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Glenn Beck

Democratic Leadership Already Squabbling; O.J. Writes Incendiary Book

Aired November 16, 2006 - 19:00   ET


GLENN BECK, HOST: Tonight, the Democrats and in-fighting. Can`t we all just get along?
And by the way, the ROTC, been outed in San Francisco high schools.

And the one and only Richard Simmons. It`s a flamboyant night tonight, next.


ANNOUNCER: Tonight`s GLENN BECK is brought to you by Smackdown 2006: The Democrats. It`s a battle between John Murtha, Nancy Pelosi and Howard Dean with no holds barred. Don`t miss it. We`ll sell you the whole seat, but you`ll only need the edge.


BECK: We`ve got a great show for you tonight. Hang onto your seats, because we`re going to O.J. Simpson here in a second.

But first let`s start in Washington. And kind of -- I don`t know if it will ever get clean after this, but Senator John McCain announced that he has just established a committee to formally explore a campaign for president in 2008.

Now he`s made a couple of major speeches, laying out the vision for the future of the Republican Party, and that`s all well and good. Before everybody gets all worked up about 2008, can we please for a second look at the fallout from the elections that just happened last week?

Here is the point tonight. I told you before the Democrats, when they took Congress, they would be clueless on how to govern. Because they`re a rudderless ship, they`re in search of a course more than even the Republicans, and that`s saying something, brother.

I told you that they would cannibalize each other and implode, and the first signs of implosion are already here. Here`s now I got there.

As you know, I tell you every night, I`m a conservative. OK? But I`m not somebody who wants to destroy the other party. I just want whoever is in power to actually get something done and do what`s right. When most Americans went to the polls last week, they listed corruption and ethics as their most important issue.

Well, sorry, America. The new majority party seems to be just as tainted by the same charges of corruption that you voted against. And the squabbling and in-fighting has already begun.

It has been eight days since the Democratic revolution, and now James Carville is calling for Howard Dean`s head. Carville says the Democrats should dump Howard Dean as the chairman of the Democratic Party because of incompetence. Wait a minute, didn`t they win?

He says the Democrats would have picked up 50 seats instead of 30. And the reason is, Howard Dean didn`t spend some $6 million it could have and put it into their so-called third tier House races against vulnerable Republicans.

So the Democrats are so incompetent, as I see it, they can`t even celebrate properly.

On Iraq, the Democrats cannot come up with an answer on this one. They never had an answer. Senator Carl Levin, the incoming chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee, said that we should start taking our troops back from Iraq in four to six months. Great.

But unfortunately, his boss, soon to be Senate majority leader, Harry Reid, says no, no, no, that timetable, no, that`s too fast. Well, which is it, guys? Stay the course or phase three deployment?

You know what? I hate to be such a hate monger, but maybe you should have made up your mind before the election. I`m just saying.

Finally, Nancy Pelosi`s right-hand man in the House will be Maryland congressman Steny Hoyer. But the guy Pelosi really wanted for the job was John Murtha. I love him. This is a battle for the party`s soul. Will they be the party of Joe Lieberman, or will they be the party of Alec Baldwin?

Pelosi`s pick for the job, John Murtha, reportedly used his seats on the appropriations committee to obtain $121 million in earmarks, also known as pork bills. Now this is during the current session of Congress. That made him one of the top earmarkers in Congress. Yes!

Oh, oh, and he also reportedly was an unindicted co-conspirator in the Abscam scandal. Oops. That was back in the 1970s. You`ll have to check the little videotape on that one to decide for yourself. I can go on and on and on.

But it should be crystal clear to everybody that the election has changed absolutely nothing in Washington. The politicians have just switched seats, which leads me to what I know tonight.

I know that you can`t vote for change alone. That`s right, dummies. You have to know what the specific changes are that you`re voting for or we`re all going to get screwed.

All we did last Tuesday was replace ours with these: corruption, ethic, pork bills, side deals. Oh, nothing is going to change any time soon.

Here`s what I don`t know: will things actually get worse? Jonathan Martin, he`s from "The National Review".

Jonathan, how messy are things going to get for the Democrats in the next two years?

JONATHAN MARTIN, "THE NATIONAL REVIEW": Well, Glenn, it`s a wet and rainy day here in Washington, and it`s a wet and rainy day today for Nancy Pelosi and the new Democratic leadership in Congress.

