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Glenn Beck

What`s the Future of Energy Production?; The Energy Dating Game; What Should Be Done with Iran?

Aired June 12, 2006 - 19:00   ET


ANNOUNCER: "Here I Ambien: The Life and Times of Patrick Kennedy," starring Gary Busey, will not be seen tonight so that we can bring you this special presentation.
GLENN BECK, HOST: I don`t know about you, but I love energy. I always need, you know, a good energy boost. That`s why I take energy supplements, protein shakes and good old-fashioned crack. But kids, I never smoke it, because I heard from Whitney Houston crack is whack.

Anyway, I`m always looking, you know, out for some new sources of energy. The next time -- I`ve actually decided -- I buy a car it`s going to probably be some sort of hybrid as long as it`s not ugly or obnoxious. Ideally, you know, for me, at least, I`d like to get a car that runs on Bugle Boy slacks that, quite honestly, I`ve gotten too fat for.

But I`m realistic. Honestly, if it runs on cat poop and Listerine, I`ll drive it. I don`t really care. I`m not proud.

I am going to buy a hybrid car. You know, at this moment I`m thinking that. But it`s not because of the Al Gore movie, which did nothing but bore the snot out of me. It`s because I don`t want to be beholden to the evil oil dirt bags in other countries. Every time I fill up my tank, I swear to you -- are you like this? Do you ever sit there and you`re filling it up, and you think I am just buying another pair of silk underpants for some sheik in Saudi Arabia, and I`m tired of it.

Mathew Simmons is the author of "Twilight in the Desert: The Coming Soil -- The Coming Saudi Oil Shock and the World Economy". Can you get a shorter name for this book, Matthew? I`m just...


BECK: "Twilight", good.

SIMMONS: The reason I actually used twilight is right after twilight it`s dark.

BECK: So you`re -- this is not going to be a happy interview, is it?

SIMMONS: Not really.

BECK: You`re going to tell us what we`re just doomed and...

SIMMONS: You know that when the book first came out I had several people say, "Tell me it`s fiction."

BECK: Right. Let`s start here. Why did God put all the oil under dirt bag countries. Why wasn`t it Jamaica? Everything would be irie, man, if Jamaica had some oil.

SIMMONS: Ironically, when the great tectonic separation came and the Red Sea came it was sort of like a big bulldozer that took all the oil that might have been in the whole Arabian peninsula, and it shoved it right up against these mountains. So you have 35 fields of it. It`s all they`ve ever had.

BECK: All the -- oil vey. You really have an answer for that. How long do we have before we run out of oil and -- and why?

SIMMONS: You know, we`ll never run out of oil. We`ll run out of good oil fast. It`s a little bit like when you run out of gas in your car. The world`s not out of gasoline, you just don`t have any gas in your car.

BECK: OK. What do you mean good oil?

SIMMONS: High quality sweet oil that comes rapidly out of one well, versus really low quality oil that takes more energy to convert than you actually create.

BECK: Now let`s go to this. What do you mean fast? I mean, is this one of those the earth is cooling or getting hot fast, in 4,000 years?

SIMMONS: No, this is basically the great oil wells -- not fields, wells in the Middle East back 40 years ago could produce 40,000 barrels a day out of a single well. Today it takes, you know, acres and acres and acres of wells to produce the same amount of oil for $8 billion.

BECK: Again, so again, how long do we have?

SIMMONS: Well, what`s happening right now, in my opinion is supply is starting to shrink. Now, it won`t disappear, but it`s starting to shrink when uses was needed to double. So it`s simple. We needed 120, and we`re going to have 60.

BECK: I have a tee shirt that I sell on my web site. It is "Screw the Caribou, Drill Alaska".


BECK: It really has -- I wore it here at CNN. Oh, I can`t tell you, blood shoots out of journalists` eyes. Can we take the needle out of our arm, you know, and get our fix in Alaska?

SIMMONS: No, no.

BECK: Really?

SIMMONS: No. Alaska is, I think, important to do. I think it`s very important to get rid of our drilling moratorium and try to see what we have, but we`ve run the clock out. We should have done that 20 years ago.

BECK: Matthew, you know, I really think that we are always -- you always hear we`re 15 years away from flying cars that could be powered on SPAM.

SIMMONS: Well, that might be the case. We`re right in the middle now of the beginning of a crisis.

BECK: Right. In the beginning of the crisis. If -- if we really wanted to solve this, don`t you think we could have solved this long ago?

SIMMONS: No, I don`t.

BECK: OK. All right. Well, enough said. There you go. Why do you say that?

SIMMONS: Well, this is a physics thing. And what we`re going to have to do is learn how to use less, as opposed to invent more.

