLANTON: Welcome to the party.
(LAUGHING)
PINSKY: Yes. It has been going on -- welcome to humanity.
BARNETT: The party?
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
PINSKY: It is really bizarre. I mean it is always a shock when you first get into an E.R. setting and you see these people come in, you cannot
believe it. And, back then anyway when I was working in the E.R. They always had the same explanation. How did it get there? What do they tell
you?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: It was an accident.
PINSKY: And, what was the accident?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: They just kind of wanted to see how far up it could go.
PINSKY: See, now they are more honest.
CLANTON: Yes.
PINSKY: Back in the day the response was, "I sat on it." Yes, yes. And some crazy stuff, too.
CLANTON: All the way naked.
(LAUGHING)
PINSKY: What is your question?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: First off, it is hard to explain sitting on a wine bottle.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
PINSKY: That is what I am saying. This kind of stuff --
CLANTON: It was lodged in the chair.
CATHERWOOD: You are drinking the wrong type of wine. It is very easy for me, often.
(LAUGHING)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: So, I guess my question is what is up with that and what is the weirdest thing you have ever seen you know to
have stuck up someone`s butt?
PINSKY: We had a guy with a grapefruit. Yes.
BARNETT: A whole grapefruit?
PINSKY: And, what I imagine that had happened was like a drug deal that went bad. And, they said, "If you do not bring the money, you see
this grapefruit?" And, the grapefruit ended up there.
BARNETT: I do not know any drug dealer that are going around trying to rape dudes with grapefruits?
PINSKY: That is all I could imagine. I could not imagine how it happened. So, there you go. It has been going on forever. Thank you for
that question. Let us go back -- we are bringing you back to my training.
Back on Facebook. It is Kara. "My husband has a small penis complex, even though I have never complained and we have a great sex life. What
else can I do?" It is interesting she does not say whether he does or does not have a small penis. Mike, what is it with somebody with someone who
has a small penis too?
CATHERWOOD: Well, Dr. Drew --
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
CLANTON: I am so glad you asked.
BARNETT: From personal experience.
CATHERWOOD: Speaking from personal experience, you just got to learn -- I have always said -- I have always said in the hands of a skilled ninja
even a very small dagger can be deadly.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
PINSKY: There you go. Just have that confidence. Vanessa is a no go.
BARNETT: You know I do not like small penises. I am not onboard for small penises, but what I will say is it sound lake she may be the problem.
Maybe she has had too many experiences and his insecurity comes from the fact that it is like a pencil in a bagel like maybe he is just falling in
that thing. Is that too far?
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
PINSKY: Keep moving. Audience question. Go ahead.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE AUDIENCE: Hey! So, I ended a two-year relationship. So, once you break up, when is a good time to start dating
and having sex again with someone new?
CATHERWOOD: A couple hours.
(LAUGHING)
(21:30:01) PINSKY: That is a very personal question. It depends on whether somebody is a serial monogamist and they need some time alone or
not.
CLANTON: Exactly.
PINSKY: What do you think?
CLANTON: I think it depends on you. When you are ready? When you know that you have absolutely left that relationship behind and there is no
chance of you reopening that and having a weird love triangle --
PINSKY: Or jumping into something to avoid the feeling.
CLANTON: Right. I do not want to deal with that.
PINSKY: Yes.
CLANTON: It was too hard.
PINSKY: Yes.
CLANTON: Give yourself some space. If you know that you are over it and clean, then go ahead and enjoy.
PINSKY: There you go. I think that is a good advice.
CLANTON: Clean in more ways than one.
PINSKY: What is that now?
BARNETT: Hey!
CLANTON: Clean in more ways than one.
PINSKY: Fair enough. I think I know what you mean.
CLANTON: Coming out of one relationship into another one, make sure you do everything.
PINSKY: Got it. We are going to take a quick break. Be right back after this. If you struggle
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
(21:34:39) UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE REPORTER: Want to be brilliant in bed? Apparently, the answer was yes for hundreds of students at Vanderbilt
University. They packed an auditorium to hear Megan Andelloux, a clinical sexologist, give a raunchy lecture about everything from masturbation and
lubrication --
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MEGAN ANDELLOUX, CLINICAL SEXOLOGIST: Inside condoms especially important. What about? What else?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE STUDENT: Outside condoms. Yes.
(LAUGHING)
ANDELLOUX: Outside condoms.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE REPORTER: -- to orgasms and orifices.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
PINSKY: Time for "What The?" A story that is generating a lot of heat on social. Warning, of course, this may not be appropriate for very
young children, the conversation we are about to have.
