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Glenn Beck
Reality Show Wannabes Eager for Spotlight; Why is Reality TV so Popular?; Life Coaches Fast Growing Profession
Aired June 13, 2006 - 19:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
GLENN BECK, HOST: Are you sick and tired of reality TV? I know I am. I mean, unless you`re not. Then I`m all for it. But that`s a different story.
But here on the Glenn Beck program, if you`re like I am, I give you my word. I am not going to marry any midgets or eat any sheep poo. You know, at least until sweeps.
OK. Not all reality shows are horrible. I actually watch "American Idol". But you know, that program actually rewards what I like to call talent. It`s not a freak show. Well, just remembered Paula Abdul is on the show, so let me rephrase. It`s not entirely a freak show.
My main problem with reality shows is they`re not real at all. In no way do they reflect real people and real situations. The contestants are either wannabe actors who see this as their ticket to fame or has-been D- list celebrities desperately searching for a way to stay in the public eye. And yes, I am talking to you, Peter from "The Brady Bunch".
There is something seriously wrong with our culture when somebody can actually put "ate a cow`s anus on `Fear Factor`" on their resume, man.
You know, all of this got me thinking. I mean, you could make a fortune if you could come up with your own reality shows, and hey, brother, I got the talent to do it.
How about this? "Date My Grandma." Matt`s 18. Gladys is 80. Will they find true love?
Or "Pedophile Island". It`s kind of like "Survivor", only more kid- friendly. Well, actually not kid-friendly. It involves kids.
Or "The Kennedys at Talladega". Kennedys plus whiskey, plus speeding vehicles equals comedy. Watch it tonight.
"Al Qaeda and the City". A young terrorist comes to New York looking for love. Will he follow his heart or blow up a national landmark?
Or my personal favorite, "Race for the Border". This one you have an American that helps a Mexican cross into the country illegally, ala "The Amazing Race." Actually, this one -- I mean, I got to tell you, man, I`m practically Merv fricking Griffin at this point.
We decided to take this one to one of these places where they do casting calls for reality shows here in New York, and you`ll see there`s no freaks involved at all in reality shows, and this show could actually be the next reality hit.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
BECK (voice-over): Most people assume that reality shows are made up of ordinary people, you know, like you and me. Well, actually no, more like you than me.
But the reality of reality is that these shows are the results of a highly methodical almost scientific formula that combines one part yelling, two parts fighting.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What the hell are you doing?
BECK: And the rest simply boils down to casting.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Ladies. Ladies, follow me.
BECK: Casting is so crucial that some networks feel they need not one but two casting geniuses in order to create a hit show.
DEBBIE GANZ, CO-OWNER, TWINS TALENT: I`m Debbie. Excuse me. I`m Debbie.
LISA GANZ, CO-OWNER, TWINS TALENT: And I`m Lisa Ganz.
D. GANZ: We are the Ganz twins.
L. GANZ: The Ganz twins.
D. GANZ: We are the owners of Twins Talent.
L. GANZ: Twins Talent.
D. GANZ: And we cast reality shows for a living.
BECK: Wait a minute. Back it up a second. Are these guys twins? Debbie and Lisa are responsible for casting some of the most ground breaking reality shows in television history, including "Nanny 911" and "Meet My Dad", "Meet My Folks", "The Biggest Loser", "Wife Swap", "Trading Spouses", "Trading Spaces", "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", "Fear Factor" and this one.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, my God.
BECK: When it comes to the reality wannabes who come to their office, Debbie and Lisa are equal opportunity casters.
D. GANZ: We meet little people. We meet 800-pound people. We meet crazy nut jobs.
L. GANZ: But to us...
D. GANZ: To you.
L. GANZ: For what we do, casting is 95 percent of reality shows.
BECK: What they do is enable ordinary people just to be themselves.
L. GANZ: You`re going to sing for us. OK?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE (singing): I heard he had a good song.
BECK: Of course, their job isn`t really easy. They`re constantly having to push the envelope.
D. GANZ: Whether it`s putting, you know, a Hell`s Angel`s person with an Amish person with a Hasidic Jewish person and...
L. GANZ: Those are the character based shows.
BECK: Is no challenge too great for these twin titans of television? We decided to put them to the test and ask them to cast a potential new reality show. For the purposes of this show, we`ll call the show "Race for the Border".
Think "Amazing Race" meets illegal immigration. Lots of fence jumping, swimming, tunnel digging, running through sewer pipes and being chased by border patrol and the vigilante Minutemen.
