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Joy Behar Page
NYC Terror Suspect Busted; Mario Madness; Interview With Joan Rivers
Aired May 04, 2010 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
JOY BEHAR, HOST: Tonight on THE JOY BEHAR SHOW, another terror attack in New York is averted. But we`re left wondering when the next one will happen, and will we be able to stop it? We`ll discuss this story.
Then, "Bones" actor, David Boreanaz claims his mistress tried to extort money from him. Where are all these mistresses coming from, anyway? Don`t these women have any other hobbies? Whatever happened to macrame? I love that.
And trying to name people funnier than Joan Rivers is like trying to come up with someone more surly and nasty than Dick Cheney. It cannot be done. The living legend joins me.
That and more right now.
The man who officials believe tried to set off a car bomb in Times Square has been charged with international terrorism and attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction. Faisal Shahzad was literally yanked of a plane just minutes before it took off for Dubai last night.
President Obama spoke earlier today about the terror threat.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: The American people can be assured that the FBI and their partners in this process have all the tools and experience they need to learn everything we can. And that includes what, if any, connection this individual has to terrorist groups. And it includes collecting critical intelligence as we work to disrupt any future attacks.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: But was this the act of one loan man, or is he connected to something larger? And why is New York still a terrorist target?
Joining me are Mary Snow, CNN correspondent; Representative Loretta Sanchez of California, who is the vice chair of the house homeland security committee and the chair of the House on services subcommittee on terrorism; and Bill Bratton, former Los Angeles police chief and NYPD commissioner.
Welcome, everybody.
Let me start with you Mary. The suspect is Faisal Shahzad. Who is this guy exactly?
MARY SNOW, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Well, we know Joy that he is 30 years old, a naturalized citizen from Pakistan. And the house behind me is the last known residence for him in Bridgeport. We talked to neighbors here; no one really knew him very well. He`s been living here for the past couple of months.
He had been living with his wife and two children in the town of Shelton not far from here. We`re told from neighbors that he was last -- the family was last there in the spring of 2009. That home had been in foreclosure. And they last saw them in about July.
As for Connecticut, you know, he spent several years here. He went to school at the University of Bridgeport, and then he went back to get his MBA in 2005.
We talked to one of his advisers, and he said, you know, there was nothing remarkable about him and that there was nothing that caused him to suspect that he`d be having this conversation five years later and answering questions about him.
BEHAR: Where are the wife and kids now? Do we know where they are?
SNOW: We don`t know where -- yes, we don`t know where the wife and children are. We do know, though, CNN has learned that his father was a senior officer in the Pakistani Air Force. He is now retired. And we have also learned that he has a brother in Canada.
BEHAR: Thank you very much, Mary. Ok. Let me talk to you, Bill. The guy was put -- was on a no-fly list. But that was only right before they went to the plane where he was on, going to Dubai. Why wasn`t he on a no-fly list previous to that?
BILL BRATTON, FORMER NYPD COMMISSIONER: Well, apparently, he didn`t appear on anybody`s radar in the intelligence community --
BEHAR: Yes.
BRATTON: -- until this event. We`re fortunate that he didn`t attempt to flee the country Saturday night or Sunday night because he would have been long gone.
BEHAR: Right. So we were lucky.
BRATTON: We were lucky in the sense that the no-fly posting was put in place in time to actually catch him as he did attempt to flee.
BEHAR: Yes. But I mean how does one get on a no-fly list? What is the criterion?
BRATTON: Actually that is not known publicly.
BEHAR: Oh, I see.
BRATTON: And it is -- and that is one of the great quandaries of those who are on the list trying to get off who are on there inappropriately. That`s one of those best kept secrets as to how to get on that. He certainly as an active terrorist would rate assignment to that list, though.
BEHAR: I see. But this guy spent time in Peshawar in Pakistan, which is a known terrorist recruiting area. And he was there for quite a while. Then he came back to the United States.
Didn`t that raise any red flags for anybody? He was a naturalized citizen, you know --
BRATTON: Yes. The President talked about today the intelligence effort now going forth -- going forward will attempt to determine, were there any red flags that were missed? But the reality is we have tens of thousands of Pakistani citizens and others going in and out of Pakistan every year.
BEHAR: But going in to Peshawar?
BRATTON: Literally any part of Pakistan has the potential for these types of training initiatives. So the effort to gather intelligence, to use it appropriately is one of the challenges facing the government so that we`re in the sense not overwhelmed.
You want to be able to try and glean what you can have what you have.
BEHAR: Right. He is now saying that he was trained by militants. They now know that information.
BRATTON: Ok. I think some of the interviews that he gave -- all that information`s going to start coming out in the next couple of days. It will help to fill in the picture, if you will.
BEHAR: Ok. Ok, Congressman, there`ve been arrests in Pakistan, we understand. He`s admitted to working, being trained by militants. Do you think that he was working with extremists?
REP. LORETTA SANCHEZ (D), CALIFORNIA: Well, if it comes true that, in fact, those first initial reports that we`ve received now that he was trained, well, of course, he was working with people. And that`s one of the reasons why the chief will tell you we send in people to his apartment and other places that he`s been to get the forensic information to see who else is involved in this.
And as we know, I mean, we -- this al Qaeda and Taliban insurgent issue, jihadist extremists, if you will, are all around the world. And they connect to each other. And the biggest way they connect is through e- mail, on the Internet, on -- believe it or not -- Facebook.
So these new social networking, while it`s great for our kids and for ourselves to talk to other people, these terrorists are also using it in a very sophisticated way to talk to each other and to recruit in particular.
