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Joy Behar Page
Penn State Child Rape Scandal; SNL Star`s Stormy Life
Aired November 10, 2011 - 22:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
ANNOUNCER: Coming up on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, the legendary coach Joe Paterno is fired as coach of Penn State amid charges that his former assistant coach raped children. The scandal has rocked the nation. So Joy wants to know if all this attention will make it even harder for the victims to move on.
Then, former SNL star Darrell Hammond talks about overcoming intense child abuse and drug addiction to become the sketch show`s longest running cast member.
Plus Joy will have a round-up of the most ridiculous moments from last night`s Republican presidential debate.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RICK PERRY (R), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Oops.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That and more starting right now.
JOY BEHAR, HOST: Legendary Penn State football coach Joe Paterno has been fired along with the university`s president, Graham Spanier. This comes on the heels of a sex abuse scandal involving former assistant coach Jerry Sandusky, who is accused of sexually abusing multiple underage boys and raping a child as young as 10.
With me now is Troy Craig who met Jerry Sandusky through his children`s charity Second Mile and alleged that Sandusky touched him when he was just 11 years old.
Welcome to the show Troy. You say there was an incident that occurred with Sandusky. Can you tell me what happened?
TROY CRAIG, SAYS JERRY SANDUSKY TOUCHED HIS THIGH: There were multiple incidents, but there was nothing ever sexual or criminal in the touch. It was usually limited to a hand on the thigh while driving in the car with him. Obviously, I was riding as a passenger, he was driving. But that was pretty much a guarantee, if you were going to be in the car alone with him, his right hand would be on my left thigh.
BEHAR: That to me sounds very sexual, to tell you the truth. You have a grown man driving a car, and a little boy sitting next, and he has his hand on his thigh. How long did that go on?
CRAIG: This would probably have been over the period of maybe -- I want to say two or three years. Obviously there were isolated incidents; it wasn`t as if this was a daily occurrence. There may have been in total 50 or 60 times.
BEHAR: Did you tell anybody?
CRAIG: I was hesitant to tell anybody. I may have indicated once or twice that I was uncomfortable alone with Jerry, but I would have been very careful as to just how much of what was happening I would have actually revealed. Because I didn`t want to -- I didn`t want any limited access to the privileges that I was granted.
BEHAR: Do you know other boys who were touched by him in this way?
CRAIG: No, no. At one point there would have been an older boy, I seem to remember asking him if Jerry put his hand on his leg, if that made him uncomfortable, the hand on the thigh. I seem to remember that boy indicating, yes, that`s how Jerry is. That`s what he does. He`s kind of weird like that.
BEHAR: Tell me, how do you feel now after all these allegations have come out?
CRAIG: I`m shocked, even given the experiences that I had with, I don`t think anything even that prepared me for some of the things that I read in the presentment.
BEHAR: Yes. It`s pretty shocking.
CRAIG: Absolutely.
BEHAR: Ok. Troy.
CRAIG: And, you know, the --
BEHAR: Go ahead finish your thought. Finish your thought.
CRAIG: No, I was just going to say that, you know, as a child, those experiences to me -- I didn`t think of them as being sexual in nature. You know, at 11 years old I just knew it made me uncomfortable --
BEHAR: Yes.
CRAIG: That being alone with him and his desire for physical contact with me was unusual in that I didn`t know other men, other grown men in my life that had that same desire, that have that same penchant, you know, for wanting to have their hands on me as often.
BEHAR: Ok Troy. Thank you very much for sharing this with us.
CRAIG: Certainly.
BEHAR: Ok. Let me bring in my panel: Wendy Murphy, a former child abuse and sex crimes prosecutor who teaches at New England Law in Boston; and Pat Forde, national college columnist for Yahoo! Sports.
Wendy, it seems a lot of people knew that Sandusky was a kind of a creep. I mean the guy, the last interview he said he was touched 50 or 60 times and other kids said well, that`s him. He`s a weirdo.
Do you think, I mean there was a cover up at that school, no?
WENDY MURPHY, FORMER CHILD ABUSE AND SEX CRIMES PROSECUTOR: There`s no doubt that Perp State University had a clue about this guy. Reports from 1998 known to people at the university. Nothing was done. 2000, a child is orally raped -- known to the university, witnessed by a janitor there. Nothing was done. And we have to have then another child anally raped in 2002 and nothing is done.
What a bunch of bastards, Joy, everyone of them. From the top down -- not just Sandusky, everybody knows.
Nitwits who are at Penn State protesting that Joe Paterno is gone. How about occupying Sandusky`s neighborhood and protesting on his front lawn. How about protesting the real bad guys for a change.
BEHAR: That`s right. But you know what, Pat, what do you think about that? I think that that`s odd. What`s wrong with those kids? Why are they doing that?
PAT FORDE, NATIONAL COLLEGE COLUMNIST, YAHOO! SPORTS: Well, there`s certainly a loss of perspective for a lot of people here in terms of what is the real story. And you know, part of that is because of the stature of Joe Paterno in the sporting world. Part of that is the fact that as college students, I`m not sure they`re in touch with the gravitas of the whole situation.
