Return to Transcripts main page
Joy Behar Page
Hugh Grant`s Tabloid Testimony; Modern Family Man
Aired November 22, 2011 - 22:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
ANNOUNCER: Coming up on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, Hugh Grant testifies about the danger of the British tabloids. But will it even make a difference in our gossip-obsessed culture.
And "Modern Family`s" Eric Stonestreet talks about his hilarious role on the Emmy-winning show.
Plus a look back at one of Joy`s wildest, most memorable interviews; her chat with British actor, Malcolm McDowell.
That and more starting right now.
JOY BEHAR, HOST: Yesterday, Hugh Grant testified in a London courtroom about how British tabloids hacked into his phone, his medical records and his home. I know how Hugh feels because modern maturity has been up my ass since 2009.
With me now to talk about this and other pop culture stories in the news are Illeana Douglas, actress and creator of the Web series, "Easy to Assemble"; Comedian Judy Gold, star of "The Judy Show, My Life as a Sitcom"; and Sarah Bernard, host of "The Thread" on Yahoo. Welcome, ladies to the show.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Ok. So Illeana, you`re an actress.
ILLEANA DOUGLAS, ACTRESS: Yes I am. That`s what they say.
BEHAR: So is Judy, of course.
SARAH BERNARD, HOST, "THE THREAD" ON YAHOO. : I could be.
BEHAR: You could be. Why not? You`re an actress, too. Has anyone ever done that to you? Invasion of privacy like that?
DOUGLAS: Yes.
BEHAR: They have? What did they do?
DOUGLAS: This happened to me a lot. I had my identity stolen, which I already questioned who would want to steal my identity in the first place. It must have been a very quirky person. One other quirky person wanted my identity and it was Zooey Deschanel, actually. I can now reveal.
BEHAR: What do you mean Zooey Deschanel?
DOUGLAS: No, that was just a silly joke.
BEHAR: That`s a joke.
BEHAR: I`m sorry. I don`t know, maybe it`s true.
DOUGLAS: No, no, of course not. God, no. No, I had it happen. It`s horrifying. This whole thing with privacy is a huge issue, especially Internet and people stealing intellectual property.
BEHAR: This is magazines and hacking into the celebrity stuff and then going and then publishing it.
DOUGLAS: Yes.
BERNARD: You know what cracks me up about this though? Celebrities are always trying to say, we`re just like real people, we need to be respected. Everything I learned from his testimony proves that his life is not like a real person. It is an unbelievable soap opera. There`s like secret emergency room visits. He`s having a baby with this woman. He`s having affairs with this person. I mean it was like I imagined a celebrity`s life is but they always tried to say, no, no, we`re boring.
JUDY GOLD, COMEDIAN: Sure. I don`t understand why they care so much.
BEHAR: About Hugh Grant`s life?
GOLD: Yes, who cares?
BEHAR: (INAUDIBLE) Look at how excited she is?
BERNARD: "Four Weddings and a Funeral".
BEHAR: That`s ok. Have you ever had this happen?
GOLD: Who`s going to -- what would they get? They would come in my apartment and go, "Let`s get the hell out of here."
BEHAR: What about hacking into your phone for your $4 million phone calls to your mother.
GOLD: You know, they could hack in my phone and hear, "What the hell are they canceling that show for? She is brilliant." Meshuggene. That`s what they would hear.
BEHAR: I have to tell you that one of the magazines is denying it. So I mean Hugh Grant can say they did it and they`re saying no. What does it mean?
BERNARD: I think at this point, how can we trust either of them, right? But they do have some proof because he said that they came into his department, they`re denying it and then later there was a description. I mean so how would they know it? I think that we actually have to believe Hugh.
GOLD: How do you get the job of sneaking into -- I`ll do it. I`ll sneak into his apartment. I don`t understand. That`s your job?
BEHAR: They get paid. They get paid, you know.
DOUGLAS: It`s usually a friend.
BEHAR: News competition.
But you know who`s coming up? J.K. Rowling and Sienna Miller are going to testify. These are high-profile people. I don`t think it looks good for the "News of the World", do you.
BERNARD: No.
GOLD: "News of the World".
BEHAR: Well, whatever it`s called.
Ok. Moving along, Catholic groups are outraged that Pam Anderson has been cast as the Virgin Mary in a Nativity scene in a Canadian TV special. I guess they`re casting against type because the three wise men are being played by Rick Perry, Herman Cain and "The Situation". Ok.
Judy, shouldn`t they be glad she`s playing with clothes on?
GOLD: Exactly. And you know, everyone knows Mary had breast augmentation. But the thing is the Catholic Church is getting so upset, like they never pose as different people. You know it`s just -- the whole thing is just ridiculous. It`s a joke.
DOUGLAS: I think it`s good they --
BEHAR: It`s comedy.
DOUBLAS: Yes, it dispels any rumors that the Catholic priests are all gay that they would put --
GOLD: That they would put Pamela Anderson in.
BEHAR: I know. It`s true. But you know what they were going to do? They were going to have Mary kiss Joseph and that was taken out. So they`re nervous, even though it`s comedy.
BERNARD: This guy sounds like he`s trying to be a Sascha Baron Cohen type of guy. So he`s just -- I think his casting was actually brilliant because how many -- I mean do we ever talk about Canadian in a holiday specials?
BEHAR: Yes. True. Aren`t you Canadian?
BERNARD: No, you always say that.
GOLD: She`s an actress. She`s an actress.
