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Joy Behar Page
Jesse James` Mistresses; Coulter vs. Canada
Aired March 25, 2010 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
JOY BEHAR, HOST: In the old days reporters had to turn over a rock to find a mistress, now they simply crawl out on their own. Today a third and fourth Jesse James mistress has surfaced.
Joining me now is Mike Walters, assignment manager for TMZ; also with us is Mark Vincent Kaplan, celebrity family law expert who handled Bob Dylan, Kevin Federline and Paula Abdul`s divorces; and Debbie Nigro, founding partner and chief executive girlfriend of First Wives` World.
Ok, Mike, let`s start with you. There`s an alleged third and fourth mistress. Can you tell us -- let`s start with number three. What do you know?
MIKE WALTERS, ASSIGNMENT MANAGER, TMZ: Well, number three is actually -- it fits into the mold of the first two, and that is some girl that contacts West Coast Choppers, his business, in Long Beach about modeling or photography. The first two were models for the clothing, the third being a photographer and a set designer to do stuff with the models. And Jesse basically allegedly writes back to these people and says here`s my personal e-mail and starts talking to them.
Number four, unfortunately for Jesse, is represented by Gloria Allred. So it seems to me at this point that it`s probably going to cost him in his marriage, but this might cost him in his pocketbook.
BEHAR: Gloria is really busy these days, isn`t she, Mike? She`s really --
WALTERS: I mean, honestly, I have to tell you, Joy, it`s like I`m talking to people in my newsroom and I`m literally getting deja vu from Tiger Woods. It`s like number two, number three, number four. Then Gloria Allred`s name came up and I`m like, of course.
And of course -- let me tell you, Gloria is a great lawyer, and going to her if you have an issue like this is a good idea. So now all of a sudden, remember with Tiger Woods it`s like these women have a great lawyer, a powerhouse lawyer and this guy`s going to cost him. You know what? It`s going to cost him all the way around: pocketbook, marriage, everything. It`s interesting how it`s Tiger Woods --
BEHAR: All right. I`m happy for Gloria. It`s a cottage industry for her.
Ok. Now, this -- number three, I believe it`s number three -- I`m losing track at this point. She claims to have 195 texts that are extremely graphic, but in one milder version James says, "I`ll be your monkey." I`ve heard of spanking the monkey, but never heard of I`ll be your monkey. Do we know what the others say?
WALTERS: Are you talking to me?
BEHAR: You. I`m talking to you.
WALTERS: Sorry, Mark.
MARK VINCENT KAPLAN, CELEBRITY FAMILY LAW EXPERT: Thank you.
WALTERS: No, I -- you know, yes, I think it`s a pet name. It`s interesting that you bring that part up. I`ve seen all the text messages. I`ve seen the ones from the first two also. It seems that he had pet names for a lot of the people, and they had them for him. He used vanilla gorilla as his e-mail, which I guess is a nickname he used around the shop for himself. So it`s weird.
We`re doing a story actually tomorrow morning, you`ll see on TMZ about him talking to number three and using a pet name all the time. And it kind of seems to me if these were quick affairs and not long-term relationships you wouldn`t have pet names for him or for her and in both cases there was.
BEHAR: They`re all in the simian family. Does he call any of them "my little orangutan".
WALTERS: And no, Joy. I don`t know what monkey means. I don`t know.
BEHAR: Ok. Now let`s talk about Sandra. Sandra is the only victim in this whole thing as far as I can see, and she believes -- I read anyway, you can tell me if this is true -- that there`s no salvaging this relationship. What do you say or think or know?
WALTERS: You know what? I agree. Sandra is a strong woman. She is an actress. She left immediately when this came out from the family home. I got to tell you, I think it`s going towards divorce. That`s my opinion.
But I will tell you the most tragic thing about Sandra Bullock in this case right now is the kids, Jesse James` kids. She was a stepmom to his children, especially Sonny who he had with Janine, the former porn star.
And we`re told -- we talked to Janine yesterday who said, "I really don`t want Sandra cut off from my daughter, which is Jesse`s daughter also."
I mean it`s interesting because she was a mom to these kids and how that`s going to affect her life even if she`s not with Jesse is interesting. I hope Sandra can remain a stepmother to some of the children.
BEHAR: But is there an ulterior motive in this woman. I mean does she want Sandra`s cache to rub off on the kid? Or -- what`s -- I don`t trust any of these people.
WALTERS: You mean Janine?
BEHAR: Yes.
WALTERS: Well, yes. I mean she`s a former porn star. She was in jail for tax evasion. But, I mean think about it, she is a mother and she was away for a long time and Sandra stepped in the role as mother for Jesse`s daughter while she was away. She has to have some sort of thanks in her heart to Sandra for doing that.
You know, look, yes, Sandra has money but in the -- on other hand, I think Janine really does feel that Sandra did her a very good deed here and took care of her daughter while she was locked up and right now she`s in a halfway house.
So, I don`t know. We`ll see when she gets out of this halfway house. But still I mean it`s got to be tragic and really emotionally reckoning for Sandra to not be able to see the kids.
BEHAR: That`s true. But remember, Gloria will be making some money. So thanks very much, Mike. Thank you very much.
WALTERS: See you guys.
BEHAR: Ok. All right.
