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Joy Behar Page
Lap Dancing Teachers; Church of the Naked; Celebrities in Rehab
Aired February 26, 2010 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
JOY BEHAR, HOST: Tonight on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, two Canadian teachers are suspended for dirty dancing in front of their students. Well, that never happened when I was a teacher although one time a 74-year-old janitor asked me to (INAUDIBLE) but that`s about it really.
Then was I too rough on "The Jersey Shore" kids? I`ll make it up to them. From now on I`ll wear my hair in a Snooki and let my participles dangle, just for them.
And she got famous playing a smart-aleck window dresser from the Bronx but now she`s starring in Broadway as a smart-aleck movie star from the south. Valerie Harper, very smart-aleck, joins me.
That and more right now.
Oh, these lap dancing teachers, naked people in church and the cast of "The Jersey Shore", it was like the good, the bad and the ugly this week in the news. The only thing missing -- the good.
Joining me now are Ramona Singer, star of Bravo`s "The Real Housewives of New York City". Her new jewelry line -- oh, yes -- debuts on HSN March 2nd. Also with us is E! Network`s Ben Lyons, who I love. And I love this other one, too, comedian Maureen Langan, who often works with me on the road.
Let`s start with these two Canadian teachers who have been suspended after performing a lap dance during a school event. Take a look at their dirty dancing.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(CANADIAN TEACHERS LAP DANCING)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: You know what -- I always hated gym.
RAMONA SINGER, REALITY TV STAR: You tried to get out of it, right?
BEHAR: I mean what was that? Was that inappropriate, mildly disturbing or really bad and what?
MAUREEN LANGAN, COMEDIAN: It was surprising. It was surprising because when I think of a female gym teacher, I think of another female gym teacher. I didn`t think of that dichotomy.
SINGER: That was a shocking thing.
BEHAR: That`s a big point. What do you think, Ben?
BEN LYONS, E! NETWORK: I`m all for teachers relating to their students and sort of humanizing themselves in a way, but this was really crossing the line. You have to remember that whether it`s in Canada or here in the States or around the world really, teen pregnancy is a big issue. Kids having sex unprotected in high school is a big issue and I think that kind of condones and encourages that and it`s just really not appropriate at all.
BEHAR: Ramona, how about a reality show so you think you can schtook (ph)?
SINGER: I don`t` know. I think it was totally inappropriate. It was. I mean who`s monitoring the teachers? Usually we`re sending the children to school. They`re being monitored. Now do we need adults to monitor the teachers?
BEHAR: Yes. Exactly. Go ahead Maureen.
LANGAN: No, I say it`s a pep rally. The thing is -- the interesting thing -- they get suspended, you know what they`re going to be doing during their suspension. You`re suspending these two so they can have more time?
BEHAR: I know but they can`t teach anymore.
(CROSSTALK)
LANGAN: They can teach sex ed.
LYONS: If you`re a student in one of their classes, how are you going to take a teacher seriously when they say to turn your homework in on time or to do a certain reading or assignment when you`ve seen them do a really awkward lap dance, by the way? As far as lap dances go, it wasn`t even really a good one.
BEHAR: It wasn`t that good. But wasn`t it fascinating that it`s Canada? You always think of the Canadians as so straitlaced. All that stuff.
LANGAN: I performed in Canada and you watch the television there, they seem more open than we do.
SINGER: They just (INAUDIBLE) the French.
LYONS: They call them Mounties. I`m sorry, that`s terrible I had to do it. I`m sorry.
BEHAR: That`s all right.
A church in Virginia -- let`s do another story -- is bringing a new twist to the old-time religion. Everyone at this church is nude, including the pastor. Take a look at this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Let`s hear exactly what you have (INAUDIBLE).
We ask these things in Jesus name, amen.
Some of the biggest moments in Jesus` life he was naked. When he was born he was naked, when he was crucified he was naked and when he arose, he left his clothes in the tomb and he was naked. If God made us that way, how can that be wrong?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: You know it`s a nice idea but where do they hang the rosary beads? What do you think? Do you think this is going to catch on around the world, a nude church ceremony?
LANGAN: Not my Irish Catholic Church.
Are you kidding me? We grew up -- our God didn`t like nudity, he liked self-loathing, shame and guilt. That`s the kind of God that we had - -
SINGER: That`s not the same God.
LYONS: I would like, you know, meeting a nice church girl -- I don`t know. It`s taking this to a whole new level, the body is a temple I suppose. But I don`t know if this is really going to catch on.
BEHAR: Well, they could do it in a temple also.
SINGER: I can`t imagine that you`re in church and I can`t imagine seeing all these naked people. I don`t think I could concentrate on praying.
BEHAR: No beauties either, I would like to point out.
LANGAN: It would make it scary to give the sign of peace. You don`t know where those hands have been, right? You don`t want to do that. Come on.
LYONS: I just think being in church and seeing a lot of people clothed or unclothed is kind of a rare these days. People aren`t practicing the way they did years ago. And so if it gets people into church --
BEHAR: Well, let me read this. The church is part of a year-round nudist resort and they say business is up 20 percent, even in this economy. So I guess naked is good for business, right?
SINGER: Obviously.
LANGAN: I was reading the article and they had said that the parishioners don`t know who is wealthy, who is poor, who the plumbers are. And I`m thinking of course you know who the plumbers are, you`re seeing everybody`s crack.