The winner: the first to cross the Mexican or Canadian border successfully, smuggling their illegal alien counterpart into the U.S. The prize: finally getting on national TV to show that you`ll do anything just for a second of camera time.
OK, time for the open casting call. You know, we`re all pretty excited about the crop of hopefuls that are here to try out. Luckily for us, most of them aren`t strangers to the world of reality programming.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: "Fear Factor", I would love to do it. I actually tried out for it. I told Joe Rogan, I`d kick (expletive deleted) and I`d eat cow (expletive deleted) for 10 grand. I can use the money for a car, you know. I don`t care. It`s all -- it`s about challenging yourself.
BECK: That`s the kind of can-do spirit that`s going to make our show a hit. Of course, it`s going to take a lot more than enthusiasm to win this race. It`s also going to take a lot of intestinal fortitude.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I would just make sure they have a hand of toilet paper on hand just in case or some tooting bags. I don`t want to make a mess and leave my mark in Mexico that way.
BECK: And of course, there is a language barrier to conquer.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: El casa. Del Monte. Hotel Hera (ph) or something like that. I just walk in and say I need to sleep. Where do I (expletive deleted) go?
BECK: Beautiful.
Then there`s Koti.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: "K" to the "O", "T" to the "I".
BECK: Weirder than the last. Koti was actually more interested in the feel-good aspect of smuggling an illegal alien into the U.S.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That would mean a lot to me, knowing that I (expletive deleted) helped someone come into the land of the free, home of the brave.
BECK: Although Koti`s patriotism was clearly contagious, it soon became clear that some of these contestants just couldn`t make the cut.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I`m a hypochondriac. That would worry me. I`d probably starve. I`d probably be dead before I crossed the border.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Swimming long distances, probably not. I would drown.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I would have trouble with geography.
BECK: And shockingly, one person even had the gall to question the ethics behind our can`t-miss TV show.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Smuggling illegal aliens into this country is illegal. And you know, if you want to come into this country, take the route that you`re supposed to take.
BECK: How can this guy get it, but Ted Kennedy not? Listen, Vinny, with an attitude like that, you`re going nowhere fast, brother.
Still, there was no shortage of people willing to do whatever it takes to fulfill their lifelong dream of public humiliation.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That would be fun. That would be funny. It would be funny and sad. But I`d make it funny.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE (singing): Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
BECK: Oh, man. And this, fortunately for us, is their 15 minutes of fame.
The reality TV thing is now officially a staple of American pop culture, and there ain`t nothing you can do about it, Jack. Here to tell us why is Jarett Wieselman. He is the senior editor for "In Touch Weekly" magazine. I`m in touch so you don`t have to be. Right?
Jarett, let me ask you a question. I mean, why are we so into these things? I find myself strangely hypnotized by "American Idol".
JARETT WIESELMAN, SENIOR EDITOR, "IN TOUCH WEEKLY": Absolutely. I mean, first of all, when you pass a car accident on the side of the road, you stop and look. That`s what it is. It`s car accident TV.
You know, you watch these people. Most of them making an ass of themselves, you know, on television, going up there and singing. And I mean, "American Idol" is great because, like you said, it does reward talent, but then you have Simon and Paula and everybody, you know, ripping them to shreds every night.
BECK: Well, no. You know what? On "American Idol", I think -- what`s his name, Simon, is he one of the most honest people in America.
WIESELMAN: Absolutely.
BECK: He`s always -- I mean, he`s just saying it like it is. The other thing is, I mean, you like these people to actually work hard for a dream and then be able to realize it in the end.
The other -- and tell me if you think there`s any credibility to this. I think the other part is -- I mean, this is one of the reasons why -- I mean, I know the pot calling the kettle black. One of the reasons why I hate cable television is I -- it`s so depressing, man. OK. We could be vaporized in 10 minutes. I get it. Don`t you think we kind of just check out by watching some of these shows?
WIESELMAN: Definitely. I think that that`s one of the greatest things, the escapism of it. Getting to watch these other people do these fantastic things, and you sort of experience it second hand.
BECK: Right. Let`s play a little game.
WIESELMAN: All right.
BECK: You tell me -- I made some reality shows up. You tell me what`s real, what`s fake, OK?
WIESELMAN: Bring it.
BECK: "Chubby Chaser". Ten obese people agree to be tagged and tracked by professional trackers with GPS devices. Loved ones monitor their constant behavior while having the ability to remotely zap them should they enter pre-destined no-go zones like, you know, Ben & Jerry`s or something like that. Whomever loses the most weight wins. True or false?