BEHAR: It makes it even more difficult because of the technology and everything. But, you know, it was interesting to me that he was charged with the use of a weapon of mass destruction. It`s interesting that they call it a typical car bomb a mass destruction weapon. I always think it`s for chemical weaponry or nuclear weapons.
BRATTON: It`s a term of law -- and my assumption would be that it`s one being used in the federal charges because he`s being charged federally. But it is the idea that it would indiscriminately cause mass casualties. And that would certainly have been the case if this thing had exploded in Times Square.
BEHAR: Yes. New York Mayor Bloomberg -- hold on one second -- Bloomberg spoke earlier today about terrorists targeting the city. Watch this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MAYOR MICHAEL BLOOMBERG, NEW YORK CITY: We have to take every precaution, as you know, because we remain a prime target for terrorists. That`s something that all New Yorkers understand. And it`s something that we need Washington to understand, as well.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Ok. New York has thwarted 11 terrorist attempts. You know, why do they keep coming back to New York?
BRATTON: Because we are the prime terrorist target, not one of -- the prime terrorist target --
BEHAR: Why not Washington, D.C.?
BRATTON: Washington is the seat of our government, the democracy that they hate so much.
BEHAR: Right.
BRATTON: New York, however, is the news capital of the world; it is the financial capital of the country, if not the world. It has a large entertainment venue, has a huge Jewish population, one out of every 40 New Yorker is Jewish --
BEHAR: Do you really think that`s a point?
BRATTON: That`s certainly a factor.
BEHAR: Really?
BRATTON: Los Angeles, where I was most recently chief of police, also a large Jewish population, but the entertainment capital of the world; all the things that these jihadists hate, democracy, finance, entertainment, Jews. So it basically --
BEHAR: Oh, boy.
BRATTON: New York has it all, if you will.
BEHAR: I see.
Congresswoman, federal funding to New York City for anti-terror programs has been cut since 9/11. Why are they giving a place like, let`s say I`ll pick it out of a hat, Kansas City, more money than New York City? What is that about?
SANCHEZ: Joy, the chief and I have fought even as he was in Los Angeles to get moneys to large urban areas, concentrated urban areas like New York. Washington, D.C., of course, is also a target. Los Angeles where we saw the millennium bomber and the chief will tell you there were various other terrorist attacks that were thwarted also to there.
So what happens is that we really should be looking at the risk factors, at the real threats that are posed. And if you do that -- well, if you`re a terrorist, you probably will attack areas that have a large number of people and a very dense arena. That would be New York City, that would be Los Angeles, for example.
And, yet, because of the politics a lot of times in the Congress, it`s difficult to get that money sent because someone out in Kansas City might say, "Hey, I`ve got a chemical factory, right down the street from where I have a large residential community," and they don`t have the money to put up the right type of safety in case someone tries to blow that up. So everybody here is fighting.
BEHAR: You know what? They can say whatever they want. New York is the target. It has been for 11 thwarted attacks, we`re saying. It`s irrational and annoying, frankly, to listen to any kind of an argument like that.
BRATTON: It`s very similar to what went on in London.
SANCHEZ: Joy, it`s probably more than that.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: You have the last word, Congresswoman, then I have to go.
SANCHEZ: Look, New York thwarted more than 11. Let`s face it. The chief and I can`t talk about some of that. L.A. has had the same thing. Anywhere where you have a large population -- D.C., we`ve had several incidents where we`ve been able to stop them.
BEHAR: Ok, thank you so much both of you. It`s a terrible situation.
Up next, something a little more fun. Mario Lopez stops by for some pop culture dish.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Coming up a little later on the JOY BEHAR SHOW, "Saved by the Bell" star, Mario Lopez shares his secrets to staying extra lean.
And Joan Rivers drops by to talk about money, motherhood, and mortality.
Now back to Joy.
BEHAR: Ok, "Bones" actor David Boreanaz has decided to admit to cheating on his wife of nine years rather than submit to a mistress`s reported six figure demands to keep the affair quiet. So, in this post Tiger world we live in, is every pouton (ph) looking for her payday or what?
With me to discuss this and more are Mario Lopez, host of "Extra" and the author of "Extra Lean: The fat burning plan that changes the way you eat for life" and comedian, fabulous Caroline Rhea.
Ok, Mario --
MARIO LOPEZ, HOST, "EXTRA": Yes.
BEHAR: All these mistresses now are going to -- they are turning to blackmail in order to make some money off of these rich guys. Are you worried about anybody coming out of the closet for you?
LOPEZ: I`m not (INAUDIBLE) so no I`m not worried. But I`ll tell you what I`m fascinated by.
BEHAR: Yes.
LOPEZ: When did becoming a mistress become the new breakout role? Because before --
BEHAR: Yes.
LOPEZ: -- mistresses used to want to hide; they never wanted to be seen. Now they`re in these magazines, Tiger`s mistresses are featured in "Vanity Fair" --
BEHAR: I know.
LOPEZ: -- a reputable magazine, I`m like blown away by this. Two parts, I think, one, they want to sort of -- am I like slipping into host mode here?
BEHAR: No it`s ok, go ahead.
LOPEZ: They want their own celebrity, right?
BEHAR: Yes, yes.
LOPEZ: Which is -- and then they turn into this whole extortion thing. And I don`t think it`s necessarily men are cheating more or more men is cheating, I think there`s just so many ways to get caught now. I think texting, e-mail, Facebook, Twitter.
BEHAR: Right.