Debbie, now, do you really think that Sandra Bullock, if she takes the kid -- takes it on as a project or whatever, she`s not going to be able to adopt the child.
DEBBIE NIGRO, WORLDSFIRSTWIVESWORLD.COM: No.
BEHAR: Do you think that she would want to do that in the sense that she now has to be attached to this Jesse James and for the rest of her life in a way? Once you have a child between you --
NIGRO: It`s yours (ph) forever.
BEHAR: Yes.
NIGRO: But it`s not her child. But still she raised this kid. She spent good, loving, female bonding time with her. And you know it takes a special woman to give the right kind of love to another woman`s child.
BEHAR: That`s true.
NIGRO: And I think that it`s a big factor, but I don`t think it`s the main factor right now. I think she`s broken and devastated and this is a broken dream. Every girl who I`ve talked to about this has fresh pain in their heart for her as a girlfriend about being there on television and talking in the news about how this guy had her back.
She`s finally fell for somebody -- she finally trusted somebody and you know, we`ve all been there, where you thought you could count on somebody and then all of a sudden, wow, are you the fool. So, you know, it`s about a broken dream, a broken heart.
If anybody could bottle that disgusting feeling that makes you want to throw up when you`ve been wronged like that, we wouldn`t have the obesity problem in the country we have because it just kills your appetite. I mean it`s just very hard to go on from that.
BEHAR: It`s an interesting jump you just took.
NIGRO: I know. But I do jump, Joy.
BEHAR: You went to the obesity problem. That`s interesting.
NIGRO: Well, I`m just saying. When that moment happens and your dream is so shattered, so she now can`t trust anybody. And you have all these girls --
BEHAR: She can learn to trust a man. Not all men are like this guy.
(CROSSTALK)
NIGRO: She`ll find somebody who deserves her, but these girls who have just gone -- are coming out one by one. We have a problem in this country because we`ve shown young girls or women who wreck marriages that that`s the way to the bounty. You know.
BEHAR: Right.
Now Mark, what`s the story in terms of money that`s going to be -- if they get divorced, which they probably will? He has millions and she has even millions. In a divorce -- in California they have community property still, so do they have to go through that whole chain where you have to divide all the assets equally?
KAPLAN: Well, my understanding is that -- and no one knows for sure except them -- but my understanding is that they have a pre-nuptial agreement. A pre-nuptial agreement allows people to decide by contract how their property would be divided or accumulated in the event of a divorce in a totally different manner than how it would be under our laws such as community property laws. We don`t really know that.
They are both people of means. I`m assuming that they probably have some type of an agreement, if they have one at all, that allows them to have accumulation of property that they both agree to specifically, but with respect to their earnings during marriage, probably not.
BEHAR: It`s interesting that she was not so much in denial that she didn`t have a pre-nup.
NIGRO: Right.
BEHAR: So this whole idea that she didn`t really know every -- anything about the guy and all that --
NIGRO: She knew he was a bad boy.
BEHAR: She knew something. She had sort of an inkling when she saw those -- the surfboard with the swastika on it. Maybe that was her tip off.
NIGRO: Good girls like bad boys.
BEHAR: You know. But I mean, what is -- why did he marry her, in your opinion. You`re an expert on this topic.
NIGRO: He just fell in love with her. Who wouldn`t fall in love with her? She`s America`s sweetheart.
(CROSSTALK)
NIGRO: I don`t think he was in love with the other ones. I`ll tell you why, the ones he`s cheating with. I think men compartmentalize their lives. It happened I believe in Tiger Woods existence too. Where you have your home life and you have your other life and you have your work life and never the two or three or four shall pass.
(CROSSTALK)
NIGRO: It`s when they both open at the same time, as a compartments open at the same time, that a man finds himself sort of a deer in a headlights. They never think it`s going to happen.
BEHAR: They never think it`s going to happen to them?
NIGRO: No.
BEHAR: Ok. Sandra in 2009 she said to "People" magazine, "Thankfully I he married someone who loves me just the way I am and all the nuttiness that goes into me."
I don`t know if --
NIGRO: I`m sure he loves her. That`s not enough for him obviously, because he needs to stray, if that was enough. She thought it was enough, I`m sure.
BEHAR: Mark, let me talk to you about custody of the child, if there`s such a thing. If they get a divorce, the biological mother has custody of the child, right?
KAPLAN: Well, the natural parents have custody rights unless the courts, for some reason, take them away. And Sandra has a stepparent under our law, a stepparent in a divorce case with the other parent of the natural -- the natural parent, the court has the power to give them visitation rights as a stepparent if in fact the court believes that would be in the child`s best interest.
In this case especially when there -- my understanding is that the mom has said that she favors visitation rights in Sandra. That gives her a strong leg-up going into court and say, "I want visitation rights with my stepchild."
BEHAR: I understand that Jesse --
KAPLAN: -- she`ll probably do it.
BEHAR: -- I understand that Jesse actually has custody of the child.
NIGRO: Yes. In fact, I think his ex-wife was thrilled that Sandra treated her daughter the way she did and a woman is always terrific when she knows another woman is taking care of her child the way she would.
BEHAR: Yes that is right.