They -- they have come out of the gates with a great few days of press. And that`s going to come to a screeching halt tomorrow, because Nancy Pelosi`s choice, as you mentioned, for leader fell today and he fell badly. Glenn, it wasn`t even close. It was 149-86.

BECK: Yes.

MARTIN: They chose Hoyer. So, clearly, this is a statement from the Democratic Caucus that they are not going to be blindly led by Pelosi, and are going to make up their minds on some of these critical issues, right out of the gate choosing their leader.

BECK: OK. Now I just framed this in the monologue as a bad thing.


BECK: Because they`re just -- I really think it`s -- we now have three parties in Congress, maybe even four parties in Congress. They`re all disagreeing with each other.


BECK: So I frame this as a bad thing. But actually, this could really be a good thing, a good sign that those -- those Liebermans, those blue dog Democrats, those conservative Democrats are actually saying, you know what, liberal yahoos? Back off.

MARTIN: Well, Glenn, it`s notable that today during that election, one of the new members, the freshman you mentioned, who is more of a blue dog, Brad Ellsworth from Indiana, actually gave one of the nominating speeches for Hoyer. Which for a freshman member is a pretty bold move to get up there and to stand up and speak against your speaker`s chosen pick for majority leader.

So right out of the gate, some of these Democrats are showing independence, and they realize that they`re going to have to hew to a moderate course to be elected in two years.

BECK: OK. Now, if the Republicans win, if the Republicans had somebody in the House that ran a tight a ship as Nancy runs hers, you know, he was the evil hate mongering Tom DeLay. But the sunshine and lollipop ship of Nancy Pelosi set sail. What are these guys in for with someone who is as ruthless as Nancy Pelosi and who demands party line votes?

MARTIN: Well, she is a very, very tough lady. She`s a very shrewd inside player. Somebody said that she is San Francisco on the outside and Baltimore on the inside, of course, a native of Baltimore and her father was a longtime machine Democrat mayor there in Baltimore. Look, she is somebody who will demand party allegiance, who is going to enforce party allegiance.

Her challenge, Glenn, though, is going to be what happens in these committees? She will have complete control over what happens on the floor of the House, but her real challenge is going to be all of those old bulls who are running those committees who have been in Congress for decades.

BECK: So how does -- how does Alec Baldwin feel? For instance,, they spent a lot of money and a lot of time. They want blood. You know what? They want people pulled out of Iraq, and they want Bush`s blood.

MARTIN: They`ve been waiting 12 years for this.

BECK: Exactly right. So how does a party rule when you`re not going to appease the people who feel that they have -- are the ones that put you in power when, really, they`re not?

MARTIN: And it`s for that reason, Glenn, that a lot of Republicans now are actually feeling pretty good. Because the burden now, the governing burden is now on Democrats and it`s incumbent upon Nancy Pelosi to keep her caucus in line and to appeal to the base of her party, the MoveOn folks, Baldwin folks that you mentioned, as well as the broad swamp of mainstream America.

She wants to keep her speakership beyond just two years. So she has a challenge in front of her to keep her folks on the left happy but also stick close enough to the middle, where there`s not going to be a rejection two years from now of her leadership.

BECK: That is going to be really difficult. One last thing, I`m reading the -- I`m reading the mess that is John Murtha, the scam and everything I saw, article in "The Wall Street Journal" and today in "The Post".

And you see these things and you think, somebody -- and maybe even Nancy Pelosi has got to be saying, whew, the last thing we need is that guy...

MARTIN: That`s the silver lining, Glenn.

BECK: It is. Isn`t it?

MARTIN: It was the silver lining for her. Obviously she took a huge hit today, but the silver lining is that we`re not going to see that Abscam video, that grainy Abscam video for the next two years over and over again. So she`ll be grateful for that at least.

BECK: Great. Thank you, Jonathan, I appreciate it. From "National Review."

Coming up, O.J. Simpson`s on-air confession. Did he admit to murder, or is this a stunt to sell his tell-all, kill-all book? That`s next.

And San Francisco high schools ban junior ROTC -- that`s what`s going to make blood shoot out of my eyes -- over the don`t ask/don`t tell thing. I will tell you why it`s a mistake and a lie on tonight`s "Real Story".