WIESELMAN: I would say false. You know, it`s sort of like "Celebrity Fit Club on the Run".
BECK: Yes. Did you watch "The Biggest Loser"?
WIESELMAN: You know, I have seen parts, but I`m not a devoted watcher.
BECK: Yes, neither am I. I saw part of the first season, and I liked that, too, because -- let me ask you this? Did you see "Unanimous?"
WIESELMAN: I have seen parts of "Unanimous", and I think it`s unanimous that that show kind of sucks.
BECK: It stinks. Absolutely stinks. You know, one of the things is "The Biggest Loser", I mean, it actually has like a happy side to it, you know.
WIESELMAN: Definitely. It`s sort of that "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition", sort of bettering people through hard work and actually doing things, as opposed to liposuction on, you know, FOX.
BECK: Here comes the next one. Tell me if this is real or not? "Convict Island". Twelve convicted felons, six men, six women on a deserted tropical island. Have them compete for $1 million. The prize will be given, you ready, to the victim of the winner`s last crime. True or false?
WIESELMAN: You know, horrifyingly enough, that is true.
BECK: When is that coming on?
WIESELMAN: I mean, hopefully never. That is probably one of the most offensive shows I have ever heard of. You`re exploiting the victim. You`re exploiting all of these situations. And it`s basically like as if the convicts didn`t do enough to these people to begin with.
BECK: I know. Now we can get famous and raise some money to help them out. Jarett, thanks a lot. Appreciate it, man.
WIESELMAN: Thank you.
BECK: You bet, bye-bye.
ANNOUNCER: Coming up on GLENN BECK.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BECK: I was thinking about growing a beard, and then people were, like, no don`t grow a beard. Other people were, like, yes, grow a beard. I don`t know...
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Whether you want to do a beard?
BECK: Yes.
(voice-over) As you can tell, I have serious issues. This is why I need a life coach.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BECK: You know -- you know what`s really truly amazing, is that people really will pay $4 a cup for coffee? Can you imagine our grandparents? Our grandparents would have said what kind of fancy coffee is that? Four dollars? I`ll take -- I remember, you know, my grandfather got a cup of coffee for a quarter.
You know, I will tell you, I have newfound respect for Starbucks. You know, the guy who founded Starbucks, again, I don`t know his political leanings. I don`t really care. I like the way he runs his company. I like the fact that he pays for everybody`s insurance. I think it`s over, like, 20 hours a week if you work there.
There is a company I`m willing to pay $4 a cup for coffee if, you know, I would drink it, and it was like the only coffee place. Only because they take care of their people. Good business practice.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ANNOUNCER: The Glenn Beck program.
BECK: Let me tell you, forget your therapist, get rid of your personal trainers. You ain`t nobody in Hollywood unless you have your very own life coach. Uh-huh.
And according to -- and I`m not making this up -- the International Coach Federation -- sounds official. In the past five years membership has doubled to 9,500 personal and business life coaches. Life coaching today is now considered one of the fastest growing professions in America. We`re doomed.
So that got me thinking. I mean, why not find myself one of these life coaches, take her out for a test drive?
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
BECK (voice-over): For my initial consultation, my life coach, Penelope Bracket, suggested I set aside 30 minutes out of my busy schedule so she could have my undivided attention. Penelope, just 30 minutes? No problem.
BECK (on camera): Just for the love of Pete, do what you know is right.
ANNOUNCER: This is the Glenn Beck program.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What`s the impact of the show? What do you want this -- let`s start with the TV show since that`s -- we don`t have a lot of time and that`s the one coming up. How is that impact different from what you`re doing here on radio?
BECK: OK. Hang on. I got to take -- answer that in a second.
Let`s go to Matt. Hello, Matt. You`re on the Glenn Beck program.
However, everybody else seems to be, and they said is it true -- we can get that up so they can come right in.
OK. Where were we?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We were talking about making the -- making decisions and some of the...
BECK: Yes.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Some structure that foundation that can help you make decisions and one of the things that we talked about was the purpose statement.
BECK: OK, good. Can we -- I got a break, and we can do it again here in just a few minutes. OK, thanks.
I want to know what`s going to happen to the lady -- I`m interested to see now -- 888-27-BECK...
ANNOUNCER: This is the Glenn Beck program.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Are you feeling good? You`re not feeling...
BECK: I`m sick and, you know...
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Amazing. You`re doing really well.
BECK: Thanks.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: How do you do that? Go out and...
BECK: Gosh. Just a second.
