Return to Transcripts main page
Joy Behar Page
Interview With Kathy Griffin; Interview With Jerry Springer
Aired April 15, 2010 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
JOY BEHAR, HOST: Tonight on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, celebrities from Mel Gibson to Melissa Etheridge to Tiger Woods reportedly calling it quits. A little word of advice, Tiger, you might not want to bother texting Melissa. Wrong team.
Then comedian Kathy Griffin says that all women can educate themselves about their bodies and ensure the health of their v-jay-jays. In other words, "Yes V Can".
And he went from the mayor of Cincinnati to the king of daytime talk. The one and only Jerry Springer will be here. Who`s your baby daddy?
That and more right now.
Elin Woods may finally be ready to dump Tiger, Larry King heads for split number 8, Mel Gibson and his Russian girlfriend are kaputzki (ph) and Charlie Sheen has appeared in public in disguise. What is he up to and who does he think he`s fooling?
What a week this has been for divorces.
Here to dish the dirt and lots of it are comedian Loni Love, deputy news editor at "Us Weekly" Natalie Thomas, and family law attorney and founder of divorcedating.com Vikki Ziegler.
Ok. Let`s start with Tiger. She`s thinking of filing for divorce. What do you think pushed her over the edge? Natalie.
NATALIE THOMAS, DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR, "US WEEKLY": There are reports that, you know, she was very upset that he went back to the Masters. She thought that he should have taken more time off and not gone back to golf. Focus on his family and his rehab. And that she`s upset.
She`s now consulting a new divorce lawyer. She`s now taking solo vacation in Arizona. And she`s not happy with him.
BEHAR: I also read reports that she`s renovating her $2 million mansion in Sweden. Is she moving to Sweden?
THOMAS: She has bought a property in Sweden and she does spend a considerable amount of time there even before all this happened. And I think she`s now looking to spend a lot more time there. Her mom`s there. Her sister is there.
BEHAR: So she`s had it. It looks like she`s had it.
THOMAS: Yes and still not wearing her ring.
BEHAR: Still not wearing her ring.
VIKKI ZIEGLER, FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY: God.
BEHAR: Yes. She`s over it.
ZIEGLER: How could she not? Why hasn`t she filed, I mean months and months ago in my opinion? This is way too long.
Perhaps they had some type of agreement that she was going to stand by him. Maybe get caught up in some shots and make it seem like they`re a pair and she was involved with the rehab. But I think she knows.
How could you go back to a man that had intimate relations with at least 15, 18 women that we know about unprotected while she was pregnant? You know, you can`t get into this intimate relationship --
BEHAR: And who talks to his dead father --
ZIEGLER: That was bizarre.
BEHAR: I mean on television. Yes. I thought Natalie Cole singing with Nat King Cole was weird. Remember that?
LONI LOVE, COMEDIAN: She says she`s disgusted also -- they said she was disgusted by the Nike ad. I would have been disgusted by the 17 mistresses. I mean I just would have left after that.
So I`m glad. I hope she leaves.
ZIEGLER: Yes. Get as much money as possible and make sure the children are taken care of. Be able to go to Sweden when she wants. And that`s the deal.
And you know what? You`ll never hear about Tiger Woods` personal life from her. That`s going to be the quid pro quo.
BEHAR: So maybe this is the end of the conversation about Tiger Woods?
ZIEGLER: I hope.
THOMAS: Let`s hope.
BEHAR: We`ve been talking about it so long.
THOMAS: I know.
BEHAR: I mean it`s really the longest thing.
THOMAS: I know.
BEHAR: Charlie sheen, another bargain. He joins also the infidelity -- ok. "In Touch Weekly" magazine ran photos of Charlie Sheen wearing fake mustache disguise -- you can see it on there -- while allegedly meeting the mistress. Who does he think he is fooling with the fake mustache?
THOMAS: I don`t know what I love more about the story. He`s now actually pulled a Britney and he has shaved his head, but also --
BEHAR: He shaved his head, too.
THOMAS: He shaved his head. But also he was out -- caught out with an escort. And when asked about what was happening, his rep said that he was counseling her. Who is getting counseling from Charlie Sheen these days?
BEHAR: That really is a lame idea, don`t you think?
ZIEGLER: But why is this guy marrying women? This is his third marriage.
BEHAR: Why do they like to be married all these guys. You know "In Touch Weekly" sent me this mustache. See if you recognize me?
(CROSSTALK)
LOVE: That could be Jesse James.
BEHAR: The other way? Sorry. It didn`t stick. There it is. Who am I? All right.
I mean, that`s a good question. I like that conversation. Why do they get married? Is it about ownership? They like to own their women? Is that what it`s about?
ZIEGLER: Perhaps. It`s a control thing, I think. A lot of times it looks good in the media because you have this perfect family and this two twin beautiful children and you look like that great guy.
You`re hiding behind that mustache or beard, shall we say and it`s really a facade. So stand up like a man. If you don`t want to be married and you want to go out and date a million women, Tiger Woods, go do it. But don`t have your wife at home.
BEHAR: Exactly.
Larry King, who is a colleague of ours, is getting a divorce. I`m actually -- I`m glad he`s back on the market, because I`m tired of fantasizing about John McCain frankly, so now I can have Larry as my -- anyway.
LOVE: I like them older.
BEHAR: And they both filed for divorce, he and his wife Shawn within hours of each other. What is the rush? Anybody have an idea of why --
LOVE: I think Larry King needs to interview himself on his own show and we could find out the truth.