Plus, the one and only Richard Simmons is on a mission to end child obesity in America. He stops by to tell me about the problem and the solution.



BECK: I do want to talk about O.J. Simpson and his -- and his new book, which is -- I love this. Well, let`s just -- let`s just -- I mean let`s lay our cards, you know, on the table here.

First of all, you know, the O.J. Simpson book, it`s the reverse of the James Frey book. Remember the James Frey book, the book that was supposed to be true and ended up being false? The O.J. book is just the opposite of that. It`s supposed to be false, and it`s going to end up being true.


BECK: True.

For all of those who thought that O.J. Simpson was wrongly prosecuted for double murder, and I`m saying this with a straight face. It`s very difficult, and I`m with you. He was a victim of a conspiracy between dirty cops and a racist judicial system. Yes, right.

He`s proving you wrong and laughable all the way to the bank today. In a two-part TV interview, a new book titled, "If I Did It", O.J. spells out in chapter and verse how he "hypothetically" killed his ex-wife and her friend, Ron Goldman. It`s despicable.

Besides being a potent cocktail of shameless greed and pure evil, this may be the most -- you know, I`m sorry, I take that back. That`s an insult to evil. This may be the most brazen flaunting of guilt in recent history.

Judith Regan, she is publishing the book, and while I can`t imagine the justification -- cha-ching -- of giving O.J. Simpson anything more than a slow, painful death, she`s paying him purportedly in excess of $3.5 million and has said, "This is an historic case. I consider this his confession."

What does this dark twist mean for the victims, the victims` families and the future of crime-for-profit? Let`s check in with John Kelly. Now, he`s a former lawyer for Nicole Brown Simpson`s family.

John, how are we living in a country that -- where something like this can happen?

JOHN Q. KELLY, FORMER ATTORNEY FOR NICOLE BROWN SIMPSON FAMILY: Well, he`s a one-of-a-kind person. I mean, this is something that got away with double homicide. He`s almost a natural born killer, and now he`s actually making a mockery of the fact that he murdered the mother of his children.

It`s just -- there`s no way to -- I guess there`s no way to stoop lower than butchering two people in cold blood, but he`s -- he`s found a way to come close to it.

BECK: And you know what, I said on the radio today, this guy never ceases to shock and amaze me. When you just think, "Wow, that`s as low as you can go," he does it again.

I mean, this is like Michael Jackson writing a book, you know, "I didn`t molest children, but if I did, here`s where I would have touched them."

This is shocking and horrifying. Have you been in touch with the families?

KELLY: We trade phone calls. I talk to them on a regular basis. And I -- I can tell you definitively that the thing that will be most upsetting to Lou and Judy, the grandparents, is the impact this is going to have on the children. I mean, it`s just -- it`s going to be devastating. It`s going to be indelibly, you know, marked in their minds.

You know, you try to hang around with your peers. You try to put together some normalcy in your life, and all you`re going to have is your father out there mugging, laughing and creating his own warped universe that he`s the center of, talking about these murders.

BECK: Horrible. You know, I`m a divorced man, and there`s nothing I wanted more than to have my children live with me. And you know, for me to do that in today`s world, I would have had to have gone to court and tried to prove that my ex-wife was -- you know, my ex-wife was an unworthy mother, which she isn`t by any stretch of the imagination.

But even if she was, I wouldn`t have been on record saying those things, because what it would have done to the kids. My gosh, how scarred are these children?

KELLY: Glenn, you`ve got to remember that the night these murders occurred, this is the man who was hiding in the bushes outside the apartment and was ready to, you know, butcher his wife and leave her there for the children to wake up the next morning and find her.

You know, Ron Goldman interceded. He ended up butchering both of them and leaving them there. And unfortunately, a neighbor and the police came before the children woke up. Otherwise she would have been left dead, butchered inside the house for his two small children to find.

BECK: Three and a half million dollars. How does this guy keep it? He`s going to, isn`t he?

KELLY: I don`t know if he`s ever going to touch it. I`m sure he gave a lot of thought. This is one of the more, you know, calculating, scheming individuals.

And I`m sure his first thoughts were how to keep the money from the families. I`m sure he consulted with attorneys and accountants and worked it out with Judith Regan and financial players, what he could do to, you know, financially profit and this and that and not let anybody touch the money.