NIGRO: And I think Sandra Bullock probably loves this kid and will find a way -- if they had a good relationship to have one down the road no matter what happens with her.
BEHAR: So -- so -- so Mark, then, since Sandra was the stepmom, could she retain access --
KAPLAN: Yes.
BEHAR: -- to the kid? To this child if she wants.
KAPLAN: Absolutely. She -- the law says that the stepparent can get custody -- excuse me -- can get visitation rights --
BEHAR: Visitations.
KAPLAN: -- as long as it doesn`t interfere, as long as it doesn`t interfere with the other natural parent`s rights.
BEHAR: Right.
KAPLAN: And when the other parent in this case, the mom, is saying "I favor step parental visitation or custody rights", that is really a significant contribution to a court feeling comfortable saying it`s the best interest of this child --
BEHAR: Right.
KAPLAN: -- that the stepparent provide a stable environment.
BEHAR: I think it probably would be best for the child if Sandra stayed in her life.
KAPLAN: I think so.
BEHAR: I don`t know if it`s great for Sandra, but it`s good for the kid. Thanks everyone.
Up next I`ll take look at why the right wing refuses to take a stand against hate speech.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: Conservative firecracker Ann Coulter has got a beef with Canada, specifically the University of Ottawa after they canceled her appearance this week due to protests. Protesters said she practiced hate speech. But Coulter says she`s being unfairly targeted because she`s a conservative.
With me now is conservative commentator Ann Coulter, herself. H, Ann.
ANN COULTER, CONSERVATIVE COMMENTATOR: Hello, Joy.
BEHAR: You`re in trouble again. Tell me what happened.
COULTER: Well, actually the -- what happened? It began when King Herod demanded that all blonde conservative babies be killed and then I was coming to Canada for a speech -- some of us escaped. And actually, what I`m doing is filing a complaint with the -- with these Human Rights Commission, which keeps bringing up conservatives on hate -- hate speech laws because I got a letter before I even set foot in Canada threatening me with criminal prosecution if I committed a hate crime in my speech.
And they don`t even know what my speech was about. I wasn`t even in Canada yet. I`ve gotten hate mail before, but not for things I haven`t done yet. So having read the provost`s description of what is a criminal speech acts in Canada, I realized I have just been a victim of a hate crime.
BEHAR: Well, you know, Republicans are always talking about personal responsibility, so do you take any responsibility for being canceled at all?
COULTER: No.
BEHAR: No?
COULTER: No. I was invited to give a speech and I never even made it to the building because -- actually, they weren`t -- it turns out they weren`t all protestors, there were around 2,000 people around the building. A few hundred of them were protestors --
BEHAR: Right.
COULTER: -- and they were knocking building -- they were knocking over tables and they pulled the fire alarm and they wouldn`t let people in or out. And the cops said we can`t let this proceed. So --
BEHAR: All right.
COULTER: No, I do not take responsibility for that. I was drinking coffee at some club.
BEHAR: Ok, well, let`s listen to what you said. Ok? Listen.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: As a 17-year-old student of this university, Muslim, should I be converted to Christianity? Since I don`t have a magic carpet? While others --
COULTER: I thought it was just an American public schools that produced ignorant people. What mode of transportation? Take a camel.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Ok, now you know --
COULTER: It will not surprise you to learn, Joy, that this is a completely deceptive quote that has been disseminated, there are 10 minutes cut out between her question and what I said. I was responding to the hecklers. I wasn`t responding to her, by the way. I started to talk -- give her what I think was an electrifying and very historic but serious and somber answer to her question.
BEHAR: I`m sure.
COULTER: I was going through the quotes she`s pulled out for the last ten years. No, seriously, I was. Look, I`m snotty with liberals on TV, but not with just some students. Even though she was being --
BEHAR: But why do you have to say --
COULTR: I started to answer her seriously and they started heckling and I counter-heckled and it was a good counter-heckle, but to cut out the ten minutes in between --
BEHAR: But Ann --
COULTER: -- is utterly deceptive and dishonest.
BEHAR: And why -- but why do you have to say -- take a camel in that sarcastic manner or use words like (EXPLETIVE DELETED) --
COULTER: Why do they have to interrupt --
BEHAR: Why do you do that, though?
COULTER: Why do they to --
BEHAR: You are so smart. You`re a smart girl, which is why you`re on my show. And yet you use these very, very --
COULTER: Thank you.
BEHAR: -- volatile words, things that really go to the lowest level of interaction, inter -- social intercourse? Why do you do that?
COULTER: I don`t -- I totally disagree and I think you are the last person to make that point. If we went through each of one of these in their full, lush context, because you`re a funny gal, Joy. You can see that comedy is harder than having a political opinion --
BEHAR: Yes.
COULTER: -- obviously a lot of what I say or what`s known as jokes. And you mentioned the (EXPLETIVE DELETED) joke about John Edwards. Look, I`m not a humor specialist the way you are, but there were 7,000 people in the room and they roared with that. When 7,000 people laugh, it was funny.
And by the way, now that we know a little bit more about John Edwards and his wife, I think, I was proved right on that one. Here like I said, you know --
BEHAR: No, you were not --
COULTER: -- if this was such a bad thing, show the whole thing. That`s the clip going around.