BEHAR: When we come back, we have another little conversation going on. We`ll be back in 60 seconds. Don`t go away.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with my panel of pop culture pundits. This week the cast of "Jersey Shore" came to "The View", my other show, and I was crowned with my very own Guido nickname. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I was sitting back stage. I did hear some of Joy`s opinions, so I`m going to go with "The Assumption".
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: "The Assumption". Do you like that?
BEHAR: It`s liked the Blessed Virgin Mary, "The Assumption".
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Isn`t that what that means, "The Assumption" when the Virgin Mary rose into heaven. Right.
SINGER: That`s right.
BEHAR: So I don`t mind that name. I was a very nerdy kid when I was young. I used to wear Bermuda shorts and I used to go to the theater and I was surrounded by kids like this who wanted to beat the living crap out of me. That`s why I don`t like them.
LANGAN: But they can`t move their arms with all those steroids. They weren`t going to hurt you.
BEHAR: Good point, Maureen.
LYONS: I think you have to look at this show and the franchise in two different ways. I kind of equate watching the actual episodes of "The Jersey Shore" to kind of looking at something like on "The Animal Planet", how people are peacocking and mating rituals.
BEHAR: Why is The Situation calling you, Ben?
LYONS: Oh, you heard about that?
BEHAR: Yes, I heard about that, he`s calling you.
LYONS: He`s trying to be on Hollywood so he called the kids from the e-mail. I don`t know how it happened.
BEHAR: Maybe he`s coming on to you, ever think of that?
LYONS: I never met him before. To each their own, but I`ve never met him before. And I wish him all the best, but I think people have a problem, myself included, with them continuing this level of fame that they`ve achieved.
SINGER: I think they`re very low-brow. And my husband is Italian, and I just think it just gives a bad connotation to Italian-Americans.
BEHAR: No kidding.
SINGER: And I don`t like it.
LANGAN: But you know I grew up in New Jersey and people think all of New Jersey is like that. I went to the Jersey shore growing up, and you would bypass Belmar or certain areas where all the Guidos were in their baby pools with their neon and you`re like -- and they made me feel better about myself frankly Joy.
BEHAR: Oh you did. You feel superior?
LANGAN: Yes. The daughter of the garbage man felt superior.
LYONS: The show itself is an interesting look at a subculture of youth culture in a way. And it`s sort of documenting this ridiculous lifestyle.
BEHAR: I think they call it youth cub culture (ph).
SINGER: But I don`t get it. I turned it on and I turned it right off. I just didn`t like it.
BEHAR: Is there a life -- you`re on a reality show. Is there any kind of life after a reality show, because where are they going after this? Come on.
The reason they`re calling you Ben is because they want to --
LYONS: Because they`re going nowhere calling me? Thanks a lot Joy.
(CROSSTALK)
SINGER: Well you know what? The thing is that you can use a reality show as a platform for your businesses and it helps you create new businesses which is what I did and some of my other cast mates. But I think they`re just doing it for no reason and I think it`s silly.
LYONS: Get ready, we`re going to see Snooking (ph) for love. We`re going to Ronnie`s workout video. We`re going to see every desperate spin- off that you can imagine in this.
BEHAR: All right. Well, good luck to them.
What is your advice to them, Maureen? Do you have any advice?
LANGAN: Move to another state and stop giving Jersey a bad name.
BEHAR: Jersey gets a bad rap all around, yes.
LANGAN: It does. You know I read books and where does that get me? These people, shnooki (ph) -- what is she doing. She gets loaded and falls down.
BEHAR: She wants to be a veterinarian.
LANGAN: Oh please. Does she even know what that means?
BEHAR: I don`t know. Whatever.
All right in France -- let`s move to another country -- in France, new anti-smoking ads aimed at the young are causing a stink because, well, let`s just look at these ads and you can see.
Do you see what that is? Somebody -- it looks like -- I don`t know what it looks like. Some man is holding their head and they have a cigarette that seems to be connected to the man`s fly. That`s all I have to say.
SINGER: It looks like forced oral sex and they had the cigarette there but you never know it`s about a cigarette. They`re not getting the message across properly. I think it`s terrible.
LYONS: Anti-smoking campaigns around the world have always relied on shock value but I think this misses the point of it, because you look at the ad and you can`t tell what it`s for.
BEHAR: Exactly.
LANGAN: It`s so controversial right now and everybody is talking about it and every major newspaper and magazine right now. So they`re really getting the --
(CROSSTALK)
SINGER: I don`t think they`re saying the message though. They`re not getting the message across.
LANGAN: But people are talking about it, which is very interesting to me.
BEHAR: Do you think -- does it make the connection between smoking and nonsmoking or is it about sex?
LANGAN: Total shock value. And you know what`s interesting? The tobacco companies are really upset because they don`t want to be aligned with pedophilia. They`re much more comfortable being aligned with assisted suicide. It`s much better for them. That`s what they`d much rather.
(CROSSTALK)
LANGAN: Of course they are.
BEHAR: It targets teenagers. So do you think that this will make teenagers stop smoking?
SINGER: No.
LYONS: I don`t think that will make teenagers -- especially --
LANGAN: They just want to inhale.