BECK: I don`t mean to be irresponsible. I don`t mean to be a flippant on this, but I got to tell you, if somebody killed my daughter, cut her head off and acted like this, it would take an act of God -- and maybe that`s the answer -- an act of God to not hunt this guy down.

KELLY: You know, Glenn, I think that`s the reaction he wants from some people. I mean, this -- I really don`t think this is about the money.

BECK: I`m asking -- what I`m specifically asking is, you know her parents. How does Dad deal with this guy? How does he -- how does he sleep? How is he not the most angry, twisted, bitter man in the world? Is it God? What is it?

KELLY: It`s the two children. I mean, they have to go on with their lives for these two children. That`s always been their position that, you know, they obviously don`t have a father that they can look up to or respect, and the grandparents worry about the children`s welfare.

And their whole life, Lou and Judy, was taking care of these two children, making sure they were safe. They fought for custody. When they didn`t get custody, they made sure they had liberal visitation, took care of them during the summers and holidays and things like that. And that`s what`s kept them going.

BECK: John, I`ve only got 30 seconds.

KELLY: Sure.

BECK: He`s never going to go to jail for anything, is he? There`s no way to get him on this, is there?

KELLY: No. And you know, you`d think he`d be living in his own little help but he`s not. He`s happy with this situation. He loves to stir the pot.

BECK: Great. John, thanks.

You know, you can knock O.J. Simpson for a lot of things. But you got to give him credit. You know, at least, you know, a little credit at being a good capitalist.

On the other hand, if you thought his new book reeked of desperation, get a load of this.


ANNOUNCER: Looking for a one of a kind holiday gift? Why not surprise the loved one with a customized answering machine greeting from none other than legendary NFL running back O.J. Simpson.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, there, this is O.J. Yes, O.J. Simpson. The one and only. No one is available to take your call. So please leave a message. And oh, by the way, I didn`t kill Nicole. But if I did, one way I might have killed her is with a telephone like the one you`re holding in your hand and I`d smash it against her head a few times and then maybe strangle her with the cord. Have a great day.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, guys, it`s Pete. Everything OK over there? Call me back if you`re not dead.



BECK: Last night our special on radical Islam called "Exposed: The Extremist Agenda", it aired, and we have already received tons of feedback. The reaction has ranged from general shock to genuine anger by people who feel like they should have seen this video before. That, quite honestly, is exactly the response we were hoping for.

But one of my favorite part of last night`s show actually had nothing to do with exposing propaganda or threats. It was when we exposed the voice of Dr. Aslam Abdullah (ph). He is an American Muslim who had refreshingly harsh things to say about those who claim to be reacting in the name of his religion.

But I did disagree with Dr. Abdullah`s answer to the question of whether America may see the same kind of violence and riots that some parts of Europe have. Here`s his answer from last night.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No way. I mean, America is far more -- democracy is a far better democratic structure than any other places where you see all of those kind of things. Here people have that kind of opportunity to express their ideas in a civil manner without being part of that.


BECK: Boy, I wish he were right, but I fear he`s not. Democracy or not, militant Islam is everywhere, including right here in the U.S.

I want you to take a look at a video of a group called the Islamic Thinker Society. They are based right here in New York City.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: See this flag here? It`s going to go on the floor. And to us, our loyalty does not belong to this flag. Our loyalty belongs to Allah Zubaya Afala (ph). Allah Akbar! Allah Akbar!


BECK: Yesterday on my radio program, I interviewed Mohammed. That`s not his original name. He is a New York City resident and a, by birth, American. Proud member of that group.

He started by telling me that they only exist to promote peace on earth.


BECK: When you`re chanting the mushroom cloud and the real Holocaust is coming, explain that, that peace on earth thing. Help me do the math on that.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You would have to go into a long discussion on the history of Israel in and of itself.

BECK: I have got the history of Israel.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You`ve got the wrong and incorrect history of Israel, unfortunately.

BECK: I`m sure I do. What I`m looking at is the correlation of peace on earth to the mushroom cloud.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, I would say that one of the primary causes of dysfunction in there right now is Israel. The best thing that can probably happen for the world in general is for Israel to go away and to not exist at all.

BECK: Is that why there is an Islamic flag over the White House?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The reason that there`s an Islamic flag over the White House is because the solution for America`s ills and afflictions is the Sharia of Islam.

