Return to Transcripts main page

Joy Behar Page

Beyonce Sings for Gadhafi; Stand-Up Guy; "Skinny Girl"

Aired January 08, 2010 - 21:00   ET


JOY BEHAR, HOST: Tonight, on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, Tiger, Beyonce and Charlie; oh, my. For a lot of celebrities this week has been nothing to celebrate. But the only thing more important than watching your weight is gossiping about everyone else`s.

So join me tonight with the author of "The Skinny Girl" "Real Housewives`" Bethenny Frankel.

And then sitting down to discuss diet, health and, of course, sex; the fabulous Dr. Oz. Be honest, without sex, who cares about health? All this, starting now.

I would like to start off the show tonight with a question. Exactly how much money is enough? On New Year`s Eve, Beyonce flew to St. Bart`s to do a concert for the family of known terrorist Moammar Gadhafi. What`s next, Susan Boyle belting out "I Dreamed a Dream" for the Taliban?

The closest I ever came to performing for a terrorist was on my wedding night. But that`s another story.

Joining me to discuss this and other stories on this week`s cultural underbelly are comedian Judy Gold, celebrity journalist, Ben Widdicombe, and comedian Cory Kahaney.

Welcome to the show.

Let`s discuss this story for a minute. Would you have done that? It`s $1 million or $2 million.

JUDY GOLD, COMEDIAN: She did five songs, that`s $400,000 a song. Take the guy`s money. I would perform for Dick Cheney and Satan for that. Ok. Take the money.


BEN WIDDICOMBE, CELEBRITY JOURNALIST: That`s a pretty big caucus (ph). Their father`s a dictator. So these two brothers were known playboys. The bill collectors aren`t coming around their house. Their father can pay whatever he wants.

BEHAR: He`s a bad guy, though. He beat up his girlfriend, then he married her, then beat her up as his wife.

GOLD: So why didn`t they get Rihanna?


CORY KAHANEY, COMEDIAN: In this economy, you can`t turn gigs down. Judy, when we do Ahmadinejad`s nephew, do you want to close or should I close?

GOLD: I want to close. I want to do the Jew jokes, that`s what I want to do.

KAHANEY: Are they flying us first class?

GOLD: Coach.

BEHAR: But I mean -- do you think it`s a performer`s responsibility to really know what the -- look at all the mobsters we work for in New Haven alone. You know, we don`t know who`s out there.

KAHANEY: You`d think she knew -- I mean was there a briefing? It was like St. Bart`s, $2 million, New Year`s Eve. She was like, done.

BEHAR: All you have to do is say the name Gadhafi. Hello. Does the name ring a bell?

WIDDICOMBE: Beyonce and Jay-Z go to St. Bart`s every year at this time of year. They know who those guys are. Those guys are there every year. It`s not a mystery.

BEHAR: Gadhafi?


KAHANEY: Those guys hang out with each other.

WIDDICOMBE:: They have a huge -- they`re known for their parties in the south of France. They have all these celebrity friends. They party in New York and London. These guys are -- people know who they are.

BEHAR: Do you think that she knew who Gadhafi was?

WIDDICOMBE: Oh, no question. And listen, she doesn`t do her own booking, you know. You don`t take Beyonce and say can you come around tonight to do five songs? This was done through her people.

BEHAR: Oh yes, the William Morrison (ph); they don`t know who he is either.

KAHANEY: There were people there. Jon Bon Jovi was there.


KAHANEY: And Usher.

GOLD: Lindsay Lohan.


KAHANEY: Lindsay, Jay-Z and Paul Allen.

BEHAR: Who`s he? I don`t know him.

GOLD: I have no idea.


BEHAR: And Usher -- Usher was there, too.

GOLD: Usher definitely doesn`t know who Gadhafi was.

WIDDICOMBE:: She should have known better.

BEHAR: All right.

Let`s go to another story. Letterman landed in hot water earlier this week all because of this joke. Watch.


DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS HOST: President Obama has appointed a transgender person, a transgender person. Her name is Amanda Simpson (ph) and he`s appointed her to become part of the commerce department.

We have a photo. Here she is right there. That`s Amanda Simpson. And she`s a transgender...

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What, Amanda used to be a dude? Oh, my God.


BEHAR: The human rights campaign is mad at Letterman and is demanding an apology because they say it makes fun of transgender Americans. First of all, is it funny?

GOLD: It`s not that it`s funny.

BEHAR: Do you get it? Do you get the joke?

GOLD: It wasn`t funny, it was an easy joke.

WIDDICOMBE:: Listen, it`s not that transgender people are sacred cows that you can`t possibly make a joke about or you`re not (INAUDIBLE). That was a stupid joke and it was offensive. And the Human Rights Campaign hit it on the head.

These people face tremendous bias, they walk a tough road, much tougher than the guys. I think that transgenders really have the worst of anyone and it was a dumb joke. What not be smart about it?

BEHAR: What do you think, Corey?

KAHANEY: I think it was a gag on the crying game. And I think "Saturday Night Live" would have done it if Dave hadn`t done it at this point in the week. You know, it was juvenile, junior high school type joke.

BEHAR: Typical of late night comedy.

KAHANEY: That`s his audience there; 18 to 24-year-olds. He`s not writing for the McNeil-Leer (ph) audience.

BEHAR: Although he would kill with them.

WIDDICOMBE:: But don`t you think this gets back to people saying that David Letterman doesn`t have any women writers. I don`t know whether he has any gay writers or if in fact he has no transgender writers...


BEHAR: I thought you were going to say David Letterman doesn`t have any women.


GOLD: He did, but she didn`t take the intern job that he offered her.

BEHAR: You know what, the joke is on -- just to play devil`s advocate -- the joke is on the hetero guy who sleeps with the transgender -- I`m not allowed to say tranny. They say that`s PI (ph).

GOLD: Is that true?


GOLD: I didn`t even know that I`m gay. You can`t say tranny.

BEHAR: No. They don`t like it, tranny. I was called on the carpet for that one. But I thought it was an affection way to talk about transgenders.

GOLD: Right.

BEHAR: You know I`m sympathetic to all that.

