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Joy Behar Page
Rapping with Rosie; The Mighty Quinn
Aired December 08, 2011 - 22:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Coming up on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, Joy`s former "View" co-host, Rosie O`Donnell, tells Joy about her engagement and upcoming wedding.
Then controversial comedian, Colin Quinn, sheds a light on his recent Twitter dust-up.
Plus a look back at Joy`s interview with the adorable Jennifer Love Hewitt. That and more starting right now.
JOY BEHAR, HLN HOST: She has a new city, she has a new talk show, and he has a new fiancee. It`s been a very busy year. Joining me now, the always shy and retiring Rosie O`Donnell.
Hello my dear, how are you?
ROSIE O`DONNELL, TALK SHOW HOST: Good Behar, what`s up?
BEHAR: I heard you got engaged. Who proposed?
O`DONNELL: I actually proposed. But answered with "absolutely". So it was kind of a mutual thing.
BEHAR: But I mean you don`t know her that long? I`m just saying.
O`DONNELL: Yes, it`s about six months. I think that`s long enough when you`re --
BEHAR: No, it`s not.
O`DONNELL: -- when you`re almost 50 honey. You don`t think six years is long enough for you. How long were you engaged?
BEHAR: 29 that`s my limit.
O`DONNELL: All right. Well, I don`t know if I could make her wait that long but I`ll ask when I get home.
BEHAR: So I mean -- and I hear she`s just your type. I haven`t seen her. Everybody says she`s a blonde, just like Rosie likes -- oh there she is. Pretty girl, very cute. And lovely, and nice, and a real person, not in the business?
O`DONNELL: No, not in the business. She`s an IT head hunter. And she`s actually not a blonde, she`s a redhead. People reported that she was blonde which I thought was funny. She`s really great. You`ll love her. We`ll come have dinner with you and the married Steve and you`ll see.
BEHAR: Can you commute from Chicago any time you want? What`s the story there? You live there now and --
O`DONNELL: I`m sort of half and half. Kelly has the kids half the time. I have the kids half the time. The two oldest ones are away at school. So I go back and forth. But during the winter, it`s very cold here and a lot of snow, I`ll probably be staying for most of the winter here. But I`m actually loving it. I`m surprised.
BEHAR: I hear Parker is in military school. That must have been a shock. Do you?
O`DONNELL: You have no idea. It started when he was ten. He started saying that he wanted to go to military school, he wanted to be in the army. And I thought he`d grow out of it. But it was the opposite. He became more interested in history and watched the military channel. The way that I obsessed about showbiz and Broadway and could tell you any show and any song. He could do that with wars and what battle and what general and who was against who.
And so when he was a freshman in high school, I said to him if you get good grades we will go look at some military schools. He got really good grades, he got into one. He`s doing great. He`s like, you know, one of the top in the class, and he`s training the plebes who will come in next year. And he loves it.
BEHAR: So are you happy about it.
O`DONNELL: I`m happy that he found a passion, you know. Truthfully, like when he first started talking about it seriously, I watched all of the documentaries like "Body of War", the Phil Donohue one about the young man who signed up on September 12th and coming back a paraplegic, you know.
And he said, Mom, you know, it`s an honor. Only in America could a kid like me be adopted by somebody like you who was a poor kid and have the life we`ve had. This is what he believes and feels. And I love him and I support the men and women in the military but not always the mission. And so I`m thrilled that he`s found his passion in life.
BEHAR: Well, that`s good. Good for him.
You`re planning to get married I hear over Christmas, true?
O`DONNELL: I think we`re probably going to wait until the summer, but yes, we`ll probably wait for the summer and do it when the show`s on a break, before we start up next year.
BEHAR: Well, you`re not -- wait a minute, you`re not going to do it on the show like Tiny Tim did on Carson?
O`DONNELL: I don`t think so. Maybe I`ll do a Starr Jones and I`ll get a lot of free stuff. Maybe that.
BEHAR: But you know, Rose, I mean it would give you like a nice ratings bump, if you did it on the show. Why don`t you do it there?
O`DONNELL: You know, honey, when you get older, as you know, because we are older -- we`re old -- you try to value it, keep things that are real kind of separate and private, and I`m sure that once we do get married, I`ll convince her to walk on the show and say hi, and then walk to a seat. But that`s about it.
BEHAR: That`s it, huh? What about the kids? Are you going to have more kids with her? Are you going to like compete with Kate Gosselin or what? How many kinds do you have now, four?
O`DONNELL: I have four.
BEHAR: Does she have any?
O`DONNELL: No, she doesn`t have any children. She`s 40 years old, I think she`d like to. And I`m all for that, you know. Give me a baby, I`m happy. And the best part of being famous to me is that when I go out in public and somebody`s holding a newborn I could say, can I hold your child? And they allow me to.
So, you know, that`s really the best part of fame to me. So I would be thrilled to death if she had a baby.
BEHAR: Well, you know, I have a new grandson, my little Luka.
O`DONNELL: And how is that?
BEHAR: Oh, he`s brilliant. The child is like Einstein, E=MC2. That was his first word.
O`DONNELL: You know, wait until you see how competitive you get with the other grandmothers.
BEHAR: Really?
O`DONNELL: Yes, it`s worse than when you`re a parent. I remember when my Parker was a little baby and like you`d be at the swing set and the other mothers would say, does he have any words yet? I`m like words? He`s online, he has his own Web site.
BEHAR: There you go.
Now, you have this new TV show, which, congratulations, that`s nice.
O`DONNELL: Thank you, I enjoy it.
BEHAR: Yes. How does it feel? Do you like it, are you having a good time there?