BECK: Sharia law?


BECK: Oh, Sharia law is fun. That`s good stuff. That`s what the Taliban has.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The answer for all humanity.

BECK: Right.


BECK: Unbelievable. If you`re somebody who thinks that this country is immune to Islamic radicals or they`ll never rise against our government, think again. They`ve been doing it in Europe.

And I beg you to listen to the full interview that I did with Mohammed, an American citizen. I`ve made it absolutely free at, and it is chilling.

Also because of the e-mail we have received from people who missed it, we`re reairing our exposed special this Sunday night at 7 and 9 Eastern. Please don`t miss it.

And tomorrow night, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu will be with us for the full hour.


BECK: All right. Welcome to "The Real Story." This is where we try to cut through the media spin and figure out why a story is actually important to you.

Now, I know the election`s over, and it`s quite clear that the Democrats are firmly in control of the House and the Senate. By now, that`s an old story, but here`s the real story behind their triumphant return to the majority. It had nothing to do with the quality of their candidates or the auspicious Democratic agenda. Stay with me. This isn`t sour grapes. I`ve actually got 150 years worth of evidence to prove it.

Well before the election, a research paper was written by Colleen Shogan. She is an assistant professor of government and politics at George Mason University. She found that there is a undeniable pattern of ill- fated events that unfold during a president`s sixth consecutive year in the White House that results in the president`s party losing seats in the midterm election.

Professor Shogan calls it the "six-year curse," and it has plagued every president, Republican and Democrat alike, since Ulysses S. Grant. Here are the major components of the "curse": scandals, weakened political coalitions, and midterm electoral defeat.

I`d say it`s pretty safe to say the Bush administration has had their fair share of gaffes and blunders. Uncontrolled illegal immigration, perceived corruption, and an increasingly unpopular war in Iraq are all just really the tips of the iceberg.

Now, as for weakened political coalitions, this is a no-brainer. As I`ve been telling you, the mistake the Republicans made this year, it wasn`t that they went too far right but too far to the left. They overspent, and they were way too soft on border security.

The Democrats saw an opening and brilliantly inched over to the right and beat the Republicans with their own conservative platform locally. The president`s party forgot who it was. I`d call that a weakened coalition, wouldn`t you?

As for the third part of the curse, the huge midterm losses? Yes, kind of know how that one played out.

So, Democrats, before you all get hoarse singing "Happy Days are Here Again," remember, over the last century and a half, these political cycles have been playing themselves out and will continue to do so. So enjoy your time there while it lasts, and be sure to send the Republicans a thank-you note, because, whether you like it or not, the election was more their loss than Howard Dean`s win.

Now, speaking of losers -- and this is a big one -- Mr. Britney Spears, also known as Kevin Federline. And I like to call him K-Fed myself. He has been given his walking papers. While we were all squandering our time electing those men and women who will govern our nation, Britney Spears was making real news by filing for divorce from K- Fed.

I don`t know about you, but when I first heard this, I was shocked. Now, I would hate to be considered cynical for throwing a love of their caliber under the bus. You know, it`s not that I`m saying that Britney Spears is Princess Grace or anything, but look at the yutz she married.

Last week, he spoke to CNN`s "SHOWBIZ TONIGHT" and had this to say about his beloved.


KEVIN FEDERLINE, EX-HUSBAND OF BRITNEY SPEARS: She`s another person to me. You know, she`s a talented person, and she`s -- I love her to death, you know? It`s crazy. It`s something that I can`t explain, because a lot of people look at her, and they`re fans, you know, and they look up to her as that artist. You know, I look up to her as my wife and like a real, genuine person.


BECK: What a tool that guy is. And since K-Fed is Britney`s babies` daddy, he wants custody now. And I believe he means that right here. The real story here is that Kevin Federline doesn`t want custody of his children as much as he wants custody of the millions of dollars that belong to his soon-to-be ex-wife.

Now, look, I`m a divorced father myself, so I am not without compassion for what Britney`s bouncing babies will have to go through as children of divorce. However, I also have a problem with the prevailing notion that, in custody battles across the country, children automatically go to their mother.

Granted, it has been suggested that one of the reasons Britney is letting her dreamboat go is that she fears that K-Fed is a bad influence on their children. No, really? Britney, I hate to tell you this, but it wasn`t like he was a humanitarian Rhodes Scholar when you decided to mate with him, but that`s a different story.