KAHANEY: And I think they should open the conversation. I mean listen, the gay community has had a really bad year last year. The gay bill of rights didn`t pass, gay marriage didn`t pass. They`re very angry. And so they went after this, I think, because, you know, they need a cow. They need a sacred cow.

WIDDICOMBE:: But listen, the Human Rights Campaign made the point that it was a joke about tranny-panic...


WIDDICOMBE:: When people murder trannies and also gay people, they say, well, I didn`t know he or she was tranny or that they were gay and that horror is enough to murder someone.

Their point is that this is a real defense, which is victimizing people in this country. It wasn`t funny.

GOLD: Well, it`s awful being gay-bashed, too. I think every gay person has been gay-bashed. And it`s just the worst feeling...

BEHAR: I`ve been gay bashed and I`m not gay. That`s how pervasive it is.

GOLD: Yes, it`s awful. It`s an awful thing. And she went from Mitch to Amanda. That I don`t understand. Why she didn`t go to Michelle, Mindy.


BEHAR: No, the thing about it is that -- as I was about to say, I don`t know if she cleared this up. The joke is on the hetero guy who thinks that he slept with a woman, right? So the joke is really on him.

GOLD: Right.

BEHAR: So can we take that into consideration at all?

WIDDICOMBE:: No, I don`t think the joke is on him.

BEHAR: You don`t?

WIDDICOMBE:: No. I think the joke was about the transgender people are not acceptable is my reading of that joke.

BEHAR: I see.

KAHANEY: As the horny guy found out that she was -- that she had been a man before and he ran away and hard -- that`s the crying game there.

WIDDICOMBE:: An offense to his masculinity which is -- you know.

GOLD: And -- which is ridiculous. She is a woman. She is 100 percent woman. And that`s what people don`t understand. When you`re transgender, you become another sex 100 percent.

BEHAR: Right. It`s true. She is a woman. So they should stop making fun of her.

GOLD: Right.

BEHAR: Well, it also trickles down to being a young kid, who has had sexual identity issues and how you have to suffer. It reminds me of other things with ethnic groups, too.

Let`s talk about something else, then. How about Charlie Sheen? What do you think is going on with that? His CBS show may be doing well in the aftermath of his domestic spat. But Thursday Hanes` dropped him from their ad campaign.

GOLD: I heard he`s getting a nice company endorsement.


BEHAR: The wife was -- is sort of like being criticized a little bit. His uncle, Charlie Sheen`s uncle, is calling her a drama queen. Don`t you think that, in a way, that`s wrong too, to say that she`s a drama queen? She is a victim to some extent, allegedly.

GOLD: Right. Allegedly.

WIDDICOMBE:: At the time he said that she was drunk. He told police when they turned up at the house that she had been abusing alcohol.

BEHAR: Who said that? Charlie.

WIDDICOMBE:: Charlie Sheen told the police. So his defense was basically she`s drunk, she doesn`t know what she`s talking about.

BEHAR: And wasn`t he drunk at the time too?

WIDDICOMBE:: Well, we don`t know that for sure. But since then she`s backed off from the protection order. They have a court date January 20th. They just -- her lawyer says they want the protection order modified so they can talk and work it out which says to me that he`s kind of got to her after it happened.

BEHAR: Some women are not happy with her either. I don`t know how you guys feel about this.

KAHANEY: Who fixed her up with him?

BEHAR: She knew his history.

KAHANEY: Yes. It`s one thing you could Google a guy or you could, you know, you could Facebook a guy. But I mean, he was on the cover of "Us" and "People" and "Drudge Report" and TMZ as somebody with, you know, with three orders of protection against him.

I mean who could she date after him, O.J.?


BEHAR: Is he available?

GOLD: I think he is available.

BEHAR: Should we blame this all on Tiger Woods?

GOLD: Yes, totally.

BEHAR: He is the highest paid sitcom star, right? $800,000 an episode, at least, before taxes. And my question is, will you watch the show now? Or did you ever watch it?

GOLD: I never watched the show and it used to be three men, but then he cut half of the other guy. So, whatever.

BEHAR: What does it mean, three and a half...

KAHANEY: "Two and a Half Men" there`s one little kid..

BEHAR: Oh, there`s a kid in there. I thought maybe there was a little...

GOLD: You know who should be the most pissed off? It`s Emilio Estevez. That`s who should be pissed off.

KAHANEY: Because he can`t get arrested.

BEHAR: Good one. Ok.

Are we done with that topic?

How about Tiger Woods, I hear that he`s been -- they can`t find the guy.

GOLD: How about how they get psychics? Why don`t they get psychics for Osama bin Laden?

BEHAR: I know. It`s true.

Why can`t they Google Osama bin Laden? They can see when I`m adjusting the straps on my brassiere and they can`t find this guy. I don`t understand that.

GOLD: And who cares where he is, too? You know he`s not alone, wherever he is.

BEHAR: Who, Tiger?


GOLD: Tiger.


BEHAR: The rumor is that he`s been at this guy`s house, Jim Dolan, who owns the Knicks who lives out in Long Island somewhere. Jim Dolan has a huge spread out on Long Island with a helipad on his property. Who doesn`t? And Tiger maybe jumping off and -- on and off the helipad and traveling all around and making himself scarce, so we can`t find the guy.

Shouldn`t he come out now and say you know look, I was an idiot to be screwing all these girls?

GOLD: Yes, the balloon guy has a press conference but Tiger Woods has no press conference.

BEHAR: Exactly and you know, I mean, really don`t you think it`s time for him to say something?

KAHANEY: I don`t know. I mean, he was famous for playing golf. I mean, the only thing he, thing that he did that was wrong was he was married.

BEHAR: Yes that`s right.

KAHANEY: You know what I`m saying. If he was just a Lothario who did all this, you know, men by the way I found don`t have a problem with what Tiger Woods did. They are amazed that he was able to do all of these women and keep that golf game going.

GOLD: It was a lot of women.


WIDDICOMBE: But he was, you know, lily-white that he wouldn`t do this and he was...

GOLD: Well, not really bad boy.


GOLD: But his body on "Vanity Fair," oh, my God.