LYONS: Why don`t you show a picture of Snooki smoking and say you`ll look like this if you smoke so stop. I think that will be far more effective. No? I like that.
BEHAR: You know, I just did -- you mentioned Snooki. Vera Wang the designer has created a whole style around Snooki`s hairdo. She has models going on the runway with the Snooki-do.
SINGER: Really?
LANGAN: Are you serious?
BEHAR: I`m serious. So it really -- there it is. There she is. There`s the hairdo.
I mean it is -- look at her.
LANGAN: Can you believe this? I know the proper use of semi-colons and this girl has a TV show. You know. Come on.
BEHAR: I know, I know. Listen.
(CROSSTALK)
Thanks, everyone, very much.
Up next, the latest on Charlie Sheen`s rehab stint.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Is everybody but me in rehab these days? Actor Charlie Sheen has just entered "rehab for preventative measures," quote, unquote.
But is this to prevent the star of "Two and a Half Men" from going to a bar or from going to jail for two and a half to five?
Joining me are Natalie Thomas, deputy news editor for "Us Weekly"; and Dr. Reef Karim, a psychiatrist and addiction specialist. Welcome to the show.
Natalie, let me start with you. He checks in on Tuesday. And wasn`t this an expected thing for him to do?
NATALIE THOMAS, DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR, US WEEKLY: Absolutely. They had the problem on December 25th Christmas night; there`s been problems since then. We know -- it`s well documented that Charlie Sheen has had problems for years and years with drugs and alcohol and been in rehab numerous times before.
So it was expected I think for him to save his career and for him to save his marriage for the future of having his children with him. He needed to do this.
BEHAR: But Dr. Karim, he checked in for -- as a preventative measure. What does that exactly mean and is it a common thing?
DR. REEF KARIM, ADDICTION SPECIALIST: Well, it means a lot of things. I mean, it could mean I want to stay out of jail. It could mean I`m having using dreams, I`m craving drugs, I`m craving alcohol, I know I`m going to relapse at some point. It could mean I`ve already relapsed. Or it could mean -- you know what, it`s a good move for me to just chill out and go somewhere, where nobody is going to bother me and I can just work on myself.
BEHAR: Right.
Now, it was alleged and reported that he was drinking the night of the incident with his wife where he held a knife to her and all that --
KARIM: Yes.
BEHAR: -- and also the night before his wife checked into a rehab.
THOMAS: Yes, absolutely.
BEHAR: Ok, couldn`t he go to jail for that?
THOMAS: He is -- he was just actually charged with a, you know, felony and he faces one to three years in prison. So this is not a -- this is not slap on the wrist. This is not some probation time.
BEHAR: Right.
THOMAS: He faces real serious jail time here. I think that was probably another move for him to enter into the rehab facility.
BEHAR: Doctor, they say that he`s being rehabbed for two weeks. Big deal.
KARIM: Yes.
BEHAR: I mean, Tiger Woods was in for four weeks. I don`t know if it helps. It seems like a very short time, Dr. Karim. What do you think?
KARIM: Yes, you know there`s a couple things to keep in mind here, Joy. Addiction is a chronic medical illness. So what does that mean? That means like -- like diabetes or like asthma. If a diabetic doesn`t take their insulin, they`re going to have problems. They`re going to have -- their disease is going to worsen.
If an alcoholic or a drug user does not check in, does not go to meetings, does not take their meds, does not see their doctor or their therapist or gets completely overwhelmed by some kind of change in their life, like a domestic problem, a lot of times they need to kind of get that booster, that treatment booster of checking back in.
Now, I agree with you, two weeks is a really, really short time period. And something that really bothers me is people are like, oh, yes, I`m just going to go in for 28 days into rehab and be automatically cured like they`re going to Gypsy Lube or like they`re going to the mechanic. And it`s not like that.
This is a life-long process. And you really got to be monitored and make sure this doesn`t like root up in your life to cause you lots of problems throughout your life.
BEHAR: Right, so well, you know, he`s been in and out. So what should he really be doing if he really wants to cure himself --
KARIM: So when I treat people --
BEHAR: -- or any of these people who have this addiction?
KARIM: -- right, when I`m treating people, it`s not about a cure, it`s about monitoring. And usually that means after care; long, long after care. You check into rehab and you know, and some people think rehab is a joke. You can actually do good work in rehab, but that`s just the beginning of your long journey of addiction treatment.
The rest of it is after care, which is a good therapist, good meetings, a good doctor.
BEHAR: And AA meeting, AA meetings, right?
KARIM: Yes.
BEHAR: Yes.
KARIM: That`s what I mean, AA meetings, NA meetings, CA meetings, just an area where you`re with people like you that are -- have the same goal in mind and you have a community around you of people trying to be sober. That`s really where the meat is, it -- it`s in staying in a sober community.
BEHAR: And his wife, Brooke. Now, Brooke was in rehab at something called the Canyon in Malibu.
KARIM: Right.
THOMAS: Yes.
BEHAR: Which is pretty fancy and it`s no motel six we`re talking about.
THOMAS: No, no.
KARIM: No, it`s a good rehab. I know it very well and it`s a legit good rehab.
BEHAR: But she left because of a security breach or something and now she`s in a private home facility that provides high-end rehab services. What is that?
KARIM: Yes.
BEHAR: Is that like a spa, Natalie?