And I just think that at times all of us, probably, especially the people covering the story and people involved in the story, have gotten somewhat sidetracked from the real story, which is the victimization of these children.
BEHAR: Yes, that`s right. Wendy, Coach Paterno was fired but he thought he could stay until the season was over. Is that arrogance or naivete?
MURPHY: All of the above, and then some. Entitlement, arrogance, maybe he knew that he had this kind of weird support on campus. He knew this was coming. I mean, look, a decent human being, like Joe Paterno -- everybody believes he`s a decent human being -- he should be saying publicly, I urge all Sandusky`s victims to come forward, and I want everybody to back off supporting me because I deserve shame and ridicule as does the president, who thank God is now fired.
Everybody at Penn State should hang their heads in shame, that`s what a decent man should do. Joe Paterno, if he`s a decent man will step up for the victims and knock off this nonsense. Nonsense. Support for him? What?
BEHAR: Yes, you know Penn State is under federal investigation for this, which they should be. What`s their legal liability? What`s at stake exactly, Wendy?
MURPHY: I don`t think the Cleary Act investigation is likely to go too far because what they`re really looking at is whether it should have been reported as a statistical matter. The Cleary Act really isn`t about requiring reports to outside law enforcement officials.
If I were in charge of Pennsylvania and/or Penn State, the thing I would do tomorrow is pass a law mandating that people in schools, teachers, anybody, any employee of any institutional environment must tell law enforcement and child welfare authorities --
BEHAR: That`s right. Definitely.
MURPHY: -- the law in Pennsylvania doesn`t require that now at all, Joy.
BEHAR: I know that.
As this unfolds, though, Pat, do you think we`ll see the victims speak out before we go? What do you think?
FORDE: Sure. No, I think that there`s going to be a continuing trickle of information come out on this. I think it`s great that the guest you had on earlier was willing to talk about his experience while certainly less traumatic than some of the others have experienced but it again, shows to the perpendicular trace of a kind of periodic or consistent violation or intrusion upon these young men.
This is going to be something -- this is a big, complicated story that we wanted to condense down to this is right, this is wrong. You can`t do that. It`s going to take a long time for it to play out, and a lot of people still have to be heard from.
BEHAR: Ok. Thank you guys very much.
We`ll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: On "Saturday Night Live" Darrell Hammond was known for doing hilarious impressions of politicians. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DARRELL HAMMOND, COMEDIAN: I will take my show on the road. I will support Barack Obama and I will not allow my finances to screw this up for Hillary, because if I`ve said it -- once, I`ve said it a thousand times, the last thing I want to do is screw Hillary.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Well, you know, making people laugh like that isn`t easy. And it`s even harder when you`re depressed and drug addicted. In his new memoir, "God if you`re not up there I`m (EXPLETIVE DELETED); tales of stand up, "Saturday Night Live" and other mind altering mayhem". Darrell talks about his successes, his struggles and his childhood growing up with a mother who made Joan Crawford look like Mother Teresa.
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: Joining me is my old pal Darrell Hammond.
HAMMOND: Hi.
BEHAR: Welcome to the show, Darrell.
HAMMOND: Thanks for having me on.
BEHAR: I mean, your childhood going is like something out of Dickens.
HAMMOND: Is it? I haven`t read Dickens.
BEHAR: You haven`t? Yes, you did.
HAMMOND: A couple things but --
BEHAR: Well, you quote quite a few writers in here. You quote, Victor Hugo.
HAMMOND: Yes Victor Hugo.
BEHAR: You`re very literate in the book.
HAMMOND: I know I`m good at looking like I am, but I`ve only read a few of the classics.
BEHAR: Yes but you quote them very brilliantly.
HAMMOND: Thank you.
BEHAR: As if you`ve read a lot.
HAMMOND: All part of the plan.
BEHAR: Yes. Now for -- now and also the acting out recently I was interested to hear.
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: And sorry to hear that in 2010, you got drunk and tried to cut your arm off with a large kitchen knife.
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: What was that about? Did you just go see that movie "127 hours" or what?
HAMMOND: That`s exactly what I was -- no.
BEHAR: What -- what were you doing?
HAMMOND: Well, I was planning on writing a book and I thought that would be good for the prologue.
You know it was a kind of anger that had been sort of untreated. And I have always been designed to sort of nosedive my own aircraft. And when I was younger it was about letting the people around me know that something terrible was happening in our house. Because I`m -- you know, you`re afraid to say something.
BEHAR: But the -- the -- the section on drugs and mutilation and drinking and everything, you were working at "Saturday Night Live" during a lot this time, right?
HAMMOND: Yes all of that.
BEHAR: Did anybody know?
HAMMOND: Yes, yes. And I was pretty closely monitored, and I think that after one -- yes, I think it says in there, that I was taken away in a straightjacket. So I -- after that I sat down with Lorne Michaels and Bernie Berlstein (ph).