(voice-over) Luckily for me Penelope has written a book, a short book, 111 pages. I might someday have time to look at, if it`s ever turned into a movie.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I would say one of the major keys to success is the first one, is the first key that I have in the book and that is to declare a goal.
BECK: Superstar.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Superstar. That`s what you`d like to be, that`s an outcome you want.
BECK: Sure.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Everybody needs work. You know, most clients I talk to them a half hour a week. I could definitely -- I mean, there are definitely things that I could work with that.
BECK: When we adopted Raphe, my son, you know, it was a big deal having three. Kind of get used to three, and now we have four, and I don`t know, it might be too late for me to return him.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes. Yes, probably.
Many, many people, I believe, can have their dreams if they`re really willing to go for them.
BECK: The ideal work day would be for me to come to the office every 10 days, pick up a check, and go home.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Any business is about relationships, but life is also about relationships.
BECK: I get a lot of people there working, and you know, right now we`re kind of...
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Haven`t found anybody who has your voice.
BECK: Yes.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Right.
BECK: We`re kind of...
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Looking.
BECK: Yes. We`ve hired them, but they`re not going to be around.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Right.
You`re helping them visualize what it is they want and move toward it.
BECK: I`m thinking about taking up racket ball.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: If somebody has questions that are just out there, I go, come on. You know that`s not a question that`s important to you.
BECK: I was thinking about growing a beard and then people were, like, no, don`t grow a beard. Other people are, like, yes, grow a beard. I don`t know...
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Whether you want to do a beard.
BECK: Yes.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I have to be aware not to hurt people`s feelings.
BECK: What about mutton chops?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Does coaching enable a narcissist? You know what? I actually find that I help people to be free to use their strengths and gifts to make an impact in the world.
BECK: Do you think this microphone makes me look fat?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Do I think that picture makes you look fat? It has nothing to do with you.
BECK: It`s my fat that makes me look fat.
I have, like, five more minutes. Can we just walk and talk?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Absolutely. I`d love to do that.
BECK: How do you make a decision when you have to know the answer like...
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I think you have to decide.
BECK: The issues that we talk about every day are these huge issues and, you know, I mean, there are times like -- I mean, for an example, like illegal immigration. If you were working for me how do you call up and just say illegal immigration, should I be for it or against it?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I`m not going to be your political guide. I`m not going...
BECK: Hope to see you again.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes.
BECK: Bye-bye. Take care.
Should I get the lobster bisque or the clam chowder?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Trust yourself.
BECK: So the chowder?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Sounds like that`s what you want.
BECK: Or the lobster?
(END VIDEOTAPE)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BECK: I want to tell you something we have coming up later on in the program. I want you to meet Morty Morrison, my 93-year-old driving instructor. I ain`t kidding. We went on a little driving test together, which I think I failed when I, you know, tried to match, you know, my speed to his age. But we`ll show you the whole debacle in just a few minutes.
But first, we have important business to get to in today`s "Quality of Life" market update.
A recent study from the University of Chicago found the top five most sexually satisfied customers on Earth, and coming in at No. 5 is the good old U.S. of A., where 64 percent of us are sexually satisfied, baby.
The only real disturbing part of the study is where the countries rank in the bottom five. In no particular order on the bottom five: Thailand, Indonesia, China, Taiwan, and Japan. That`s sent the Asian sector plummeting today.
I mean, I know you guys are smarter than us and everything. Sure, you beat us, you know, in test scores and table tennis. But wow. The entire bottom five? I mean, Asia, maybe it`s time to cut out the massages for a few hours and just spend some quality time at home.
We now go from unsatisfied Asians to unscrupulous pranksters who have kidnapped a 4-foot-tall Pillsbury Doughboy mascot from its grocery store perch. That`s led to a sizable increase today in the stock price of great practical jokes.
The Doughboy`s abductors have tormented investigators every step of the way by mailing in pictures of the Doughboy in various locations across the northeast back to the store. One employee describes him this way.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He`s 4 foot tall, made of Styrofoam with a little friendly smile.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BECK: Right. But we have obtained a police composite sketch of the Doughboy, just to provide an additional visual aid in the continuing hope that he will be found alive and unharmed.
Now, no one would go on record to confirm that this is an inside job or any way related to the latest bin Laden audio recording, but I think the connection is pretty clear.
Now, on to Florida, where a millionaire developer proved that money certainly cannot buy intelligence. Real estate mogul and self-trained alligator wrestler -- how do you self-train for that -- Ron Bergeron (ph) hosted the winners of a charity auction at his 5,000-acre ranch recently. Part of the prize included a package to see, you know, Ron wrestle a live alligator.