LOPEZ: So all these social networking is the new lipstick on the collar. So if you`re going to be living a certain lifestyle, then just be aware because unfortunately, you`re going to get caught.
BEHAR: Ok. Let me read you --
CAROLINE RHEA, COMEDIAN: This is prostitution on a lay away plan. This is like you do the lay, you want them to go away, they won`t, you have to pay.
BEHAR: Let me read Boreanaz`s statement. Ok, "Our marriage has been tainted with my infidelities. I just want to be open and honest. I was irresponsible, I was associated with a woman who I was involved with and had relationship with. She asked for money, I felt as though I was being blackmailed or there was some sort of extortion."
He wants to be open and honest. Caroline, is he being open and honest?
RHEA: Because he`s about to get nailed to the wall?
BEHAR: Yes, exactly.
RHEA: I think you have to sign a pre-shtoop (ph) negotiation now.
BEHAR: Yes.
RHEA: If seriously --
BEHAR: Sure.
RHEA: -- if you`re going to have sex with somebody now.
LOPEZ: Pre-shtoop.
RHEA: What do you -- the pre-shtoop. I don`t know that he -- he would have come forward do you think?
BEHAR: If he wasn`t threatened -- he was paying her some money.
RHEA: Right.
BEHAR: And then she wanted more. So he said rather than pay her more money, I`m just going to come out and tell it.
LOPEZ: Him, like David Letterman I think needed to, because if not, they`re going to do the circuit and they`re going to -- they`re going to try to create their own celebrity. And all these embarrassing details are going to come out.
BEHAR: Right.
LOPEZ: And Letterman, he was so smart about the way he handled it, admitted his mistakes, was ahead of it.
BEHAR: Yes.
LOPEZ: And it just sort of squashed everything.
BEHAR: It`s the smart way to do it.
RHEA: Ok, these mistresses by the way they`re not having affairs by themselves. You know what I mean? The men are not complete innocents in this.
LOPEZ: But I`m not saying they are --
RHEA: I know but you`re saying the mistresses are going on the big circuit. And they are -- you know -- there are two people who are having this --
LOPEZ: No but I just think it speaks volumes of society and how we accept -- and not necessarily accept it -- but how it puts things in perspective. Because back in the day, it wasn`t the case that we`d even give a mistress the time of day, now we feature them in magazines.
BEHAR: I know. Times have changed Mario.
LOPEZ: Sure. Times are changing. Look, they`re having reality shows.
BEHAR: That`s right. Everybody`s fair game now. The fact that he paid the mistress in the initial thing --
RHEA: Why was he paying her?
BEHAR: Well, because she was probably saying, "Listen, I`m going to tell your wife, I`m going to tell it." So he paid her a little bit.
RHEA: Right.
BEHAR: That sort of opened the door for more extortion, didn`t it? Now, her lawyer Gloria Allred, they all go to Gloria Allred now. She`s the go-to lawyer for these mistresses, apparently.
RHEA: I`ve heard of torts in the law, now she`s got tarts.
BEHAR: Well, you know she is saying that there`s no such thing. We`ll see, ok.
LOPEZ: Yes, she`s definitely got that market cornered, though.
BEHAR: She does, she does.
Ok, now Naomi Campbell told Oprah Winfrey that her mother is the one to blame for her notorious temper. She`s almost 40, time to move on? Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
NAOMI CAMPBELL, MODEL: It comes from -- I don`t know where what I kind of do. It comes from, I think an abandonment issue and it comes from also just trying to build up a family around me that`s not my immediate family. And if I feel that they -- if I feel a mistrust, then I really just all my cards go down.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Ok. Lots of people have abandonment issues and don`t throw phones at their people. For example, Nelson Mandela was abandoned. I have a list --
LOPEZ: Yes.
BEHAR: -- of other abandoned children. Lewis Armstrong, Julius Caesar was abandoned, who knew.
RHEA: Really?
BEHAR: Yes, Ingrid Bergman and Bill Clinton and they all got over it.
RHEA: Everybody has abandonment issues. First of all, abandonment issues don`t turn you into a hitter, or we wish more players on the mats would have been abandoned they would have been better hitters.
BEHAR: That`s true.
LOPEZ: I like it.
RHEA: I mean, we should tap and think at this point. What -- what`s the correlation? Maybe she`s 39 years old and she`s a supermodel and she`s slapping people because she`s freaking hungry. It`s been years, starving herself.
BEHAR: Feed the poor girl.
LOPEZ: You know Joy, one of my biggest pet peeves --
BEHAR: Yes, what?
LOPEZ: -- is society now sort of passing the blame. Nobody wants to take any semblance of responsibility.
BEHAR: Right.
LOPEZ: She`s had a charmed life, she`s a supermodel, she`s made tons of money. And she`s got issues. She`s got anger management issues and they need to be dealt with. And she needs help.
But as far as blaming your parents and blaming this and everybody being so quick to pass the blame, you`re an adult. You know the difference between right and wrong.
BEHAR: That`s right.
LOPEZ: Use a little common sense and accept responsibility.
BEHAR: But I`ve had a lot of therapy. Why don`t they get therapy these people and stop acting out all over the place? No, that never occurs to anybody.
RHEA: I`m sure she`s had a therapist --
BEHAR: Oh please.
RHEA: -- who is probably now terrified every time she comes in the room. And like -- put down the Blackberry, we won`t talk about your mother.
BEHAR: You know ok, all right, here`s another story.
And finally Letterman`s blackmailer Joe Halderman began his six- month jail sentence today. Plenty of time to work on that screen play.