As you might imagine, when Megan`s workshop was announced there were some campus critics. The woman who conducts the workshop will join us in
just a couple of minutes. I am back with my panel, Spirit, Mike and Vanessa. Vanessa, any trouble with this?
BARNETT: You know, my biggest issue with the whole thing is the timing of it all. This workshop was scheduled for maybe a week after the
guilty verdict came down and the double rape case. Right?
PINSKY: Rape. Yes!
BARNETT: Where the girl was assaulted in the dorm room. So, it is just the timing is awful.
PINSKY: So, Vanderbilt got some issues there. And, I got family and I spent a lot of time at that university. There is very much of a Greek
culture there that has kind of a little bit of a hypersexual bent already.
CLANTON: Like I am trying to figure out the right way to say this.
PINSKY: You know? Are you ok with this?
CLANTON: You know, actually, I teach -- I have a lot of sexual workshops or various things that I teach. I cannot imagine -- Oh, yeah. I
can teach you some things.
PINSKY: Various things? Various things.
(LAUGHING)
CLANTON: I teach oral sex workshops. I teach couples how to have great sex. So, I get this. And, I think that it is really important for
individuals to learn how to be great lovers. I really do.
PINSKY: Individuals, not couples.
CLANTON: Couples, absolutely.
PINSKY: OK.
CLANTON: I think that that is important, too. You talk about -- Look at infidelity rates, Dr. Drew.
PINSKY: Yes.
CLANTON: Everybody thinks they are so much more sexually sophisticated than they actually are. We teach sex education, but we teach
the mechanics of it not the feel-good parts of it. So, I get it. It is just there are some very different things that she is doing that are quite
interesting.
PINSKY: Now, you just saw a few seconds of that workshop. Here is yet a little more here. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANDELLOUX: Not everybody has a fresh lube. I am going to recommend a couple of things. One, you put a little bit on your hands and rub it
around. And, then you take your hand and you put it up to your mouth and you lick it because you should always know what your lube tastes like
before you buy it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY: Spirit, you say you take issue with some of the stuff she is doing, stuff like that?
CLANTON: No, no, no, no, no. See, I still did not even get that piece, Dr. Drew.
PINSKY: Yes.
CLANTON: The part I take issue with is that she actually had one workshop, if I understand this correctly, where she encouraged them to
masturbate during the workshop. So, you had individuals who were sitting there as we all are -- if I just said, "OK, everybody, I want to you touch
yourselves. I am going to teach you, do not save it for when you get home. Let us do it now."
PINSKY: And, I am sure she also said, "Everybody turn your phones off. Nobody will record this and, sure enough, one kid got the phone
going." Well, I got Megan joining us via Skype. Megan Andelloux. I think I pronounced your name right.
She is a clinical sexologist, certified sexual educator. Megan, talk to us about that. You encouraged them to masturbate in their seats? Is
that accurate? And, I am sure, you want -- No, you did not. Go ahead.
(LAUGHING)
MEGAN ANDELLOUX, CERTIFIED SEXUAL EDUCATOR: No, I actually told them to turn their cell phones to vibrate and stick it between their legs, so
that it did not disrupt the others learning during --
(LAUGHING)
CLANTON: Indirect masturbation, OK.
PINSKY: And, Megan, who do you think needs your help more, men or women? Or did you -- or let us say -- I will not ask about Vanderbilt per
se but generally men or women?
ANDELLOUX: I think each individual has different needs. Like men are coming up to me with questions regarding concerns. Women are frequently
asking questions about how to have an orgasm. I think each community has different needs, but those are the most common situations that I have keep-
asking question with.
PINSKY: Consent is such a huge issue on college campuses. I hope you emphasize that. I mean I love Vanderbilt. It is a great institution. I
am not being critical of them, but all colleges these days have is issues with consent. Did you emphasize that?
ANDELLOUX: Oh, of course. I talk about what to do when someone says no, how to handle that. And,so one of the things I encourage is to thank
people when they say no, so that we can practice being empathetic and respecting boundaries since that was one of the big points.
PINSKY: Mike -- Mike, you raised your eyebrows there. What are you thinking? Do you want to ask her a question?
CATHERWOOD: I just do not know -- I cannot -- I am the horniest, most disgusting guy ever.
PINSKY: We got that.