BECK: Yes. Really not going to happen. Not going to happen.

SIMMONS: We`re going to have to.

BECK: No, I`m going to let my kids worry about it. Me, I`m buying a bigger car. Matthew, thanks a lot.

SIMMONS: You`re welcome.

BECK: All right. If you listen to me on the radio, you know I really am one of these guys who`s always prepared way in advance for any crackpot doomsday scenario. I had a safe room, you know, years before nothing happened on Y2K.

I really have a Tamiflu prescription, written in 2003. I`ve had my basement stocked with food and water for -- all right. All right, I get it. Food and water stacked in my basement before, you know, nothing happened on 6-6-06.

So it only stands to reason that I`m going to be the first guy to prepare for this, you know, inevitable oil crisis. But you know, if you`re going to do that, I have to pick another energy to use, and do research and stuff. And I mean it, I am the laziest guy you will ever meet.

But I have a TV show, and I thought well, why don`t I just put together, like, a little dating game show. Do you remember that TV show? "The Dating Game". We`ll get a few questions. We`ll see who sounds good, ask them out for a blind date. If things go well, maybe we marry them, spend thousands and thousands and thousands on them. You know what I`m saying?

ANNOUNCER: And now, it`s time to play the "Energy Dating Game". Three energy bachelors and one desperate bachelorette looking for the energy of her kids` dreams.

BECK: All right. The producers have lined up three energies to be represented here. I have no idea who they picked or who`s who, so let`s meet them now.

ANNOUNCER: Please say hello to energy bachelor No. 1. She`s enjoying a resurgence in popularity and loves to travel overseas.

Now, meet energy bachelor No. 2. This fun candidate loves the outdoors and has dated around for years. But now he`s ready for a serious commitment.

And finally please welcome energy bachelor No. 3. He may be young, but he`s open-minded, flexible, and wants to be in your home.

BECK: This is -- this is the stupidest show on American television. Canada is -- they`ve got worse shows.

Here we are. Bachelor No. 2, I like to take long walks on the beach at sunset. Are you going to pollute our sky on me?

NED LEONARD, CENTER FOR ENERGY AND ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT: Glenn, I`m abundant. I`m affordable. I`m flexible, and I`m increasingly clean. My emissions have gone down to 30 percent while my use has doubled in the last 30 years.

BECK: You didn`t have anything clever to say, though. Bachelor No. 1, same question to you.

LISA STILES-SHELL, NUCLEAR ENERGY INSTITUTE: No, absolutely not. If you came to one of my facilities, Glenn, you could see for miles. In fact I`m the No. 1 producer of non-emitting electricity, producing 74 percent of the non-emitting electricity in this country right now.

BECK: Bachelor No. 3, I`m ready for a serious commitment now. Are you ready to make this relationship long lasting or am I going to have to wait for something like ten years for you?

TIM O`LEARY, NATIONAL HYDROGEN ASSOCIATION: Glenn, we`ve already had a relationship. It`s decades long, and we`re moving out of an industrial environment into a retailer environment, and it`s coming sooner than you might think.

BECK: Bachelor No. 1, I`m sick and tired of head games. Are you going to play hard to get or are you in pretty good supply?

STILES-SHELL: Oh, I`m definitely available. Right now, I already supply 20 percent of the electricity in the U.S. And I am as reliable as they come. I can perform at my peak output for 18 months to two years and continuously, and with a few weeks rest I can do it all over again.

BECK: And you`re redheaded. Bachelor No. 2, same question.

LEONARD: Glenn, I`m abundant. I`ve been around for ever.

BECK: But are you sexy? Are you sexy?

LEONARD: You know me so well. I`m already in half of the homes. And I`m affordable.

BECK: So you`re cheap and easy. And Bachelor No. 3, I don`t want to waste a lot of time on small talk. Are you going to be as efficient as my precious oil, or am I going to need a lot of you?

O`LEARY: I`ve got a couple words for you: energy security, environmental benefits. And when you put us in a certain car, we are twice as efficient as our gasoline brothers and sisters.

BECK: You`ve been around for awhile?

O`LEARY: We`ve been around for awhile. You may not have seen us in cars all the time, but we`ve in other applications.

BECK: So you`re steam.

O`LEARY: Very wide, indeed (ph).

BECK: Bachelor No. 2, I`m kind of a cheap date. I`m not really looking to spend a lot of money on my new partner. Are you going to cost me a lot more than I`m already spending?

LEONARD: I`m the cheapest date out there. Where people are using me, they`re paying less than anybody else.

BECK: Bachelor No. 1, I`m not really the daredevil type. Are you safe?