RHEA: He is going to make a nice poncho. I`ll bet you.
BEHAR: Do you think that six months is enough for this guy?
RHEA: Yes, I think then Letterman should have him on the top ten things I learned in prison. That`s what he should be doing six months from now.
LOPEZ: He probably would --
BEHAR: What do you think Mario?
RHEA: You know what, he`s the worst criminal. I mean --
BEHAR: Who? This guy?
RHEA: I adore my Letterman, he made a mistake, and this guy tried to extort money.
BEHAR: He made several mistakes, not just one.
LOPEZ: I agree, he made a mistake. But at the same time, what he did, what Halderman did deserves to be punished. And I`m really happy that he`s in jail. And he`s going to be serving his time.
BEHAR: You are?
LOPEZ: Yes and I think he should serve all his time, not get off early or any sort of good behavior, because you can`t be setting this sort of precedence. Because look at what`s happening here. There`s this pattern of extortion that`s just happening.
Now granted, if these people weren`t misbehaving, it wouldn`t be happening. Nevertheless, two wrongs don`t make a right.
BEHAR: Right.
LOPEZ: And I think at the end of this it worked out well for Letterman. Because had this been again played out in court, it would have been embarrassing --
BEHAR: It would have been ugly.
LOPEZ: -- for Letterman and for his staff. And now --
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: And his wife who -- by the way, he was on "Regis and Kelly", Letterman, the other day. And he was saying that he was trying to patch up their marriage. Do you think it can be patched up after this debacle?
RHEA: They`ve been together since 1985. Yes, I think it can be patched up.
BEHAR: You do?
RHEA: Yes.
BEHAR: Would you be able to get over an infidelity that easily Caroline?
RHEA: I love Letterman. And if I got regular spots on the show, I think I can get over it.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: This is the same pandering that we`re doing now.
RHEA: I do. I have a weakness for him. You have your weakness for Leno; I have my weakness for Letterman.
BEHAR: All right. Thank you very much. Thank you, Caroline.
Mario, don`t go anywhere because we are going to talk about some diet things with you.
LOPEZ: Sounds good.
BEHAR: So we`ll be back in a minute. Ok.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I think you practiced (ph).
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Too big, I just had to hire two new associates. We`re thinking of taking on a third next month.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This town is filthy with malakas who will pay the big bucks to look half as good as we do.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: His body of work includes "Saved by the Bell" and the Entertainment show "Extra", which he hosts. His new book is called "Extra Lean: The fat burning plan that changes the way you eat for life".
Joining me again is the very busy Mario Lopez.
Ok, Mario. What is a Malaka? You say that in there.
LOPEZ: A malaka, yes. A malaka is one of the many tasty goodies that I have in there, Joy. And you know we were talking here in the commercial break about that you`re wanting to kind of dial it in a little bit more and get in shape.
And I`m so glad we`re talking about this because this is a compliment to my fitness book.
BEHAR: You`re not going to tell me what a malaka is.
LOPEZ: It`s sort of like a --
BEHAR: Oh, it`s a food.
LOPEZ: It`s a food yes.
BEHAR: Oh, it`s not a prostitute.
LOPEZ: No, no, no, no, no.
BEHAR: You say the town is filthy with malakas who`ll pay the big bucks.
LOPEZ: No, no, no -- the other segment`s bleeding over. Don`t confuse me with -- we`ll keep it focused here.
BEHAR: So if we follow the advice in your book, are we going to look like you? A young, handsome Hispanic man?
LOPEZ: Thank you. Well, you know, fitness has become a really important priority in my life. I`m the ambassador of the fitness for Boys and Girls Club of America. And I also am the president of the council of physical fitness. And I got inspired with my family because obesity`s prominently featured in my family and in my culture.
And as delicious as Mexican food is, growing up in its natural form is not the healthiest thing. So I made it a mission.
BEHAR: Fajitas are ok.
LOPEZ: Thanks. Fajitas are good. Especially the way they`re prepared in "Extra Lean", but I want to help people sort of just learn the basics of nutrition. Help them embrace food because I`m a food-lover and help them change their bodies and their lives.
(CROSSTALK)
BEHAR: There`s so many diet books, food books out there. Why is your book any different than anybody else?
LOPEZ: You know why Joy? Because it`s not a diet book. Diets don`t work.
BEHAR: Everybody says that.
LOPEZ: Diets don`t work. People work. And they just need the right information and the right tools. And diet has a bad connotation and it scares people and they feel guilty. Diet`s are about deprivation; I`m about embracing food.
My book pretty much features on how these three things --
BEHAR: If I just embraced it and didn`t eat it, I would lose weight.
LOPEZ: No, but then you`re metabolism would slow down you end up gaining more weight at the end of the day. The only way it`s going to sustain is if you change your philosophy and approach toward food. If you have fat, carbs and protein every meal, eat frequently throughout the day and monitor your portion control, which I explain in detail in this book, you will lose weight and you will keep it off.
I`m all about cheap meals. I love food.
BEHAR: So how many times a day am I supposed to eat?
LOPEZ: Frequently throughout the day; I don`t like to put a number on it.
BEHAR: Every two hours like a baby?
LOPEZ: Every three -- sort of like a cow grazing all day. But it`s like --
BEHAR: I beg your pardon?
LOPEZ: It`s like a fire, you`ve got to stoke the fire to keep that burning. Because it`ll happen -- how many times have you heard I`ll have cereal and a bagel, that`s all I had to eat today? What`s going to happen is you`re going to have dinner. You`re going to overeat, ok --
BEHAR: Yes.