THOMAS: All of these rehab facilities -- and I`m not here to knock them by any means -- but these are, like you said, these are you know, five-star facilities that these celebrities are used to this kind of lifestyle. And so they go to these centers, which not only do they have treatment but they also have, you know, spa services and you know horse therapy sessions and all these kinds of crazy things.
But yes, she was in Malibu, the Canyon --
BEHAR: Right.
THOMAS: -- and left on Monday because there was a security breach. She`s now at another place in L.A. She wants to stay close so she can see her children.
BEHAR: But they`re bringing the children in, I think.
THOMAS: They are bringing the children to see her, that`s right.
BEHAR: Eleven-month old twins she has and the twins are going to be brought in.
Doctor, what do you think about that? The fact that they`re bringing --
KARIM: Yes.
BEHAR: -- these babies in there?
KARIM: Well, first off, this makes a major point and the major point is entitlement. Entitlement, whether you`re a celebrity or you`re non-celebrity, the ego plays tricks on you. And your brain plays tricks on you when you`re under the influence of a drug or basically being an addict.
So what ends up happening is like, "This place, yes, I know it`s a 5-star place. But it`s not good enough for me." Or security is too weird at this place. Or, you know what, the broccoli tastes bad at this place or whatever. They`ll come up with whatever they need to come up with to get out of there.
What it is, is it`s just resistance to treatment. So when you get like a private home kind of facility, and I`m pretty sure I know which facility or how that`s working. It`s not necessarily a bad thing, but what it is, is it`s not going to have the same structure. It`s not going to have the same group. It`s not going to have any of that same stuff and that could be bad for her.
BEHAR: Ok, guys. Sit tight.
When we come back I want your take on Lindsay Lohan`s plans to move across the pond.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: So Lindsay Lohan has announced that she`s going to move to London. Is there something wrong with the Scotch and cocaine here? That`s what I want to know.
Still with me are Natalie Thomas and Dr. Reef Karim.
All right. This is what Lindsay Lohan wrote on her Twitter page which is now the main source of information for everything.
THOMAS: This is how celebrities are breaking news daily.
KARIM: Yes.
BEHAR: It`s unbelievable. She says, "Moving to the U.K. is in my near future. Better deejay, music and Paris is just a tunnel away." And so is Lord`s.
Ok, doctor, she admitted to cocaine use and three rehab visits. Could a move to another city help the girl?
KARIM: Yes and no. Yes, because if you`re looking for a new start, new friends, new look on life, absolutely. But no if you`re looking for new deejays, new nightclubs, new shady guys or girls and new drugs. No. Based on what she`s saying, if you`re going to actually say, "I`m moving to the U.K. to check out new deejays," that is not a good sign for your recovery.
I mean come on.
BEHAR: I mean I have heard celebrities doing something like this. I think it was Carol Burnett I read years ago, sent one of her -- moved to Hawaii to get out of L.A. where all the drugs were. And Angela Lansbury moved all the way to Ireland one time with her family to get them away from drugs.
It`s not a new idea. It actually could work for some people.
THOMAS: A move is not necessarily a bad idea, but to move to London and for the deejays. Her -- you know her ex Samantha Ronson was also a deejay. So we know she has a thing for deejays. She was just recently in London going out to clubs and that`s one of the main reasons that she has now this idea in her head she would like to move to London.
And she also had parts that concern me the most in that interview is that she said that she suffers from alcohol addiction and drug addiction and she`s been in rehab three times, been arrested twice, but that she still drinks and that she knows her limits now. This is a 23-year-old girl who --
BEHAR: That is so delusional isn`t it, doctor, when people who drink say they know their limits? I mean, really.
KARIM: What does alcohol do? It makes you more impulsive. It makes you think all sorts of crazy things that you don`t think.
BEHAR: It makes you have sex with your husband sometimes.
KARIM: Yes. Listen, alcohol saves a lot of marriages, let me tell you that.
BEHAR: That`s true.
Ok. Finally, Kelly Osbourne has landed on the "Us Weekly" cover after losing more than 40 pounds. She talks about her struggles with weight loss in your magazine. How much has she lost and how did she do it?
THOMAS: She`s lost 42 pounds and the reason that she`s coming forward with this now and that she`s on the cover is because she`s done it the healthy way. She`s yo-yoed (ph) in the past and done every kind of crash diet. She says she starved herself. She said she went on the Atkins. She did all, everything that we`ve heard of in the past.
But she`s actually now -- it was triggered by going on "Dancing with the Stars" and working out a lot and lost a lot of weight and she`s maintained that by taking ballet bar classes which is a combination of ballet and Pilates in L.A. And really eating sensibly as we all know is really the only trick.
BEHAR: She said that she took more hell (ph) for being fat than for being a drug addict. I thought that was a great quote.
THOMAS: Which is really sad, what does that say about our society and our culture.
BEHAR: Exactly. Ok. Thank you very much. Thanks, Dr. Karim.
Up next, "The Jersey Shore" cast stops by my other show today. I`ll have all the juicy details after this break.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: The MTV show "Jersey Shore" is heading to a new, warmer location to tape their second season. Just what the culture needed, a show that makes "Growing Up Gotti" look like "I, Claudius." Here now to discuss this and other news are actor comedian Hal Sparks, TV and radio for WBLS New York City Egypt Sherrod, and celebrity stylist extraordinaire and host of the "Robert Verdi Show" on Logo, Robert Verdi. Now the cast of "Jersey Shore" stopped by "The View" today and they gave me a nickname. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MIKE, JERSEY SHORE: Now I was sitting backstage, I did hear some of Joy`s opinions, so I`m going to go with "The Assumption."