BEHAR: I always think she`s a Canadian.
BERNARD: I`m the one from New York.
BEHAR: Oh, that`s right. That`s right. I`m thinking of somebody who is as pretty as you are.
BERNARD: Thank you. I wonder who that is.
BEHAR: Ok. So let`s talk about the Donald. His new book, "Time to Get Tough", he`s written it and he claims that he`s worth a whopping $7 billion and that he still may run for president. $7 billion; hey, Donald, want to buy a talk show? Ok.
Now, Forbes estimates that his wealth is actually $2.9 billion, he has a little bit of an inflated view of himself, I think.
GOLD: Really? I never noticed that before. Interesting.
BEHAR: He seems so unassuming.
GOLD: I know. He would make a great president, I think.
BEHAR: He says that his name is worth alone -- the name alone is worth $3 billion. $2 billion for Trump and $1 billion for the. What do you think of all that? He`s thinking of running for president still, Sarah.
BERNARD: I think it`s hilarious. I mean I actually like that he might throw his hat in because then it will distract everybody. People will actually pay attention to them and then hopefully in the end, it won`t happen. I would like the current president to stay where he is. That`s my plan.
GOLD: And of course, his campaign slogan, "We Shall Overcome".
BERNARD: We shall overcome. Can you honestly --
BEHAR: That`s funny.
BERNARD: Can you honestly imagine first lady, Melania Trump?
GOLD: No.
BERNARD: I mean just like there`s so many aspects that they just seem like such an awesome TV show.
GOLD: And his VP is Michele Bachmann.
BEHAR: Yes. What`s that about?
GOLD: What`s that about?
BEHAR: Well, yes.
GOLD: I`m going to pray that ticket away.
DOUGLAS: He should run because you know, with all the Republicans, I`m sure the minute he`s in the spotlight something terrible will happen and then there`ll be a new crisis.
BEHAR: Of course.
(CROSSTALK)
GOLD: And they`ll talk about Trump`s hair instead of Mitt Romney`s hair.
BEHAR: No one likes Mitt -- they still do not want to vote for Mitt Romney. There`s a whole thing "not Mitt Romney". And what is that? Is it because he`s a Mormon, do you think?
DOUGLAS: He`s got that hair club for men look.
BEHAR: Do you think that`s it?
DOUGLAS: Yes.
BERNARD: That hair.
DOUGLAS: He`s got the jeans, he`s wearing mom jeans. I can`t figure out his hair. Even when he tries to relax his hair, it seems -- very disturbing about him.
BEHAR: But Ronald Reagan had the hair and he had the mom jeans a little bit.
GOLD: They were in style then.
BEHAR: They were? They were never in style.
GOLD: The `80s. You know, the mom jeans.
BERNARD: He could pull it off.
DOUGLAS: He can`t pull it off.
BEHAR: I mean who`s going to get the nomination, do you think? They had a debate tonight. I watched it and tweeted. I hope people followed me. But, anyway.
GOLD: I`m still for Hillary.
BEHAR: But anyway, what about that? Who do you think is going to get the nomination? I`m just curious, what do you think?
GOLD: It`s got to be Mitt.
DOUGLAS: It`s got to be Mitt.
GOLD: It`s got to be Mitt. I mean is Newt Gingrich going to get it?
BEHAR: He could.
GOLD: He told that guy to take a bath and get a job.
BEHAR: He had a little thing with Freddie and Fannie. But they`ll get him. Everybody is going to get pounced upon.
GOLD: Right.
BEHAR: That`s all.
DOUGLAS: Yes. There`s no way.
BEHAR: Ok. Here`s a good story, Jessica Simpson is reportedly in talks with Weight Watchers for a potential $4 million deal to lose her baby weight after she gives birth, being paid to lose pregnancy weight. Mrs. Duggar should look into this. She could be a billionaire.
DOUGLAS: I`ll go on record, I`ll lose weight for much less than $4 million.
(CROSSTALK)
BERNARD: I don`t actually think this is bad. What I love about --
GOLD: What?
BERNARD: No, I don`t. What I love about Jessica Simpson is that she seems to have a real body.
BEHAR: Yes, she does.
BERNARD: The clothes that she designs for --
BEHAR: Not that she wants it.
BERNARD: Right. But they fit real people. She has a real body. What bothers me more and then if she does a plan like Weight Watchers, that`s a healthy way to lose weight. What freaks me out more is when you celebrities like Victoria Beckham, who I admire for her fashion clothes. But she, all of a sudden, had a baby. It`s like she was a snake, right. Then the baby came and she`s back to like the size of my pinky. That is not real.
BEHAR: Are you saying she laid eggs?
BERNARD: I don`t know. Maybe.
GOLD: $4 million?
BERNARD: If she does it in a healthy way, that`s a good example, don`t you think?
DOUGLAS: She`s not really that heavy, is she?
BEHAR: No.
GOLD: She`s going to do it anyway.
BEHAR: Well, no. Not necessarily. I lost 30 pounds on Jenny Craig. I haven`t lost a pound since then. They have to pay me to lose weight or I have to pay them. It has to be -- money has to be exchanged.
DOUGLAS: There`s no shortage of heavy people on TV with all these weight loss shows. It`s like people seem to be getting fatter and fatter.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Well, I think it`s one message to send out to pregnant women, that immediately after the baby you have to be like Victoria Beckham. So wrong.