LOPEZ: And then your metabolism all of a sudden has come to a screeching halt.
BEHAR: Are you from the don`t eat anything white school of thought?
LOPEZ: No, I eat anything. That`s why I really wanted to write the book because that`s exactly how I live and that`s what I eat. They say you must not have had pasta or bread for years. I`m like, I had it this morning.
BEHAR: So you don`t have to have whole wheat pasta?
LOPEZ: No, you don`t have to -- you can have everything you want just in the right amount, you have to know, how, when, and what?
BEHAR: Oh, the (INAUDIBLE) control.
Well, we`ll check out your book, which is called "Extra Lean: The fat burning plan that changes the way you eat for life".
We`ll be back in a moment with Joan Rivers.
Thank you, Mario.
LOPEZ: Thank you.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JOAN RIVERS, COMEDIAN: Are you rich? Oh, bull (EXPLICATIVE DELETED) I want to know who is picking all this up. Excuse me, all right, and how did you get so rich? Hello.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I was the guy who brought imitation crab meat to America the first time.
RIVERS: You brought imitation crab meat to America.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You don`t like it?
RIVERS: You made everyone sick at my wedding.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: Shy, demure, reserved, three words that don`t come to mind when you think of Joan Rivers. But funny, outrageous, outspoken? Yes. Joining me now fabulous Joan Rivers, comedian host of "HOW DID YOU GET SO RICH?" on TV land. That guy in the thing was like a nice catch for you.
RIVERS: Oh yes he was attractive -- by the way it`s on tomorrow night.
BEHAR: OK.
RIVERS: Wednesday night TV land, 10:00, let`s just get that out of the way.
BEHAR: Get it out of the way. Yes.
RIVERS: Because it`s sitting out there in the table and in my car.
BEHAR: OK. You`re always around rich people, it seems.
RIVERS: Well, New York, there`s so many rich people.
BEHAR: There are a lot of rich people.
RIVERS: And that`s how the show started. How many times do you go past -- how did they get so rich?
BEHAR: Yes.
RIVERS: And I said let`s do a show and find out.
BEHAR: Right.
RIVERS: And people have the weirdest ways of getting rich.
BEHAR: You`ll tell it on the show, right?
RIVERS: On the show we keep visiting people, see how they got so rich, how they made it, and then what they do with the money. And that`s just as fascinating.
BEHAR: So like somebody like Bill Gates, was he poor?
RIVERS: No, he`s rich -- he was from a rich family. I deal with people who have no money. People who think they come into the country literally -
BEHAR: Yes.
RIVERS: one man had 63 cents in his pocket and now he`s a billionaire. One man --
BEHAR: Wow, what did he do?
RIVERS: He got rich, he`s Preston Bailey, he`s the world`s largest florist now. He does the Saudi Arabian weddings where they get married in a football field and builds a crystal cathedral over.
BEHAR: Wow.
RIVERS: And lives with all this -- lives in a one -- in a studio apartment -
BEHAR: Yes.
RIVERS: Studio apartment, which but takes $300,000 vacations. People spend their money differently.
BEHAR: He lives in a studio apartment? Why? Did you find out why?
RIVERS: Yes, of course -- Joy.
BEHAR: I know, how could I even think that?
RIVERS: He said he`s around such affluence all the time. He said I like to come home and just get back to my roots. And it`s a beautiful one room, but it`s very simple. And we show it lovely but he said I just want to simplified life.
BEHAR: Have you found that these people are happy that have a lot of money?
RIVERS: Well they all tell you, money doesn`t make you happy.
BEHAR: That`s a bunch of baloney.
RIVERS: Give it to me.
BEHAR: Exactly.
RIVERS: And I say, give it to me you S.O.B., I`ll sit in a big house and cry and you can watch me.
BEHAR: Right, but you can be happy if you`re poor too, can`t you?
RIVERS: No.
BEHAR: No.
RIVERS: Of course you can be happy if you`re poor.
BEHAR: Well, you used to be able to be happy if you were poor. But not anymore.
RIVERS: I think at a certain age, it isn`t so much about --
BEHAR: Oh, no.
RIVERS: I don`t want to at this age have to beg a plastic surgeon. I want to be able to say, how much? That much? All right. Fine.
BEHAR: Do these people give their money to charity at all?
RIVERS: Very charitable.
BEHAR: They are?
RIVERS: First generation money.
BEHAR: First of all, it`s a tax deduction.
RIVERS: Yes but more than that, I think you`ve been that poor is all they`ve ever been. The guy that invented the --
BEHAR: -- the clapper.
RIVERS: Yes, yes, the clapper. Beyond rich. And he lived and was supported by this the city of Chicago. You know what I mean? It was on that kind of a thing.
BEHAR: Right.
RIVERS: Very charitable.
BEHAR: I never understand how someone comes up with this idea, say the clapper.
RIVERS: The clapper.
BEHAR: And what does he do to make it happen? To make all the money? That`s what --
RIVERS: They all believe in the idea. And to the point -- well, you know in our business, if you didn`t think you were funny to start, nobody was going to. So these people, who was it -- the man that does Paul Mitchell products.
BEHAR: Yes.
RIVERS: John, he said to me, he used to sell encyclopedias door to door. He said he`d get 100 rejections before I got a sale. He said to himself you`re going to get 100 no`s before you get a yes.
BEHAR: Wow that`s perserverance - you have to have to have in our business.
RIVERS: Yes, in our business.