Since this stupid story is making our report, you`ve probably already guessed that things didn`t exactly go according to plan.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RON BERGERON SR., ALLIGATOR WRESTLING MILLIONAIRE: It wrapped its tail around my leg, which is not unusual, but he got into a death roll before I got his mouth under control.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BECK: The gator did bite down on Bergeron`s left hand, crushing a finger and fracturing another, and then dragged him into an underwater death roll. Don`t worry. He`s OK, and so is Bergeron.
And finally, tonight the stock of determination inched higher today after reports that a man in Mumbai had been living in a tree for -- get this -- 50 years.
According to the "Mumbai Mirror", which has a fantastic crossword puzzle, the 83-year-old man first climbed up into a tree after getting into an argument with his wife, who said that they quarreled over a little issue and that`s why he left her.
I mean, let me be frank with you. You`ve got to admire this guy`s conviction. I mean, how many times have you heard somebody say, "I`m not going to come down from this tree." And then they get bored and miss their kids, and then before you know it, they`re climbing down.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CALLER: I wanted to call in and talk to you about "Flight 93."
BECK: Yes, "United 93".
CALLER: Oh, "United 93".
BECK: Yes.
CALLER: I just have the hardest time -- like, I was sick the whole thing, just because the way the movie was made. Like, I had a hard time even getting emotional with the whole thing. I feel bad, because I thought it was a good movie, but like I was sick to my stomach the whole thing just because I thought I was going to throw up just from motion sickness.
BECK: You know, I`ve never heard about this movie. I`m sorry that that`s the way you experienced it because it`s such a powerful movie.
You know, it`s really strange. I don`t even notice that stuff. I don`t notice -- I did in "The Blair Witch Project," because I don`t even think that was a steadicam. That was like a Handycam, you know what I mean? But I`m sorry that you experienced it that way. For me, it added a little bit more realism to it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BECK: Really, if you haven`t seen that movie, Flight 93, see it. It`s important that everybody sees it.
Over the next 25 years, the number of Americans over 65 expected to double, and most of these senior citizens will be driving. Scary? You bet. You know, they might not be able to see over the steering wheel, but trust me, I used to live in Florida, oh, yes, they will be driving.
Recent studies have shown that elderly drivers are more likely to misjudge or not see oncoming traffic while making a left turn. They get confused with the on and off ramps, fail to notice or react to changes, such as a street being blocked, you know, that`s normally open. I mean, that stuff happens to me.
There`s actually a movement afoot to make mandatory re-testing of the elderly, you know, mandatory. To get a better perspective of this issue, you know, I wanted to talk to a really, really, really old person, but Morley Safer wasn`t available. So what I found was, honestly, like hitting the Lotto man. I found a 93-year-old driving instructor.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
BECK (voice-over): Arriving at Morty`s house, I didn`t know what to expect. Ninety-three-years-old, I mean, that`s so old he was probably 70 when my denim jacket was last in style.
(on camera): Mr. Morrison, how are you, sir?
MORTY MORRISON, 93-YEAR-OLD DRIVING INSTRUCTOR: Hello.
BECK: Nice to meet you. Good to meet you. Are you ready?
MORRISON: Sure.
BECK: All right. Let`s go.
Ninety three years old.
MORRISON: Next week, 94.
BECK: I got to buckle up here, Morty. A little safety. How important is it to stay focused?
MORRISON: That`s your major purpose. This is not a joyride. When you`re driving, you have to keep your mind on the driving. There are too many distractions, whether it`s a cell phone, or your cassette that you`re changing, or the lady who`s breastfeeding a child, or the man who`s shaving, or drinking coffee.
BECK: Hang on just a second. Hey. Hi, sweetie. I`m sorry, I lost my train of thought. What were you saying?
MORRISON: People are not aware of what they should be doing when they drive. They`re not aware that advancing age impairs their ability, their reflexes.
BECK: Should they test you again? Do you have to know everything about how many feet from a fire hydrant? Because I couldn`t tell any of that.
MORRISON: Oh, no, no. They should check my hearing. They should check my eyesight. They should check my physical condition.
BECK: Do you drive?
MORRISON: Are you kidding? Of the people I know, I`m the only one I would trust to drive at 90.
(LAUGHTER)
BECK: I think I`m completely lost.
MORRISON: Right turn.
BECK: Turn here? You remember taking your first driver`s test? What was the name of the horse?