BEHAR: How are you proved right on John Edwards by calling him a (EXPLETIVE DELETED)? What was the purpose of that? Why do you call him that?
COULTER: I didn`t call him a (EXPLETIVE DELETED). I insinuated.
BEHAR: What did you say?
COULTER: Well, again, yes -- I do recommend liberals coming to my speeches because I give a fantastic speech. In that speech I`ve just gone through -- this was back in 2007, I guess, when Hillary and Obama -- and maybe it was the beginning of 2008. But anyway, it was Hillary and Obama and Edwards running for president. And I`ve had some jokes about Obama, I have some jokes about Hillary, this is just at CPAC, it wasn`t a more serious speech.
And then, to conclude the speech I said I had a few things to say about John Edwards. Oh, sorry I forgot to mention. This is in the middle of the whole Isaiah Washington thing. He is just, back and forth, back and forth, he goes into rehab for calling a fellow actor a (EXPLETIVE DELETED). So I said, I had some remarks about John Edwards but it turns out I can`t make them. Because if you use the words (EXPLETIVE DELETED) you go into rehab.
BEHAR: Ann you`re starting to babble, you`re losing me.
COULTER: As you know was used by little kids. Ok, if you`re going to ask me to explain a joke, you`re going to be bored to death.
BEHAR: But you know what?
COULTER: But if you want a joke, I`ll give you a joke but then, don`t go back and say, oh, I don`t understand the joke.
BEHAR: But listen, Ann, you`re not a comedian. Maybe you shouldn`t do that type of thing. Leave it to the professionals.
COULTER: When 7,000 laugh it was funny.
BEHAR: You know you are your best audience.
All right, stay right there. We`ll have some more with you in a minute because I can`t get enough of this woman.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with conservative commentator Ann Coulter.
You know Ann, I have to tell you. Anthony Weiner had some white powder sent to his house with a threatening letter. And you know Louise Slaughter had a brick thrown into her store front. Stupak is getting threats. People are putting coffins on Democrats` lawns. This kind of hate speech that`s going on right now has to stop.
COULTER: I wouldn`t bring it up except that it happened, you know, two nights ago. Ok, and 200 kids were bringing rocks and sticks to a speech of mine. And I`ve gotten white powder, and I`ve been attacked on my property. You don`t hear conservatives whining about it all the time. A liberal gets one piece of hate mail, and suddenly Paul Krugman is blubbering on the op-ed page of "The New York Times". That`s why, by the way --
BEHAR: That`s not true.
COULTER: I mean the only thing responsible people can do, responsible people on air, responsible elected officials is to try to give public figures some privacy; in a country of 300 million there are going to be some crazy people out there.
I know that it has become a passion of people on a sister -- a different cable network to reveal the addresses of conservatives.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Well, we don`t -- that`s the problem. But that`s the problem with hate speech. It begets other hate speech, and you know, we can have the next --
COULTER: No, but I`m saying there`re going to be crazy people. You have responsible liberals, allegedly responsible adult liberals out there trying to get conservatives attacked. Like this guy Francois --
BEHAR: Oh, come on. Most of the hate speech is directed towards liberals and you know it right now. You have a case maybe in the `60s.
COULTER: That`s absolute madness.
BEHAR: Listen. And speaking of whining, Eric Cantor has been whining about how he got in trouble. Somebody had a bullet shot through his house by the way.
(CROSSTALK)
COULTER: Yes, yes. He`s whining too.
BEHAR: They whine on the right also.
BEHAR: You or Anthony Wiener couldn`t show up at the Republican convention. You can show up at the University of Mississippi. You can show up at Bob Jones University and you wouldn`t need a bodyguard.
There`s not a conservative in America who can go to a college campus in America without a bodyguard.
BEHAR: Listen --
COULTER: Do not tell me it`s a bigger problem for liberals. It`s not even equal. That`s madness. We just don`t whine.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: The fact they`re threatening Bart Stupak is a big problem.
COULTER: Oh, boo-hoo-hoo.
BEHAR: But you know, let me tell you something.
COULTER: I`ll put my hate mail up against his any day.
BEHAR: Ok. Just FYI, last night Glenn Beck -- your friend Glenn Beck -- that other nut job, he unveiled the "I hate Glenn Beck Club", and guess who is a member?
COULTER: You?
BEHAR: Me. I`m so excited. This is -- this is like being on Nixon`s enemies list.
COULTER: Congratulations.
BEHAR: I`m so happy you can`t even imagine. But he skipped Whoopi, Al Gore; he skipped Stephen King. He skipped a lot of people, but I`m so privileged to be on that list.
COULTER: You have to put that next to your Costco Club Card.
BEHAR: Ok.
Ann thanks, always a pleasure. Back in a minute.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: One of the more humiliating stories of week, the animals rights organization PETA paid the Octomom $5,000 to put a sign in her front yard reminding people to spay and neuter their pets. Here with me to talk about it are comedian and commentator is Chuck Nice, and he`s nice, too. Noah Levy, senior editor of "In Touch Weekly" and comedian Cory Kahaney. Okay here`s the ad, take a look at the ad.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Wow.
BEHAR: Yes, they gave her money for this and they`re giving her also a bunch of hot dogs and stuff, too, a month`s worth of food for the kids. But you know this girl, she turned down the offer to do a porno flick.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Right. Right.
