Return to Transcripts main page
D.L. Hughley Breaks The News
Comedian D.L. Hughley Gives His Take on the Week's News
Aired February 14, 2009 - 22:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
D.L. HUGHLEY: Hey now, how are you guys doing? Give yourselves a big round of applause. Thank you all for coming out. Thank you. Nice looking audience.
Well, I -- I'm very excited. We got a great show lined up here. I'm going to a gun show. We have a pastor who cusses. We are going to talk about steroids and the government. It will be fun.
But before we do any of that, I want to say to all of the ladies, happy Valentine's Day. Not that I really mean that, because -- I really hate Valentine's Day. I do. Like now I work in an office where you will see flowers coming in and women looking around, are these for me? Are they? You can't just send flowers to a woman at home. You have to send them to her job. That way she can convince other people somebody loves her. That's what that is.
And why do I need a day to express my love to you. My wife's like, what did you get me for Valentine's Day? I paid the mortgage, that's what I did. You want flowers, plant them in the front yard.
Some of the Valentine's traditions, did you ever see those edible underwear? They ain't for everybody. Some got entirely too much behind. You're not going to finish? Girl, I'm full now. I need a nap and doggy bag. Wrap it up, I will carry it to me to work tomorrow.
And it is Lincoln's birthday. Happy birthday to Lincoln. I really have a -- Obama really likes Lincoln a lot. I personally do, too. Because I'm glad he did what he did, because or otherwise I would be serving tea right now. Thank you, Lincoln. And of course, in the news, Michael Phelps, you know, the Olympic swimmer, our multi gold medalist. Everybody saw the picture of him smoking a bong.
And I -- I'm not advocating smoking weed. But when you're 23, isn't that what you're supposed to do? Like who hasn't smoked weed at 23? Like the purpose of being 23 is so you make mistakes and learn from them. And they act like -- listen, let's dispense with the notion that athletes are role models. They're not. They're often very young and very rich and very spoiled. They're doing what everybody else would do, and if you haven't smoked weed by the time you're 23, you're boring. So that's pretty much it.
And Kellogg's canceled his contract. The only time I ever eat cereal is when I'm high. That's all it is. You see a grown man eat Frosted Flakes, he's high. I have been so high, I've tried to make a sandwich out of Frosted Flakes before. And then we get mad at athletes for doing stuff like that, and we don't get mad at elected officials. It's no secret that a lot of elected officials have substance abuse, like alcoholics. Like Betty Ford, ex-President Ford's wife was such an alcoholic, they named a clinic after her. You know how much you have to drink for them to name a clinic after you?
Like, Betty, we're going to have to call this your place. We're worn out.
There are a lot of things going on in sports, every other week there is some sports figure in controversy. Joining me now is Pam Oliver of Fox Sports to discuss it. How are you doing, beautiful?
PAM OLIVER, FOX SPORTS: Hey, how are you? You're looking dapper, as always.
HUGHLEY: Well, before we start on this, you joined us before the Super Bowl. You made a prediction. Do we have that prediction?
OLIVER: Oh, God.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
OLIVER: I will go 21-14, Arizona.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HUGHLEY: Twenty-one fourteen, Arizona. Didn't work out that way, Pam.
OLIVER: It could have been but they got robbed. They got robbed. We all know that.
HUGHLEY: Oh, yeah, you're right. How did they get robbed?
OLIVER: I just saw the officiating down the line was a little suspect. That's all.
HUGHLEY: OK. Now, Michael Phelps, of course, we discussed his travails earlier. Is he getting a raw deal right now?
OLIVER: Well, you know, that was so ignorant, it's not even funny. You're at a party. You are an eight-time gold medalist and you allow yourself to be photographed with this big old bong in your face. Isn't that the funniest word in the English language, by the way? Bong, bong, bong. You're Michael Phelps and that was ridiculous. Arrests are coming. These guys are kind of identifying. There's a major effort to get, you know, some kind of criminal charges against Michael Phelps.
But I'm with you, he's 23 years old. Twenty-three-year-olds do silly things.
HUGHLEY: Right. OLIVER: But when you you've got all of those millions of dollars riding on it, you know, things -- people start talking about role models and how it's so disappointing to kids. I think young people today are kind of oblivious to all of this. Because they're disappointed a lot.
HUGHLEY: But if you go on Facebook, you will see any number of people doing the dumbest things and that's what they do. Honestly, certainly I'm not sitting here telling you what I think ...
OLIVER: Sure you're not.
HUGHLEY: That I want to hang out with him, and I do, that I think what he did was right, but I do thing what he did was human.