BEHAR: Yes.
HAMMOND: And they both let me know that this needs to level off and dissipate or we can`t have you on the show any more.
BEHAR: Tell me how you tried to negotiate with your mother. Because she has done -- she did some awful things to you. I mean, I just want to read a couple things.
HAMMOND: Yes, sure.
BEHAR: To show people how -- how mean she was.
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: When you -- when she slammed your fingers in a car door.
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: Did you know that that -- how old were you when that happened?
HAMMOND: I think I was about six. You know that most -- most of the stuff happened between the ages of like 4 and 10. So I think I was about 6 years old, we just moved to a new house.
BEHAR: And did she --
(CROSSTALK)
HAMMOND: Hold your hand right there and then slammed the door.
BEHAR: What provoked it if anything?
HAMMOND: I don`t know. She would -- this look would come over her and she`d be far away and distant. And I expect she was having some sort of episode herself, and then she would do something cruel.
BEHAR: And then she stuck your fingers in electrical -- in the electrical outlets?
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: How old were you when that happened?
HAMMOND: Four or five I guess. Coming -- I didn`t -- don`t remember so much until I was about four or five years old. And I only remember tiny pieces.
BEHAR: And dad, where was he in all this?
HAMMOND: Recovering from the Nazis, from the Nazi war machine that haunted him until his dying day.
BEHAR: He was a World War II vet?
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: Traumatized?
HAMMOND: He was a medal winner, he was a war hero. He believed the Nazis were verifiable evil. He wasn`t a Bible guy but he didn`t believe they were of this earth.
BEHAR: Was she ever diagnosed with schizophrenia or anything like that?
HAMMOND: I don`t know. There was a time when -- after the stabbing incident where she was, I believe, was taken away, for a while. I know that I -- I was taken out of the house and taken over to my grandfather`s house.
BEHAR: What was the stabbing incident?
HAMMOND: This pop in the tongue.
BEHAR: In your tongue?
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: So -- so then she was taken away. So somebody did come --
HAMMOND: Something did happen. And I remember later in life, you know, her saying to me, something about the mind can be fixed like a broken limb can be fixed. I -- but I do remember that she was -- she left and I left, and I wasn`t in that house for a while.
BEHAR: Yes, tell me about how you started to do impressions.
HAMMOND: She did them.
BEHAR: She did them?
HAMMOND: Yes, she did all the people in the neighborhood. And then one day I remember, I discovered I was talking like the next door neighbor too. And I was like well maybe I can do this too.
Yes she would come home and say, wow, what an interesting day, Coach Brown came in and he said, "What in the hell", you know she would do the set up in her in voice and then the punch line in the character`s voice and that`s how I ended up doing stand up all of that stuffs.
BEHAR: That`s interesting.
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: I mean, so even though she was a horror, she still gave you that.
HAMMOND: That`s all -- yes, that`s what I did. I mean, I started young and I was doing it pretty early.
BEHAR: I mean, they say that you`re a comedic genius, when you hear that, what do you think? How does it make you feel?
HAMMOND: I don`t understand the term.
BEHAR: Comedic genius?
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: I mean, I think that you transform yourself and you transcend the character. And that`s what makes you such a good impression and such a great one. Because you`re not -- it`s not echo humor with you.
HAMMOND: What`s that mean?
BEHAR: Well, you`re not just imitating somebody, you`re finding what it is in the character that makes it funny, that makes it -- makes you want to watch it.
HAMMOND: Ok.
BEHAR: Yes.
HAMMOND: Well, that is better than it`s ever been explained to me before.
BEHAR: Good. Now, you confronted your parents years later.
HAMMOND: Yes, yes.
BEHAR: I mean, they`re both gone, I take it?
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: So you went to -- what did you do? Tell me about that.
HAMMOND: I was in the emergency room one night at New York Presbyterian Hospital. I used to buy -- own stock in. I mean I was there a lot.
BEHAR: Yes.
HAMMOND: I was there one night and I told my story to this little woman, and she said, you`re not schizophrenic, you`re not psychotic, you`re not any of these things, you`re not a multiple personality. You are this way because of something that happened to you.
BEHAR: Right.
HAMMOND: So I just sort of -- that turned my whole life around.
BEHAR: But had what had you thought before that? That there was something mentally ill with you?
HAMMOND: Yes, yes. And that it was not explainable or describable. You know, the sense that -- I mean, I think unknown terror, unnamed fears, fears you can`t pinpoint. That`s horrible.
BEHAR: Yes.
HAMMOND: It`s better to know what it is.
BEHAR: It is better.
HAMMOND: So suddenly, this woman said, here`s what`s wrong, and here`s what we`re going to do about it. And everything just began to change. Slowly, but it began to change.
BEHAR: And how long ago did that happen?
HAMMOND: That was about 13 years ago.
BEHAR: So then you started to get some therapy and try to help yourself out?
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: But you did have relapses. I mean, it didn`t -- it wasn`t that smooth, you did cut yourself last year?
