Return to Transcripts main page

CNN Live Saturday

Interview with Pam Ilar, Mother of Premature Baby

Aired May 18, 2002 - 12:49   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
FREDRICKA WHITFIELD: And one mother who remembers all too well the crisis of a premature birth, Pam Ilar and her son Justin. They join us from us Washington now. She gave birth to Justin at just 25 weeks into her pregnancy. Thanks very much, both of you, for joining us.

PAM ILAR, MOTHER: You're welcome.

WHITFIELD: You were about, what was it, 22 weeks into your pregnancy when doctors had bad news for you. And you had to make a decision. What did they tell you?

PAM ILAR: Well, they told us that they expected him to come out at about 500 grams and he came out at 380 grams.

They said that they were cautiously optimistic, that they were very guarded because he was so, so small. It was the smallest one at Fairfax at that time. They just said that we would have to see how the first 24 hours went. We would have to take it one day at a time. That's pretty much how we had to take it for a good three or four months.

WHITFIELD: When at 25 weeks you had that c-section, in the days to follow what did doctors tell you, what kind of information did they give you, what kind of tools did they say would be available to help you, in what was going to be an extremely volatile next few weeks, even years, if it even came to that point? Sometimes doctors are pessimistic are about it and let you know the 24, 48 hour period is crucial.

PAM ILAR: What they said was, we needed support, we got support from my family, my husband's family.

They also said that it would be a day by day. And it would be basically -- if something came up they would have to address it, and then hopefully move on. And little things came up, but I was so appreciative of the communication that the doctors had with Alex and myself about Justin's condition. All of the doctors, not just the primary ones.

They were very open with talking with Alex and I about what exactly was going on with Justin day by day. And that was important for me to know what was going on. They told us some things to expect, like the brain bleeds and the lung issues and stuff like that. But they were -- it was all in English, which was important for me to be able to understand what they were saying, what things were going on with Justin.

It was a shock, you know. It was a shock to them, a shock to us. But we had a lot of support there and we were able to get through things together, with the doctors and the nurses and family. So that helped a lot. Communication was the key, them letting us know what was going on. Long-term effects, I don't think they knew then. They could really only judge day by day.

WHITFIELD: And I use the word pessimistic, really doctors want to be realistic with their patients, particularly in a situation like this. So what sort of tools were you about to say that they really did have? What did they know about what could possibly happen, except that it was a day by day journey?

PAM ILAR: They just gave us conditions that, you know, babies this small, there's a chance of premature -- there's a chance of respiratory issues, there's a chance of brain damage. There are a whole bunch of things that could happen. None of it's real unless it's something that they can see.

WHITFIELD: So now all of those possibilities, Justin is now seven years old, it's been a long haul for you all but he looks great and he looks healthy.

PAM ILAR: He is great.

WHITFIELD: Justin, can you tell me, how are you feel something.

JUSTIN ILAR: Great.

WHITFIELD: Good. So at this point, what grade are you in?

JUSTIN ILAR: First grade.

WHITFIELD: First grade, OK. And so you are able to be as active as you'd like to be with all of your fellow classmates?

JUSTIN ILAR: Yeah.

WHITFIELD: So Ms. Ilar, during this time, his state had to be considerably fragile. You had to have an awful lot of worries about whether he would be able to be as strong as he needed to be, keep up with the other kids. And even if you would even possibly make it to seven years old.

PAM ILAR: The beginning is devastating. It's fear. It's anxiety. There's depression. It's grief. You go through the whole grieving process. I didn't know if he was going to make it. Nobody did. I didn't know that he would make it to seven, then I didn't know if he'd make it to one. You worry about everything. The what if's.

WHITFIELD: What are the what if's now? PAM ILAR: The what if's are, you know, the developmental delays. Will he catch up that weight -- will the weight catch up? I'm told it will. It will come together if we just keep on top of things. And Justin's doing well as you can see. He's a healthy 7-year-old boy.

WHITFIELD: Alert, we can see.

PAM ILAR: And alert.

WHITFIELD: He's acknowledging all that's around him. It's fascinating, isn't it, Justin?

JUSTIN ILAR: Yes.

WHITFIELD: Are you enjoying seeing yourself on TV there, you have a monitor in front of you? All right. So this evening, on "CNN PRESENTS," the focus is "Babies on the Brink." You've been able to share with us your very real experience, a journey you are still traveling. Best to you, Pam Ilar and Justin, thank you both of you for joining us. Appreciate it.

PAM ILAR: Thank you.

JUSTIN ILAR: You're welcome.

"Babies on the Brink," "CNN PRESENTS," airs tonight at 8:00 Eastern, 5:00 Pacific here on CNN.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.fdch.com