BEHAR: Well, they are saying, there`s rumors now that he was on some kind of steroids. I mean, it`s just an allegation and a rumor, so who knows?

But how can you play golf when you have steroids. Doesn`t that make you too buff to even like move?

GOLD: Yes, to move, exactly. He can maybe play mini-golf.

BEHAR: I could use steroids just to stir the sauce at Christmas, I`ll tell you. Ok, thanks very much for all of your insights.

Up next comedian Charlie Murphy.



CHARLIE MURPHY, COMEDIAN: He went to Studio 54. We we`re walking up into the VIP section and I`m looking around to see who`s there and everything. And all of a sudden I heard somebody go, Charlie Murphy. That was my poor brother.


BEHAR: That was comedian Charlie Murphy, in a classic scene from "Chappelle Show". His new book "The Making of a Stand-up Guy" tells the story of how he went from being known as Eddie Murphy`s brother to an accomplished stand-up comedian in his own right.

Welcome, welcome Charlie.

MURPHY: Thanks for having me.

BEHAR: I`m sure that it must have been difficult to be Eddie Murphy`s brother. He got famous very early.

MURPHY: I`ve never looked at him (INAUDIBLE) we`ve been through, it was all fun.

BEHAR: It was all fun for you?

MURPHY: For me it was all fun.

BEHAR: Really?

MURPHY: Definitely.

BEHAR: But I mean, at one point, who was the funny one growing up?

MURPHY: Everyone. It was -- that funny was just part of our life.

BEHAR: Everybody was funny in the family?

MURPHY: Everybody was funny but it wasn`t like "good times", it`s like everybody is coming and you hit drum rolls at one line -- it was stuff just happened.

BEHAR: Stuff happened, the things happened and then you would just make jokes up?

MURPHY: In a way, we, oh, yes. If you were one of my brothers you didn`t ever want to have your guard down.

BEHAR: Really, why?

MURPHY: Because with jokes, we have to deal with jokes for years after that.

BEHAR: Were your parents funny, too?

MURPHY: Oh, my dad was, yes. My dad was funny and his brothers are funny.

BEHAR: At one point you guys took different routes as you`ve talked about it in your book.


BEHAR: He went to "Saturday Night Live" and you went to jail.

MURPHY: Yes, yes.

BEHAR: So what happened there?

MURPHY: Well, he always wanted to be in show business.

BEHAR: He did?

MURPHY: Yes, I didn`t. And I think that`s normal for most kids. I didn`t have any idea what I wanted to do.

BEHAR: Oh so he had...

MURPHY: I just had this very creative mind and that`s dangerous if you don`t take it and direct it. Because I started being creative with things that can land you in jail.

BEHAR: That`s right.

MURPHY: And that`s what happened.

BEHAR: The old slammeroo (ph). But I asked this of Tim Allen, the same question. Did being funny help you in jail?

MURPHY: Absolutely.


MURPHY: Yes, I was everybody`s friend. Because jail is a very -- shall we say sad place.


MURPHY: Most people are sad and stressed out. So if you`re a dude that can make people laugh.

BEHAR: Yes. But did it protect you from being attacked?

MURPHY: I wouldn`t say that. No, these actually did that.

BEHAR: And not a punch line, just a punch.

MURPHY: Yes, yes. Jokes alone aren`t going to get you over in jail.


MURPHY: After a while, yes, you maybe funny, but I still want them sneakers. Take your shoes off, funny man.

BEHAR: But then you did break into standup. Tell me how you became at standup?

MURPHY: The way I became a standup was -- first let me mention I had experience being on the stage in that whole -- what we feel when we`re on stage and you have an audience whose total attention is directed toward you, I felt that for a brief moment after my brother was on the Arsenio Hall Show at the coffee store.

My brother called me on as a joke and I was drunk and I went up on stage and everyone was looking at me and it felt great. Even though I didn`t have nothing to say, it felt great.

BEHAR: They just started looking at you.

MURPHY: And I think I said something crazy and I walked off the stage and they was like, yes, like they were drunk, too.

BEHAR: So that helped.

MURPHY: I did like 20 seconds and I killed. And I never did it again for years.

BEHAR: For years. But you remembered it.

MURPHY: And then after "Chappelle", I remember that feeling and after the "Chappelle" show broke out the way it did, it was the season breaking and everyone was going and I was going to work and I was going to auditions.

They said how much you get paid for audition? And I was like nothing. They said I`m going to get paid to go now to Virginia Beach and do a gig, you ought to come down and I was like I can`t do standup. And I kept being requested until one of my friends dared me to do it. I think you`re afraid.

BEHAR: He dared you.

MURPHY: Yes, I think you`re afraid in front of a room full of people and express yourself. You could do it in front of the cameras but you can`t it in front of live people.

BEHAR: You did it in the jail, why would you be afraid of an audience?

MURPHY: Exactly.


MURPHY: Exactly, well, you have a different incentive in jail.

BEHAR: To save your life. Yes, well it`s sort of you have the same language that`s used on stage though. "I killed, I died."

MURPHY: Yes, yes I killed, I died, yes. Get back, all of that, all that kind of stuffs.

BEHAR: Standup is very much like being in jail, I think.

MURPHY: And I think being in jail helped me when I first started doing standup because I didn`t have a technique. So what I would do is threaten them.

BEHAR: What did you say?

MURPHY: I would get graphic. Like you, hey, you know, I haven`t been doing this long, I really will take this mike stand and fit them into your mouth. Trust me. You haven`t seen me before, right? Well, better get to know me first before we start joking.

BEHAR: I see.

MURPHY: And they would -- and I really meant what I was saying...


MURPHY: ... because I felt like, you know, this is the opportunity that I can`t let anyone take from me.


MURPHY: But I always knew at the same time, if you`re a real comedian, a real seasoned comedian, you should be able to handle that without...

BEHAR: Without threatening the audience, yes. Without saying laugh at this or I`ll kill you.

MURPHY: Right. And that`s just how I was.

BEHAR: Thanks so much for coming by.

MURPHY: Thanks for having me.

BEHAR: "Real Housewives`" Bethenny Frankel is up next.