OLIVER: Yeah.
HUGHLEY: And O think we're a little hypocritical. I think what he did was -- he was at a party and he got high. But if he had that same picture with a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand, nobody would have got upset.
OLIVER: Nobody would care. But I think what's really working for him and will get him through that is that his accomplishments in his swimming pool haven't been questioned. He was obviously clean. That has not been tainted. So I think that's really what people should consider is we want our athletes to do well, be clean in the sport that they do. If they have -- if they make mistakes away from the pool or away from the field, I think that's a whole different thing.
HUGHLEY: Right. Either that or weed makes you swim fast.
You think his career is going to ultimately be OK, though?
OLIVER: Yeah. I think he will be fine. Because he's a terrific athlete. I think he will overcome it.
HUGHLEY: Now, there's another high-profile athlete in the news. Let me tell you -- let me show you what A-Rod said earlier this week when he apologized.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ALEX RODRIGUEZ, BASEBALL PLAYER: I'm guilty for a lot of things. I'm guilty for being negligent, naive, not asking all of the right questions, and to be quite honest, don't know exactly what substance I was guilty of using.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HUGHLEY: So, in other words, I'm sorry for getting caught, right? That's pretty much ...
OLIVER: That's exactly what it is. I think Barry Bonds said the cream that he took which led to a positive steroid test was flaxseed, and it was supposed to help him with his arthritis. HUGHLEY: But I think that there are obviously going to be more names to come. Shouldn't people, if they know they did it, and they know they took the test, shouldn't a bunch of people just start copping to it right now?
OLIVER: Yeah, those 103 other players better start doing something. Because if A-Rod's name was leaked by somebody who I think just hates him, those other 103 players who tested positive in '03, even though that was supposed to be secret, these samples were supposed to be destroyed, all of that, those players better worry big time.
HUGHLEY: Why do you think people are having the reaction they are?
OLIVER: I think with this player in particular, he is the highest- paid baseball player ever. $32 million a year with the Yankees and will get that much for the next nine years. So I think there was kind of a lot of glee as it pertained to A-Rod in this situation, but I do think there was maybe some jealousy. Why was his name the only one leaked? Why was it such an explosion. It was the second-leading story on the network news behind the stimulus package?
HUGHLEY: Basically, it looks like everybody was doing it, everybody.
OLIVER: Remember, D.L., these people have natural athletic ability. But to add to that chemically and to cheat, it just costs them a lot. You have to ask if it's worth it.
HUGHLEY: Honestly, I hear what you're saying but what do you think is going to be the upshot of this whole thing? What's going to happen? To A-Rod, to Tejada, to Bonds, to Clemens?
OLIVER: I think -- A-Rod probably is not going to get in the Hall of Fame. Bonds may not. Mark McGwire, his voting tallies dwindled. And that's supposed to be the thing that they aim for. So I think their image and their reputation is tainted, and you wonder about all of those accomplishments and all of those home runs. Whereas A-Rod has had his best season with the Yankees, and obviously as a clean player. So you got to wonder, why?
HUGHLEY: Oh, man.
OLIVER: Yeah.
HUGHLEY: I wish I could take something that made me a better host. I would do it. Thank you very much for being with us today, Pam.
OLIVER: You got it.
HUGHLEY: Pam Oliver, everybody. Thank you. See you again.
OLIVER: Thank you.
HUGHLEY: Next, I'm going to talk to some gun lovers at close range.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK) HUGHLEY: Well, ever since Obama won the election, gun sales have skyrocketed. Last week I went to Houston, Texas, to see what the gun- loving folk down there had to say besides, "Don't mess with Texas". Check it out.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
HUGHLEY: Before e you can shoot a gun, you got to buy a gun. And I'm at the world famous gun store in Texas and business is hopping. So depression, what depression?
So you are here buying a gun?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes.
HUGHLEY: What kind?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, I purchased an RPK ...
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Glock.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: .30 caliber and .45 caliber.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm a Smith & Wesson guy.
HUGHLEY: Me, too.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: AK-47.
HUGHLEY: Why AK-47?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's light and easy to shoot.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Magazines.
HUGHLEY: Why are you buying magazines?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: They're hard to find. They're like gold.
HUGHLEY: Why so?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We're expecting the government in place to outlaw them all.
HUGHLEY: What's really hopping off the shelves these days?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: AR-15s, AKs, Glocks, anything semiautomatic, anything that you can fit more than 10 rounds in.
HUGHLEY: Under Clinton, guns with over 10 bullets were considered assault weapons and banned. The ban expired but will it return?