STILES-SHELL: Glenn, safety is my highest priority, whether it`s for you or one of my workers. I`m proud to say that it`s safer to work in one of my facilities than even in an office or, say, a talk show host.

BECK: I don`t know. This is pretty safe yet today it`s pretty dangerous. And last one, bachelor...

ANNOUNCER: OK, Glenn, enough of your ogling. It`s time to make your choice. Which energy bachelor are you going to start a new relationship with?

BECK: Fabio. Is Fabio a choice? It`s either between two or -- I`m going to go with one.

STILES-SHELL: Fantastic.

BECK: Bachelor No. 1, what are you?

STILES-SHELL: My name is Lisa Stiles-Shell, and I represent the nuclear industry.

BECK: Yes, I figured you were because you were clean and safe.

STILES-SHELL: Absolutely.

BECK: Yes. And, you know, how come we don`t have a problem building nuclear power plants over to help Iran, but we won`t build them here? Why is that? Why don`t people understand how safe and clean nuclear energy is?

STILES-SHELL: I think nuclear energy is a mystery to a lot of people. I`ve worked and lived near nuclear power plants, so I can say on a personal experience that I know how safe and clean and secure and reliable that they are.

BECK: Except for, you know, the whole lead shroud there in Russia. That`s pretty good.

No. 2, what were you?

LEONARD: Coal. My name`s Ned Leonard. I`m for the center for Energy and Economic Development.

BECK: You know, coal has a really good -- there`s a new kind of coal where you can actually -- I hate to see this but do what the Nazis did and turn it into oil.

LEONARD: You sort of missed the flexibility.

BECK: I know. Coal -- the new kind of coal is great. And three what were you?

O`LEARY: Hydrogen, Tim O`Leary representing the National Hydrogen Association, and the great thing about hydrogen is it can be made from a wide variety of indigenous local feed stock.

BECK: Can you make it out of water?

O`LEARY: You can make it out of water. You can make it out of coal, but you...

BECK: I like -- you might be my mistress. You might.

All right. We`ll be back in just a minute. But first a fake ad from our fake sponsor.


ANNOUNCER: The best moments in life often happen at night. What if you could have even more of those magical nocturnal memories? Coal. We can make it night 24/7.




BECK: We have Joey Vento on the phone. Here`s -- you want to talk about hate mongering. He`s making people speak English at his cheesesteak shop.

JOEY VENTO, OWNER, GENO`S: You know what`s funny, Glenn?

BECK: Yes.

VENTO: This sign has been up for six months. You know what it says? "This is America. When ordering, speak English."

Now, all the city`s calling me, the convention center, you`re against immigration and said, you know, that people that don`t speak English, you`re insulting them. Well, if they don`t speak English, how the hell am I insulting them? They can`t read the sign anyway?


BECK: Geno`s cheesesteak, the best.

All right. Here is another sign of the apocalypse. We`re moving just a couple of minutes forward.

The European Union has made a little proposal to Iran last week. They basically said here, take some of our aircraft, some of our agricultural technology and a free ticket to the World Trade Organization, please. Just don`t make any nukes, all right?

The United States, why don`t we kick in some nuclear technology for a civilian energy program? Why don`t we not? Civilian energy? You`re sitting on a million tons of crude oil. Why exactly do you need nuclear energy? That`s like J.R. Ewing putting on solar panels on the top of his roof, man.

Iran wants to develop weapons. Who wants to see that? Here`s the proposal I`d like to make. Stop making nukes, Iran, or we`ll show you how we can make glass out of sand.

Earlier, I spoke with Bob Baer. He used to be with the CIA. He`s just written a new novel, "Blow the House Down" about Iran`s involvement with terrorism.


BECK: Why would we do this and offer them all kinds of incentives?

BOB BAER, AUTHOR, "BLOW THE HOUSE DOWN": Well, you know, if you want to get to the heart of the matter right away, the president`s nuts, the new president of Iran.

BECK: OK. I thought you meant our president. And I thought well, I don`t agree with him, but I don`t think he`s nuts.

BAER: Well, you know, this guy is in a category by himself. Let me give you an idea what he does. Almost every Friday he goes down to Jiamkhan (ph) mosque, and he`s got these little Post-Its. And he writes, you know, he asks questions and drops them down this well to talk to the hidden imam who disappeared hundreds of years ago. He`s been dead for hundreds of years. And this is the kind of, you know, man we`re dealing with.

BECK: This is why I say -- because I`m a conservative man, and I have really supported George W. Bush all the way, but he`s not making sense to me right now. Now why are we getting into bed with somebody who`s nuts, who`s crazy? Is it because we`re just trying to bring in France and Germany and Russia into bed with us?