BEHAR: That`s a good idea. And the divorce documents Larry asks for joint custody, but Shawn is asking for sole custody.
Now, I know that Larry King has been a great father. I know him and I know his kids and I know how attentive he is to his children and everything. Is this just being spiteful on her part? Why does she have to sue for sole custody?
ZIEGLER: Absolutely. That`s normally what happens unless the other parent is unfit and you can show that it`s not in their best interest to have at least sole custody with one parent or another.
Generally it`s joint legal custody. They`re both going to share in the decision-making power over the health, welfare and education of the children.
Unless you`re going to tell me that Larry can`t take care of these children on his own, which you just said he`s a great dad --
BEHAR: Yes.
ZIEGLER: It`s ridiculous.
LOVE: He`s a great father and grandfather, I think.
BEHAR: At the same time. Yes.
Now, he transferred three homes into his wife`s name. In the divorce -- maybe you know this Vikki -- can he get those houses back?
ZIEGLER: That`s a major problem, major problem.
LOVE: Why did he do that?
ZIEGLER: Things are going well, and you don`t know what happens when things are -- or people are happy or even maybe when they`re not. He said, listen, I`ll give you a house, I`ll give you a property because I assume there was a prenuptial agreement and probably his big fortune would stay out of it and she wouldn`t get a big portion.
However, maybe that isn`t the case. We don`t know. So it`s going to be very interesting to see what the asset structure is, what his net value is and if, in fact, there is a prenuptial agreement.
BEHAR: Two of houses are in Utah and one is in Beverly Hills. He`s Jewish. He doesn`t need two houses in Utah. What does he need two houses in Mormon Country. Let her live there.
ZIEGER: In the grand scheme three houses versus his net fortune, if he saves most of it, it`s not going to be a big deal.
BEHAR: Ok. Loni, you know, also gay women are getting divorced now. Melissa Etheridge --
LOVE: Why do you mention the gay women --
BEHAR: Because I want to bring you into the conversation. It had nothing to do with you. I don`t know if you`re gay or not.
LOVE: No. I like men.
BEHAR: You like men. Ok.
LOVE: The handicapped ones. Ok, go ahead.
BEHAR: You like handicapped men, is that what you said?
LOVE: Yes.
BEHAR: My makeup artist likes handicapped cats, but I`ve never heard someone express a need, a desire -- that`s fine -- very good for you, Loni.
LOVE: They get a check of the parking space.
BEHAR: I see. Is that the reason. Ok.
But Melissa and Tammy Etheridge have split up after -- what do you think of that -- after 9 years?
LOVE: That`s sad. I think that`s sad. And it just shows that there should be equality. If they could have equality in divorce, they should have equality in marriage. Let them get married and be miserable like all the married people.
BEHAR: Does the break up legally play out differently for gay couples?
ZIEGLER: Well, depending on if you have -- you live in a state there is same-sex marriage and civil unions or not. Melissa should be really happy because she was married in 2003 way before Prop 8 even came into effect and actual civil union. So they`re not legally married so she`s not going to have to share her fortune. Very good. So she`s going to have to pay child support.
LOVE: But what about the children though? They have children.
ZIEGLER: They`re going to share custody and she`s going to have to pay child support based on her earnings.
BEHAR: Well, she does pretty well, Melissa. I saw her in concert in Palm Springs last month. She was fabulous.
Mel Gibson, I`m really broken up about this one. He split from his home wrecker girlfriend that broke up his other marriage. And now they split up. Anyone shedding tears over this?
THOMAS: No, no. And he had married for 30 years and broke up with his wife last April and then, you know, took up with this woman. And their child is now 5 months old.
So do the math there. Clearly there was -- you know, the child came into the picture before they even announced that they were dating.
LOVE: I think she probably was -- he was mixing her up with his wife, so that`s what caused the breakup.
ZIEGLER: Doesn`t he have about 5 or 10 kids now?
THOMAS: I think he has 8.
BEHAR: A ton of them.
She`s blaming the split on infidelity. He`s blaming it on the Jews.
Also, this is sad. Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy also broke up. I feel bad about them. I thought they were a great couple.
LOVE: They`re really good.
BEHAR: What do you think of that?
LOVE: I think that there are probably some issues with his depression and may be that came into play.
BEHAR: With all his depression?
LOVE: Yes. He allegedly has -- suffers from depression.
THOMAS: That`s just being speculative and he`s ranting and raving on Twitter at all hours of the night saying that he`s not crazy. But he`s going on these long tirades about life and philosophy.
ZIEGLER: And Elin Woods too -- the recent tweet about Elin Woods. I really can`t believe that he`s talking about other people`s problems when he has his own.
So you know -- and it`s unfortunate because Jenny has an autistic child and he was really integrated and involved in raising the child and spending time with him. Now the child is not going to see him likely so that`s really sad.
BEHAR: That`s a sad one.
But you know, what he said about Elin Woods, actually there`s some truth to what he said. She didn`t know anything about it? It`s like Sandra Bullock, same thing. These girls knew nothing about their husbands?
ZIEGLER: We don`t know.
BEHAR: We don`t know.
ZIEGLER: But I can tell you in my practice there are people that are cheated on that have no idea. They`re busy raising children. Elin was pregnant for two years, she has two small children. Maybe you assume because he`s out so much and all these women come up to him and you know he can have whoever he wants.
I guess in your heart, you hope perhaps --
BEHAR: Yes.