BEHAR: Which is more humiliating? To see that on your lawn or do a porno flick?
NOAH LEVY, SENIOR EDITOR, IN TOUCH: I mean at least she`s helping people to do this. I mean if she was to do the porn it would be degrading at least she`s helping people.
BEHAR: That`s good -
LEVY: The rest of America --
CHUCK NICE, COMEDIAN/COMMENTATOR: Yes, it`s a positive message, and I mean, the only problem is, you know, you pretty much put a billboard on your house that says this is where the octomom lives.
BEHAR: That`s the problem.
NICE: Yes you know, not that people wouldn`t know anyway when they see 14 kids running in and out of the house all day long.
BEHAR: That`s true.
NICE: Its a day care center or the octo-mom lives there.
BEHAR: That`s right but I mean isn`t it scary -- her attorney says no porn, just PETA. Nadya prefers over men. Come on.
NICE: Well if she had that belief in the beginning, she wouldn`t have this problem.
BEHAR: That`s true, what do you think, Cory?
CORY KAHANEY, COMEDIAN: I don`t, I think it could be a whole new business for celebrities. I mean you know I think that everybody -- like the Palins could have a sponsored by planned parenthood and Mel Gibson could have Happy Passover and Michelle Phillips could have Happy Father`s Day. I think this is a whole --
BEHAR: But I mean she goes on television shows, she seems to be on some kind of welfare. I mean, she doesn`t really work.
NICE: Yes right.
BEHAR: And then she gets plastic surgery, she --
LEVY: Times are tough, though. I mean she`s going for foreclosure. She has to do everything that will pay money. You know she has a lot of mouths to feed.
BEHAR: I know that. But it seems as though when she gets cash, she spends it our lips.
LEVY: Yes.
BEHAR: I think she makes people mad because of that.
KAHANEY: You know what`s offensive to me, okay so PETA is jumping in, but why can`t the Right to Life people help her. I mean they`ll do anything to stop a woman from having an abortion, but when someone is trying to raise their kids, they suddenly forget their phone number. I don`t understand.
BEHAR: They`re busy with the other. That`s why. They are busy with the other.
NICE: $5,000 is a lot of money. For 5 grand PETA can put that sign on my propert -- I`m a lousy dad. So hey, PETA.
BEHAR: How many kids do you have, Chuck?
NICE: I have two. But they feel like 14.
(LAUGHTER)
KAHANEY: I tried but the sign doesn`t fit on my ledge.
BEHAR: It doesn`t.
KAHANEY: No.
BEHAR: All right listen to this story, sources say O.J. Simpson has been getting special privileges in prison that include gambling and even massages. Granted this comes from the Enquirer, but they`ve been right about plenty. Namely the John Edwards story. They were right on the money for that. Okay now this guy is like Teflon, you know, O.J. Simpson. They like him in jail, a lot of these guys. Why?
NICE: I just have to say speaking as a man who has never been to prison, if I ever went, I don`t think I would want massages, you know? That`s -- I don`t think that`s a good massage when it`s, you know, bubba the inmate giving it to you, you know.
BEHAR: One thing leads to another.
NICE: Exactly.
BEHAR: Yes, women know that. A massage leads to Nooky, uh huh.
KAHANEY: I didn`t realize there are gay people in jail?
(LAUGHTER)
LEVY: I have never heard that, ever. BEHAR: Well I don`t know that they`re gay before they go in.
KAHANEY: Right.
BEHAR: And then you know they just turn into people who want to have some kind of affection.
NICE: I would say.
LEVY: He doesn`t have a lot of friends in prison and he has to have good comfort from someone. And a mani and pedi is totally fine.
(LAUGHTER)
KAHANEY: This prison has massages and they let him gamble. Who is running this prison? Steve Wynn? He has a great life.
BEHAR: But maybe they`re afraid of him, maybe they`re afraid of decapitation maybe?
KAHANEY: I think it`s a bragging thing. I gave O.J. a (EXPLICATIVE DELETED). I mean it`s just --
BEHAR: Oh. Now the fact that he`s a sports hero may have something to do with it.
NICE: That`s true.
BEHAR: I mean they must revere him. I mean because what`s his name Bernie Madoff got beaten up in jail.
NICE: Right.
BEHAR: And this guy is getting massages. What does that say to you?
KAHANEY: What do gay people know about football?
(LAUGHTER)
NICE: You`d be surprised.
BEHAR: I don`t know that gay people is the issue here, at it`s not the issue.
LEVY: No.
BEHAR: He`s getting special treatment, the guards like him and take care of him also.
NICE: Right.
BEHAR: And Bernie Madoff they`re beating up. What`s the story?
NICE: Clearly O.J. Simpson is a charming man, because he actually got dates after a double murder. So come on. You committed a double murder. We pretty much the whole country and even black people back then knew he was guilty. We just didn`t want to tell white people, okay? But the truth of the matter is --
BEHAR: Is that true?
NICE: Yes, it is.
BEHAR: Let`s go back there for a second.
NICE: Please, no, no I`m going to go back, no for real. Privately behind closed doors we were like can you believe this Negro got away with that? Can you believe it? And then when white people came around, damn right he`s innocent.