BAER: I think what`s going to happen is he`s going to give the international community the full benefit about the doubt on this, Russia and China in particular.

The Europeans said, "Look, we tried to deal with this guy. We have no choice but resort to a strike." This is not going to play out the way we think it is today. It`s not going to go peacefully. We probably will be in conflict with Iran within the next year.

BECK: But see -- wow.

BAER: So I mean, I don`t -- I think what they`re doing is right. You know, pretend to go along, give them the benefit of the doubt.

BECK: But, see, every time we do this, it`s a delay tactic. It`s a delay. You know you can`t trust France, Russia. Like they`re going -- like they`re going to actually be men and women of their word? No, they`re not going to. So it`s a delay tactic. And it gives Iran more and more time.

I`m not suggesting a strike in Iran right now. Obviously, I don`t know what to do. It is a frightening situation. Let me -- let me ask you, do you think this is a more precarious situation now than the height of the Cold War?

BAER: Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I was just in Beirut. And I sat down with a guy from Hezbollah. And he said to me, he said, you know, "If you guys hit Iran, don`t ever get on an airplane for the next six months." I mean, it was a bald threat like that.

BECK: But what -- how else do you solve it? If we don`t hit them, you know Israel will hit them. And I mean, how does this -- here we are on 6-6-06. How does this not end in Armageddon?

BAER: Well, I think the apocalypse -- and they`re looking at it in apocalyptic terms, the Iranians. I mean, this guy...

BECK: This isn`t fun -- this is really not a fun interview. I don`t know. Come with me just for a second, will you? Come on over here. Let`s just move it a little closer. OK. Go ahead. So, anyway, you`re saying now that you think this is the apocalypse possibly?

BAER: Look, you know, these guys are talking about taking the world`s oil supplies off the market for years by blowing them up in the gulf. I mean, these are the kind of terms we`re dealing with. We`re talking about nuking Iran. They`re talking about driving oil up to $200, $300. It`s not a pretty picture.

BECK: Holy cow. So what`s the next step? What are the things that we should be looking for? What are the things that you`re like, if you start to see this, freak out?

BAER: I -- you know, if the negotiations fall apart and the Israelis say, "We`re doing it alone" because the Israelis don`t want to sitting in Tel Aviv...

BECK: Right.

BAER: ... with this guy with a nuke with his finger on the trigger, because he`s crazy. He has a member of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard. He`s got American and Israeli blood on his hands.

BECK: Right.

BAER: He can`t be trusted with a nuke, much less than Pakistan.

BECK: Well, I got to tell you, Bob. I want to party with you, dude. Because it would be -- it would be fun.

BAER: I`m sorry.

BECK: No, no. I appreciate it. Bob, thank you so much. We`ll have you on again.

BAER: Thanks for having me.


BECK: Welcome to today`s "Quality of Life" market update.

If you own a Cadillac Escalade, your stock has taken a tumble today on the news that your car is the most popular in the country among thieves. For the fourth straight year the Highway Lost Data Institute has named the Cadillac Escalade as the car most likely to be stolen, and with that 6.2 liter aluminum block V8 engine, trizone climate controls, in dash DVD Bose discrete sound system, chrome wheels, leather seats, this car practically screams carjack me!

Now, you might ask yourself, Glenn, what is the car that`s least likely to be stolen? And hopefully, your name is Glenn if you`re asking yourself that question. That honor would go to the much maligned Ford Taurus.

I mean, you know, if I were a car thief it really wouldn`t be my first choice, you know, unless there was a bag of money in the trunk or maybe Jessica Alba. And if she were in the trunk, I`d let her out.

Anyway, the people at Ford think that, you know, gee, this kind of stinks, but I think they shouldn`t look at this as a slam. I think this is a marketing opportunity. I mean I`m not a car salesman, but I am a thinker. Here`s what we got.


ANNOUNCER: Ford Taurus, once again voted by car thieves as the car they two least like to steal. Drive one today.


BECK: I mean, you know, put the whole thing around.

In the wildlife sector, seagulls are taking a big hit today thanks to one minor league pitcher. With the score tied 2-2, bottom of the 11th, and the county full, Durham Bulls reliever Jason Childers knew he had to throw a strike, but there was one thing standing in the way of strike three, and that was oh. There it is. A seagull.

Look at this. Look at this. Boom. Wow! Can you -- can we -- look at that. Man. Poor bird. It flops around. Believe it or not, the bird was fine after like a half hour.