SHERRI SHEPHERD, THE VIEW: You like that?
BEHAR: It`s like the blessed Virgin Mary, the assumption.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: You know, from now on I would like you to refer to me as the assumption.
EGYPT SHERROD, TV AND RADIO PERSONALITY: I would have figured you more as "the fact."
HAL SPARKS, COMEDIAN: Or the conclusion.
BEHAR: Better than the conniption. OK, now what do you think about this show?
ROBERT VERDI, CELEBRITY STYLIST: I`m from Jersey. I`m totally offended.
BEHAR: You are? Why? You`re not Italian. What do you have to be offended by?
VERDI: I think that it poorly represents -- I think every poorly represents Jersey.
SHERROD: Wait a minute, I pay taxes.
VERDI: Except for you and me. I think it`s a beautiful state and I think it`s poorly represented when you put characters that --
SPARKS: I think the word "shore" is what it gives it a little bit of room because the shore is known for this kind of behavior whatever and I think it`s kind of a sort of cut out the stupid parts and only show you the best of these people.
BEHAR: What about Bruce Springsteen is from Jersey, is from Asbury Park and all of that. And he elevates the state a lot.
SPARKS: He`s a better situation.
BEHAR: Oh yeah. The situation, by the way, turns out to be the MENSA member of the group. He`s the smartest one.
Let me say, any show.
SPARKS: You`re supposed to do air quotes when you say that. That`s legally.
SHERROD: Any show that is going to have someone named Snooki on it, you know it`s going to be scandalous. It`s a train wreck that you have to watch.
VERDI: It`s a cross between a Snuggie and a cookie and it sounds like you have crumbs on a blanket.
SHERROD: Is that the official answer?
SPARKS: I think then that`s an apt combination for her name.
VERDI: And the situation sounds like something that the doctor tells you when you`re in his office.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Now wait a minute, what about Snooki`s hair. You`re the stylist. What does up there? Does she have like Pauly`s testicles up there? What`s up there?
SPARKS: She`s got one of those bump things that they sell in an infomercial buried under her head but I don`t know that necessarily that it`s not actually sort of a party purse because "Jersey Shore" girls, you can click it up and that`s where they hide their I.D., one credit card, and whatever drugs they need for the evening.
BEHAR: You know that Vera Wang, the great designer, she has adopted that hair do, her models are now wearing the Snooki.
SHERROD: I`m sorry, that picture you just showed looks like a picture of me from fifth grade, the one that you never want to come back and everybody is circulating on Facebook.
VERDI: She`s trying to look taller.
BEHAR: She`s very short.
VERDI: She`s really short.
SPARKS: I cannot blame her for that. I spike my hair for the very same reason.
VERDI: She`s on little people, real hairstyles, which is a TLC show about midgets with high hair.
BEHAR: Midgets is not the appropriate term.
VERDI: I know, what is it?
BEHAR: Little people.
VERDI: That`s what I said, little people, big hair.
BEHAR: I did get in a serious question during "The View" interview. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: What`s your 20-year plan?
MIKE: After maybe doing maybe one or two more years of reality, if that, then I`ll move on to possibly acting, if that works out, I`ll try it out. If it doesn`t work out, then hey, I tried that, I shot for the stars. If you hit the moon, you`re still OK.
BEHAR: What`s plan B?
MIKE: Plan B is --
(END VIDEO CLIP)
VERDI: Oh, wow.
BEHAR: I guess the alphabet is a little rough.
SPARKS: If you get as far as pointing your plans go, these guys, I think they need to go find Puck from "The Real World" and ask him about 20-year reality.
BEHAR: What do you think they`re going to do when the series is over really? And they don`t care.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: One a time. Go ahead, Robert.
VERDI: They`re all trying to trademark their names. They`re all trying to actually get products behind them. The Situation wants to do a cologne and a lot of underwear. And I don`t know what Snooki --
BEHAR: That`s smart.
SHERROD: She`s going to come out with her own line of hair spray.
VERDI: But they would all be -- don`t you think they`re like Spencers gifts? They`re not like really --
SPARKS: They`re like Ozzy belt buckles as opposed to --
SHERROD: They`re going to go to parties and they`re going to get naked in swimming pools like what we just saw and try to make a couple of dollars. That`s what they`re going to do after this show.
BEHAR: I asked Snooki off the air what she was going to do and she told me she wants to be a veterinarian. I said, don`t you have to go to medical school for that? What planet are these people on?
SHERROD: Keep sharp things away from Snooki.
VERDI: She can be a dog groomer. She can make their hair.
BEHAR: Now that`s smart. Veterinarian no. Dog groomer, yes. That`s more in the realm of possibility.
OK let`s change the subject. Jay Leno will be reclaiming "The Tonight Show" next week and one of his first guest also be former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. What do you think about that booking?
VERDI: I`m completely offended because she`s from New Jersey. She can see Jersey from her house.
BEHAR: Do you think he`s going to get ratings?