Do you think that Obama is going to take the assault weapons off the market?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: First chance he can. HUGHLEY: This is a monumental gun sale?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Absolutely.
HUGHLEY: Why is that?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Because the Democrats intend as part of their record to make permanent the assault weapons ban.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Obama's my main man. I got to send him a gun. He is the salesman of the month.
HUGHLEY: But not everyone was shaking in their cowboy boots.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: If I had thought that, then I wouldn't have voted for him.
HUGHLEY: Really?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yeah.
HUGHLEY: Why do you think people think that?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: People are scared. Always will be. Change, change is new. People are scared of new.
BARACK OBAMA, U.S. PRESIDENT: I believe in people's lawful right to bear arms. I will not take your shotgun away. I will not take your rifle away. I won't take your handgun away.
HUGHLEY: Hmm. What does Texas need its shotguns, rifles and handguns for anyway?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You need protection at home.
HUGHLEY: You need protection?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Personal protection.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This is home defense.
HUGHLEY: Right, right.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You don't want somebody breaking in and taking your stuff.
HUGHLEY: What's your favorite thing about shooting?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Relaxing.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You know, when you shoot a gun, it's like power in your hand.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's fun, bring the family along.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I had a bad week. So at lunch I went out and had to shoot my gun. Got the frustration out.
HUGHLEY: In California, they just do yoga.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Here comes a sprinkler.
HUGHLEY: What's the most fun you ever had with a gun?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hmm. Hitting ping-pong balls thrown in the air.
HUGHLEY: You can shoot a gun and hit a ping-pong ball thrown in the air?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Uh-huh.
HUGHLEY: I'm going to leave you alone.
I am here at George Bush Park. Who knew he even had a park? At the American Shooting Center where all creatures great and small get their shoot on.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Here we have rifles. We can shoot 50 yards, 100 yards, 200 yards, 300 yards, 400 yards and 600 yards.
HUGHLEY: You know you have been around for a long time, if you're not ducking or anything. I keep wanting to jump under a car.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: If you're suspected to be under the influence, you will be asked to leave.
HUGHLEY: You guys don't have a bar here?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No, we don't have a bar.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm zeroing my sights on hogs.
HUGHLEY: You're going hog hunting.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yeah.
HUGHLEY: When I go hog hunting, I go to the grocery store and pick up a pack of bacon.
What's your favorite weapon?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I have two AR-15s and two Glock pistols.
HUGHLEY: What do you need automatic weapons to hunt a hog?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: If you miss the first 29 shots, you have got one more.
HUGHLEY: If you miss the first 29 shots, you can go get bacon with me.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Whether shooting a hog or a piece of paper, Texas loves the Second Amendment. UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I think that's one of the rights of being a U.S. citizen, the right to own. It's the difference between being a subject and a civilian.
HUGHLEY: OK.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: In the event we were attacked by anybody, we have weapons. We would be able to supplement the military. We also have it against an unjust government.
HUGHLEY: Filled with constitutional pride, I had to try the semiautomatic. Look, I'm Kanye West!
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I will put it over your shoulder. Be careful. Don't put your finger on it until you're rid. Finger on the side.
HUGHLEY: Hey, you know what, I love it.
Did I get it? Did i hit anything? I hit three of them?
That one?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That one, that one.
HUGHLEY: But I never held this weapon, never. That's not too bad.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Train hard. That's a good start. That's a real good start.
HUGHLEY: What would we look like if nobody had a gun?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The bad guys with rob stores with hammers and hatchets and screw drivers. The police would chase them with hammers, hatchets and screwdrivers. The bad guys would be the bad guys and the good guys would still be the good guys.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
HUGHLEY: So, will Obama takes people's guns away? To help us check it out, we have a former NRA man and author of "Ricochet: Confessions of a Gun Lobbyist." Say hello to Richard Feldman. Hello, Richard, how are you?
So you were formerly with the NRA. You're a bit of a whistle-blower for the NRA, right?
RICHARD FELDMAN, AUTHOR, "RICOCHET": You know, I represented the firearm industry for about 10 years after I left the NRA, and I came to see the issue as I've matured on it perhaps a little differently than the NRA does.
HUGHLEY: How so?
FELDMAN: Well, to me, firearm ownership, the right to keep and bear arms, is something that needs to be protected, and it's the right of the citizens. HUGHLEY: Right.
FELDMAN: Certainly, the Supreme Court just last year in the Heller decision said exactly the same thing. It is a constitutional right, and from the many years that the NRA's been around, that's what they always said they wanted. They won the big fight, but they just refused to accept the congratulations.