BEHAR: So that was all for show, that was all hoopla. All the confetti, yehay.
KAHANEY: Well I thought it was more that finally a black man had enough money to pay off the system, and that`s what you celebrate.
NICE: That`s what we celebrated, is the fact that the system works, you know. This guy is charming because women go out with him. I cut my wife`s head off, but you know listen, what are you doing Thursday?
LEVY: It`s hard to find a single man now. It`s hard to find a single man now. Yes.
BEHAR: It`s very hard.
LEVY: Yes, the dating pool is small.
BEHAR: But look at the Menendez brothers. I think both of them are married, and they killed their parents and they say they`re orphans.
LEVY: They have a full head of hair, you know. People`s standards are low.
KAHANEY: My parents say that all the time. The Menendez mothers, at least them put them out of their misery.
BEHAR: Okay another story. After being a big chicken and not allowing any questions last time, Tiger Woods will hold an actual press conference with real questions from the reporters and everything. But what is there left to say? Is he going to apologize for the his earlier apology? What do you think? What`s he got left to say?
NICE: I can`t imagine what Tiger Woods would have left to say. Don`t we know it all? Every -- the only way it could get worse is if, you know, maybe people that just should never have sex - like I actually slept with my Buddhist monk. Like you know what I mean like if he came out with something like that. Well what else is there to say?
BEHAR: Well what if the reporter says to him, Chuck, are you as dirty as you appear in your texts? What should he say?
NICE: Well, Joy, I would like to say I`m even dirtier, actually. Quite frankly my job is to approximate put balls in holes. That`s what I do for a living, so I can`t tell you what I actually wrote on those texts.
BEHAR: Okay let`s ask another question. How did you keep all those mistresses straight?
NICE: You know, I`m part Asian, which means I`m very good with numbers.
BEHAR: And who -- is there anyone --
NICE: Come on!
BEHAR: Is there anyone that you haven`t slept with Tiger?
NICE: No I got to tell you Joy, here`s the theory, you can`t spud Buddhist without bootie, and quite frankly there is no one I have not slept with. I slept with you two seconds ago and you didn`t know it.
BEHAR: No it was very quick. What do I know? But you know he`s going to be facing a room full of reporters this time. Is this a good thing for him or a bad thing? Tell me?
LEVY: You know what I think honestly from a media standpoint he has to make himself be relatable. He didn`t answer questions before. Now he got to make himself seems like a real people and own up to something. He has got to fess up to some of the dirt.
BEHAR: Yes which part should he fess up to, Cory?
KAHANEY: Well I think at this point the only way this could be newsworthy would be if his wife stepped forward and said that she actually slept with Tiger Woods.
(LAUGHTER)
LEVY: That would be depressing.
BEHAR: That would be good.
NICE: That`s some news.
BEHAR: And you know, it`s interesting. A new report came out that he actually had an affair with Leann Rimes.
NICE: Wow.
BEHAR: The country singer, years ago, he was doing Leann.
LEVY: It makes perfect sense. I mean seriously this man has a type. He likes an all-American beautiful blonde. Now his mistresses is a completely other mixed bag. But for dating or marrying he likes a really all-American looking girl.
BEHAR: I think this -- what do you call it. This press conference is going to throw off his concentration. They`re going to throw him off, and he won`t golf properly in the Masters. Is it possible to throw him off?
KAHANEY: Oh please. I mean if he can -- if he could juggle 15 hot chicks and win tournaments --
BEHAR: I don`t know how hot, I don`t think I have you seen them all? They`re not that hot.
(CROSSTALK)
LEVY: Some are older.
NICE: No they are not -- yes actually, a few of those women when I look at them, I`d rather give O.J. a massage.
BEHAR: Okay. Thanks, everyone, for your pearls of wisdom. Up next the adorable Jennifer Love Hewitt stops by, yes.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: She`s the star of the CBS series "The Ghost Whisper" but Jennifer love Hewitt is known by the media whispers about who she is dating. Her new book is called "The Day I Shot Cupid" Hello my name is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I am a loveaholic." Welcome to the show, Jennifer.
JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT: Thank you.
BEHAR: Why do you say you`re a loveaholic?
HEWITT: Well really I was trying to think of what would sort of make people realize that it`s kind of me at my sort of most vulnerable writing in the book. And talking about the things that I talked in the book. And I figured if I was standing up, saying I`m a loveaholic that it would do that. But now everyone just thinks I`m like this weird love obsessed person who just walks around only thinking about love all day. But that`s why I did that.
BEHAR: That`s why. I see. The media called you a serial dater. You`re young, pretty, single. Why can`t you? What`s wrong with it - what`s wrong with being a serial dater?
HEWITT: I don`t even really know what serial dater means per say. I thought they thought I killed men after I went out and took them for coca pebbles. I don`t really know why it is serial dater but yes I don`t think I`m doing anything different than any other girl in their early 30`s.
BEHAR: You`re just dating.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: But you know, so in your book you advice for girls on dates, I guess.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: Things you shouldn`t say on a date. Such as a love the way you chew. Have you had a date say it to you?
HEWITT: I had a guy say that to me. He was looking at me and he didn`t say anything. And I was just sort of eating and it just popped out and he was like I love the way you chew.