HAMMOND: Yes, and I think not only were there relapses, there were -- there were -- once I started that trauma therapy. I mean part, the danger of that is that you risk the patient`s life to save it.
BEHAR: So when you went to your parents to confront them, what was that like?
HAMMOND: My mother --
BEHAR: Tell me where you were -- where were they?
HAMMOND: They were in Florida, I was in New York. And I called up and said I`m in therapy for being tortured, being tortured. And there was a pause, and she said in a husky tone, "Don`t ever call us again," click.
And then we didn`t speak until they died.
BEHAR: So no remorse, no empathy for their child, nothing?
HAMMOND: Oh, my God no.
BEHAR: Nothing.
HAMMOND: My father on the other hand, he did have that.
I mean we, I had done a show with Obama at SNL the night before. And they said my father was dying and he had only a day or so left, if that. And he had taken himself off his morphine so that I could get there. And we got there.
And he had arrayed his war medals across the chest so say, "Here`s who I am." And I thought that was just enough. It was just fine. Great. I mean I felt like I understood. I had a dad, you know.
BEHAR: Yes. You feel for your father.
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: He suffered too.
HAMMOND: Badly.
BEHAR: He suffered.
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: Ok. We`ll be back after a quick break.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Let`s just go to animal sounds for $600. This is the sound a doggy makes. Mr. Connery?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Moo.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, that`s the sound your mother made last night.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: I`m back with comedian Darrell Hammond. So funny. See what I mean?
HAMMOND: Why is that the funniest thing that ever I did? I mean it doesn`t make any sense that Sean Connery, A, hates Trebek. B, it`s not tomorrow (ph). He continually goes on this show just to harangue Trebek. And you know, usually you think the audience has to know what the premise is and agree with it.
But here`s something bizarre. I mean I just was in my office one night. And I was doing lines from the movie "The Untouchables" and Will Farrell was there doing Alex Trebek. And I said, "Not offending ladies, are you, Trebek?" I don`t know why. And I think I only mentioned I think Western civilization.
BEHAR: You know, I was reading the book and I was thinking, you know, as a comedian, we both sort of had to do the same sort of -- I did much less of roadwork than you did. But you were a total road warrior. You said that you drove 1,000 miles a week on the road doing stand up?
HAMMOND: Sure. Sure. With Billy Gardell (ph) who`s now on "Mike & Molly". He was just a kid at the time. And he would drive. We`d take turns driving. He`s a big guy. Occasionally he had to collect the money. I`m sure you`ve heard stories like that.
BEHAR: Tough road, oh man.
HAMMOND: The guys would just say, I`m not paying you.
BEHAR: Right. 1:00 in the morning with like three drunks in the audience; that was a nightmare.
HAMMOND: In Murfreesboro, Tennessee and they don`t like you. Yes.
BEHAR: What was the worst? Did you have any hell-gig stories?
HAMMOND: I used to play these sports bars where they would put the game up on TV.
BEHAR: While you`re performing?
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: Oh, yes, that`s always --
HAMMOND: So, you`re part of -- they`re making out. They have -- I remember they had these punch bowls at the table and they were they were sipping with these long straws so that everyone at the table could gallons of Long Island iced tea. They were making out, they were fighting, the NBA playoffs were on. And I`m out there, any birthdays? Who`s got a birthday, anniversaries?
Guys and girls are different.
BEHAR: Oh, it`s a nightmare in hell. People have no idea what it`s like. People love your Bill Clinton impression. I want to watch something at the White House Correspondents` Dinner of you. Let`s watch this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMOND: Typically, when I come in to mop up at the end of an event like this, I just finish reading from some prepared text and say things like, we must find common ground. We`re going to build a bridge to the 21st century.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMOND: He`s such a nice guy.
BEHAR: He is a great guy, Bill Clinton.
HAMMOND: He`s the nicest man.
BEHAR: He is a sweet guy. I mean they did a number on him with that Lewinsky thing. And the comedians were horrible. I was terrible.
HAMMOND: Me, too. I was, too. I was, too.
BEHAR: And so were you. We were terrible. Please forgive us Bill.
HAMMOND: And the guy is -- he`s the nicest fellow, and has reached out on more than one occasion to demonstrate no hard feelings.
BEHAR: And they don`t get mad. They don`t get mad, politicians.
HAMMOND: He doesn`t. I think maybe some do, but I`ve never seen it.
BEHAR: No. Hillary, she doesn`t even --
HAMMOND: I don`t think she --
BEHAR: She doesn`t care.
HAMMOND: I don`t think she does. She`s got bigger fish to fry.
BEHAR: We have to take another break. But we have more with you so stay right there.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: OK, we`re back with comedian Darrell Hammond. You had trouble doing -- playing John McCain. I read in the book that, you know, because he is -- he was wounded in Vietnam and all that--
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: And -- so tell me about that, because that`s--
HAMMOND: I was -- I was, you know -- I had just reached the I think highest spot of my life`s prime at a very late age, bonding with my father and learning that he was a soldier, and I lived in a soldier`s home. And it was -- you know, when they play "Taps" at a military funeral, I mean, that`s powerful.