ZIEGLER: And I don`t know, maybe she did know and she turned a blind eye. It just doesn`t seem -- the way she`s playing out in the media, it doesn`t seem like she --
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Do you think that the straw that broke her back because now she`s going to be suing for divorce we think was that young chick down the block, the 22-year-old that he was also sleeping with?
ZIEGLER: Well, when I read it, I mean I said listen, enough is enough. How much -- I mean torture can this woman take?
LOVE: How much can she take?
BEHAR: Right.
LOVE: It`s horrible.
BEHAR: It`s enough. It`s enough.
ZIEGLER: Absolutely.
BEHAR: Let her go to Sweden and be happy and marry Sven, whoever Sven is. Ok, thank you, everybody.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: Up next, Kathy Griffin stops by to discuss her latest smear campaign. I`ll explain after the break.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Coming up a little later on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, TV legend Jerry Springer drops by to talk about "Dancing with the Stars," Tea Parties and surviving 19 years as host of his own show.
Now back to Joy.
BEHAR: Katie Couric famously went on the air one morning and allowed the world to share in her colonoscopy. Well, comedian Kathy Griffin is raising the bar or at least the camera angle. She will become the first woman to receive a pap smear in front of millions poolside at a hotel in Los Angeles.
Joining me now is Kathy Griffin, comedian and star of Bravo`s "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List". Hi, Kathy.
KATHY GRIFFIN, COMEDIAN: Joy, I`ve really outdone myself this time, admit it.
BEHAR: You have but I mean, at the poolside, aren`t you afraid of getting chlorine in your cooch (ph)?
GRIFFIN: I`m afraid of getting a lot of things in my cooch. But I think you know, now is the time where I can start worrying about that frankly. I remember the `90s pretty well?
BEHAR: Ok, but are you nervous about having a public pap smear? I mean, there`s something there -- I wouldn`t, I don`t know if I would do it.
GRIFFIN: No.
BEHAR: And how much are we actually going to see?
GRIFFIN: You`re going to be mildly disgusted, but hopefully amused. And, you know, I thought about that, because you`re going to see probably a little too much of my naughty bits but not the full-on where the naughtiest of naughty happens. And there will be a speculum involved.
BEHAR: There will?
GRIFFIN: And of course, it`s poolside and I may have accidentally called the paparazzi as I want to do. And in preparation for this -- and by the way, there really is a point, which is if I`m doing this in such an insane, outrageous, over the top way, then the 47 percent of women who are afraid or nervous about getting a pap smear really should be able to do it quite easily after I do it on television.
And in preparation for the aesthetic issue, which comes up, I have been and currently am vajazzled.
BEHAR: Oh you what? Say it again. You what?
GRIFFIN: Joy -- Joy, I`m vajazzled right now.
BEHAR: Is that so? And you`re going to do this thing while you`re vajazzled? That doesn`t make sense. Doesn`t the -- don`t diamonds and the sequins get in the way of the procedure?
GRIFFIN: Look, that is a very -- that`s a very common issue here in Hollywood, because it`s very trendy to be vajazzled or ball-dazzled or pajazzled as the gays are wont to do.
BEHAR: I see.
GRIFFIN: And so I went ahead of time and I got vajazzled a little higher than normal. Because like I said, really the point is to encourage women to get these pap smears, not to just have people have to be rushed to the hospital because of nausea. And so I -- I`m vajazzled and I have a row -- well actually I shouldn`t say what it is.
BEHAR: How close are you going to let the cameras get?
GRIFFIN: The cameras are going to get as close as they can. However, and of course, it is for an episode of "My Life of the D List".
BEHAR: Right.
GRIFFIN: And -- but we will be doing a lot of pixelating. So done worry --
BEHAR: Does that hurt? Does that hurt -- pixelating?
GRIFFIN: I`m afraid that the pixelating, they`ll do in post- production. It will be something I`ll just feel randomly when they`re editing it in about three weeks.
BEHAR: Yes.
GRIFFIN: And I`ll probably just be having dinner somewhere and go, why does that hurt? And they`re just pixelating me then in post- production.
BEHAR: But I mean the vajazzling, do you color coordinate it, do you design it? I mean what style?
GRIFFIN: Well, you should know that there -- there`s a whole subculture of vajazzling that I did not know about until I got vajazzled all for women`s health. And so when I went to the vajazzling parlor and I like it that they call it a parlor like its real old tiny, there are several designs you can choose from. You can get anything from stars to your initials to sayings.
And I want you to know that I really wanted to put in crystal "Suck It" --
BEHAR: Yes.
GRIFFIN: -- but I could hear my mother yelling at me on my shoulder. And we decided not to do that.
BEHAR: Yes, if I were going to do it, I would do maybe a Picasso, but I don`t want to get a guitar stuck in my vulva that way. Do you know what I mean?
GRIFFIN: Look, I don`t know what`s been stuck in your vulva, and I can`t account for what`s in mine right now. But frankly the last thing we have to worry about is a couple of crystals.
BEHAR: Ok. But does it make it --
GRIFFIN: You know --
BEHAR: Yes, go ahead.
GRIFFIN: It`s funny because I -- I didn`t really want to get something too wacky because the truth of matter is even though this is obviously a ridiculous stunt, at the very end we are going to give real information about how women should get a pap smear once a year to prevent cervical cancer and HPV, et cetera.
So I thought, you know, if I put "Suck It" right above my hoo-ha --
BEHAR: Yes.
GRIFFIN: Then, people won`t even take that part seriously. So I went with something that I feel and you know all chicks who do porn say this, I feel is tasteful.