BEHAR: For sure -- now the first episode is with Donald Trump.
RIVERS: Yes.
BEHAR: What did you learn from him we didn`t already know?
RIVERS: well, first of all, the father poor as they came. Smart. After World War II, Donald`s father went around and rang doorbells because the G.I`s were buying cars. So he would ring a doorbell and say $16, I`ll build you a garage.
BEHAR: Really?
RIVERS: He was building garages for $16. This is how the trump empire started. And then he was doing well, and then Donald came along and the drive to take that and do -- well, I learned so much from him.
BEHAR: Donald, yes, he`s a smart guy.
RIVERS: Smart, smart, smart.
BEHAR: Now, have you ever dated a guy who isn`t rich?
RIVERS: I`m dating one now.
BEHAR: You have a boyfriend? Tell me everything.
RIVERS: Homeless.
(LAUGHTER)
RIVERS: Very pure. At the end of the night, he`ll say -- your doorway or mine? That`s sweet.
BEHAR: Oh that`s so sweet.
RIVERS: And, you know, I`ve never seen New York the way I see it when you`re being pushed in a shopping cart. You really --
BEHAR: That particular point of view is so illuminating.
RIVERS: You think.
BEHAR: Now, let`s talk about this documentary about you, which I know is not coming out until what--
RIVERS: It`s June 11th.
BEHAR: And you`ll come back to talk about it.
RIVERS: I beg you.
BEHAR: I want you back to really talk about it. But I wanted to hit on it because I saw it at the screening --
RIVERS: I got you free tickets.
BEHAR: You did. Did the homeless guy get them for me?
RIVERS: No, god bless him. You make a joke. You know how nice he is. He has the most beautiful box. Minimalist.
BEHAR: So do I -- but go ahead. Wait a minute, let`s show a clip of the new documentary.
RIVERS: The new documentary.
BEHAR: The documentary. "Joan Rivers: A Piece Of Work."
RIVERS: June 11th it comes out.
BEHAR: Ok, let`s watch it.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RIVERS: I`ll show you fear. That`s fear. If my book ever looked like this, it would mean that nobody wants me that everything I tried to do in life didn`t work, nobody cared and I`ve been totally forgotten.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEHAR: I love the music. It`s like -- nothing on the calendar.
RIVERS: That`s my date book. My date book. Men call me up and say how about Tuesday? How about any day --
BEHAR: Were you having a bad day that day or something?
RIVERS: Well they followed me around -- you`re very cruel seeing me, they followed me around.
BEHAR: Yes.
RIVERS: They followed me for a year and a half. So they get you premenstrual.
BEHAR: Yes, right.
RIVERS: Is she buying it?
BEHAR: Are they buying it? But it made it look like you were so -- like you had to have something to do.
RIVERS: Yes! Yes, don`t you want -- I love the business. If my book had nothing in it, I wouldn`t know what to do.
BEHAR: But you`re so funny, you`re so talented, you`ll never be with an empty book.
RIVERS: Easy for you to say.
BEHAR: It`s true.
RIVERS: Remember, you have a life. You have a life. You have a boyfriend.
BEHAR: I have a boyfriend.
RIVERS: You have a boyfriend.
BEHAR: That`s true.
RIVERS: I got home at night, I got two dogs and, of course, we are perfect, it`s not the same thing.
BEHAR: I know you -- need a boyfriend.
RIVERS: Well, I had one.
BEHAR: What happen?
RIVERS: I was going to say he passed, and I can`t stand when they say he passed.
BEHAR: Did he die?
RIVERS: He died.
BEHAR: But you got another one that didn`t die.
RIVERS: Well, he was dead in bed. It was the same thing.
BEHAR: But no, there was another boyfriend.
RIVERS: Yes, I`ve had three since that guy.
BEHAR: OK.
RIVERS: One rich, one that`s -- only had one leg. I loved him the most. I did. Because there`s more room in the bed, you know what I mean?
BEHAR: There is. Much better.
RIVERS: Nobody thinks, you can put your dogs, put your books.
BEHAR: That`s true. That`s a very good point. That`s why Paul Mccartney stayed married to Heather Mills.
RIVERS: I got it.
BEHAR: This film maker who made this movie, I was reading he made a film -- she -- she made a film most about the Rwandan genocide. Is there some connection to you?
RIVERS: I wanted a serious filmmaker. And Annie and Ricky had done one on someone that was electrocuted unjustly, and then they did one on Rwanda, and obviously they`ve saw my act and said she`s dying up there, let`s help her.
BEHAR: No, no, come on. In the next segment, when we come back, I want to talk to you about stand-up, because there`s a scene in this movie. I have to discuss it with you people later. All right, Joanny?
RIVERS: Whatever you want, my angel.
BEHAR: OK, we`re going to come back. Do not leave the seat. We`ll be right back. I have to discuss that.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: I`m back with the fabulous Joan Rivers. OK, Joan. In the documentary, you`re in Wisconsin, and there`s a lot of gray hair and kind of --
RIVERS: Yes.
BEHAR: They`re rather conservative group in the audience.
RIVERS: It was very Northern Wisconsin.
BEHAR: OK. And you -- first of all, why did you go there?
RIVERS: Money.
BEHAR: OK.
RIVERS: And also I love seeing -- I love to see how beautiful that country was.
BEHAR: Yes, so what? But here`s the thing, I love Wisconsin, but I`m not going there in the northern part of it.
RIVERS: And cheese. They`ve got cheese.
BEHAR: Oh, get excited. OK. Wait a minute. So now I have to set the scene for people.