BEHAR: That`s sad.
HAMMOND: And that -- I had just gone through that, and now I was asked to play Senator McCain, who is a great guy, and --
BEHAR: Yes.
HAMMOND: I couldn`t do it. I mean, I didn`t want to let Lorne down either, but I just was not going to make fun of this guy.
BEHAR: So, you never did it?
HAMMOND: Well, I did it.
BEHAR: Yes.
HAMMOND: But it was really half baked stuff. You know, I just couldn`t pull the trigger.
BEHAR: OK, how did you do the arm and the handicap in a way?
HAMMOND: I`m not -- not happening.
BEHAR: And you couldn`t pull it off.
HAMMOND: I wouldn`t.
BEHAR: Yes.
HAMMOND: I just wouldn`t.
BEHAR: Yes.
HAMMOND: You know, and I didn`t want to let Lorne down, on the other hand, so I just went out there and did something that was good enough to get the laughs that we needed. But I wasn`t going to do that. And he`s such a gracious guy.
BEHAR: But didn`t he say -- didn`t you tell Lorne that it was the first impression that you ever saw--
HAMMOND: He said it was the best of him. I thought he was being kind to me.
BEHAR: He is a very nice person.
HAMMOND: He is.
BEHAR: I mean, I don`t want him to be president, I didn`t vote for him. But I think he`s a nice guy.
HAMMOND: Great guy.
BEHAR: Yes You also do a great Dick Cheney. So, Let`s look at a clip of my favorite, Dick Cheney.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
HAMMOND: I`d like to take this time to address concerns about my health and the fact that George W.`s only a heartbeat away from the presidency. Well, from now on, I`m going to be hooked up to a portable heart monitor at all times. Turn this baby on. The sounds of this monitor will comfort all who hear it, reminding them that Dick Cheney is alive and relatively well.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Didn`t he ask you -- didn`t you perform for him in his bunker or something?
HAMMOND: It was a -- beneath a hotel in Virginia, a very unremarkable room to have the Republican power structure of the United States.
BEHAR: Beneath the hotel?
HAMMOND: Yes, in the basement.
BEHAR: In the basement. He invited you to come and do Clinton, right?
HAMMOND: To do Clinton making fun of him and his pals as Clinton. That was his idea, and he was the best laugher, and it was a great idea. They had a great time.
BEHAR: Did they pay you?
HAMMOND: No, no.
BEHAR: Oh, a freebie from the Republican Party --
HAMMOND: Oh, come on, it`s the vice president. I mean, it`s kind of an honor.
BEHAR: I would have demanded cash from Cheney, are you kidding me? I don`t work free for Republicans.
You also have some kind of joke with George W., they were all such great sports when you make fun of them, aren`t they?
HAMMOND: Yeah.
BEHAR: And some of the impressions are scathing. And they still say, thank you, that was great.
HAMMOND: Yeah, I love that, and I was always -- I`ve always been a little scared of those guys, you know, those politicians, but they`ve always been real nice.
BEHAR: Yeah. Is there anybody who turned on you?
HAMMOND: Not that I`m aware of.
BEHAR: No? No. You must tell me, I know this is jumping around, but I just remembered this story when you used crack. Describe the crack -- describe that to me. Just the --
HAMMOND: OK, take the greatest orgasm you ever had, multiply it by five, and prolong it for 12 hours.
BEHAR: That`s what it`s like to smoke crack?
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: So what`s the down side?
HAMMOND: Yeah, no down side. Death, destruction, and -- but that`s a -- it`s well worth it.
BEHAR: And you also had a couple of stalkers, I understand?
HAMMOND: Yeah, I mean, it`s really when I really wanted to leave SNL when I got my second stalker. I didn`t want a bodyguard anymore. You know, we`re comics, right, we`re funny, we like making people laugh. And here`s someone that`s trying to kill you. I mean, I`m leaving NBC the same way that Hillary and Obama leave, you know, in a sub-basement in a secret tunnel. I didn`t want that anymore.
BEHAR: Were you the only one?
HAMMOND: I think there were others, but it wasn`t something that was discussed.
BEHAR: Was it someone that was out to hurt you or someone that loved you?
HAMMOND: The first one wanted to kill me and my family. But also had a shrine to me in her apartment.
BEHAR: Oh, weird.
HAMMOND: The second one kept claiming that I was her uncle, even though she was of a different race and from a different country. And I have no brother. And -- but the second one was kind of mild in comparison. But it was enough. I didn`t want to be afraid for my life anymore.
BEHAR: So now, let`s talk about you now. Because we`re almost to the end of this interview, which I`m enjoying. You wrote a book, you are finished with SNL. What now, what are you doing now?
HAMMOND: Well, I`m doing "Are We There Yet, the Ice Cube sitcom on WTBS next year.
BEHAR: So you`re going to be in a sitcom?
HAMMOND: Yes.