Can you imagine getting hit by something your size coming at you 90 miles an hour and you just getting up 30 minutes later, going, "I`m OK. Really, I`m OK."

Apparently he took it right to a lucky fan. It`s crippled bird night at the ballpark.

Futures on human body parts, specifically anything falling below the kneecap plummeting on reports of a new sport taking England by storm. It is shin kicking. They call it soccer without the ball or the goals or the rules. Well, you get the picture.

You might ask yourself why am I wasting time talking about this? Well, I mean the only thing that we could follow the seagull getting hit by -- with the baseball is this actual footage of British people kicking the bat crap out of each other. This is a sport.

You know, just when you think you`re like oh, jeez, America, the reality show, we`re doomed. This is a sport in another country. England comes along and you`re like thank you, "Thank you, Queenie, baby, thank you." This guy`s either horrible disfigured from this or he`s got hey in his pants.

That`s not a sport, man. Can you imagine growing up and saying to your folks I just want to be the world champion shin kicker? That`s all I want, Mom and Dad. God bless you. Dream, dream, Great Britain. Keep dreaming.


BECK: Of all the stories that we brought you since we started this TV show none has gotten more feedback than the story of Captain Scott Southworth. Good reason.

In May, Scott received the General MacArthur Leadership Award. That salutes officers who demonstrate the ideals of General MacArthur: Duty, honor and country.

But that`s not the reason why we did this piece. He really is -- there`s so much more to him. He is a father. The night we originally aired this piece, he was at the White House getting a medal, but he`s more than a medal winner. He`s an American hero.


BECK (voice-over): It`s Monday morning and Scott Southworth is doing what he does every day, getting his son Ala`a ready for school. A typical routine, just not a typical family.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It`s not too bad, like yesterday.

BECK: It`s hard to believe that, less than three years ago, this father and son were strangers.

SCOTT SOUTHWORTH, ADOPTED IRAQI CHILD: We met on September 6th of 2003.

BECK: You see, Scott Southworth is a soldier. While stationed in Iraq, he spent much of his free time volunteering at a Baghdad orphanage.

SOUTHWORTH: You`re in a war zone, and you`re seeing so many horrible, terrible things happening. To be able and go and work with those children and see the laughing and the smiling and get a chance to play children`s games with the kids really helped bring some levity to all us in that war zone.

BECK: And that is exactly where he first laid eyes on Ala`a.

SOUTHWORTH: He can`t walk, so he pulled himself with his arms all the way over to where I was sitting. And then he grabbed my watch and told me all about the generator and the air conditioner and didn`t want me to leave.

BECK: It was in that moment that Scott knew that his life would be forever changed.

SOUTHWORTH: I believe Ala`a knew immediately that I was his dad, and I think he knew what was going to happen in the end.

BECK: And so it went, that Scott Southworth began the process of adopting an Iraqi child. For most people, it would be an insurmountable feat. For Scott Southworth and his soon-to-be son, it was fate.

SOUTHWORTH: We got notification from the U.S. government that humanitarian parole had been approved, and within just a matter of hours I purchased the plane tickets to fly direct from and back to the United States. And then I went into almost 24-hour mode, working with the U.S. embassy in Baghdad.

BECK: But bringing Ala`a to the U.S. was just the beginning. You see, Scott`s a single guy, raising Ala`a on his own, and Ala`a has cerebral palsy. The odds were already stacked against them.

SOUTHWORTH: Didn`t have enough money. Not capable of caring for a disabled child with cerebral palsy. Not married yet. Damper on my social life. My career.

BECK: Despite all the reasons why not, Scott went with his heart.

SOUTHWORTH: What I realized is that every one of those reasons was an excuse, an excuse that I would have felt very ashamed to give him. And so I decided that if I was going to feel ashamed for eternity and I was going to worry about him every day of my life here on Earth, then there was only one option, and that was to go get him.

BECK: Raising a child with cerebral palsy presents hardships on any parent. But instead of considering CP as a disability, Scott and Ala`a chose to embrace it.

SOUTHWORTH: I don`t look at Ala`a as a disabled child. And Ala`a doesn`t stigmatize himself as being disabled.

BECK: And when people feel sorry for him, he turns it around with a smile.

SOUTHWORTH: We do joke a little bit, you know, try to put some levity for people that give us those sympathizing looks, you know, the "Oh, you know, your poor child is in a wheelchair." And so I always lighten the mood a bit by saying things like, "Well, my child does have cerebral palsy, but his favorite food is broccoli."

BECK: Beside their shared taste for veggies, music has become a source of inspiration that Scott and Ala`a share.

SOUTHWORTH: We really found that being in the church choir, for instance, at Christmastime was just a great thing.