HUGHLEY: Right, right. So why do they gin up fear? Why are they telling people that Obama will take their guns away from them?
FELDMAN: I hope that the Democrats have learned that this is an issue with tremendous potency in American politics. It is the third rail of American politics. And I think Democrats have gotten a lot smarter over the years and recognize that this is an issue that you should work with the gun-owning community and not make those 100 million firearm owners the enemy. They're not. It's the criminals that are the enemy, and we're all in agreement on who shouldn't be able to own firearms.
HUGHLEY: I know in California, they have a responsibility law, like the law is if I -- if a gun that I own is used in the commission of a crime, then I can be held liable for that. What do you think of a law like that?
FELDMAN: Well, that really depends on the situation. If I have a gun and I take it to the beach with me and I leave it on the beach foolishly, and if someone picks up the gun and uses it, that's pretty negligent. On the other hand, if I have the gun in my own home and somebody breaks into my home, the intervening criminal act, and then steals the gun from me, commits a crime and misuses it, what was my irresponsibility in that situation? I don't see any.
HUGHLEY: You're a very bright man. But let me clear something up. So if I go to the beach, I can't leave my gun there?
FELDMAN: Besides, they really have a tendency to rust on the beach. So I really don't recommend it.
HUGHLEY: Thank you, Mr. Feldman. Give it up to Richard Feldman. Author of "Ricochet: Confessions of a Gun Lobbyist."
Are you feeling like you're on top of the world? Well, snap out of it. Things are bleak. And I will tell you why next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(NEWSBREAK)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
HUGHLEY: Unemployment is at its highest level in years but bank CEOs and top executives are still getting huge bonuses. And you know what I say? Let them keep their bonuses if they're doing a good job. But when they screw up, there has to be consequences. Like if you screw up my mother's 401(k), she has to live with you. Now, if you do a great job, of course, you can fly first class. But if you don't, we will FedEx your ass.
And, of course, if you do a great job, you can vacation in St. Bart's and hang out with celebrities like Tom Hanks. But if you screw up, you're going to the Grammies with Chris Brown.
Oh, now you all grow a conscience
All right, joining me now to talk about some possible solutions to the mess we find ourselves in, please welcome from salon.com, Joan Walsh and conservative strategist Kellyanne Conway. Very glad to see you back. Very glad. Always glad to see you.
Joan, I have read you for a long time now, but I got a chance to see you at an inauguration event.
JOAN WALSH, SALON.COM: That's right.
HUGHLEY: And then I read an article you wrote entitled, "Obama, the Great Communicator Isn't." You're an Obama supporter but you don't think he's doing a good job communicating his idea on the stimulus package?
WALSH: I think he had a good week. When I wrote that, it was the end of last week and I was very concerned that he was not out selling it, he was not putting it into clear themes that Americans could understand, namely jobs, jobs, jobs, spending, spending, spending, and saving our economy. He let Republicans define it coming out of the gate. So it was about condoms, and it was about pork. And he really didn't ...
HUGHLEY: I don't know how those go together but I'm excited somehow.
WALSH: You like the bill. When you saw the bill, you liked it. Anyway, Republicans didn't like the condoms or the pork. Anyway, that's not what the bill is about. There were tiny things that you could object to. There was a negotiation process that happened but he got behind. He kind of came -- he was back on his heels before the fight even began. And I think he did the right thing this week going out to Elkhart, Indiana, going out to Ft. Myers, Florida. That's what he should have done, you know, from day one. And it was a harder fight than it should have been.
HUGHLEY: Kellyanne, you think he is well served by taking this fight directly to the people?
KELLYANNE CONWAY, CONSERVATIVE STRATEGIST: It's a forum in which he's most comfortable and it's one that helped him become president of the United States. Now, the difference is, presidential candidates are meant to inspire, but presidents are meant to inform. And what many people are telling pollsters now, those very skeptical of the stimulus, is that they want specifics. The more specifics they heard early on, the more against it they were because there were some of those bright, glaring examples of $50 million for this and $30 million for this. And people say that doesn't create jobs, that creates havoc. But I think it's great that he goes out to the town hall meetings. But I actually think at some point he just needs to stay in Washington more. Usually we tell politicians you need less of Washington. I actually think he needs more of it, because that's where these decisions are going to be made and that's where the center of power is now.
The other mistake I think he made, which he probably won't make again, is confusing bipartisanship as a means rather than a goal. He almost had it as a goal.
HUGHLEY: Right.
CONWAY: It's a necessary means, but it is often a flawed, if not fatal goal.