SPARKS: He will absolutely get a rating bump. He would do that even if she wasn`t on the show which is kind of sort of the lamer part of it. Just because he`s coming back, he`s going to get a pop. But bringing her on, arguably she`s a mild pop star at this point. She`s certainly not a politician anymore.
BEHAR: No.
SPARKS: So the idea that he`s having her is more for that cross crowd. He can grab this crowd that would never be interested and the people who are like, I wonder what it`s going to be like when he goes back.
BEHAR: What do you think, Egypt?
SHERROD: He`s purposely doing it because everybody knows there`s a war of the words between Letterman and Palin and this is the way for him to get ratings. But if she really wanted to hurt Letterman, she would go on Letterman.
BEHAR: Why? Why? What do you mean?
SHERROD: Because she`s a train wreck. That`s my opinion. Isn`t this the show for opinions?
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: So you think she`s doing Leno to really hurt Letterman? Is that`s what it is?
SPARKS: She`s giving Letterman the best jokes, though. I think by her going on Leno, it just gives more ammo, here`s two people in sort of a suspect way quit a particular job and moved to a better job and now want it back.
VERDI: If she were really smart she would go on "Jersey Shore" because then she would look bright and Snooki could do her hair for her appearance on Leno.
BEHAR: Now there`s an idea. Now also Bristol Palin, in related news, will be making her acting debut. She`ll be appearing on the ABC Family series "The Secret Life of the American Teenager." She`s playing herself.
SHERROD: Wait a minute, how can you act and play yourself?
BEHAR: Well, she`s playing -- we think she`s playing Bristol Palin, coming on the show.
VERDI: Shouldn`t that be on "16 and Pregnant" on MTV?
BEHAR: Well, if she`s going to talk about abstinence and show up there, it`s ridiculous. As I said many time, the moose is out of the barn.
VERDI: She was never abstinent.
SHERROD: But is it scripted or reality?
VERDI: She went to school on time every day.
BEHAR: I don`t know, what is this? "The Secret Life of the American Teenager?" I don`t even know what it is. Here it is. The episode will deal with the consequences of teen pregnancy.
SPARKS: Of course it will.
SHERROD: But it`s a scripted show, right?
BEHAR: I guess so. Is this all the girl knows how to discuss is teen pregnancy?
SPARKS: I don`t know how she became the spokesperson for it. The irony, it`s like Sarah Palin wearing a "winners never quit" kind of a shirt. There`s an element where she`s the last person you should ask about this particular thing and if she does answer honestly, like don`t get pregnant when you`re a teenager, it just sounds horrible because she has a child. This was a mistake. We should have named him mistake. It`s very weird.
SHERROD: If Levi can make his money off of it, why can`t she make her money off of it?
SPARKS: He`s not walking around selling abstinence.
BEHAR: No, but he`s selling himself.
SPARKS: Right, that`s fine. He`s taking popularity.
BEHAR: She`s selling abstinence, he`s selling abs.
OK Lindsay Lohan did an interview recently and admitted to using cocaine and to being in rehab three times. She also said she came close to killing herself through a mix of alcohol and cocaine.
VERDI: I`m completely offended.
BEHAR: This girl -- she`s not from New Jersey but she sounds like she`s in a lot of trouble, this girl.
SHERROD: You know, here`s what bothers me the most. She said it`s OK to go to alcohol. Number one, she`s admitted to having gone to rehab not once, not twice, maybe three times or so.
BEHAR: We have three times.
SHERROD: But it`s OK to drink? I think if you ask anybody, it has to be a statistic somewhere --
VERDI: It`s not the program that she`s honoring, that`s for sure.
SHERROD: And if you do drugs you`re more likely to get addicted to alcohol. Is this really smart?
SPARKS: Yes, it`s a lifestyle element right now. She needs to remove herself -- anybody who`s got an addiction issue like that needs to remove themselves from the space and she was saying even in that line where she said, you know, alcohol is fine and one drink once in awhile, and she also said it`s not good to party that hard. The "that hard part" is the wrong part of that sentence. She does need to --
(CROSSTALK)
SPARKS: Her problem is prescription meds. The unspoken story of this is it`s prescription meds. This is the darkest part of Hollywood`s drug problems right now.
BEHAR: OK, thank you very much, all of you, for participating in this conversation. Don`t go away.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Believe me, Mary, I`m not putting you on. You were really good.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You know how competitive I am. I was just playing myself, Rhoda, cute, perky and dumb. Hey, you want to know how good you were? You were so good, I was filled with hate and envy.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You`re not just saying that?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No, I mean it.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Thanks.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That`s Valerie Harper as Rhoda Morgenstern on legendary sitcom, "The Mary Tyler Moore Show." She`s a four-time Emmy winner who is now starring on Broadway as Tallulah Bankhead in the new comedy "Looped." Valerie, welcome to the show.
VALERIE HARPER, ACTRESS: So happy to be with you again, Joy.
BEHAR: You were just great in the show.
HARPER: I can`t believe you came with your schedule on "The View" and this show, come to the theater and stayed the whole time, thank you very much.
BEHAR: I love the theater.
HARPER: Well, it loves you.
BEHAR: Now for people out there who don`t remember who Tallulah Bankhead was, because we have a lot of people who were born in 1970.