BEHAR: It is tasteful. But you know, it`s true. I mean, I`ve had them for many years -- pap smears. There`s a big nothing. You know and you have to do it. It`s not --
GRIFFIN: It`s a big nothing, but I can`t believe that I have girlfriends that are my age that say they haven`t had one in 10 years or young women that say oh, I`m too scared to go or I`m too nervous. And so honestly, the point of this is to just say just go once a year. It takes like five minutes if even.
BEHAR: You know, I can understand that attitude, because in my day a lot of the girls were virgins, believe it or not. But the younger girls, these girls are sleeping around like crazy now this is no big deal, believe me.
Now, let me talk about --
GRIFFIN: Yes, this is nothing compared to a rainbow party.
BEHAR: Exactly. Heidi Montag also did some -- something poolside recently. She unveiled her new bikini body. Take a look at the picture. Ok, what do you think of her new bod?
GRIFFIN: Wow, wow.
BEHAR: Those are big gazungas -- holy. Oh, my God.
GRIFFIN: They are such big gazungas that I think that Spencer is going to have to now, just start carrying them around like the old Janet Jackson "Rolling Stone" cover. So I think that they will be burdensome in like a matter of weeks actually.
BEHAR: They`re enormous. I think they`re coming towards me.
Ok, Kathy stay there we`ll back in a --
GRIFFIN: Now, if she goes -- if she has to go in a restaurant and like put them on a counter and sit at the diner and put them on the counter. She can`t even be seated at a table anymore?
BEHAR: God. Why would you wanted to walk around like that, you have to be like the hunchback of Notre Dame. You know what I mean?
GRIFFIN: She`s going to have to roll in summersaults.
BEHAR: All right. We`ll be back in a minute with more of Kathy Griffin and this very high-minded conversation we`re having.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry.
JERRY SPRINGER, TV HOST: Thank you. Thank you. Welcome back. My guests today say they`re tired -- tired of the lame excuses they`re getting from the men in their lives.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I am back with the hilarious and newly vajazzled Kathy Griffin.
Kathy, while Heidi Montag is posing in a bikini, a lot of other celebrities are baring it all in "Allure" magazine.
Look at these pictures. That`s "American Idol" judge, Kara Dioguardi. Then we have the "Entourage" star, Emanuelle Chriqui. Then another chick, Jessica Capshaw, and also Regina Hall. They`re all -- are these women doing a service to the world by showing their imperfect bodies, or what do you make of all of this suddenly?
GRIFFIN: First of all, here`s what I`m calling BS on right now. If that`s an imperfect body, then I really should be at a freak show because I am really sick of these chicks saying my body isn`t perfect, look at it. They really kind of have perfect bodies.
BEHAR: I know.
GRIFFIN: Let`s see the chick from "Precious". Ok. How about that?
BEHAR: Exactly. I`m waiting to see Linda Hunt on the a bear rug frankly.
GRIFFIN: Thank you. It`s about time.
They`re all invited to my public pap smear because really, like a beauty shot naked where you`re really hiding the hoo-ha and all that stuff. I want to see a naked woman like myself lying on her back with her boobs underneath her armpits where they belong because they`re real.
BEHAR: Ok. Exactly.
Now another topic -- I talked to Kate Gosselin yesterday. And you`ll be happy to know --
GRIFFIN: How`s she doing?
BEHAR: She`s doing great. She has like three new shows, but her husband Jon is suing for custody of the kids. Now, you know about the spotlight --
GRIFFIN: I thought -- when is he just going to join the cast of "Tool Academy"?
BEHAR: I don`t know.
GRIFFIN: I mean he really needs to just attend that "Tool Academy" and frankly, I don`t even think he could complete the junior college program there.
BEHAR: He spends a lot of money on his Ed Hardy shirts, you know, so he`ll be the hippest guy on the bread line.
(CROSSTALK)
GRIFFIN: While I`m getting vajazzled he`s been very bedazzled. He`s very into the Ed Hardy bedazzled baseball cap or trucker cap. And I get it. I get it.
Ed hardy went to his house and dropped off a box of free crap in Warnersville, Pennsylvania. Congratulations, Jon.
BEHAR: You know, he says he wants custody of the kids. Do you believe that? I don`t think he wants custody.
GRIFFIN: No. I don`t think -- I don`t think he can name those kids. No.
BEHAR: So what is he doing? What is this about?
GRIFFIN: I think he`s had a taste of the fame, and now he doesn`t know what to do without it. But you know, I`ve been watching that show since it was on the Discovery Channel, and it was a sweet, little Christian show about how is this couple going to raise these eight kids?
And now, they`re not so into the church bake-off anymore and I haven`t seen Jesus in a while. They haven`t been hitting the church nearly as much or at all. No, they`re addicted to fame.
BEHAR: They`re addicted to fame just like everybody else. Now we have -- there are a couple of --
GRIFFIN: Yes. And by the way, admittedly so, as am I but I am fascinated by Jon Gosselin`s K-Fed style weight gain. So I`m hoping to see him on Celebrity Fit Club ASAP.
BEHAR: What about "The Biggest Loser"? Maybe he could be on that.
GRIFFIN: He could on "Biggest Loser", but he`s like the Kirstie Alley of married reality stars who are trying to get a bunch of money from their wives.
I mean I will say this in Kate`s defense. She does work very hard.
BEHAR: She does.
GRIFFIN: Whether you agree with whatever her choices are, the "Dancing with the Stars is a grueller and then I do a reality show and know what that`s like. And she really does -- somebody is raising those eight kids.
At least she really is out there working. I`ve met her. She`s actually nice. I find her very easy to talk to.