HUGHLEY: Why? Why do you say that?
CONWAY: Because nothing gets passed just by saying, I want bipartisanship. What you want is the bill to pass with bipartisanship, which he ultimately didn't really get. And actually what Republicans were able to do, their vertebras again, they finally have a backbone.
HUGHLEY: I think there are aspects of this stimulus package that I like and certainly some that I don't. Stimuluses historically haven't worked. When Hoover did it, in Japan, when they had the economic crisis. But nothing that he can say is going to be the magic bullet for us that makes everybody get it. So he has to say something very unpopular.
WALSH: I guess I would argue that a lot of the stimulus in the New Deal did work. It didn't bring us all the way out of unemployment, but they want to come all the way out, but we can get really wonky here, but there are a lot of liberals like me who believe the problem with the New Deal was that it didn't go far enough.
HUGHLEY: The problem for me, I know that I'm angry. We were told that we need -- Bush said, well, you need to give me this trillion dollars, what it amounted up to, so that we can stem this mortgage crisis, so we can get the banks loaning again. What happened was, they still aren't lending money.
WALSH: They took the money.
HUGHLEY: And ran away with it. And now Americans are being asked again to give another $1 billion and we're going, wait, you told us that would work. I don't care who's saying it, they are both saying the same thing.
WALSH: I think that is really a huge political problem for Obama. There's no way around it. Liberal, conservative, you know, we had this trillion dollar bailout. So far it didn't work. There are people who say it would be worse without it.
HUGHLEY: How do we know that? You can't prove a negative. WALSH: They don't say it without conviction. People are not getting loans that they need so they haven't solved that process yet. Since I wrote that piece, when I wrote that piece, Obama -- the support for the stimulus had dropped about seven percent that week. It's up seven percent again.
CONWAY: I want to make a point. The people who are deciding, who are voting on the stimulus package are Congress, they believe that money is how you win. Money -- that's how they won. Ninety-three percent of the winners in the 2008 election were the ones who spent the most money.
HUGHLEY: Right.
CONWAY: So in their own political careers they're saying, you spend the most money, you win. And that's the way they look at it.
HUGHLEY: My wife thinks that.
You know, I think it is -- clearly, not in addition to anger, there is a bit of crisis of confidence. We are not confident in what they say. We're not confident. Like most people are kind of like, I better not spend any money because I don't know if I am going to have a job. I don't know what's going on. I think instead of these far-reaching programs, it seems to me what we need is a base hit.
We need a series of small things that make us start to feel better. Then if we have confidence -- everything good for me as a consumer is bad for the economy. I should save, I shouldn't spend. The economy needs for me to burn through money and I will only do that as a consumer if I feel better. What do you think is an example of a base hit?
WALSH: I think the aid to the states and cities will help. Maybe you won't have to have workers furloughed in California where I live.
HUGHLEY: Me, too.
WALSH: It's like, did you want to go to the DMV last week and do something? You couldn't. It was closed. I think that lends -- that leads to greater crisis of confidence that teachers are being laid off in public schools. People are being told, you might not be back next year. So I actually think that stemming the tide of those kinds of impending layoffs will be helpful.
CONWARD: You're advocating for incrementalism and I would as well. Three yards and a cloud of dust actually would be fine, too, to use a sports analogy but that's not what the stimulus package is. It is not incremental. I was very concerned that we're rushing through something so massive and the trillion dollars worth of debt that the Bush administration -- that was amassed during the bush administration, in fact that doesn't mean we should have another trillion. We have a trillion, I will raise you a trillion. I'm concerned about that.
The other thing I have to say about the public's opinion right now, we're not even angry. Anger is easier to deal with. We are actually nervous. There's an angst because the job losses are so random, they are so unforgiving, they are so widespread. They are ever industry. It's no longer the lazy guy who was the last to come will be the first to leave. No, no. It's your neighbor, it's your friend, it's the guy in the cubicle, it's you. It's not you. And that's what's so concerning and I think that's why people are looking towards government for solutions.
For years, people had the luxury of saying, I don't trust institutions. I don't trust the government. Now they're only saying ...
HUGHLEY: I need them. That's interesting stuff. Give it up to Joan Walsh and Kellyanne Conway. Thank you guys very much.
Valentine's Day is perfect for dirty talk. I just never thought it would come from a pastor.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
HUGHLEY: Well, it is Valentine's Day, and you know what that means. A lot of people are going to be getting their groove on. But would you ever ask your pastor for advice on doing the deed? Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PASTOR MARK DRISCOLL, MARS HILL CHURCH: The truth is most men, and particularly newly married men, we don't know what we're doing but we pretend like we do because otherwise we're embarrassed. And you could talk and tell them, do this, do this, do this. Never do that again. Just let them know ...