BEHAR: Well, we love her on the "Real Housewives of New York City" and we love her more for being here with us to talk about her new book, "Skinny Girl". Bethenny Frankel is the author of the "Skinny Girl Dish: Easy recipes for your naturally thin life". Welcome, Bethenny.


BEHAR: It`s a New Year, we`re all looking to lose weight. What can I do to start losing weight right now?

FRANKEL: First of all, there`s no such thing as a resolution and starting. It should always be the same. You should always -- your diet is always going to be a bank account. And you`re always going to decide when to splurge, when to hold back and this shouldn`t be any different.

And basically if you`re doing it right, then there should be no December 31st or January 1st, it should always be kind of balanced. Because then you`re never going to be hysterical and drastic.

And this is the week that everybody is eating everything fat free and dry and panicked and regretful and being emotional about it instead of just being balanced and saying let me just reel it in a little bit. Let me eat well, let me eat high volume foods with a lot of color, with a lot of flavor, a lot of -- sort of good fats.

BEHAR: Good fats?

FRANKEL: Good fats but like if you use different herbs and -- when you go to a spa, it`s low fat but it`s always colorful and it`s always a big event. And you kind of have to do that a little bit at home.

BEHAR: What about white foods? Should I stay away from white foods?

FRANKEL: I would say it`s the lesser of evils, yes, to get the raw sugar, to have the whole grain and to have the whole wheat pasta. Not always, not be obsessive. If you`re in a restaurant and you want pasta, figure it out in that moment. Decide to load it up with vegetables. You eat all the vegetables first then you`ll have a little bit less of the pasta because you fill up on the good stuff.

BEHAR: No, you won`t.

FRANKEL: You will.

BEHAR: No, you won`t.

FRANKEL: You`ll have the salad first.

BEHAR: You`ll eat that pasta any way.

FRANKEL: Well, you can cancel your membership to the Queen Clay Club (ph) and leave one bite, two bites just to get yourself used to that or just order an appetizer portion and you kind of get used...

BEHAR: Well, that`s (INAUDIBLE), you can`t order a half order.

FRANKEL: You can`t order a half order.

BEHAR: Of pasta yes.

There`s a way to do it. So it`s the old dreaded portion control.

FRANKEL: The old dreaded portion control but if you do have a soup or salad first, it does tend work. If you had a club soda, it really does work and you feel like you`re participating. You`re not hating pasta, you`re not afraid of it.

BEHAR: Right, right. Don`t fear pasta.

FRANKEL: Don`t fear food because food is not your best friend...

BEHAR: And I don`t like the fat free either. It`s like rubber.

FRANKEL: No, my book is all -- it`s lower fat.

I renovate recipes. I take the fattening, spinach, artichokes, fattening guacamole or chicken pot pie and I renovate; keeping all the flavor and a lot of vegetables and taking out whatever I can take out but not too much.

BEHAR: You renovate chicken pot pie did you say?


BEHAR: How do you do that?

FRANKEL: I make it lighter. You really don`t need to use a lot of butter and a lot of white flour.

BEHAR: But there`s a crust.

FRANKEL: You can use the whole wheat crust or you can use the white crust. The crust is probably about 100 to 120 calories. It`s the inside that`s fattening, all the butter and all that thick stuff...

BEHAR: Yes. The best part.

FRANKEL: I know, but you can make it good, make it healthy.

BEHAR: I know. All right, whatever. Listen...

FRANKEL: You`re like, screw you, I`m getting the real chicken pot pie.

BEHAR: If I were to pull three things out of your book that I should follow, what are they?

FRANKEL: The first thing is to not -- don`t go for the fat free, don`t go for the (INAUDIBLE) you have to -- quality versus quantity. If you want ice cream, don`t go buy fat-free frozen yogurt, have a small, real ice cream.

BEHAR: Ok. Number two?

FRANKEL: Number two is a variety. Have a lot of bright colors and a lot of different variety.

And number three, it has to be easy and accessible. All these recipes, I teach you how to use what you have in your house already.

It`s like, you put a scarf on. Is this a scarf? Theoretically, you put your earrings on. That`s accessorizing. You have things in your house and you just pull in a couple of things at the supermarket.

I don`t like to go and shop for 25 ingredients when I`m cooking for myself or one person and be overwhelmed. I like it to be easy and I like to accessorize. And I teach people how to think about food.

BEHAR: Ok. Thank you, Bethenny.

Her new book is "The Skinny Girl Dish: Easy recipes for your naturally thin life". Back in a minute. Stay right there.


BEHAR: New Year`s is over. And I`ll bet half the country has resolved to lose weight this year. Joining me in the studio is someone who can actually help make that happen, he`s TV`s favorite doctor. If, of course, you don`t count McDreamy and McSteamy, he`s host of the Dr. Oz Show and he`s the real thing. And he is the author of "You On A Diet: The Owner`s Manual For Waist Management." Dr. Oz welcome to the show. Can I call you Mehm?

DR. OZ, DOCTOR AND AUTHOR: Mehmet please, anything.

BEHAR: No one calls you Mehm?

DR. OZ: They call me Mehm but you know what that`s the joy name for me now, you know.

BEHAR: Mehm, okay, Mehm. So you know, you`re very good at compressing ideas. So you say that it takes two weeks to form new habits?

DR. OZ: Well most folks go into a New Year`s resolution


DR. OZ: And say I`m going to drop my old habit and maybe get one of these new ones on board. But that`s not how the brain works. The brain has synaptic connections, little pieces of glue that hold together the different parts of the brain.

BEHAR: Uh huh.

DR. OZ: And you have this thing called miracle grow, a hormone just like that.

BEHAR: Like a chia pet?

DR. OZ: Like a chia pet exactly, growing out of your ears and eyes as you grow older. But it actually gets your neurons to connect together more intelligently. But you got to train it. It takes about two weeks to train the brain to do anything, whether you are learning to juggle, playing the piano, host a show. It takes two weeks. Dieting is the same thing.

BEHAR: Really

DR. OZ: Once you adopt a new program then over time it will become the norm for you and you get rid of that old habit after awhile.

BEHAR: So in the first two weeks when you are trying to lose weight, you should be strict?

DR. OZ: It`s not a matter of being strict, Joy.