BEHAR: She`s very nice and she told me a very true thing. She said if she went back to nursing she`d be away 12 hours a day. So let her stay on "Dancing with the Stars" and make some money. Right?
Ok. Kathy, thanks very much.
GRIFFIN: Yes, I agree.
BEHAR: Good luck with your pap smear.
GRIFFIN: Thanks, Joy.
BEHAR: Ok. Up next, the one and only Jerry Springer.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: He`s been a political reporter, and a commentator, an actor, and the mayor of Cincinnati. But he`s best known for the Jerry Springer show now in its 19th season. My god, that`s long. You know and he has a new gig. The Dating game show called "BAGGAGE" it premieres on GSN April 19th. Take a look at that.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JERRY SPRINGER, HOST, "BAGGAGE": Time to reveal your biggest baggage. Let`s start with you, Adam. "I expect my girlfriend to cook and clean for me."
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Huh-uh. I really find that offensive.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: I`m happy to welcome the always busy and sometimes controversial, the fabulous Jerry Springer. Hi, Jerry.
SPRINGER: Thank you and congratulations on your mug.
BEHAR: Thank you.
SPRINGER: Where can they get this? Where can they sign onto the mug?
BEHAR: I don`t know yet.
SPRINGER: That is great.
BEHAR: This is the first time we`ve had them, so I don`t really know.
SPRINGER: You look beautiful.
BEHAR: I do not.
SPRINGER: Look at this.
BEHAR: All right, anyway, you know this game show that you`re doing now -
SPRINGER: Yes, "BAGGAGE."
BEHAR: Fabulous idea, I think.
SPRINGER: It is. I wish I would have thought of it.
BEHAR: Me, too. We could have make nice change on that.
SPRINGER: And we could use some. I got expenses, I can tell you.
BEHAR: What is your biggest expense, Jerry?
SPRINGER: Uh, biggest expense?
BEHAR: Yes. Clothing? Not.
SPRINGER: Thanks for being with us. Tune in every night. Yes, no --
BEHAR: How hard can they about to deal with?
SPRINGER: Biggest expense?
BEHAR: No chairs are flying, nothing is going to happen to you here.
SPRINGER: I know. This is lovely. I know. Biggest expense?
BEHAR: Yes, what is it.
SPRINGER: Fuel.
BEHAR: Fuel? OK. OK. Fine, whatever.
SPRINGER: There`s no joke there. It`s a plane.
BEHAR: It`s a plane, oh you have your own plane?
SPRINGER: Well you don`t get fuel for a car. You say you get gas for a car.
BEHAR: See I didn`t know that.
SPRINGER: See now you want to be friendly suddenly.
BEHAR: I didn`t know you owned your own plane. You really have made some money over there, boy. All right --
SPRINGER: No, I volunteer to do my show.
BEHAR: OK, this show -
SPRINGER: Oh "BAGGAGE."
BEHAR: It is like the dating game, right?
SPRINGER: Yes, except that most of these game shows, you know, the beautiful contestants come on and talk about the best parts about themselves. You should go out with me because.
BEHAR: Yes.
SPRINGER: And then later on three, four, five dates later or later in life you find out what the baggage is. But on this show they come out with their three little bags, a little big, medium bag, and big bag and they open each one and there`s another bit of baggage. And so they have to choose which baggage they can accept and maybe you really want this one woman said I really want to go out with you and she opened up the bag and you find out she`s divorced with seven kids.
BEHAR: I see so that`s the baggage she`s carrying around.
SPRINGER: Yes, that`s the point.
BEHAR: It`s brilliant. Why are people with secrets so attracted to you? I mean this show has secrets and baggage.
SPRINGER: Nobody is attracted to me.
BEHAR: Yes we are, we are very attracted. Everyone is attracted to you. You`re very attractive, Jerry. Don`t act shy with me. A man with a plane is already attractive.
SPRINGER: Exactly.
BEHAR: You know what I`m saying? You don`t have to do that much.
SPRINGER: Because it`s hard to bring a plane into these clubs.
BEHAR: But I mean, people --
SPRINGER: I walk around with my pilot.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: But you said -
SPRINGER: What`d I say?
BEHAR: I`m like the crazy old uncle. People feel comfortable telling me their secrets, that I won`t be judgmental. That is true.
SPRINGER: Well that is true.
BEHAR: Yes.
SPRINGER: I mean joking aside, I am not judgmental. I`m really not. And I -- you know I think I`m nice to people. So I`m not going to yell at them, I`m not going to say you`re so stupid, how could you do that -
BEHAR: Yes.
SPRINGER: Or something like that.
BEHAR: Yes.
SPRINGER: You know because the truth is, we`re all alike.
BEHAR: But on your show they show how stupid they are without saying it, right?
SPRINGER: Yes but the only difference, I`ve never met a human being that could not be on my show. And that`s the truth. Every human being could be on my show. Ninety percent of us would never go on the show, including me, but 10 percent would. And 10 percent of America is 30 million people. That`s a lot of shows.
BEHAR: OK fine, let`s look at your shows. You`re in the 19th season of the Jerry Springer show, which is just as crazy as ever. Let`s look at that.
SPRINGER: Oh this is - this is -
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hold on. I can`t talk to these (EXPLICATIVE DELETED). Hold that. You are not marrying my son. No. You are controlling. He can`t even have his friends. He can`t even be around his family? No, you are not marrying my son. (EXPLICATIVE DELETED)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Now, that is a fun mother-in-law.
SPRINGER: Yes.