BECK: It`s been a couple years now, and Ala`a`s progress in school is nothing short of remarkable. The other kids have taken a liking to teaching Ala`a all the things he never learned in Iraq.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: He learned, like, how to add one plus one. And mixing colors, and he knows two of them already. How to tie your shoes and your ABCs.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: He`s really fun, and he makes me laugh. It`s nice having him around.

BECK: As for Scott`s bachelor status, I think he may have found himself a wingman.

SOUTHWORTH: I remember telling people that he was somewhat of a chick magnet. He`s much better looking than I am, so I think the girls take to him pretty well. I`m just kind of a sidekick.

BECK: Forget the obstacles. Forget the hardships. Just spend a little time with this family, and you`ll quickly see you don`t have to be typical to be a family. And every once in awhile, determination and love really can overcome anything.

SOUTHWORTH: We acknowledge that he can`t walk. We acknowledge that he has cerebral palsy. The one thing about our relationship is, is that I accept him for who he is, and he accepts me for who I am.


BECK: I can`t tell you how many e-mails we got about Scott and Ala`a. Here`s one of my favorites that we received. It`s from Louis, a father of four, in San Jose.

"When I complain too much about all the stuff I have to do, I`ll remember this story. My children will see a better father, a better listener, and a better man."

There are all kinds of father and son relationships. And while most of the time, you know, we seem to concentrate on the huge role that a mother plays in the child`s development, if you think the kind of dad you are doesn`t make a difference, I`m telling you, my friend, think again.

Stephen Poulter, a psychologist and author of "The Father Factor," Stephen, you say that the kind of dad we have predicts how successful we`re going to be in our careers. Is that right?

STEPHEN POULTER, AUTHOR, "THE FATHER FACTOR": Glenn, that is true. There`s the mother factor, but today we`re just going to focus on the father factor.


POULTER: And the father factor is about the template that we receive from our dads about, you know, how we were raised, the emotional connection, and how it plays out in our adult life.

BECK: So help me out. There are five different kinds of dads. What are the five different kinds?

POULTER: Typically, there`s five basic styles of fathering. There`s the super-achiever, the time-bomb, the passive, absent and compassionate mentor, which about 10 percent of us come from. The other 90 percent of us come from the other group.

BECK: So I have -- my dad is kind of a mixture between -- you know, I looked at what kind of dad am I, and I think I`m a mixture of some of those, as well. I`m an overachiever. I`m a, I think, compassionate encourager or what -- mentor. And I`m also, because I work all the time, I`m also a little bit absent.

POULTER: You know, Glenn, you and I, all of us fathers and mothers out there, we`re a piece of all of this. You know, we`re all sons and daughters, but primarily we had one primary parenting style. For instance, it might be the absent father or the passive dad. Kind of like the old joke, is dad asleep on the couch or is he awake?

BECK: So what do you want to be? What`s the best? What`s the one that`s going to do the least damage to your kids?

POULTER: Yes, damage control, as you and I want to move toward, like, a compassionate mentor. Because what we do is we find out what our kids want to do. We help them get there, and we help them read their own road map, not the road map we have for them, but their map. And we lead, and we guide them, much like you`re doing for your children. You`re out working, but they you`re committed to them.

BECK: Yes, you know, my wife and I were just talking about a friend who is, you know, mentoring his son and a little concerned about, you know, the direction that they`re going in and the things that they want to do. And, you know, we were talking about it, and I said, "You know, if my son or daughter wanted to do whatever, I mean, as long as it`s not drug dealer, I`m there for them, man. I want to do everything I can to help them with that and be who they want to be."

POULTER: Absolutely, Glenn. That is a compassionate mentor. You know, if your son wants to be in the band, you take him to band practice, you buy him instruments, you get him practice. Or if he wants to play football or your daughter wants to be a cook, you and I get behind what our children want to do, and that`s the legacy that we create that they can do what they want to do.

BECK: So let me ask you this, because I spend -- and I talked to so many guys who are just like me -- I`m bluffing, man. I don`t know what I`m doing as a dad. I`m really convinced that most of our time is spent just not screwing our kids up. Give me a tip out of the book. How do I be a good dad?

POULTER: You know something, Glenn? At the end of the day, the thing that your kids are going to remember: Were you interested, involved, and did you know them? If you`re doing those three things, Glenn, you`re doing a great job.

That doesn`t mean you`re perfect, that doesn`t mean you don`t blow up or we miss birthdays or crazy things happen, but are we committed to them? Do they know it? And are we interested in our kids?

BECK: Right. And the biggest mistake we can make with our kids?

POULTER: Not staying close to them, irregardless of age.