All right guys, thanks so much. This was a lively group. I love it.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: And if you`re in Florida, you can see Miss Judy Gold December 3rd at the Corral Springs Performing Arts Center. We`ll be back in a minute.
Next up, from the hit series, "Modern Family", the very funny Eric Stonestreet.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: ABC`s hit comedy "Modern Family" is one of the funniest shows on TV. Here`s a sneak peek from their Thanksgiving show.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So we finally launched the pumpkin and it sails through the air, goal post to goal post, past the end zone into the parking lot through the open roof of Lorna`s dad`s car. I turned to Cody and I say, what are the chances of that landing there? He says, where? And I say the sunroof of a preacher man.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Wa wa.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That`s Cam, one of the most beloved characters on the Emmy award winning show played by the Emmy award winning actor -- easy for you to say, Eric -- Eric Stonestreet.
ERIC STONESTREET, "MODERN FAMILY": I say it every night before I go to bed.
BEHAR: Say that three times, Emmy award winning actor?
STONESTREET: I`ve done it three times in the last hour.
BEHAR: So, it`s such a popular show, hugely popular show. It`s about a gay couple and an immigrant trophy wife. And yet I hear that conservatives love it. Is it because it`s fiction?
STONESTREET: That`s funny. I think conservatives and liberals or progressive people alike like it because it tells family stories. We`re all -- we all come from families. We all have families and I think they just find characters they relate to maybe that never would have expected they would relate to, but relate to nonetheless.
BEHAR: And yet those same people probably would not vote for gay marriage or gay rights or gay adoption.
STONESTREET: Well, it is interesting -- it is interesting because I do that we inevitably have some of those same people that wouldn`t necessarily vote for some of those agendas that are laughing their butts off at Mitch and Cam.
And I think the good news there is that there`s change happening there. They may not know it yet but they`re definitely opening their hearts and minds to realizing that these guys are -- you know, maybe that they`re gay for sure but that doesn`t define who they are.
BEHAR: Exactly. I think that that`s a very good point. Because slowly but surely people get used to it and they realize the postman could be gay, the teacher could be -- anybody -- the plumber.
STONESTREET: The gays are everywhere, right? And people are realizing it and understanding that it makes no difference. The sexual orientation has nothing to do with who you are as a person.
BEHAR: Now, you play half of a gay couple that`s raising an adopted baby and there`s another baby that`s going to be adopted. Did you get any backlash for that?
STONESTREET: No, we really haven`t, you know. We don`t know how the arc of that story is going to play out this year, if it`s going to be, you know, finalized this year or if it`s going to carry in the next season or not. But we`re definitely going to bring a new baby onto the show at some point. And what writers and creators wanted to tell was that story of how hard it is to adopt a baby, gay or straight parents alike.
BEHAR: Yes.
STONESTREET: You know it`s a tough process and our show -- our pilot picked up with us having the baby. So I know they wanted to tell the story of what all goes into adopting a child.
BEHAR: They took a shot with the pilot and it went through anyway.
STONESTREET: Yes.
BEHAR: Now, you guys have also kissed on the show. Are you trying to give Michele Bachmann a heart attack. What`s next? You know where a kiss leads.
STONESTREET: Yes, yes. I don`t know. I don`t think we`ll go much further than that. But I don`t think anybody wants to see anything more than that. But you know, we`re a loving couple and it`s just great people are accepting Mitch and Cam for being loving parents.
BEHAR: And you look like other people.
STONESTREET: Yes.
BEHAR: It`s not like you`re two GQ models, which is what --
STONESTREET: Excuse me? Let`s take that back.
BEHAR: I`m sorry. You`re GQ models but maybe the home edition.
STONESTREET: The home edition. The relatable edition.
BEHAR: Now, the other thing about Cam is that he`s a little bit of a flamboyant character, you know. Do you have any kind of backlash from the gay community about that, that it`s a stereotype or anything like that?
STONESTREET: Not really. I`ve had a few people say a couple things to me that were sort of in that direction. But for the most part -- you know, I`m knocking on glass that`s on top of wood right now that that doesn`t happen. But you know for the most part, Jesse and I are honored to meet gay guys all the time.
It just happened here in New York while I`ve been here that two people at party came up to me and said that they want to thank me because Mitch and Cam made it`s easier for them to come out to their parents.
BEHAR: That`s so sweet. That`s nice.
STONESTREET: That`s an amazing compliment. And you don`t think about those things when you decide to be an actor.
BEHAR: Do people think you`re gay because of the part?
STONESTREET: Yes, of course.
BEHAR: But they thought Charlton Heston was Jewish because he played Moses.
STONESTREET: I thought you were going to say -- well, never mind -- I`ll just get myself in trouble.
BEHAR: You can say it.
STONESTREET: A good actor.
BEHAR: Why, because he played those type of characters?
STONESTREET: He just played -- I guess we look at it now and we think -- I don`t know. Can we cut that or --
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: You don`t have to. He was good in the Orson Wells movie that he did with Rita Hayworth, I think. He had his moments. It was those parts sometimes.
STONESTREET: It`s just when I see replays of "get your damned dirty hands" or whatever that is, it`s like --
BEHAR: You will have to take it out of my cold dead hands, and all that. Well that wasn`t acting, that was him.
STONESTREET: That`s true. Shouldn`t speak ill of the dead.
BEHAR: Yes. That`s right. He had a very nice life.
What is this about you wanted to be a prison administrator if you weren`t an actor.