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HUGHLEY: Well, if you're a catholic priest, you can say, "I'll show you." You know it's true. Don't give me that.
Joining me now from Mars Hill Church in Seattle is Pastor Mark Driscoll. How are you doing, Mark?
DRISCOLL: I'm good. Happy Valentine's Day weekend.
HUGHLEY: Happy Valentine's Day to you. Talking about sex at church. That is a bit of a twist. Do people actually talk to you, come to you and ask you advice on what to do?
DRISCOLL: Yeah, who else are they going to ask? So sometimes when I preach, I will have people text message in questions so they can be anonymous.
HUGHLEY: Now, you are pretty much the voice of a new generation. You involve technology and religion. That's pretty interesting. How did you come up with that concept? I think that's very interesting.
DRISCOLL: I grew up kind of Jack Catholic. I was about as lost as Dick Cheney in the woods. And then I started reading the Bible when I was in college and became a Christian. I married my high school sweetheart and we started a church in Seattle for people who otherwise probably weren't going to go to church. So most of the church is single and in their 20s.
HUGHLEY: Now, are you -- you talk about things like premarital sex. What is your stance on premarital sex?
DRISCOLL: I'm a Bible-believing Christian, so for us sex outside of marriage is not acceptable. And sex within marriage is supposed to be a lot of fun.
HUGHLEY: So, wait, premarital sex ...
DRISCOLL: Right.
HUGHLEY: Here's my thing. I was reading some of the things you said, and you obviously had sex before you were married?
DRISCOLL: I did. I was having sex with my girlfriend until I became a Christian. And i was reading the bible, and it said do not be a fornicator. That was an F word I was totally unfamiliar with. Brand- new F word for me. So I called the pastor. And he said that's sleeping with your girlfriend. So I stopped sleeping with her. We ended up getting married and since then we have been making up for lost time.
HUGHLEY: That's always funny. Honestly, I believe you believe what you're saying. You did it and now it's wrong to do. That's kind of like, I'll sin and then I will stop and then I will start again. That's pretty much a little funny to me to tell somebody don't have premarital sex even though I did it.
DRISCOLL: I think it's good to tell people I made mistakes. I read your bio. You were a gang member. And if you went on the show and say I'm telling people not to be in gangs. I wouldn't call you a hypocrite. I would call you a good leader.
HUGHLEY: If gang banging felt as good as sex, I would still do it right now. I promise. What about - these are just question I cannot believe I heard on some of the text messages. What does the Bible say about masturbation? Would it be considered birth control?
DRISCOLL: It doesn't say anything.
HUGHLEY: No?
DRISCOLL: No, it doesn't say anything.
HUGHLEY: Thank God.
DRISCOLL: I had one guy who tried to tell me it did. He quoted Ecclesiastics where it says, "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all of your might." But that's about working a job.
HUGHLEY: Well, that is a scripture I would use.
DRISCOLL: Yeah, it's a good verse, but it doesn't apply to that question.
HUGHLEY: Oral sex. There are people who are very religious who will make these pacts not to stay -- to not involve themselves with sex but they will have oral sex and they still consider themselves virgins. Is that true?
DRISCOLL: That's the weirdest virgin I ever heard of.
HUGHLEY: Me too.
DRISCOLL: If your wife came home and said, I have been totally faithful except doing this on the side, you wouldn't agree.
HUGHLEY: You believe in sexual education through porn is bad.
DRISCOLL: Porn is all bad.
HUGHLEY: Really?
DRISCOLL: Porn is all bad.
HUGHLEY: I'm going to burn my collection as soon as I get home. There goes my -- but what about somebody using like karma sutra? Those are people trying to learn about sex. Would that be ...
DRISCOLL: That's Hinduism. That's a totally different scene. I'm not a huge fan of the karma sutra. But I think it's good to have freedom in marriage, experiment, find some things to work. Stretch so you don't pull out a hamstring. Just make it fun.
HUGHLEY: There are some critics who are saying you're pornifying religion, the church, and only adding to the moral squalor of the culture which seems a bit harsh to me. How do you respond to that?
DRISCOLL: That's the pajama hadeen (ph). There are always haters. And everything you read on the Internet isn't true. My real goal is to after young guys in their 20s who are singles and sometimes ladies that are in their 60s that live in the woods don't exactly get what I'm trying to do, and that's not a shock.