At the end of the day, divorce is hard on everyone involved, and the added pressure of celebrity certainly isn`t making anything easier for these guys. But if there are any lessons to be learned here, here they are.

Britney, I mean this: Don`t give up. Your first marriage only lasted 55 hours, and this one made it two whole years. Now, I know it`s not exactly `til death do us part, but it is progress.

And K-Fed? You dope, when you`re going to marry an international pop star worth a couple hundred million dollars, don`t sign a pre-nup, you putz.

Jacalyn Barnett, she`s a high-profile divorce attorney. Jacalyn, please tell me there`s hope for these crazy kids. Are they going to be all right?

JACALYN BARNETT, DIVORCE ATTORNEY: Are the crazy kids Kevin and Britney? Or are they their kids?

BECK: No, no, his kids are screwed up for life. I mean...

BARNETT: Well, they weren`t lucky enough to have the six-year curse. They didn`t make it that long. But I think they`re both going to be fine. And I think they would be best-served by keeping it down low for the time being and trying to solve their problems discreetly and outside of the media.

BECK: Now, there is -- you know, we were just saying here on "The Real Story," it really bothers me the way our society is set up, that women automatically get the kids. But I know that I was not willing to go and fight with my wife -- you know, not that we would have had this situation - - but I`m not willing to go into court and say, "She`s a bad mom." And that`s the only way a guy can get their kids now. It`s that`s not right.

BARNETT: But that`s not true, because women don`t automatically get their children.

BECK: Oh, really?

BARNETT: It really depends on who is the primary caretaker. And the fact that she`s got an infant that she could be breastfeeding certainly ups the ante that she gets to keep the child, because even he can`t breastfeed. So I think you have to look at, who is the primary caretaker and what is their relationship? And what kind of father is he to the two children he had prior to their marriage?

BECK: Right. He`s pretty good to the children, that I think he -- wasn`t his wife -- no, I`m sorry, wasn`t his girlfriend pregnant or just having a child as he married Britney in the first place?

BARNETT: Yes, and that`s a clue. When a guy does that, you know you`ve got a keeper. You know that.

BECK: Yes, no, she made some real trailer decisions here, don`t get me wrong. I would be -- this is just evil and devious. If it wasn`t that there were kids, I would be so tempted, if I were here, to say, "You know what, honey? You`re right. You take the kids," because you know he doesn`t want them. He just wants the cash. Isn`t this extortion, in a way?

BARNETT: Well, it`s not extortion. It`s, unfortunately, the one irrevocably decision we make in life is when we have children. And while you can get out of a marriage, she did it in Las Vegas, and she can get out of this marriage, she is always going to be a family with this man. She`s always going to have ties. And she`s even going to have ties to his ex- girlfriend, because her children are siblings to those children, as well.

BECK: No, it`s a beautiful, lovely mess that they`ve made.

BARNETT: And I don`t even think it`s over. I`m sure there are going to be layers and layers, because they`re young, and they`ve got a whole life ahead of them.

BECK: So how does the media affect this? I mean, it must be impossible to raise kids, as somebody like Britney Spears?

BARNETT: Well, I think if you put your child on the lap while you`re driving a car...

BECK: OK, all right. OK, they`re probably not the best answer, because if I were the judge, I would say, "You know what? I`m taking the kids."

BARNETT: But I don`t think you go to the parenting program that`s sponsored by Michael Jackson.

BECK: Right.

BARNETT: I think that neither one of them has a lock on parenthood. But I think, if I were her, I would totally make my image to be very hands- on mother, be very active with the child.

And what most people don`t realize is, even if you`re not in the media, there are cameras and records all over the place about all of us. People know when you`re going through EZ-Pass. People know when you`re using your credit card. People know when you`re at the ATM. So it`s not just the people that are in the media that need to know that big brother is watching them. Everybody has that. And in all divorces, you can prove where people are and what they`re doing all the time.

BECK: Jacalyn, I mean, you clearly have never watched the show. You don`t tell people like as paranoid as me something like that. That`s not good.

BARNETT: But isn`t it good to know that you`re right?

BECK: No -- yes, yes, it is. Jacalyn, thank you very much.