STONESTREET: I was going to school and getting my degree in sociology and I wanted to study -- I was studying criminal justice and wanted to be a warden at a prison.
BEHAR: Really?
STONESTREET: Yes. Isn`t that weird?
BEHAR: Most sociology majors want to be professors.
STONESTREET: Is that what most people do?
BEHAR: Well, yes, what do you do with it? Social work --
STONESTREET: Yes.
BEHAR: I`ve never heard of a warden.
STONESTREET: I`ve always been fascinated with crime and punishment. I`ve always been fascinated by it. I grew up outside of Kansas City, in the town of Leavenworth, Kansas. It`s got --
BEHAR: Oh, Leavenworth.
STONESTREET: -- yes, tons of penitentiary. When I say tons, I really literally mean there`s like six there. And so it was always the backdrop of my childhood. I was always fascinated by it. And when I found out you could study that in college, I was like ok, that makes sense, I`ll do that.
BEHAR: That`s interesting. So do you think people who live near like the Atlantic Ocean want to be oceanographers?
STONESTREET: Potentially.
BEHAR: Possible.
STONESTREET: I think so.
BEHAR: Because it`s there.
STONESTREET: Yes, grew up in New York -- I never dreamed of being an actor. I grew up very far away from the bright lights of New York or Los Angeles or anything like that. You know, I grew up with pigs and cows in my backyard and going to schools and hanging out with my friends. I never thought I would be an actor. Prison administrator makes sense.
BEHAR: Sounded good.
STONESTREET: I would have been a good one.
BEHAR: You would have.
STONESTREET: And a funny one, I hope.
BEHAR: You would have been the funniest warden that Leavenworth has ever seen.
STONESTREET: Let`s gather around, everybody. I`ve got to work on my tight five here.
BEHAR: Ok. We`re going to take a break. We`ll be right back with more or Eric Stonestreet.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Stella. Oh, my god.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What, you see her?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No. But I see myself in the role I was born to play. Stella.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That was Eric Stonestreet in the hit comedy, "Modern Family". You`re so funny.
STONESTREET: Thank you.
BEHAR: You really are funny.
STONESTREET: I appreciate that very much.
BEHAR: You know. And it must be hard to stay gay with Sophia there, right.
STONESTREET: I joke and say I`ve never actually seen her face. I`ve never gotten that high. You know, she`s a great girl. We`re very lucky with Sophia --
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: She`s been on "The View". She`s a lot of fun.
STONESTREET: She`s amazing.
BEHAR: Yes. So you know, I was so -- I was horrified to read the statistic that 15 million children in this country go to bed hungry every night.
STONESTREET: Yes.
BEHAR: I mean in this country, this superpower where the rich are so rich, you know, it`s just an outrage, if you want my opinion.
STONESTREET: Yes. Right.
BEHAR: And you`re doing something about it.
STONESTREET: Well, I`m trying to. With Pepto Bismol this year in feeding America, they`re going to donate 2 million meals to people who need them. All the viewer needs to do is go to facebook.com\peptobismol and find the "feast for all" tab and click "like". And once they click "like", Pepto is going to donate eight meals per like with a goal of 2 million meals.
BEHAR: That`s nice.
STONESTREET: It`s a great deal. And you know, it`s hard all the time sometimes to give when you don`t have a lot to give and this is a great example of an opportunity people have to let someone else do the giving for them. This year, Pepto Bismol is going to do it.
BEHAR: I wish they could find a way to continue that, after that, where we people can just click something, send a check or something and they would keep doing it.
STONESTREET: Well Feeding America is the charity, they`re the largest food-based charity in America. And you know, they also need volunteers at soup kitchens to help hand out meals.
BEHAR: Yes.
STONESTREET: I encourage people to volunteer that way as well.
BEHAR: Well, it`s a good thing you`re doing. Very good.
STONESTREET: Well, thank you very much.
BEHAR: So the mother -- I was talking to you in the greenroom. Your mother was an inspiration for this character that you do.
STONESTREET: Yes. In the beginning, she has to be so sick of me talking about this by now. My mom -- she`s like --
BEHAR: Have you told a lot of people?
STONESTREET: Well, you know, people ask. And it`s an interesting story. Because I look the way I look and I had to figure out a way to make this character sort of something else. And acting is the world of opposites. I looked to my mom to help me ground the character in some broader moments because my mom is certainly not a caricature of a person. She`s just a passionate fun person.
So, you know, my mom has hand gestures and facial expressions and I just thought with my physicality that it would work. And it works.
BEHAR: How does she feel about it?
STONESTREET: She loves it. They -- you know my parents --
BEHAR: It`s an homage.
STONESTREET: It is. And I try to include my mom and dad and my family as much as I possibly can because we`re living a dream here, you know. This is an amazing thing. So I hope they keep a good perspective on it and know that it is an homage.
BEHAR: It`s an homomage (ph).
STONESTREET: It`s an homomage. I just realized back there they were showing a clip of me the last time I was here and I almost wore the same shirt that I wore last time.
BEHAR: That`s all right. No one remembers, Eric unless we show the clip.
STONESTREET: You know, don`t. Don`t.
BEHAR: Ok. Of course, you can catch Eric on ABC`s "Modern Family" Wednesday nights at 9:00 p.m.
Thanks for joining us.
STONESTREET: Thanks Joy. Thank you.
BEHAR: We`ll be right back.