DR. OZ: You got to adopt a behavior that makes sense for you. It has to be fun and cool and jazz you up. If you don`t get up in the morning, if you`re not psyched up about doing it, it`s not going to work for you. And that`s the biggest mistake we make. So whatever program you want to get into, doesn`t violate the biology of blubber, which means the basic fundamental way your body responds to food. So you can naturally go back to your playing weight which is your weight when you are 18 to 20 years of age.

BEHAR: How do you know your blubber rate?

DR. OZ: Well the first thing you want to do is focus on the right number. You don`t care about the weight you care about the waist.

BEHAR: The waist?

DR. OZ: The book`s subtitle is the Owner`s Manual To Waist Management.

BEHAR: Oh I see.

DR. OZ: We`re not talking about the company.

BEHAR: Yes, yes, yes.

DR. OZ: Right, we`re talking about your waist size. Now why is that? Because most folks don`t recognize, I don`t care about fat thighs. Joy you know what, if you got fat thighs you`ll lose a couple dates. Who cares? As a doctor, I`m more worried about your belly fat. Because the belly fat is called the omentum. And it`s this big, robust level of fat and it squeezes on the kidneys and causes high blood pressure, and it poisons your liver, causes high cholesterol and it blocks insulin and that causes you to have diabetes. So the first thing people go to do is know their waist size. Do you know your waist size?

BEHAR: No. If I did, I`m not telling you.

DR. OZ: Right, now, first time ever on the Joy Behar Show, I`m going to teach you how to do this. How tall are you?

BEHAR: 5`4 and 3/4".

DR. OZ: Make it 5`5".

BEHAR: Okay.

DR. OZ: Now your waist should never be more than half you height. So, 5 time 12 is 60 inches?


DR. OZ: Plus 5 is 65 inches.

BEHAR: Yes, my waist should be 65 inches.

DR. OZ: No, should be half of than that. 32 1/2". Is it?

BEHAR: No, I don`t think so. No, no, no, no, no.

DR. OZ: Yes.

BEHAR: Oh my god, who told you could do this?

DR. OZ: I was assured you would be -- let`s go. That`s the inseam size. There we go. Let`s find out. Suck it in. Suck it in. Oh, 31 1/2".

BEHAR: Seriously?

DR. OZ: Very impressive.

BEHAR: No kidding? I`m underweight?

DR. OZ: I`m serious. You`re underweight. She`s positively anorexic.

BEHAR: Are you kidding me, forget the Weight Watchers I was going to go on this week.

DR. OZ: Now here`s the deal, now you might want to look hotter.

BEHAR: But I want to lose it down here a little.

DR. OZ: There`s good beauty reasons to lose it but the medical reason to lose it is for the waist size.


DR. OZ: And that number works for men, women and females. And please for women out there, this is really important. Guys over the age of 40 will never buy a new size belt. What they do is they take the belt and they flip it beneath the fat and walk around like this, right?

BEHAR: That`s attractive.

DR. OZ: Exactly, so you have to go and measure their waist size at their belly button.

BEHAR: Oh okay, all right.

DR. OZ: That`s the number.

BEHAR: So now we know you have to measure your waist, it has to be a certain number.

DR. OZ: Right.

BEHAR: Otherwise you`re in a lot of trouble. You`re going to get health problems, right?

DR. OZ: It`s the number one driver of health in America and if you don`t deal with obesity we won`t have a health care budget we can balance, period.

BEHAR: Okay let`s do this synopsis you were talking about.

DR. OZ: Sure.

BEHAR: Now in the first two weeks that you try to do this, what are the things you should be doing?

DR. OZ: So first thing is to detox the refrigerator.

BEHAR: Detox the refrigerator.

DR. OZ: Now why is that?

BEHAR: Throw out the trans fats?

DR. OZ: Well, you have to throw out the trans fats, that`s obvious. But it`s actually the saturated fats, the fats that are solid at room temperature and this is really important, all the white foods, the white sugar, the white flour, the white pasta, the white bread, all that goes.

BEHAR: That is so racist.

DR. OZ: Yes, I know it`s terrible. It`s terrible but it`s true. And of course the other big thing is high fructose corn syrup.

BEHAR: A lot of things have it.

DR. OZ: Yes because it`s cheap sugar but it`s poisonous to the liver. And by the way, if you have a soft drink at lunch, for example, not only do you get the extra 160 calories from the soft drink you`ll eat an extra 125 calories. And this is the most important thing I`m going to say today. The entire obesity epidemic is about 100 calories of too much food a day.

BEHAR: 100 calories?

DR. OZ: That`s it. That`s it. If you are going to lose weight, the way to do it is to shave 100 calories off. So if you have a soft drink that extra 125 calories you eat because the drink poisons your system and doesn`t let you realize how to manage your weight -- there it is.

BEHAR: No but look, I drink -- this is a diet coke because it has caffeine in it. And I like to keep myself awake.

DR. OZ: Well let me ask you a question about diet sodas. I`m not picking on any one company.

BEHAR: Yes, it`s all right.

DR. OZ: Diet sodas in general, you think if they help you diet they would market that fact?

BEHAR: I don`t think it`s going to help me diet, no. I don`t believe that. But it does have a little caffeine in it. It`s better than coffee, which makes me throw up.

DR. OZ: Coffee, throwing up is not so attractive perhaps, but number one source of antioxidants in America natural, so and it`s a natural real food.


DR. OZ: So you`re better off with coffee without the sugar and cream.

BEHAR: Yes but it gives you a stomach ache at 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon.

DR. OZ: if you don`t like it`s a separate issue. But the caffeine is the caffeine. And you get the caffeine from any sources. My problem with diet sodas, is that the artificial sweeteners in them, although I don`t think they cause cancer. I do think --

BEHAR: You don`t?

DR. OZ: No. I do think they can mess up your system enough that in some cases they`ll actually get you to eat a little more than you normally would have eaten. Yes, the brain is getting a schizophrenic message, Joy. You`re thinking, so your brain is you saying to yourself, wait a minute, you drank something that`s sweet but I don`t feel I got any calories. So what`s going on here?

BEHAR: Uh huh.