(LAUGHING)
CATHERWOOD: Honestly. And, I just do not -- I cannot even imagine a world where I would forcibly do anything sexual upon a woman. So, I am
trying to think a type of guy that does that. And, if he is in the frame of mind that he is going to force sex on a woman and she tells him, "No," I
just cannot believe that he is going to be like, "Well, thank you, ma`am. I appreciate that." I just do not know if that is even -- it might seem
like a little bit of --
PINSKY: So, what do you suggest? But, are you suggesting women should understand how to identify predators or aggressive men? How to
avoid them? What do you do?
CATHERWOOD: No, no. I think that there needs to be -- I hate to sound like such a sellout (EXPLETIVE WORD), but I think it needs to start
with how we educate men on how women think.
PINSKY: Yes.
CATHERWOOD: And like the idea of what -- [applause ] like the idea of what sex is at its core. I think there is such a rancid "Playboy" ethic
that goes on with a lot of young men now that it is unrealistic to applied to real women.
PINSKY: Yes.
CATHERWOOD: And, Megan, what do you say to your critics?
(21:40:00) ANDELLOUX: Well, first, I want to point out that anyone can be raped and it is not just women. So, I think it is important that we
address that because men do talk to me about being sexually assaulted on campus. What do I say to my critics?
PINSKY: Who say that perhaps this is gratuitous or unnecessary or you know excessive?
ANDELLOUX: No. You know, usually, they are the people that do not show up at the presentation. So --
PINSKY: So, it is hard for them to be critical about something they have not seen or heard. Well, listen, hats off to you for doing the
consent issue because, boy, that is a problem on college campuses. The rest of it, each campus will have to decide for themselves. Megan, thank
you for joining us. We will be right back after this.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
PINSKY: Time for "Click Fix," where my guests tell me what is going on, on their Facebook, Twitter and Instagram feeds. I am back with Spirit,
Mike and Vanessa. Spirit, you are up first.
CLANTON: OK. So, there is this really interesting trend that is happening in Thailand. And, you guys --
PINSKY: Well, slow down.
CATHERWOOD: Whoa!
(LAUGHING)
PINSKY: Whenever --
CLANTON: I know. I know. I know.
(21:45:00) PINSKY: When Spirit says Thailand and interesting trend, both scares me.
CLANTON: OK. So -- and this might do that as well, Dr. Drew.
PINSKY: Fine.
CLANTON: They are actually taking -- making ink derived from lungs of actual smokers lungs, and deriving a special ink to show what it looks like
the damage that is done to individuals who stops smoking --
PINSKY: So, they are taking the deposits. There it is.
CLANTON: There it is. Take a look at this.
PINSKY: Out of the lung. There is the ink.
CLANTON: Right.
PINSKY: So people are actually able to use calligraphy with --
CLANTON: Calligraphy to write.
PINSKY: -- With lung.
CLANTON: To do all kind of beautiful artwork.
PINSKY: Disgusting.
CLANTON: And, they were distributing this to individuals to show, this is what happens when you smoke. This comes out of your body when you
smoke. And do you know that in doing this campaign the individuals who decided to stop smoking has gone up 500 percent.
PINSKY: Fantastic.
CLANTON: Since they have done this project. 500 percent.
PINSKY: So, anybody who is thinking about smoking tobacco, thinking about the ink we could make on what is left behind in your lungs. Mike,
what do you got?
CATHERWOOD: First of, I want to buy that ink.
PINSKY: Yes.
CATHERWOOD: That is awesome. Secondly, a law professor is under a the lot of --
PINSKY: Scrutiny.
CATHERWOOD: -- Scrutiny right now because she sent out some anal bead porn to students of hers and other faculty at the school. She sent it
totally accidentally. She send out links to something totally unrelated and actually sent out a link to Uporn, anal bead porn.
PINSKY: Nice.
(LAUGHING)
CATHERWOOD: And, the --
PINSKY: I wonder if the legal topic was she was actually trying to get into.
CATHERWOOD: Right. How did you confuse it with anal beads?
(LAUGHING)
PINSKY: Right.
CATHERWOOD: That is what I want to know.
CLANTON: It was the last one that was in the link. It was the last one or share.
PINSKY: Yes, in the beads.
CATHERWOOD: And, it had something to do with pro bono work from what I hear.
(LAUGHING)
PINSKY: But this law school is standing behind her.
CATHERWOOD: The law school is standing behind her. I think that they should, because frankly, look, they are all adults. They are in law
school. It is not preschoolers.
PINSKY: None only that.
CATHERWOOD: They are not grade school kids.
PINSKY: It is Drexel Law School. They are saying it is just a harmless accident. But, Mike, with so much pervasiveness of all this stuff
on everyone`s computers and phones, I think we are going to see a lot more accidents like this.