STONESTREET: Thank you.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: The great actor Malcolm McDowell`s career spans six decades and includes over 130 films. But it was his turn as a show-tune-whistling psychopath in "A Clockwork Orange," one of the most controversial movies of all time, that people still talk about. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MALCOLM MCDOWELL, ACTOR: Stop it! Stop, it please, I beg you!
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That`s how I feel watching Fox News.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: The 40th anniversary Blu-ray of "A Clockwork Orange" is out May 31st. There it is. And Malcolm McDowell is here with me now. Welcome to the show, Malcolm.
MCDOWELL: Thanks, Joy. Thank you.
BEHAR: It was banned in Britain for years, that movie. It`s such a feel-good movie. Why would they ban?
(LAUGHTER)
MCDOWELL: It wasn`t banned. It was withdrawn by Kubrick because --
BEHAR: The director.
MCDOWELL: Yes. There were death threats toward him and his family. And he talked to Scotland Yard. His wife told me this, actually. And they advised him to withdraw the film while this was, you know, current.
BEHAR: Really?
MCDOWELL: But Stanley just withdrew it for all time. And they only released it again when he passed on.
BEHAR: Ooh, wow.
MCDOWELL: Yes. But it was nothing to do with, you know -- I mean, the thing was that it had played for a year in the West End. It wasn`t like it was an economic hardship. You know, I mean, it had played its -- it had done its time, as it were.
BEHAR: Yes, yes. But didn`t you get death threats for something on "Star Trek" because you killed off Captain Kirk?
MCDOWELL: Yes.
BEHAR: What is this with the death threats? People, get a life.
MCDOWELL: Hey, listen. It`s the Internet. You know, anybody can make any threat, you know, you get on the Internet. But you know, I would have thought they should have been thrilled that I got rid of him. You know.
(LAUGHTER)
MCDOWELL: I thought they were going to give me a medal or something.
BEHAR: Yes, because he can then do those Priceline commercials.
MCDOWELL: Well, no, he went on to do "Boston Legal" and he was wonderful in that.
BEHAR: He`s very funny.
MCDOWELL: Oh, he`s very funny, yes, he is.
BEHAR: Now, you have said that "A Clockwork Orange" predicted a lot of today`s society. From -- unless I`m misquoting you. From violence to drugs to "American Idol." "American Idol" I can see.
MCDOWELL: "American Idol?"
BEHAR: How do you mean that? What do you mean?
MCDOWELL: I don`t think I said that, but I`ll answer it anyway.
BEHAR: OK, answer it.
MCDOWELL: I`ll take it. Well, you know, look, there have been gangs for what, since the Greeks. I mean, what`s "West Side Story?" It`s about gangs in New York.
BEHAR: Really? I don`t picture Plato and Aristotle in a gang.
MCDOWELL: You don`t? Hey. There was a lot of gay gangs in that day. Yes, exactly. There was a lot of gay gangs. Anyway, but you know, the Romans had gangs. You know, this -- and of course, you know, "A Clockwork Orange" said it with drugs that would put -- spiking milk in the old Korova milk bar and stuff. Of course when it first came out, there was this hoopla about the violence. But it really isn`t that violent.
BEHAR: No. It`s kind of a satire, isn`t it?
MCDOWELL: Exactly. It`s a satire. You know, it`s like can you not take a joke? I mean, all right. He rapes a woman, you know, to "Singin` in the Rain." But come on. Isn`t that funny?
BEHAR: Well, because you have to -- you have to take the satirical leap for that.
MCDOWELL: Thank you. Yes.
BEHAR: And a lot of people are too concrete-minded and they can`t do that.
MCDOWELL: No. But the thing is that`s -- you know, that was sort of an improv that just came out and bang, I went straight into "Singin` in the Rain." And a year later when I went to Hollywood, and one of the minders said, would you like to go to a party that -- there`s a lot of Hollywood stars. I said oh, yes, please, I`d love to meet some of these stars. And I go and they go, hey, Malcolm, Gene Kelly`s here. I went, oh, I`d love to meet him. I would be thrilled. And he had his back to me. The guy tapped him on the back. He goes, "Gene, I`d like you to meet Malcolm McDowell." He looks around, he looked at me, and he just turned and --
BEHAR: Whoa.
MCDOWELL: And the guy said, look, I started to apologize. I said, please, don`t apologize. I took his moment and completely wrecked it for him.
BEHAR: Oh, boy. No sense of humor.
MCDOWELL: Well, no.
BEHAR: I mean --
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: I mean, I have to say, if it`s just a plain rape, it`s a horror. But when you put the "Singin` in the Rain" to it, you know that it`s a send-up of something.
MCDOWELL: Of course. And the actress, you know, she was so great. You know, Adrian Corre (ph), she was--
BEHAR: A lot of nudity.
MCDOWELL: Well, yes. You have a rape, you`ve got to have a bit of nudity. I mean, she said to me when she came on, I hadn`t met her before, and she just looked at me, and she was a real game actress. She just said, you`re going to find out in a minute that I`m a real redhead.
BEHAR: Oh. Hello. Whoa.
MCDOWELL: And she was. She was as good as her word.
BEHAR: It`s good when the collar and the cuffs match, isn`t it?
MCDOWELL: Oh, thank God. Because we had another problem with another one where they didn`t. And Kubrick goes, could you -- so she just -- and he goes, I thought you were a blond. So they got this cockney hairdresser. It`s all right, Stanley, I can fix that. And she`s got one of these -- it`s aerosol. I can fix it. So here, it comes out green. Green. Here`s another one. Oh, my God, now it`s pink. We had certain color problems on that film.