DR. OZ: And as you begin to appreciate that, your brain says wait a minute, I need to eat more. Something has to give here. You end up eating more. Sodas often times will put weight on.

BEHAR: Okay, I believe that. What if you put sugar in your coffee or sweeten low, or one of those?

DR. OZ: Well you can use a little sugar, I`m fine with that. You can use Aguave, which is a lot sweeter than sugar.

BEHAR: Aguave.

DR. OZ: Aguave.

BEHAR: Zyletol is another one.

DR. OZ: Well yes but that`s artificial one. Aguave is natural, it`s what you make tequila from.

BEHAR: I see.

DR. OZ: But it`s a lot sweeter than sugar. So there`s a little bit of it --

BEHAR: Aguave, okay, I got to write that down.

DR. OZ: A-g-u-a-v-e.

BEHAR: I know how to spell it. That`s good. What do you think about Splenda and those things, do they cause cancer?

DR. OZ: No, I don`t think any of them really cause cancer. I think a lot of them hang out in the body for a long time.


DR. OZ: And we`re not sure in long periods of time what that`s going to mean to us. But the more important thing is they don`t get you where you need to be. What you need to be able to do is automate a system that make sense, that`s elegance, that`s seamless, that effortless gets you where you have to be in life. And to do that, you got to say okay, you know what, from now on I, Joy Behar, when I get up in the morning I`m going to eat this breakfast. I`m never going to vary it I`m going to have that breakfast every single day. I`m going to have my eggs, all my oatmeal, my 100% whole grain.

BEHAR: That doesn`t get monotonous?

DR. OZ: If it does get monotonous shift to a different breakfast that you like. But don`t reinvent the wheel. Don`t go searching for new foods. What ends up happening, after breakfast, for lunch and snacks, you got to do the same thing. Dinner go out and eat it, enjoy it. But if you`re foraging for food at 11:00 in the morning or 5:00 in the afternoon, that bewitching hour, what ends up happening?

BEHAR: You overeat.

DR. OZ: Find whatever food you have there.

BEHAR: Yes. Yes.

DR. OZ: The beauty of the human body is that it will give you feedback. But you should never be hungry.

BEHAR: You know last week I started to do a food diary. And first of all, I realized that I denied myself nothing. Nothing! I looked at what I was eating; I took every pleasure and used it. Okay. Then I said, better not do that. One thing I notice from my food diary is that I do like certain foods. I only like certain things. I don`t eat a million exotic things. So, what you`re saying makes sense. Stick with what you like already and know what they are and stop making crazy choices in the middle of the night, right?

DR. OZ: What you`re looking for, Joy, is that little nudge to take you in the right direction. What most of us do is 11:00 at night, where really irritated at our spouse, we`re mad about our job, the finances aren`t going well. What do you do? You head down to the kitchen like a reptile in search of food. Foraging through the cabinets and the refrigerator. Whatever is there is there. What we need to do is make it easy to do the right thing. Don`t make a difficult decision in your kitchen, make a difficult decision in the supermarket, go out and buy the foods that you --

BEHAR: Okay.

DR. OZ: that you know are naturally --

BEHAR: Right.

DR. OZ: in your best interest.

BEHAR: And plan a little bit?

DR. OZ: Little bit.

BEHAR: Okay now, what is this about a whole grain bread, eat a piece of whole grain bread with olive oil every day before dinner for two weeks. Why?

DR. OZ: Because the biology of blubber, getting back to that concept is very fundamental here. What makes your stomach growl is a chemical called grelin. Say it.

BEHAR: Grelin.

DR. OZ: Yes, sounds like gremlin, right?


DR. OZ: Now, it`s what makes you`re stomach growl but it also reminds you are hungry. And it shouts louder and louder and louder via chemically into your brain until you finally break down and eat whatever is in front of you. Now a half an hour after you eat a meal, the grelin level will go back to normal. But Joy in half an hour, you`ve had three meals.

BEHAR: Right. You`re supposed to take your time and stop at 20 minutes.

DR. OZ: But it`s hard to do that.

BEHAR: Give your body time to metabolize or whatever it is.

DR. OZ: Ideally you do that the grelin will come down. But what we might want to do to beat the system is half an hour before we sit down.


DR. OZ: Grab a handful of nuts, a piece of fruit, and some bread with olive oil. Eat that. And that 100 calories of food right then will shut your grelin down.


DR. OZ: So by the time you sit down for the meal you`re not hungry anymore. You can leisurely taste everyone else`s food.

BEHAR: You really think that will work?

DR. OZ: Oh no it does work.

BEHAR: See that`s a brilliant idea. That`s a brilliant idea. Because everybody is hungry, hungry, hungry. And the key is to stop the appetite a little bit.

DR. OZ: What I do is -- speaking theoretically here but based on a pretty good science base.

BEHAR: Okay, what about exercising now? I really hate aerobic exercise with a passion. The only exercise I like is horseback riding because you can sit. Seriously, so, I mean, I like stretching and I like a little core work and I`ll do burst training now, which is like 12 minutes fast, fast, fast, then slow, slow, slow, fast, fast, fast. What do you think of that routine? Could I lose weight with that?

DR. OZ: There is no way for you to sustainably lose waist size.

BEHAR: My waist is fabulous you told me.

DR. OZ: Yes but if you want to look more beautiful than you look now and you want to lose some of the fat thighs as well, if you desire that, there`s no way to do that without putting on some muscle mass. The biggest problem we have in America I think with obesity and women going through menopause. And women say, you know what, I`m going through menopause so my ovaries aren`t making estrogen. Have you heard that right? But guess what else the ovaries make, they make testosterone.

BEHAR: The ovaries make testosterone?

DR. OZ: Yes, and without testosterone, you don`t make muscle anymore. So let me not don`t just lose libido --

BEHAR: So you have to do aerobic?

DR. OZ: No, build muscle mass.

BEHAR: Muscle mass which is weights.

DR. OZ: Or lift your own body weight. That works too.

BEHAR: Yes. Yes.

DR. OZ: You don`t have to go out and be a power lifter. But you can do basic exercise, you know, yoga work, calisthenics, things that allow your body to be your gym.

BEHAR: Okay.