CLANTON: Yes. That is true. You walk in, you tell the joke. OK, so, "Now you know what I am into. Ha-ha. Let us get back to work. Let us
go." Keep it moving. Keep it moving.
CATHERWOOD: She should honestly be very happy it was not a video of herself, you know?
PINSKY: Yes.
CATEHRWOOD: Because it could have been way worse.
BARNETT: Is it her using the beads or some random beads.
CATHERWOOD: No. It was a link to Uporn and -- No. Listen, it was an accident and no one was hurt by this. Everyone involved was adults. And,
although I am not encouraging her to continue to do it, I am glad the university is getting behind her.
BARNETTE: But, I am hearing that people want her gone. They are like, "I do not want anal beads in my inbox." I do not want them in any of
my boxes but that is just me.
(LAUGHING)
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
CLANTON: You have not done this the right way. I will have to teach you later.
(LAUGHING)
PINSKY: All right. Vanessa, with that, have at it.
BARNETT: Speaking of anal beads.
PINSKY: Yes.
BARNETT: On my social media, there is dildos popping up --
PINSKY: Speaking of that!
BARNETT: There are new dildos. They are like these beautiful dildos that are now urns. And, so like --
PINSKY: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
CLANTON: That is the truth. Yes. Yes. I heard of this.
(LAUGHING)
CATHERWOOD: What?
PINSKY: Urns for what?
BARNETT: Like -- OK, say your husband passes away. It --
PINSKY: Wait. Wait. No, wait a minute. There are urns for ashes of a dead person.
BARNETT: Yes. It is an urn.
PINSKY: Hold on. I got to break this --
BARNETT: This is urn.
CLANTON: It is an individual ashes --
PINSKY: Wait, wait, wait. Show me that picture again.
CLANTON: It is an individual`s ashes that have literally been placed into a dildo.
BARNETT: Yes. It is an urn and it is very beautiful. Let me tell you. Just think, if you lose your love one, but you still want to be with
that person --
CLANTON: No.
BARNETT: Hey! It is the most --
CLANTON: This is the most disgusting thing ever.
BARNETT: The dildo itself is beautiful. It comes in a vase. You can put perfume and cologne in there.
CATHERWOOD: I think it is awesome.
BARNETT: You can play music.
CLANTON: I would be afraid that it would break off. That is all.
BARNETT: It is gorgeous.
CLANTON: If it comes apart, then what? Then it is just tragedy.
BARNETT: Then he is literally still inside of you.
CLANTON: Forever. I will let you have that. I will let you have that one.
BARNETT: If my husband were to ever pass away, I would still want him every single day.
CLANTON: Not there.
BARNETT: And, this is how you can have him.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
PINSKY: Slow cap for Vanessa and her commitment to her husband. That is all I am saying. All right, everybody. We got to take another quick
break. We will be right back after this.
[21:48:55]
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
PINSKY: Time for something we call "Dr. Drew Qs." You can ask me anything. I will do my best to answer. Allan on Facebook asked, "If you
decided to dip your toe in the man pond, which celebrity would you choose to be with?" Mike Catherwood will back me up on the fact that Jason Ellis
is my man crush.
If anyone of you know Jason Ellis from Sirius XM Radio. Jason -- Yes. He is the guy with the wolf tattooed on his head that we have had on our
show occasionally. Could not be a more different person than me. And, somehow, that is good. We got a question from our audience. Hey there.
How are you?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE AUDIENCE: Hi, Dr. Drew. What advice would you give a middle-aged woman such as myself, how to find a sexually compatible
partner when most men in my age group seem to veer towards much drastically younger women.
PINSKY: Men are so great.
(LAUGHING)
PINSKY: You really have to work on finding somebody that shares an interest and a life with you. I mean it is a different kind of dating that
people do when they are in their 20s and guys that still date the way they did when they were in their 20s. I mean do you really want to be with
those guys anyway?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE AUDIENCE: No.
Yes. Yes. I am just saying. And, so, it really is about finding common interests, common experiences and that means getting yourself out
there. It is almost, you know, another job of trying to meet and find that person and cultivate those relationships. And, rely on friends and
networks of people who know you and what you have to offer and it takes time.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE AUDIENCE: Wonderful. Thank you.
PINSKY: You bet. Greg on Twitter, "Is food addiction a real thing and how do you treat it?" Yes, I am always concerned about the
overutilization of the term addiction to apply to everything where people have trouble change in their behavior or moderately compulsive around some
behavior.
You can conceptualize food compulsions as an addiction , but I just think of it as a binge eating disorder, which is something very different
than addiction. It is actually treated somewhat differently. The 12 step can help. There is a way out there. And, it can be helpful for people.