BEHAR: Yes. Now --
MCDOWELL: What are we talking about?
BEHAR: I don`t know.
(LAUGHTER)
MCDOWELL: Pubic hair?
BEHAR: This show, you just talk about whatever you want. Now, another thing that was interesting, you worked with so many great British actors. I`m a very big Anglophile, and I love Masterpiece Theater. I love British mysteries. I am on your list of fans because -- and I also love Helen Mirren, who you did "Caligula" with. And Peter O`Toole. And you played Laurence Olivier`s lover in movie "The Collection."
MCDOWELL: Yes. Well, when you say lover, it sounds like it`s some sort of sex piece. It wasn`t that at all. It`s very in the closet.
BEHAR: Oh, it`s about two guys in the closet.
MCDOWELL: No. No. He was in the closet.
BEHAR: Oh.
MCDOWELL: And I was just really -- I would sleep with anything that moved, basically. He was an opportunist. But when we first -- the whole point is you don`t know that he`s gay. And Olivier at the read-through literally came swinging a handbag in high heels. And Alan Bates, who was the other great actor, and I were sort of -- you know. And he went on like this for a week. We kept saying to the director, Michael Apted, are you going to tell Sir? And eventually --
BEHAR: Sir Olivier, you mean?
MCDOWELL: Yes, sir, of course. There`s only one sir. You know. And we were looking through -- it had like restaurant doors in this rehearsal room. And we just saw the back of Olivier`s ears sticking out. And the director whispering in his ear. And suddenly he said, "of course, dear boy. I start big and bring it in!" So, thank God.
BEHAR: I love that. But there were rumors that--
MCDOWELL: He was great, though.
BEHAR: There were rumors that Olivier was playing for the other team.
MCDOWELL: Joy, I`m not going there.
BEHAR: OK, because he--
MCDOWELL: Of course there were rumors.
BEHAR: More than rumors. Because -- listen to the dish that I have on that.
MCDOWELL: Give it to me, baby.
BEHAR: The dish that I heard was that he would meet with Danny Kaye - -
MCDOWELL: Oh, you`ve heard that one.
BEHAR: Is it true?
MCDOWELL: Of course. Rubber gloves, baby. Straight in. Yeah. Whoo. Hey. Is this where the crown jewels are kept? Whoa.
BEHAR: But is it true, Malcolm?
MCDOWELL: Yes, it is true.
BEHAR: It is true?
MCDOWELL: I believe it`s true.
BEHAR: Oh, boy.
MCDOWELL: Yes. And let`s -- we`ll have to fill that out for the viewers, because Danny Kaye was -- they were best of friends. Very, very - -
BEHAR: I have to take a break.
MCDOWELL: Oh, do it.
BEHAR: I want you to finish the story when we come back.
MCDOWELL: We`ll have some --
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: I wouldn`t want to miss any more of this. OK.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with the very entertaining Malcolm McDowell. OK, so Danny Kaye and Laurence Oliver were having an affair.
MCDOWELL: Whoa, whoa, whoa--
BEHAR: Allegedly.
MCDOWELL: Let`s just not go there quite so fast.
BEHAR: I jumped the gun, I got excited.
MCDOWELL: No, I mean, listen, the thing was that Danny Kaye was coming to London to work with Olivier, who is directing this movie. And so Olivier, who had a real love of putting on putty noses and characters, you know, everything was sort of externalized with him in his characters.
BEHAR: Yes.
MCDOWELL: So he goes to the airport. This is before any security stuff and all that. And he borrows a customs uniform. They had uniforms in those days. And when Danny Kaye comes in, he says, excuse me, sir. Sir? Sir? Please? And Danny Kaye, goes, what? Me? Are you sure, me? He goes, yes, if you wouldn`t mind, sir, please come to the back room. I`d like to -- sorry, sir, but we`ve got to do a body search. And I`m very sorry to say this, sir, but that would include a cavity search. He goes, how dare you? I want to see the American ambassador. I want to make a phone call. No, sorry, sir, you`ll be in the clink if you start all that.
He bends him over, right? He gets the glove. Got the glove on. He`s about to penetrate him with a cavity search. And he whispered in his ear, and he goes, "Danny, welcome to London."
He goes, oh, you son of a --
(LAUGHTER)
MCDOWELL: Isn`t that great?
BEHAR: Wow. He was a practical joker, Sir Olivier.
MCDOWELL: Oh, yes. But listen, after we were doing this, we were rehearsing this play. So Alan Bates, myself, and Olivier, we go into the pub for lunch, just a quick lunch. We`re sitting in the little snug and a cockney guy comes in, and he goes, oh -- what? Hey, go on. This is the old clockwork banana, isn`t it? Oh, come on, here, here, sign, this, come on.
Oh, wait a minute. Tom Jones, isn`t it? Alan Bates. Of course it was Albert Finney. Oh come on, you`re joking. One of my favorites! So there`s this sort of impasse. And I said, well, surely you want the autograph of the greatest living actor. And he goes, oh, yes, who`s that? And I say, well, this is Sir Laurence Olivier. He goes, what, him? This old geezer? Get out of here! Nah. And he`s off. And Olivier was like seething. Alan Bates grabbed a hold of me and said, oh, my God, we`re going to pay for this this afternoon. I said, I`m not, I don`t have a scene with him, you do.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: That`s funny. Oh, my God. OK. Now, you also were in the infamous and semi-pornographic "Caligula."