DR. OZ: Easy, cheap, and work.

BEHAR: Okay very good, more with Dr. Oz, I want to talk about sex when we come back, in just a minute.


BEHAR: We`re back with the host of the "Dr. Oz Show." Dr. Oz, one of the suggestions in your book is to have more sex. Does your wife know about this?

DR. OZ: My wife, actually I thought of this show as foreplay. But you know that`s the reality. I`m coming home soon.

BEHAR: We`re like the bread with the olive oil on it? I think.

DR. OZ: Exactly.

BEHAR: I see.

DR. OZ: Dip a little here. A little bit of sex in the show and then I go home.

BEHAR: Well, you know, also I want to talk about getting older. You were mentioning menopause and everything else. The metabolism sort of gets very sluggish around 35 and 40, even then, right?

DR. OZ: It`s true. But I think the sexual famine which is what we have in America is more than just physical problems, it`s also emotionally how we deal with it. We have to set ourselves up to win at this game a little bit.

BEHAR: The sexual famine, you call it. Tiger Woods doesn`t have sexual famine.

DR. OZ: No he doesn`t.

BEHAR: He`s the using it all up over there so these don`t have any.

DR. OZ: Yes, sexual bulimia and then sexual anorexics.

BEHAR: Well a lot of it is about lack of desire I was reading lack of a desire, sex. How do you fix that? After you`re married several years, the thing starts to dwindle down. Let`s face it.

DR. OZ: Well I don`t know if you have to face it. A quarter of older Americans, mature Americans still have great sex. In fact, they`re more relaxed about it. They`ve gotten through the growing years; they`ve got the kids a little bit older now.

BEHAR: How old are you talking about?

DR. OZ: I`m talking about people over the age of 60, a quarter them have sex routinely. As if they were young people. So the question we should be asking ourselves is why aren`t all of us having sex when we`re 65 or 70 but how come a quarter of us are still going strong? And here is my secret.

BEHAR: What about Viagra? I mean that`s the reason that they`re having more sex, isn`t it?

DR. OZ: Oh Viagara works.

BEHAR: In the nursing homes it`s like crack cocaine of the nursing homes.

DR. OZ: It is.

BEHAR: They`re jumping in and out of each other`s beds. You`re talking 60. How about 80?

DR. OZ: They do. People are getting picked up on the streets for making out in their 80s. And women now have an equivalent for Viagra that we think is going to work pretty well as well.

BEHAR: Really? Wait tell me a little bit about that.

DR. OZ: I`ll send you some.

BEHAR: What does it do?

DR. OZ: It works in a similar fashion and it stimulates the female libido as well but here`s the bigger story.

BEHAR: Really?

DR. OZ: Yes. You have to reinvent your relationships every seven years.

BEHAR: Every seven years?

DR. OZ: You to reconnect them. I don`t care if it`s work or even --

BEHAR: How do you do that?

DR. OZ: Well listen, figure out these women marry the men that they planned on marrying because they see his future and they want him to change and become that men. Men marry, naively the woman that they think they`ll have the rest of their life and she goes and changes. So you`ve got to people moving in opposite directions.

BEHAR: So the guy stays the same and the woman keeps changing, is that the issue?

DR. OZ: Yes. And both of them expected the opposite. So what we really wanted to be able to do is reconnect. And so every seven years when the chemical handcuffs of love come off - because when you first meet you got builtamin surges, the romantic love.

BEHAR: Oh, yeah, baby. I remember it well.

DR. OZ: Okay, then you have oxytocin because you`re coupling and bonding. You have the kids and all that stuff. Then seven years later when those chemical handcuffs are gone, you have to find other ways to be intimate with each other. I mean, you can start off with very simple ways. Things like cuddling, as crazy as they sound, work. Because if you take away the pressure to have sex and just let people get together, spend time close together physically.


DR. OZ: And it matures once a week, you got it made. But here is a story for a lot of couples to realize. There is a survival benefit, a survival benefit measured in about three years from going from the average amount of sex a year, which is once a week, to doubling that, twice a week. So if you can go from having sex 50 time a week to 110 times a week roughly you`ll increase your life expectancy, if you`re a guy.

BEHAR: So this means Tiger Woods will live to be 200 years old.

DR. OZ: He can probably outlive all of us probably. But you got to be monogamous loving.

BEHAR: Oh it has - so there`s the caviar.

DR. OZ: There`s the caviar.

BEHAR: I see.

DR. OZ: And by the way for women it`s not the amount, it`s the quality.

BEHAR: Of course, we know that.

DR. OZ: You know that.

BEHAR: Which brings me to the next point. I read yesterday in the paper that they have decided that the G spot does not exist. Which I knew. I was going to have a search party to locate mine. I mean, the G spot, who made that up? Some man made that up, right?

DR. OZ: I actually disagree with the paper.

BEHAR: You think it does exist?

DR. OZ: Yes.

BEHAR: How do you know that?

DR. OZ: Well it`s not just from personal experience. I`ll speak honestly about the female reproductive system.

BEHAR: Yes, sure, go ahead.

DR. OZ: So the male prostate doesn`t disappear in the women. Where does it go? Where does the prostate -- the testes are the ovaries, right?


DR. OZ: The penis becomes the clitoris, right?


DR. OZ: So there are some parallels in men and women.

BEHAR: Okay.

DR. OZ: What happened to the prostate? Where did it go?

BEHAR: I don`t know.

DR. OZ: You never thought about that before?

BEHAR: Where is it?

DR. OZ: It becomes the G spot.

BEHAR: The prostate becomes the G spot?

DR. OZ: All the nerves in the prostate --

BEHAR: Then why -- where is it?

DR. OZ: Right where it`s supposed to be on the back wall of the uterus -- of the vagina. But here`s the catch. It`s not a one little dime size that you can put your finger in there and find. That`s not how it works.


DR. OZ: It`s a plexus of nerves, it`s a whole region of the female entire the front wall of the vagina and if you stimulate that area, guess what you secrete, material that is just like prosthetic secretions.

BEHAR: Really?

DR. OZ: Yes. So I`m quite certain it exists there. Whether you can stimulate it in all women, that`s -- why are you dubious about that?