(LAUGHTER)
Do you still have to learn hand signals?
MORRISON: No.
BECK: No? When did that go out? I remember I had to learn hand signals.
MORRISON: It was this and this. Now they give you a finger.
(LAUGHTER)
BECK: Yes, now they give you just one.
MORRISON: They don`t give you a hand signal.
BECK: Oh, that`s a hand signal.
(LAUGHTER)
What do you think of multitasking in the car? Have you ever seen the TV show "24"?
MORRISON: No.
BECK: It`s full of action. I like to watch it, because, you know, it`s like an edge of the seat...
MORRISON: While you`re driving?
BECK: Yes. Bad idea?
MORRISON: Why?
BECK: Radio is totally cool, isn`t it?
MORRISON: It`s a distraction.
BECK: No, no, listen to the question carefully. Radio -- remember, I`m on radio -- radio, totally cool.
MORRISON: Cool?
BECK: Right.
MORRISON: In what way?
BECK: Totally fine.
MORRISON: I don`t care for it.
BECK: No?
MORRISON: I don`t need the entertainment.
BECK: No, no, I think you`re misunderstanding me. Remember we talked? I`m on the radio?
MORRISON: You know where you`re going?
BECK: No, I have no idea. What are your tips for staying young?
MORRISON: Good diet, stay away from fast foods. I mean it. Eat wholesome.
BECK: I don`t believe Taco Bell is actually considered fast.
MORRISON: Be interested in everything. I`m interested in any subject. I don`t think people will live on Mars. We could change to the metric system, because I think it`s very practical. I`m not crazy about any instant coffee because the resemblance to real coffee is accidental.
When I was a kid and I had a cold, my mother gave me a dried raspberry tea. My mother loved wrestling. I didn`t. We didn`t have milkshakes; we had malteds. I`d like a good New York corned beef sandwich.
BECK: Do you think you`ll be driving until the day you die?
MORRISON: The reason I renewed my driving license for six years is I want to see if they`ll give me a new license when I`m 100 years old.
BECK: We`re going with you to the driver`s license bureau when you go.
MORRISON: Good. All right.
BECK: When you`re 100, we`ll take you.
MORRISON: I keep telling people...
BECK: If you`re not too afraid of driving with me, we`ll go.
MORRISON: ... we`re going to have -- we`re going to have a real celebration on that day. You`re still blinking a left turn.
BECK: Oh, sorry.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
BECK: And, you know, while I`m not necessarily afraid of a rising army of seniors out there driving me into a ditch, Morty actually was. I mean, he -- the reason why we found him is he wrote a letter to the editor in the paper and said, "Hey, there should be testing here."
To help us stay in the fast lane is Tony Scotti. He`s the author of "Driving Techniques for the Professional and Non-Professional."
Hi. How are you, sir? Good to see you, sir.
TONY SCOTTI, AUTHOR, "DRIVING TECHNIQUES": How are you doing, Glenn? How are you doing, Glenn?
BECK: Good, good, good. Very good. Morty is on the road at 93 years old and, honestly, you should be more afraid of me on the road than Morty.
SCOTTI: I would agree with that.
BECK: But he had his license renewed for six years. Nobody checked to see if he had even a pulse. I mean, isn`t that asking for trouble?
SCOTTI: Yes, it is. You should check eyesight. You should check hearing. Once you get beyond 50 years old, you start to lose peripheral vision. All those things need to be checked.
BECK: Let me ask you this. I don`t know if you`re an expert or if you can even answer this question. My grandfather, towards the end of his life, drove through the front of a Sambo`s in his truck, and we had a hard time getting the keys from him. I mean, how do you do that? I mean, how do you say, you know, "You shouldn`t be driving anymore"?
SCOTTI: I think for the family that`s pretty hard. I think the states, each individual state, has to take a look at people driving at that age, but as a family you should just try to get together and convince the individual that they`re not only a danger to themselves, but they`re a danger to everybody else around them. What you don`t want to do is get in the car with them.
BECK: Yes, see, I have that problem, because my father, he just -- I just bought my dad a car. He`s never had a new car in his life. We, you know, grew up working-class people. And I just bought him a new car, and he was all excited. His car had broken down, got it for him.
Then I realized, "What am I doing? My dad`s 80." On the flip side, I`ve got a teenage daughter. She`s 18. I don`t want to get in the car with either one of them. Which one`s more dangerous, the elderly or teenagers?
SCOTTI: The statistics say that the teenagers are. The teenagers are the age group that has the highest fatalities, and right behind them are 70-plus-year-olds, have the second highest fatalities.