BEHAR: Who will you be playing?
HAMMOND: I`ll be playing a psycho.
BEHAR: No kidding.
HAMMOND: Yeah.
BEHAR: I wonder who thought of that?
HAMMOND: Not a stretch, right?
BEHAR: No.
HAMMOND: It`s terrible.
BEHAR: How do you feel about that? You are going to have to do the lines, you`re going to have to stand in a certain place. You know, it`s a little bit restrictive, a sitcom.
HAMMOND: We`ll see what happens. You know, I have a movie coming out, in which I play another psycho. And also I`m going to do something for Will Ferrell`s Funny or Die. Probably just some stuff with them, I mean, we`re talking about that now.
BEHAR: I still have to end with the story of Lucian Halt (ph) at the Comic Strip. You first -- the people love to hear this. When you first auditioned at the Comic Strip back in the day, what did he tell you?
HAMMOND: He said -- and you know how as a comic, you go up and you have your best set ever. And I had my best set ever, and he sat me down and he was like, I don`t see any reason why you should come back here. And I`m like, I thought I had a really good set. He goes, look at the wall. He shows me Farley, Sandler, Rock, Murphy on the wall. He`s like, we`re about stars, we`re about people that have it. I don`t think you have it. And I don`t think you should come back. And I would have shot myself if I could afford a shotgun. I didn`t even have -- I had like enough -- literally change to get back to Brooklyn. That`s horrible.
BEHAR: That`s horrible.
HAMMOND: That`s pretty bad.
BEHAR: He used to tell that to people a lot, that you`re never going to make it, so just get out of the business. Yeah. You weren`t the only one. I heard other stories. I never went there, because I don`t need the rejection. I went to Catch, Catch a Rising Star.
But if they turn this book into a movie, who would you like to see play you? Let`s play that game.
HAMMOND: Really?
BEHAR: Yeah. Mickey Rourke, Robert Downey, Jr., Meryl Streep?
HAMMOND: Philip Seymour Hoffman.
BEHAR: Who?
HAMMOND: Philip Seymour Hoffman.
BEHAR: Philip Seymour Hoffman. Yes. Perfect. And the two of you played Truman Capote. It has such symmetry, I love it.
HAMMOND: I don`t know if I could be more flattered than that. Yeah.
BEHAR: All I can say is good luck to you, you`re a fantastic talent.
HAMMOND: Thank you.
BEHAR: And a lovely guy. And it`s lovely to have you here.
HAMMOND: Back at you.
BEHAR: Darrell Hammond. His book is called "God, if You`re Not Up There, I`m [EXPLETIVE DELETED]." We`ll be right back. I so enjoy saying that title.
HAMMOND: It`s great.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: At last night`s GOP debate, Rick Perry had a brain freeze when it came to naming which federal agencies he would cut if he were president. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PERRY: There`s three agencies of government that when I get there that are gone -- Commerce, Education and the -- what`s the third one there? Let`s see.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You can`t name the third one?
PERRY: The third agency of government, I would do away with Education, the -- Commerce -- and let`s see. I can`t, the third one I can`t. Sorry. Oops.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Say God forbid. On a scale of one to Dan Quayle trying to spell potato, how does this rate as a political gaffe? Joining me now to talk about this and other pop culture stories in the news are Andy Cohen, host of "Watch What Happens Live." China Okasi, social commentator and founder of ChinaOkasi.com. And comedian Jo Koy.
Jo, what do you think?
JO KOY, COMEDIAN: What do I--
BEHAR: Yeah, what do you think?
KOY: This is supposed to be our next president, I guess? I think that`s like a prerequisite is like to know what you`re talking about. You know what I mean? We don`t want our president to be like in front of the camera, he`s like, I know we`re going to go to a war, and we`re going to fight this country. Who is it again? China, yeah. I`m tired of you Koreans fighting us like that.
BEHAR: Well, I mean, it`s happened to all of us at some point. So--
CHINA OKASI, SOCIAL COMMENTATOR: No, not really.
KOY: Not at that level.
OKASI: There`s three letters to the USA, there`s U, S and what`s the third one again? It was really that ridiculous. And I`m actually quite surprised at him because he`s so robotic that you would think that he would have this stuff memorized by now, because he talks like a robot.
ANDY COHEN, HOST, "WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE": And what we`ll never know is why does he want to close these agencies?
BEHAR: Like the EPA for example? They want regulations, they want us all to suffocate to death.
(CROSSTALK)
OKASI: We`re doing so poorly in education. We`re ranking like 17th in math and science compared to other countries. Why -- forget about the gaffe, think about the actual content of what he`s saying. Why would you want to in four years close down the Department of Education? It makes absolutely no sense.
KOY: I have the answer. Because he doesn`t know the answer. Right? I mean, if I don`t know the answer, no one knows the answer. I`m from Texas.
BEHAR: You know what, he`s going on Letterman tonight. You think --
COHEN: You know what, I give it to him for embracing the idiocy of this situation. But now he`s using it as a --
BEHAR: As a fund-raising --
COHEN: Yeah, exactly.