That is "The Real Story" tonight. If you would like to read more about this or if you`ve found a real story of your own that you`d like to tell us about, please visit and click on the "Real Story" button.


BECK: About a year ago, my friends and I heard about a movie, "For Your Consideration." We read about it in newspaper, and we were thrilled. It is the latest Christopher Guest movie that`s coming out. It`s about what happens when a cast of low-budget independent filmmakers start to believe that their less-than-stellar performance might actually win some Oscars. Here is a clip from the movie.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, you got a minute now, because I have to go the stage. They called me.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, was it important? What did you want to talk about?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: A lot of things. But, look, I`m working for scale. And after my stature, 40 years in the business, there`s no excuse for me working for scale.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No, when that`s exactly what I`ve been telling people. You should not be working for scale.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: OK? But you know these producers. They have their own take on these things. Victor, I`m on your side, all right? I`m you`re agent. You are my number-one priority. There is nothing more important than me in my life than -- than you. Excuse me. Yes?


BECK: It is from the same people who brought you "This is Spinal Tap," one of my favorite movies, "A Mighty Wind." It co-stars Harry Shearer, who is also known as the voice of "The Simpsons." He does Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders. You know him when you see him, Harry Shearer.

How are you, sir?

HARRY SHEARER, ACTOR: I`m great. How are you, Glenn?

BECK: What a pleasure to meet you.

SHEARER: Thank you. Same here.

BECK: I saw -- I think the first Christopher Guest movie I saw, what was the one before "Mighty Wind"?

SHEARER: "Best in Show."

BECK: "Best in Show," saw that, laughed hysterically. Saw "Mighty Wind," and now I`ve been going back and watching all of them.


BECK: Just really funny, funny stuff.

SHEARER: Well, I`m glad. It`s fun for us. You know, there`s a group of people, obviously, that have been doing these movies now for a while. And when we get the call, and we`re doing another one, it`s like play day begins.

BECK: You know, I asked Jamie Lee Curtis -- she was here a few weeks ago. And I said, "How come you`re not in the movies?" And she said, "Well, my husband doesn`t put me in the movies. I don`t do that." These movies are not scripted, right?

SHEARER: No, they`re improvised. And...

BECK: How improvised? How much?

SHEARER: More than our conversation right now.

BECK: No...

SHEARER: What Chris and Eugene Levy, who write them, do is they write a script so that there`s a breakdown scene by scene. Here`s what happens in this scene. Here`s who`s in it. You know, here`s where the scene takes place, so the camera knows where to be...


BECK: Right.

SHEARER: And then we show up, and we know who our characters are and what we`re supposed to be doing, but there`s no dialogue.

BECK: So who is your character in this movie?

SHEARER: I`m Victor Allan Miller. To call him a journeyman actor would be a great compliment. He`s best known for his work as Irv the Foot Long Weiner in some hot dog commercials that you might have seen. It`s not in your market.

BECK: Right.

SHEARER: And he gets this break to be in this independent film called "Home for Purim." And then there is, along with Catherine O`Hara, who plays his co-star...

BECK: She`s brilliant.

SHEARER: Well, the big thrill for me in this movie was to do scenes finally with Catherine O`Hara. It was like...

BECK: I mean, there`s not a weak person in any of the casts in...


SHEARER: No, it`s a wonderful cast. And Ricky Gervais, the fine British creator of the British version of "The Office"...

BECK: Right, "The Office."

SHEARER: ... is in it now. He`s joined the cast of this one. So it`s just...

BECK: You know, I think if people like "The Office," they would love these movies.

SHEARER: Oh, yes.

BECK: It`s intelligent humor, but it`s not too far over your head. You know what it is? It`s the opposite of a dirty "Jerry Lewis" movie, you know what I`m saying?

SHEARER: Yes, I do. You`ve just given me a very bad picture in my mind.

BECK: I know. It will never leave either.

SHEARER: I won`t sleep tonight. But, yes, I mean, the whole thing is about trust. Chris trusts us. We`re all allowed to trust the audience, you know, so we`re not hitting you over the head with it. And it`s also we try to be real. We try to -- we`re not doing these goofy flights of fantasy. We`re trying to be what these characters really are like.

BECK: You have been involved in some of the just the finest comedy. And it must have been tough, because you really kind of arrived on the screen. You`re the first cast member to ever be on "SNL" twice, right?