HUGHLEY: What do you say to people like me? I'm not a 25-year-old cat. I'm a guy who has had my experiences, but still come away with them feeling a little bit apathetic towards religion. What about me?
DRISCOLL: You know what, buddy, that's a great question. I think what you probably love about your wife, if she belongs to God, is that she loves you and she encourages you and she serves you and you see what God's done in her heart and in her character.
HUGHLEY: Oh, she does serve me, pal!
DRISCOLL: That's a nice girl. You appreciate that.
HUGHLEY: I do -- I'm not trying to be facetious. I do love that about her. But there are aspects that, when it comes to religion, the way that I grew up and the things that I saw are juxtaposed to the way you're supposed to be when you're a Christian have really -- they have made me apathetic. And the things ...
DRISCOLL: What about Jesus, D.L.? I will just get right to the issue.
HUGHLEY: Right.
DRISCOLL: Religion, yeah, has got all kinds of problems. Churches got problems. But Jesus, Jesus is the big issue. Do you like Jesus? Do you dig Jesus?
HUGHLEY: Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.
DRISCOLL: Then I think that's really what matters at the end of the day. Churches are filled with people who are imperfect and sinful and Jesus is working on them all.
HUGHLEY: Now I got a rabbi and a preacher. Thank you, Mr. Driscoll. Thank you very much.
DRISCOLL: Happy Valentine's Day.
HUGHLEY: Happy Valentine's Day to you, too.
When we come back, I will give a shout out to everyone who made the headlines this week.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(NEWSBREAK)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
HUGHLEY: All right. What we're going to do now is take a look at the people in the news this week to find out what the hell were they thinking? Like here in Florida, at a Florida town hall meeting, Obama was taking questions from a young kid named Julio, a college kid.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
OBAMA: All right. Right here. The guy with the cap. Last one. Now, it better be a good one. Go ahead.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, it's such a pleasure to see you, Mr. President. Thank you for taking time out of your day. Oh Mr. President!
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HUGHLEY: This guy thinks he's on "The Price is Right." Ooh, Bob Barker, you look like you got a tan and you're so tall now. Here is Julio being interviewed after his conversation.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: To be able to hear from the president directly what exactly kinds of things are going to come with this economic stimulus package. See, like myself, I have been at McDonald's for nearly four and a half years.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HUGHLEY: Julio, you're always be at McDonald's. Because you're not Wendy's material. That's right. Eight years from now, you'll be at McDonald's. Hopefully, you'll move up to fries, but that's pretty much it. Here is a survivor of the Hudson River crash singing a song she wrote for Sully, the pilot.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(MUSIC)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HUGHLEY: I just saved this beautiful blonde girl's life and all she wants to do for me is sing a song. Because that's what everyone wants is a song.
Here is porn star, Stormy Daniels, who's running for senator in Louisiana.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
STORMY DANIELS, PORN STAR: I'm always up for a good fight. I think anybody who knows me is more than aware of that. Politics can't be any dirtier of a job than the one I'm already in.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HUGHLEY: Stormy, Stormy, Stormy. It's actually harder when you're a senator because you have to screw the whole country.
Now here's Michelle Obama being honored at a Native-American ceremony.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And at this point we will hear an honor song for the first lady, and then we will hear from the first lady.
(MUSIC)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HUGHLEY: Don't worry, Mrs. President, they're only after the white people. Finally, here is actress Salma Hayek in Sierra Leone, breastfeeding someone else's baby.
Oh, look at the baby thinking, thank God she doesn't know I'm actually 19. I'm so glad malnutrition makes you look so young. Don't adjust your TV set. You're about to see more than one black comedian on CNN when we come back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
HUGHLEY: I am very excited to talk with this cat. I have watched him for a very long time. But he wrote a book titled "I Would Rather We Got Casinos." Please welcome author and comedian Larry Wilmore. Hey, Larry.
LARRY WILMORE, COMEDIAN: How you doing?
HUGHLEY: Now, I have been a fan of your work for a long time.
WILMORE: Thank you, D.L. I appreciate. Likewise.
HUGHLEY: Thank you very much. In the book you wrote about getting rid of the term African American.
WILMORE: Yes, sir. Time to go. Time to go.
First of all, black people, we change our name more than porn stars. Let's be honest, D.L. It was like negro, colored, we were black. And then we were Afro American. We were named after a hairstyle. I think we should move to the next entry. So chocolate. We should call ourselves chocolate. It's a start.
HUGHLEY: Why is that?
WILMORE: Who doesn't like chocolate, right? Dark skin brothers can be dark chocolate. Light skin brothers, milk chocolate. If you're half and half, like Obama, that's chocolate milk. Because technically, chocolate was poured into the milk.