O`DONNELL: I am, I`m actually having a great time, you know. It`s a little intimidating, Oprah Winfrey`s studio, Oprah Winfrey`s staff. It was a little overwhelming. I was so honestly touched that she wanted me to come here, and we all got together and it all seemed like a great idea. And I`m having a wonderful time, I have to tell you.
It`s very different to do it at 49 than it was to do it at 33 when I started back on my old show. But you know, a little older, a little wiser, a little more aches, a few menopause bumps, but I`m all right.
BEHAR: Yes. I mean, Oprah, I remember when she launched the channel, she promoted it that it`s going to be a very like -- not an edgy channel. It was going to not take shots at people and this and that. Not that you do that, but you`re kind of an edgy comic. Are you having trouble with like keeping your mouth shut over there or what?
O`DONNELL: No, not really. I mean today I just did a whole thing making fun of David Letterman who made fun of me last night with some very unfunny jokes about my engagement. And so I`m like, come on, let`s do it. And we kind of ripped him. That will be on tomorrow.
So, you know, I don`t think that we`re given any parameters of what to not do or do. But we have a little bit of a delay because we`re taping sometimes the day before. And you know, being a comic, the great thing about "The View", it`s the day of. So the day after Sandusky happens you can talk about it.
BEHAR: Right.
O`DONNELL: But we sometimes have a day or two delay, which makes it a little more difficult. So hopefully in the beginning of the year we`ll go live again. We started off live. And hopefully when we come back in January we`ll do that again.
Either way, they haven`t told me not to do anything. They had said, do whatever you want. And that`s the greatest kind of freedom.
BEHAR: That is. That`s great.
Let`s talk about some of the things that are going on this week. Alec Baldwin, your pal -- remember when he was on "The View" after that whole thing with his daughter on the phone. He came on "The View", you had to sort of talk him down a little bit? He came because of you, I think, you go back with him, right?
O`DONNELL: Yes, we go back. He gave me a call, I know that was a very upsetting thing for him. His privacy was invaded and everybody has a horrible parenting moment and to have the world listen to it I think was very tough for him emotionally.
So, you know, he was on a plane. He was playing "Words with Friends", they wanted him to get off the plane -- turn off his thing and he said no, and there`s it`s a brouhaha. The funniest thing is when you put on AOL and it says "Alec Baldwin talks about the incident". And it`s just him walking through the airport and a TMZ guy, and he`s not even saying anything.
BEHAR: I saw that. Yes. Well, they`re also saying that he was angry in the bathroom. He was banging on the door. I don`t know what`s true and what`s not true.
O`DONNELL: I don`t know. But listen, I think he`s a great guy. I think he`s an immense talent. I think he`s one of the funniest men around. He`s one of the nicest guys that I met in showbiz.
And I believe in him. I really like the guy, you know. Nobody`s perfect, and if you`re in the entertainment industry as long as he is, with that kind of fame and notoriety, everything single thing you do is put under public scrutiny, it`s not an easy thing to do, you know.
BEHAR: Right. Have you ever gotten kicked off a plane?
O`DONNELL: No, I have not gotten kicked off a plane. But there`s always next week, Joy.
BEHAR: How about a cruise ship?
O`DONNELL: Never gotten kicked off a cruise ship either. Who got kicked off that? Did anybody get kicked off that?
BEHAR: Well, yes. Somebody, a comedian years ago got thrown off -- they airlifted him off because he made a joke about Klinghoffer. They just came with a helicopter and took him right off the boat. Serious -- I forget his name.
O`DONNELL: I can understand that, but you know, you shouldn`t do a Klinghoffer joke on a cruise. I don`t think you should do one anywhere especially, you know on (INAUDIBLE).
BEHAR: It wasn`t on (INAUDIBLE). The thing was, it was one of those thing where`s he had just gotten -- the terrorist attacked the guy, I think, and he was killed and it was too soon. You know the old "too soon".
O`DONNELL: Yes. It was too soon. And I think that`s the true thing for comics. But everybody has a line, that`s a different place.
I saw Colin Quinn, you were talking about it the other night, he got very angry about the Sandusky thing on SNL, remember?
BEHAR: Now, but he was making that up I now know, Rosie.
O`DONNELL: He was?
BEHAR: He was making it up. You know, Colin, he`s as politically incorrect as anybody.
O`DONNELL: That`s so funny, because when I read the tweet, that`s what I thought. I`m like this is so not Colin.
BEHAR: Exactly.
O`DONNELL: Right. And then Seth Myers wrote back, hey, shut up, I wrote that sketch.
I think Twitter is the worst thing to happen in celebrity feud-dom.
BEHAR: I know. Well, you know, Colin is coming on after you today.
O`DONNELL: Oh, good, I love Colin. I think he`s a great guy.
BEHAR: He`s a great, great guy and he`s hilarious guy. And I`m going to confront him with this sham which I fell for. I can`t talk about it anymore.
O`DONNELL: Yes.
BEHAR: Anyway, let`s talk about these politics now. Do we have time? Or shall we do it in the next panel?
O`DONNELL: Sure, whatever you want. Tell me.
BEHAR: Ok. We`re going to do it in the next segment.
O`DONNELL: Ok. I`ll be right here.
BEHAR: We`ll take a break.
O`DONNELL: Ok.
BEHAR: More with Rosie O`Donnell in just a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with Rosie O`Donnell.
Now, Rosie, Newt Gingrich, this is interesting, I was watching Rachel Maddow last night.
ROSIE O`DONNELL, ACTRESS: Oh I love her.
BEHAR: Yes I love her too. She`s a great, great girl. But Newt Gingrich`s sister was on, she calls herself Gingrich. She said that she would not vote for Newt. Watch -- let`s watch this for a second.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CANDACE GINGRICH-JONES, NEWT GINGRICH`S HALF SISTER: He`s definitely on the wrong side of history when it comes to those issues. And it`s those positions that you know the Human Rights Campaign and myself are going to work really, really hard to make sure that President Obama is re-elected next year no matter who the Republican candidate is.