BEHAR: Now why is one dressed in a bridal gown on your show?
SPRINGER: Because -- she`s going to get married -
BEHAR: On your show?
SPRINGER: Of course. Is there a better place to be married?
BEHAR: No, I guess not. And whose teeth are missing?
SPRINGER: It was the mother, the mother that took the teeth out because we don`t want the teeth hurt.
BEHAR: Oh, I see. So you really do prevent injuries over there. In some way.
SPRINGER: We`re very concerned.
BEHAR: So how much of these fights are staged exactly? Come on.
SPRINGER: Oh no, no, if you`re there you see it`s real. They don`t hurt each other, they pull each other`s hair. There`s security there and nobody gets hurt. No, but they`re really angry. Honestly it`s all true.
BEHAR: You geek them up. They come in there with their agendas, and then you geek them up.
SPRINGER: Well they wouldn`t call the show -- look, you can put these same people on Oprah, and they would behave perfectly well.
BEHAR: Right.
SPRINGER: It`s that they -- the only way to get on the show is by calling the show. The only way you know our number -- we`re in the phone book. Is by seeing the number on the screen which means you have seen the show before to memorize it.
BEHAR: Yes.
SPRINGER: They know that --
BEHAR: But don`t you think some of them say you know let`s come up with something really good. I`ll take my teeth out -
SPRINGER: Producers are very -
BEHAR: I`ll hit my daughter-in-law and we`ll do a show.
SPRINGER: No, the producers are very good in finding out whose making up stories, not, oh do they get excited on the show? Sure.
BEHAR: It`s showbiz and they all know it.
SPRINGER: Well it`s just like here I have been briefed so much on what to say on this show.
BEHAR: No, you haven`t.
SPRINGER: On this show -
BEHAR: This show is free-for-all. This is really free-for-all.
SPRINGER: Now I`m supposed to raise my right arm and put down. It says first when you come out here, talk about the mug-
BEHAR: No, that`s not true, stop lying.
SPRINGER: So I did.
BEHAR: You lie. Now listen -
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: What do you say to critics who say you`re exploiting dysfunction and lowering the level of discourse in this country and bringing us to ruin?
SPRINGER: Guilty.
BEHAR: Guilty as charged.
SPRINGER: Tell me something I don`t know. No, the only thing I would say we don`t -
BEHAR: Yes.
SPRINGER: Is the exploitation part. That I really disagree with, with the exploitation.
BEHAR: Because?
SPRINGER: Well the idea that our show contrary virtually -- I was in journalism for 10 years. Contrary to any news programs I`ve been on, virtually every show I`ve been on our show is purely voluntary to the point even after the show is taped they can decide what they don`t want in it. They can change their names. They can wear wigs as long as they stay on it or whatever.
BEHAR: Yes.
SPRINGER: They can disguise. In other words, they get a list, here`s something that`s amazing. They get a list before they`re on the show of 21 possible surprises if there`s going to be a surprise.
BEHAR: Right.
SPRINGER: And they have to check off all of them before we go on with the show. So in other words --
BEHAR: Well that covers you guys.
SPRINGER: Plus, I`m not interested in hurting them. I have no interest in that.
BEHAR: No, it`s entertainment.
SPRINGER: So therefore.
BEHAR: Yes.
SPRINGER: When there`s a surprise on the show they don`t know which of the 21 it`s going to be, but they`ve agreed that they`re OK with whichever one this is.
BEHAR: Oh I see.
SPRINGER: So they can`t say I wouldn`t have gone on the show if I found out my girlfriend`s really a guy.
BEHAR: I see, have you been sued?
SPRINGER: No. Not on that.
BEHAR: No.
SPRINGER: From day one we did that. So now, does our show show craziness? Yes, because the show is about craziness.
BEHAR: Right.
SPRINGER: If you do a show on murderers, then the people you have on the show are going to be about people that committed murder.
BEHAR: Right.
SPRINGER: Our show is about crazy, so of course it`s crazy.
BEHAR: I see it`s lasted all the years. The ratings are up.
SPRINGER: We have the kids from the original guests on the show.
BEHAR: That is frightening. The next generation is demented, too. And you are proud of this, he shouts it from the rooftop.
SPRINGER: No, I`m angry about it because these people were told not to procreate, and they did anyway.
BEHAR: Well maybe they need to follow Bristol Palin`s abstinence program.
SPRINGER: We are going to start handing it out.
BEHAR: Why do you think, these other shows, "MONTEL WILLIAMS" and "JENNY JONES" went off the air. What`s the secret different from their theirs?
SPRINGER: Because we`re really stupid.
BEHAR: They were just moderately stupid.
SPRINGER: No, yes, yes, they toyed with it, it`s like, you know they dipped their toe in the water.
BEHAR: Yes. I see.
SPRINGER: We`re a circus. It`s crazy. It`s nuts.
BEHAR: OK, Jerry. We`re just getting started. I want to take on some stories in the news when we come back, OK? Yes.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with Jerry Springer. Now you were the mayor of Cincinnati at one point.
SPRINGER: Yes, yes.
BEHAR: So you know from politics.
SPRINGER: Yes.
BEHAR: Let`s talk a little politics.
SPRINGER: Sure.
BEHAR: A new poll is out today, that T -- it was on the "New York Times" front page today, I was looking at. Tea partiers tend to be wealthier and more well educated than the general public, this is very surprising information, Republican.
SPRINGER: Yes.
BEHAR: Well that wasn`t surprising.
SPRINGER: No.
BEHAR: White. Duh.
SPRINGER: Yes.