BECK: OK, accidents.
SCOTTI: So I would be nervous about either one.
BECK: Yes, I ain`t getting in the car with either. Accidents happen, but, I mean, besides, you know, from staying sober, which for many years was tough for me, or, you know, staying awake, which is currently tough for me, how do you recognize potential accident situations?
SCOTTI: Well, it`s actually driving is a state of mind. One of the things that you need to do is to pay attention to driving. And I`ve got to say, Glenn, that I noticed that, during the piece that I just saw with you and Morty, you seemed to be spending more time watching Morty than you did driving.
BECK: Yes, well, comedy...
SCOTTI: And so you need to be aware.
BECK: Yes, comedy has its price, my friend, and if that`s a Mack truck hitting you, it`s a Mack truck.
(LAUGHTER)
Thanks a lot. I so appreciate it. Can you leave us with one quick driving tip?
SCOTTI: Yes. I think the statistic they`re showing right about now is don`t drive talking on a cell phone. In many states it`s against the law, but you see a lot of people doing it. Just don`t drive while talking on a cell phone.
BECK: You got it. Thanks, Tony. Appreciate it.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BECK: Hey, here`s a fun fact for you. There are now more than 12 million illegal aliens living right now here in the United States. At least half of these people have crossed the border from Mexico. That`s 12 million people, some of them not paying taxes, working and living right here under the radar.
And the thing that really hacks me off is when you see pictures like these, man, immigrants out in the street protesting or boycotting whatever to have the same rights as legal immigrants.
Don`t get me wrong. I think there`s nothing more American than a peaceful protest, and I celebrate the fact that America was built with hard-working, legal immigrants.
But the bottom line here is these people want to cut corners, man. They want to jump ahead of the line, a line full of people waiting to become U.S. citizens the right way, the legal way.
I want to show you an example of how it`s really done. It`s in a segment tonight we like to call "The Real America." I want you to meet a guy named Manuel. He`s a Mexican immigrant who came to this country legally and impacted America in a way, honestly, I think is going to surprise you.
The story starts way down south in the heart of honky-tonk.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
BECK (voice-over): Welcome to Nashville, Tennessee, Music Town, USA. It`s a place where country music happens, sometimes spontaneously. When you`re here, you get the feeling real quick that this is a place of inspiration, not just for musicians, but also for this man: Manuel Cuevas.
It`s here in the heart of honky-tonk that Manuel has set up his legendary shop.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Everyone who wants to be in country music whatsoever wants to have a Manuel suit.
BECK: And that`s because this guy is a legend. He`s the man who put Johnny Cash in black, Elvis in the rhinestone-studded jumpsuit, and -- believe it or not -- designed the Rolling Stones logo.
MANUEL CUEVAS, DESIGNER: I have been able to create great friendships with most of the stars.
BECK: You may not know him, but you surely know his work. Designing for John Travolta, Sylvester Stallone, and even the suits the Beatles wore on the Sergeant Pepper album.
But Manuel`s story goes much deeper than just the clothes. This king of cowboy couture is also a Mexican immigrant who came to the United States in the early `50s.
CUEVAS: I crossed the border -- of course, well-documented and all that -- and the next day, I was working for $1 an hour.
BECK: He wound up in Los Angeles working for a local tailor. He says it wasn`t so easy to adjust to so much change so quickly.
CUEVAS: It was quite a change as far as that was, but I didn`t care. I was here to chase a dream that I had many years back.
BECK: Manuel knew the United States was the best place to realize that dream.
CUEVAS: I am going to do what I was called to do. And this is -- I love the cloth, and I have a passion for it.
BECK: He was so skilled at what he did, it took no time before he was working for a top designer, fitting some of the biggest names at the time.
CUEVAS: Six, seven months, and I was already, like, on top of the game, doing fittings for Frank Sinatra to Jerry Lewis.
BECK: It was also a time of inspiration. What he saw in those first years in the U.S. are reflected in his clothing.
CUEVAS: I discovered embroidery. I discovered real flamboyant things.
BECK: Manuel`s signature: bold colors and embroidered roses. Designs you see on celebrities he`s dressed from Elton John to Dolly Parton were inspired -- believe it or not -- the first time he ever saw the Rose Bowl parade.
CUEVAS: And when I saw that, I said, "This is the way I want to go."
BECK: His success over the last 50 some-odd years is evident. Top musicians roam in and out of his shop like casual friends.
KIX BROOKS, MUSICIAN: I really like the way those buttons work on that...