We have Latinos who look dark, you know, who look black ...
HUGHLEY: Right.
WILMORE: But they're not really black.
HUGHLEY: Right.
WILMORE: They would be Reese's Pieces. Because technically they're more peanut butter than chocolate. Everybody knows that.
HUGHLEY: Look at the white people, I will never buy chocolate again. Now, February is black history month.
WILMORE: Right.
HUGHLEY: And you are not into us having a whole month.
WILMORE: I did a routine on this a couple of years ago. You know what, we make up for 400 years of oppression with 28 days of trivia. I would rather we got casinos.
HUGHLEY: Yeah, Indian, they suffered a lot but they get us back one hand of blackjack at a time.
WILMORE: Exactly.
HUGHLEY: You have an interesting take on black leaders. WILMORE: Right, in the book I talk about -- the book is like a fake collection of fake op-eds, fake things from a radio show. I always say like Obama's not a black leader. Because, first of all, he was elected. If you want to be a black leader, you're self-appointed. You don't have to be elected. It's great. It's fantastic to be a black leader. You have to have reverend in your name. You've got to have reverend in your name. And you don't want to have a church.
HUGHLEY: No.
WILMORE: Because you don't want people to connect you to any church.
HUGHLEY: Right.
WILMORE: But white people will be afraid when you get angry. Because somehow they think Jesus might be connected to them.
HUGHLEY: What about Jesus? You talk about black Jesus in the book.
WILMORE: In the book, yeah. The fact that Jesus was black is not controversial in the black community.
HUGHLEY: No.
WILMORE: No. Black people, it's just a given. Right?
HUGHLEY: Right.
WILMORE: But a lot of times they point to like his olive skin and wool-like hair. But that only proves Jesus may have been dark. So in the book I gave extra evidence to show that he actually may have been black.
HUGHLEY: Like?
WILMORE: Like from the moment of the Immaculate Conception, the question of who the baby daddy is was already an issue. Already an issue. No DNA test, no "Maury Povich Show". No way of knowing.
HUGHLEY: You know, I never thought about that.
WILMORE: That's why I'm here. His cousin had the first hip-hop name, John the Baptist, 2,000 years before Cedric the Entertainer. Jesus walked the water, why? Brothers can't swim. It's in there. He drank out of a chalice way before Snoop Dogg did. Years before. I'm just putting the dots out there. People can ...
HUGHLEY: You can connect them yourself.
WILMORE: Exactly.
HUGHLEY: Moving into some stories I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to get your take on -- Obama did go on the road. He went on the road to sell the stimulus package.
WILMORE: Right. That was smart. Kind of like the "Kings of Comedy." HUGHLEY: Yeah.
WILMORE: I think Cedric was opening for him.
Obama, it's tough. Like the "Onion" said, the president gets a job at the worst time and I'm still waiting for my change. I voted for change. In November. And I haven't gotten any change.
HUGHLEY: What about the woman in California, she had 14 kids. She had eight octuplets, and then so she had eight octuplets ...
WILMORE: She had eight octuplets? She had 64 kids?
HUGHLEY: You know what I mean.
WILMORE: Her vagina is like a clown car.
HUGHLEY: And she has a Dalmatian? She had them all, like. Why would you want 14 kids, you know?
WILMORE: I have no idea. It's just got to be -- I hope she doesn't breastfeed, is all I got to say.
HUGHLEY: Salma Hayek can help.
WILMORE: She should hire Salma Hayek to come in and give her a hand.
HUGHLEY: When you see a lot of the stuff going on, you're a comedian.
WILMORE: Right.
HUGHLEY: And some of it you just have to laugh.
WILMORE: Right.
HUGHLEY: Like how we find ourselves in this economic turmoil. That has to be -- I know it's very depressing but the only way to kind of deal with it is to kind of joke about it.
WILMORE: I know. And we bring the brother in to clean it up like he's a janitor. It's like, that's really nice.
HUGHLEY: Larry Wilmore, everybody.
Thank you very much.
Now I am going to tell you one reason you should have a kid, or should I say eight reasons.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
HUGHLEY: Before we go, here's one more thing. You know, Larry and I were discussing the woman who had the eight kids and the six before that. Well, the interesting thing is she had them all by being artificially inseminated. So, in other words, she didn't actually have sex to have kids. Now, kids are the consolation prize for having sex. I have three children and I love them all. But if I didn't have them by having sex, those suckers wouldn't exist. Happy Valentine's Day.
And I will see you next week. Thank you.