HARPER: Exactly. Some of those kids do know her from the "Lucy and Desi Hour" that they Googled and so forth.
BEHAR: We`re going to show a clip of that so that people can be reminded. But she was a pioneer of Hollywood bad behavior. I`ll tell you why. She slept with everyone regardless of gender.
HARPER: Correct.
BEHAR: She was an alcoholic.
HARPER: Correct.
BEHAR: She did drugs.
HARPER: Correct.
BEHAR: She had a foul mouth and if she was alive she could be a Republican politician. She was an inspiration for three plays of Tennessee Williams.
HARPER: That`s right. Actually four, yes. I think there was a personal feeling that people had for her that she was free in a very unfree time.
BEHAR: Yes.
HARP0ER: She embraced life and had this amazing wit and a real candor. You have a page out of Tallulah`s book, I mean that`s the basis of your humor, in my view, it`s that thing of saying it what it is. And you always say, "I`m sorry, but." And when you hear the "I`m sorry," you know a massive cleaver is coming down of truth and humor.
BEHAR: What do you think she would be making of what`s going on right now, you know, Tiger and John Edwards and all the scandals that we keep reading about?
HARPER: Well you know what the thing with the scandals is and why everyone is talking and I see everybody covering it. It`s the secrecy. It`s almost like if you come out and -- do you remember Billie Jean King?
BEHAR: Of course.
HARPER: Well I mean not remember her, but when that scandal that she was gay and she was married. Pat Kingsley, her publicist immediately called a press conference and he just came out and said it. And the story was truncated.
BEHAR: They said that she was gay? I don`t remember that.
HARPER: Oh, yeah.
BEHAR: Good PR firm.,
HARPER: He was sitting with her, oh yeah, and because with Clinton, I think, it`s that having to hide, then everybody keeps digging. That`s the thing with John Edwards. And as far as Tiger is concerned, he didn`t corner the market on infidelity for men or women. And really it`s a family tragedy, but it`s just that he`s this brilliant, extraordinary golfer.
BEHAR: Otherwise we would not be interested in him.
HARPER: Not a bit.
BEHAR: No, he`s boring. His apology was the biggest snore, I thought.
HARPER: Well, I think he did what he felt he should do.
BEHAR: And very robotic.
HARPER: I thought, why are we -- what`s the big deal? He`s not an office holder. He didn`t ask us to believe that, he just got caught and as I said, a lot of guys do that, and women as well. So there`s a kind of hypocrisy. But it`s like the television and media has made us a village. It really has made us a small community.
BEHAR: That`s right. But what were you mentioning about Billie Jean? I mean, the industry still is a little strange about gays in Hollywood.
HARPER: Oh, yes.
BEHAR: They`re still not -- I mean, Ellen DeGeneres came out and she was bigger than ever. She`s been bigger --
HARPER: Which is great.
BEHAR: But it was rough for her in the beginning.
HARPER: I think so, sure.
BEHAR: When you were doing " Mary Tyler Moore Show" and the "Rhoda Show," I don`t think anybody was out.
HARPER: No, I don`t think they were either. In fact, we did a show, one of the longest laughs in our -- I`m not maybe -- Chuckles the Clown maybe after, but up to that point when a boyfriend of Mary`s liked me and then Phyllis says, it`s her brother and she says -- I said I know he`s going to marry you. I said marry me? We`re running around together. She said, no, no, no. I said I`m not marrying Ben. She says why, he`s intelligent, he`s educated, he`s fun. And I said, he`s gay.
The audience laughed for a full minute out of surprise. And they had to cut the laugh. Jim Brooks told me we had to cut the laugh down because it was too long. But that was at that time. And then Phyllis` reply was, oh, Rhoda, I`m so relieved. Better gay than marrying Rhoda was the joke.
But they all laughed. It was so interesting. But I`m just saying that, Joy, because you have touched the -- even in the `70s, it`s a civil matter. We can`t take a group of citizens and say you`re going to be treated differently.
BEHAR: You`re talking about gay marriage now?
HARPER: Yes, and rights and don`t tell, don`t ask. The armed forces are full of gays and some of them speak Arabic. Get them in there, for god`s sakes.
BEHAR: Well they dismissed a bunch of them because they were gay and they are the ones who could discern what the terrorists were saying. It`s so stupid.
HARPER: But see, there`s no issue with Barney Frank or Barbara Mikulski. They have been out for so long and they`re just doing their jobs. And I think that we`re in a better place now and we have a better chance. But Tallulah was always there.
BEHAR: Yes, she was out there.
HARPER: In a time when things were so covered.
BEHAR: Well now you find out Joan Crawford was probably bisexual and Edith Head, a lot of people. Not for nothing, but why not. The other interesting thing is that your show was in the `70s, "Rhoda and Mary," and it was right on the cusp of the second wave of the women`s movement.
HARPER: That`s right.
BEHAR: And you know, in a certain way -- now it took us a long time. We had Hillary Clinton running for president, Sarah Palin running for vice president, Geraldine Ferrero back in the `80s ran.
HARPER: Shirley Chisholm before that.
BEHAR: Shirley Chisholm ran for what?
HARPER: For president.
BEHAR: She did?
HARPER: Way back, yes.
BEHAR: I didn`t even know that. OK, do you think we`ve made enough progress and is Sarah Palin, I want to talk to you about Sarah Palin, is she a good representative of the women`s movement in the fact that she did run for vice president?