RIVERS: Yes.
BEHAR: You were in the casino or something. Which we`ve both done and know it`s sometimes the audiences are a little slow. But this group, they were laughing, but you did a joke about deafness.
RIVERS: Helen Keller.
BEHAR: Helen Keller joke, right -- she`s fair game at this point.
RIVERS: And she`s my friend.
BEHAR: Tragic, timing, equals comedy.
RIVERS: I said, you want the joke, she has one story.
BEHAR: Exactly.
RIVERS: Put my hands under the water.
(LAUGHTER)
BEHAR: I know.
RIVERS: And it went, whoa, Helen I`ve heard this now for 19 years.
BEHAR: Come up with another angle.
RIVERS: Get a different joke, you dumb (EXPLICATIVE DELETED). But she can`t hear you, so it`s all right.
BEHAR: She can`t hear you. So anyway you do the joke about Helen Keller, something like that, right.
RIVERS: Yes.
BEHAR: And some guy yells out, that`s not funny, I have a deaf son. Well, you laced into this guy. You (EXPLICATIVE DELETED).
RIVERS: Yes because she was out -- she was so angry. And you have 2,500, 3,000 people there to see the show. And he missed the point.
BEHAR: He did. Tell us - tell us what you said to him though.
RIVERS: I said which is true, I said, at the end my mother was deaf. I never do a joke unless I`ve had personal association.
BEHAR: Oh your mother was deaf.
RIVERS: At the end she lost her hearing. So don`t tell me about it because I know what that`s like.
BEHAR: Right.
RIVERS: And number two, is if I laugh, I truly believe there`s a comedian -- and you do too, I think, if you make something funny you can deal with it.
BEHAR: Right.
RIVERS: If you don`t talk about it, you`re going to choke. And so I laugh at everything. I laugh at the man with one leg.
BEHAR: Right.
RIVERS: I laugh at the end my cousin was blind, I do blind -- blind people. When was the last time, when was the last time a blind person gave you a compliment? When was the last time a blind person said -
BEHAR: That`s great.
RIVERS: Boy, don`t you look good today? Never. So now you can deal with this. My cousin used to laugh.
BEHAR: Yes right.
RIVERS: I used to say to her, thank you very much for saying I didn`t lose weight. I always used to say. You have a good view and you don`t appreciate it. She use to laugh.
BEHAR: I mean but the thing about it that`s true is that most comics, I think, like us -- we have, we use comedy as a defense, first of all. And it`s a great defense to use.
RIVERS: And it makes people -- I did jokes right after 9/11. Literally - I was working down the church.
BEHAR: You got into a little trouble for some of that.
RIVERS: And lot of people got offended -
BEHAR: Yes.
RIVERS: And a lot of people said it`s the first time I left after 9/11.
BEHAR: Yes, you went after the wives, didn`t you?
RIVERS: I went after the wives, which turned out to be true. I said there were a couple of wives there that weren`t so upset.
BEHAR: Well, because they didn`t like their husband.
RIVERS: A, they got $5 million. Everybody that lost a relative got $5 million.
BEHAR: Really?
RIVERS: And so all of these rich wives now suddenly -- and I said, oh, like it`s not a win-win for some people. And next thanksgiving, look around your table at your relatives. And don`t tell me if it went fast, you wouldn`t think, uncle Harry, so long.
BEHAR: So when they criticized you for that, how did you take that?
RIVERS: I said too bad because I was -- because that`s the way I feel. And truly, and I was getting enough people saying you`re making me laugh. Thank you for making me laugh. You remember New York, nobody was laughing.
BEHAR: It was very tough after that. And very difficult.
RIVERS: And Melissa lost three friends because they were all middle management stockbrokers in those buildings. That`s where Missy was at that time in her friends.
BEHAR: If you think you`re the person who lost the person, would of you laugh at it, you think?
RIVERS: I don`t know.
BEHAR: That`s why you always say, if they`re in the room, you might not do it.
RIVERS: But suicide. And I did suicide jokes immediately. That`s how I got through it.
BEHAR: Yes. It`s a good defense. It`s great. Now let`s talk about Lindsay Lohan.
RIVERS: Oh, oh -- she has an alcohol problem because the bottle`s empty. I love --
BEHAR: It`s always an issue.
RIVERS: Did you see the announcement? She`s doing --
BEHAR: Yes, Linda Lovely.
RIVERS: Linda Lovely is the announcement was and I`m going to play --
BEHAR: Do you think that`s a career move for her to play a porn star like that? Who did oral sex?
RIVERS: Oral sex. Brought oral sex to our children.
BEHAR: I thought that was -- I thought that was Bill Clinton.
RIVERS: I was going to say long before Bill Clinton. But --
BEHAR: But what if Melissa came to you and said I want to be in a porn movie. Would you ever do it?
RIVERS: I`d say, let me see the contract. Nothing for nothing. Don`t you dare unless it`s big bucks.
BEHAR: Now this girl, this Lindsay goes out partying with her mother at 2:00 in the morning.
RIVERS: Yes, I know.
BEHAR: What`s up with that?
RIVERS: Would you do that with your daughter?
BEHAR: I`m asleep at 11:00.
RIVERS: Would you party with your daughter at 7:00? Would you dance on tables?
BEHAR: No, she`s embarrassed about everything I do anyway.
RIVERS: Melissa walks around praying the biggest -- when she found out she wasn`t adopted. She cried. Out she wasn`t adopted. She cried.