RACHEL MADDOW, HOST, "RACHEL MADDOW SHOW": So if your brother wins the Republican nomination you will not be supporting his candidacy?
GINGRICH-JONES: No. And I don`t think he has any misconception that I might be.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: You know something might be -- it`s terribly wrong when your sister will not support you.
O`DONNELL: Can you imagine that house at Thanksgiving?
BEHAR: No, no, no. I think the feathers will be flying if they were together there.
O`DONNELL: Oh my gosh it`s like pass the stuffing you homophobic (EXPLETIVE DELETED) that`s probably what it would be like.
BEHAR: Exactly. Exactly and then what a lovely night. Have you -- have you watched them on the debates? I mean, it`s like -- it`s the worst group except for a couple I don`t mind Huntsman. Do you mind Huntsman?
O`DONNELL: You know listening and watching the debates, it`s so scary and sad. Like to me I can`t even believe -- the only thing that I thought happened recently to make the Republican debates even worse than they possibly could have been was the addition of the new moderator.
BEHAR: Oh shall we not say his name in your company?
O`DONNELL: He`s like Lord Voldemort. Let`s just ignore that he exists. But I don`t know it just seems so comical --
BEHAR: Don`t start with him, don`t start with him. He`s very -- you`re not on Nancy.
O`DONNELL: I`m not -- I`m not afraid of him Joy. Don`t you remember, I`m not afraid. Look.
BEHAR: Rosie, you`re doing it again.
BEHAR: Only for you. Right only for you Behar.
BEHAR: Oh my God.
O`DONNELL: No he is -- to me, he`s the perfect person to moderate the Republican debate, because what he is about who he is, is pretty much representative in all of those candidates as well. It`s become like the party of comedy of jokes of -- I don`t even -- I don`t even believe it`s real -- it`s real any more, you know.
BEHAR: Yes, but I mean, what about Newt`s plan to drop the child labor laws and put kids to work as janitors?
O`DONNELL: Yes.
BEHAR: I mean, where does he come up with this crap?
O`DONNELL: I don`t know. They tried that in Australia many years ago with aboriginal children. It didn`t turn out too well. Perhaps he should read the history book. I don`t know. That guy is a joke. The only thing funnier possibly is Herman Cain, which I just thought it doesn`t really get any better than that, honestly.
BEHAR: Yes.
O`DONNELL: From the pizza man to the sexual harasser to the "I never did anything", to the "I`m quitting and I`m quoting Pokemon". How the hell did that happen?
BEHAR: I know you know as a comedian I`m going to really miss him though.
O`DONNELL: I`m going to miss him too. Can you imagine a presidential candidate quoting "Pokemon". Somebody out there like imagine Bill Clinton you know saying, "Would you, could you, in the chair? Would you, could you, anywhere?" It`s just -- it was so absurd, it was the, Depends undergarment moment for me.
BEHAR: What about -- what about Rick Perry? He -- he seems to be in and out, like this next debate that you brought up whose name, we won`t mention. He`s -- the only people who are showing up are -- who are they -- Santorum and Gingrich. The others are not even going to go.
O`DONNELL: Yes well, can I say, those are the three amigos. "Wherever they go, whatever they do they`re going go through it together."
BEHAR: Yes, ok.
O`DONNELL: I -- I think they should have a new sitcom, the three of them.
BEHAR: And Rick -- Rick Perry is running an anti-gay ad in Iowa, let`s watch this, it`s fun to watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RICK PERRY (R), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I`m not ashamed to admit that I`m a Christian, but you don`t need to be in a pew every Sunday to know that there`s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military, but our kids can`t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. As president, I`ll end Obama`s war on religion and I`ll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: It`s just -- its mind stultifying.
O`DONNELL: Well you know --
BEHAR: And you know what I thought Christians were supposed to love everybody.
O`DONNELL: Well that`s -- that`s what Jesus did, but that`s not what this Christian is doing, Rick Perry. And you know I`d like him to take a look at the statistics about children who kill themselves because they`re gay and they`re bullied. The bullying starts right there with presidential candidates.
BEHAR: Right.
O`DONNELL: It`s wrong, it`s sinful and it`s destroying the nation. It really is. Gay people are part of the fabric of America, they have been in every country and every animal species and kingdom. People have to wake up and get with the program. This is not the 1950s.
So Rick Perry, shame on you.
BEHAR: Shame on you.
O`DONNELL: Shame on him. Yes.
BEHAR: Shame on him, shame on Michele Bachmann and that ludicrous notion of praying the gay away. And --
(CROSSTALK)
O`DONNELL: Well, you know Michele Bachmann needs to pray the gay away every day, starting with her husband.
BEHAR: I love having you on, you`re going to make a lot of buzz for my show. It`s too bad we`re not going to be on --
(CROSSTALK)
O`DONNELL: Well, what I heard is that when you were going off the air, I`m like damn it, get me on Behar so I can stir up some controversy.
BEHAR: I know well, yes next -- next week is my last day of sitting actually sitting here. Yes.
O`DONNELL: But can I say, that you`ve done a great job Behar.
BEHAR: Thank you.
O`DONNELL: I watch you ever night and I think you`re great. And you had this comedian on last night or the night before, who was so handsome and he`s on the liberal tour with Stephanie Miller. I had never heard of him.
BEHAR: John Fugelsang, he`s just brilliant. He`s very funny.
O`DONNELL: He is brilliant and he`s so handsome, I love that guy.
BEHAR: I know he`ll turn you straight, keep carrying on with that. We`ll get you back on our team.
O`DONNELL: Yes, you never know, honey, you never know now that I`m looking all fly I could go the other side.