BEHAR: Male.
SPRINGER: Yes.
BEHAR: Married and older than 45. Sounds like you.
SPRINGER: Yes.
BEHAR: Doesn`t it?
SPRINGER: Yes, except I`m --
BEHAR: Not republican?
SPRINGER: No. I tend to be liberal. I don`t think there is any surprise, and I don`t think there`s any -- I disagree with the tea partiers.
BEHAR: Which part do you disagree with?
SPRINGER: Most of the issues in terms their conservatism, in terms of the fact there`s no room for government involvement on health care, for example.
BEHAR: Yes.
SPRINGER: Here`s my disagreement on the health care -
BEHAR: OK.
SPRINGER: And I know it passed and a lot of work still needs to be done on it. But I don`t understand the argument against it. One thousandth of 1 percent of Americans will leave this earth because they happen to be unfortunate enough to be anyway building that gets hit by a terrorist plane.
BEHAR: Right.
SPRINGER: Ninety nine point nine percent of us will leave this earth because of a disease or an accident.
BEHAR: That`s right.
SPRINGER: so we know what`s ultimately going to kill us. And if it`s to spend trillions on a wars that we never asked exactly where the money is going, there are no hearings on that, just go -
BEHAR: Yes.
SPRINGER: Do what you got to do, we rah-rah that. And then when it`s a minute possibility that something is going to happen to you personally, and yet when you know everyone in your family ultimately going to die from disease, why is it so hard for us to agree. Let`s make sure just as a starting point everyone in America has health insurance. We say in the seventh inning of every ball game how much we love America when we sing "God Bless America" how can you love America and not love Americans? How is it OK that 30 million - 15 million didn`t have health insurance or afford the premiums.
BEHAR: Well the argument is that it`s going to take us deeper in debt. When it was the Iraq war, nobody complained about it.
SPRINGER: Right.
BEHAR: When George Bush raised the deficit, nobody complained about it. Now they complain about it. Would it interest you to know these tea partiers do not want their Medicare taken away or their social security taken away.
SPRINGER: Yes, I know, I saw that.
BEHAR: That was very interesting. I thought they were against socialism. They are yelling socialism, what happened to that?
SPRINGER: Well of course.
BEHAR: Yes.
SPRINGER: But that`s human nature.
BEHAR: Because it`s for them. It`s like I`ve got mine, give me mine. Forget about you.
SPRINGER: Yes. Well that`s the difference between political conservatism and political liberalism. Conservatives are for low taxes because conservatives tend to be, as this shows, they tend to be wealthier, they tend to be self-sufficient. You know the lower you are on the economic scale, the more likely you are to vote Democrat. It is not -- there is not, there is no exception to this rule. The wealthier the income of a community is, the more Republican it is. That`s why inner cities are always Democrat, vote 99 percent Democrat, and that is why wealthy suburbs vote 99 percent Republican. It`s not coincidence. It`s because if you can afford your own private school, your own home, your own vacation, your own transportation, you don`t need government very much. The chances are you`re going to be -- to vote for low taxes and conservative.
BEHAR: You`ll be fine, so there`s a selfishness about it in a way.
SPRINGER: It`s self interest.
BEHAR: I`ve got mine and screw you?
SPRINGER: It`s self interest.
BEHAR: What are they angry about though, these people? They say they are angry. Most Americans got tax cuts this year. The wealthy, wealthy are going to get hit, obviously, people who make a certain amount of money. Why are they so ticked off, these people?
SPRINGER: Well I think a lot are ticked off. And by the way, if they`re angry I don`t disrespect that. If you`re angry, they`re angry. These people are hurt.
BEHAR: I think they`re angry about something other than they think they`re angry about.
SPRINGER: Well that`s always true.
BEHAR: I mean maybe - I mean I`m not throwing it out rightly. Maybe it`s because there`s an African-American in the White House. Maybe they`re angry about that. They don`t like that idea --
SPRINGER: I don`t think it`s that specific.
BEHAR: No.
SPRINGER: But, I don`t -- that`s my guess. I don`t know. I think there is an America in their mind that they grew up with, which we all grew up with, that doesn`t exist so much anymore. America is changing. It is changing, whether you think it`s a good thing, get over it. It`s changing. The demographics are changing. In what, 30 years most Americans won`t be white.
BEHAR: That`s true but that`s one of the reasons I think they`re angry.
SPRINGER: Yes.
BEHAR: It`s because they`re hanging on by their fingernails.
SPRINGER: The idea of going back to the `50s or `60s.
BEHAR: Yes, it`s not going to happen.
SPRINGER: It isn`t going to happen.
BEHAR: I hated that period anyway. It was so repressed, and women were not working as much.
SPRINGER: Except the Dick Van Dyke Show. I liked that.
BEHAR: Oh well that`s true. You know what, all right, what about this idea that Lou Dobbs -- I was just reading, he told "GQ" that he`s not ruling out a presidential bid. Lou Dobbs wants to run for president, maybe, what do you think of that?
SPRINGER: Everybody should run, then.
BEHAR: No, I mean -
SPRINGER: Let everyone run. You know it`s a function of having 24/7 media.
BEHAR: I guess so, yeah.
SPRINGER: It really is. Everyone who gets a spotlight suddenly starts envisioning that they can do that. It`s amazing - look, I think he could very well run for something like the senate, some legislative body because he has a point of view and is very articulate.
BEHAR: Right.
SPRINGER: It`s not a point of view I like.
BEHAR: But president is out of the question. That`s overstepping.