BEHAR: Well you know I was saying Karl Rove, you know, he found out he was adopted when he was 17. I said, they probably told him that so he`d run away. Right? It`s like, why are you staying here? Now what about mother`s day, isn`t that coming up soon? And what do you do for mother`s day?
RIVERS: Well first of all, I think you should be, too, as mothers I think it`s a slap at women. We get a day and pickles get a week.
BEHAR: Really?
RIVERS: This is already not right.
BEHAR: I didn`t know that.
RIVERS: What am I doing for mother`s day? Well, my -- very little. Mostly go on vacations. Last year we went -- have you ever done swimming with the dolphins? She always takes me on a trip.
BEHAR: No, I`ve never done that.
RIVERS: They go to the bathroom in the water.
BEHAR: Who, the dolphins?
RIVERS: Yes.
BEHAR: Disgusting.
RIVERS: And you`re swimming and what`s that? This year I`m going to go swimming, dolphins in diapers. I`m not going there.
BEHAR: Now what`s this I hear you have a new reality show with Melissa?
RIVERS: Yes.
BEHAR: Oh, well sit tight. We`ll come back with more from Joan Rivers.
RIVERS: New season. How long have I known you?
BEHAR: The new season of her show "HOW DID YOU GET SO RICH" starts tomorrow at 10:00 p.m. on TV land. But we`re still here with Joani.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEHAR: And I`m back with comedy legend Joan Rivers. You know here`s a twitter question. You said your approach to comedy is stronger now because you`re angrier now. Why are you so angry?
RIVERS: Because I just think the world is insane. I think - we are living as if we`re in the middle ages. You can`t walk down 42nd street now. Everyone wants to blow up New York.
BEHAR: I know.
RIVERS: Everybody is angry at Americans and Americans are wonderful people.
BEHAR: Very wonderful.
RIVERS: We are really very nice people.
BEHAR: I know, we saved their ass during World War II. Leave us alone.
RIVERS: And we send money to everybody then they spit in our face.
BEHAR: Yes, I know.
RIVERS: I`m sick of that.
BEHAR: I am sick of it. You`re angry about the world.
RIVERS: I`m angry about the world, I`m angry about my thighs.
BEHAR: Well that we`re always angry about our thighs.
RIVERS: I`m just angry the cost of a pedicure. I`m angry.
BEHAR: So Joan, we were going to talk about Lynn Redgrave for a minute before we go because poor thing.
RIVERS: I loved her.
BEHAR: she was 67 years old. Wrung, young.
RIVERS: Young.
Well, young, when you`re sitting when I`m sitting everybody looks young at this point. I was very friendly with her in California. We used to have dinner together.
BEHAR: She`s a doll.
RIVERS: She was darling she always said she`s the one they didn`t respect and she was such a good actress.
BEHAR: Right.
RIVERS: Nobody gave her the respect. Vanessa.
BEHAR: It said in the obituary Vanessa was the star.
RIVERS: Yes.
BEHAR: What`s the brother`s name?
RIVERS: The brother is Korin, I think it was.
BEHAR: Korim, Koren, he was the brains.
RIVERS: Right.
BEHAR: And the other one, Lynn was, like --
RIVERS: And she was wonderful.
BEHAR: Yes.
RIVERS: And she used to -- I was very -- remember when she was nursed, the first woman to nurse in public which got me crazy. But it was her choice. The kid was 18. But it was her choice.
BEHAR: She did it in the trailer. In the trailer of a movie and went bankruptcy suing them because they threw her off the film or something.
RIVERS: Yes. I adored her. Her death is horrible.
BEHAR: You have a sister, don`t you?
RIVERS: I have a sister.
BEHAR: The sibling rivalry thing is interesting.
RIVERS: From the time we were born we thought, mother loves you better.
BEHAR: So was it worth it to have a sister?
RIVERS: In my case, no. No, it`s great.
BEHAR: You get along with her --
RIVERS: I get along. But we are getting older now, getting closer. Death -- no one says they died. Three people called me up and said, Lynn passed. I said, passing. That`s the point. They say things like she`s in a better place. I saw her house in Bel-Air. She`s not in a better place.
BEHAR: That`s hilarious.
RIVERS: She`s in a nice place, but did you see her house?
BEHAR: Yes. You know, 70 percent of Americans believe that there`s an afterlife, at least 70 percent.
RIVERS: Yes, but I`m scared. Who are you going to see up there? I know when they say to me, oh, you`re so lucky you`ll see your whole family. I don`t want to see --
BEHAR: I know see.
RIVERS: -- Aunt Emily ever again, that old bitch, there`s no way.
BEHAR: My uncle Joe, who loved Mussolini, I need to see him again? Who cares.
RIVERS: Who cares.
BEHAR: But she was a lovely girl.
RIVERS: She was a lovely girl. And somebody else called her -- said, god -- all the nonsense.
BEHAR: Yes.
RIVERS: And all this -- the way they talk. I love the certain things that she passed -- oh, god wanted her. No, no, no, the IRS wanted him. That`s why he jumped --
RIVERS: All right Joani we have to wrap this up. It`s always a pleasure to sit here and talk.
RIVERS: I love you.
BEHAR: I love you back. And thank you so much for doing this. I`m wearing your bracelet from QVC. We are plugging everything for you.
RIVERS: And "HOW DID YOU GET SO RICH" 10:00.
BEHAR: And "HOW DID YOU GET SO RICH,"
RIVERS: Tomorrow.
BEHAR: Premier 10:00 on TV land tomorrow night. Good night, everybody.
RIVERS: Are we over?
BEHAR: We`re done.
END