BEHAR: Don`t do the hair thing again. Please I beg you.
O`DONNELL: Only one lesbian haircut per lifetime, that`s how it is. Mine`s done.
BEHAR: Yes that was -- that was a really like scary one there to watch.
O`DONNELL: Listen, listen I have Britney Spears did it, although she went the whole head, I went half and I stopped.
BEHAR: Do you think we`ll ever have a gay president? Maybe Rupaul, but then he would be the First Lady and the gay president?
O`DONNELL: Yes, I don`t know if we`ll have a gay president, but I think it`s amazing that we`re having gay people in the forefront. We had Rupaul on a few days ago, because we had a young child who`s mother was on the audience a few months ago. The kid is bullied every day.
BEHAR: Yes.
O`DONNELL: Because he like to do the costumes and Rupaul came out to talk to the kid. And Ru and I are about 50 years old, and the concept that we when we were that age would think that at 50 we`d be able to walk down the street holding the hand of the person we love of the same gender and not feel afraid, not feel embarrassed or ashamed was unfathomable.
So we`ve come a long way in the 40 years since I was a 10-year-old kid. But we still have a ways to go.
BEHAR: Yes.
O`DONNELL: And you know gay is ok, and that message needs to be repeated over and over and over again to everyone including presidential candidates.
BEHAR: Ok Rosie.
O`DONNELL: All right Joy.
BEHAR: Always -- always great to see you. Good luck with your show. "The Rosie Show", Monday through Friday at 7:00 p.m. on OWN.
O`DONNELL: Peace out Behar, take a little time to enjoy the view.
BEHAR: She said it for the last time. We`ll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: In his hilarious funny one-man show "Long Story Short", now out on DVD my pal comedian, Colin Quinn, says a lot of provocative things, that`s his thing. This past week, he got into a whole brouhaha on Twitter, whatever. So he`s here to talk about that and other things. Please welcome the always irritated, Colin Quinn.
COLIN QUINN, COMEDIAN: Hello, Joy.
BEHAR: Hello.
QUINN: Hello, Joy.
BEHAR: Before we get to the brouhaha, let`s talk about Alec Baldwin for a second.
QUINN: He got some -- he got (INAUDIBLE) in that flight didn`t he?
BEHAR: Yes, I mean what is it with him? Is it hormones or what? He`s always flying off the handle.
QUINN: Yes, I think he`s an Irish -- maybe when he travels, that`s what it is. He doesn`t like to travel to LA. LA brings out the worst in New York people.
BEHAR: No. The last time wasn`t on a plane. The last time was on the phone. And there was another thing and they --
QUINN: But he was calling L.A.
BEHAR: True, and when he was in Starbucks.
QUINN: Starbucks started on the West Coast, I think.
BEHAR: No, it did not.
QUINN: Yes, in Washington, isn`t it from Washington State?
BEHAR: Seattle.
QUINN: Seattle.
BEHAR: Close enough.
QUINN: It`s from Seattle.
BEHAR: So what do you think about it?
QUINN: I think it`s an outrage.
BEHAR: And you don`t even care?
QUINN: No.
BEHAR: So it`s like this apocryphal -- is it like a real thing, the Irish temper or not?`
QUINN: No, I was just saying that to say something.
BEHAR: Well, you`re Irish so I figured I`d ask you. You`re like an expert on that, no?
QUINN: Irish don`t have a temper. What about the Italians, your people, they`re out of their minds.
BEHAR: They may also carry a weapon, so you have to watch it.
QUINN: Exactly.
BEHAR: I don`t think the Italians have a big temper. The Irish have a bigger temper.
QUINN: We hold it in for long time.
BEHAR: She`s agreeing, my floor manager.
QUINN: We hold it in for a long time that`s why.
BEHAR: Are you Irish Trisha?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I`m actually half Irish and half Italian. So I know -- (INAUDIBLE)
QUINN: Oh, my God. See that?
BEHAR: Fascinating. About the Irish and the Italians, I don`t know.
QUINN: I know.
BEHAR: Ok. Let`s talk about this Twitter episode that you were into. Are you ashamed of this SNL sketch? Let`s watch the sketch first.
QUINN: Ok.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It was imperative to me that we make sure that nothing like that was going on right here at our programming central. I don`t think I`m alone in saying, the first person who popped into my head as a potential sexual predator was Coach Burt.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Now, let`s be honest, Coach Burt has all the tell tale signs of a sexual predator. I mean, he`s anti-social, lives with his mom, he`s never had a girlfriend.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
QUINN: First of all those aren`t signs of sexual predator, he should have done more research. Some sexual predators have normal relations, you know.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Are you saying you`re ashamed of it?
QUINN: I`m ashamed.
BEHAR: You`re really pulling our leg aren`t you, with this tweet?
QUINN: No, I`m ashamed of it.
BEHAR: Come on. Look at me. Look at me. You know you`re lying about this Colin.
QUINN: Joy, when I was on "Saturday Night Live" we never did these topical sketches. It was about being funny, no political material. They`ve really done a lot of political. The show was never about that.
BEHAR: That`s not true. You`re just pulling everybody`s leg in the Twitter world, saying you`re going to throw it in the garbage and all that. That is such a load of BS.
QUINN: Well, I like the fact that you fell for it on "The View". And you`re like "The Daily News" --
BEHAR: You know what --
QUINN: I didn`t see it.
BEHAR: All right.
QUINN: I understand some 15-year-old kid in Missouri doesn`t get New York irony.
BEHAR: You know what, I have to take a break. I`m not done with this topic. We`ll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with Colin Quinn. OK, so we`re talking about this Twitter thing -- Twitter war. You got me so crazy, because you`re right, I did fall for it when I first saw it. And then I thought about it.