BEHAR: He`s got something like encourage and support, send $5 for every government agency they would like to forget.
OKASI: Oh, my god.
BEHAR: That`s clever though, isn`t it?
KOY: No, it`s not.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: He raised more money after he allegedly harassed these women.
OKASI: But the GOP constituency tends to fall for stuff like this. Look at Herman Cain,. people Are like, woo-hoo sexual harassment, up in the polls he goes.
COHEN: I think Sarah Palin taught us, you know, you can mess up continually, but as long as you say oops, I screwed up, then it seems to be OK, that makes you human.
BEHAR: That`s true. But you notice she`s not around any more. Take a hint, Perry.
KOY: No, you know what`s going to happen? You keep messing up and forgetting stuff, reality show, that is what he`s going to have next.
(CROSSTALK)
COHEN: Not on Bravo.
BEHAR: You heard it here, Rick Perry. Not on Bravo.
COHEN: Don`t get me into this.
BEHAR: Don`t engage him in this.
OK, in other geo (ph) debate news, there`s more. The audience booed the moderators for bringing up the sexual harassment claims against Herman Cain, specifically Maria Bartiromo. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MARIA BARTIROMO, CNBC: In recent days we have learned that four different women have accused you of inappropriate behavior. Here we`re focusing on character and on judgment. You`ve been a CEO.
(BOOS)
JOHN HARWOOD, CNBC: Are you persuaded by what Mr. Cain has said? Would you keep him on if you had bought his company?
(BOOS)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: You know, at one of the other debates, they cheered executions. What is wrong with the audiences that go to these debates? What is that?
OKASI: And what does this really say about what they think about women? Undercutting those questions is really what is your respect level for women? Zilch, zero, nothing, if you have four accusers coming out against you and you can`t really speak to the truth. What is wrong with the GOP? The other time they booed a gay soldier who is like serving their country. What is going on with you the GOP constituency?
BEHAR: The base has gone berserk in my opinion.
COHEN: Well, I don`t know why that`s not relevant. I don`t know why that`s not relevant.
BEHAR: What?
COHEN: These questions of -- I don`t know why that`s not relevant to the audience. We spent a long time talking about Bill Clinton and his -- you know, what happened. Exactly, his -- so now we have someone who`s running for office, and this is a question. It came up, by the way, Bill Clinton went on 60 Minutes to discuss it.
BEHAR: About what? About his harassment claims?
COHEN: Right. Yes. About--
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: His wife stood by him, Hillary did. You remember? Do you think Mrs. Cain will stand by Herman if more people come out?
OKASI: That`s the playbook.
KOY: What was her name again that asked the question?
(CROSSTALK)
KOY: And later on, he called her Princess Maria?
COHEN: No, he called Nancy Pelosi.
KOY: Oh, he called her princess?
BEHAR: Princess Nancy, he said.
KOY: Yes. It`s like he`s almost like, he`s like, you know, I`m in a zone, I`m known for this sexual harassment, I`m going to -- listen, princess.
(CROSSTALK)
KOY: You call a woman -- you know what I mean? It`s like disrespectful, he doesn`t care. Princess. Hey, hot legs, let me answer that question for you.
BEHAR: That kind of shows how kind of like tone deaf he is.
OKASI: What`s scary is they polled the GOP and the majority of them - - almost half of them had zero, as in none at all, no concerns about the charges that are being made against Cain.
BEHAR: That`s true. It looks like they don`t really care.
COHEN: They don`t care.
OKASI: The social conservative base is ruling the GOP right now.
BEHAR: Look what they did to Anita Hill. I mean, the woman who comes out is always destroyed in these kinds of things.
Here`s another story, completely out of politics.
KOY: Right turn.
BEHAR: Sort of. I mean, Mario Batali, the chef, he`s in hot water for a comment he made at a Time magazine person of the year panel comparing Wall Street bankers to murderous dictators. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MARIO BATALI: The way the bankers have kind of toppled the way money is distributed and taken most of it into their own hands is as good as Stalin or Hitler and the evil guys that you guys have--
(CROSSTALK)
BATALI: They`re not heroes, they`re just people that really had a huge effect on the way the world`s operated.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Of course he got into trouble. How many times have I said this? Even comparing Hitler to Hitler is a bad idea. Do you know how many times Eva Braun got in trouble for doing that? You`re like Hitler, and he`s like, what are you picking on me for?
KOY: Yeah, Hitler`s saying, don`t compare him to me.
BEHAR: Don`t compare Hitler to me.
COHEN: You can`t. You cannot. It`s something you can`t do. It`s on the list.
BEHAR: No. Hank Williams, Jr., John Galiano and Lars Von Trier, the famous director, Swedish I guess.
COHEN: Yes.
BEHAR: Who did it, and they all got into trouble. And now Mario Batali sticks his --
COHEN: And the bankers are really P.O`ed at him. And these are people who go to his restaurant, which are fairly expensive. And you know, he sells a lot of private room events to them, and the bankers are all pissed and saying they`re not going to support him.