But, usually they are very specific therapeutic interventions, cognitive behavioral therapies that highly trained people for treating
eating disorders can help you with. So, I would stop worrying about how to label it and get someone who has training and proper experience with
treating these kinds of disorders. Audience? Hey there.
(21:45:05) UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: My question is, is sex more healthy or self-destructive outside of a relationship?
PINSKY: Meaning -- There is a whole story here. I can feel it. What --
UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: If you are single --
PINSKY: Yes.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: -- would you say that having sex is unhealthy or self-destructive?
PINSKY: No. I cannot label it.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: Psychologically.
PINSKY: I cannot label it as either unless you are doing something destructive in how you make your choices or are reckless or you are
compulsive or addictive. There is sex addiction for sure. Is that what you mean?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: No. I think you know because your show is a little about self-identity. So, I think you know sexual
experimentation is actually interesting --
PINSKY: It is good thing.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: -- in teenagers and growing up --
PINSKY: And adults.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: And older. So, I just wanted to know is you know, being single like is it bad to go out and have sexual things with
a lot of different people?
PINSKY: No. No. Not necessarily. I mean if you want to give a big broad label to just behave yourself -- No, it really depends on how you are
experiencing it, why are you doing it? What motivates you? How you are affecting other people? How you feel about what you are doing? And, if you
have trauma and other sort of issues in the background I would look into it if you are wondering is this problematic. That is all I am saying. OK?
Let us go to Jessica on Facebook. "I could like to know what Dr. Drew thinks about the widespread use of heroin amongst young people." I
got a lot of feelings about that. I got to tell you. Here is my bottom line you to know, which is that the vast majority of this heroin addiction
we are seeing amongst young people is actually from the overprescribing of pills that has been going on for God knows how long now.
Oral opiates are dangerous. There is a crazy phenomenon. My patients when they die of addiction today die prescription medication death almost
without exception. So, these bills finally physicians are beginning to look at as having been overprescribed, finally.
They are -- Rather than bringing these patients in and saying, "Hey! You know what? I did not -- I inadvertently we have created an iatrogenic
illness. You are an addict now. I did not mean to do that. We now have to give you proper treatment and get you off these things."
Instead what they are doing is going, "Hey, you are a bad patient. You are over-utilizing these drugs. I told you, you cannot use them. I am
not going to treat you anymore. And, they are cast out into the streets. And, guess where they go when think cannot get their oral prescribed
opiates any longer. They switch to heroin. And, heroin is what we are seeing that is coming massive increase all of sudden. A question from the
audience. Hey!
UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: Hi. My question is related to dating apps. I am gay. And, in the gay community, they are used a lot
differently than I think my straight friends use them.
PINSKY: Tell me. Tell me.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: They are overtly sexual. Really hookup apps.
PINSKY: But the Tinder is that way, too to some extent.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: So, that is my question. I am wondering, what are the cultural differences?
PINSKY: The cultural difference is that you have a female involved with Tinder and they are holding it back a little bit. Where with just men
it is game on, right? The men, the straight men, are using Tinder with the intention of it being grinder and the women will say, "No, we are having a
dating app here not a sex act." And, you know grinder there is no such concern.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: Got it.
PINSKY: Right? And, it is really -- actually, the people that work in sort of sexual health and sexual compulsions are actually worried about
that, that it is, again, like having a crack pipe right there. It just kind of go in for all the time. And, then people are taking crazy risks,
right. So, it is not what we call healthy. Right? Thank you. Appreciate it.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE AUDIENCE: Thank you.
PINSKY: Max on Twitter, did I have a childhood idol? You know, that is a hard -- I cannot really remember that. But, I think I was -- I think
probably my dad probably my idol. I think you he at least influenced, you know, certainly me as a physician and things I admired about him. He had
amazing judgment. So, I tried to cultivate my judgment. I like to think I had a piece of that. What is going on?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE AUDIENCE: What advice personal or professional would you give to your 25-year-old self?
PINSKY: Other than calm down? Pay attention to how you affect people. I mean that is something if ever I did something that I feel
guilty about, it is sort of reckless behavior of youth that affected other people I really do not like. I did not pay attention. You have to pay
attention to how your behavior affects other people.
And, my whole life has been about trying to help other people. And, so, the fact that I may have affected people negatively out of just the
recklessness of youth bothers me. So, thank you for that question. All right now, thank you to our studio audience, of course. Thank you to all
of you watching at home. I will see you next time.
(21:59:40) (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
END