QUINN: How long have you known me?
BEHAR: I`ve known him for so many years, I should know better. All of a sudden he`s judging an SNL script?
QUINN: That`s right, SNL is out of line. I`m ashamed to have ever been part of it.
BEHAR: It`s like when Gilbert Gottfried -- I thought to myself for a minute, I thought he doesn`t want to get in trouble like Gilbert Gottfried did with that Japan thing.
QUINN: Yes. I did mine as a big publicity stunt.
BEHAR: You did, didn`t you?
QUINN: It`s sweeping the nation.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Your show, "Long Story Short" is on DVD. So it was good to bring attention to yourself.
QUINN: Yes.
BEHAR: That was smart, Colin.
QUINN: It was all planned.
BEHAR: Let me ask you something as a comedian, is there a line for you? Like, let`s say, the Holocaust, where do you--
QUINN: Exactly. You know, that`s funny, I was joking when I said it, but then a lot of people tweet back, "hey you`re right, child rape is not funny." And then when you say child rape, they`re like, you`re right, there is lines, everybody has their own lines, you know what I mean? Everybody has their little things that they figure just shouldn`t be said.
BEHAR: Except that sketch as we know, you were kidding on Twitter, was really about Penn State, wasn`t it? And it really was about, you might misdiagnose somebody. Like we were talking before about Steve Buscemi, who could be misinterpreted as a molester. Isn`t that what that was about?
QUINN: Sort of, yes, but there were a couple things thrown in, like the guy from NAMBLA.
BEHAR: We did not need that joke.
QUINN: So I`m just saying, everybody had their own things. I`m just saying we all -- none of us obviously as comedians we hate censorship, but I mean, there`s definitely things that offend -- anybody says anything to anybody somebody got affected by that personally, it`s going to offend someone. You can`t act like there`s no things that bother people.
BEHAR: Well, they went too long. When you start going too long with a sketch, you get into deep waters and you get in trouble.
QUINN: That`s the worst part. When I was on the show, no political stuff, no topical stuff. And every sketch was short and to the point.
BEHAR: You`re a liar. You`re such a liar.
QUINN: I`m just telling you how I remember it.
BEHAR: Let`s talk about some politics.
QUINN: Yes.
BEHAR: What do you make of the Republican group?
QUINN: I think Newt Gingrich really is not going to be the candidate. Because, and I`ll tell you why, this sounds like a superficial thing, but it`s the truth. He doesn`t look good in a suit. You need a guy -- like it or not, you have to be over 6 feet to be the president the last 50 years or whatever. And Newt Gingrich, and this is not an insult, he looks like Leprechaun. You ever see that movie Leprechaun? You know the little horror monster--
(CROSSTALK)
QUINN: He looks like him. He`s got the same facial features.
BEHAR: I always thought he looked like Chucky the doll that stabs everything.
QUINN: Oh my God, you`re right. He looks like Chucky.
BEHAR: Yeah, he looks like Chucky.
QUINN: So nobody -- he`s in a suit, like a guy like Mitt Romney, he looks good in a suit. You need to be that alpha male to run for president.
BEHAR: It looks like the Republican base, the Tea Party like Newt Gingrich better than Romney. Maybe they identify with the bad suits.
QUINN: Well, I mean -- there`s something to the regular guy look from Rodney Dangerfield`s old movie. But the whole Herman Cain thing, we need to talk about that as a male and a female. The Herman Cain thing, the fact that people are shocked and outraged that this guy`s at a convention of the restaurant associates, he`s the president and he created sexually unwanted advances, that`s what conventions are for, you know what I`m saying? You can blame him for all his politics, you can`t blame him for being a pervert at the convention. He`s up there with the karaoke machine. You have to remember something, it was the mid `90s. The guy can sing. Karaoke is a big joke now, karaoke machine tacky, in the mid `90s, it was like the space program.
BEHAR: That`s right, it was NASA.
QUINN: He`s up there busting like "Caribbean Queen" or something like that, you know? It was, hey, Herman, sound goods, he goes, you know, he`s the one guy that should get laid, the whole president of the whole convention.
BEHAR: Well, he didn`t actually get laid.
QUINN: That`s what he said. But come on.
BEHAR: He allegedly took the woman`s head and put it in his lap.
OK, how drunk do you have to be for that one?
QUINN: Not that drunk. Unfortunately, Joy, you don`t have to be that drunk. Sadly.
BEHAR: OK. What about -- you said Mitt Romney, what about Michele Bachmann?
QUINN: I think she`s out of the race, isn`t she?
BEHAR: Out of the race or out of her mind? I`m not sure. She`s kind of out of it, but she keeps coming back, trudging back -- like --
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: She`s very pretty, but she`s like a robot. Barack Obama, Barack Obama, Barack Obama. That`s how she talks.
QUINN: Big eyes.
BEHAR: Barack Obama, Barack Obama.
(CROSSTALK)
QUINN: It`s also that Minnesota accent. It makes her seem robotic too.
BEHAR: Yes, that`s true, like "Fargo."
QUINN: Yes.
BEHAR: What`s happening is that Donald Trump, the Donald is having a --
QUINN: Joy --
BEHAR: He`s hosting the debate.
QUINN: I know.
BEHAR: Only Rick Santorum --
QUINN: Why do you have to say it like I don`t follow the news? I know what`s going on.
BEHAR: I`m trying to tell the audience where we`re going, I`m setting this up for you. Rick Santorum and--
QUINN: (inaudible) I`ve never heard about it in my life. Now I have to come up with some brilliant bit, she`s set him up for a bit and he didn`t come through.
BEHAR: I`m not setting up for a bit. I just want to hear your opinion.
QUINN: OK.