BEHAR: But you know what the good news is, there`s tables available. You could never get in there.
(CROSSTALK)
COHEN: Let`s go to Baba (ph) tomorrow 8:00, 8:00 for four please.
KOY: I want to make a reservation and go, two for Hitler.
OKASI: (inaudible) to be fair, sometimes you lack the words. It`s like, what`s the synonym for really, really bad? Hitler, Stalin, you know, so at the same time, it`s wrong. I`m not saying it`s right, but --
(CROSSTALK)
OKASI: It`s something that people just go to. It`s like really, really bad, Hitler.
BEHAR: Yeah, that`s true.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Apologize for what? I mean, because you used Hitler, you insulted bankers? Or what? What are you apologizing for?
COHEN: He`s apologizing for the Hitler thing.
BEHAR: That he used Hitler as the thing?
OKASI: But the content of what he was saying was true. I mean, bankers are greedy and they have turned the economy upside down, and they`ve gotten a lot of bailouts for the mistakes that they`ve made, we have had to pay for. So he does have credibility there. It`s just the comparison was over the top. But again, like I said, sometimes the reflex, really bad, Hitler.
KOY: Yes. He`s apologizing, he said the bankers are taking a ton of money. It`s kind of like genocide.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: You can`t really--
KOY: It`s horrible.
BEHAR: -- use words to describe things like this, because nobody`s dead. Number one.
OK. We`re going to take a break. We`ll have more of this chit chat when we come back. Chat chat?
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with my lovely panel. Now, the Toronto Zoo has sparked outrage with its decision to break up Buddy and Pedro, two male penguins who are so inseparable people call them gay. I mean, let me tell you something. They`re not doing anything. They`re just hugging and relating to each other. And they`re --
COHEN: It`s true. What the issue is, that there are -- there`s a dearth of penguins in Toronto, I guess.
BEHAR: Really?
COHEN: And they want them to mate.
BEHAR: Procreate.
COHEN: Yes. Exactly. So I feel like -- and they said they will reunite Pedro and the other one after they`ve done their business with other people. And I feel like if there was a shortage of humans--
BEHAR: Yeah.
COHEN: They could send me off. I would mate. And then as long as they brought me back with my partner, I would do it. So what`s the deal?
BEHAR: Are you telling me that being gay is a choice now?
COHEN: No, I`m absolutely not. No, but if you need me to mate to save the population, I`ll do it.
BEHAR: I know a lot of guys who are gay who sleep with women anyway, and they just make the substitution.
COHEN: All right. That`s another --
OKASI: That`s a whole another show.
(CROSSTALK)
KOY: Why don`t they just let this gay penguin couple adopt other penguins? Like nice healthy gay couples do.
BEHAR: Because they`re gay (inaudible), they`re not lesbians.
OK. After suffering a freak stroke, a 26-year-old self-proclaimed straight British -- so-called straight British rugby player says he woke up gay. You know what this means, Andy. Another viewer for Bravo.
COHEN: How long have you been working on that one, Joy?
BEHAR: A couple of minutes.
COHEN: A couple minutes.
BEHAR: Yeah. So what do you think, can a person transform themselves like that overnight?
COHEN: Look, he woke up -- he had a stroke.
BEHAR: And suddenly he`s interested in sleeping with men?
COHEN: Guess what else. You also didn`t mention, he dropped 150 pounds. He got a new hairdo. He really cleaned himself up.
BEHAR: Because if he wants to be gay, he`d better drop 115 --
(CROSSTALK)
COHEN: No, no, he could be a bear. He could be a bear.
KOY: Rugby players are very --
(CROSSTALK)
OKASI: He wanted to come out, but he didn`t know how, and he said yes, stroke, perfect opportunity.
BEHAR: That`s what I think.
COHEN: No, no, no.
KOY: I think you can find the truth by asking the other rugby players on his team, like when they are in the dog pile, you know what, every dog pile he had a little chubby going on.
BEHAR: Can I just say this one little point? Once he turned gay, he didn`t want to play rugby anymore. He became a hairdresser.
OKASI: You see, that`s so stereotypical. I mean, why can`t you be a cute football player and be gay?
BEHAR: Why wasn`t he a hairdresser when -- he before--
COHEN: He had a little bit of a personality change and --
KOY: Andy, are you saying the stroke, you can be gay after the stroke?
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: -- and do their hair from now on.
COHEN: I don`t think it`s something you would just choose. It`s radical. It`s radical. A straight guy wouldn`t just say oh, now I want to be gay.
BEHAR: I`ve got to go. Thank you guys very much.
COHEN: You`ve got to go.
BEHAR: You can catch Andy Cohen on "Watch What Happens Live" Sundays and Mondays at 11:00 p.m. on Bravo. And Joe Koy will be performing in town hall in New York City on November 14TH as part of the New York Comedy Festival. Thank you for watching. Good night, everybody. Thank you, guys.
END