BEHAR: Because I mean it takes too long to find it. You might as well just go for the outside action. You know what I`m saying?

DR. OZ: What do you mean by that?

BEHAR: You know what I mean. Let`s not get any - go over there, do this. Okay. So, you say that people -- we have a little time for this. What are some of the deadly sins that people are committing health wise, I guess?

DR. OZ: Seven big deadly sin.

BEHAR: What are they?

DR. OZ: First get up in the morning because you need to stretch.

BEHAR: You need to stretch?

DR. OZ: Yes.

BEHAR: Like a cat?

DR. OZ: Like a cat. Or taichi which is what they do in China. Or do a little yoga.

BEHAR: I did do that this morning.

DR. OZ: Simple stuff, yes, yes. And the reason why you want to do that is because it gets you started in the right step. But it also avoids the minor aches and pains that wipe you out.

Number two, you got to have breakfast.

BEHAR: Right.

DR. OZ: Number three, you got to where you want to be on time. Let me emphasize that for a reason. People who get places late and a lot of doctors like, I have to admit on this as well, we work on surgical standard time, not eastern standard time, or a specific standard time.

BEHAR: Right.

DR. OZ: And what happens when you`re late, you lose control of your life. You don`t control the agenda anymore because you got there late, you`re on the defensive. So you from now on, you`re New Year`s resolution ought to be if you`re not five minutes early, you`re late.


DR. OZ: And that puts you into control what`s going on during the day.

BEHAR: So stretch, eat breakfast, and make sure that you`re on time?

DR. OZ: And that`s the start for the day.

BEHAR: Okay we`re not done with Dr. Oz because this is just great stuff. So we`ll be back with your questions when we come back. So stay there.


BEHAR: We`re back with Dr. Oz. I have some questions on Twitter.

DR. OZ: Fire away.

BEHAR: Well first of all, someone want to know there`s a rumor that your kids did not get flu shots or swine flu shots is that true?

DR. OZ: That`s true, they did not.

BEHAR: Do you not believe in them for the kids or what?

DR. OZ: No, I would have vaccinated my kids but you know I - I`m in a happy marriage and my wife who makes most of the important decisions as most couples have in their lives.


DR. OZ: Who absolutely refuses. And listen the kids are pretty healthy. We actually think two of them caught swine flu very early on anyway. So there`s no point vaccinating them again. And you know -

BEHAR: What do you, on that same subject, what do you think about this controversy that`s going around about vaccinations and autism and other little things that happens to kids?

DR. OZ: I think kids like the canary and the coal mine. That they are more susceptible to some of the toxins that maybe our generation was able to overcome. That`s why we have a lot more allergies now. Perhaps one of the reason why we have more autism. But I don`t think it`s just the vaccine.


DR. OZ: Although, I don`t want to ignore the potential role they have. So what we do with our kids is we spread the vaccine out.

BEHAR: Right, so why don`t the doctors just do that?

DR. OZ: It`s a lot more expensive and kids fall through the cracks.


DR. OZ: It`s hard enough to get in there once a year for the shots and imagine if you have to bring them in every other month. And those two factors are a big issue.

BEHAR: I see.

DR. OZ: Plus, we have no evidence at all, Joy, none, that they actually cause autism.

BEHAR: Right.

DR. OZ: And a lot of doctors very reasonably say, listen, why you want to spend more money, cause more hardship for the kids and their families, if we don`t think it`s really a problem. But you know if you want to be cautious, you can do what we did.

BEHAR: Well, I don`t remember getting this many shots when I was a kid. Or my daughter getting as many shots.

DR. OZ: We did Joy. When you and I were -

BEHAR: She got the measles on her own. She got chicken pox on her on, so what?

DR. OZ: We got exposed to ten vaccines when we were kids. Children today are now getting closer to 30. So there`s a big difference between the exposure amounts and, plus, we have a much purer environment that we grew up in and compared to what kids are exposed to today.

BEHAR: That - that brings me to this question, is there anything wrong with constantly using hand sanitizers? Don`t we need to be exposed to germs once in a while?

DR. OZ: Well hand sanitizers are the best of all the options because they`re not anti microbial which means they`re not going to stimulate resistant bacteria. And listen, the biggest side effect of using hand sanitizers, your hands will get chapped. So you know, use it with a cream at the same time.

BEHAR: But are they effective?

DR. OZ: Hand sanitizers are very effective, oh no, they are very effective. They kill viruses better than anything else we have in the hospitals. The hospital by the way, I still operate, we use hand sanitizers all the time.


DR. OZ: 30, 40 times a day I`ll be using hand sanitizers.

BEHAR: Ok I`m going fast because I have so many things to ask you. This new body scan idea that they`re using at the airports, can that be dangerous radiation wise.

DR. OZ: We`ll it`s got a very small fraction of the radiation that a chest X-ray will give you. And it`s about equivalent to the amount of radiation that you get after an hour in the sky.

BEHAR: Uh-huh. Not too bad.

DR. OZ: So I don`t think they`re very toxic for that reason. I`m very much against some of the searching tactics we are using in general. Because I don`t think they are very effective. And I`m very concerned that a lot of security measures that are used are primarily designed to make you and I think we were safer.

BEHAR: Well you mean the taking off the shoes and the liquids.

DR. OZ: Yes, yes.

BEHAR: But the body scanners would help. I believe in those.

DR. OZ: Maybe. But they are pretty innovative people. And I can think right at the top of my head of a couple of different ways to blow a plane out of the sky that wouldn`t be protected by a body scanner. I`m not trying to do that but I`m not sure -

BEHAR: It would be harder, you want to at least make it more difficult. Although there are body cavities. Hello.

DR. OZ: There are body cavities. And there are things we may not even know exist right now that people can smartly bring out of the plane.

BEHAR: They seem to always be a little bit ahead of us sometimes.

DR. OZ: Sometimes.

BEHAR: Anyway thank you so much, Dr. Oz.

DR. OZ: Yes, yes hurry.

BEHAR: I think you are just miraculous.

DR. OZ: Enchante.

BEHAR: And thanks to all my guests for joining me tonight. Good night everybody. Stay healthy.