SHEARER: Yes, I was that stupid.

BECK: But you were so stupid...

SHEARER: I went back.

BECK: No, but you went, in 1979, weren`t you known as -- I mean, you never replace the guy who replaces the guy, you know what I mean? You don`t want to replace Bill Murray or Dan Aykroyd.

SHEARER: I just replaced Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi, that`s all.

BECK: That`s it.

SHEARER: That`s all.

BECK: I mean, that`s suicide.

SHEARER: Yes, it was suicide.

BECK: And then you went back...

SHEARER: With Christopher, after "Spinal Tap" came out, they said, "Oh, it`s going to be so different."

BECK: Nightmare?

SHEARER: Two nightmares, horrible nightmare. Just, you know, you ever had a bad boss?

BECK: Yes.


BECK: That`s it?


BECK: And you actually found trouble making fun of Tom Brokaw in one of those experiences, didn`t you?

SHEARER: Well, not trouble, but I was playing -- I wrote a sketch with Marty Short, where I was Tom Brokaw going into the office of the head of NBC News complaining about the writers "putting too many L`s in the copy. I mean, why do we have to say `liftoff"`? Why do I have to say `lunar` or `lander`? Why cannot be just say `blastoff`? And not even `blastoff,` just, `took-off`?"

And we heard, you know, Tom was on another floor of the building watching the feed of the rehearsal and was not pleased. But that wasn`t trouble. It was just amusing. I kind of like it when they show the pain, you know?

BECK: Yes.

SHEARER: What I resent is, when you make fun of somebody, you go to the trouble of making fun of somebody, Glenn, and they act like a good sport about it, you know?

BECK: Right. And you hate that.

SHEARER: I hate that.

BECK: I know. Listen, we`re out of time, but we want to have you for our podcast.


BECK: I want to talk to you about "The Simpsons" and stuff. The movie that`s coming out is "For your Consideration," opens select theaters November 17th. Trust me, don`t miss it.

SHEARER: And I did the selecting.

BECK: Did you?

SHEARER: Oh, yes, each one.

BECK: Omaha, Nebraska, number one.

SHEARER: Give me that one!


BECK: Hello, friends. Doesn`t it feel good that the political nonsense of the election is almost behind us? The effects, clearly, are going to resonate for approximately a trillion years, but as far as the actual election, there are only a few more days of reaction until my mind completely turns it off.

Actually, tomorrow on the radio show, we`re doing a politics-free Friday. And I don`t care who you call me up and talk about, as long as they don`t have an "R," a "D," or an "I" after their name. But until then, we have Daniel from Utah who sent in this video mail.


DANIEL FROM UTAH: Isn`t that a beautiful shirt? Hey, Glenn, how is it going? I went in and voted tonight. And because I`m registered already, I didn`t have to show any kind of identification, just had to sign my name and go in.

Now, I have a big problem with this, because the average Joe could walk in there, sign my name, and cast my ballot for me. I want to have to prove that I am who I say I am. I want to have to show my driver`s license or my Social Security card. And I don`t know who I can talk to, to make a difference, so I`m talking to you. Thanks, Glenn. I hope you can do something.


BECK: How dare you even ask me that? If you had to bring some sort of official identification to the polls, how exactly would illegal aliens be able to vote? How would convicted felons vote? How exactly would the people who are just like you and me, but happened to just pass away a decade or so ago, get into the voting booth? The answer is: They wouldn`t, and that`s obviously your plan, to disenfranchise those people who don`t fit your profile of "legal registered voter" or "non-deceased person," you evil hatemonger. But thanks for your video mail anyway.

And you can submit your own at

Now, before we go, let me take one minute to talk to you about something that is thankfully much more a higher priority than politics. Every year, I do a fundraiser for the USO New York. And our radio audience has donated over $1.1 million, and I hope you don`t mind helping me increase that number.

Right now, you can make a donation of any size to the USO just by calling 800-457-4292. It is literally the easiest job I have every year. Whether you agree or disagree with the war or how we`re fighting it, these guys are risking their lives for us. The least we can do is take care of them when they come home, and that is exactly what the USO does.

So, please, just take a couple of minutes, give a few bucks. The number again is 800-457-4292. If you missed it, all of the information is on the front page of Please call them now.

We`ll see you tomorrow.