BECK: Even while we were there filming, Kix Brooks from the mega- country band Brooks and Dunn stopped in for a chat.
BROOKS: Just one of a kind. I mean, all you have to do is say his name. And he didn`t get that icon status by not having serious artwork here.
BECK: Serious artwork and series craft.
Look around his shop. It`s like you`re getting a peak back into time, old-timey, well-loved machines, irons that can`t be from this century, and everything, everything done by hand. Manuel says he owes his success to luck and a lot of hard work.
CUEVAS: I think that this is really the land of opportunity.
BECK: And he`s all too aware of the heated debate that`s dividing our nation.
CUEVAS: Illegal is illegal everywhere, whatever. Anybody that jumps over my fence is illegal.
BECK: He thinks part of the problem is that Americans aren`t willing to take low-paying jobs.
CUEVAS: Nobody wants to work for minimum wage and these people create that need. And then that need creates the availability of illegals that come from so many countries.
BECK: And it`s out of his own gratitude that Manuel decided to give something back to America the best way he knew how.
CUEVAS: I came out with the idea that I would make a jacket for each state of the country and just give it to the museum.
BECK: The jackets are a testament to Manuel`s craftsmanship and to his love of this country.
CUEVAS: I know about the greatness of this country, and I know that we are all in it together.
BECK: At 74 years old, Manuel has lived a rich and full life, built a business from the ground up, and created some of the biggest icons in American culture. Now, the establishment that is Manuel continues to evolve, with the fresh blood and ideas of his son, Manny, Jr.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We`re taking his 50 years of his hard work and success, and we`re putting a big twist on it.
BECK: Together, they`ll continue to build their thriving business based on the ideals of a real American.
CUEVAS: I want to, you know, leave a good legacy for them. I want them to know that, if you don`t work at it, you don`t get it. Anybody with a dream can turn realities.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
BECK: I mean, that is just great, man. Great guy, great clothes. And, by the way, pretty soon you`re not going to have to be a celebrity to wear them. Manuel and his son are now at work on a ready-to-wear line for the rest of us, I mean, well, maybe you. I look pretty ridiculous in country western clothes, no matter who made them.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BECK: Let`s get the week fired up just with a little bit of hate. I mean, that`s the way to start the week, isn`t it?
Claudia writes in, "Hey, Beck, I have four points on illegal immigration that piss me off after hearing about the big Canadian terror bust. Claudia, Manhattan."
All right, Claudia, let`s take your hate one by one. Point one: "The TV media, including you, talks only about the Mexican border. You never hear about the concern regarding the Canadian border."
Well, for all of you television newbies, I`ve said over and over again on the radio show that securing our borders means securing all of our borders. Only the people who follow the rules should enter our country, period.
Obviously, the Mexican border has been in the news lately so we`ve been talking about it. There also isn`t a huge influx of Canadians clamoring to get into the U.S. The fact is that as much as 10 percent of Mexican`s population is already here illegally. It makes it far more visible and a pressing problem.
Point number two: "How many terrorists have been caught trying to cross the Mexican border? Oh, that`s right. None." Well, Claudia, great point here. There was one high-profile terrorist caught trying to cross the border. It was the Canadian border. You remember the Millennium bomber? He was caught trying to blow up LAX on New Year`s Eve.
In more ways than one, I`m more suspicious of anyone trying to illegally cross into the U.S. from Canada because they don`t have the obvious economic motivation. People worried about security need to remember that terror can come from the north just as easily as from the south.
Point number three: "Although security is the reason everybody cites for keeping such a close eye on the Mexican border, the other reason is race. I don`t routinely pull out the race card, but the case is undeniable. Otherwise, we`d hear more about the Canadian border from the Lou Dobbs and the Glenn Becks of the TV world."
Well, I`m going to let Mr. Dobbs speak for himself, but as for race being a factor, it is deniable. In fact, I deny it. There it is; it`s denied. I don`t want illegal Canadians crossing the border. I don`t want illegal Swedes crossing the border. I don`t want illegal emperor penguins from "The March of the Penguins" waddling here all the way from Antarctica unless they have the proper paperwork. Then I`ll put them in the zoo.
It`s not about the color of the skin; it`s about the content of your visa.
Number four: "I hate Glenn Beck." Well, I mean, a lot of people do. Look, Claudia, let me ask you: Do you know how many people are going to write just because of the color of my socks? I mean, come on. If I`m man enough to wear them, I`m man enough to hear your hate mail.
Write me at GlennBeck@CNN.com.
END