BECK: Do you know -- I mean, because, for instance, I`m, you know, struggling myself and I think most parents are trying to be home, trying to be involved, trying to -- you know, I`m a dad on the go, doing things all the time.

How do you balance your business life with -- how do you do it? Are we any different than we were than we were all farmers? I think about this all the time. When you were farmers, man, you know, you wouldn`t come in until the sun was down and you were up before the sun was up. Are we different?

POULTER: Not really, Glenn. You know, we`re working hard. You know, men are still defined by what they do outside the home, as women are now, too. But when we go to the home, when you go back to the living room, so to speak, is that we`re connected to our children emotionally, and that doesn`t always require that we`re there seven days a week, but we have a connection to our children and they know that and we know that.

BECK: Stephen, I know a lot of people are talking about your book, "The Father Factor," and we appreciate your time, sir.

POULTER: Thank you. My pleasure, Glenn.

BECK: Thank you.



CALLER: Tell me the truth. If you have your family, you live in Brazil, then you have no job. You know, your family was struggling. You know, your family is hungry. What do you do if you have that problem? Would you try another country, or would you be there, you know, waiting for your family to die?

BECK: I would try another country. I would cross the border. And here`s why I would do it. I would do it in the cover of night. I would first try to do it legally...


BECK: ... but I probably, if I was in a real dire situation, I`d probably say, "Well, that`s going to take forever. I don`t have time. My family is really starving to death," and I would try to come across the border. And I would do it because the Americans have sent the message to me, the Mexican worker, that it doesn`t make a difference. You can come in here and work, get on your feet, and then go home or not go home.

CALLER: But once you`re here, you don`t want to go home.

BECK: Exactly right.

CALLER: You know, it`s the best. Once you`re here, you don`t want to go home.


BECK: You know, earlier this year, I saw "United 93," which relives, in real-time, the flight and fate of a plate that was hijacked and crashed near Shanksville, Pennsylvania, on September 11th, and a lot of people said, "Oh, it`s too soon for a movie like that."

They were wrong. "United 93" takes one of our darkest days and turns it into a cathartic experience. It was intense, yes, but it was healing, as well. Please see that movie.

Now, another film comes out. This one`s a year later, September 11, 2002, and it weaves together the lives of five everyday New Yorkers that try to turn their loss into a new beginning. It`s called "The Great New Wonderful," and it has an all-star cast. It has Maggie Gyllenhaal, Tony Shalhoub, Edie Falco, Olympia Dukakis, and somebody else I want you to meet. He`s not just an actor. He is my favorite comedian. His name: Jim Gaffigan.


JIM GAFFIGAN, COMEDIAN: It`s really kind of a strange movie. Because if it is a comedy, it`s a dark comedy, because when it comes to 9/11, obviously, it`s a sacred, you know, moment in our history. And it`s -- but this movie is much more of, as opposed to the other movies, it`s much more of an ensemble piece, dealing with healing, how people are reacting a year after, as opposed to, you know, a...


BECK: Yes, I don`t think we`re really, you know, into the comedy of the planes flying in, but afterwards -- I mean, you know, because somebody said to me, "Oh, I don`t know if it`s time to laugh about that." Jeez, man, then when is it? Is it ever time?

GAFFIGAN: Yes, well, it`s -- yes, I mean, anyone who`s lost anyone does not find the topic of their loss funny. But, that being said, it is kind of -- you know, in this movie that Danny Leiner did, it really is an opportunity to deal with how people deal with tragedies a year after.

And I think it`s kind of an interesting notion, because, you know, as this entire country is really still kind of digesting our emotions that associate with 9/11.

What was exciting about seeing this movie is, concerning the gravity of the topic, is there wasn`t a concern about whether people were going to be upset. This movie doesn`t come close to, you know, dealing with it in a taboo or dismissive manner.

It`s really about five New Yorkers, five different New York stories and how they react a year after 9/11, so it`s September 11, 2002, and what is happening to these New Yorkers.

BECK: Set the clip up.

GAFFIGAN: Well, this clip that we`re going to see is my character, Sandie, who is seeing a therapist, who`s Tony Shalhoub...

BECK: From "Monk"?

GAFFIGAN: From "Monk," but he`s not playing Monk in this.

BECK: Right. Oh, well, then why go?

GAFFIGAN: And the therapist, Tony Shalhoub, is dealing with, you know, how Sandie is dealing with the tragedy. And he believes that I`m angry. And so...

BECK: Here we go. Watch this.


TONY SHALHOUB, ACTOR: You seem angry.

GAFFIGAN: I seem angry? I think maybe I`m just a little nervous.