BEHAR: Gingrich and Santorum are the only two so far who have said yes to Donald. Is that a debate or a coffee meeting?
QUINN: Yeah.
BEHAR: Coffee meeting? What`s a coffee meeting?
QUINN: I know what you`re thinking of.
BEHAR: You know what I mean?
QUINN: Yes, the beer summit.
BEHAR: Yes, what do you think of that? No one`s going to be there exempt those two.
QUINN: Yes, they look pretty silly now. They`re going to be there and you know, it`s going to be the three of them sitting around yapping, badmouthing the other people.
BEHAR: But they won`t be there, so it`s behind their back.
QUINN: That`s the way to do it. They can`t defend themselves. But like I said, it doesn`t matter, because Romney, Obama, these guys -- they - - a suit, look at Obama. I mean, Obama looks great in a suit, and he knows it, which is a little annoying. Let`s be honest. You can tell he knows it. It`s a little, you know what I mean? And Romney, with his suits and--
BEHAR: And his hair. He`s put together.
QUINN: And Romney -- by the way, the reason what`s his face -- Rick Perry is out, is because Romney grabbed his shoulder, which as any guy knows -- it`s an alpha male move. He grabbed his shoulder, and just like totally alpha maled him, and Rick Perry was like frightened. That`s a bully move. It goes back to my theory, you have to be a bit of a bully to be -- like Mitt Romney is a Mormon and we all love the Mormons. He`s a bully, like to be -- a missionary, you have to be a bully.
BEHAR: Is that where you were going with that?
QUINN: Yes.
BEHAR: That`s a long way to tiperarie (ph).
QUINN: That`s anti-Irish.
BEHAR: What was the point?
QUINN: My point is this, to be a missionary, you have to be kind of a bully.
BEHAR: Who`s the missionary? Oh, the Mormons.
QUINN: Mormons are missionaries.
BEHAR: Mormons. Well, not all of them. I mean, Romney--
QUINN: Of course, what do you mean not all of them? You have to spend like a year in Africa. That play was on.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: So all you know about Mormons, you learned from "The Book of Mormon?"
QUINN: Actually, I went and played basketball at the Mormon Center right over here in Lincoln Center. They have a Mormon Center, people don`t know about it.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: I know, the Church of Latter Day Saints. Right here in Lincoln Center. That`s right. They own a lot of real estate in Manhattan. Just like the Catholic Church, yes, they do. But anyway, what I was going to say is it`s interesting, someone pointed out that Rick Perry`s hat, he has the same look that the guy from "Brokeback Mountain" had.
QUINN: Really?
BEHAR: Ironic.
QUINN: I wouldn`t know. I didn`t DVR it. I saw it once, in a theater, with a friend, 23rd and 8th. Chelsea Clear View (ph). Let`s leave it at that.
BEHAR: Was that where a certain thing happened that I heard about in your act that I didn`t think was true either, and apparently was?
QUINN: Geez, I don`t know if this is really the time to bring it up.
BEHAR: It`s something we were alluding to with Herman Cain?
QUINN: Holy Christ, yes, of course, but I`m saying I don`t think this is the time to bring up. That`s the kind of thing you bring up in the beginning, here`s what we`re going to talk about. You don`t have a whole segment on something else, and then go, hey, what about that other thing.
BEHAR: I just thought of it. But I mean, I bring it up, because we`re going off the air next week.
QUINN: My mother watches this show.
BEHAR: Your mother does?
QUINN: Every night.
BEHAR: Oh, she`s that though. I`m happy that -- you know, I`m sorry. It`s not my fault exactly, but we`re going off next week. I will be gone physically from here, but the show will have reruns until the end of the year.
QUINN: When you said that, it was veyr -- I will physically be gone, you sounded like Jesus.
BEHAR: I`m not that grandiose, but I`ll take it. Mary Magdalene maybe. So you know a lot about canceled shows?
QUINN: Yes, I do.
BEHAR: You`ve been canceled.
QUINN: In fact, when I walked in here, your staff accused me of my curse adding to your show`s cancellation.
BEHAR: You were canceled from let`s see, I have it here someplace, "Tough Crowd." Which was a terrific show.
QUINN: Thanks.
BEHAR: What else, tell me, come on?
QUINN: That was the last time they let me on. That`s how terrific that was. It was seven years ago.
BEHAR: They don`t know what`s good over there, OK? But I mean so --
(CROSSTALK)
QUINN: Well, my advice -- "Tough Crowd," what I did was, one of my greatest regrets in life, which is sad, but I actually didn`t take the pool table out of "Tough Crowd." I could have had that at my house. My apartment`s too small for it, but I still should have taken it. You know?
What I did was, I had all these clothes, "Tough Crowd" they were like casual like this, but all clothes that fit me. I was hey, what are you going to do with the clothes? They go, you can`t take them. I go, we`re having like a garage sale and selling them. Like just -- all right, can I go to the sale? Can I buy them? Then they`re like, OK, you can take some. I took that to mean, I can take them all.
I`m walking down 9th Avenue with a rack of clothes with two of the P.A.`s with me, I`m like, come on, boys, let`s do it. We`re walking with racks of clothes.
So my suggestion to you is to leave the show gracefully, you take a couple computers. And then next week, you say we`re going to have a special, you know, animal rights PETA show, and then you get a bunch of rats on the last show, you tell them it`s for animal rights, and you release all the rats and you run out of the studio.
BEHAR: That is so evil. Thank you, sweetie.
QUINN: Thank you.
BEHAR: I love you, Colin.
QUINN: I love you too, Joy.
BEHAR: All right. His one man show, "Long Story Short," is out now on DVD. Pick it up, it`s great, we`ll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: She`s the star of the CBS series "The Ghost Whisper" but Jennifer Love Hewitt is known by the media whispers about who she is dating. Her new book is called "The Day I Shot Cupid" Hello my name is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I am a loveaholic." Welcome to the show, Jennifer.
JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT: Thank you.
BEHAR: Why do you say you`re a loveaholic?
HEWITT: Well really I was trying to think of what would sort of make people realize that it`s kind of me at my sort of most vulnerable writing in the book. And talking about the things that I talked in the book. And I figured if I was standing up, saying I`m a loveaholic that it would do that. But now everyone just thinks I`m like this weird love obsessed person who just walks around only thinking about love all day. But that`s why I did that.
BEHAR: That`s why. I see. The media called you a serial dater. You`re young, pretty, single. Why can`t you? What`s wrong with it -- what`s wrong with being a serial dater?
HEWITT: I don`t even really know what serial dater means per say. I thought they thought I killed men after I went out and took them for coca pebbles. I don`t really know why it is serial dater but yes I don`t think I`m doing anything different than any other girl in their early 30`s.
BEHAR: You`re just dating.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: But you know, so in your book you advice for girls on dates, I guess.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: Things you shouldn`t say on a date. Such as I love the way you chew. Have you had a date say it to you?
HEWITT: I had a guy say that to me. He was looking at me and he didn`t say anything for a really long time. And I was just sort of eating and it just popped out and he was like I love the way you chew.
BEHAR: Was he a dentist?
HEWITT: No. If he had been it would have been a little bit more comforting? But no, no. Just weird.
BEHAR: All right, you also say that you should say no to text relationships.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: That seems to be the new form of communication.
HEWITT: It`s ruined everything.
BEHAR: Has it?
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: Well, tell me why.
HEWITT: Well because first of all you can create your own avatar personality if you went on a text message. And it can be not necessarily -- like I -- if I was having a text relationship or text conversation with somebody, I might get nervous about what I was going to write, so I`d ask a friend and their friend would go -- no, no she should write this. And then you`re not getting a real representation of somebody.
BEHAR: Oh I see.
HEWITT: And also I kind of feel like guys if they`re texting you could be out on a date with somebody else but texting you and you`re sitting at home thinking you`re his one and only. And it is just bad. I just --
BEHAR: What about sexting? What is that?
HEWITT: Sexting is having sex on the text.
BEHAR: Tiger Woods got in trouble for that.
HEWITT: Yes he did a lot of sexting.
BEHAR: Yes.
HEWITT: It`s not good.
BEHAR: Is it sort of like the updated version of phone sex?
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: That`s really what it is, right?
HEWITT: Pretty much. Pretty much. But I don`t know why that`s hot to send -- to get like a message.
BEHAR: Well, it`s as hot as phone sex, which is pretty hot.
HEWITT: I know but a voice is better than hey--
BEHAR: Not necessarily.
(LAUGHTER)
HEWITT: OK.
BEHAR: Not if you`re a reader.
HEWITT: All right.
BEHAR: Now, you recently --
HEWITT: You do sexting, don`t you?
BEHAR: No, I don`t, I don`t. I`m just kidding you.
HEWITT: Okay.
BEHAR: But you recently broke up with Jamie Kennedy. That was recent right?
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: Are you upset?
HEWITT: I`ve had upset moments, sure.
BEHAR: You have, well you are human.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: Now he was your co-star on "The Ghost Whisper".
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: And he wrote a chapter in your book about liking women with big butts. I mean what`s not to like in a man who likes a big ass? I love that.
HEWITT: I know it was very impressive. That`s why I put it in the book. I thought it was a great chapter for women to know, because I think we sometimes feel like it`s the opposite. But yes, it was good.
BEHAR: Yes, he likes that.
HEWITT: He does.
BEHAR: Good for him.
HEWITT: Likes the big butt.
BEHAR: Now another boyfriend that you had -- we like to talk about boyfriends.
HEWITT: Let`s talk about them all, why not.
BEHAR: We`ll talk about all of them, John Mayer, who is a very, very prominent you know singer right now. He sticks his foot in his mouth more than George Bush did. He did an interview in playboy and he said that Jessica Simpson was like sexual napalm. Now were you surprised that he talked out of school like that about a girl he slept with?
HEWITT: I don`t know, I feel like some guys do that. I`m not really sure why he made that choice. But you know, look, he`s a decent guy, and I just think that maybe he made a misstep. Sometimes people get comfortable with their interviewers and they think you know, well, it`s fine, and they just sort of say things out of turn. I`m really glad that I was left out of the interview.
BEHAR: But you know you say it might have been -- he`s a serial misstepper. He has said other things that are dumb also.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: He`s just -- I think he wants to be hip.
HEWITT: He`s a talker.
BEHAR: He`s a talker?
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: You liked him?
HEWITT: Yes, he was nice.
BEHAR: What happened there?
HEWITT: Well, you know --
BEHAR: All right, let`s go --
HEWITT: Let`s talk about something else.
BEHAR: All right let`s talk about the infamous bikini photos.
HEWITT: Oh god, the subject matters just keep getting better.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: All right well, we`ll get to the -
HEWITT: Awesome. All right -- okay --
BEHAR: We`ll start with the hard stuff and get to the easy. I mean I`m fascinated by the fact that the paparazzi follow you girls around like crazy.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: Take pictures of you in bathing suits. I would not be caught dead on the beach -- I hate the beach anyway, but now I really won`t go near the beach.
HEWITT: I haven`t been back to the beach since.
BEHAR: I mean you haven`t.
HEWITT: No.
BEHAR: You are scared to go to the beach.
HEWITT: I`m in no rush.
BEHAR: Yes, you know what it`s to prevent skin cancer. The paparazzi is doing you a service.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: I mean but they had pictures of you, and I thought you looked so pretty.
HEWITT: Thank you.