BEHAR: Was he a dentist?
HEWITT: No. If he had been it would have been a little bit more comforting? But no, no. Just weird.
BEHAR: All right, you also say that you should say no to text relationships.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: That seems to be the new form of communication.
HEWITT: It`s ruined everything.
BEHAR: Has it?
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: Well tell me why.
HEWITT: Well because first of all you can create your own Avatar personality if you went on a text message. And it can be not necessarily - like I -- if I was having a text relationship or text conversation with somebody, I might get nervous about what I was going to write, so I`d ask a friend and their friend would go - no, no she should write this. And then you`re not getting a real representation of somebody.
BEHAR: Oh I see.
HEWITT: And also I kind of feel like guys if they`re texting you could be out on a date with somebody else texting you and you`re sitting at home thinking you`re his one and only. And it is just bad. I just --
BEHAR: What about sexting.
HEWITT: Sexting is having sex on the text.
BEHAR: Tiger Woods got in trouble for that.
HEWITT: Yes he did a lot of sexting.
BEHAR: Yes.
HEWITT: It`s not good.
BEHAR: Is it sort of like the updated version of phone sex?
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: That`s really what it is right?
HEWITT: Pretty much. Pretty much. But I don`t know why that`s hot to send -- to get like a message.
BEHAR: Well it`s as hot as phone sex, which is pretty hot.
HEWITT: I know but a voice is better than hey--
BEHAR: Not necessarily.
(LAUGHTER)
HEWITT: Okay.
BEHAR: Not if you`re a reader.
HEWITT: All right.
BEHAR: No now, you recently --
HEWITT: You do sexting, don`t you?
BEHAR: No, I don`t, I don`t.
HEWITT: Okay.
BEHAR: But you recently broke up with Jamie Kennedy. That was recent right?
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: Are you upset?
HEWITT: I`ve had upset moments, sure.
BEHAR: You have, well you are human.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: Now he was your co-star on "The Ghost Whisper".
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: And he wrote a chapter in your book about liking women with big butts. I mean what`s not to like in a man who likes a big ass? I love that.
HEWITT: I know it was very impressive. That`s why I put it in the book. I thought it was a great chapter for women to know, because I think we sometimes feel like it`s the opposite. But yes, it was good.
BEHAR: Yes he likes that.
HEWITT: He does.
BEHAR: Good for him.
HEWITT: Likes the big butt.
BEHAR: Now another boyfriend that you had -- we like to talk about boyfriends.
HEWITT: Let`s talk about them all, why not.
BEHAR: We`ll talk about all of them, John Mayer, who is a very, very prominent you know singer right now. He sticks his foot in his mouth more than George Bush did. He did an interview in playboy and he said that Jessica Simpson was like sexual napalm. Now were you surprised that he talked out of school like that about a girl he slept with?
HEWITT: I don`t know I feel like some guys do that. I`m not really sure why he made that choice. But you know, look, he`s a decent guy, and I just think that maybe he made a misstep. Sometimes people get comfortable with their interviewers and they think you know, well, it`s fine, and they just sort of say things out of turn. I`m really glad that I was left out of the interview.
BEHAR: But you know you say it might have been -- he`s a serial misstepper. He has said other things that are dumb also.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: He`s just -- I think he wants to be hip.
HEWITT: He`s a talker.
BEHAR: He`s a talker?
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: You liked him?
HEWITT: Yes, he was nice.
BEHAR: What happened there?
HEWITT: Well, you know --
BEHAR: All right, let`s go --
HEWITT: Let`s talk about something else.
BEHAR: All right let`s talk about the infamous bikini photos.
HEWITT: Oh god, the subject matters just keep getting better.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: All right well, we`ll get to the -
HEWITT: Awesome. All right - okay --
BEHAR: We`ll start with the hard stuff and get to the easy. I mean I`m fascinated by the fact that the paparazzi follow you girls around like crazy.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: Take pictures of you in bathing suits. I would not be caught dead on the beach -- I hate the beach anyway, but now I really won`t go near the beach.
HEWITT: I haven`t been back to the beach since.
BEHAR: I mean you haven`t.
HEWITT: No.
BEHAR: You are scared to go to the beach.
HEWITT: I`m in no rush.
BEHAR: Yes, you know what it`s to prevent skin cancer. The paparazzi is doing you a service.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: I mean but they had pictures of you, and I thought you looked so pretty.
HEWITT: Thank you.
BEHAR: And they were making fun of you because you`re not -- it was a close-up shot of your behind for god`s sakes. Leave it alone.
HEWITT: Yes, yes, I never thought I would see it that close. I really didn`t. It was nice. It was cute.
BEHAR: I can see why men like you. You have an adorable laugh. How rough is that to have your photos all over magazines like that? That must be terrible.
HEWITT: It was awful. It was pretty awful, yes. It really -- it was awful. It made me feel pretty low. But, you know, the thing that was amazing about it because I try to think of something positive is al these really cool people who I -- some who I had met but mostly who I had never met these amazing actresses said so many nice things in defense of me and really stood up for me. Wow what a weird way to make strange friendships, but thank you. That was inspiring. And I was given a chance to say why are we doing this? And I have a lot of young girl fans that look up to me.
BEHAR: Right.