SHALHOUB: That`s not what I`m saying. You`re furious. I`m actually quite concerned you may, at any moment, pick up your chair and hit me in the head with it.

GAFFIGAN: Hit you? I don`t want to hit you, Dr. Trabulous.

SHALHOUB: I know. Occasionally I like to use humor; it will put people at ease.



BECK: That`s a funny clip. Is there a movie that you can compare this to?

GAFFIGAN: I think that -- you know, I kind of describe it to people as -- they are five New York stories. It`s kind of, you know, Woody Allen in kind of tone and kind of the humor comes out of the awkwardness of the dramatic situation.

And so it`s hard to describe, because it is a drama, it`s an ensemble piece, but there`s so many awkward moments in our everyday life that are kind of unique to, you know, urban lifestyle that provide humor, I think.

BECK: Right. I mean, I hate to sound so "Actor`s Studio" here, but tell me what you were doing on September 11th. You`re from New York?

GAFFIGAN: I`m from New York. I was probably, I would say, about 14 blocks from it. You know, I`m also a comedian, so I stayed up until like 5:00, so I was asleep. And I was awoken by my sister-in-law coming into the apartment, waking us up, saying that this thing -- and I went to the roof and watched the first building go down. So it was...

BECK: Holy cow, 14 blocks away?

GAFFIGAN: Yes, I mean, it`s pretty crazy.

BECK: Oh, my gosh.

GAFFIGAN: And so, you know, as an actor, when, you know -- it`s interesting, because compared to the other movies, as an actor, when these -- you know, the auditions for "Great New Wonderful" came out, it was universally every actor in New York wanted a role in it, and, you know, "Flight 93," when the auditions came out for that, which I`ve heard is an amazing movie...

BECK: Amazing.

GAFFIGAN: ... there were a lot of people that were like, "Oh, I don`t know."

BECK: Jim Gaffigan, if you have never seen Jim Gaffigan, you`ve got to see him. When we were living in Philadelphia, I was just telling him, actually a bunch of us drove up here to New York to see him. He is one of the funniest guys you`ll see, the best comedian, I think, out there right now.

GAFFIGAN: You have fantastic taste.

BECK: No, it`s true.

GAFFIGAN: You really do.

BECK: No, I mean, about my taste, it`s true.


BECK: You, not so much.

GAFFIGAN: I don`t know about the shirt, but I like your taste in comedy.



BECK: All right, time for hate mail, where we cultivate and encourage hatred solely for entertainment. It`s sick, honestly, it is, but, hey, comedy dollars.

Susan from Ontario writes, "An interview is where you ask questions, not answer with your opinions." Not on this show. "I am sure you are very popular somewhere. Listen. You might hear something."

Well, Susan, as a guy who grew up wanting to be a magician, I can assure you I`ve never been popular anywhere. But, yes, I mean, I cut people off too much, I do, and I`m working on that. I`m used to having three hours, you know, where I can run my mouth every single day, and I have way too much ADD to focus on a whole 30 seconds of someone just yap, yap, yap, yap, yap. I mean, let`s get on with it.

I`d continue my answer here, but I`ve lost interest.

Next letter. "Hey, Glenn. Hope you heard over 500,000 Priuses have been sold worldwide. I hope you and your price-gouging oil buddies heard our voices, Terry, Prius Driver."

Look, Terry, you know, I`ve got no problem with the Prius, with the exception of the fact that it looks a little like a space alien from the Planet Geek. But, you know, I have actually looked into buying a hybrid. The next car I buy probably will be one. And if I could find one that would meet my needs today, I`d get one.

With that being said, why has the Prius sold so well lately? Could it be because gas prices are so expensive? If raising gas prices eventually sends millions of people to go out and buy cars that burn half as much gas, why would the companies want to gouge, Terry?

And, you know, Terry, I`m not 100 percent sure on this one, but I don`t think the plural for Prius is Priuses? I believe it`s Prii. But I`m not a linguist; I`m just a thinker.

"Do you ever get e-mail from people with hard-to-pronounce last names from hard cities to pronounce? Paula Czekala from Manitowoc, Wisconsin." Nope, no, never do.

OK, I don`t know if you`ve noticed -- I sure you have -- I can`t pronounce all the names that, you know, a professional should. I mean, I can`t even pronounce the Iranian president`s name, which is President Abujamamadandajabi. I call him President Tom.

Actually, I have a new theory. I`m convinced that the people who book the guests on this show are actually going out of their way trying to book people who just have names that are hard for me to pronounce so I look stupid, like last week we had Ron White on and Fabio? I mean, what`s up with that? You know what I`m saying?