MCDOWELL: What do you mean semi?
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: OK. Let`s go for it.
MCDOWELL: Darling, it was right there.
BEHAR: With Ms. Helen -- Dame Helen Mirren.
MCDOWELL: Yes. Dame Helen, showing her all.
BEHAR: Yes. And Caligula slept with his sister, right?
MCDOWELL: Oh, yes. Amongst the horses and all the rest of it.
BEHAR: Yes, he was really--
MCDOWELL: I mean, he put it to everybody. He was quite a democrat in that way.
(LAUGHTER)
MCDOWELL: OK. Let`s not get there. This is CNN that`s wafting through me.
BEHAR: But you had a couple of naked scenes with Helen. And she was quite a hot ticket in those days.
MCDOWELL: Helen was -- and still is. Gorgeous. Gorgeous.
BEHAR: She still is. Did you have fun with her? Did you have an affair with her or anything?
MCDOWELL: Joy, I`m here to tell you that of course not.
BEHAR: Oh, you did not?
MCDOWELL: No. No, I`d like to have said, oh, yes, we had a great time. Actually, she was a mate, and I loved her. We did three things. "Oh Lucky Man," the collection with Olivier. And "Caligula." And it`s amazing that she`s had such a sparkling sort of mid-career on, which is so unusual for a woman and so inspiring to other actresses, because here she`s always been a great actress, but you know, to suddenly, you know, get this great part --
BEHAR: But I think the British -- the Brits have a lot of older actresses who are still working. Maggie Smith, for one. Eileen Atkins.
MCDOWELL: Oh, yes. Yes, great, great actresses.
BEHAR: A lot of them work on Masterpiece Theater and the mystery series and all that.
MCDOWELL: Well, they`ve got such a good theater, you know, the West End and the National and the Royal Shakespeare Company, that can keep them employed, thank goodness.
BEHAR: You weren`t invited to the royal wedding, I take it.
MCDOWELL: Oh, yes.
BEHAR: You were?
MCDOWELL: It was fabulous.
BEHAR: You went?
MCDOWELL: I was right behind David Beckham and next to the woman with the funny hat that got all the signals --
BEHAR: You mean the queen?
MCDOWELL: Oh, yes, that`s who it was. Which queen are we talking about?
BEHAR: I don`t know. There are so many in Britain.
MCDOWELL: No, no. As if I`d be invited to the wedding.
BEHAR: You weren`t invited.
MCDOWELL: Of course not.
BEHAR: You`re pulling my leg.
MCDOWELL: Yes.
BEHAR: Why wouldn`t you be invited? You`re a big star. A big actor, British actor.
MCDOWELL: I think I`m a little bit too on the edge for the royals.
BEHAR: Too much porn.
MCDOWELL: No, not too much porn. In fact, they probably -- that would be a reason to invite.
(LAUGHTER)
MCDOWELL: Actually, that`s a funny story. That I had dinner with Princess Margaret, who is the -- of course was the sister of the queen.
BEHAR: Yes.
MCDOWELL: She was sitting next to me, and she was smoking in between, I mean, courses. And then she turned to me and went, my husband tells me you did a film about rape. What`s the matter, Joy? Are you all right?
BEHAR: I`m laughing at you. You`re just hilarious.
MCDOWELL: And I was like -- so uncomfortable because I had to call her, you know, your royal highness. I mean, you know, and I`m really rather Republican for all that. So I said, yes, ma`am, I did a film about rape and other things. And at that moment Gore Vidal, who`d brought me along and who was a friend of hers, leaned in and said, "she wants you to go home with her." And I said, Gore, not even for England.
(LAUGHTER)
MCDOWELL: You can`t get past those thighs, darling. You can`t. You can`t.
BEHAR: Margaret. She was a hefty girl. Oh, yes, really? I heard she was quite the beotch. You know what I`m saying?
MCDOWELL: Oh, yes.
BEHAR: Yes. That she was not a nice girl. Maybe she was bitter because they didn`t allow her to marry the guy she was in love with. Remember?
MCDOWELL: That`s probably true. And it`s ridiculous, actually. I just hope that these kids make it. You know, I hope they don`t treat Kate like they treated Diana. You know, which was just pathetic.
BEHAR: Yes. That was sad. We had a show about the royal wedding here. And I do jokes about the royal family because --
MCDOWELL: Good.
BEHAR: -- I have no respect for them. I don`t care. I`m American.
MCDOWELL: They`re not going to make you a dame, are they?
BEHAR: No. Exactly.
MCDOWELL: You are a dame.
BEHAR: I`m a dame, but not a dame.
MCDOWELL: In New York -- no, you`re a dame.
BEHAR: And so I got all this criticism from "The Telegraph", the newspaper there, that how dare I call the queen looking like a bumblebee on alcohol, or whatever I said about her.
(LAUGHTER)
MCDOWELL: Well, actually --
BEHAR: An alcoholic bumblebee.
MCDOWELL: You said that?
BEHAR: Yes, I did. And they were mad at me for that.
MCDOWELL: Well, hey. You should just say get yourself a life and a sense of humor.
BEHAR: Exactly.
MCDOWELL: I mean, look, she`s up there. You know, she`s worth gazillions of dollars. It must be a very pleasant life. On one side. And of course the other side is it`s a goldfish bowl and it`s horrible. Who`d want that?