BEHAR: And they were making fun of you because you`re not -- it was a close-up shot of your behind for god`s sakes. Leave it alone.
HEWITT: Yes, yes, I never thought I would see it that close. I really didn`t. It was nice. It was cute.
BEHAR: I can see why men like you. You have an adorable laugh. How rough is that to have your photos all over magazines like that? That must be terrible.
HEWITT: It was awful. It was pretty awful, yes. It really -- it was awful. It made me feel pretty low. But, you know, the thing that was amazing about it because I try to think of something positive is al these really cool people who I -- some who I had met but mostly who I had never met these amazing actresses said so many nice things in defense of me and really stood up for me. Wow what a weird way to make strange friendships, but thank you. That was inspiring. And I was given a chance to say why are we doing this? And I have a lot of young girl fans that look up to me.
BEHAR: Right.
HEWITT: What was upsetting to me about is that they were saying that I`m the epitome of what is fat and ugly and wrong in the world. I was like what are we doing? What are we doing, so --
BEHAR: What would motivate someone to say something like that?
HEWITT: I have no idea.
BEHAR: Do they have astigmatism? I mean it`s ridiculous.
HEWITT: I have no idea. And yes, I don`t know. Then later he I was like I wonder what they look like in a bathing suit. I wonder if we could put them in a bathing suit and see how they like it.
BEHAR: Right there`s so much pressure in Hollywood for girls to be very skinny now and be perfect.
HEWITT: It`s bad, it`s bad. It really is.
BEHAR: I feel for you.
HEWITT: And you know you have to think about it all the time.
BEHAR: Yes well you look gorgeous.
HEWITT: Thank you.
BEHAR: Anyway, stay right there. We`ll have easier questions in the next segment.
HEWITT: Thank god, okay.
BEHAR: More with the lovely Jennifer Love Hewitt when we come back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with the actress and now author, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Jennifer I like this in your book. You say the word "bitch" is a good word and that we should be carrying the inner bitch around with us?
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: What do you mean by that?
HEWITT: I feel like carrying a little bitch in your back pocket gives you some power.
(LAUGTHER)
HEWITT: I like it, I feel like it is good. It took me a long time to learn that because I was always offended by that word and I was always like oh gosh, I don`t want to be that kind of person. And then I started meeting all these really cool very strong women and I realized that there was just a tiny little piece of them that had a gumption and it was a little bit of bitch just kind of tucked away and it could get them out of any powerful conversation with a strong person or you know let a man know they wouldn`t be treated in a certain way.
BEHAR: That`s right.
HEWITT: Or whatever it was and so I wrote about it in the book to sort of say I think there`s a little bit of that was okay.
BEHAR: It`s all about being assertive.
HEWITT: Yes, absolutely.
BEHAR: And have good, high self esteem.
HEWITT: Absolutely.
BEHAR: Is basically talking -- and the word, bitch, is our word, we own that word.
HEWITT: Yes and we should own it.
BEHAR: Okay, that`s right.
HEWITT: And we should make it a positive thing not a bad thing.
BEHAR: What about this other thing, bejazzling. What is bejazzling exactly?
HEWITT: You said it was going to get easier.
BEHAR: Well it`s in there. I didn`t know what it was. Is it like the bejazzler?
HEWITT: John Mayer --
BEHAR: Did John Mayer like you to bejazzle?
HEWITT: Oh boy I`m sweating. It`s hot in here.
BEHAR: Do we have a fan, oh, yes, baby.
HEWITT: So bejazzling is -- where you talk Swarovski crystals and decorate your little lady --
BEHAR: Oh your lady? Oh, you bejazzle your little lady.
HEWITT: Your lady, your essence.
BEHAR: And don`t the sequence get itchy?
HEWITT: No. No.
BEHAR: All right, here`s some twitter questions for you.
HEWITT: Thank god for twitter questions.
BEHAR: Jennifer played Audrey Hepburn, which you were fabulous and you look like her.
HEWITT: Thank you, thank you.
BEHAR: And that`s what everybody should remember.
HEWITT: Thank you.
BEHAR: What`s your favorite Audrey Hepburn movie? They want to know.
HEWITT: I love "Sabrina."
BEHAR: "Sabrina". Oh that`s a great one.
HEWITT: I like that one. Yes and she fell in love with William Holden while they were filming that movie, which I just loved.
BEHAR: Okay do you prefer dating non-showbiz people?
HEWITT: I haven`t tried that.
BEHAR: No Joe the plumber or nothing?
HEWITT: No, never a plumber, no. You know what, I did go on a date once with a guy who made chicken flautas at a Mexican restaurant.
BEHAR: Stop it.
HEWITT: And he was very nice.
BEHAR: Chicken flautas.
HEWITT: Yes, they were good.
BEHAR: Did you bejazz them?
HEWITT: No, I didn`t.
BEHAR: Any new movies coming out?
HEWITT: Not that anybody`s going to see now! No, I`m doing a romantic comedy over the hiatus.
BEHAR: You are? Is there any other actress you`d like to play? You did Audrey Hepburn. Is there anyone else you would ever want -- you like a bio flick?
HEWITT: I would love to do Elizabeth Taylor.
BEHAR: You can do that. She was married eight times.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: Twice to the same guy, once.
HEWITT: Yes, sounds awesome.
BEHAR: You`d have to -- but there was a period she put on a lot of weight. You`d have to pull a Robert De Niro. Are you willing to do that?
HEWITT: I am willing to do that.
BEHAR: You are.
HEWITT: Just bring out those old photos.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: What a sport you are. Get back on the beach.
HEWITT: Thank you. Thank you
BEHAR: Thank you so much for coming on the show. You`re just adorable. Thank you. And the book is called, "The Day I Shot Cupid." Good night, everybody.
END