HARPER: In that she`s just out there doing what she does. And there`s plenty of men that make fools of themselves as, you know, politicians or get people to love them because they`re cute.
BEHAR: Dan Quayle, remember him?
HARPER: Exactly. So maybe that, in that they`re sort of level playing field, but I don`t see Sarah as a big feminist, no, I do not. Because of the policies she espouses. I`m not sure, but she`s cute as can be.
BEHAR: Yeah.
HARPER: But I feel she`s smarter than she`s letting on.
BEHAR: You do?
HARPER: I do.
BEHAR: What`s the big secret?
HARPER: I mean, playing to the -- that which is the worst in us, the divisive stuff.
BEHAR: Oh, you mean she`s sly?
HARPER: And there`s a snide thing there that I don`t appreciate. But listen, you know, she`s out there doing her stuff and I don`t necessarily -- maybe it`s that a woman can, you know, run for office.
BEHAR: But there`s a misunderstanding I think about feminism in the sense that they think she`s a feminist because she has children, a husband and a career. That is just the surface of it.
HARPER: Exactly.
BEHAR: It`s really your values system that has a lot to do with it also.
HARPER: That`s OK, you can call me --
BEHAR: Valerie, stay right there. More with Valerie Harper when we come back. She is Rhoda to me. And now Talullah. And now Talullah.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Let me tell you something, Tallulah Bankhead! I`ll get even with you for getting even with me if it`s the last thing I do.
HARPER: If you do, it will be. And another do, you do a revolting imitation of me.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: That was the outrageous golden age actress Tallulah Bankhead going toe to toe with Lucille Ball. I`m back with Valerie Harper, who has taken Tallulah`s trash-talking, hard-living life to Broadway. You know, I was just thinking, in "All About Eve," Bette Davis must have based her character on Tallulah.
HARPER: Somewhat, yes, indeed. And everything that Tallulah did onstage, not everything but "Dark Victory," "Jezebel," and "Little Foxes." She was the original Regina in that fabulous Lillian Helmsley (ph) play.
BEHAR: The original vagina?
HARPER: Regina.
BEHAR: Oh, I`m sorry. I really thought you said the original --
HARPER: Yes, and we do use that word in our play.
BEHAR: Yes, you do.
HARPER: And you came. Isn`t that a gorgeous theater?
BEHAR: Oh, it`s beautiful.
HARPER: The Lyceum was built the same year Tallulah was born, 1902.
BEHAR: The Lyceum Theater.
HARPER: The Lyceum, yes, on 45th.
BEHAR: And we`re going to see you there for a little while.
HARPER: Oh yes, hopefully, hopefully yes. People should come and see the play and laugh.
BEHAR: It`s funny and you`re wonderful in it and it`s a history lesson in a way too.
HARPER: And the other two actors, aren`t they darling?
BEHAR: Yes, they were good too. Everybody was great.
HARPER: It`s not a one-woman show. People tend to think it is and it`s not. It`s a good play.
BEHAR: No, but the focus is on Tallulah mostly.
HARPER: Sure.
BEHAR: As it should be.
HARPER: How could it not be?
BEHAR: She has incredible one-liners.
HARPER: She also inspired Cruella DeVille from "101 Dalmatians."
BEHAR: See, that`s very interesting stuff. Now we have Facebook and Twitter questions. People like to ask questions of their own, it`s not just me. First of all, here`s a question, did Ed Asner ever hit on you?
HARPER: No.
BEHAR: I`m sorry.
HARPER: I`m sorry to say but he is a darling. He would always hug us but he was never a letch, no.
BEHAR: Would Valerie consider doing "Dancing With The Stars" as Phyllis did, alias Cloris Leachman?
HARPER: Oh, I don`t know, because I used to be a professional dancer. I did four, five Broadway shows. So I kind of feel like if I can`t come up to what I used to be able to do, it wouldn`t be a hoot, it would be a disappointment to myself if I couldn`t get my leg up. But wasn`t Cloris hilarious?
BEHAR: Yes, she`s hilarious. This is a good question about "The Rhoda Show." I was wondering if the divorce on the show hurt it permanently since it was a television first.
HARPER: I don`t know. I`ll tell you what happened, that was writers. It was comedy writers. The guy said, Valerie, we still have the family hour for us, and we have certain things we couldn`t do. I think they wanted to write the show that was "Mad About You" some years later.
BEHAR: Oh.
HARPER: You know, Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt. But they couldn`t. And they say, well, oh, Joe has to have his shirt on, he has to -- can`t look like he`s naked in bed, all that kind of stuff. So they said -- we can`t -- it`s Sadie Sadie married lady. And she`s not got her comedy base, so let`s get her single again.
BEHAR: But it didn`t jump the shark when they got the divorce.
HARPER: No, no, no.
BEHAR: It went on.
HARPER: A long time, five years.
BEHAR: I have to wrap.
HARPER: I know, I love you.
BEHAR: We run out of time so easily on this show.
HARPER: You look so pretty in teal.
BEHAR: I wear it all the time. Thank you.
HARPER: Great to see you, Joy.
BEHAR: Thanks so much for joining me, Valerie, I appreciate it. The play is called "Looped" and it opens March 14th. Good night, everybody.
END