BEHAR: Well, Kate Middleton wanted it. She walked right in --
MCDOWELL: She wants it, apparently. She wants it. But she loves -- she loves Andrew -- I mean William.
BEHAR: How can you tell?
MCDOWELL: Well, because you can tell.
BEHAR: What`s his name? William.
MCDOWELL: I don`t know. William. Whatever. They`re all the same to me. Charles.
BEHAR: You`re such a devoted British subject.
MCDOWELL: Henry, whatever -- yes.
BEHAR: And now I find out that you are a new father. I think that`s so interesting.
MCDOWELL: Yes.
BEHAR: This is your first family?
MCDOWELL: No. No. I`ve got several families, Joy.
BEHAR: Tell me.
MCDOWELL: Why do you think I`m working? You know, I`m just out there, keeping the balls in the air.
BEHAR: You have three young ones now, right?
MCDOWELL: I have three young boys, yes. Two, Seamus, Finn 4, Beckett 7. And my older kids Lily and Charlie. So I`ve got five kids. That`s it. That`s it.
BEHAR: Five kids. How many wives have you had?
MCDOWELL: Just three.
BEHAR: Just three. Oh. All right. You enjoy the new family and the whole thing? It`s wonderful.
MCDOWELL: Yes. It`s an interesting household at the moment. Very quite noisy.
BEHAR: OK. You know what? We have one more segment with you.
MCDOWELL: You do? OK. Great.
BEHAR: Yes.
MCDOWELL: We`ll burn it up.
BEHAR: We`ll burn it up. OK. We`ll be back with a little more from Malcolm McDowell.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I am back with actor Malcolm McDowell. OK, now, let`s talk a little bit -- your father they say was an alcoholic who owned a pub. That seems to be --
MCDOWELL: It`s dangerous.
BEHAR: It`s very dangerous.
MCDOWELL: An oxymoron. What were you going to say? No, it`s not. It goes hand in hand with the territory. You know, it`s good night, everyone.
BEHAR: And then you started to indulge a bit.
MCDOWELL: Yes, I did.
BEHAR: Had a bad spell there.
MCDOWELL: Yes, I had a few cocaine years. But that was quite a while ago, and touch wood, 28 years.
BEHAR: You`re out of that now.
MCDOWELL: Out of that now.
BEHAR: A lot of people come on this show and say they`ve been there and they`ve stopped it.
MCDOWELL: I think in the `80s, it was hard not to --
BEHAR: And the `70s.
MCDOWELL: Well, and the `60 and the `50s.
BEHAR: The `50s was martinis.
MCDOWELL: Yes, but still, I think cocaine was around in the `20s, wasn`t it?
BEHAR: Oh, yes.
MCDOWELL: Big time.
BEHAR: OK. We have a Facebook question.
MCDOWELL: Yes, OK, what`s that?
BEHAR: Someone wrote in and said, if you could be a woman for a day who would you be and what would you do?
MCDOWELL: Margaret Thatcher without a shadow of a doubt.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: And why is that?
MCDOWELL: Because she had more balls than any politician I`d ever seen. I mean, I didn`t agree with what she was doing, but I saw her and it made me roll with laughter, on a live political broadcast show in England on Sunday morning. And this questioner was trying to get her to answer this question, and he asked her five times, she said "I`ve told you the answer." And he kept -- so he tried coming around this way, around this way. In the end, she just got her handbag and went whack, hit him like this and said, "I`ve answered the question, move on!" I mean, it`s priceless.
BEHAR: I love that.
MCDOWELL: I do too.
BEHAR: She`s ill now. Doesn`t she have Alzheimer`s or something?
MCDOWELL: Yes, I think so. But you know, she was -- there was a lot of -- I think she was magnificent in many ways.
BEHAR: Was she in love with Ronald Reagan? I always felt like she had a crush on Ronald Reagan.
MCDOWELL: She may well have done, but Ronnie was --
BEHAR: He was quite fabulous.
MCDOWELL: He was a movie star. Come on, who wouldn`t have a crush on him.
BEHAR: That`s true.
MCDOWELL: And he was funny. He had a great sense of humor.
BEHAR: OK, one more question. What is why are favorite movie and favorite actor of all time?
MCDOWELL: James Cagney, hands down. Great. The greatest.
BEHAR: Really? What did you like about him?
MCDOWELL: His energy. Just a force -- he was like a force of energy. When he came on the screen, whoever he was with, you never took your eyes off him.
BEHAR: And your favorite British actor?
MCDOWELL: Albert Finney.
BEHAR: Albert Finney is mine, too, besides you. Of course.
MCDOWELL: No, that`s all right, you can --
BEHAR: I love Albert Finney.
MCDOWELL: I love him too.
(CROSSTALK)
MCDOWELL: He made it possible for the likes of me, my generation, which is one under him, to actually leave the provinces and go to London and make it. He made it, he was one of the first to do that.
BEHAR: Oh, he is so hot. He used to be. Like you. In "Clockwork Orange," which is celebrating its 40th anniversary. This edition is out right now. Well, not right now. May 31st. So--
MCDOWELL: That`s right now.
BEHAR: On Blu-ray. And go get it, it`s wonderful.
And we love you so much for doing it.
MCDOWELL: Thanks, Joy.
BEHAR: You`re just adorable. Isn`t he the best?
(APPLAUSE)
Thank you all for watching. Good night, everybody.
END