HEWITT: What was upsetting to me about is that they were saying that I`m the epitome of what is fat and ugly and wrong in the world. I was like what are we doing? What are we doing, so --
BEHAR: What would motivate someone to say something like that?
HEWITT: I have no idea.
BEHAR: Do they have astigmatism? I mean it`s ridiculous.
HEWITT: I have no idea. And yes, I don`t know. Then later he I was like I wonder what they look like in a bathing suit. I wonder if we could put them in a bathing suit and see how they like it.
BEHAR: Right there`s so much pressure in Hollywood for girls to be very skinny now and be perfect.
HEWITT: It`s bad, it`s bad. It really is.
BEHAR: I feel for you.
HEWITT: And you know you have to think about it all the time.
BEHAR: Yes well you look gorgeous.
HEWITT: Thank you.
BEHAR: Anyway, stay right there. We`ll have easier questions in the next segment.
HEWITT: Thank god, okay.
BEHAR: More with the lovely Jennifer Love Hewitt when we come back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with the actress and now author, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Jennifer I like this in your book. You say the word "bitch" is a good word and that we should be carrying the inner bitch around with us?
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: What do you mean by that?
HEWITT: I feel like carrying a little bitch in your back pocket gives you some power.
(LAUGTHER)
HEWITT: I like it, I feel like it is good. It took me a long time to learn that because I was always offended by that word and I was always like oh gosh, I don`t want to be that kind of person. And then I started meeting all these really cool very strong women and I realized that there was just a tiny little piece of them that had a gumption and it was a little bit of bitch just kind of tucked away and it could get them out of any powerful conversation with a strong person or you know let a man know they wouldn`t be treated in a certain way.
BEHAR: That`s right.
HEWITT: Or whatever it was and so I wrote about it in the book to sort of say I think there`s a little bit of that was okay.
BEHAR: It`s all about being assertive.
HEWITT: Yes, absolutely.
BEHAR: And have good, high self esteem.
HEWITT: Absolutely.
BEHAR: Is basically talking -- and the word, bitch, is our word, we own that word.
HEWITT: Yes and we should own it.
BEHAR: Okay, that`s right.
HEWITT: And we should make it a positive thing not a bad thing.
BEHAR: What about this other thing, bejazzling. What is bejazzling exactly?
HEWITT: You said it was going to get easier.
BEHAR: Well it`s in there. I didn`t know what it was. Is it like the bejazzler?
HEWITT: John Mayer --
BEHAR: Did John Mayer like you to bejazzle?
HEWITT: Oh boy I`m sweating. It`s hot in here.
BEHAR: Do we have a fan, oh, yes, baby.
HEWITT: So the bejazzling is -- where you talk Swarovski crystals and decorate your lady --
BEHAR: Oh your lady? Oh you bejazzle your little lady.
HEWITT: Your lady, your essence.
BEHAR: And don`t the sequence get itchy?
HEWITT: No. No.
BEHAR: All right here`s some twitter questions for you.
HEWITT: Thank god for twitter.
BEHAR: Jennifer played Audrey Hepburn which you were fabulous and you look like her.
HEWITT: Thank you, thank you.
BEHAR: And that`s what everybody should remember.
HEWITT: Thank you.
BEHAR: What`s your favorite Audrey Hepburn movie? They want to know.
HEWITT: I love "Sabrina."
BEHAR: "Sabrina". Oh that`s a great one.
HEWITT: I like that one. Yes and she fell in love with William Holden while they were filming that movie, which I just loved. I thought that was sweet.
BEHAR: She always looked like she was really in love with her leading men.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: Like Ingrid Bergman has that also. Not all actresses have it?
HEWITT: No, it`s special quality, I think it is something to be adored.
BEHAR: Just so love and maybe they really were in love with them. That`s the trick, it`s not acting. Okay do you prefer dating non-showbiz people?
HEWITT: I haven`t tried that.
BEHAR: Mojo the plumber or nothing?
HEWITT: No, never a plumber, no. You know what, I did go on a date once with a guy who made chicken flautas at a Mexican restaurant.
BEHAR: Stop it.
HEWITT: And he was very nice.
BEHAR: Chicken flautas.
HEWITT: Yes, they were good.
BEHAR: Did you bejazz them.
HEWITT: No I didn`t.
BEHAR: Any new movies coming out?
HEWITT: Not that anybody`s going to see now! No, I`m doing a romantic comedy over the Hiatus.
BEHAR: You are? Is there any other actress you`d like to play? You did Audrey Hepburn. Is there anyone else you would ever want - you like a bio flick?
HEWITT: I would love to do Elizabeth Taylor.
BEHAR: You can do that. She was married eight times.
HEWITT: Yes.
BEHAR: Twice to the same guy, once.
HEWITT: Yes, sounds awesome.
BEHAR: You`d have to - but there was a period she put on a lot of weight. You`d have to pull a Robert De Niro. Are you willing to do that?
HEWITT: I am willing to do that.
BEHAR: You are.
HEWITT: Just bring out those old photos.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: What a sport you are. Get back on the beach.
HEWITT: Thank you. Thank you
BEHAR: Thank you so much for coming on the show. You`re just adorable. Thank you. And the book is called, "The Day I Shot Cupid." good night, everybody.
END