SPRINGER: Because why - you know, I wouldn`t suddenly stand up and say, you know what, I`m running for surgeon. I want to do your operation. What are you talking about?
BEHAR: Yes exactly.
SPRINGER: And yet some people think I run for president because they have no experience in what it takes to be a president of the United States. That`s what`s foolish about it.
BEHAR: OK Sarah Palin said the prospect of a Romney/Palin ticket sounds pretty good. What do you think of that idea?
SPRINGER: OK, this may surprise you. OK, I do not want Sarah Palin to be president of United states, and I don`t want her to be vice president because I don`t think -- I personally don`t think she`s qualified to be that. But -
BEHAR: Yes go ahead.
SPRINGER: But, but, but, on Sarah Palin, unlike most of my liberal friends, I think we have to be very careful. She is a good and decent person from everything I can see.
BEHAR: Uh huh.
SPRINGER: She has views that may be different than mine, but there is something that the liberals are doing wrong. We are mocking her. When we mock her, we mock a large segment of that is fundamentalist.
BEHAR: She mocks us plenty. Honey, I disagree with you.
SPRINGER: Well, I`m going to leave after this show.
BEHAR: Sit tight. We`ll have some more with Jerry Springer right after this.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with Jerry Springer. I`ve got some Facebook and Twitter questions for you from people all right?
SPRINGER: Yes.
BEHAR: OK, would you ever consider running for political office?
SPRINGER: I`d consider.
BEHAR: Would you do it?
SPRINGER: I`d consider. I think about it all the time. Am I likely to do it? Do I think about it? Sure.
BEHAR: Do you think you could win?
SPRINGER: Well yes I think I could win. But - so what?
BEHAR: As what? As what? What would you run for?
SPRINGER: Congress, senate - something like that.
BEHAR: You have enough experience, you could do it. The mayor of Cincinnati.
SPRINGER: Can I get mugs, though? Vote Jerry all the time.
BEHAR: The mayor of Cincinnati and Governor of Alaska, equal or not, in experience?
SPRINGER: I think being mayor, not talking about myself. I think being mayor of a major city is the toughest job in America because the city is where all the problems fall on. These are the people --
BEHAR: And you have to wait for money from the state, which is a problem.
SPRINGER: Right, you are not in control, and the money is leaving the city. That`s the toughest job.
BEHAR: OK, have you ever been hit by a guest or audience member on your show?
SPRINGER: No. I`m a chicken. I`m nowhere near the fights.
BEHAR: You duck and let the bodyguards --
SPRINGER: Of course I do, this is a rented suit.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: What state do the majority of your guests come from?
SPRINGER: Where are you from?
BEHAR: I don`t know.
SPRINGER: Where are you from?
BEHAR: I`m from New York State.
SPRINGER: There you go.
BEHAR: That`s where they come from?
SPRINGER: No, I have no idea but I always, whenever, people is - I have no idea. They come from every place. They`re in your neighborhoods, be careful.
(LAUGHTER)
SPRINGER: Did you lock your doors? You have no idea, they could be in your home.
BEHAR: What`s the weirdest thing you`ve ever encountered on your show?
SPRINGER: The man who married his horse.
BEHAR: What do you mean he married his horse?
SPRINGER: He married his horse. You are so anti-marriage.
BEHAR: He married his horse on your show?
SPRINGER: Not on the know. He had married his horse, he lived outside of St. Louis, about 50 miles outside St. Louis. We went to his home, the hallways were extra wide so the horse could go up and down. He literally lived with his horse. And but we did a follow-up show so you don`t think we are too over the top because the horse left him.
BEHAR: Really?
SPRINGER: Yes they left the door open.
BEHAR: Who got custody of the barn? What are you talking about?
SPRINGER: I have no idea.
BEHAR: He married his horse?
SPRINGER: He married his horse.
BEHAR: Catherine the great, she had a little thing for her horse also.
SPRINGER: You`re so full of gossips.
BEHAR: It`s true, I`m a lot of gossip like the Russians, 100 years ago. Are there any episodes you regret doing?
SPRINGER: Yes.
BEHAR: Like what?
SPRINGER: the Jerry Springer show, 19 years of it. It`s a stupid -- no, it`s meant to be outrageous. So I can`t then say, I can`t believe we ran that show, it was outrageous. Those are the rules. If you call us with a warm uplifting story, I`m dead serious now -
BEHAR: Yes.
SPRINGER: We are required to send you to another show, we`re not allowed to run it. That`s the rule. So it has to be outside of the mainstream, it has to be outside of normal human behavior before it`s allowed to be on the show. So I can`t then say, oh, we can`t run it. I`m not allowed to run it if it`s normal.
BEHAR: It`s really easy to find these people isn`t it? They come to you in droves.
SPRINGER: And walk down every street in America, tell me you don`t know, you`ve never seen people before like that. It`s everywhere. Read the headlines of the papers, it`s famous people.
BEHAR: Yes.
SPRINGER: What`s different -- the only difference between the people on my show and celebrities that we have in this country or politicians we have in this country is that the politicians and celebrities are wealthier and dress better. They don`t behave any better, their language is better that`s all.
BEHAR: Well I`ve never seen a celebrity who married his horse, though. I mean let`s tell the truth here.
SPRINGER: Mr. Ed?
BEHAR: Oh that`s right. I forgot. Anyway thank you for joining me tonight, Jerry.
SPRINGER: Me too.
BEHAR: Always a pleasure to see you. Be sure to catch the premiere of "BAGGAGE" this coming Monday on GSM. Good night, everybody.
END
